(male announcer) In the criminal justice system,
the people are represented by two separate
yet equally important groups--
the police who investigate crime
and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders.
These are their stories.
[crowd chanting] Two, three, four!
Barlow is a right wing whore.
One, two, three, four. Barlow is a right wing whore.
One, two, three, four...
If you're asking me about the swing voters--
who, by the way, I prefer to call them
the cretin block--
[scattered laughter]
I think anyone who has managed to live 18 years
without forming an opinion has, by definition,
waived his right to have a voice
in the management of the country.
[light applause]
So you're suggesting all citizens
shouldn't have the right to vote?
I'm saying that for the process
to have any legitimate meaning,
a modicum of intelligence
in the electorate is necessary.
(man) In other words...
some people are more equal than others.
Hmm.
When Mr. Sperm says hello to Ms. Egg,
everybody's equal.
After that, things change.
People become less equal,
mostly due to the choices that they make.
Sounds like a hypocrite's justification for racism.
(all) Yeah!
Hypocrisy is fighting to keep religion out of politics
except when the Reverend Sharpton
is running for office.
Hypocrisy is treating those who believe in a Higher Being
as being mentally deficient,
except when Bill Maher
is kissing the Reverend Jesse Jackson's butt
on national television.
Hypocrisy is the utter moral indignation displayed
at the taking of human life
while dismissing it as irrelevant
when it comes to partial birth abortions
and embryonic stem cell research.
Bitch!
Which brings us to the feminist problem.
You know, you're just making my point.
We have a feminist problem.
[shouting]
People, please!
[shouting]
[gunshot]
[screaming]
(Wong) Well, your guy had good aim
or the victim had bad luck.
One shot--boom! Punctured the heart.
Looks like a large caliber.
What was he, like, 19?
(man) Next month.
His name is Jason Miles.
He just started his sophomore year.
Jimmy Morgan.
So... how's life outta the bag?
It's all right.
You know, I been meaning to call you at your new precinct.
Well, maybe I'll answer.
What do you know?
Ah, it was a mob scene.
Everybody ran when they heard the shot.
Is that who I think it is?
Judith Barlow?
Up close, personal,
and a lot hotter than on the tube.
And them?
Barlow's bodyguards.
Their weapons have been checked.
Both magazines are fully loaded.
No signs of recent discharge.
Voucher 'em for me
and get 'em over to ballistics, will you?
And by the way,
I have a cell phone too, you know.
(Green) And your lecture tour
takes you to other venues like this?
Colleges.
The last bastion of free speech and thought...
as long as you say and think the party line.
You know, I think they threw a tea party
for Hugo Chavez here last month...
and a parade for Cindy Sheehan.
It's funny how those preaching tolerance
turn out to be the least tolerant of all.
Right.
Can you tell us what happened?
I've got a ten year-old niece
who can't even tell you who the vice president is.
But she sure as hell can put a condom on a banana
in two seconds flat.
Yeah, the whole world's going to hell. It's a damn shame.
You know what else is a damn shame?
There's a dead kid ten feet away from you and you're--
Well, that wouldn't have happened
if Rudy still ran the city.
Officer, take those two in.
Take her too.
[under breath] No wonder they call her
"the most hated bitch in America."
You mean "woman," right?
No, I mean "bitch."
I mean, give a liberal a gun.
He'll shoot himself.
There's a reason for gun control.
Oh, boy, I thought I'd at least get a Cheney joke.
Call me crazy,
but if someone tried to kill me,
I think I'd take it a bit more seriously.
Look I'm sure you're very good at what you do,
but I really don't think this had anything to do with me.
The left's been castrated by the church of Phil Donahue.
They don't carry weapons.
Hell, they won't even play dodge ball for God sakes.
So why the bodyguards?
To protect my clothes...
ever since the Harvard scholars decided
to conduct political debate with their dessert.
I've got drinks with Rush.
Detective, I, um...
I wanted to apologize if I came off rude before.
That's my cell.
(Cassady) Looks like someone's a little sweet on Eddie.
I would rather have root canal.
What do we have on the body?
Crime scene's still searching the auditorium
and the surrounding grounds for a gun.
The bullet was a .45. Both bodyguards carry .38s.
Well, that leaves us with 500 or so members
of the audience.
(Green) You know what?
Maybe we're looking at this wrong.
Maybe the shooter was after Jason Miles
and he was using the mob scene as a distraction.
I got news for you, Ed.
You agree with Judith Barlow more than you think.
Why don't we see
if Jason Miles had any enemies?
[crying] I met Jason on the first day of freshman week.
And we were together ever since.
I can't believe this is happening.
What about you?
Jason never mentioned any problems with anyone.
No offense, but... you seem a little old
to be hanging out with sophomores.
What's your story?
I'm Malcolm Yates. I'm a PhD candidate.
Jason used to volunteer in the bio lab where I work.
He thought it would help with med school.
Mal was like his mentor.
Did Jason have words with anybody at the Barlow talk?
Well, we weren't there.
None of this would've happened
if he didn't take that damn course.
[under breath] Professor's a fraud.
What professor?
Kevin Gray.
Teaches Modern Political Thought.
Gets the kids all riled up.
Jason became obsessed
with how the right wing is screwing up the country.
And that's why he went to see Barlow?
Well, yeah. Gray organized the protest.
I mean, the whole class was expected to go.
But he swore that he would meet us
up at Mal's apartment afterwards
for pizza and the Knicks game.
Panopticon.
Sorry, don't speak French.
It's from the Greek.
A prison where a single guard can see all the prisoners
all the time from a single spot.
That's what we've become.
This entire country is one big prison,
only the guards are using wiretaps,
warrantless searches, and torture.
That's really interesting, but--
Big Brother is watching, man.
And his name is George.
So what does the porcine patrol want from me?
That, I understand.
You just became a real pain in the ass.
And proud of it.
But this is America,
where even a pain in the ass has the unfettered right
to speak his mind,
Frau Barlow and the Reich notwithstanding.
Okay, what do you know about the shooting?
I know the wrong person died.
Meaning Judith Barlow?
Tokyo Rose in a designer dress.
Her bosses preach war and hate,
and she sells it with a smile and a little cleavage.
I'll make this very simple for you.
My students are morally opposed to violence.
Let me make this simple for you.
We need a list of the students that were at the lecture.
No problem.
I'll have my secretary get that for you.
If there's nothing else--
Listen, Professor.
Any other groups on campus that may not agree
with your little point of view?
You mean, you think someone was deliberately aiming at Jason?
(Cassady) Well, we're porcine.
Remember? We have to sniff all around the pen.
Well, there was some trouble
at our pro-Palestinian march last month.
Things...got a little outta hand.
(student) Pro-Palestinian my ass!
It was an anti-Israel march!
You wanna know the worst?
That professor was born Kevin Gray Lefkowitz.
Well, he actually struck me as more of
a "blame America" kind of guy.
The only reason that they blame America
is because they think it's run
by a cabal of Jewish capitalists
whose only loyalty is to the vast Zionist conspiracy.
Here. Let me show you something.
[crowd protesting on computer]
Some of the Jewish kids took exception
to Gray's little demonstration.
[crowd shouting]
Free Palestine! Free Palestine!
[more shouting]
Wait, stop. Go back.
That's Jason Miles beating on that kid.
(student) His name's Danny O'Toole.
Well, maybe the shooting was payback.
O'Toole's not a Jewish name.
Danny's an Evangelical Christian.
Funny thing is,
they actually care more about Israel
than most of the Jews on this campus.
Go figure.
God gave Israel to the Jewish people.
And Christians have a biblical duty to protect it.
Even if you get your ass kicked in the process?
Well, small price to pay.
The prophets predict
that enemy armies will invade the Holy Land.
And at the final confrontation--
At Armageddon.
Very good.
Six years of Sunday school.
Then you know the final battle will precipitate
the second coming of Christ.
Wait. Hold on a second.
That's like a fancy way of saying
your personal battle started with Professor Gray's march
and ended Friday night at the Barlow talk
with a bullet in Jason Miles's back.
"Vengeance belongeth to me," saith the Lord.
That sounds great on paper, but--
I wasn't at Barlow's speech, Detective.
I was with Pastor Stevens, working the soup kitchen.
(Pastor Stevens) That's right. Danny was with me.
No offense, Pastor,
but if you're covering for him--
I know it's not a sin-- but it's definitely a crime.
We're just a little curious.
Jason Miles beats the hell out of Danny O'Toole.
A month later,
Jason ends up with a bullet in his back.
You might not be able to comprehend this,
but we actually believe in turning the other cheek.
Does that include not pressing charges
for the attack?
Danny and I debated whether to go to the police.
But we decided against it.
I don't think my cheek would turn that far.
Well, mine didn't either.
Until Jason's girlfriend, Kirsten,
convinced me otherwise.
She said a criminal record would ruin his chances
of getting into medical school.
Nothing like forgiveness.
The deal was Jason had to work
every Tuesday and Friday night
8:00 to 12:00 in our soup kitchen
for the rest of the semester.
The Barlow talk was on Friday night.
That's right.
Kirsten showed up at the kitchen alone.
She said Jason wasn't feeling well.
(Green) Kirsten told us that she was with that grad student Yates,
watching the Knicks, eating pizza,
waiting for Jason to show up.
Yeah, why would she lie about being at a soup kitchen?
To protect Yates.
(Cassady) We re-interviewed Kirsten. She's sticking to her story.
Ain't no chance in France she's telling the truth.
We're figuring it's a love triangle,
and Yates got tired of sharing.
What'd he say?
We're hoping a little leverage will loosen his lips.
As in a warrant.
Well, if we can get into his apartment,
we might be able to find something.
She lied and you wanna search his place?
It's a shame. What is?
That we have a damn Constitution.
[phone rings]
I'll tell you what, Jimmy. I'll call you, okay?
Let's hope Yates is as aggressive as your boy there.
He is not my boy...
yet.
Look, when you get lucky,
your buddies usually hear all the dark and dirties,
am I right? Oh, please!
All I'm saying is
even a science geek has gotta have a couple of buds.
(Green) So you two are pretty close?
If you mean drinking the same rotten coffee
at 2:00 AM out of the same unwashed pot,
yeah.
Peas in a pod.
Thing is, I'm neurology. Mal's cytology.
Ne'er the twain shall meet.
Did he ever talk to you about Kirsten?
Who?
Kirsten, his girlfriend.
She's a cute blonde, about this tall.
She probably came around a lot.
I might be a science geek,
but that I would've noticed.
What about phone calls?
You ever take a message from a girl?
Yeah, his mom called once.
Something about grandma's birthday.
Look, I don't know who's been giving you your information,
but Malcolm Yates is not
what you would call a ladies' man.
I mean, first off, he couldn't afford it.
He had to borrow rent money.
Second, the only meaning of "boy and girl"
he ever thinks about occurs in a petri dish.
Like cloning?
He's not trying to duplicate his dead Dalmatian, Dolly,
if that's what you're thinking.
He's creating human embryos.
To harvest their stem cells.
Change the world.
I've heard Barlow rail against stem cells.
That would give Yates a reason to be at the scene.
It's all a little spooky if you ask me.
Well, we're not exactly talking about Boys From Brazil here.
Yeah, I know, I'm just saying
I can see how reasonable people might disagree--
Reasonable morons.
I really wish you'd learn to speak your mind, Ed.
Well, you try explaining to your dad every Sunday
you're not the neighbor's kid Frankie the accountant.
Then you can talk to me.
Your dad has Alzheimer's?
Yeah. Listen.
Friday, before we got the call,
I was watching the Knicks game.
How'd they do?
How do you think?
My point is, it was only on cable sports package.
Now, how does a starving college student
who has to beg for rent money afford that?
Thank you very much.
Ed.
Hey, you want a hot cup of black disappointment?
I don't think so.
That was the cable company.
They just confirmed
they shut off Yates's cable two months ago
after he missed three months of payments.
Two friends of the deceased lying to us. Mm-hmm.
That oughta convince
Judge "I'll Sign Anything" Barsky.
Guess the maid forgot to come this week.
He's in what, like, the 17th grade?
I'd figure he knows enough to toss the weapon.
I can't get in!
Let's just take it. We got our own geeks.
Detectives, look at this.
In the medicine chest,
right behind the bottle of Scope.
Oh.
.45s.
Just like the one that killed Jason.
Looks like they hold off on ammo tossing
till the 18th grade.
Why would I kill Jason?
(Cassady) One girl, two guys.
Must've been a real pain in the ass,
sneaking around behind Jason's back all the time.
You wanted her all to yourself.
You think Kirsten and me--
No way.
Jason was my friend.
What about Kirsten? She was Jason's friend.
Then why'd she lie about being with you?
It's the truth!
Oh, so it's Pastor Stevens who's the big liar.
(Cassady) Wow.
We're gonna be here for a while.
Can I get you something?
A soda, cup of coffee?
So what happens next?
Detective Pantyline give him a mani-pedi and a massage?
What's your problem with female police officers?
Nothing personal,
but last year down in Atlanta
that animal wrestles a firearm from a female guard
and shoots both her and the judge.
I doubt that would've happened
if the, uh, guard shaved every morning before work,
and I don't mean under his pits.
Do you talk like this in public?
I like you.
This is me being polite.
Let's go.
I don't wanna talk to her.
(Van Buren) She wants to talk to you.
Go ahead, Ms. Barlow.
Tell Mr. Yates your feelings
on embryonic stem cell research.
You mean, how if it had any validity whatsoever,
the corporate world would be all over it
quicker than pigs on crap?
Or how when rats are treated
with embryonic stem cells
they end up with brain cancer?
That's a lie.
Your work's just a con job
to extort money from the public,
exceeded in its mendacity
only by the three-card monte game
played by the global warming crowd.
Once again,
words have failed the intellectual left.
It should've been you and not Jason!
Arrest him.
Get him down.
Docket number 0674561. People vs. Yates, Malcolm P.
Charge is Murder in the Second Degree.
Thank you.
Bernie Adler for the defense, Your Honor.
(Judge Krupp) Yes, I know who you are.
A sawbuck says there's no need to ask for a plea.
Not guilty.
I should get on a bus to Atlantic City.
Your Honor--
Oh, lighten up, counselor.
People request bail on the amount of $1 million.
Mr. Yates is a student who can barely afford his rent.
Let's cut that in half.
It's fine by me, Your Honor.
So what do ya say, Mr. Adler?
Deal or no deal?
[chuckling] I'm sorry, I just can't resist.
Do I have a choice?
Not really.
I'd think you'd be too busy closing down the Boy Scouts
to find time for anything
as prosaic as a garden-variety murder.
When the intended victim is Judith Barlow,
it don't grow in m garden.
Okay, Jack.
Now that we've both got the Henny Youngman,
or should I say Sean Hannity out of our systems,
you called, we came.
You came because you know our case.
I thought there'd at least be some Danish and coffee.
It appears your client can afford to buy you breakfast.
If you're talking about bail,
my mom mortgaged her house.
(McCoy) The bullets found in Mr. Yates's apartment
were the same type, caliber, and make
as those used to kill Jason Miles.
And his prints were on the box.
I had no reason to shoot Jason.
I agree.
You intended to shoot Judith Barlow.
Oh, God bless you.
But missed.
And as Mr. Adler will tell you,
in criminal law, intent follows the bullet.
I was framed.
Really?
Then why did you lie to the cops?
Because they were cops.
I was scared.
(Adler) Like this wouldn't be the first time the government
created a perpetrator out of whole cloth.
Are you suggesting the cops planted the bullets?
Can you think of a better way to quell future incidents
of civil disobedience?
Unfortunately, Mr. Adler,
Judith Barlow is a private individual.
Who happens to be a shill
for an illegal government's unconstitutional policies.
And you can call me Bernie.
(McCoy) I guess dealing down
to Man One is out of the question?
No Danish, no deal.
Think they're gonna come back with an offer?
Bernie Adler? Not a chance.
The man tilts at windmills.
I'd feel better if we had more motive evidence.
Ever hear Barlow speak?
Well, it's Murder Two.
I don't think that "I hate her politics"
is gonna cut it.
Now I know you never heard her speak.
(Watts) You've gotta admit, Barlow's a hoot.
I heard her say once that Mexico's lucky
we let them be our neighbor.
How obnoxious is that?
Yeah, but it's funny...
in a sick sort of way.
Oh, sorry, it doesn't look like
Yates has sent her any hate-mail.
Most recently, all his emails
have been to someone named Fogarty.
(Rubirosa) Go ahead and open that up.
(Watts) "Dr. Keith Fogarty,
Head of Research at Russell Laboratories."
Looks like Yates is looking for some new work.
(doctor) Yeah, we hate losing Malcolm.
'Cause when you're talking PGD,
Malcolm Yates is your go-to guy.
PGD?
Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis.
It's a method of deriving stem cells
from human blastocysts.
Wow, sounds like somebody you'd wanna keep around.
I'd wanna clone him.
Excuse the pun.
But this is a university,
and what's fair isn't always right.
So you're letting Malcolm Yates go?
Outside funding is our lifeblood.
The Marbury Foundation has decided
that our yearly transfusion is going elsewhere next year.
So someone's gotta go.
Malcolm, unfortunately,
is the junior member of our team.
Last in, first out,
as they say in the economics department.
(man) We simply decided to go
in a different direction.
One far from public controversy,
such as embryonic stem cell research?
Look.
For the far right,
embryonic stem cell research labs
are the abortion clinics of the 21st century.
Now, sure, we can live
with religious zealots carrying signs
out in our parking lot.
But wild-eyed pundits
vilifying us to millions on cable TV and talk radio...
Well, that does damage that we can't readily heal.
Pundits like Judith Barlow?
She makes Ann Coulter look like Mary Poppins.
The final straw was when she went on Bill O'Reilly
and she listed our board of directors by name,
calling each one of them
a murderer and a baby-killer.
The last thing that we need is for the public
to think the Marbury Foundation can be bullied by ideologues.
The last thing I want is for this
to turn into another Scopes trial.
This case is about nothing more
than Malcolm Yates blaming Judith Barlow
for the loss of his job.
Because of her position on--
Put the guy from the charity on the stand
to say that he cut off the funding
because of Barlow's big mouth.
And how are we supposed to keep that big mouth
from spouting off to the jury?
You don't let her anywhere near the stand.
That's how.
She's the intended victim!
She's also one of the most polarizing people
on the planet.
I mean, ten minutes of her bloviating,
and the jury'll forget why they're there
and convict the SOB of bad aim.
So that's it?
Politics has infected every aspect of our culture
to the point where I can't prosecute a murder
the way it should be prosecuted
without worrying about offending someone.
Welcome to the world.
You do politics, Arthur, not me.
I do the law.
Well, three cheers for you.
Buy yourself a drink.
You can curse the politicians all you want,
but the fact is that the country's managed
to choose up sides all by itself.
That's good. Pass the buck to the people.
They're the ones who step into the voting booth.
I'm sorry,
but the problem is not the people
and it's not the politicians.
It's the pundits from both sides of the aisle
who lie every evening on the cable news.
No, that's not politics.
That's chickens chattering in the churchyard.
You go ahead and prove your point.
Put Barlow on the stand.
No, you're right, Arthur.
I may not be political, but I'm not an idealist either.
Well, good.
There for a while,
I was afraid you had chosen the wrong profession.
Mm.
Adler's moving to exclude all representatives
of the Marbury Foundation from testifying.
(Adler) My point is simple, Your Honor.
Unless the State can prove that my client had knowledge
that Barlow was responsible
for his anticipated loss of employment,
it would be highly prejudicial
to allow such testimony into evidence.
The head of grants for the foundation
told me Barlow was the only reason
for its decision.
Oh, well, I'm sure he did.
But did he tell Mr. Yates?
Do you have any evidence
of the defendant's prior knowledge?
It's obvious from his actions.
Not to me, it isn't.
I'm gonna grant Mr. Adler's motion to exclude.
You're going to prevent me
from presenting any motive evidence,
in other words.
No, those would be the exact words,
unless you come with something a bit less speculative.
Please! Please!
I challenge anyone to show me where in the Constitution
it says we can turn a living human
into an organic chop shop.
This...this so-called research is merely one step removed
from abortion.
(interviewer) Some would argue a woman's right to determine what happens
to her own body--
(Barlow) You mean the unfettered right to hop in the sack
with men they don't consider daddy material, don't you?
Nobody has the right to do what he wants with his own body.
Cn you sell a kidney?
Not unless you wanna spend ten years in prison, you can't.
You got to admit, she's smart.
I do?
All right, provocative, then.
She's a huckster.
Her books are flying off the shelves as we speak.
Anyway, I spoke with everyone
who works at Yates's lab.
No one has ever even heard him mention Barlow's name.
So I went back to his laptop,
hoping I would find some political meetings
in his calendar.
Tell me you found the annual "I hate Barlow" convention.
Sorry.
But I did notice a monthly appointment
with a Dr. Rooker.
His shrink?
His neurologist.
Specializes in Parkinson's Disease.
Yates has Parkinson's?
Certainly would give him strong motive
to shoot the woman leading the charge
against the only thing that might offer him a cure.
Imagine if you felt your life accelerating into utter misery
due to a debilitating disease.
And then imagine that a potential cure is in sight.
But someone-- in this case, Judith Barlow--
is doing everything
that she can to prevent that cure
from becoming a reality.
What would you do?
Your Honor--
Mr. Yates has Parkinson's Disease.
That's tragic.
But when he fired a gun at Judith Barlow
and mistakenly killed Jason Miles,
he committed murder in the second degree.
Can we talk in chambers?
He's mocking the proceedings.
Nothing like State-sanctioned sympathy, Jack.
Your Honor, believe me.
My client is sick.
There is nothing he would like better
than to stop shaking.
Too bad that's not an option.
Funny how he managed to sit still in my office.
That was my client on drugs.
This is my client au naturel.
(McCoy) It's a distraction meant to pull
at the jury's heartstrings.
I want a mistrial
and a retrial with the defendant on his medication.
Nothing I can do, Mr. McCoy.
The right to confront witnesses doesn't come
with a prescription.
I can't force him to self-medicate.
Your motion is denied.
Judge.
I know this is a bit unusual.
But if it's okay with you,
I would prefer to reserve my opening statement
until the end of the State's case-in-chief.
Sure, why not?
I've been treating Malcolm Yates
for nearly two years.
Although Parkinson's typically affects people over 50,
there are a few reported cases of much younger sufferers,
most notably the actor Michael J. Fox.
Can you please describe the symptoms briefly,
Dr. Rooker?
Basically,
PD is a motor system disorder,
resulting from the loss
of dopamine-producing brain cells.
The primary symptoms are tremors or trembling
in the arms, legs, jaw, and face.
Is there any cure? No.
But surgery or a variety of medications--
levodopa combined with carbidopa, for instance--
can provide dramatic relief.
(McCoy) But ultimately offer no cure.
(Dr. Rooker) Unfortunately, that's true.
(McCoy) But there is a chance that a cure may be found
using embryonic stem cells, isn't that right?
Yes. You see, the usefulness of embryonic stem cells
is their ability to develop into any kind of cell in the body.
Researchers are currently attempting to use them
to develop dopamine-producing cells.
(McCoy) Which would more or less put an end to Parkinson's Disease.
That would be correct.
So it seems perfectly reasonable that a Parkinson's sufferer,
like Mr. Yates, would do whatever it took
to muzzle opponents of such research.
(Adler) Objection!
Sustained.
As far as you know,
is there any tangible evidence
that embryonic stem cell research
will lead to a cure for Parkinson's Disease?
At this time? No.
Is the possibility of a cure even close?
(Dr. Rooker) Not really.
So it's all very speculative.
I suppose.
So it's a distinct possibility
that Mr. Yates would not see a cure
in his lifetime
if there is one to be found at all.
Yes.
(Adler) Now, being a scientist himself,
would you expect Mr. Yates to be aware of that?
(Dr. Rooker) I'm sure he is.
(Adler) So practically speaking,
muzzling an outspoken critic of stem cell research
really wouldn't benefit Mr. Yates at all, would it?
Withdrawn!
Can't get good help these days, can you, Arthur?
And you'd be referring to?
Your Mr. McCoy.
A week's worth of witnesses, and the intended victim
hasn't even testified yet.
For the record, that was my idea, Judith.
Giving you the opportunity
to display your wit and wisdom to the jury
would put us on the express train
to an acquittal.
Oh, come on, Arthur. People love me.
[chuckles]
Oh, I'm sure some people love spiders too.
They eat flies, don't they?
And we know what flies eat.
Very good.
I just love the old joust.
And I just came here to enjoy my scotch and newspaper...
alone.
Oh, Arthur.
Let's not pretend we're not on the same side
of the ideological fence.
Ideology's one thing. Hyperbole's another.
Please, all I do is make boring,
conservative talking points entertaining
so hopefully someone actually listens to them.
No, all you do is make people madder
than a hound dog with a head cold,
so that along the way,
they miss the message completely.
I've got four number one best-sellers, Arthur.
How many does Antonin Scalia have?
And you also look better in a cocktail dress.
[chuckles]
I better go.
I wouldn't want your voting public
to actually think we're...friends.
(Adler) Okay.
Show of hands.
Are there any kikes here?
How about spics?
Objection!
(Adler) Okay.
Now, I know there are a couple of coons.
(McCoy) Your Honor! (Judge Berman) Enough, Mr. Adler.
[gavel bangs] Pisses you off, doesn't it?
Mr. Adler!
Actually, I'll bet it pisses you off so bad
you just threw your reason
out the window, and all you're thinking about
is smacking me upside the head.
Objection! (Judge Berman) Counselor!
Now I'll tell ya, if I were black,
and some honky called me a coon--
(Judge Berman) Mr. Adler!
I'd actually think about killing the son of a bitch.
In my chambers...now!
[bangs gavel]
What the hell do you think
you're doing in there, Counselor?
I was just trying-- I'm not done!
This is a murder trial, Counselor.
(McCoy) And playing the race card
is not only irrelevant, it's unethical.
I'm the one talking now, Mr. McCoy.
Okay, Mr. Adler. You've got two seconds.
And it better be good or you're looking at a mistrial,
not to mention a slew of contempt citations.
With all due respect, Judge,
this case is essentially about hate speech.
Oh, gimme a break.
That night, when Barlow spoke about disabled Americans,
she used language just as disgusting
as the racial pejoratives I just tossed at the jury.
I was simply demonstrating the effect of such speech.
To what end?
Such extreme emotional distress negates the intent required
for a charge of murder.
Even if that's true,
we have made a case for manslaughter.
(Adler) Only nobody's charged him with that.
I can call a couple of hundred people to testify
to Ms. Barlow's odious comments.
They're not on defense counsel's
witness list, Your Honor.
I can't be expected to depose a few hundred witnesses
in the middle of a trial.
(Adler) Fine.
Then I'll just call one.
Judith Barlow.
She's not on your witness list either.
Right. That's why I move to amend.
You can't claim you haven't talked to her.
(McCoy) Let's not pretend we don't know what's going on.
Counsel plans to attack the victim.
That's right... with her own words.
This I've gotta see. Motion granted.
She's been in the gallery
throughout the trial, Your Honor.
She's heard all testimony.
I'll instruct the jury to consider that
when weighing her credibility.
(McCoy) In that case,
I insist you add all lesser included offenses
when you charge the jury, specifically manslaughter.
(Judge Berman) You insist?
You know that's premature, Counselor.
I'll decide on the jury charge
when all the evidence is presented.
Actually, it's the latest team sport
on college campuses...
Physically attacking me, I mean.
Why do you suppose that is?
Um, when one is frustrated intellectually,
one resorts to violence.
And you think today's college students
are intellectually frustrated?
Yes.
I don't really blame them.
I mean, they've come to realize viscerally
that everything they've been taught is wrong.
Communism kills more people than capitalism.
Affirmative action infantilizes minorities.
Welfare destroys ambition and self-reliance.
What about science?
No, no, they're okay with science
as long as its purpose
is to destroy human embryos, that is.
(Adler) Oh, I think you better
explain that, Ms. Barlow.
I'm okay with Miss.
It's really very simple.
The abortion crusaders have always struggled to find
a moral justification
for the willful taking of unborn life.
So what they do is they parade out sympathetic faces
like Christopher Reeve and Ronald Reagan
to rationalize the destruction
of a human embryo in a test tube.
I mean, please.
To help people like that, who is gonna argue?
But then, with a stroke of self-restraint
that would make even John Kerry blush,
they extrapolate one cell in a dish in a lab
in the one hand,
a fetus in the belly of a lady on the table
of a doctor's office in the other.
If it's okay to take the life of the former,
they're shouldn't be any problem with the latter.
It's a bogus conflation of bait and switch.
Murder is murder...
whether it involves tweezers poking around a test tube
or forceps piercing the brain of an eight-month-old fetus
euphemistically called a late-term abortion.
If it's okay to murder one little guy,
why not whack one just a smidge bigger?
So even if stem cell research
could save millions of people--
I've got nothing against using adult stem cells.
It's cloning embryos to kill them.
That strains morality.
And you're appointed the judge
of what is and what is not moral?
Hey, God-- or if you prefer, Darwin--
gave me a conscience.
I figure at least one of them expects me to use it.
And artificially creating--
Let's not play word games, Counselor.
It's cloning.
And considering where that might lead,
yes, it's immoral.
Oh, I see. The old slippery slope argument?
(Barlow) Why is it,
when we're discussing the NSA wiretapping terrorists
the left thinks the old slippery slope argument
trumps all others?
But...when the talk turns
to intentionally destroying human life,
that same slope suddenly isn't so slippery?
Is it true that in your lecture,
you referred to a commercial
starring the actor Michael J. Fox
as "a ploy by the liberals,
"trotting out another spaz
to spew their lies?"
Hmm. I was trying to make--
Yes or no? Did you say it?
Yes.
Why did you use the word spaz, Miss Barlow?
I was trying to make the point
that the left promotes its lies by using unattackable victims.
Please!
Who is gonna argue with a tragically ill Alex P. Keaton?
You pity him.
You don't contradict him.
Of course I don't like what she stands for.
I'm a scientist.
But I certainly didn't go there to kill her.
But you brought a gun.
I started carrying it for protection.
I had to walk home from the lab late at night.
That night,
I just got caught up in the excitement.
When people started rushing the stage,
I just followed the crowd.
That doesn't explain why the gun was in your hands,
Mr. Yates.
I wasn't going to shoot her.
I just-- I wanted to scare her.
Like she scares the public
with her vicious and hateful lies.
The gun must've fired
because of the way my hand was twitching.
Twitching uncontrollably because of the Parkinson's?
That's right.
I would never intentionally hurt anyone.
Thank you, Mr. Yates.
You knew that Miss Barlow would--
Strike that.
When exactly did--
Don't you think it was risky...
to hold a loaded gun
in a hand that shakes uncontrollably?
Yes, I do.
But my attorney tells me that's still not murder.
(McCoy) I see.
Did you work in the lab the day of the murder, Mr. Yates?
Yes.
Must be difficult working with microscopic cells
when you're shaking like that.
Oh, that's right!
You took your medication that day.
The medication that stops the shaking.
So there shouldn't have been any twitching--
uncontrollable or otherwise--
in the auditorium that night,
isn't that right?
Of course it is!
You went there, you drew your weapon,
you intentionally pulled the trigger,
trying to kill Judith Barlow.
Isn't that true?
She said...
that the lives of the embryos
we use to harvest stem cells
were just as valuable as the lives of people like me.
I am better than cells in a petri dish!
So was your dead friend Jason.
And so, like it or not, is Ms. Barlow.
Have you reached a verdict?
On the sole count of the indictment,
murder in the second degree,
we find the defendant Malcolm Yates...
guilty.
[gavel bangs]
[whispering]
I thought we were DOA when the judge refused
to instruct on manslaughter.
I guess the jury didn't find Barlow
as despicable as we figured.
Or Yates as sympathetic.
What's that say about 12 ordinary citizens?
You know, you never did say
which side of the stem cell fence
you come down on.
I don't talk politics, Connie.
You are crazy if you think
I'm gonna let you get off that easy.
You'll keep pushing?
Yeah, I'm famous for it. Fine.
I think...
if God created man in His image,
maybe we've all just degenerated
from whatever is floating around
in that petri dish.
Come on. I'll buy you a drink.