1 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:18,500 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:31,420 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 3 00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:40,660 Good evening, welcome to Have I Got News For You. 4 00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:43,580 I'm Alexander Armstrong. In the news this week - 5 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:46,260 as filming begins on the latest instalment of the Mission Impossible 6 00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:51,260 franchise, Tom Cruise continues to insist on doing all his own stunts. 7 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,460 LAUGHTER 8 00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:00,740 At 800 feet, a conceptual artist tries to capture the fear of falling 9 00:01:00,740 --> 00:01:04,020 in a work called What's Happening In My Trousers? 10 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,540 LAUGHTER 11 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,740 And at the Dorchester Hotel, following a night of hijinks, 12 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:18,900 one man gets up early and retraces his steps 13 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:21,820 to see if he can find the key to his handcuffs. 14 00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:26,180 LAUGHTER 15 00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:31,140 On Ian's team tonight is a comedian 16 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:34,660 and actor who was born in the '90s under a Conservative government 17 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:37,740 beset by sleaze, sex scandals and cash-for-questions rows. 18 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:42,220 The bad old days, eh? Please welcome Munya Chawawa. 19 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,420 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 20 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:49,500 On Paul's team tonight is a comedian who recently revealed 21 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,020 her favourite song is Shipbuilding by Elvis Costello. 22 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,580 For any younger viewers watching, 23 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:59,580 Elvis Costello was like an '80s version of Ed Sheeran 24 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:03,860 and shipbuilding was like the '80s version of making TikToks. 25 00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:04,900 Please welcome Jo Brand. 26 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,420 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 27 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:08,820 We begin with the bigger news stories of the week. 28 00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,980 Paul and Jo, have a look at this. Yes. 29 00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:13,540 Oh, yes, the best prime minister we never had. 30 00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:16,340 Liz Truss obviously has brought a book out. 31 00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,780 Nigel Farage - this is a meeting in Belgium. 32 00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:21,660 Oh, there's a smoking ban coming in. For people who are now 33 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:24,180 about 14 years old, won't be able to buy cigarettes. 34 00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:27,300 That's exactly right. Anyone born after 2009. Yeah. Yeah. 35 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,220 How many Conservatives rebelled against the smoking ban? 36 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:30,820 69! MUNYA: 57, wasn't it? 37 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,340 41. Well... 38 00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:34,820 Three. Bingo! 39 00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:35,860 LAUGHTER 40 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:39,140 165 in total either voted against or abstained, 41 00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:42,260 and several of these MPs have been shown to have direct or indirect 42 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,900 connections to tobacco lobbyists or the tobacco industry itself. 43 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:46,020 Oh! Ooh! 44 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:48,420 Oh, really, Alexander! He shouldn't have mentioned that, should he? 45 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:50,380 He shouldn't have done! Shouldn't have mentioned that. 46 00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:53,100 How many of them just like having a fag? 47 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:57,100 Mostly the ones who went to Eton. 48 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,940 LAUGHTER 49 00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:03,060 SCATTERED APPLAUSE 50 00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:06,180 What are some of the arguments against the smoking ban? 51 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:09,740 One problem is going to be, isn't it, when those what are kids now 52 00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:14,740 get older and, like, one who's 45 can't smoke and his 46-year-old... 53 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:20,380 This is exactly... ..twin brother, or not quite. 54 00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:22,620 Former Conservative Health Secretary Sir Kenneth Clark, 55 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,420 later a director of British American Tobacco, 56 00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:27,140 argued that in years to come you'd have the possibility of... 57 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,940 Oh, did Kenneth Clarke say that? Yeah. 58 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,660 Oh, I don't agree with it, then. 59 00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:37,860 LAUGHTER 60 00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:40,740 It's a big public health debate, you know, the banning of smoking, 61 00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:43,620 and on the one hand you have Liz Truss, who's against it, 62 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,780 on the other hand you have Chris Whitty. 63 00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:48,100 LAUGHTER 64 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,180 I just don't know who to believe. Um... 65 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,020 What do you believe, Ian? 66 00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:56,340 I believe they've identified something that could make 67 00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:58,740 health a lot better and a lot cheaper 68 00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:02,740 and Rishi Sunak's trying to do something about it. 69 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:05,580 And, you know, this really hurts being pleasant 70 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:08,700 about the Prime Minister, you've no idea... 71 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:11,780 ..but I think it might be a good idea. 72 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:15,140 And the rebellion was led by people who want to be prime minister - 73 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,180 Kemi Badenoch, Penny Mordaunt. 74 00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:19,540 Kemi Badenoch - I think she was the only Cabinet minister 75 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:22,660 to rebel against it, so she was saying that she agrees with it 76 00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:24,580 in principle, but she doesn't like the execution, 77 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:26,500 and I think the phrase she said was, 78 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,660 "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." 79 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:30,580 So I feel like we should trust her 80 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:35,580 cos she travels down it to get to work every day. 81 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:39,220 But a lot of things that are quite fun are also bad for our health. 82 00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:40,260 Yeah, heroin. Yeah. 83 00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:43,860 Seat belts in cars. Yes. There was a big fuss about that at the time. 84 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,540 That was an infringement of civil liberties 85 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,860 to have a seat belt in a car. 86 00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:50,260 Which individual thought car seats in cars shouldn't be allowed? 87 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:51,300 Car seats?! For babies? 88 00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:52,740 Children's car seats. Oh, I see. 89 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:55,820 Was that Rishi Sunak cos he felt patronised? 90 00:04:55,820 --> 00:05:00,140 APPLAUSE 91 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,580 Well, how long ago was it? 92 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:02,820 In 2006. 93 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,980 It was Boris Johnson, but then he didn't have 94 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:07,740 so many children then! 95 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,660 The new smoking bill will also tackle vapes. 96 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,340 What are the plans for vapes? 97 00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,020 Is it, like, to ban disposable vapes? 98 00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:16,500 Yes, but also... 99 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:22,820 Broccoli or anchovy flavoured. Oh, right. 100 00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:25,420 Can I add watermelon to that as well? Oh! 101 00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:28,700 My daughter made me try it and it was... 102 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,580 Well, it was fruit, wasn't it? It made me feel sick. Oh! 103 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,420 LAUGHTER 104 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,100 Staying with health, 105 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:38,180 what did staff at the Royal Stoke Hospital do this week? 106 00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:39,060 The answer is we don't know. 107 00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:45,540 Yes. They made a banner declaring that the hospital welcomes 108 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:48,180 21 different genders and sexualities. 109 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,620 Oh. 21? There they are. Wow. 110 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,340 I don't know some of those countries. 111 00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:52,740 LAUGHTER 112 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:55,140 MUNYA: That's Zimbabwe at the end. Yeah. 113 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:58,980 Each of these 21 genders has its own flag. 114 00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:02,140 And why not? You know, now cancer's been cured and everything. 115 00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:06,180 What's interesting about the Conservative MP 116 00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,340 for Fylde, Mark Menzies? 117 00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:09,900 Nothing. 118 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,820 No, actually, there is, isn't there? Yeah. Yes. 119 00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,500 Didn't he get shut in a room 120 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,140 and he had to phone someone at 3:00 in the morning 121 00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:19,260 and say he was being held by some bad men and he needed, 122 00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:21,420 was it five grand? £5,000, yeah. Five grand, yeah. 123 00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:24,580 According to the Times, the MP rang an elderly local party volunteer 124 00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:26,780 at 3:15am last December saying he was... 125 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,860 Yeah, I mean, it's a repeated pattern. 126 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,540 And he really laid it on thick. 127 00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:36,220 He said it was medical bills 128 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:39,820 and he had no idea, you know, how on earth he was going to escape. 129 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,100 And he asked for the money from local donors 130 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:44,980 to be put into his own account. 131 00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:48,140 You know, thank goodness he wasn't fiddling his council tax 132 00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:51,660 for a small amount...then it would be a proper scandal! 133 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:55,220 Last time he was in trouble, it was for paying a Brazilian rent boy 134 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,660 and asking him to buy drugs for him. 135 00:06:57,660 --> 00:07:00,140 But it was a long time ago and no-one cares. 136 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:05,140 He has also been accused of... 137 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,780 LAUGHTER 138 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:13,740 And... Yes? Oh, even worse for music lovers - 139 00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:16,660 this is for Classic FM. Actually, it's a bit interesting. 140 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:18,860 At the Last Night of the Proms concert 141 00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:21,460 featuring Katherine Jenkins... I was going to tell you this! 142 00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:24,580 It's not just you putting on a record and waiting for three months! 143 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:26,500 I know, I get so used to it! 144 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:30,340 Your grasp of modern technology is amazing - "putting on a record"! 145 00:07:35,980 --> 00:07:38,820 I'm just saying, he got drunk during Last Night of the Proms 146 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:41,460 and he had to get the stewards to take him out. 147 00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,140 I mean, it's not merely poor behaviour, 148 00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:45,260 it was positively unpatriotic. 149 00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:46,460 Yes. PAUL CHUCKLES 150 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:47,700 Yes. Yes! 151 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,380 He turned up drunk and began... 152 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,900 He denied he was drunk 153 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:59,940 and said he hadn't intentionally poked anyone and... 154 00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:02,780 Since the latest claims, which he disputes, 155 00:08:02,780 --> 00:08:06,620 Menzies has had the whip removed. 156 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,940 Ooh, I wouldn't fancy that job! 157 00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:14,660 The Tory party sat on this for three months. Yes. Yes. 158 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,540 Not him, just... No. 159 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:20,100 He'd have paid good money for that, wouldn't he? 160 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,780 What was the bad news for Angela Rayner this week? 161 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,340 The police have got involved. 162 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:27,060 That's right, yes. The police have... 163 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,980 ..into the allegation that she has broken tax and electoral laws. 164 00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:33,900 Who has been rearrested north of the border? 165 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,300 Nicola Sturgeon's husband, whose name escapes me. 166 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:39,340 Peter Murrell. Peter Murrell, yes. 167 00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:40,780 He's been charged... He's been charged? 168 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:43,100 ..with embezzlement. Yes. 169 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,900 AUDIENCE MURMUR, OOH Oh! Yes. 170 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:45,940 Good noise! 171 00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:48,140 Yes. 172 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:51,500 Scottish police do something that isn't arresting people online! 173 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,540 LAUGHTER 174 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:54,940 What's the Government been playing with the House of Lords? 175 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:57,660 Parliamentary ping-pong. 176 00:08:57,660 --> 00:08:59,580 More precisely... 177 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,020 Oh, is that like French cricket? 178 00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,660 The House of Lords has repeatedly sent back the Rwanda bill 179 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,820 to the Commons because it rejects the Government's assertion 180 00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:08,700 that it can simply pass a law that says Rwanda is safe. 181 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,820 Rishi Sunak is reportedly trying to do a similar deal with Costa Rica. 182 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:15,620 And Narnia! 183 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:21,260 Just step into this wardrobe. 184 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,180 Speaking of human rights, you mentioned this earlier, 185 00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,100 where else has freedom of speech been curtailed? 186 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,900 Belgium! Yes, in Brussels. Brussels. 187 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,740 Belgian police tried to shut down a European Conservatives conference. 188 00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:32,420 Authorities in Belgium would like to see such events banned 189 00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:36,620 in case anything interesting happens. 190 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:39,020 It is quite funny that Nigel Farage is now complaining 191 00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:42,180 about not being allowed to go to Brussels. 192 00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:47,220 It sounds to me like they didn't have much to talk about, 193 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:51,580 just a load of sort of Belgian waffle. 194 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:56,820 Was there a notable absentee? 195 00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:58,500 Liz Truss. Liz Truss, absolutely. 196 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,140 Busy plugging her book... Yeah. 197 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,380 ..Ten Years To Save The West. Yeah. 198 00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:05,020 Would you like to see her cleverly weaving this 199 00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:07,060 into an interview on American TV? 200 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:08,100 Oh, yes, please. Yeah. 201 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,620 Great to see you. 202 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:11,300 Your thoughts... Great to see you. 203 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,220 And here's my new book. 204 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:18,020 Yep. I'll just get that up... 205 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:22,260 There you go. 206 00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:27,980 Look at that man's expression, though. Yeah. 207 00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:29,140 He just can't believe it. 208 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:32,380 Did the ten years start from when she became prime minister? 209 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,020 I don't think we've extracted all the fun out of this, 210 00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:36,940 so shall we have a Big Liz Quiz? 211 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:37,980 Oh, yeah! Yes, yes! 212 00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:38,140 OK, fingers on buzzers, because here is the first question. 213 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,500 OK, fingers on buzzers, because here is the first question. 214 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,620 What did Liz Truss say when, on only her second day as PM, 215 00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,220 she heard about the Queen's death? 216 00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:51,100 BELL RINGS Yes, Ian and Munya? 217 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:54,420 The Queen died and she said, "Why me?" 218 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:58,380 It's a question we've all asked. 219 00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:00,180 Absolutely right. 220 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,820 What was the Queen's one piece of advice to Liz Truss? 221 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:03,860 BELL RINGS 222 00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:04,900 Was it "pace yourself"? 223 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:06,900 It is, absolutely right. You're on fire. 224 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:10,140 Well, it's funny that that's the exact same advice you'd give 225 00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:15,140 to your unemployed alcoholic uncle at Christmas. 226 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:18,340 LAUGHTER 227 00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,500 What did Liz Truss say was her biggest problem 228 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:23,180 with TV leadership debates with Rishi Sunak? 229 00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:25,060 BUZZER Yes? 230 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,820 No idea, but I just wanted to press my buzzer. Do you know? 231 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:29,860 Um... 232 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,060 She couldn't see him properly? 233 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:34,100 He was behind a table. 234 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,780 LAUGHTER I don't know. 235 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,180 BELL RINGS Her feet hurt! 236 00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:41,860 Oh, Ian, you don't know it, do you? 237 00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:44,300 Well, her biggest problem is she doesn't listen to people, 238 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,340 which makes debate impossible. 239 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:50,340 That's not what she said. 240 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:54,060 She said she had never debated on live TV before 241 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:57,660 and found it difficult to generate energy, saying,... 242 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,260 We just get biscuits! 243 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:06,980 We only get biscuits! 244 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:10,180 What happened to the furniture that Liz ordered 245 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,100 when she moved in to 10 Downing Street? 246 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,140 BELL RINGS Ian? 247 00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:15,540 You're being a bit obsessed with Liz Truss, aren't you? 248 00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:16,580 LAUGHTER 249 00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:18,500 I think you've read her book, haven't you? 250 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,620 How dare you?! 251 00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:25,060 Am I right? You might be. Yeah. 252 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,380 She ordered a load of furniture, 253 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,500 but she didn't last long enough as PM for it to be delivered. 254 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,340 Yeah. 255 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,100 Who, according to Liz Truss, 256 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,460 was to blame for financial meltdown in 2022? 257 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,820 BUZZER Paul? 258 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:45,620 The civil service, the Bank of England, everybody but her. 259 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:48,700 Exactly right. Everyone except Liz. Yeah. 260 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,580 She came up with the most brilliant quote. She said, 261 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:56,580 "The problem for me was that there were no experts on our side." 262 00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:59,860 Hmm... 263 00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:02,180 I wonder why that would be? 264 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:03,420 Actually, this quiz is lasting 265 00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:07,260 longer than she was actually in Downing Street! 266 00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:10,140 Liz Truss has made a lot of enemies, including her own handbag. 267 00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:12,420 Have a look at this. 268 00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,900 LAUGHTER Oh, wow. 269 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:20,380 I'm afraid that is the end of the Big Liz Quiz... 270 00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:23,500 Oh! Oh! Oh! Too soon! We want more! We want more! 271 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,540 APPLAUSE 272 00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:28,020 Yes, this is Liz Truss on the comeback trail. 273 00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:30,900 With a general election on the horizon, Liz Truss says she hopes 274 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:34,020 to remain an MP, and with a majority of 26,000, 275 00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:39,020 you have to say...it's touch-and-go. 276 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,700 Liz Truss described her second 277 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,260 and final meeting with the Queen, saying... 278 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:50,140 I know, 49 days! 279 00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:52,540 Rishi Sunak's ban on cigarettes will have a profound effect 280 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,260 on children under the age of 15, 281 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:59,180 many of whom will have to give up smoking. 282 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,860 Ian and Munya, take a look at this. 283 00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:07,940 OK, this is Trump at Fashion Week '24. 284 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:09,380 They're struggling to get the jury. 285 00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,580 And then this is Trump 286 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:13,380 with the classic black power symbol for some reason. 287 00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:16,020 OK, so I think he is the first former US president 288 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,420 to be on criminal trial for allegedly paying hush money 289 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:22,420 to pornstar Stormy Daniels. 290 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,100 They've been struggling to get a jury 291 00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,260 because people are struggling to be impartial towards him. 292 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:28,180 That's exactly right. Absolutely unprecedented event, yes. 293 00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:30,980 A former US president on trial for a criminal offence. 294 00:14:30,980 --> 00:14:33,340 Unless he wins the election in November, 295 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:37,020 and then, for the first time in history, a current US president 296 00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:39,940 will have gone on trial for a criminal offence. 297 00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:43,820 What's wrong with lying? 298 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:46,700 If I got the chance to go on a jury judging Trump 299 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,380 I would lie my head off... LAUGHTER 300 00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:51,020 ..to do that cos it's going to be spectacular, isn't it? 301 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,060 Yeah. Yeah. 302 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,980 Has anyone here done jury service here? 303 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:57,620 No, have you? I have. I had a lovely time, actually, 304 00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,780 cos I got shepherded in with about 40 people 305 00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:04,300 and the accused saw me and went, 306 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,700 "I'm not having that fucking Jo Brand on my jury!" 307 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,060 LAUGHTER 308 00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:11,700 So you were excused. Yeah, the judge asked me to leave. 309 00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:14,820 "Oh, you'd better go." Yeah, it was a really boring trial as well. 310 00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,220 I was delighted. It was one of Ian's, wasn't it? 311 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,260 LAUGHTER One of Ian's. 312 00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:22,140 APPLAUSE 313 00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,540 Trump is alleged to have had a relationship 314 00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:26,620 with another glamour model. 315 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:27,620 What was she called? 316 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:31,300 Liz Truss. 317 00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:35,380 Something like Stormy Daniels, so it's sort of a... 318 00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:37,340 Weather Woman Tempest. 319 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,700 She's called Karen McDougal. Oh. 320 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:44,060 She is a former Playboy Playmate of the Month. 321 00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:46,580 December '97, if memory serves. 322 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:50,460 LAUGHTER 323 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:54,060 96 potential jurors were introduced to Donald Trump in court. 324 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:57,420 And at least 50 of them then said 325 00:15:57,420 --> 00:16:00,300 it would be impossible to be impartial and were allowed to leave. 326 00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,420 Here is BBC's North America editor Sarah Smith. 327 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,060 There were quite a few testy arguments in the court room 328 00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:09,020 this afternoon as Donald Trump's lawyers 329 00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:11,980 objected to some of the jurors. One man was dismissed 330 00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,620 when it turned out that he had posted on Facebook back 331 00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:17,500 when Donald Trump was president, "Get him out and lock him up." 332 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:18,700 He's not on the jury. 333 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,940 LAUGHTER 334 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:23,420 What are the chances of Trump ending up in jail? 335 00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:26,140 Well, he did it, so probably quite high. 336 00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:30,220 I just said that to wake the lawyer up. 337 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,140 Well, it's... You know, he's guilty, isn't he? 338 00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:36,420 I'm glad you rephrased that. 339 00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:40,060 But it doesn't matter, does it? 340 00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:42,700 Because he has the same support even if he's in jail. 341 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,220 So he can just campaign in an orange suit. Yeah. 342 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:49,100 Will we see him? 343 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:52,620 Could someone that's actually in jail be president from jail? 344 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,260 You can be. There's no rule about that. Oh, you can? 345 00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,420 Yeah, they put you in the West Wing. Yeah. 346 00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,460 AUDIENCE GROANS 347 00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:03,180 Thank you very much. 348 00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:06,060 I would just like to point out that when I perhaps inadvertently 349 00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,740 suggested that he might possibly be guilty, 350 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:09,900 I have no idea. 351 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:13,020 MOUTHS 352 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,740 APPLAUSE 353 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,340 Well, let us briefly turn our thoughts to the Middle East 354 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:25,260 and the potential nuclear destruction. 355 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,900 How have events escalated? Iran is now involved. Yes. 356 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:29,300 There were attempted strikes 357 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,900 although I think very few got through. 358 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:35,380 Right, yes. They launched 300 missiles straight at Israel. 359 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,420 Drones, cruise and ballistic missiles. 360 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:40,180 And they were all taken out. 361 00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:43,060 At which point, the Iranians said, "That's it. Nothing more to see. 362 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:44,980 "That's the end of it. Leave us alone." 363 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,700 Here is how BBC Radio 2 covered the news. 364 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,540 Lieutenant Colonel Peter Lerner from the IDF 365 00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:54,700 says Israel wouldn't shy away from further confrontation. 366 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:57,340 KOOL & THE GANG PLAYS LOUDLY IN THE BACKGROUND 367 00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:01,340 Iran has proven in what it did last night as it continues to be 368 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:03,740 a very, very substantial enemy and a very reasoned strategic 369 00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:04,940 orchestrator of attacks against Israel. 370 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,100 LOUD MUSIC CONTINUES 371 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:10,100 And therefore, I would not say that this is game over. 372 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:14,740 I would say absolutely... MUSIC STOPS 373 00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:19,740 Lieutenant Colonel Peter Lerner featuring Kool & The Gang. 374 00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:23,540 Yes, this is the trial of former president 375 00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:28,540 and billionaire business mogul Donald Trump 376 00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,980 and the details of his affair with a porn star 377 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,460 and a Playboy model. Quite spicy, 378 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:38,060 but it's no Angela Rayner council house capital gains tax scam. 379 00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:41,460 So far, the list of confirmed jurors includes... 380 00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:45,820 Or, as they've now decided to call themselves, Team Apex. 381 00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,220 For their first task, they have two days to create 382 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:51,020 and sell their own brand of vegan muffins. 383 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,700 Radio 2 had an embarrassing moment when they broadcast 384 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,820 Kool & The Gang over the top of 385 00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:58,740 a statement from the Israeli Defence League. 386 00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:00,420 Neatly illustrating the problem with nuclear weapons. 387 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:04,660 So easy to press the wrong button. 388 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:09,660 Oh, that's linked straight to Tehran. 389 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,220 And so to Round 2 390 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,380 and it is time for the strengtho-meter of news, 391 00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:17,420 fingers on buzzers, teams. 392 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:20,700 BUZZER 393 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,340 This is a series of barcode dresses. 394 00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:26,860 When you walk into a supermarket, you get... 395 00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:29,940 You end up getting four packets of yoghurt. 396 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,580 Packets of yoghurt? Tubs, milord. 397 00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:37,580 I beg your pardon? Anyway... 398 00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:44,660 Is it to do with the Olympics? 399 00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:47,540 Yes, it's the news that we are less than 100 days away 400 00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:49,700 from the start of the Olympic Games in Paris. 401 00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:52,100 And the countdown was marked in a very dramatic ceremony 402 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,020 in the ruins of Ancient Olympia in Greece. 403 00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,460 Did anyone actually see it? Yes. 404 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,620 How was it? Did you? It was very good. 405 00:19:57,620 --> 00:20:01,300 It was excellent. 406 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:04,420 Shall we have a quick look at some of the highlights? Yes, please. 407 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,660 Refresh our memories. HARP MUSIC 408 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:13,500 SOPRANO SINGS 409 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:23,260 Where did they actually film that dance from? 410 00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,020 Well, it looks like Berkshire, doesn't it? 411 00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:27,580 I mean, I've never seen anywhere more English. 412 00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:31,860 It looks like a park outside Swindon. 413 00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:33,540 There was one hiccup with the ceremony. 414 00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:36,180 Does anyone know what that was? Oh, the flame wouldn't flame. 415 00:20:36,180 --> 00:20:37,220 That's right. 416 00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:39,660 According to the Guardian, the weather was cloudy, 417 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:42,100 so the traditional method of focusing the sun's rays 418 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,660 to light the torch didn't work. 419 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,580 And they had to use a backup flame. 420 00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:48,140 What, a lighter? 421 00:20:48,140 --> 00:20:50,620 I think one of the French dignitaries had a fag. 422 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,940 Just lit it off that. 423 00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:56,820 The Olympic torch will now set off on a 10,000 mile journey 424 00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,500 through Greece, France and its overseas territories 425 00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,700 for the next three months. 426 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,620 But what happens to the torch at night? 427 00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:03,980 It goes to the pub. 428 00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,980 Oh, it's guarded. 429 00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:08,380 Well, the flame must always remain alight throughout the relays. 430 00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:10,540 So it rests in a special cauldron overnight. 431 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:12,340 Like Suella Braverman does. 432 00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:17,340 LAUGHTER 433 00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,540 Well, finally, from Ancient Greece to Ancient Rome. 434 00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,860 What has been found in a hole in Italy? 435 00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:25,580 Oh, Pompeii, there's all kinds of sort of wall paintings, 436 00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:27,540 a pizza, they think they've discovered. 437 00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:30,660 That's right. Various pictures of animals and human beings. 438 00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:33,300 It's a great discovery so everybody is very excited by it. 439 00:21:33,300 --> 00:21:36,500 And they've found two new pictures. 440 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:39,180 They have. Exquisitely preserved as well. Yeah! 441 00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:41,340 Let's have a look. We have Helen of Troy. 442 00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,500 That dog looks a bit worried, though, doesn't it? 443 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:47,140 He's got a feeling there's going to be an eruption in the volcano. 444 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,540 And here is an Apollo mural. 445 00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:52,220 That's with Cassandra. Yeah. 446 00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:53,660 Have you seen my plectrum? 447 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:56,860 LAUGHTER 448 00:21:56,860 --> 00:22:01,540 But she turned him down. Yeah. Well, I'm not surprised. 449 00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:04,180 This is the news that the Olympic torch has been lit 450 00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:06,340 and will soon be making its way to France. 451 00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:08,740 Thousands of British policemen will travel to Paris to support 452 00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:10,180 the security operation surrounding the games. 453 00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:12,900 It will make the streets safer... 454 00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,660 ..for women walking around London. 455 00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:18,260 AUDIENCE: Ohhhh! 456 00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:21,660 The picture on the wall uncovered in Pompeii seems to depict 457 00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,340 an ancient Roman pizza. Yeah. 458 00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:26,340 The theory was lent weight 459 00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:30,420 when a papyrus delivery leaflet was also unearthed... 460 00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:31,460 ..headed Dominus. 461 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:32,940 Fingers on buzzers... That deserved more. 462 00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:35,780 I think it did. Yeah. Yes. 463 00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:40,780 Dominus. 464 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:43,540 IRONIC CHEERING 465 00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:45,700 It deserved more, but that was too much. Yeah. 466 00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:48,220 Fingers on buzzers... 467 00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:49,300 BELL 468 00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:53,780 Oh, yes. Ian and Munya. 469 00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:58,180 Apparently, Gen Z are trying to introduce anti-wrinkle straws. 470 00:22:58,180 --> 00:23:03,180 Gen Z, is she a popular artist? 471 00:23:05,740 --> 00:23:07,660 This is so that you just don't get... 472 00:23:07,660 --> 00:23:09,660 You don't... 473 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:11,580 These treacherous muscles here that do terrible things. 474 00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:15,660 You don't end up looking like one of those tea-towel holders. 475 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:16,700 LAUGHTER 476 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:18,620 That's absolutely right. Well, let's have a look. 477 00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:21,500 We have a picture of a woman here, there we go. 478 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:24,620 There is a Gen Z, they force sippers to drink from the side 479 00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:26,060 avoiding pursing or straining the lips 480 00:23:26,060 --> 00:23:27,260 and supposedly preventing perioral wrinkles. 481 00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:32,260 I was at school with someone called Perioral Wrinkles. 482 00:23:33,540 --> 00:23:36,140 He is now doing very well in the Department of Agriculture 483 00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:38,900 and Fisheries, isn't he? Doing very well. 484 00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:40,940 Aesthetic expert Dr Daniel Hunt told the Telegraph... 485 00:23:40,940 --> 00:23:43,660 So, yes, I'm going to demonstrate one. 486 00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:48,660 I have one right here, look at that. 487 00:23:51,020 --> 00:23:56,020 Beautiful. Beautiful thing. Made of glass. Yes. 488 00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:02,860 You look ridiculous. It's the last word in elegance. 489 00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:04,780 Jo, I've got one for you as well. 490 00:24:04,780 --> 00:24:08,740 Fuck off! Will you have a go? 491 00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,620 Do you want to have a go? I'll have a go, yeah. 492 00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:15,220 There you are. I'll have a go. 493 00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:20,180 You do look as though you are... The problem is the thing. 494 00:24:20,180 --> 00:24:24,580 It's the Kia-Ora that I'm not really enjoying. 495 00:24:26,780 --> 00:24:29,740 The straw is great. 496 00:24:29,740 --> 00:24:32,380 This is the news that Gen Z have adopted anti-wrinkle straws 497 00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:34,300 in their ongoing battle to slow down ageing. 498 00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:37,140 According to the Mail, to prevent wrinkle lines, 499 00:24:37,140 --> 00:24:40,500 Gen Z are trying not to... 500 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:46,260 Although mention JK Rowling and see what happens. 501 00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:48,620 It can be a bit confusing identifying all these 502 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:50,060 different generations, the Gen Zees... Zed. 503 00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:51,500 ..Millennials, Gen X, 504 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,420 Boomers and then of course we've got Ian 505 00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:56,100 who I believe is Jacobean. 506 00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:03,140 Time now for the Missing Words Round 507 00:25:03,140 --> 00:25:04,180 and we start with... 508 00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:06,340 What once spent an hour and a half, what? 509 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:11,340 Liz Truss as Prime Minister. 510 00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:18,540 In an interview this week, fashion icon Twiggy revealed 511 00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:20,940 she once got her arm trapped in a vending machine 512 00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:21,980 at Brighton train station 513 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:24,500 while trying to retrieve a chocolate bar from inside. 514 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:29,180 Unfortunately, we haven't got any photos of the traumatic incident, 515 00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:33,700 because, in those days, people actually gathered around TO HELP. 516 00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:39,540 Twiggy said she could actually see the Twix bar 517 00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,180 she was trying to retrieve 518 00:25:42,180 --> 00:25:44,740 and because skirts were so short in those days, 519 00:25:44,740 --> 00:25:49,740 passers-by may even have caught a glimpse of Curly Wurly. 520 00:25:52,940 --> 00:25:56,420 Next... I don't think we've got over the last one yet. 521 00:25:56,420 --> 00:26:00,540 What pictured looking furious after rescue by fire brigade? 522 00:26:00,540 --> 00:26:02,460 It's got to be a cat, isn't it? 523 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,020 A cat looking really furious. 524 00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:06,660 It is "cat in Lancashire". 525 00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:09,340 The cat in question got stuck between two walls 526 00:26:09,340 --> 00:26:11,740 and had to be chiselled out by the fire brigade. 527 00:26:11,740 --> 00:26:13,780 Here it is after being freed. 528 00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:19,060 He's not happy. 529 00:26:19,060 --> 00:26:20,500 What do you expect in Lancashire? 530 00:26:20,500 --> 00:26:23,140 If you want a cat with a smile on his face, 531 00:26:23,140 --> 00:26:25,180 everyone knows you've got to go to Cheshire. 532 00:26:25,180 --> 00:26:26,340 AUDIENCE GROANS AND APPLAUDS 533 00:26:26,340 --> 00:26:29,740 You send a mixed message when you groan and then clap. 534 00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:32,140 Finally, tiny ladders, what? 535 00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:34,380 Infuriate firemen with big feet. 536 00:26:34,380 --> 00:26:37,500 LAUGHTER 537 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:42,500 To give evidence after Stormy Daniels. 538 00:26:47,340 --> 00:26:50,900 APPLAUSE 539 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:54,260 Oh, that's nice. Here they are. 540 00:26:54,260 --> 00:26:56,740 There we are. According to the Times... 541 00:27:03,460 --> 00:27:05,460 Making it the biggest piece of UK infrastructure 542 00:27:05,460 --> 00:27:08,580 completed under the current government. 543 00:27:08,580 --> 00:27:10,980 So the final scores are Paul and Jo on eight, 544 00:27:10,980 --> 00:27:12,980 Ian and Munya on nine. 545 00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:14,660 We did it! Yay! Because of you. 546 00:27:14,660 --> 00:27:17,820 JO: Oh, well. 547 00:27:17,820 --> 00:27:20,740 But before we go, there is just time for the caption competition. 548 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:23,380 Oh, right, now, the elephant on the right has been looking, 549 00:27:23,380 --> 00:27:26,460 saying, "OK, mate, you distract him while I kick him up the arse." 550 00:27:26,460 --> 00:27:28,460 LAUGHTER 551 00:27:29,540 --> 00:27:31,580 Is the elephant saying, "Have you got anything in a sandal?" 552 00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:40,100 On which note we say thank you to our panellists, 553 00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:41,380 Ian Hislop and Munya Chawawa, 554 00:27:41,380 --> 00:27:44,020 Paul Merton and Jo Brand and I leave you with news 555 00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:45,940 that at a seniors golf competition in Florida, 556 00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:46,980 one contestant claims victory 557 00:27:46,980 --> 00:27:49,900 despite having left his golf club at home. 558 00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:52,980 LAUGHTER 559 00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:54,900 Viewers of Channel 5's GP Behind Closed Doors 560 00:27:54,900 --> 00:27:58,780 are shocked as a man reveals his badly swollen testicle. 561 00:27:58,780 --> 00:28:02,260 LAUGHTER 562 00:28:06,660 --> 00:28:08,780 And at a government meeting on levelling up, 563 00:28:08,780 --> 00:28:11,100 one minister denies a lack of focus 564 00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:12,820 as he finds himself thinking about 565 00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:14,460 the new fabric for his bedroom carpet. 566 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,220 LAUGHTER 567 00:28:18,860 --> 00:28:19,900 Goodnight. 568 00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:23,460 APPLAUSE