(bird chirping)
(gentle brass music)
(gentle music)
(pigs grunting)
(upbeat music)
- And first prize for the best pig at Avonlea Winter Fair
goes to Mr. Pat Frewen and his pig Lulabelle.
- Oh, Pat.
Oh, Pat, I knew you'd win.
I knew that Lulabelle would win.
- Congratulations, Mr. Frewen.
It's a fine pig you've got there.
- Thank you.
Thank you, folks!
- Excuse me, excuse me.
You said that you would come to tea after the fair.
We could celebrate Lulabelle's win.
I made butter tarts in case you won.
- Lulabelle don't like butter tarts, Theodora,
you know that.
- No, the butter tarts are for you, Pat.
- Poor Theodora, 20 years and she's still
throwing herself at Pat Frewen.
I'll bet my back teeth she'll never drag him up the aisle.
- Oh, it's a crying shame.
The poor man's got cold feet, but she won't give up.
- Cold feet?
He's plain stingy, that's what.
- It's her.
It's Pigeon Plumtree, Sara's cousin.
- It's her.
- Whoa.
(slow music)
Whoa, easy, whoa
- She hasn't changed a bit since the last time she was here.
- Pigeon Plumtree's my favorite actress.
Let's see if we can get a better look at her.
- Ooh.
(upbeat music)
- [Theodora] But, but, but Pat.
- Somebody kindlyy pick up my valise.
- Coming, Ms. Plumtree.
I'll get it.
Welcome back, Ms. Plumtree.
I remember the first time I saw you
perform in Charlottetown 20 years ago.
- Thank you, my dear man.
- Isn't she just gorgeous?
Sara's just going to die when she finds out
that we saw her cousin first.
Come on.
- Goodbye.
To the White Sands, driver.
- [Sara] Now, have I forgotten anything?
- It's not the Queen coming to dinner, you know, Sara.
Ms. Plumtree is just a plain ordinary woman.
- But, she isn't just a plain ordinary woman, Aunt Hetty.
She's a world famous stage actress.
- Well, I have no time for actresses.
Vain, useless creatures.
- [Sara] But she's a--
- Hetty, acting is noble profession.
You make the children at school recite poetry all the time.
That's acting.
- Reciting poetry isn't acting.
It's memory work.
Oh, it's completely different.
Actors, actors are deceivers.
People who pretend to be someone else
for a living aren't right in the head.
- Sara. - We've seen her.
- Sara, she's here. - Ms. Plumtree.
We saw her buggy.
Oh, Sara, she's utterly magnificent.
Her hat was gorgeous.
Oh, and her cape.
Her cape was just--
- Don't leave out a word.
I'm all goosebumps.
- She must be filthy rich.
She had suitcases piled to the sky.
Everyone in town was staring.
- [Felicity] I can't believe she's coming here for dinner.
(upbeat music)
- [Pigeon] To Rose Cottage, please driver.
- [Driver] Yes, Ma'am.
- [Sara] Oh, Aunt Hetty, this table is never going to do.
- Oh, Sara, for heaven's sake.
Leave that table alone.
- [Felicity] Can you see the buggy yet, Aunt Olivia?
- [Olivia] No, not yet.
- Felix, Felicity, go home.
- But, Aunt Hetty, I just want to see what she's wearing.
Can't we wait?
- No, I don't want the two of you standing around gawking
as if you've never seen a dress before.
Now, run along, both of you.
- I promise I'll take careful note
on every stitch she's wearing.
- I don't care what she's wearing.
Just save me some cake.
- Here comes the buggy!
Quick, light the candles!
(upbeat music)
- Where are the matches?
- There.
All right, shh.
Uh, uh, yes.
Oh gosh, careful, Sara.
Careful, you'll burn the house down.
All this fuss over nothing.
Olivia, Olivia, move the pot.
Move the pot.
Children.
Children, I thought I told you to leave.
Now, go.
(door knocking)
- [All] I'll get it!
- I am mistress of the house.
I'll get it.
Ah, Ms. Plumbush, tree.
I'm Aunt Hetty, I'm Sara's aunt.
And this is Felicity and--
- Hello. - Felix King.
They're Sara's cousins.
- Hello.
- They're just leaving.
- Darlings, darlings, darlings, must you leave so soon?
The evening has just begun.
So, this is Rose Cottage.
Oh, what a perfectly dear little place.
So cozy.
So teensy-tiny.
However do you all fit in such
an infinitesimal little space?
Now, which of you two adorable girls is my cousin Sara?
Let me see.
You.
I'd know you anywhere.
You shine like a beacon in the night.
Dear heart.
Come, dear child.
Come, kiss cousin Pidgey-Poo.
- Pidgey-Poo?
- It's so nice to meet you, Ms. Plumtree.
- Sara, darling, stop right there.
Stop right there.
Now, we are family, dearest, you must call me Pigeon.
- Pigeon.
May I introduce to you my Aunt Olivia.
- How do you do?
- Thank you.
- This is my Aunt Hetty.
- Aunt Hetty, darling, where have you been hiding?
I'm so delighted to make your acquaintance.
How quaint.
You've made a little snack.
- Snack?
We've been cooking for two days.
- What a shame.
Oh, what a shame.
I have a very delicate stomach, diverticulitis.
You know, little bumps in the stomach lining.
Very tender, I rarely eat.
I have vertigo as well.
Makes me quite bilious if I look at food.
- Ah, Ms. Plumtree, Pigeon, won't you sit down?
Have some tea perhaps?
- Some tea?
I'm sorry, darling, tea upsets my nerves.
I could manage a small fizz however
with just a nip of gin and some seltzer water.
- Ah well, I mean, we don't partake
of spirits in this house.
- No, no.
No, I wouldn't imagine you would.
Perhaps you have a little something
a little sweet we could eat?
- How about those imported chocolates
that we were saving, Aunt Hetty?
- Absolutely not.
I purchased those last March.
They're a, they're a King tradition.
They mustn't be open til Christmas.
- We do have some elderberry wine we could offer you.
- A glass of wine will settle my dizzy spells.
(upbeat music)
- I know exactly where it is.
- Don't you want to move closer to me, darling.
Sara, you know, the more I look at you,
the more I see your dear, departed father.
The eyes, the nose, definitely.
Sara looks exactly like our Great Aunt Eugenie.
- [Sara] I do?
- Right down to the fingernails.
Great Aunt Eugenie was not only a spectacular beauty,
but an actress of great renown.
Acting is very much a family tradition.
- Along with diverticulitis and vertigo, I have no doubt.
- A family tradition?
Really?
Ms. Plumtree?
Pigeon.
(laughing)
I've always dreamed of becoming an actress.
- Since when?
Last week it was a singer.
Before that it was a writer.
Acting, it can hardly be said that acting develops the mind.
- Au contraire, Ms. King.
Acting is excellent training for the mind.
Why, I can recite all of Shakespeare's plays by memory.
I've played all the most important leading ladies, you know,
in the course of my illustrious career.
- I certainly don't intend that Sara
become a leading lady of anything.
- Pigeon, I adore Romeo and Juliet.
Do you think that one day I could play Juliet?
- It is part of your heritage,
dear heart, it is in your blood.
- [Sara] It is?
- Perhaps you could come visit me tomorrow
at the White Sands Hotel.
We could become better acquainted.
I'd very much like to show you my album of family portraits.
I always carry it with me wherever I travel
as kind of a memento mori, you know,
to spur me on to greater heights.
You will see your amazing resemblance to Great Aunt Eugenie.
Goodness, I've drunk so much my back teeth are floating.
I do feel a crushing headache coming on, however.
Sara, darling, I believe you mentioned
something about imported chocolates.
Chocolate is very good for headaches,
if I remember correctly.
- Go on, Sara, give her the chocolates.
Certainly wouldn't want to have
your headache on my conscience too.
(slow music)
- Thank you very much, Mrs. Lawson.
- If I were you, Theodora,
I wouldn't stand for it for another minute.
- But, I love him.
- What is love without a ring on your finger?
Either he proposes or you get rid of him.
- Get rid of him?
- [Woman] Yes, find someone else.
- Maybe he just needs more time.
- Time?
God created the world in seven days.
Pat Frewen had 20 years
and he's still just thinking about you.
Theodora, the writing is on the wall.
And it's time you packed your hope chest for somebody else.
- But I love him.
(slow music)
Excuse me, ladies.
- Well.
- Ms. Dixon?
You dropped your embroidery.
- Oh, Sara, what good is embroidery?
I might as well burn my hope chest.
Pat Frewen will never marry me.
- You can't give up.
- Well, that's just it.
I never have given up.
Ever since I first met that man 20 years ago.
I knew he was the only man for me.
I've been very patient.
The only thing I worry about is that everybody else is right
and he really is a lost cause.
- No, Theodora.
He's only a lost cause when you stop trying.
- Trying?
Oh, Sara, I've tried everything under the sun.
What do you think, Sara?
What would you do?
- Well, it really isn't any of my business.
- Oh, now.
- I have to get going.
I'm a guest for dinner, but I'll think about it.
- You will?
- I promise I'll try and think of something.
- Oh, bless you, Sara.
You are not like the others.
I really would appreciate any little suggestions,
however silly they may seem.
Well, bye.
- Bye, Ms. Dixon.
- Congratulations, Pat.
- [Pat] Thanks, Orville.
- Mr. Frewen, hello.
What are you doing way out here?
- Oh, I'm just out for a stroll
over to the White Sands Inn, just kind of looking around.
What are you doing here?
- I'm going to pay a visit to my cousin,
Ms. Plumtree, the famous actress.
- Oh, Pigeon Plumtree's your cousin?
Oh, don't that beat all.
- [Sara] I've been thinking about you, Mr. Frewen.
- You have?
- I know all about your problem.
- You do?
- I have a feeling you're confused
about a certain lovely lady.
- I got her on the brains something awful.
It's making me real nervous.
- You know what I think, Mr. Frewen? (slow music)
You're worrying too much.
You should follow your heart and court the lady.
- Court her?
I couldn't do that.
- [Sara] Why not?
- She'd never have me.
- You're very wrong, Mr. Frewen.
She's in love with you.
- She's in love with me?
How could she be?
- She's deeply in love with you.
She has been for 20 years.
She even remembers the first time she laid eyes on you.
She confided in me.
It was love at first sight.
- I don't mind telling ya,
I also find her mighty attractive.
- That's all fine and good,
but she just assumes that you're not interested in her.
- That's all wrong.
I don't know what to do.
I mean, where do I start?
- Perhaps I can help you.
Aunt Hetty has a book of etiquette at home
and there's a chapter on courting.
I'll bring it over as soon as possible.
- You're positive about this?
- Don't worry about a thing, Mr. Frewen.
Well, I mustn't keep Ms. Plumtree waiting.
I'll see you later, Mr. Frewen.
(upbeat music)
- The Stanleys have been involved
in the arts for many generations, darling.
And this, dear child, is Great Aunt Eugenie.
- It is?
But she doesn't look the least bit like me.
- Outwardly?
Oh, no, no, no.
Inwardly.
- [Sara] Inwardly?
- The spirit, the fire, the charm.
You have it all, I see it in your eyes.
Did you know that Great Aunt Eugenie
was the world's most renowned expert on dying?
- Dying?
- Oh, yes.
Actresses would come from all over the globe
to learn how to die from Aunt Eugenie.
To die, to sleep.
To sleep perchance to dream.
Aye, there's the rub.
- Pigeon, are you all right?
- I'm fine, dear child. (laughs)
That was an Aunt Eugenie death scene. (laughs)
Now, you try it.
Now, dear heart, you must project.
- To be, or not to be, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
and by opposing end them?
- Excellent, darling.
Go on, go on.
- To die, to sleep.
To sleep perchance to dream.
Aye, there's the rub.
- Now, that was a death scene.
Aunt Eugenie would be terribly proud.
- Pigeon, I'll never be as talented as you are.
- You have inherited her magic, her cloak of greatness.
- Me?
- Fate has brought us together.
Perhaps in my humble way I may be able
to pass the legacy onto you.
I am a great believer in fate.
I feel Aunt Eugenie in the room with us.
Her spirit is here, I can sense it.
- Pigeon, you're giving me the chills.
- Poor child.
Your Aunt Hetty has provided you
with such a dry life here in Avonlea.
It is my duty to enrich it, I see it clearly.
- My life isn't dry.
Aunt Hetty does her best.
- Oh, of course she does, darling, of course she does.
I only meant that the artistic soil is rather barren here.
Surely your tender soul thirsts for some drama.
- I do adore drama.
You're right about that.
- Then it's settled.
I won't rest until impart the world's oldest art form,
the art of drama to you.
- Pigeon, I'll work so hard.
I'll make you proud of me, I will.
I'm so excited I could just cry.
- Darling child, never cry unless it's a part in a play.
Crying ruins the eyes and it makes
one's nose a ghastly shade of red.
Remember my motto, Sara.
Shed no tears unless you are paid to do it.
I've cried far too much in my life.
- You've cried?
(slow music)
You have everything.
What have you got to cry about?
- Plenty.
Parts I didn't get.
Children I didn't have.
Men I didn't marry.
- Were you ever in love?
- Only once that mattered.
I was very young.
He was very dashing.
I turned him down because I wanted the stage
more than I wanted him.
I lived to regret it.
- She said Great Aunt Eugenie's spirit
was in the room with us.
She's passing her legacy onto me.
She performed great death scenes, you know?
She just made seem all so real.
I could just hang on every syllable.
- Hogwash.
H-O-G-W-A-S-H, hogwash.
Whatever you're rummaging for, Sara, stop it.
I don't want a mess in here.
Now, the ladies from the Improvement Society
are coming over.
- I thought we had a book of etiquette
somewhere around here.
I thought I could remember seeing it around here someplace.
- Oh, yes, that.
No, Felicity made off with it ages ago.
- I suppose I'll just have to go and ask her for it then.
- Mm.
- I'll bet that Pigeon never had to learn etiquette.
She just strikes me as the type who, who's born perfect.
- Nobody's perfect, child.
Here, calm yourself a bit
and have some nice tea, hm?
- Now, darling, I know that tea
is marvelous for the kidneys,
but I simply must rush off to see Felicity.
- Sara Stanley, I'll have you know,
young ladies do not discuss their kidneys--
- [Sara] Goodbye, dear heart.
- In public.
(door banging)
(upbeat music)
- Theodora's going to thank us for this. (door knocking)
Mr. Frewen.
Mr. Frewen, are you in there?
Mr. Frewen?
We brought you that book on etiquette that I told you about.
- Oh, that's awful nice of you, Sara.
Hello there, Felicity.
But maybe we should just forget the whole thing.
- [Sara] But why, Mr. Frewen?
- I kind of got the jitters.
I feel like I hardly know the woman.
- Mr. Frewen, you must stand firm.
This book has everything
you could ever possibly want to know about courting.
There's a chapter in here on compliments.
It says that you're supposed to whisper
sweet nothings into your lady friend's ear.
- What's a sweet nothing?
- There's one right here.
It says, Dearest, your eyes are like violets.
- Well, what if her eyes ain't like violets?
- Well, I think you're supposed to say it anyway.
- Oh, there's another chapter in here
on the art of writing love letters.
- Love letters?
She'd laugh at me.
- No, she wouldn't, Mr. Frewen.
It's a terribly romantic thing to do.
- Listen to this one.
Dearest one.
As I sit here in the moonlight
thinking of your delicate face,
your tender eyes, your flawless complexion.
There are lots of other ones in this chapter.
We'll leave the book with you
and you can choose one that you like. How's that?
- Bah.
- All you have to do is copy one out and send it to her.
You'll sweep her off her feet, we promise.
- Oh, and uh, Mr. Frewen?
If I were you I'd also read the chapter
on how a gentleman should dress.
- What's wrong with the way that I dress?
- Nothing much.
I just think that your wardrobe
could do with a little perking up, that's all.
- And, if you don't mind my saying so,
I think that you could invest in a shaving.
Perhaps even a haircut too.
- I can see this is going to set me back a bundle.
(upbeat music)
- Mr. Frewen?
Try to remember, a faint heart never won a fair lady.
- Bye.
Well, Lulabelle, I guess
if she's Pigeon Plumtree's cousin
she must know more than I do.
- And so, ladies, I am proud to say
we have accomplished a great deal
in the last year toward the beautification
of our village and its surrounds.
We've painted the school.
And replaced--
- Don't worry about your problem, Ms. Dixon.
Things are moving in the right direction.
- Oh, Sara, I hope so.
- Sara, please, sit down and don't interrupt.
- But, ladies, we still have an eyesore to deal with.
Perhaps as treasurer, Theodora, you'd, um, elaborate.
- As you know, ever since Thomas Bickle's barn
burned to the ground, he has not lifted a baby finger
to remove the charcoal remains, let alone rebuild.
I am afraid that we will have to
take matters into our own hands.
Unfortunately, even though we've already had a bake sale
and a rummage sale, we are still short of funds.
Does anyone have any fresh ideas
as to how we can raise more money?
Yes, Sara?
- Maybe Ms. Plumtree could give a recitation.
(Hetty laughing)
Everyone would pay to hear her, I'm sure of it.
- I wouldn't be too sure of that, Sara.
- What a wonderful idea, Sara.
It's a natural opportunity for an organization
like ours to take advantage of.
Ladies, let's put it to a vote.
Everyone in favor of asking Pigeon Plumtree
to recite, raise your hands.
Hetty?
Passed.
(upbeat music)
- But, dearest, I would be thrilled
to recite for your little, what's it?
Improvement Society.
- It's a very good cause, Pigeon.
Mr. Bickle's barn burned down.
It's right at the crossroad to Carmody
and well, the town needs it restored desperately.
- Really?
I don't believe I've ever performed
for a barn burning before.
- It's a barn raising.
- Well, you tell your little Avonlea ladies
that I will recite.
Provided, of course, my darling Sara recites along with me.
- Pigeon.
What shall I say?
I'd be honored to.
- Good.
All the more reasons to begin your acting lessons at once.
You must come here everyday after school.
- Absolutely not.
I should've put my foot down the minute
that woman breezed into my house.
Ate up all my good chocolates.
Gin fizz, indeed.
Well, Blair Stanley's side of the family are all
a bunch of misfits, come to think of it,
especially the artsy ones.
- She won't recite unless I do.
You don't want me to tell the Improvement Society
you're against the fundraiser, do you?
- Oh no, I, yes, charity is charity I suppose.
But I am warning you, Sara.
If you pursue this acting nonsense,
that Pigeon person will have you running off
gallivanting halfway around the world like, like a gypsy.
- I wouldn't do that, Aunt Hetty.
- No, that's what your mother said.
And off she went, every way the wind blew.
- Now, Hetty.
- And before I know it, poof.
You'll be gone too, just like your mother.
And forever no doubt.
Good grief.
What is Pat Frewen doing lurking about out there?
- [Sara] He's come to see me.
- [Hetty] What on Earth for, Sara?
- The dear heart.
He leads such a small barren life.
I feel it's my duty to enrich his dry little existence.
- That will be quite enough
of the patronizing affectation, Sara.
It's wrong to meddle with people's lives, you know.
Oh, don't go bringing that man in here.
I will not have my house
smelling like a barnyard, thank you.
- You needn't worry, darling.
I'm on my way then.
(upbeat music)
- I wrote the little miss my love letter,
but I'm feeling a bit awkward.
You know, about actually mailing it.
- Mr. Frewen, you can't hold on to that letter forever.
Just mail it.
Mr. Wilkins, we have a letter for you.
Here you are.
Thank you.
Now that we've mailed that letter,
we can't just stop there.
No, Mr. Frewen.
Let's go for that haircut and shave we talked about.
You can't go courting without a haircut, come on.
(upbeat music)
- [Woman] Pat Frewen's getting a shave and a haircut.
- [Woman] Theodora, quickly, come see.
- Ladies like men who are clean shaven and who smell nice.
- What's smelling got to do with it?
- A lot.
Not many people like the smell of a barnyard.
- Cologne, Mr. Frewen, have a whiff.
(Pat sniffing)
- What's those things?
They hair pieces?
How much?
- Well, seeing as how you're going courting
and I'm only through here every couple of weeks, 50 cents.
My best possible price.
(upbeat music)
- Sold.
This courting rigmarole sure eats into a pocket book.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.
- Excuse me.
- [Woman] Maybe there's hope for you yet, Theodora.
- I'll take this one.
- You won't be sorry you spent your money
on your appearance, Mr. Frewen.
You look like quite the gentleman.
Well, I better hurry.
Ms. Plumtree's giving me acting lessons,
I don't want to be late.
- Ooh, you say hello for me.
- I will.
And remember, appearances don't make the man
but they certainly help.
(upbeat music)
(woman clearing throat)
- More milk, Sara.
Thank you.
Dab some on your face.
Remember, in the theater your face is your fortune.
- Aunt Hetty says that beauty is only skin deep.
- Yes, well, Cleopatra bathed in milk
and she went a tad further in life than your Aunt Hetty.
Bathe in milk once a day, darling,
and you will have skin like a baby's bottom.
- Here's one, Pigeon.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever,
its loveliness increases,
it will never pass into nothingness.
- Exquisite, darling.
But, I think it is time now for your elocution lessons.
Repeat after me.
Betty Botter bought some butter,
but, said she, this butter's bitter.
- Betty Botter bought some butter,
but, said she, this butter's bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
But if I buy some better butter,
it will make my batter better.
So, Betty Botter bought some better butter
and made her batter better.
- For heaven's sake, Sara.
What is that dreadful gibberish?
- It's a tongue-twister.
Pigeon says that it's part of my acting lessons.
And practice makes perfect.
- Practice makes perfect, indeed.
You'd be better off doing your homework, my girl.
Which, I may add, has been sadly neglected
since that ridiculous woman came to town.
- Pigeon says I can do homework anytime.
Right now I have special abilities that need to be nurtured.
- Oh, and she's the only one
that can nurture them, is that it?
- Sara, would you mind running upstairs
and getting me my darning basket?
Thank you.
Hetty, you've done nothing but criticize
Pigeon Plumtree morning, noon and night.
And where has it gotten you?
Nowhere.
- We have to rehearse for the recital, Pigeon.
(upbeat music)
- Well, well, well. (laughs)
Sara, it seems I have an admirer here in Avonlea.
Well, I, well I just can't resist a man
who sounds so charming.
And so cultured.
Oh, merciful God, he wants to lunch with me today.
Good heavens, I must get dressed immediately.
One never knows where this surprise little lunches may lead.
- You said practice makes perfect.
- I did?
Well, darling, I can't let a little rehearsal
for your silly little, what, what is it?
Improvement Society.
Keep me from meeting a gentleman of this caliber.
- But you said the show must go on.
- Of course it must.
But, darling, surprise little lunches like these
don't often happen to a lonely thespian like myself.
I have been a highly prolific celebrity
for far too many years to let an opportunity like this
slip through my fingers when it comes knocking at my door.
Now, darling, run along.
The show will have to wait.
Now, which hat should I wear?
No.
- [Pat] Good day, Madame.
May I kiss your hand?
Ms. Plumtree, may I kiss your hand?
How'd you do, Madame?
Pleased to meet your acquaintance.
- [Hetty] We'll be expecting about 50 people.
- Very good, Ms. King.
Though I think you can expect a greater crowd than 50.
Many of our guests have expressed an interest
in hearing Ms. Plumtree recite, you know.
- Really, I--
- Sara, there's Pat Frewen.
What on Earth is he doing here?
- [Sara] Maybe we better find out.
- Your menu.
- Uh, (clears throat) Ms. Plumtree?
How'd you do?
- Good day.
- Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Kiss your hand, Madame?
- My good man, would you excuse me?
I'm expecting a guest.
- Oh, that's me.
Pat Frewen's the name.
It was me that wrote that letter.
- You?
You are not at all like what I,
what I would have expected.
What exactly do you do?
- I'm a farmer.
A pig farmer, to be specific.
(slow music)
The best pork in P.E. Island.
Now, I hear via the grapevine
that you've been pining for me for 20 years.
Well, I just want to take this opportunity
to let you know that the feeling is mutual.
- Stop right there.
I believe you have dropped something.
I suggest you take it and leave.
(slow music)
Never would a highly acclaimed professional like myself
be the slightly bit interested in someone of your ilk.
No matter how remarkable your pork.
- But we have a lot in common.
- Ha ha, you must be dreaming.
- Now, now, Theodora.
- No, no, now Theodora.
Let's just talk this over.
- [Theodora] You're nothing but a two timer.
Good day.
- Oh!
- Mr. Frewen, I feel awful about this.
It's been all my fault.
- No, it is much my fault as it is yours.
I went and wrote that love letter.
- I never dreamed that you meant to court Ms. Plumtree.
I thought that you were hoping to court Theodora Dixon.
- Oh Sara, I made a fool of myself.
I probably lost her forever.
Only got myself to blame.
- Sara.
So, you went back and saw her, did you?
Good.
Oh, I hope you learned your lesson, young lady.
- I have.
- You told Ms. Plumtree that you were
at the bottom of all this, didn't you?
- Well, I did, but all she could do was laugh hysterically.
I finally got annoyed and left.
There was no use talking to her.
(door knocking)
- Sara, darling, why did you leave so quickly?
Where is your sense of humor, child?
- There was nothing funny
in what you said to Mr. Frewen, Pigeon.
Embarrassing him like that, in front of all those people.
- But, Sara.
Think of what a funny stage play it would make.
This pathetic little pig farmer from nowhere
presuming that he can court someone of my renown? (laughs)
- But that's just it, Pigeon.
It isn't a stage.
(slow music)
The least you could've done was spoken to him kindly.
He's a real person and you hurt his feelings.
- Oh, dear heart--
- You're always saying dear heart this
and darling child that, but you don't mean it.
You don't really care about me.
The only one that you care about is yourself.
- It grieves me to admit it, but you are right.
I've spent so many years play acting
that I forget what is real and what is not.
Oh, please forgive me.
Is there any way that I can prove to you
that I'm not some terrible old dragon?
Is it too late?
- It's never too late, Pigeon.
- Well, bear with me then.
I think I have a plan.
- [Sara] Mr. Frewen.
Mr. Frewen, are you in there?
- Mr. Frewen, if you don't mind,
may I have a word with you?
- I don't want to talk to her, Sara.
- Mr. Frewen, I know how you feel.
But please, for Theodora's sake, just listen.
- Please, Mr. Frewen, let me apologize.
I was abominably rude and insensitive to the,
excuse me, miscommunication we were both under.
And I feel so dreadfully sorry about it.
- You are?
- Oh, yes.
From the bottom of my heart I am. (screams)
Dear me.
I'm really so sorry.
I could just die.
I feel so badly about this.
With your permission, I would like very much to help you
win back the love of your dear Theodora.
- Forget it, it's a lost cause.
She don't want me.
- Please, talk to her.
(slow music)
Just one more time.
- I can't disappoint the Improvement Society,
but under the circumstances I don't think that I would want
to set foot in the same room as that woman.
I would be happy to collect receipts when it's all over.
- Now, now, Ms. Dixon, you know how people will talk.
You don't want everyone to think
that you're jealous of Pigeon Plumtree, do you?
(upbeat music)
(audience applauding)
- The owl and the pussycat went to sea
in a beautiful pea green boat.
- They took some honey and plenty of money
wrapped in a five pound note.
- The owl looked up to the stars above
and sang to a small guitar.
- Oh, lovely Pussy, oh Pussy, my love,
what a beautiful pussy you are.
- [Both] What a beautiful pussy you are.
- Pussy said to the owl, you elegant fowl,
how charmingly sweet you sing.
- Oh let us be married, too long we have tarried,
but what shall we do for a ring?
- They sailed away for a year and a day
to the land where the bong tree grows
- [Sara] And there in the wood a piggy-wig stood
with a ring at the end of his nose.
- [Both] His nose, his nose.
With a ring at the end of his nose.
- Dear Pig, are you willing
to sell for one shilling your ring?
- Said the piggy, I will.
So they took it away and were married next day.
- By the turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince.
- Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand on the edge of the sand
they danced by the light of the moon.
- [Sara] The moon, the moon,
they danced by the light of the moon.
(audience applauding)
- Thank you, thank you, one and all.
On behalf of my cousin, Sara Stanley and myself,
I wish to make a personal donation.
Ms. Theodora Dixon, as treasurer
of the Avonlea Village Improvement Society,
would you kindly step to the front
to accept this small token of my support
for your worthy organization?
- Go on, go on.
- [Woman] Theodora, get up there. (laughs)
- On behalf of the Avonlea Village Improvement Society
I would like to extend my heartiest thanks
for, for your generous contribution to our fund.
(audience gasping)
- [Man] Well, well.
(audience applauding)
- Oh, not so fast, dear.
Ladies and gentlemen, just one final word.
While the people in the community thought
that I was coaching Sara Stanley, my talented protege,
how to act, in truth I was also coaching
someone else in a matter of the heart.
I was helping a very nice man who wanted to learn
the correct way of speaking to woman he loves.
(slow music)
- Come on, Mr. Frewen.
Mr. Frewen.
- Theodora, I ain't much.
And I know I made a fool of myself.
But I love you, and I wish you'd be my wife.
And let's just get this thing over with.
- Oh, for heaven's sake.
Get up off your knees.
Donate $10 to the Improvement Society and I will say yes.
- Make it five.
- 10, or I will say no.
- You drive a hard bargain.
But you're worth it.
10 it is.
(audience applauding)
- Hetty, dearest, I'm afraid
I must leave Avonlea in the morning
as I am starting a new tour.
- Oh, have a good trip then.
I do hope the um, diverticulitis
doesn't flare up too badly and--
- Adieu, dear heart, I shall miss you.
- We'll never forget you, Pigeon.
Will we, Aunt Hetty?
- How could we forget?
Oh, come along.
Now, I know you're never very hungry, Ms. Plumtree,
what with one thing or another, but we do indeed
have some lovely cakes and perhaps you'd do us
the honor of partaking in the, Felix.
Here, go on, have a smidgen, Pigeon.
Smidgen, Pigeon, rhymes.
- (laughs) Yes, it does.
(audience applauding)
(gentle music)
(bird chirping)
(slow music)