1
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:18,660
This programme contains
some strong language
2
00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:31,580
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
3
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:40,820
Good evening, welcome to
Have I Got News For You.
4
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:43,740
I'm Alexander Armstrong.
In the news this week -
5
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:46,420
as filming begins on the latest
instalment of the Mission Impossible
6
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:51,420
franchise, Tom Cruise continues to
insist on doing all his own stunts.
7
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,620
LAUGHTER
8
00:00:57,380 --> 00:01:00,900
At 800 feet, a conceptual artist
tries to capture the fear of falling
9
00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:04,180
in a work called
What's Happening In My Trousers?
10
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:07,700
LAUGHTER
11
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:16,900
And at the Dorchester Hotel,
following a night of hijinks,
12
00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:19,060
one man gets up early
and retraces his steps
13
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,980
to see if he can find the key
to his handcuffs.
14
00:01:24,220 --> 00:01:26,340
LAUGHTER
15
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:31,300
On Ian's team tonight is a comedian
16
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:34,820
and actor who was born in the '90s
under a Conservative government
17
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,900
beset by sleaze, sex scandals
and cash-for-questions rows.
18
00:01:37,940 --> 00:01:42,380
The bad old days, eh?
Please welcome Munya Chawawa.
19
00:01:44,260 --> 00:01:46,580
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
20
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:49,660
On Paul's team tonight is a comedian
who recently revealed
21
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:52,180
her favourite song is
Shipbuilding by Elvis Costello.
22
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:54,740
For any younger viewers watching,
23
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:59,740
Elvis Costello was like
an '80s version of Ed Sheeran
24
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:04,020
and shipbuilding was like the '80s
version of making TikToks.
25
00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:05,060
Please welcome Jo Brand.
26
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,580
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
27
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,980
We begin with the bigger news
stories of the week.
28
00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,140
Paul and Jo, have a look
at this.Yes.
29
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,700
Oh, yes, the best prime minister
we never had.
30
00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:16,500
Liz Truss obviously has
brought a book out.
31
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,940
Nigel Farage -
this is a meeting in Belgium.
32
00:02:18,980 --> 00:02:21,820
Oh, there's a smoking ban coming in.
For people who are now
33
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:24,340
about 14 years old,
won't be able to buy cigarettes.
34
00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:27,460
That's exactly right. Anyone born
after 2009.Yeah. Yeah.
35
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,380
How many Conservatives rebelled
against the smoking ban?
36
00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,980
69!
MUNYA:57, wasn't it?
37
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,500
41. Well...
38
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:34,980
Three. Bingo!
39
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,020
LAUGHTER
40
00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:39,300
165 in total either
voted against or abstained,
41
00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:42,420
and several of these MPs have been
shown to have direct or indirect
42
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:45,060
connections to tobacco lobbyists or
the tobacco industry itself.
43
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,180
Oh! Ooh!
44
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:48,580
Oh, really, Alexander! He shouldn't
have mentioned that, should he?
45
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,540
He shouldn't have done!
Shouldn't have mentioned that.
46
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:53,260
How many of them
just like having a fag?
47
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:57,260
Mostly the ones who went to Eton.
48
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,100
LAUGHTER
49
00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:03,220
SCATTERED APPLAUSE
50
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,340
What are some of the arguments
against the smoking ban?
51
00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:09,900
One problem is going to be, isn't
it, when those what are kids now
52
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:14,900
get older and, like, one who's 45
can't smoke and his 46-year-old...
53
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:20,540
This is exactly.....twin brother,
or not quite.
54
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,780
Former Conservative Health
Secretary Sir Kenneth Clark,
55
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:24,580
later a director of
British American Tobacco,
56
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:27,300
argued that in years to come you'd
have the possibility of...
57
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:30,100
Oh, did Kenneth Clarke say that?
Yeah.
58
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,820
Oh, I don't agree with it, then.
59
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:38,020
LAUGHTER
60
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:40,900
It's a big public health debate,
you know, the banning of smoking,
61
00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:43,780
and on the one hand you have
Liz Truss, who's against it,
62
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:45,940
on the other hand
you have Chris Whitty.
63
00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:48,260
LAUGHTER
64
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:51,340
I just don't know who to believe.
Um...
65
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,180
What do you believe, Ian?
66
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:56,500
I believe they've identified
something that could make
67
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,900
health a lot better
and a lot cheaper
68
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:02,900
and Rishi Sunak's trying to do
something about it.
69
00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:05,740
And, you know, this really hurts
being pleasant
70
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:08,860
about the Prime Minister,
you've no idea...
71
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,940
..but I think it might be
a good idea.
72
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:15,300
And the rebellion was led by people
who want to be prime minister -
73
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,340
Kemi Badenoch, Penny Mordaunt.
74
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:19,700
Kemi Badenoch - I think
she was the only Cabinet minister
75
00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:22,820
to rebel against it, so she was
saying that she agrees with it
76
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,740
in principle, but she doesn't
like the execution,
77
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,660
and I think the phrase she said was,
78
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,820
"The road to hell is paved
with good intentions."
79
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,740
So I feel like we should trust her
80
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:35,740
cos she travels down it to get
to work every day.
81
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:39,380
But a lot of things that are quite
fun are also bad for our health.
82
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:40,420
Yeah, heroin.
Yeah.
83
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:44,020
Seat belts in cars. Yes.There was
a big fuss about that at the time.
84
00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:45,700
That was an infringement of
civil liberties
85
00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:48,020
to have a seat belt in a car.
86
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,420
Which individual thought car seats
in cars shouldn't be allowed?
87
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:51,460
Car seats?! For babies?
88
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,900
Children's car seats. Oh, I see.
89
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,980
Was that Rishi Sunak
cos he felt patronised?
90
00:04:56,020 --> 00:05:00,300
APPLAUSE
91
00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,740
Well, how long ago was it?
92
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:02,980
In 2006.
93
00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,140
It was Boris Johnson,
but then he didn't have
94
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,900
so many children then!
95
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,820
The new smoking bill will also
tackle vapes.
96
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,500
What are the plans for vapes?
97
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,180
Is it, like, to ban
disposable vapes?
98
00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:16,660
Yes, but also...
99
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:22,980
Broccoli or anchovy flavoured.
Oh, right.
100
00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:25,580
Can I add watermelon to
that as well? Oh!
101
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:28,860
My daughter made me try it
and it was...
102
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,740
Well, it was fruit, wasn't it?
It made me feel sick. Oh!
103
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:33,580
LAUGHTER
104
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:35,260
Staying with health,
105
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:38,340
what did staff at the Royal Stoke
Hospital do this week?
106
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,220
The answer is we don't know.
107
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:45,700
Yes. They made a banner declaring
that the hospital welcomes
108
00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:48,340
21 different genders
and sexualities.
109
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:49,780
Oh. 21? There they are.Wow.
110
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:51,500
I don't know
some of those countries.
111
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:52,900
LAUGHTER
112
00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:55,300
MUNYA:That's Zimbabwe at the end.
Yeah.
113
00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:59,140
Each of these 21 genders
has its own flag.
114
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:02,300
And why not? You know, now cancer's
been cured and everything.
115
00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:06,340
What's interesting
about the Conservative MP
116
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,500
for Fylde, Mark Menzies?
117
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:10,060
Nothing.
118
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,980
No, actually, there is,
isn't there? Yeah.Yes.
119
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,660
Didn't he get shut in a room
120
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:16,300
and he had to phone someone
at 3:00 in the morning
121
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:19,420
and say he was being held by some
bad men and he needed,
122
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:21,580
was it five grand?
£5,000, yeah. Five grand, yeah.
123
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:24,740
According to the Times, the MP rang
an elderly local party volunteer
124
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,940
at 3:15am last December saying
he was...
125
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:33,020
Yeah, I mean, it's
a repeated pattern.
126
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,700
And he really laid it on thick.
127
00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:36,380
He said it was medical bills
128
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:39,980
and he had no idea, you know,
how on earth he was going to escape.
129
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:42,260
And he asked for the money
from local donors
130
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,140
to be put into his own account.
131
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:48,300
You know, thank goodness he wasn't
fiddling his council tax
132
00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:51,820
for a small amount...then it would
be a proper scandal!
133
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:55,380
Last time he was in trouble, it
was for paying a Brazilian rent boy
134
00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:57,820
and asking him to buy drugs for him.
135
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:00,300
But it was a long time ago
and no-one cares.
136
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:05,300
He has also been accused of...
137
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,940
LAUGHTER
138
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:13,900
And...Yes? Oh, even worse for
music lovers -
139
00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:16,820
this is for Classic FM.
Actually, it's a bit interesting.
140
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:19,020
At the Last Night
of the Proms concert
141
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,620
featuring Katherine Jenkins...
I was going to tell you this!
142
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,740
It's not just you putting on a
record and waiting for three months!
143
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,660
I know, I get so used to it!
144
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:30,500
Your grasp of modern technology is
amazing - "putting on a record"!
145
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:38,980
I'm just saying, he got drunk
during Last Night of the Proms
146
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:41,620
and he had to get
the stewards to take him out.
147
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,300
I mean, it's not merely
poor behaviour,
148
00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:45,420
it was positively unpatriotic.
149
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,620
Yes.
PAUL CHUCKLES
150
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:47,860
Yes.Yes!
151
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:51,540
He turned up drunk and began...
152
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,060
He denied he was drunk
153
00:07:56,100 --> 00:08:00,100
and said he hadn't intentionally
poked anyone and...
154
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,940
Since the latest claims,
which he disputes,
155
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:06,780
Menzies has had the whip removed.
156
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,100
Ooh, I wouldn't fancy that job!
157
00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:14,820
The Tory party sat on this for three
months. Yes. Yes.
158
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,700
Not him, just... No.
159
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:20,260
He'd have paid good money for that,
wouldn't he?
160
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,940
What was the bad news
for Angela Rayner this week?
161
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,500
The police have got involved.
162
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:27,220
That's right, yes.
The police have...
163
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:31,140
..into the allegation that she has
broken tax and electoral laws.
164
00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:34,060
Who has been rearrested
north of the border?
165
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,460
Nicola Sturgeon's husband,
whose name escapes me.
166
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,500
Peter Murrell.Peter Murrell, yes.
167
00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:40,940
He's been charged...
He's been charged?
168
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,260
..with embezzlement.Yes.
169
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:45,060
AUDIENCE MURMUR, OOH
Oh! Yes.
170
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,100
Good noise!
171
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:48,300
Yes.
172
00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:51,660
Scottish police do something that
isn't arresting people online!
173
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,700
LAUGHTER
174
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:55,100
What's the Government been
playing with the House of Lords?
175
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,820
Parliamentary ping-pong.
176
00:08:57,860 --> 00:08:59,740
More precisely...
177
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:01,180
Oh, is that like French cricket?
178
00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:03,820
The House of Lords has repeatedly
sent back the Rwanda bill
179
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,980
to the Commons because it rejects
the Government's assertion
180
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:08,860
that it can simply pass a law
that says Rwanda is safe.
181
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:11,980
Rishi Sunak is reportedly trying to
do a similar deal with Costa Rica.
182
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:15,780
And Narnia!
183
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:21,420
Just step into this wardrobe.
184
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,340
Speaking of human rights,
you mentioned this earlier,
185
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,260
where else has freedom of speech
been curtailed?
186
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,060
Belgium! Yes, in Brussels.Brussels.
187
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,900
Belgian police tried to shut down a
European Conservatives conference.
188
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:32,580
Authorities in Belgium
would like to see such events banned
189
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:36,780
in case anything
interesting happens.
190
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:39,180
It is quite funny that Nigel Farage
is now complaining
191
00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:42,340
about not being allowed to go
to Brussels.
192
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,380
It sounds to me like they didn't
have much to talk about,
193
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,740
just a load of sort of
Belgian waffle.
194
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:56,980
Was there a notable absentee?
195
00:09:57,020 --> 00:09:58,660
Liz Truss. Liz Truss, absolutely.
196
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,300
Busy plugging her book...Yeah.
197
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,540
..Ten Years To Save The West.Yeah.
198
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:05,180
Would you like to see her
cleverly weaving this
199
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:07,220
into an interview on American TV?
200
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,260
Oh, yes, please. Yeah.
201
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:09,780
Great to see you.
202
00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,460
Your thoughts... Great to see you.
203
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,380
And here's my new book.
204
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:18,180
Yep. I'll just get that up...
205
00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:22,420
There you go.
206
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,140
Look at that man's expression,
though.Yeah.
207
00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:29,300
He just can't believe it.
208
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:32,540
Did the ten years start from
when she became prime minister?
209
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:35,180
I don't think we've extracted all
the fun out of this,
210
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,100
so shall we have a Big Liz Quiz?
211
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:38,140
Oh, yeah! Yes, yes!
212
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:38,300
OK, fingers on buzzers,
because here is the first question.
213
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,660
OK, fingers on buzzers,
because here is the first question.
214
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:46,780
What did Liz Truss say when,
on only her second day as PM,
215
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,380
she heard about the Queen's death?
216
00:10:48,420 --> 00:10:51,260
BELL RINGS
Yes, Ian and Munya?
217
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,580
The Queen died and she said,
"Why me?"
218
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:58,540
It's a question we've all asked.
219
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,340
Absolutely right.
220
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:02,980
What was the Queen's one
piece of advice to Liz Truss?
221
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,020
BELL RINGS
222
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,060
Was it "pace yourself"?
223
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,060
It is, absolutely right.
You're on fire.
224
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,300
Well, it's funny that that's the
exact same advice you'd give
225
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:15,300
to your unemployed alcoholic
uncle at Christmas.
226
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:18,500
LAUGHTER
227
00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:20,660
What did Liz Truss say was her
biggest problem
228
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:23,340
with TV leadership debates
with Rishi Sunak?
229
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,220
BUZZER
Yes?
230
00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:28,980
No idea, but I just wanted to press
my buzzer. Do you know?
231
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:30,020
Um...
232
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:31,220
She couldn't see him properly?
233
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:34,260
He was behind a table.
234
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:35,940
LAUGHTER
I don't know.
235
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:38,340
BELL RINGS
Her feet hurt!
236
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:42,020
Oh, Ian, you don't know it, do you?
237
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:44,460
Well, her biggest problem is
she doesn't listen to people,
238
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,500
which makes debate impossible.
239
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:50,500
That's not what she said.
240
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:54,220
She said she had never
debated on live TV before
241
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:57,820
and found it difficult to generate
energy, saying,...
242
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:03,420
We just get biscuits!
243
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:07,140
We only get biscuits!
244
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,340
What happened to the furniture
that Liz ordered
245
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:12,260
when she moved in to
10 Downing Street?
246
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,300
BELL RINGS
Ian?
247
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:15,700
You're being a bit obsessed
with Liz Truss, aren't you?
248
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:16,740
LAUGHTER
249
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,660
I think you've read her book,
haven't you?
250
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,780
How dare you?!
251
00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:25,220
Am I right?
You might be. Yeah.
252
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:27,540
She ordered a load of furniture,
253
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,660
but she didn't last long enough as
PM for it to be delivered.
254
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,500
Yeah.
255
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,260
Who, according to Liz Truss,
256
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,620
was to blame for financial
meltdown in 2022?
257
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,980
BUZZER
Paul?
258
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:45,780
The civil service, the Bank
of England, everybody but her.
259
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,860
Exactly right. Everyone except Liz.
Yeah.
260
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,740
She came up with the most brilliant
quote. She said,
261
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:56,740
"The problem for me was that there
were no experts on our side."
262
00:12:57,140 --> 00:13:00,020
Hmm...
263
00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:02,340
I wonder why that would be?
264
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:03,580
Actually, this quiz is lasting
265
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:07,420
longer than she was actually in
Downing Street!
266
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:10,300
Liz Truss has made a lot of enemies,
including her own handbag.
267
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:12,580
Have a look at this.
268
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:16,060
LAUGHTER
Oh, wow.
269
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:20,540
I'm afraid that is
the end of the Big Liz Quiz...
270
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:23,660
Oh! Oh! Oh! Too soon! We want more!
We want more!
271
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:24,700
APPLAUSE
272
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:28,180
Yes, this is Liz Truss
on the comeback trail.
273
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:31,060
With a general election on the
horizon, Liz Truss says she hopes
274
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:34,180
to remain an MP, and with a majority
of 26,000,
275
00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:39,180
you have to say...it's
touch-and-go.
276
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:40,860
Liz Truss described her second
277
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,420
and final meeting
with the Queen, saying...
278
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:50,300
I know, 49 days!
279
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:52,700
Rishi Sunak's ban on cigarettes
will have a profound effect
280
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,420
on children under the age of 15,
281
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:59,340
many of whom will have
to give up smoking.
282
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,020
Ian and Munya, take a look at this.
283
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:08,100
OK, this is Trump
at Fashion Week '24.
284
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:09,540
They're struggling to get the jury.
285
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:10,740
And then this is Trump
286
00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:13,540
with the classic black power symbol
for some reason.
287
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:16,180
OK, so I think he is the first
former US president
288
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,580
to be on criminal trial for
allegedly paying hush money
289
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:22,580
to pornstar Stormy Daniels.
290
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,260
They've been struggling
to get a jury
291
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,420
because people are struggling to be
impartial towards him.
292
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:28,340
That's exactly right.
Absolutely unprecedented event, yes.
293
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:31,140
A former US president on trial
for a criminal offence.
294
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:33,500
Unless he wins
the election in November,
295
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:37,180
and then, for the first time in
history, a current US president
296
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:40,100
will have gone on trial for
a criminal offence.
297
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:43,980
What's wrong with lying?
298
00:14:44,020 --> 00:14:46,860
If I got the chance to go on a jury
judging Trump
299
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,540
I would lie my head off...
LAUGHTER
300
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:51,180
..to do that cos it's going to
be spectacular, isn't it?
301
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:52,220
Yeah. Yeah.
302
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:55,140
Has anyone here done jury
service here?
303
00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:57,780
No, have you?I have. I had a lovely
time, actually,
304
00:14:57,820 --> 00:14:59,940
cos I got shepherded in
with about 40 people
305
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:04,460
and the accused saw me and went,
306
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,860
"I'm not having that fucking
Jo Brand on my jury!"
307
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:09,220
LAUGHTER
308
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:11,860
So you were excused.
Yeah, the judge asked me to leave.
309
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:14,980
"Oh, you'd better go."Yeah, it was
a really boring trial as well.
310
00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:17,380
I was delighted.
It was one of Ian's, wasn't it?
311
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:18,420
LAUGHTER
One of Ian's.
312
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:22,300
APPLAUSE
313
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:25,700
Trump is alleged to have had
a relationship
314
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:26,780
with another glamour model.
315
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:27,780
What was she called?
316
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:31,460
Liz Truss.
317
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:35,540
Something like Stormy Daniels,
so it's sort of a...
318
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,500
Weather Woman Tempest.
319
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,860
She's called Karen McDougal.
Oh.
320
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,220
She is a former
Playboy Playmate of the Month.
321
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,740
December '97, if memory serves.
322
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,620
LAUGHTER
323
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:54,220
96 potential jurors were introduced
to Donald Trump in court.
324
00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:57,580
And at least 50 of them then said
325
00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,460
it would be impossible to be
impartial and were allowed to leave.
326
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,580
Here is BBC's North America
editor Sarah Smith.
327
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:05,220
There were quite a few testy
arguments in the court room
328
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:09,180
this afternoon as Donald Trump's
lawyers
329
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:12,140
objected to some of the jurors.
One man was dismissed
330
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,780
when it turned out that
he had posted on Facebook back
331
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:17,660
when Donald Trump was president,
"Get him out and lock him up."
332
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,860
He's not on the jury.
333
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,100
LAUGHTER
334
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:23,580
What are the chances of Trump
ending up in jail?
335
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,300
Well, he did it,
so probably quite high.
336
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:30,380
I just said that to wake
the lawyer up.
337
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,300
Well, it's...
You know, he's guilty, isn't he?
338
00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:36,580
I'm glad you rephrased that.
339
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:40,220
But it doesn't matter, does it?
340
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,860
Because he has the same support
even if he's in jail.
341
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,380
So he can just campaign in
an orange suit. Yeah.
342
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:49,260
Will we see him?
343
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,780
Could someone that's actually
in jail be president from jail?
344
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,420
You can be. There's no rule
about that. Oh, you can?
345
00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:57,580
Yeah, they put you in the West Wing.
Yeah.
346
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:58,620
AUDIENCE GROANS
347
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:03,340
Thank you very much.
348
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,220
I would just like to point out
that when I perhaps inadvertently
349
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,900
suggested that he might possibly be
guilty,
350
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:10,060
I have no idea.
351
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:13,180
MOUTHS
352
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:16,900
APPLAUSE
353
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,500
Well, let us briefly turn
our thoughts to the Middle East
354
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,420
and the potential nuclear
destruction.
355
00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:28,060
How have events escalated?
Iran is now involved. Yes.
356
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,460
There were attempted strikes
357
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,060
although I think very few
got through.
358
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:35,540
Right, yes.They launched 300
missiles straight at Israel.
359
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,580
Drones, cruise and ballistic
missiles.
360
00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:40,340
And they were all taken out.
361
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:43,220
At which point, the Iranians said,
"That's it. Nothing more to see.
362
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,140
"That's the end of it.
Leave us alone."
363
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:47,860
Here is how BBC Radio 2
covered the news.
364
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:51,700
Lieutenant Colonel Peter Lerner
from the IDF
365
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:54,860
says Israel wouldn't shy away
from further confrontation.
366
00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:57,500
KOOL & THE GANG PLAYS LOUDLY
IN THE BACKGROUND
367
00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:01,500
Iran has proven in what it did last
night as it continues to be
368
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,900
a very, very substantial enemy
and a very reasoned strategic
369
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:05,100
orchestrator of attacks
against Israel.
370
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,260
LOUD MUSIC CONTINUES
371
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,260
And therefore, I would not say that
this is game over.
372
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:14,900
I would say absolutely...
MUSIC STOPS
373
00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:19,900
Lieutenant Colonel Peter Lerner
featuring Kool & The Gang.
374
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,700
Yes, this is the trial of former
president
375
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:28,700
and billionaire business
mogul Donald Trump
376
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,140
and the details of his
affair with a porn star
377
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,620
and a Playboy model.
Quite spicy,
378
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:38,220
but it's no Angela Rayner council
house capital gains tax scam.
379
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:41,620
So far, the list of confirmed
jurors includes...
380
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,980
Or, as they've now decided to call
themselves, Team Apex.
381
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:48,380
For their first task,
they have two days to create
382
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,180
and sell their own
brand of vegan muffins.
383
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,860
Radio 2 had an embarrassing moment
when they broadcast
384
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,980
Kool & The Gang over the top of
385
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:58,900
a statement from
the Israeli Defence League.
386
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:00,580
Neatly illustrating the problem
with nuclear weapons.
387
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:04,820
So easy to press the wrong button.
388
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:09,820
Oh, that's linked straight
to Tehran.
389
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:13,380
And so to Round 2
390
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,540
and it is time for the
strengtho-meter of news,
391
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,580
fingers on buzzers, teams.
392
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:20,860
BUZZER
393
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:23,500
This is a series of barcode dresses.
394
00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:27,020
When you walk into a supermarket,
you get...
395
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:30,100
You end up getting four packets
of yoghurt.
396
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,740
Packets of yoghurt? Tubs, milord.
397
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:37,740
I beg your pardon? Anyway...
398
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,820
Is it to do with the Olympics?
399
00:19:44,860 --> 00:19:47,700
Yes, it's the news that we are less
than 100 days away
400
00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,860
from the start of the Olympic Games
in Paris.
401
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:52,260
And the countdown was marked
in a very dramatic ceremony
402
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:54,180
in the ruins of Ancient Olympia
in Greece.
403
00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:55,620
Did anyone actually see it?Yes.
404
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:57,780
How was it?Did you?
It was very good.
405
00:19:57,820 --> 00:20:01,460
It was excellent.
406
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,580
Shall we have a quick look at some
of the highlights?Yes, please.
407
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,820
Refresh our memories.
HARP MUSIC
408
00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:13,660
SOPRANO SINGS
409
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:23,420
Where did they actually film that
dance from?
410
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,180
Well, it looks like Berkshire,
doesn't it?
411
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:27,740
I mean, I've never seen anywhere
more English.
412
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:32,020
It looks like a park outside
Swindon.
413
00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:33,700
There was one hiccup with
the ceremony.
414
00:20:33,740 --> 00:20:36,340
Does anyone know what that was?
Oh, the flame wouldn't flame.
415
00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:37,380
That's right.
416
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,820
According to the Guardian,
the weather was cloudy,
417
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:42,260
so the traditional method
of focusing the sun's rays
418
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,820
to light the torch didn't work.
419
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,740
And they had to use a backup flame.
420
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:48,300
What, a lighter?
421
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:50,780
I think one of the French
dignitaries had a fag.
422
00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:54,100
Just lit it off that.
423
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:56,980
The Olympic torch will now
set off on a 10,000 mile journey
424
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,660
through Greece, France
and its overseas territories
425
00:20:58,700 --> 00:20:59,860
for the next three months.
426
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,780
But what happens to the torch at
night?
427
00:21:01,820 --> 00:21:04,140
It goes to the pub.
428
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,140
Oh, it's guarded.
429
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:08,540
Well, the flame must always
remain alight throughout the relays.
430
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:10,700
So it rests in a special
cauldron overnight.
431
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:12,500
Like Suella Braverman does.
432
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:17,500
LAUGHTER
433
00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:20,700
Well, finally, from Ancient Greece
to Ancient Rome.
434
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:23,020
What has been found in
a hole in Italy?
435
00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:25,740
Oh, Pompeii, there's all
kinds of sort of wall paintings,
436
00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:27,700
a pizza, they think they've
discovered.
437
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:30,820
That's right.Various pictures of
animals and human beings.
438
00:21:30,860 --> 00:21:33,460
It's a great discovery
so everybody is very excited by it.
439
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:36,660
And they've found two new pictures.
440
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:39,340
They have. Exquisitely preserved as
well.Yeah!
441
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:41,500
Let's have a look.
We have Helen of Troy.
442
00:21:41,540 --> 00:21:43,660
That dog looks a bit worried,
though, doesn't it?
443
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:47,300
He's got a feeling there's going to
be an eruption in the volcano.
444
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,700
And here is an Apollo mural.
445
00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:52,380
That's with Cassandra. Yeah.
446
00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:53,820
Have you seen my plectrum?
447
00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:57,020
LAUGHTER
448
00:21:57,060 --> 00:22:01,700
But she turned him down.
Yeah. Well, I'm not surprised.
449
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,340
This is the news that
the Olympic torch has been lit
450
00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:06,500
and will soon be
making its way to France.
451
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:08,900
Thousands of British policemen will
travel to Paris to support
452
00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,340
the security operation
surrounding the games.
453
00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:13,060
It will make the streets safer...
454
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,820
..for women walking around London.
455
00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:18,420
AUDIENCE:Ohhhh!
456
00:22:19,220 --> 00:22:21,820
The picture on the wall uncovered
in Pompeii seems to depict
457
00:22:21,860 --> 00:22:23,500
an ancient Roman pizza.Yeah.
458
00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:26,500
The theory was lent weight
459
00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:30,580
when a papyrus delivery leaflet
was also unearthed...
460
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:31,620
..headed Dominus.
461
00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:33,100
Fingers on buzzers...
That deserved more.
462
00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,940
I think it did.Yeah. Yes.
463
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:40,940
Dominus.
464
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:43,700
IRONIC CHEERING
465
00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:45,860
It deserved more,
but that was too much. Yeah.
466
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:48,380
Fingers on buzzers...
467
00:22:48,420 --> 00:22:49,460
BELL
468
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:53,940
Oh, yes. Ian and Munya.
469
00:22:53,980 --> 00:22:58,340
Apparently, Gen Z are trying
to introduce anti-wrinkle straws.
470
00:22:58,380 --> 00:23:03,340
Gen Z, is she a popular artist?
471
00:23:05,940 --> 00:23:07,820
This is so that you just don't
get...
472
00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:09,820
You don't...
473
00:23:09,860 --> 00:23:11,740
These treacherous muscles here
that do terrible things.
474
00:23:11,780 --> 00:23:15,820
You don't end up looking like one
of those tea-towel holders.
475
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:16,860
LAUGHTER
476
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:18,780
That's absolutely right.
Well, let's have a look.
477
00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:21,660
We have a picture of a woman here,
there we go.
478
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:24,780
There is a Gen Z, they force sippers
to drink from the side
479
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:26,220
avoiding pursing or straining
the lips
480
00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:27,420
and supposedly preventing
perioral wrinkles.
481
00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:32,420
I was at school with someone
called Perioral Wrinkles.
482
00:23:33,740 --> 00:23:36,300
He is now doing very well
in the Department of Agriculture
483
00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:39,060
and Fisheries, isn't he?
Doing very well.
484
00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:41,100
Aesthetic expert Dr Daniel Hunt
told the Telegraph...
485
00:23:41,140 --> 00:23:43,820
So, yes, I'm going to demonstrate
one.
486
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:48,820
I have one right here, look at that.
487
00:23:51,220 --> 00:23:56,180
Beautiful. Beautiful thing.
Made of glass.Yes.
488
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:03,020
You look ridiculous.
It's the last word in elegance.
489
00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:04,940
Jo, I've got one for you as well.
490
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:08,900
Fuck off! Will you have a go?
491
00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,780
Do you want to have a go?
I'll have a go, yeah.
492
00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:15,380
There you are.
I'll have a go.
493
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:20,340
You do look as though you are...
The problem is the thing.
494
00:24:20,380 --> 00:24:24,740
It's the Kia-Ora that I'm not
really enjoying.
495
00:24:26,980 --> 00:24:29,900
The straw is great.
496
00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:32,540
This is the news that Gen Z have
adopted anti-wrinkle straws
497
00:24:32,580 --> 00:24:34,460
in their ongoing battle to
slow down ageing.
498
00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:37,300
According to the Mail,
to prevent wrinkle lines,
499
00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:40,660
Gen Z are trying not to...
500
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:46,420
Although mention JK Rowling
and see what happens.
501
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:48,780
It can be a bit confusing
identifying all these
502
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:50,220
different generations,
the Gen Zees...Zed.
503
00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:51,660
..Millennials, Gen X,
504
00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:53,580
Boomers and then of course
we've got Ian
505
00:24:53,620 --> 00:24:56,260
who I believe is Jacobean.
506
00:25:01,660 --> 00:25:03,300
Time now for the Missing Words Round
507
00:25:03,340 --> 00:25:04,340
and we start with...
508
00:25:04,380 --> 00:25:06,500
What once spent an hour
and a half, what?
509
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:11,500
Liz Truss as Prime Minister.
510
00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:18,700
In an interview this week,
fashion icon Twiggy revealed
511
00:25:18,740 --> 00:25:21,100
she once got her arm trapped
in a vending machine
512
00:25:21,140 --> 00:25:22,140
at Brighton train station
513
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:24,660
while trying to retrieve
a chocolate bar from inside.
514
00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:29,340
Unfortunately, we haven't got any
photos of the traumatic incident,
515
00:25:29,380 --> 00:25:33,860
because, in those days, people
actually gathered around TO HELP.
516
00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:39,700
Twiggy said she could actually
see the Twix bar
517
00:25:39,740 --> 00:25:42,340
she was trying to retrieve
518
00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:44,900
and because skirts were so short
in those days,
519
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:49,900
passers-by may even have caught
a glimpse of Curly Wurly.
520
00:25:53,140 --> 00:25:56,580
Next...I don't think we've
got over the last one yet.
521
00:25:56,620 --> 00:26:00,700
What pictured looking furious after
rescue by fire brigade?
522
00:26:00,740 --> 00:26:02,620
It's got to be a cat, isn't it?
523
00:26:02,660 --> 00:26:04,180
A cat looking really furious.
524
00:26:04,220 --> 00:26:06,820
It is "cat in Lancashire".
525
00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:09,500
The cat in question got
stuck between two walls
526
00:26:09,540 --> 00:26:11,900
and had to be chiselled out
by the fire brigade.
527
00:26:11,940 --> 00:26:13,940
Here it is after being freed.
528
00:26:18,220 --> 00:26:19,220
He's not happy.
529
00:26:19,260 --> 00:26:20,660
What do you expect in Lancashire?
530
00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:23,300
If you want a cat with
a smile on his face,
531
00:26:23,340 --> 00:26:25,340
everyone knows you've got to
go to Cheshire.
532
00:26:25,380 --> 00:26:26,500
AUDIENCE GROANS AND APPLAUDS
533
00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:29,900
You send a mixed message
when you groan and then clap.
534
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:32,300
Finally, tiny ladders, what?
535
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:34,540
Infuriate firemen with big feet.
536
00:26:34,580 --> 00:26:37,660
LAUGHTER
537
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:42,660
To give evidence after
Stormy Daniels.
538
00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:51,060
APPLAUSE
539
00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:54,420
Oh, that's nice.
Here they are.
540
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:56,900
There we are.
According to the Times...
541
00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:05,620
Making it the biggest piece
of UK infrastructure
542
00:27:05,660 --> 00:27:08,740
completed under the current
government.
543
00:27:08,780 --> 00:27:11,140
So the final scores are
Paul and Jo on eight,
544
00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:13,140
Ian and Munya on nine.
545
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:14,820
We did it! Yay! Because of you.
546
00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:17,980
JO: Oh, well.
547
00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:20,900
But before we go, there is just
time for the caption competition.
548
00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:23,540
Oh, right, now, the elephant
on the right has been looking,
549
00:27:23,580 --> 00:27:26,620
saying, "OK, mate, you distract him
while I kick him up the arse."
550
00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,620
LAUGHTER
551
00:27:29,740 --> 00:27:31,740
Is the elephant saying,
"Have you got anything in a sandal?"
552
00:27:37,940 --> 00:27:40,260
On which note we say thank you to
our panellists,
553
00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:41,540
Ian Hislop and Munya Chawawa,
554
00:27:41,580 --> 00:27:44,180
Paul Merton and Jo Brand
and I leave you with news
555
00:27:44,220 --> 00:27:46,100
that at a seniors golf competition
in Florida,
556
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:47,140
one contestant claims victory
557
00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:50,060
despite having left his golf club
at home.
558
00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:53,140
LAUGHTER
559
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,060
Viewers of Channel 5's
GP Behind Closed Doors
560
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,940
are shocked as a man reveals
his badly swollen testicle.
561
00:27:58,980 --> 00:28:02,420
LAUGHTER
562
00:28:06,860 --> 00:28:08,940
And at a government meeting
on levelling up,
563
00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:11,260
one minister denies a lack of focus
564
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:12,980
as he finds himself thinking about
565
00:28:13,020 --> 00:28:14,620
the new fabric for his
bedroom carpet.
566
00:28:14,660 --> 00:28:16,380
LAUGHTER
567
00:28:19,060 --> 00:28:20,060
Goodnight.
568
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:23,620
APPLAUSE