1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,800 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:29,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 3 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,160 Good evening! 4 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,920 Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News For You. 5 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,760 I'm Roy Wood Jr and I usually host the American version of this show, 6 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,880 but I'm here this week seeking asylum. 7 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,640 In the news this week - 8 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,640 outside a Wendy's in San Francisco, 9 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,440 there's an embarrassing moment as two people realise 10 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,240 they're both up for the same job. 11 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,160 In Washington, one man learns 12 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,920 his work nemesis won't get the promotion she was hoping for. 13 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,480 And at UK border checks, 14 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,760 one American chicken importer 15 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,680 denies their birds have been injected with steroids. 16 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,800 On Ian's team tonight, a comedian who once took a trip to Las Vegas 17 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,360 and says she was blown away by America's sunny positivity. 18 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,120 Wow, that trip must have been a long time ago. 19 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,520 Please welcome Roisin Conaty. 20 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,520 On Paul's team tonight, an author and broadcaster who was awarded 22 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,240 a world record for naming the most capital cities in a minute. 23 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,520 Impressive. 24 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,040 Most Americans wouldn't even know 25 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,880 that England was the capital of London. 26 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,360 Please welcome Richard Osman. 27 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 28 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,280 We begin with the bigger news stories of the week. 29 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,080 Ian and Roisin, have a look at this. 30 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,160 Ooh! 31 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:16,640 Yeah, Village People. 32 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,240 And there's the idiot. 33 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,000 There's the loser. 34 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,120 Well, this is the shock news to everyone 35 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,560 who'd been telling us for weeks it was neck and neck, 36 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,800 and it wasn't at all. No. 37 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,280 "Right, you're deported." 38 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:34,560 There's the face of a man who's won without cheating. 39 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,560 Yeah. And he couldn't believe it. 40 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,720 Yes, that's correct. That is the historic US election 41 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,680 which has put the first woman in the White... Hang on. 42 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,840 Let me redo that. 43 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,520 The historic US election which has put the first 44 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,560 convicted felon in the White House. Yeah. 45 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,440 I like the idea that last time he complained, but this time 46 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,760 it wasn't rigged! 47 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,440 No. It's funny, that, because the Democrats obviously 48 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,520 didn't bother to rig it this time. Yeah, nice and smooth. 49 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,360 I'd like to see the Democrats' version 50 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,400 of storming the Capitol, though. Yeah. They would... Everyone would 51 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,360 have little wicker baskets. 52 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,520 They'd all be listening to podcasts on the way. 53 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,480 "Make sure you pack a lunch!" 54 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,840 The American way of dealing with Trump is, like, he obviously 55 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,320 should have been disqualified for January 6th, but instead 56 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,840 they let him run and just put a ring of steel around the Capitol. 57 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,320 And that's why they deal with gun control. 58 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,920 Like, they have shootings in schools. 59 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,680 They could get rid of guns, but they just put checkpoints in schools. 60 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,200 It's mad! They're going to do that. 61 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,800 They're going to get rid of schools. 62 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,480 That's the problem. Schools! That's the problem. 63 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,720 What has the press reaction been like? 64 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,640 I don't know, I haven't seen a paper for years. 65 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,360 Do you know, Ian...? 66 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,120 Largely, the Tory press were thrilled, 67 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,440 because they'd hoped it was going to be Trump. 68 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,720 There were headlines like, 69 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,880 "Trump gives hope 70 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,920 "to the Conservative Party." 71 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,880 And so, there's a feeling that the right will triumph again 72 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,480 everywhere and possibly here. 73 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,360 The German newspaper Die Zeit best summed it up. 74 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,280 LAUGHTER 75 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,440 Why do the polls always get it so wrong? 76 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,240 It's not the polls that are the problem, it's the Americans, Roy. 77 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,600 Maybe people are reluctant to say how they're going to vote 78 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,360 if they're sort of going to vote for Trump, 79 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,280 don't want to admit it in public, but then go ahead 80 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,720 and vote for him in private, I don't know. 81 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,160 But we always think pollsters don't bring their own prejudices 82 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,240 to the polls, they're somehow magically independent. 83 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,200 They're not. And, repeatedly, I mean, we saw it in Brexit 84 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,160 and we've had it lots of times - 85 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,320 people sort of believe what they want to. 86 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,680 And who they asked as well. 87 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,440 It's like who they... People kept saying "shy fascists". 88 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,240 Like, I don't... Shy fascists?! 89 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,280 Tiptoeing into Czechoslovakia... 90 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,280 "Don't look at me! I'm a shy fascist!" 91 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,600 A lot of people seem reluctant to admit they supported Trump. 92 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,960 Even Republicans in the state of Georgia claimed 93 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,760 to not be that impressed with the candidate 94 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,160 in the build-up to the election. Have a look at this. 95 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,480 Who are you going to vote for? 96 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,680 The right person. 97 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,480 Well, who do you think the right person will be? 98 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,560 It won't be Donald Trump. OK, tell me why. 99 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,360 Last time you saw him talking, did you watch his lips? 100 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,840 Uh-huh. Were they moving? 101 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,040 Uh-huh. He's lying. 102 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,360 That man was lying. You could just tell by the way he was talking. 103 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,880 He's got a fresh Klan robe in the closet. 104 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,560 Neatly pressed. 105 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,280 We've got slightly different libel laws over here... 106 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,760 Just mentioning it early. 107 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:34,960 I'll visit you. 108 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,640 No, no, he didn't... 109 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,040 Roy didn't say he was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. 110 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,400 He just said he liked the uniform. Indeed. 111 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,760 OK, then, let me take it back. 112 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,320 I guarantee you that man has a white sheet in his house somewhere. 113 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,800 That he may or may not wear at night to scare minorities. 114 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:58,040 There was also a lot of political heroes in the American election. 115 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,320 How did Peanut here become a symbol 116 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,800 of Republican criticism of the government? 117 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,440 I can guarantee you that squirrel got a white sheet in his closet. 118 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,520 Yeah. 119 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,320 You can see it in his eyes. 120 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,080 I don't like that hat. No. You're safe there. 121 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,840 Well, Peanut the squirrel, there was a suggestion 122 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,080 that he might have rabies. 123 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,160 And you can only test for rabies once the animal is dead, apparently. 124 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,360 So they killed him and then said, "No, he hasn't got rabies. 125 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,360 "Here's your squirrel back in a jiffy bag." 126 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,000 He was living in a house with a man. 127 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,120 Oh, was it? Well, listen, I'm not judging. 128 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,520 Illegally. Yeah, they were together. 129 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,640 Not like that, but they were. 130 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,520 - Who knows? - Who knows? 131 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,480 He got rabies somehow. Yeah. 132 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,200 Bury his nuts every autumn. 133 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,200 Peanut was living in a house 134 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,920 and according to the New York Times, a warrant was issued to seize him, 135 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,480 and when they came to pick him up... 136 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,760 So they euthanised him to test for rabies, 137 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,840 and you're correct, he did not have rabies. 138 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,480 But maybe if Peanut the squirrel had just complied 139 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,080 with the authorities' orders... 140 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,720 Yeah. Yeah. 141 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,280 Do you think they'll try this with Prince Andrew 142 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,760 when they try and evict him? 143 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,680 What, in case he's got rabies? 144 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,160 Worth a go, innit? 145 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,280 Trump won a huge share of independent voters. 146 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,760 What is it about Trump that they like? 147 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,080 The last question in all the rallies was, you know, 148 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,440 "Would you like not to be poorer?" 149 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,360 And that's a fairly binary vote, 150 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,120 and in the end, more people thought, "Yeah." 151 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,480 It's always the question everywhere, 152 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,880 and it's always either are you poorer, 153 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,440 are the dice loaded against you because of your next-door neighbour, 154 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,560 or are the dice loaded against you because of billionaires? 155 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,920 And billionaires in the last few years have been very clever 156 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,280 at saying it's your next-door neighbour, 157 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,880 and that's what Trump has cleverly done. 158 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,480 But I think they've made 64 billion, the ten richest people in the world, 159 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,680 since he got elected - just in one day. 64 billion. 160 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,800 That's Elon Musk, that's Jeff Bezos, 161 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,520 that's Gary Lineker, all of them. 162 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,520 APPLAUSE 163 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,120 Did any of the coverage stand out for you all? 164 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,360 I mean, I know it's been a day or two since the election. 165 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,760 I know some of them... We had amazing coverage in Britain. 166 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,720 Did we? Yeah, we had Boris Johnson 167 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,920 on Channel 4. 168 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,160 With Stormy Daniels. With Stormy Daniels. 169 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,720 There's an interesting pairing. Yeah. 170 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,680 At the end he's going, "We actually just need one cab 171 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,600 "at the end of the evening. We're fine." 172 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,560 Here he is talking about an issue close to his heart. 173 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,520 The lizard part of you wanted Trump to win. Yeah. 174 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,880 Is the lizard part back this time around? 175 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,640 Well, look, you know, as I say in my...in my book Unleashed... 176 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:38,280 Stop it. No more plugs! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Enough. 177 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,800 No, no, no. There's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. 178 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,560 LAUGHTER 179 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:43,840 Let's just say it's a lie. I... 180 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,280 Come on, it's so cheap. Put it away. 181 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,320 Well, look here... Not the book, but I mean, you know. 182 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,760 Here we go. Unfortunately. 183 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,560 I'm allowed to plug my book. 184 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,680 Wow. 185 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,360 Oh, what a grubby little div! 186 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,440 LAUGHTER 187 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,160 Oh, my God! 188 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,600 I was literally just about to get mine, but I won't now! 189 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,560 Amazon went big on their election show with Brian Williams. 190 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,080 Have a look at what Amazon did. 191 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,320 For the historic night, 192 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,520 we have decided to put ourselves in the middle of America. 193 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,240 There you go. Something close to the middle of the country. 194 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,800 Wow. Yeah. 195 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,400 That would be a shopping centre in Rugby for us. 196 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,920 Although I have to say, the way they positioned Brian Williams' desk 197 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,920 made it seem like he was going to get run over by a truck 198 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,200 at some point. 199 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,280 LAUGHTER 200 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,560 Oh, that's very stressful! 201 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:50,280 Why are you in the middle of the road, Brian Williams? 202 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,080 With Trump's election, 203 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,600 what's Keir Starmer rushed to do? 204 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,360 Phoned him. Ring him up. Congratulate him. "Well done." 205 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,760 To make sure that we keep that special relationship going 206 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,520 that only the British are aware of. 207 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,800 Keir tweeted on Wednesday morning... 208 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,080 IMITATES KEIR STARMER BADLY 209 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,800 Wow. Has Dick Van Dyke come into the studio? 210 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,320 I don't know why that sounded Australian. My bad. 211 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,680 It's like he's in the room! 212 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,120 Blimey, Mary Poppins! 213 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,040 Here's Trump acknowledging that special relationship. 214 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,560 He was the big winner of the last election in the UK 215 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:32,200 and he's a very spectacular man, 216 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,400 very highly respected. 217 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,280 Nigel Farage. 218 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,560 CHEERING 219 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,840 Wow. Oh, he's got that salute right at last. 220 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:50,120 It's an amazing shot there of Clacton, isn't there? 221 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,200 Who else had to eat some Trump humble pie after election day? 222 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,440 - Oh, my God. - Oh, David Lammy. 223 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,240 He said he was a fascist and he was... What else? 224 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,720 Yeah, yeah. He used the words KKK about him. 225 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,320 Yes, he did, that as well. 226 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,080 Foreign Secretary David Lammy, who said... 227 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,800 Wait, I'm sorry, that's from 2017. 228 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,960 Let me find the one. 229 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,200 Here's what he said this week. 230 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,200 Now, see, that's where you go too far. 231 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,000 Nobody's looking forward to working with JD Vance. 232 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,320 Now, who from the UK 233 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,280 did have strong words for Trump? 234 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,560 Liz Truss? No, not Liz. 235 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,880 Who's that? No, I don't know. 236 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,960 Google her. Google her. Google her. 237 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,440 It was Lib Dem leader Ed Davey, who said... 238 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,520 Davey completed the statement, 239 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,040 then inflated his rubber ring 240 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,560 and jumped down a water slide. 241 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,320 Roy, do you understand that punch line or did you just trust it? 242 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,080 They showed me the picture of him. Ah, OK. 243 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,800 And I'm like, "That is a policy maker?!" 244 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,760 I mean, yeah... OK. 245 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:19,320 Incidentally, what did Putin release this week? 246 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,680 A fragrance? 247 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,600 Elon's Musk. 248 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,400 Elon's Musk! That's a good one. 249 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,480 Yeah, I like that. 250 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,440 It's called Crimea River. 251 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,800 Ooh, that's very good! Oh, very nice. Took me a minute. 252 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,880 We should brainstorm perfumes. Yeah, absolutely. 253 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,800 What are we doing here? Well, you know the phone's listening to us. 254 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,520 Stop giving away the money for free. 255 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,560 Roy, not only is a phone listening to us, 256 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,440 we are literally on television. 257 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,200 LAUGHTER 258 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,600 AUDIENCE CHEERS 259 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:02,120 Uh, what Putin released...was the FSB annual calendar, 260 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,640 which this year... Ah, yeah! ..features Putin with his new BFF, 261 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,640 President Xi of China. 262 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,800 Here they are on the calendar. 263 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,280 LAUGHTER 264 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,600 I don't know if you heard that, but when you said it, 265 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,800 Ian went, "Oh, yeah!" 266 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,040 Like it was something... Yeah. ..that you were anticipating. 267 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,880 The Putin calendar is usually topless. Oh, it's a shame... 268 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,200 Yeah, and I was sort of... I was hoping, but it... 269 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,120 Oh, you was hoping, like, the topless on a horse? Yeah. 270 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,720 And not the Vin Diesel, Fast And Furious... Yeah. Wow! 271 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,960 This is the happy news that Donald Trump has accepted 272 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,200 the election result. 273 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,440 It's estimated that Trump's mass deportation plans 274 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,680 could cost around... 275 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,680 Which is still less than what the Democrats spent 276 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,000 on booking Beyonce. 277 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,120 During his campaign, Trump repeatedly announced his intention 278 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,160 to fight what he described as... 279 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,960 Which in his case is cholesterol. 280 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,320 Paul and Richard, take a look at this. 281 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,760 Yeah. 282 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,400 Is this Kemi Badenoch? 283 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,760 She's become the new Tory leader. 284 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,760 And she was on the Laura Kuenssberg show and she was being questioned 285 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,880 and she said, "I'm not here to win a popularity contest." 286 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,600 Which seemed to be misjudging the job position 287 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,720 that she's going to be fighting for in a few years. 288 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,880 Um, yeah. So she's the new leader, 289 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,320 the new leader of the Conservative Party. 290 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,120 Kemi beat her rival, Robert Jenrick, by 10,000 votes in the election. 291 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,960 Now, how did she beat him? 292 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,600 Well, Robert Jenrick is like... Is he boring? Yeah. 293 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,320 When he's on TV, I always have to check with someone to make sure 294 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,920 they're also seeing him. 295 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:38,280 It was like running against a mist, essentially. 296 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,240 I think that dead squirrel might have beaten him. 297 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,680 Well, nonetheless, his wife was there at the count 298 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,960 to support her losing-ass husband, 299 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,720 um, and to also supportively applaud the winner. 300 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,040 Take a look. 301 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,440 Very good. 302 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,280 Now, I don't want to get sued because of your laws over here, 303 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,240 but is it polite to guess what drug somebody are on? 304 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,320 No, that's all right. You can guess. 305 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,200 Yeah, no, you can do that. And then we will come and visit you. 306 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,560 Yeah. 307 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,800 Kemi's parents were a doctor and an academic. 308 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:25,200 But how, according to her, did she become working-class? 309 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,640 Oh, she had a Saturday job somewhere. 310 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,240 McDonald's. McDonald's, yeah, she got a Saturday job, 311 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,440 and then she went working-class. 312 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,560 When she got in there, it turned her working-class. 313 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,560 She arrived in a carriage and then got in there 314 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,160 and had a couple of fries and was all like, "'Ello, love." 315 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,480 That's awfully good. That's better than his chim-chiminey. 316 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,520 We'll see about that. 317 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,720 I'll try again later. 318 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,640 Americans, I think, have a certain image of British people, right? 319 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,520 And I think there's that big Harry Potter thing as well. 320 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,480 And it's not helped by the fact that the five leading candidates 321 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:04,080 for the Tory party election were called Badenoch, Jenrick, 322 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,320 Tugendhat, Cleverly and Stride. 323 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,520 - Wow, a real... - All of whom could have been 324 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,680 Harry Potter professors. Yeah. 325 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,720 Or houses! 326 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,760 You can imagine the sorting hat coming out. 327 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,400 "You're in Badenoch." "Oh, no!" 328 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,000 "No!" 329 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,600 The sorting hat in Harry Potter was very creepy. 330 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,040 Yeah. Listen, I... Good film. 331 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,560 But that hat, I didn't like that. I turned away. 332 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,960 LAUGHTER 333 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,760 They've, uh... I think they've done a book of the film as well. 334 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,240 I'll look into that. 335 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,760 What did your Boris Johnson say that Kemi Badenoch would... 336 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,080 He's not MY Boris Johnson! 337 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,560 Well, I'm sorry for making eye contact with you. 338 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,880 What did your Boris Johnson say 339 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,760 Kemi Badenoch would bring to the party? 340 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,440 A couple of crates. 341 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,040 Yeah. He said... 342 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,040 Which are a couple of girls he met on holiday. 343 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,760 And Keir Starmer also said that Kemi's election as the first 344 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,800 black female leader of a major political party was... 345 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:18,440 Although Labour MP Dawn Butler was a lot less enthused. 346 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,640 What did Dawn do? 347 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,360 Oh, it was... She accused her of being a white person in blackface, 348 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,280 or something like that? Yes, it's the fury of the left 349 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,920 when someone who's black doesn't vote for Labour. 350 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,960 Um, and it made her very, very cross. 351 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,200 So she retweeted, I think, someone else. Right. 352 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,600 Although now Elon Musk will sue you for saying "tweeted" as well, 353 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,920 because I think it's "X'd". She X'd. 354 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,840 She liked some words on a website. Can I say that legally? 355 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,520 Yeah. Does that not get me sued? 356 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,200 Yeah, you're fine with that. 357 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,320 Shit, y'all be hatin' so hard! 358 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,880 Now, explain to me, if you all can, why the Labour Party 359 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:58,120 has never had a non-white or female leader. 360 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,280 I think they assume they will have the support of minorities, 361 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,120 who then don't necessarily give them that support. 362 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,520 That's what happened in the American election as well. 363 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,280 And I think that's a mistake. 364 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,640 I know, and the Tories have had 365 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,360 four female leaders, two non-white leaders. 366 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,440 I mean, they've had an awful lot more leaders, 367 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,840 I'll give them that, but... 368 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,600 But it does seem suspicious. 369 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,600 What do people say is Kemi Badenoch's flaw? 370 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,160 She can pick a fight 371 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,400 in a paper bag with herself. 372 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,160 According to Tim Stanley in the Telegraph... 373 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,960 Oh, don't listen to him. He's an idiot. Yeah! 374 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,200 That's not libellous. That's true. 375 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,320 Yeah, I've got medical records that prove it. 376 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,200 According to Tim Stanley in the Telegraph... 377 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,920 AUDIENCE GROANS 378 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,280 Do you recognise yourself in that description, Ian? 379 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,040 No! 380 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,480 I do. 381 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,160 Y'all freaky as hell, apparently. 382 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,240 Now, some news about appalling standards of behaviour 383 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,760 in your House of Commons. Yes. 384 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,440 What did Labour MP Steve Witherden do in the Chamber 385 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,400 to earn a public reprimand? 386 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,760 Oh, he didn't, did he? Oh! 387 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,920 No, he drank some milk. Out of what? 388 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,080 Out of a cow. 389 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,640 According to the Mail On Sunday, he was... 390 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,600 His rejoinder was that he would not be... 391 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,920 Zing! APPLAUSE 392 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,000 Wow! "I would not be ashamed!" 393 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,840 He accused the Speaker of being lactose intolerant. Yes. 394 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,480 That's the difference between us and America. 395 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,160 In America, they try to hang Mike Pence. 396 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,400 Here, we've got an MP drinking out of a carton of milk. 397 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,920 And that makes the headlines! 398 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:09,200 This is Kemi Badenoch becoming leader of the Conservative Party. 399 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,120 According to the Times, Kemi Badenoch is the fourth female 400 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,240 Tory leader after... 401 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,640 So, whatever she does, she can't ever be the worst. 402 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,840 Kemi Badenoch's first government role was 403 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,480 when Boris Johnson made her... 404 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,040 A really busy department, thanks to him! 405 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,000 Yeah, we know about Boris Johnson and the kids. We know about Boris. 406 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,440 We call him Stupid Trump. 407 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,680 APPLAUSE 408 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,120 And so to round two and, because I love your quaint little 409 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:54,040 country with its amusing local stories, it's time for... 410 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,040 Fingers on buzzers, teams. 411 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,840 BUZZER 412 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,680 This is... I did see this. 413 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,440 It's the M1's anniversary, 65 years. 414 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,080 So, next year it'll be able to claim a pension. 415 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,120 That is correct. 416 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:16,520 This is the news that the M1 motorway is 65 years old. 417 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,360 Happy birthday, M1! 418 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:23,280 Celebration by Kool & The Gang 419 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,120 APPLAUSE 420 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,120 Yeah! 421 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,840 Celebrating the birthday of a... Of a road! 422 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,400 Y'all remember where you were in 1959 when the old M1 got laid out? 423 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,280 Ian, where were you in '59? I wasn't born. 424 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,920 If you say so! 425 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,960 If it's 65, they should let buses use it for free. 426 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,360 How did they celebrate the birth of this road in 1959? 427 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:59,240 I think the Queen opened it, didn't she? Yes, yes. 428 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,680 I seem to remember Pathe black-and-white imagery of sort of, 429 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,480 "And here's the Queen, opening up the M1, 430 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,720 "which promises to get people from London to Leeds in no time at all." 431 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,000 APPLAUSE 432 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,160 Something like that. Pretty good. 433 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,920 That's how you do the accent. That's how you do it. 434 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,960 "And here comes Mary Poppins on a broomstick." 435 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,000 LAUGHTER 436 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,040 Now, that was 1959. Yes. 437 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:24,240 How has the M1 changed since it opened 65 years ago? 438 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,280 Extra lanes. 439 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,960 Got more conservative. Yeah. 440 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,800 LAUGHTER 441 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,000 It used to have a 24-hour restaurant 442 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,240 at Watford Gap Services, which used 443 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,440 to get so rowdy with touring pop stars like The Beatles 444 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,440 and The Rolling Stones that... 445 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,200 Here's the Watford Gap. Here's a picture. 446 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,160 To be fair, I think Jimi Hendrix mistook a lot of things 447 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,320 for a nightclub. Yeah. 448 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,920 Would you all like to see one of the original adverts? 449 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,480 Yes, please! Oh, yes. 450 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,480 The London-Birmingham motorway, first of its kind in Britain, 451 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,240 will open for traffic on November 2nd, barring unforeseen delays. 452 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,040 Its many wonders include, near Luton, a high retaining wall, 453 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,640 16 feet wide at the base. 454 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,840 APPLAUSE 455 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,320 A 16-foot retaining wall outside Luton? 456 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,000 Yeah, bitch, we got a road! 457 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,320 While we're on the subject of roads, 458 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,240 we're going to play a game called Name That Road. Oh, fantastic! 459 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,320 Are you ready? Yeah, absolutely. OK. Here's your first one. 460 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,400 Which road links Catthorpe Interchange in Leicestershire 461 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,320 with the port of Felix... 462 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:34,360 What the fuck w...? 463 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,080 With the port of Felixstowe in Suffolk? 464 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,280 Sorry, can you say that again? 465 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,560 Yeah, so we were distracted 466 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,640 by someone walking out at the thought of a road. 467 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:43,960 Yeah. 468 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,560 "Right, you're taking the piss out of the M1. I'm off!" 469 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,960 "Americans coming over here, knocking our roads? I'm off!" 470 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,200 Tried to say those cities as best I could. Yeah. 471 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,720 Say them again, Roy, but maybe use our accent. 472 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,880 Imagine Dick Van Dyke were here. OK. Here is your first one. 473 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,200 Which road links the Catthorpe Interchange... 474 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:13,040 ..in Leicestershire with the port of Felixstowe in Suffolk? 475 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,800 APPLAUSE 476 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,600 BUZZER 477 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,120 Well, that's a tough... 478 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,200 That's a tough question there, Roy. I have no idea. 479 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,600 You'd better tell us. 480 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,880 It's the A14. God, I love that road! 481 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,160 That's my favourite road! Next road. 482 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,520 It begins just outside Bedford 483 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,720 and passes hidden in the hedges in Flyford Flavell 484 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,720 on its way to Upton Snodsbury near Worcestershire. 485 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,360 What words are y'all putting...?! 486 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,440 These are not real places! 487 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,160 We've never heard of them! 488 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,720 You are just putting British syllables together. 489 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,480 They're making fun of you. Oh, I know, and I'mma let them. It's fine. 490 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,640 We gave y'all Trump for the next four years. I got to do something. 491 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,440 Can I take a look at that one? Yeah, take a look at that one. 492 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,120 Give me a shot. This one. 493 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,360 BUZZER 494 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,240 He fell for it. 495 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:07,800 I think it's the A422. Yeah. 496 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,720 Points for you. 497 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,640 Next one. 498 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,280 Which road starts in Newport, passes through Manchester 499 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,960 and Stockton, and ends just outside Cambridge? Oh, dear me! 500 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,120 It's so hard to avoid the phrase who cares? 501 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:25,400 Is it the...? 502 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,440 Is it the M62? It's a trick question! 503 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,560 It's Newport, Oregon, Manchester, Delaware, Stockton, Illinois, 504 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,760 and Cambridge, Massachusetts. 505 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,000 The answer is US Highway 20, 506 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000 the longest road in America. 507 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,600 This game is international. Wow! 508 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,840 APPLAUSE 509 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,400 Last one. Thank God for that! 510 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,160 What's the shortest road in the United Kingdom? 511 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,360 It's only about ten foot long and I can't remember what it is. 512 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,360 Close, close. It's Ebenezer Place 513 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:59,120 in Wick in northern Scotland, which measures... 514 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,920 Just pipped you, Richard. Oh! 515 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,800 How tall are you? 516 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,000 I'm 6'7" so I could... 517 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,280 I'd certainly cause a blockage. 518 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,040 Uh, in other transport news, 519 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,640 what's wrong with Leeds bus station? 520 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,800 Ignore the obvious. Um... 521 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,360 It's £3 now to get a bus. 522 00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,960 Uh, no, it's not the price. It's the smell. 523 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,320 Oh, yes, yes! For two weeks, 524 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,040 people have been complaining that it smells... 525 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,280 I do not know what that means. 526 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,800 I don't want to know what that means. 527 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,600 Mini Cheddars was our Prime Minister during the Second World War. 528 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,000 LAUGHTER 529 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,280 And, finally, what record 530 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,160 has a runner in Wales recently set? 531 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,760 Using a tracker... High heels. 532 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,360 He was in high heels? Oh! Oh! Oh! 533 00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:01,840 Go on. A tracker. The biggest cock and balls in history. 534 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:02,880 What?! 535 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,240 LAUGHTER 536 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,000 On his, like, tracker thing, 537 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,160 he drew an enormous cock and balls. 538 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,520 Using a tracker, 539 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,680 Welshman Terry Rosoman set the world record for the... 540 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,760 OK. Let's take a look at that penis, please. 541 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,200 Oh! 542 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,160 LAUGHTER 543 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,840 If this is in any way an accurate description of a penis, 544 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,600 you should see a doctor. 545 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,480 Particularly if that measurement is accurate. 546 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,280 LAUGHTER 547 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,120 This is the news that Britain's oldest motorway, the M1, 548 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:39,560 is 65 years old. 549 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,960 According to BBC News, the toilets at the M1's Watford Gap services 550 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,000 once attracted the likes of The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix 551 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,000 and The Rolling Stones. 552 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,200 I wonder what ever could have attracted them... 553 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,120 The excellent plumbing maybe, 554 00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:54,400 or the lockable door 555 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,600 and the readily available flat surfaces. 556 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,480 We'll never know. 557 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,920 Meanwhile... One clap for cocaine. Yeah. 558 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,560 LAUGHTER 559 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,720 OK. Sorry, are we putting in an order? 560 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,640 Do you want some, Ian? No, two for snuff. 561 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,600 LAUGHTER 562 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,400 Two for snuff! 563 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,000 Whenever I see you clap now, I'm going to think. 564 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,520 "Oh, Ian's on the snuff." 565 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,800 Meanwhile, Leeds bus station has been plagued 566 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,160 by a mysterious stench. 567 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,160 One passenger who had just arrived there from London said... 568 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,000 ..and he'd just spent five hours on a Megabus. 569 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,160 Fingers on buzzers, teams. 570 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,200 Oh! 571 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,160 BELL 572 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,440 It's the royal family. 573 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,960 It was on the tip of my tongue! I recognised... Yeah! 574 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,760 This is the story that the King and the Prince of Wales both received 575 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,040 large amounts of money through their holdings in the 576 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,800 Duchy of Lancaster and the Duchy of Cornwall. 577 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,520 They own vast amounts of the country and lots of people pay rent, 578 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:07,120 but no-one knew that it was people like hospitals and schools 579 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,760 and the army. 580 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,600 And this...this wasn't very popular. 581 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,880 And that is correct. 582 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,960 The NHS has been charged rent by the King. An investigation 583 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,480 by the Sunday Times and Channel 4's Dispatches revealed 584 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,120 that the Duchy of Lancaster 585 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,440 charges one London hospital trust... 586 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,760 I would say if they need somewhere to put ambulances, people would pay 587 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,520 to have them parked outside their house, 588 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,600 just as like a form of insurance. 589 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,120 Yeah. 590 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,360 The Duchy of Lancaster also owns the land around the River Mersey 591 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,160 in Liverpool, so it makes money off the Mersey ferry. 592 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:46,280 How did Liverpudlians react to the news? 593 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:47,320 Well? 594 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,200 Just a second. 595 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,920 I want you all to acknowledge how hard I rehearsed "Liverpudlians". 596 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:56,960 LAUGHTER 597 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,280 A lot of them had no idea. 598 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,560 One woman had this reaction to the news. 599 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,760 Are Liverpudlians aware who is making money 600 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,480 from their famous ferry? 601 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,200 I have no idea who owns the foreshore. 602 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,840 I believe it's a gentleman from Liverpool. 603 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,280 I think his name's Chris. 604 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,120 LAUGHTER 605 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,640 That was my favourite bit! 606 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,480 And just the panic, like when you're at school and you think 607 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,040 you need to have an answer. 608 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,400 Uh, Steve? Someone called Steve? 609 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,880 Now, what's particularly special about the Duchy of Lancaster? 610 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,560 It gets passed by the left-hand side. 611 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,680 Very good! 612 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,000 It doesn't pay any tax. 613 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,160 Yes. 614 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,600 It has a special tax status, meaning... 615 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,360 Wow. That's so slick. 616 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,320 Now, what has Prince Andrew lost this week? 617 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,640 Oh. 618 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,000 Dignity? 619 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,480 No, he didn't have that. That was ages ago! 620 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:55,520 His allowance. 621 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,880 That's it. They took away his £1 million allowance? 622 00:30:58,880 --> 00:30:59,920 Yes. Yes. 623 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,080 So, he's got to pay his own rent. Yes. 624 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,160 A new royal biography has revealed 625 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,520 that King Charles has cut off Andrew's... 626 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,120 Not the first thing I'd cut off. Yeah. 627 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,760 According to The Times, Andrew may now be forced to downsize to... 628 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,880 I don't know about y'all, but I need at least three orangeries. 629 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,440 Yeah. Can't be living with two orangeries like a broke bitch. 630 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:32,720 Why would I ever...? 631 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,880 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 632 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,920 In other royal news... Yes. 633 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,800 ..what went up for sale this week? 634 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,240 The Duchess of Kent? 635 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:44,600 Oh! 636 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,200 Did you want to bid? 637 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,080 A slice of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip's wedding cake 638 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,560 that was found... 639 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:05,600 ..has sold at auction for £2,200. 640 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,560 Would you like to see it? 641 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,080 I wouldn't like to eat it! Yes. 642 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,840 Here's a picture of the fruitcake 643 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,680 holding the slice of wedding cake. 644 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,920 LAUGHTER 645 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,120 I'd eat it. 646 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:21,640 LAUGHTER 647 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,840 Once you start seeing Britain through American eyes, 648 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,640 you realise we're in trouble! 649 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,040 LAUGHTER 650 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,160 This is the news that the royal family are making millions a year 651 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,560 from their property empire. 652 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,640 Amongst King Charles' properties is a service station 653 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,480 including a fast food outlet. 654 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,240 Hey, not my Burger King! 655 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,000 King Charles is said to have cut off Prince Andrew's 656 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,040 £1 million allowance. 657 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,040 Oh, no! The poor man! 658 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,120 Now, he may actually have to eat at Pizza Express. 659 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,720 LAUGHTER Ooh! 660 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,360 Time now for the Odd One Out round. Just one between you this week. 661 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:04,880 They are crows, Sisyphus, a train driver and a monkey with a keyboard. 662 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,600 BELL 663 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,080 I don't know. I just like the crows. 664 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,160 The one on the right's brilliant, isn't it? Yeah. You want some, mate? 665 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,440 You want some? Yeah! Leave it out! 666 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,360 This seems to be a programme dedicated to authentic 667 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:19,400 Cockney accents. Yeah! 668 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,040 Is it repeating an action endlessly? 669 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,360 Sisyphus had to roll this boulder up to the top of the hill. 670 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,960 What's the monkey doing? 671 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,920 Sending emails. 672 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,520 "I'm out of the office. 673 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:32,800 "Don't work Tuesdays." 674 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,120 Crows. They do the same thing a lot, don't they? 675 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,480 He's not going anywhere with this. 676 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,720 BUZZER 677 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,040 I've given the benefit of the doubt. We've got guests, Ian. 678 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,360 What sort of impression does it give of our country? 679 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,760 Um... We don't know! 680 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,480 APPLAUSE 681 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,480 You'd better tell us. 682 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,520 His thing is nonstop. 683 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,360 He never stops pushing the thing up the hill. Yeah. 684 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,360 Monkeys can write the works of Shakespeare 685 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,400 if there's infinite monkeys. Given enough time, yep. Crows... 686 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,960 Crows hold a grudge... Yeah, they do. ..for, like, 17 years. Yeah. 687 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,000 So do train drivers. 688 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,640 So the odd one out is the crows. Yeah, definitely. 689 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,640 Yeah, it's the crows. Yeah, of course it's the crows. 690 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,480 They're all involved in something potentially endless 691 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,760 apart from the crows, who can only hold a grudge for 17 years. 692 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,720 How did one man in Seattle work out 693 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:29,640 and establish that crows can hold a grudge? 694 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,600 Cos he kicked a crow up the arse 17 years ago. 695 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,600 And then, 17 years later, he said, "Do you remember I kicked you 696 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,120 "up the arse?" "Yeah, you did." 697 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,800 That's the worst answer I've ever given in this programme. 698 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,720 In 2006, Professor John Marzluff 699 00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:47,640 had been investigating why crows 700 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,720 attack people so, in '06, 701 00:34:49,720 --> 00:34:52,680 he briefly captured seven crows... 702 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,200 Here he is in the mask. 703 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,440 This is the mask he was wearing. 704 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,920 Is that a mask or is that man just British? 705 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,520 Like, what's up with his teeth? 706 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,000 He then went back periodically to the same site to visit 707 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,760 the crows while wearing the mask. 708 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,240 The crows noticed and remembered him and... 709 00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:19,400 Until, this September, exactly 17 years later, 710 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,680 when they finally forgave him and the cawing stopped. 711 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,440 And this guy you say is a professor? Yes. 712 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,720 And they weren't even the same crows! 713 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,120 Ian, what's the deal with Sisyphus? 714 00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,160 You can get ointment for it. 715 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,080 He was sentenced to this endless torment because he treated guests 716 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,800 very badly by sort of murdering them a lot. 717 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,400 Yeah. He was a king who killed his guests to show how powerful 718 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,400 he was and was punished for eternity for... 719 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,120 Travelodge, you have been warned. 720 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,320 What is potentially endless for a train driver? 721 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:03,520 The Circle Line? 722 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,200 That is very good. 723 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,360 APPLAUSE 724 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,880 According to the Mail Online, 725 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:17,640 if a line manager interrupts a train driver's break to say hi, 726 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,040 they have the right to restart 727 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,880 the break from the beginning... 728 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:28,880 Yeah, I agree. 729 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,280 Why is he coming to say hi? No-one's coming to say hi on your break. 730 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,120 They're coming to get you to do jobs. 731 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,760 Someone comes over, it's, like, "Hello!" You're, like, "No!" 732 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,240 We start again! 733 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:44,840 I would hang around a boss and dare... Just sort of, like... 734 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,280 And make loads of noises, so eventually they were, like, 735 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,520 "What's wrong with you?" I'm, like, "Uh-oh! 736 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,640 "Looks like I've got another hour!" 737 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,680 What will a monkey with a keyboard never do? 738 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,200 Write the works of Shakespeare. 739 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,080 Two mathematicians in Australia have debunked the... 740 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,760 Oh, have they? 741 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,880 ..that, if a monkey spent enough time at a keyboard, it would 742 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,240 eventually be able to reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Ah! 743 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:11,480 Oh, right. They said that the amount of time it would take... 744 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,400 I'm sticking with the monkeys. I think they're going to get it. 745 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,320 Right. He's on his break at the moment! 746 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,520 If you speak to him, he deletes the whole of Othello! 747 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,520 How did the Sun newspaper cover this story? 748 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,440 Some pun on monkeys, isn't it, I should think? 749 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,440 The Sun newspaper went for... 750 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,680 LAUGHTER 751 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,280 That is actually good. 752 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,920 They're all involved in something potentially endless 753 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,520 apart from the crows, who can only hold a grudge for 17 years. 754 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,440 According to a new deal signed by Britain's train drivers, 755 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,960 their lunch hour can be restarted if a manager even stops to say hello. 756 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,480 In theory, a lunch break could go on for... 757 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,960 "That's unworkable," said French train drivers. 758 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,520 "That's barely enough time to let the wine breathe!" 759 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,960 Time now for the Missing Words round, which this week 760 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:12,080 features as its guest publication Heritage Tractor magazine. 761 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:16,560 There's a lot in each issue, but I'll just plough through it. 762 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,040 And we'll start with... 763 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,600 Is brought back from the dead. 764 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,480 They've got a defibrillator with his name on it. 765 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:34,880 "Start me up!" 766 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,760 APPLAUSE 767 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:52,760 Keith insists on having a shepherd's pie before every Rolling Stones gig. 768 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,920 Stewed gristly meat with a cheesy crust is a pretty good 769 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,440 description of Keith Richards. 770 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,480 Next... 771 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,040 Is it sprayed his seed over a 30 metre radius? 772 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:18,920 While rotating. 773 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,920 Not far off it. Machinery! Yeah. After the display, 774 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,920 the gathered Norfolk crowd gave a rousing round of applause, 775 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,240 made all the louder by the fact that everyone there had 12 fingers. 776 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,400 Next... 777 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,080 They're trying to scare your cat. 778 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,000 Cos you see all those videos... Do you know, I missed them? 779 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,920 Well, I think that's not right. Where is this from? 780 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,440 According to a recent survey, 781 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:10,120 the fourth most popular item ordered on Deliveroo was... 782 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,920 Eh, just one cucumber. 783 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,680 So you're telling me that you weren't doing anything 784 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,760 with this cucumber other than eating it? 785 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,240 Not two or three cucumbers. 786 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,480 You just order one cucumber and some lotion 787 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,760 and that's just what I'm supposed to... 788 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:30,960 OK. But also, you've ordered it, so you wouldn't be surprised anyway. 789 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,360 Yeah! 790 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,800 Now, that's a nightmare scenario. Ordering cucumbers 791 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,120 and forgetting you've ordered cucumbers. 792 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,440 It's like some sort of hell! 793 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,680 Quick, before we go on, let's just pause for a second. 794 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,400 To the Americans watching right now, a cucumber is a type of vegetable. 795 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,240 And sometimes you eat vegetables because they're supposed... 796 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:49,320 Never mind. 797 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,600 LAUGHTER 798 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,600 Next, China could be spying on your kitchen by... 799 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,000 What? 800 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,400 By putting a tap on your sink? 801 00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:59,440 Yes! 802 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,560 AUDIENCE GROANS 803 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,760 Oh, you groan now but you'll be buying it in paperback by Christmas! 804 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,440 China could be spying on your kitchen by using 805 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,120 an air fryer. 806 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,840 Oh, yes! 807 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:18,840 Next - Catholic Church tries to woo young people by...? 808 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,800 Is it sheer force of habit? 809 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,440 AUDIENCE GROANS 810 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,200 Woo! 811 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,040 Catholic Church tries to woo young people by saying, 812 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,560 "Do you want to see some puppies?" 813 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,040 Catholic Church tries to woo young people by 814 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,640 introducing new mascot. 815 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,040 Isn't Jesus enough? 816 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,160 Yeah! 817 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:45,840 Lastly, ask any American for a British stereotype 818 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,200 and they'll say... What? 819 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,040 A fondness for democracy? 820 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,800 Ask any American for a British stereotype 821 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,120 and they'll say horrible teeth. 822 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,880 What are you saying, Roy? We'll ask you. We say the food. 823 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:00,840 The food? Yeah. It's bad? 824 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,840 Chips? Fish and chips? Here's the thing. 825 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,600 I'm not going to say that British food is bad. 826 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,920 I will say it does not photograph well. 827 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,120 LAUGHTER 828 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,160 I would agree! 829 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,080 APPLAUSE 830 00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,320 That's the problem. 831 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,840 So the final scores are Ian and Roisin have four points, 832 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,560 and Paul and Richard have seven points. 833 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 834 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:22,560 Sorry about that. It was you! 835 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:29,760 Before we go, there's just time for the caption competition. 836 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,080 God! I can only think of a pun. Whenever I do... Richard, 837 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,280 whenever I do a pun, the audience just groan. I think go for it. 838 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,520 You can do it. My head feels a little SAW. 839 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:39,920 LAUGHTER 840 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,040 APPLAUSE 841 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,080 Woo, woo, woo! 842 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,840 AUDIENCE WHOOPS 843 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,760 On which note... That was incredibly patronising. 844 00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,200 Thank you very much indeed. 845 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,400 On which note, we say thank you to our panellists - 846 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,800 Ian Hislop and Roisin Conaty, Paul Merton and Richard Osman, 847 00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,800 and I leave you with news that after an unexpected career change, 848 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,840 one woman decides to take up acting 849 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,400 and audition for a part in EastEnders. 850 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,600 LAUGHTER 851 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,480 At an election victory party in Florida, 852 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,400 one intern manages to slip away 853 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,280 from an awkward situation at the last minute. 854 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,320 LAUGHTER 855 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,240 And a Northampton man is delighted 856 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:25,040 he can hear much more clearly 857 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:28,080 after dislodging a stubborn piece of earwax. 858 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,400 LAUGHTER, GROANS 859 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,800 Goodnight.