1
00:00:02,504 --> 00:00:05,799
<i>Whoa, Wilbur! Here I go!</i>

2
00:00:06,216 --> 00:00:08,427
<i>I'm running pretty good now.</i>
<i>I'm gonna jump.</i>

3
00:00:08,677 --> 00:00:11,638
<i>Oh, I got wings and I'm flying!</i>

4
00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:15,183
<i>TriStar Pictures,</i>
<i>where anything can happen.</i>

5
00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:29,841
Is your diaphragm in?

6
00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:39,226
<i>Okay, now let me see</i>
<i>if I got this straight.</i>

7
00:01:39,643 --> 00:01:43,397
<i>Santa Claus is real,</i>
<i>but ghosts aren't real.</i>

8
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:48,443
<i>Cowboys are real,</i>
<i>but witches aren't real.</i>

9
00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:52,406
<i>Dinosaurs aren't real,</i>
<i>and monsters used to be real.</i>

10
00:01:52,614 --> 00:01:55,534
<i>Or was it the other way around?</i>
<i>I gotta listen more.</i>

11
00:01:55,742 --> 00:02:00,706
<i>Because it's dark doesn't mean monsters</i>
<i>are coming out. These are my toys.</i>

12
00:02:00,956 --> 00:02:03,458
<i>The same toys that...</i>

13
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:07,838
<i>I don't remember it having batteries,</i>
<i>but I'm sure that it's fine.</i>

14
00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:10,674
<i>I'm sure that there's a...</i>
<i>Oh, oh.</i>

15
00:02:11,633 --> 00:02:13,468
<i>Oh, my God!</i>

16
00:02:13,719 --> 00:02:14,928
<i>Monsters!</i>

17
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,972
<i>There's monsters in my room!</i>

18
00:02:17,472 --> 00:02:19,558
<i>Maybe I should get</i>
<i>under the covers now.</i>

19
00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:41,329
- I have to get that.
- He'll stop.

20
00:02:41,538 --> 00:02:42,873
- No, he won't stop.
- All right.

21
00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:44,708
- Help! Monsters!
- I'll do it.

22
00:02:47,169 --> 00:02:49,546
No, don't read
your accounting magazines.

23
00:02:49,796 --> 00:02:51,840
- Why not?
- It gets you out of the mood.

24
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:54,760
Monsters! Monsters!

25
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,386
You behave.

26
00:02:58,472 --> 00:02:59,723
Okay, Mike, I'm coming.

27
00:02:59,973 --> 00:03:01,808
- Monsters!
- Monsters?

28
00:03:02,059 --> 00:03:05,187
There's no monsters.
See? Do you see any monsters?

29
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:07,147
<i>Well, yeah.</i>

30
00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:09,649
It was Popeye.
Yeah, he was the one.

31
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:14,863
I'll take that Gumby and I'll knock
him from here to kingdom come.

32
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:18,492
<i>I think my daddy likes these toys</i>
<i>more than I do.</i>

33
00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:21,620
Who else? Pee-wee? No.

34
00:03:23,872 --> 00:03:26,500
<i>I wonder if he'll do</i>
<i>the flying turd gag now.</i>

35
00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:28,919
Watch out, Mikey, it's a flying turd!

36
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:33,548
- Go to bed.
<i>- You're crazy.</i>

37
00:03:33,799 --> 00:03:36,885
- Good night, honey.
<i>- Good night. I'll tuck myself in.</i>

38
00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:39,930
- Is that good?
<i>- Why did I call you in here?</i>

39
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,725
Oh, come on, Mollie!

40
00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:47,813
I told you not to read this.
Now get up. Get up, honey.

41
00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:50,399
- Oh, I can't.
- Why?

42
00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:54,611
I got him to go to sleep. We never
get to do it anymore. Please?

43
00:03:54,861 --> 00:03:56,863
Please get up, honey.

44
00:03:57,114 --> 00:03:59,157
- I'm sleeping.
- I know.

45
00:03:59,408 --> 00:04:02,327
You wouldn't have any fun doing it
while I'm sleeping.

46
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,996
Well, it's never stopped us before.

47
00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:33,483
<i>Hey, what's going on out there?</i>
<i>Am I hearing things?</i>

48
00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,360
<i>Is somebody there?</i>

49
00:04:52,336 --> 00:04:56,548
<i>- I know where to go, stick with me.</i>
<i>- Yeah, bright idea. Now we're lost.</i>

50
00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:59,092
<i>- Let's go where they're going.</i>
<i>- I been there.</i>

51
00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:05,098
<i>Who is it? Who is it?</i>
<i>What do you want? Go away!</i>

52
00:05:05,682 --> 00:05:07,768
<i>Tail, don't fail me now.</i>

53
00:05:07,976 --> 00:05:11,104
<i>- We're the guys. We're the winners.</i>
<i>- I think I can.</i>

54
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:14,107
<i>Come on. Let's go. Let's go.</i>

55
00:05:14,316 --> 00:05:16,985
<i>We're in. We're making it.</i>
<i>We're doing it!</i>

56
00:05:17,194 --> 00:05:22,282
<i>Come on, let's go. Keep going.</i>
<i>Keep moving, guys. Please.</i>

57
00:05:22,491 --> 00:05:25,077
<i>- I don't think I can.</i>
<i>- As long as one of us do.</i>

58
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:26,953
<i>Come on, buddy, help me out.</i>

59
00:05:28,497 --> 00:05:32,167
<i>Oh, no! It's the tadpole squad.</i>

60
00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:50,519
<i>You can't bully me.</i>
<i>You can't get through this diaphragm!</i>

61
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:55,774
<i>Guys, I found a way through!</i>
<i>Over here by the rim.</i>

62
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,068
<i>Come on, follow me!</i>

63
00:05:58,485 --> 00:05:59,319
<i>Yes!</i>

64
00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:02,406
<i>Hey, buster, how'd you get in here?</i>
<i>This is my womb.</i>

65
00:06:02,614 --> 00:06:04,324
<i>- Get out of here!</i>
<i>- Here we go.</i>

66
00:06:04,574 --> 00:06:06,576
<i>- You know why I'm here.</i>
<i>- Stop that!</i>

67
00:06:06,827 --> 00:06:08,787
<i>- Give it up.</i>
<i>- Stop doing that!</i>

68
00:06:09,162 --> 00:06:11,081
<i>Let me in, baby. Let me in.</i>

69
00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:13,917
<i>Come on, mama. Come on, hot mama.</i>

70
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,419
<i>You're a hot mama!</i>

71
00:06:20,632 --> 00:06:21,675
<i>Hot mama!</i>

72
00:06:21,883 --> 00:06:23,885
<i>Yes! Yes!</i>

73
00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:36,398
<i>Well, here I am.</i>
<i>All conceived and nowhere to go.</i>

74
00:06:42,946 --> 00:06:45,365
<i>You missed. Go wide!</i>

75
00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:47,784
<i>Look out! Missed him.</i>

76
00:06:49,745 --> 00:06:51,204
Hi, honey.

77
00:06:52,497 --> 00:06:53,707
Hi, babe.

78
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:56,668
Hi, honey.

79
00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,129
- What'd you get for me?
- This isn't for you.

80
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:02,924
This is for you. It is a...

81
00:07:04,384 --> 00:07:08,722
- Don't you think he's a little young?
<i>- That hat's never gonna fit me.</i>

82
00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:11,600
- You tell him.
- I'm not telling him about it.

83
00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:13,060
- You're the guy.
- Forget it.

84
00:07:13,268 --> 00:07:16,313
No. When we have a girl,
I will explain it to her.

85
00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:20,108
Oh, brother!
All right. Here goes.

86
00:07:20,359 --> 00:07:24,988
Mike, this is a potty, okay? When
you want to take a piss you do it...

87
00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:26,907
Don't say piss.

88
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,409
When you want to take
a whiz, you do...

89
00:07:29,659 --> 00:07:32,537
See a man about a horse?
Drain the snake? What do I say?

90
00:07:32,746 --> 00:07:34,081
Pee pee.

91
00:07:34,331 --> 00:07:37,918
- Pee pee's a wimp word.
- No, pee pee is easy for him to say.

92
00:07:38,126 --> 00:07:41,088
When you want to take a pee pee,
you do it in here.

93
00:07:41,338 --> 00:07:43,590
And you do this.
You take it out, okay?

94
00:07:43,799 --> 00:07:45,342
- Oh, come on.
- What?

95
00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:47,886
<i>Dad, who's kidding who?</i>

96
00:07:48,095 --> 00:07:50,597
In the same token,
when you take a dump...

97
00:07:50,806 --> 00:07:51,723
Poo poo.

98
00:07:52,391 --> 00:07:53,433
<i>This is a joke, right?</i>

99
00:07:53,642 --> 00:07:58,397
I know it sounds disgusting,
but you gotta trust me on this, okay?

100
00:07:58,647 --> 00:08:01,775
<i>You want me to take a dump</i>
<i>outside my diaper?</i>

101
00:08:01,983 --> 00:08:03,819
- He doesn't like it.
- He does too.

102
00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:07,531
- He doesn't like it.
- We just have to make it fun for him.

103
00:08:09,491 --> 00:08:12,536
<i>Come along and be my potty boy</i>

104
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:15,414
<i>Come along and be my potty boy</i>

105
00:08:15,622 --> 00:08:18,250
<i>Is this an appropriate subject</i>
<i>for a musical?</i>

106
00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:21,336
<i>And you can potty too</i>
<i>Yes, you</i>

107
00:08:21,545 --> 00:08:24,464
<i>My girl likes to potty all the time</i>

108
00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:27,759
<i>Potty all the time</i>

109
00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:31,096
<i>You got to fight for your right</i>

110
00:08:31,388 --> 00:08:34,224
<i>To potty</i>

111
00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:37,602
<i>You got to fight for your right</i>

112
00:08:37,853 --> 00:08:40,272
<i>To potty</i>

113
00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:43,150
- He doesn't like it.
- He likes it.

114
00:08:43,358 --> 00:08:47,863
<i>I don't care. I ain't pooping</i>
<i>in that thing. I got my standards.</i>

115
00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:49,865
- Your keys!
- Toss them.

116
00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,367
Yo, thanks, babe.

117
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:57,372
- Do you believe?
- You were lucky with the keys.

118
00:08:59,082 --> 00:09:01,543
I was starting to think
I could really love Brad.

119
00:09:01,835 --> 00:09:04,755
Then I noticed this face he made.
Kind of like...

120
00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:07,883
If I said, "What do you want
to do?", there'd be this face.

121
00:09:08,091 --> 00:09:11,386
Or, "How'd you like that movie?"
It's just this face that says:

122
00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:13,263
"I don't know. What do you want?"

123
00:09:13,472 --> 00:09:17,351
Then I had this flash of having kids
and the kids making that face.

124
00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,353
And then I knew it was over.

125
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:22,189
You are deranged.
You know that, don't you?

126
00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:27,194
You know what? If you want a boy,
you eat more sodium-rich food.

127
00:09:27,486 --> 00:09:30,697
- If you want a girl, eat more dairy.
- Really? Who says?

128
00:09:30,906 --> 00:09:34,034
- I read it.
- In the <i>The National Enquirer?</i>

129
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,786
I think <i>The Star.</i>

130
00:09:36,411 --> 00:09:40,374
If you have a preference, act now.
Those sex organs are forming soon.

131
00:09:40,832 --> 00:09:45,462
<i>Let's see, two arms, two legs</i>
<i>and two mouths?</i>

132
00:09:45,754 --> 00:09:48,882
D and what comes up? Dog.

133
00:09:49,091 --> 00:09:52,678
<i>Yeah, yeah. I know all about</i>
<i>computers. Scoot over, girls.</i>

134
00:09:52,886 --> 00:09:57,641
<i>I got a lot of work to do here.</i>
<i>Let's see. I'll just try this one.</i>

135
00:09:57,849 --> 00:10:01,144
<i>And let's see.</i>
<i>What do we get? A jar.</i>

136
00:10:01,353 --> 00:10:04,523
<i>Beautiful. I'm good at this.</i>
<i>I ought to get a job here.</i>

137
00:10:04,773 --> 00:10:07,818
- What are you girls up to?
- Nothing!

138
00:10:08,026 --> 00:10:09,653
What's going on in here?

139
00:10:09,903 --> 00:10:14,032
- I'm getting a funny feeling.
<i>- So this is how grownups get so tall.</i>

140
00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:16,868
We were just finishing up
the Margolis account here.

141
00:10:17,119 --> 00:10:19,079
The Margolis account, huh?

142
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:22,624
You're gonna send Margolis
a spreadsheet with pictures?

143
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:26,294
<i>- Tickle, tickle, tickle.</i>
- Something funny is going on here.

144
00:10:26,503 --> 00:10:27,546
What's that?

145
00:10:27,963 --> 00:10:29,131
<i>What's up, my man?</i>

146
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:32,467
- It looks like a kid.
- It looks like a kid.

147
00:10:32,676 --> 00:10:35,846
I can see that! What is he
doing here? This is not a nursery!

148
00:10:36,054 --> 00:10:39,141
This is the first time I've done this.
It was an emergency.

149
00:10:39,349 --> 00:10:42,519
It was an emergency.
I see what you're up to.

150
00:10:42,728 --> 00:10:47,107
You have a son and you're pregnant,
so you get special consideration.

151
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:50,235
No, I would never ask
for special consideration.

152
00:10:50,444 --> 00:10:54,197
Let me tell you something.
Accountancy is filled with hardship.

153
00:10:54,656 --> 00:10:57,325
It's sacrifice.
If you wanted something easy...

154
00:10:57,534 --> 00:11:00,454
...why didn't you become a dental
hygienist or a car rental person?

155
00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:04,583
When I had a bleeding ulcer
and I came out of the anaesthetic...

156
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:08,337
<i>Somebody's loud and opinionated.</i>
<i>Boy!</i>

157
00:11:08,587 --> 00:11:10,422
No. The first thing I said was:

158
00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:15,135
"Where's my adding machine? Where's
my calculator?" That's what I said!

159
00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:17,220
And let me tell you something else.

160
00:11:19,348 --> 00:11:21,475
<i>Here, shoes, have a drink.</i>

161
00:11:23,769 --> 00:11:27,981
<i>You mess with my mother,</i>
<i>you mess with me.</i>

162
00:11:33,987 --> 00:11:36,907
So how did you arrive
at this figure for your tips?

163
00:11:37,157 --> 00:11:38,575
I guessed.

164
00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:43,288
You kept track for a period of time
and did a projected estimate.

165
00:11:43,538 --> 00:11:44,831
I made it up.

166
00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:47,542
You made it up?

167
00:11:49,211 --> 00:11:52,381
Now, as a flight instructor
you earned...

168
00:11:52,589 --> 00:11:55,384
...$9212?

169
00:11:55,592 --> 00:11:57,719
Really? Hey, that's pretty good.

170
00:11:59,054 --> 00:12:01,473
- You realize that that's only...
- 177.

171
00:12:01,682 --> 00:12:04,518
177 dollars a week.

172
00:12:04,726 --> 00:12:08,188
- It's not my main job.
- You spend most of your time doing it.

173
00:12:08,397 --> 00:12:11,316
<i>He just said it's not his main job.</i>
<i>Cut him some slack.</i>

174
00:12:11,525 --> 00:12:14,945
Since I married, I haven't flown.
I'll never work for an airline.

175
00:12:15,779 --> 00:12:18,824
At this rate there are a lot
of things you won't be doing.

176
00:12:19,032 --> 00:12:22,661
Unlike your son, Stuart,
who's got a plethora of opportunities.

177
00:12:23,912 --> 00:12:27,749
What about Stuart? It's about you,
Mollie and your income tax.

178
00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:30,127
Every two weeks
he calls Mollie for money.

179
00:12:30,377 --> 00:12:34,423
Don't worry. He'll be all right
as soon as he settles down.

180
00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:38,927
He has a degree in accounting, which is
like money in the bank. Unlike you.

181
00:12:41,221 --> 00:12:43,807
What do you say we go out
and get some Carvel?

182
00:12:44,057 --> 00:12:46,309
<i>I got the time if you got the diapers.</i>

183
00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:49,896
Come on, Mike. Come on. Come on.

184
00:12:50,147 --> 00:12:52,441
- I can't believe you did that.
- What did I say?

185
00:12:52,649 --> 00:12:54,985
Ma, you are forever on his case.

186
00:12:55,193 --> 00:12:56,778
He's a slob, he's belligerent.

187
00:12:56,987 --> 00:13:00,115
He has the earning capacity
of an illiterate immigrant.

188
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,076
But I won't say anything
if that's what you want.

189
00:13:03,702 --> 00:13:05,495
That's what I want.

190
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:11,585
That's your baby sister, Julie,
in there. She's kicking.

191
00:13:11,793 --> 00:13:15,339
<i>Now, wait a minute.</i>
<i>My little sister is in my juice cup?</i>

192
00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:18,258
You want to feel it? Here.

193
00:13:19,176 --> 00:13:22,637
- Give me your hand.
<i>- Oh, in there.</i>

194
00:13:24,514 --> 00:13:27,642
<i>Don't you hate it when your head</i>
<i>is caught in your placenta?</i>

195
00:13:27,851 --> 00:13:31,813
<i>I know. Let's play her</i>
<i>a little song, Mom.</i>

196
00:13:32,022 --> 00:13:34,107
<i>This was always good for me.</i>

197
00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:45,577
<i>Oh, now I'll never get</i>
<i>that tune out of my head.</i>

198
00:13:48,664 --> 00:13:52,793
When I have this new baby girl,
I'm gonna need your help, okay?

199
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:54,795
- And you know why?
<i>- Tell me.</i>

200
00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:57,881
Because you're gonna
be Julie's big brother.

201
00:13:58,131 --> 00:14:00,634
<i>All right! Lay one on me.</i>

202
00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:02,719
- Night-night, honey.
<i>- Night-night.</i>

203
00:14:02,969 --> 00:14:05,597
Remember, you're gonna
be her big brother.

204
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:08,517
<i>I'm gonna be a big brother.</i>

205
00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:11,645
<i>I'm gonna be a big brother.</i>

206
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:25,450
<i>Okay, that feels pretty good.</i>

207
00:14:25,701 --> 00:14:27,911
<i>Here we go. In the...</i>

208
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,706
<i>Not in the nose!</i>
<i>Okay, bottoms up.</i>

209
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:44,386
<i>Do you believe what they're asking</i>
<i>for teddy bears? It's a crime.</i>

210
00:14:44,845 --> 00:14:46,930
<i>Well, I think we got everything.</i>

211
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:50,684
<i>Teddy bear, teething rings,</i>
<i>P.J. Sparkles.</i>

212
00:14:50,934 --> 00:14:52,728
<i>Yes, I'll kiss you.</i>

213
00:14:56,773 --> 00:14:58,984
<i>Here you go, Ace. Keep the change.</i>

214
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:03,947
<i>All right, baby, here we go. Gum</i>
<i>this down. No, there's no salt on it.</i>

215
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:17,753
<i>Hey, punk! Get your own toy.</i>
<i>All right, that's it.</i>

216
00:15:19,171 --> 00:15:22,883
<i>I'll rip your lungs out! Give it</i>
<i>to me! What are you smiling at?</i>

217
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:26,219
<i>I guess you never messed with</i>
<i>anybody's big brother before.</i>

218
00:15:26,428 --> 00:15:27,512
<i>Give it!</i>

219
00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:29,056
<i>There you go. Take that.</i>

220
00:15:29,723 --> 00:15:32,976
<i>Here you go, baby. Yeah, you can</i>
<i>put it back in your mouth.</i>

221
00:15:33,185 --> 00:15:37,564
<i>I love you so much.</i>
<i>I'll never let anybody hurt you.</i>

222
00:15:43,028 --> 00:15:45,489
<i>It looks like I got</i>
<i>my work cut out for me.</i>

223
00:15:45,697 --> 00:15:48,533
What did I tell you?
Look at this mess you got us into.

224
00:15:48,784 --> 00:15:51,536
I told you to take 48th.
You should have taken 48th!

225
00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:53,246
48th is just as bad.

226
00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:55,957
Take a quick left.
We'll shoot over to 46th.

227
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:59,127
<i>Poor Daddy, hanging out</i>
<i>with buttholes all day long.</i>

228
00:15:59,336 --> 00:16:01,546
You didn't take the left!

229
00:16:01,755 --> 00:16:03,840
<i>Want to think about</i>
<i>getting toys in here?</i>

230
00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:07,511
<i>I mean, it's lonely in the front seat.</i>

231
00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:09,888
<i>I'll just push this.</i>
<i>That doesn't work.</i>

232
00:16:10,097 --> 00:16:13,058
<i>There we go. There's something.</i>
<i>I think I broke it.</i>

233
00:16:13,308 --> 00:16:16,311
<i>There it goes, right back on.</i>
<i>He didn't even see me.</i>

234
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:18,689
Pull over.
I can walk faster than this.

235
00:16:18,897 --> 00:16:21,191
All right, fine. Walk.
That's...

236
00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:22,776
Two dollars. Here you go.

237
00:16:23,026 --> 00:16:25,195
Wait. My kid must have
pushed the button!

238
00:16:25,404 --> 00:16:27,489
Too bad. Don't bring him to work.

239
00:16:27,698 --> 00:16:29,491
Oh, man!

240
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:31,702
Did you push the button?

241
00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:35,747
<i>Yeah. I think I did.</i>

242
00:16:36,665 --> 00:16:40,919
<i>Want some cookie?</i>
<i>It's a little moist but take a bite.</i>

243
00:16:42,671 --> 00:16:44,548
- Did you bring the shoebox?
- What shoebox?

244
00:16:44,756 --> 00:16:47,092
- Stop fighting.
- Did you look in the closet?

245
00:16:47,342 --> 00:16:49,302
You know what I'm talking about.

246
00:16:57,019 --> 00:17:00,981
All right. Okay. All right.
Come on. All right, all right!

247
00:17:01,189 --> 00:17:06,194
Now, let's discuss
this bad business loan.

248
00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:09,740
Basically, their Uncle Ernie...

249
00:17:09,948 --> 00:17:14,119
...convinced them that it'd be a great
idea to call their restaurant...

250
00:17:14,328 --> 00:17:15,370
...Eat Me Raw.

251
00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:20,625
It was a great idea. It was gonna
have sushi, steak tartar...

252
00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:22,502
...and raw vegetables.

253
00:17:22,711 --> 00:17:25,172
- Crudities.
- Exactly. You know.

254
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:26,882
It had a quixotic quality.

255
00:17:27,090 --> 00:17:30,302
People thought
it was an X-rated movie house.

256
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,513
- But they still wanted to eat there.
- Everybody was offended.

257
00:17:33,722 --> 00:17:35,807
Yes, but they still
wanted to eat there.

258
00:17:36,016 --> 00:17:39,561
- Are you okay?
- I think I'm just going into labour.

259
00:17:41,104 --> 00:17:44,983
<i>That's it. It's time</i>
<i>to blow this pop stand.</i>

260
00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:48,987
<i>Jeez, I'm all cramped.</i>
<i>And this thing!</i>

261
00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:51,448
- Do you want us to reschedule?
- No, no.

262
00:17:51,656 --> 00:17:53,992
You know, these things take hours,
believe me.

263
00:17:54,201 --> 00:17:58,413
All right, let's discuss
this $1200 loss.

264
00:17:58,622 --> 00:18:01,249
- I believe that was the salmon.
- Salmon?

265
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,752
The whole idea of sushi
is that it's fresh.

266
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:08,882
I ate at a five-star restaurant last
week. And they gave me frozen sushi.

267
00:18:09,091 --> 00:18:11,009
- I don't think so.
- I believe so. Cold.

268
00:18:11,218 --> 00:18:14,805
You're so naive
when it comes to frozen sushi.

269
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:18,475
<i>This'll teach me to accessorize.</i>

270
00:18:18,684 --> 00:18:22,354
Did Uncle Ernie have any experience
in the restaurant business?

271
00:18:23,355 --> 00:18:24,398
No.

272
00:18:24,606 --> 00:18:28,652
Ernie was more of an idea man.

273
00:18:29,653 --> 00:18:31,279
That's giving him a lot of credit.

274
00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:32,739
Do you have the books?

275
00:18:32,948 --> 00:18:35,409
- The books. Yeah, books.
- What do you mean?

276
00:18:35,617 --> 00:18:38,453
Papers with numbers on them!
Debits and credits!

277
00:18:38,662 --> 00:18:41,164
- We don't have any of that!
- Do not yell at him!

278
00:18:41,498 --> 00:18:45,127
Ernie was an idiot! It was a stupid
idea and they lost their shirts!

279
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:48,130
So just allow the fucking deduction!

280
00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:56,096
<i>I heard life is short,</i>
<i>but this is ridiculous.</i>

281
00:18:57,014 --> 00:19:00,183
Don't be alarmed.
Now, your baby is in distress.

282
00:19:00,434 --> 00:19:04,104
- What?! What's wrong?
- We're going to do a cesarean.

283
00:19:04,312 --> 00:19:07,482
- Rona! Where is she?
- She's right through there.

284
00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:11,778
Hey, Mikey. You're gonna
be a big brother, doll!

285
00:19:12,029 --> 00:19:13,113
<i>You know what, Rona?</i>

286
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:15,824
<i>I'm just the right kid for the job.</i>

287
00:19:17,326 --> 00:19:20,912
- Did my husband get here yet?
- We called him. He's coming.

288
00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:22,164
Clamp.

289
00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:25,542
- Honey?
- James, the baby's in trouble.

290
00:19:25,792 --> 00:19:28,086
She's okay. She's coming right out.

291
00:19:28,295 --> 00:19:31,298
<i>Well, at least I've achieved</i>
<i>most of my goals.</i>

292
00:19:31,631 --> 00:19:32,966
Sponge. Get that.

293
00:19:34,092 --> 00:19:36,303
Honey, everything's good.

294
00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:37,346
Scissors.

295
00:19:38,263 --> 00:19:39,181
It's okay.

296
00:19:39,389 --> 00:19:41,433
Look at that. Interesting.

297
00:19:41,641 --> 00:19:43,435
Almost there. Just a bit longer.

298
00:19:44,019 --> 00:19:45,354
- Bladder retractor.
- Educational.

299
00:19:45,604 --> 00:19:48,231
- Hold this bladder, please.
- It's kind of...

300
00:19:48,732 --> 00:19:49,858
Let's get this bladder.

301
00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,653
I'm fine. It's...

302
00:19:56,573 --> 00:19:59,493
<i>I guess this is the end.</i>

303
00:20:01,745 --> 00:20:03,246
Here she comes.

304
00:20:03,747 --> 00:20:08,085
<i>No! My neck! My neck!</i>
<i>Hey, you with the scissors!</i>

305
00:20:08,335 --> 00:20:10,170
<i>Cut me some slack here!</i>

306
00:20:10,379 --> 00:20:11,421
There you go.

307
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:16,802
<i>Jeez! For crying out loud!</i>

308
00:20:21,348 --> 00:20:22,849
Is she really okay?

309
00:20:23,141 --> 00:20:24,226
She's fine.

310
00:20:29,147 --> 00:20:30,774
How about him?

311
00:20:31,191 --> 00:20:32,818
He'll be all right.

312
00:20:33,026 --> 00:20:34,319
There you go.

313
00:20:34,778 --> 00:20:38,073
Oh, my poor, sweet baby.

314
00:20:38,699 --> 00:20:42,244
I'm gonna take
extra special care of you.

315
00:20:42,744 --> 00:20:45,789
<i>Hey, you look a lot better</i>
<i>from the outside.</i>

316
00:20:46,289 --> 00:20:48,125
I'll take her now.

317
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:50,794
<i>- Where am I going?</i>
- Where're they taking her?

318
00:20:51,003 --> 00:20:52,587
In observation.

319
00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:54,423
<i>What happened to my quality time?</i>

320
00:20:54,631 --> 00:20:57,884
Bye, honey. Bye, honey.

321
00:20:59,428 --> 00:21:01,847
<i>I don't want to go anyplace!</i>

322
00:21:07,978 --> 00:21:10,439
Bye-bye, honey. Bye-bye.

323
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:17,487
<i>First a lousy birth and now this.</i>

324
00:21:17,696 --> 00:21:19,990
<i>Jeez, life sucks!</i>

325
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,246
- You're next.
- Oh, I hope so.

326
00:21:28,206 --> 00:21:30,000
- Bye, doll.
- Bye, Daddy.

327
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,544
- Congratulations!
- Thanks.

328
00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:33,962
Hey, Pop!

329
00:21:34,212 --> 00:21:36,256
Hi, honey. How's your head?

330
00:21:37,549 --> 00:21:39,760
Mikey, this is your sister, Julie.

331
00:21:39,968 --> 00:21:43,388
<i>Hi, Julie. Welcome to the outside.</i>
<i>I'm your big brother, Mikey.</i>

332
00:21:43,638 --> 00:21:46,183
<i>I'll be in charge of you</i>
<i>for the next few years.</i>

333
00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:49,394
<i>Smacking you around, getting you</i>
<i>in shape, teaching you things.</i>

334
00:21:49,603 --> 00:21:51,188
<i>Anything you need, ask.</i>

335
00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:53,273
<i>Who's this asshole?</i>

336
00:21:53,482 --> 00:21:56,693
<i>Say no more.</i>
<i>You're tired after all that travelling.</i>

337
00:21:56,902 --> 00:21:58,820
<i>That long trip down the birth canal.</i>

338
00:21:59,196 --> 00:22:00,906
<i>Stop. You're killing me.</i>

339
00:22:01,114 --> 00:22:03,450
<i>I got you something</i>
<i>for coming into the world.</i>

340
00:22:03,659 --> 00:22:04,993
<i>Here. Have a cow, honey.</i>

341
00:22:06,495 --> 00:22:07,537
<i>Get away!</i>

342
00:22:07,913 --> 00:22:09,414
<i>Fine. Don't have a cow.</i>

343
00:22:26,598 --> 00:22:30,560
<i>- Eddie, let's get a apple juice.</i>
<i>- No, I'm into my training thing.</i>

344
00:22:30,977 --> 00:22:32,270
<i>What training thing?</i>

345
00:22:32,604 --> 00:22:34,523
<i>I'm wearing the training pants, man.</i>

346
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:37,984
<i>Don't tell me you're going along</i>
<i>with this potty business.</i>

347
00:22:38,193 --> 00:22:40,529
<i>We have to,</i>
<i>because the Toilet Man says so.</i>

348
00:22:40,987 --> 00:22:42,030
<i>Who?</i>

349
00:22:42,239 --> 00:22:45,117
<i>Mr. Toilet Man eats</i>
<i>your doo doo and your pee pee.</i>

350
00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:46,994
<i>So I say, give it to him.</i>

351
00:22:47,244 --> 00:22:49,579
<i>Eat your doo doo and pee pee?</i>
<i>Who said that?!</i>

352
00:22:49,788 --> 00:22:52,165
<i>- My mother. You calling her a liar?</i>
<i>- No.</i>

353
00:22:52,416 --> 00:22:56,128
<i>She told me that</i>
<i>diapers are for babies.</i>

354
00:22:56,336 --> 00:23:01,466
<i>But eat your doo doo and your pee pee?</i>
<i>The thought is too hideous!</i>

355
00:23:01,842 --> 00:23:03,218
<i>- Oh, yeah?</i>
<i>- Tell you what.</i>

356
00:23:03,635 --> 00:23:05,512
<i>Let's take my sister for a walk.</i>

357
00:23:05,762 --> 00:23:06,805
<i>All right.</i>

358
00:23:07,597 --> 00:23:09,182
<i>Quick, while the moms aren't looking.</i>

359
00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:12,519
<i>Let's take her to the zoo</i>
<i>and leave her there.</i>

360
00:23:12,728 --> 00:23:14,271
<i>He would have a friend.</i>

361
00:23:14,646 --> 00:23:16,189
<i>She won't like the lions.</i>

362
00:23:16,606 --> 00:23:19,067
<i>And they're both schmucks.</i>

363
00:23:19,693 --> 00:23:22,029
<i>- Mommy! Mommy!</i>
- Wait, wait.

364
00:23:22,279 --> 00:23:23,905
<i>Uh-oh. Busted.</i>

365
00:23:24,156 --> 00:23:27,242
- Oh, honey, you okay?
<i>- Yeah, she's fine.</i>

366
00:23:27,451 --> 00:23:31,413
Don't take your sister away.
Mommy's heart jumped into her throat.

367
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,082
<i>Do you have to be so graphic?</i>

368
00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:37,544
<i>I was taking her for a walk.</i>
<i>I thought she'd have a good time.</i>

369
00:23:37,753 --> 00:23:38,795
<i>I'm sorry.</i>

370
00:23:39,588 --> 00:23:41,631
Are you okay, sweetheart?

371
00:23:42,466 --> 00:23:46,386
<i>Here, let me give you a present.</i>
<i>Here. What's this?</i>

372
00:23:47,929 --> 00:23:49,890
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?

373
00:23:50,098 --> 00:23:54,936
Well, it's hospital garbage.
They make crack pipes out of these.

374
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,940
- Let me see your hands.
<i>- My hands are okay, Ma.</i>

375
00:23:59,191 --> 00:24:01,026
<i>- Don't.</i>
- Give Mommy your hands.

376
00:24:01,234 --> 00:24:03,487
<i>No, please. They're okay.</i>
<i>They're clean.</i>

377
00:24:04,196 --> 00:24:06,239
That is it.
I have had it with this park!

378
00:24:06,490 --> 00:24:08,533
<i>Sorry. She didn't mean</i>
<i>to throw that on you.</i>

379
00:24:14,206 --> 00:24:16,041
Mikey, time to go to bed.

380
00:24:16,291 --> 00:24:18,251
I told him he could watch a video.

381
00:24:18,502 --> 00:24:19,920
He needs to go to bed.

382
00:24:20,128 --> 00:24:23,215
But I promised
he could finish watching the video.

383
00:24:23,465 --> 00:24:25,258
He can finish it tomorrow.
He's tired.

384
00:24:25,509 --> 00:24:28,136
- Don't undermine me.
- You don't undermine me!

385
00:24:28,345 --> 00:24:31,014
- Let's take it outside.
- Okay.

386
00:24:43,151 --> 00:24:45,612
<i>Because she's a baby</i>
<i>I have to go to bed early.</i>

387
00:24:46,321 --> 00:24:47,698
<i>What're you looking at?</i>

388
00:24:48,156 --> 00:24:51,243
If I say Mikey can do something
and you say he can't...

389
00:24:51,493 --> 00:24:54,413
...then you cut my nuts off.
How can I be a good dad?

390
00:24:54,621 --> 00:24:56,873
You're the man
so you make the decisions?

391
00:24:57,374 --> 00:25:01,044
I don't get to make all the decisions
because I'm the man!

392
00:25:01,753 --> 00:25:06,091
Look, if I promise him something,
don't make me look like an asshole.

393
00:25:06,299 --> 00:25:10,012
- You're doing a good job yourself!
- Keep it down out there, please?

394
00:25:10,220 --> 00:25:11,513
I am his mother.

395
00:25:11,763 --> 00:25:15,809
I see my tired baby sitting there,
and I know he's got to get up early.

396
00:25:16,351 --> 00:25:19,021
- For what?
- Because I'm taking him to baby gym.

397
00:25:19,271 --> 00:25:21,023
Oh, no. Not baby gym.

398
00:25:21,231 --> 00:25:24,026
- He needs to socialize with kids.
- Go to the park.

399
00:25:24,234 --> 00:25:26,486
I'm not taking him
to the park anymore!

400
00:25:26,737 --> 00:25:29,156
You know what he did?
He picked up a crack pipe.

401
00:25:29,406 --> 00:25:31,950
- Throw it out.
- He could get diseases from that!

402
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,288
You're so scared! You're gonna
bring him up to be a real crybaby.

403
00:25:36,538 --> 00:25:39,624
I am going to baby gym.
I don't see why you care anyway.

404
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,919
- What's that mean?
- What do you mean, what's it mean?

405
00:25:43,170 --> 00:25:46,631
It means that it's your money
so I'm not supposed to care.

406
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,592
- I didn't say that.
- It's what you think.

407
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,553
You earn more money
so you can make the decisions...

408
00:25:51,803 --> 00:25:53,680
...and I'm out of here.
- I do not!

409
00:25:53,889 --> 00:25:56,224
I have never, ever
brought up money before!

410
00:25:56,475 --> 00:25:58,435
Why does everything
have to be your way?

411
00:25:58,643 --> 00:25:59,686
It doesn't!

412
00:26:00,729 --> 00:26:02,272
- Shut up!
- Shut up, you!

413
00:26:02,856 --> 00:26:05,067
<i>Let's take stock here.</i>

414
00:26:05,901 --> 00:26:08,612
<i>My brother is 27 pounds of stupid.</i>

415
00:26:09,738 --> 00:26:12,783
<i>My parents are okay separately</i>
<i>but as a couple, they stink.</i>

416
00:26:13,033 --> 00:26:16,119
Why don't you just put me
in a fucking dress, okay?

417
00:26:16,995 --> 00:26:20,207
<i>I guess you're my only friend, Herbie.</i>

418
00:26:20,415 --> 00:26:24,044
Intellectually it takes at least
three dates to know somebody.

419
00:26:24,252 --> 00:26:28,048
But emotionally, I'll just look at the
way he'll eat something disgusting.

420
00:26:28,298 --> 00:26:29,508
Like chili dogs.

421
00:26:29,758 --> 00:26:33,679
This voice inside me says you can't
spend the next 60 years with him.

422
00:26:33,887 --> 00:26:36,807
- You're planning on living a long time.
- You know what I mean.

423
00:26:37,057 --> 00:26:39,059
You and James have been
together forever.

424
00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:40,852
Yeah, a year and a half.

425
00:26:41,103 --> 00:26:43,438
For a non-obsessive relationship,
that's pretty good.

426
00:26:43,689 --> 00:26:45,565
- You know what I hate?
- What?

427
00:26:45,816 --> 00:26:50,237
I hate the way James is always
telling me how to take care of Mikey.

428
00:26:50,487 --> 00:26:53,156
I carried the kid for nine months.

429
00:26:53,407 --> 00:26:55,534
I went through labour and the pain.

430
00:26:55,742 --> 00:26:59,496
I know what I'm doing. I should
be lord and emperor of that child.

431
00:26:59,746 --> 00:27:02,874
I think maybe he just
gets frustrated, you know?

432
00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:05,961
Because he doesn't have a job
that he loves. Like we do.

433
00:27:06,211 --> 00:27:08,046
We're really lucky.

434
00:27:08,547 --> 00:27:11,383
- I don't know what to do.
- I don't know what to say.

435
00:27:11,633 --> 00:27:16,013
You know what you have to do? You
have to take control of the situation.

436
00:27:16,263 --> 00:27:20,183
You can't wait for this schmendrick
to get his act together.

437
00:27:20,434 --> 00:27:22,853
He is not a schmendrick.
He is a good father.

438
00:27:23,061 --> 00:27:25,147
For your information,
he works real hard.

439
00:27:25,397 --> 00:27:28,483
That's the trouble.
He works his ass off for nothing.

440
00:27:28,734 --> 00:27:31,445
Now Daddy has an account
with Corporate Pilots.

441
00:27:31,695 --> 00:27:35,282
They earn between 30
and 50,000 dollars a year.

442
00:27:35,532 --> 00:27:37,701
I wish James could get
a job like that.

443
00:27:37,951 --> 00:27:40,245
I'm way ahead of you.
We already asked.

444
00:27:40,495 --> 00:27:44,333
James has to call Freddie.
Tell him how many hours, what planes.

445
00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:48,295
No. Ma, you know, if James
had a job that he really loved...

446
00:27:48,503 --> 00:27:50,797
...and he could make money,
that would be great for us.

447
00:27:51,006 --> 00:27:54,301
And you have Daddy to thank.

448
00:27:54,843 --> 00:27:56,636
- Six. Six.
- A dollar.

449
00:27:56,887 --> 00:27:59,097
Six dollar. Yeah. Seven?

450
00:27:59,306 --> 00:28:01,892
<i>A card's a card.</i>
<i>Why do you have to name them all?</i>

451
00:28:04,561 --> 00:28:06,438
What kind of equipment do they fly?

452
00:28:06,688 --> 00:28:08,774
I don't know. You'll find out.

453
00:28:09,024 --> 00:28:12,611
At least with my job I can fly
different types of aeroplanes.

454
00:28:12,861 --> 00:28:15,197
Jimmy, what does it matter?
A jet's a jet.

455
00:28:15,405 --> 00:28:18,950
Well, you don't love flying,
so it wouldn't matter to you.

456
00:28:20,077 --> 00:28:23,538
This isn't about what aeroplanes
they have to fly. What is it?

457
00:28:23,747 --> 00:28:26,750
You want to know what it is?
It's your mother, okay?

458
00:28:27,668 --> 00:28:31,046
- They're controlling your life.
- They do not control my life.

459
00:28:31,296 --> 00:28:33,048
Why are you and your brother
accountants?

460
00:28:33,423 --> 00:28:35,634
Because we dearly love it.

461
00:28:35,884 --> 00:28:37,511
Oh, come on!

462
00:28:38,637 --> 00:28:41,306
You dearly love being accountants?

463
00:28:41,556 --> 00:28:44,518
I do. It deals with my favourite
things, numbers and people.

464
00:28:44,893 --> 00:28:48,939
And they check our tax return every
year just to make me look stupid.

465
00:28:49,272 --> 00:28:51,525
That isn't true!
You said it was okay.

466
00:28:51,733 --> 00:28:53,110
Maybe it's not.

467
00:28:53,318 --> 00:28:56,405
Look, don't take the job.
I don't care.

468
00:28:56,655 --> 00:28:57,948
Fine. I won't.

469
00:29:20,887 --> 00:29:24,433
Oh, honey. I'm sorry.

470
00:29:25,058 --> 00:29:26,560
Oh, sweetheart.

471
00:29:28,437 --> 00:29:32,774
- I was just trying to help.
- I know you were helping me.

472
00:29:33,608 --> 00:29:37,195
I thought that if you did something
you loved, you'd be happier.

473
00:29:37,446 --> 00:29:39,072
I shouldn't have said anything.

474
00:29:39,323 --> 00:29:43,618
My mom and dad were trying to help
so they talked to their friends.

475
00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:45,746
- Now you hate them.
- I don't hate them.

476
00:29:45,996 --> 00:29:48,665
I have always been really
nice to your mother.

477
00:29:48,915 --> 00:29:52,502
Honey, look, I'll call Freddie
tomorrow, okay?

478
00:29:52,753 --> 00:29:55,088
Don't call him just
because I'm bawling.

479
00:29:55,297 --> 00:29:59,843
I'll find out what it's all about,
and I won't promise you anything.

480
00:30:00,052 --> 00:30:01,803
It won't be because you're crying.

481
00:30:02,054 --> 00:30:04,890
Okay. All right, give me a kiss.

482
00:30:11,730 --> 00:30:13,023
Who the hell is that?

483
00:30:14,358 --> 00:30:18,236
Who is it? Damn it.
It must be some kind of nut!

484
00:30:18,445 --> 00:30:20,405
Here, let me open it. What?

485
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,452
- Do you know who I hate?
- Stuart!

486
00:30:25,661 --> 00:30:28,705
How you doing? You're back!
This is my brother. This is James.

487
00:30:28,955 --> 00:30:33,460
I hate these Orientals! They're
buying up this country. You know why?

488
00:30:33,669 --> 00:30:36,213
- He's the accountant for Mitsubishi.
- Not anymore.

489
00:30:36,421 --> 00:30:39,716
Americans have turned themselves
into fat-assed lazy slobs...

490
00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:43,053
...who'd rather sell their toes
than get up and walk a block.

491
00:30:43,261 --> 00:30:47,849
- Could I stay here for a while?
- As long as you want.

492
00:30:49,935 --> 00:30:52,646
I'll make up the couch! Yes!

493
00:30:57,818 --> 00:31:01,822
<i>Oh, what a dilemma.</i>
<i>Do I stay or do I pee?</i>

494
00:31:02,823 --> 00:31:04,992
<i>What if Eddie said was true?</i>

495
00:31:05,242 --> 00:31:08,286
<i>Mr. Toilet Man eating your pee pee?</i>

496
00:31:08,662 --> 00:31:12,874
<i>Oh, well, I guess</i>
<i>I really don't believe that.</i>

497
00:31:13,291 --> 00:31:17,254
<i>But then, on the other hand,</i>
<i>what if there is a Mr. Toilet Man?</i>

498
00:31:17,838 --> 00:31:21,633
<i>Well, I think I better just turn</i>
<i>the light on just to make sure.</i>

499
00:31:23,176 --> 00:31:24,845
<i>Just as I thought.</i>

500
00:31:25,053 --> 00:31:27,264
<i>Just a regular old toilet, huh?</i>

501
00:31:27,514 --> 00:31:29,766
<i>Wait till I tell Eddie about this.</i>

502
00:31:29,975 --> 00:31:32,060
<i>Eddie and his bonehead ideas.</i>

503
00:31:32,477 --> 00:31:35,439
Hey, you! You little pisser!
I'm talking to you!

504
00:31:35,647 --> 00:31:37,274
You're supposed to give me pee pee!

505
00:31:37,524 --> 00:31:40,068
Where's that pee pee?
We're talking about pee pee!

506
00:31:40,277 --> 00:31:42,904
- I need that pee pee!
<i>- Oh, no! Mr. Toilet Man!</i>

507
00:31:43,113 --> 00:31:46,450
Listen, I've had it with you!
You'd better give me that pee pee.

508
00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:51,204
Give it to me or the next time you
sit on me, I'll bite off your tushy!

509
00:31:56,752 --> 00:32:00,213
It's okay, honey. Mommy's here.

510
00:32:00,422 --> 00:32:03,258
- Mommy's here. Oh, sweetheart.
<i>- Mommy. Daddy. Potty.</i>

511
00:32:03,508 --> 00:32:05,886
- It's just a dream.
<i>- The Toilet Man.</i>

512
00:32:06,136 --> 00:32:08,430
<i>It was scary.</i>

513
00:32:08,638 --> 00:32:11,058
- You know what it is?
<i>- Get a load of those eyebrows.</i>

514
00:32:11,266 --> 00:32:14,936
- It's a country of showoffs.
<i>- What's the deal with eyebrows?</i>

515
00:32:15,854 --> 00:32:17,272
<i>Eyes I understand.</i>

516
00:32:17,564 --> 00:32:21,068
<i>Mouths I understand. But eyebrows?</i>

517
00:32:21,777 --> 00:32:24,237
<i>I wonder if I'll have a set like his.</i>

518
00:32:25,322 --> 00:32:27,741
<i>Daddy doesn't have a set like his.</i>

519
00:32:27,991 --> 00:32:30,827
- Good luck with your job interview.
<i>- It's confusing.</i>

520
00:32:31,078 --> 00:32:32,746
<i>I guess I'll learn some day.</i>

521
00:32:33,455 --> 00:32:36,333
- I want him out of the house.
<i>- We're going out!</i>

522
00:32:36,583 --> 00:32:40,170
<i>We're getting ready to go out!</i>
<i>I'm so ex cited!</i>

523
00:32:40,962 --> 00:32:43,632
<i>- Daddy, don't take my nose!</i>
- I got your nose.

524
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,134
- Goodbye, Mommy's honey bunny.
<i>- Hi, Mommy.</i>

525
00:32:46,385 --> 00:32:47,969
<i>Let's take the Play-Doh.</i>

526
00:32:48,220 --> 00:32:52,557
<i>There's something I saw earlier</i>
<i>that I'd like to build and if you...</i>

527
00:32:52,766 --> 00:32:54,017
<i>Mom?</i>

528
00:32:57,229 --> 00:32:58,605
<i>Daddy.</i>

529
00:32:59,523 --> 00:33:01,733
<i>Where'd everybody go?</i>

530
00:33:03,276 --> 00:33:06,029
<i>What have I done to deserve this?</i>

531
00:33:06,697 --> 00:33:09,491
<i>Julie, don't worry.</i>
<i>I'll take care of you.</i>

532
00:33:09,741 --> 00:33:11,743
<i>You're too little!</i>

533
00:33:12,035 --> 00:33:16,289
<i>You should have seen my brother</i>
<i>as a kid. He was so cute and sweet!</i>

534
00:33:16,498 --> 00:33:19,209
<i>But no matter what he did,</i>
<i>he'd get in trouble.</i>

535
00:33:19,418 --> 00:33:22,129
<i>Everyone was always screaming at him.</i>

536
00:33:22,379 --> 00:33:23,755
<i>Daddy was screaming.</i>

537
00:33:24,006 --> 00:33:26,049
He looks just like Leon!

538
00:33:26,299 --> 00:33:28,802
- Everybody looks like Leon.
- You think so?

539
00:33:29,052 --> 00:33:32,139
<i>I think if he was in a loving</i>
<i>environment, like my house...</i>

540
00:33:32,389 --> 00:33:34,725
<i>... that he would really</i>
<i>straighten out.</i>

541
00:33:41,940 --> 00:33:44,818
Yeah, right and shutting down.

542
00:33:45,944 --> 00:33:46,987
Thanks, Bill.

543
00:33:48,739 --> 00:33:50,449
Okay, here we are.

544
00:33:55,662 --> 00:33:58,915
- Excuse me. Here we go.
- Where's the briefcase?

545
00:33:59,166 --> 00:34:01,126
- Did you leave it on the plane?
- No.

546
00:34:01,376 --> 00:34:02,586
One minute.

547
00:34:03,337 --> 00:34:05,088
- I'll lock up.
- You bet.

548
00:34:05,297 --> 00:34:08,175
All right, here we are. Thank you.

549
00:34:08,383 --> 00:34:09,634
Good night.

550
00:34:10,969 --> 00:34:12,387
Dickface.

551
00:34:12,596 --> 00:34:14,014
Jeez.

552
00:34:14,931 --> 00:34:16,767
- Hi, Elvis.
- Hey, Priscilla.

553
00:34:16,975 --> 00:34:18,226
How'd it go?

554
00:34:18,435 --> 00:34:21,938
Which part? Blaming me for
turbulence spilling wine on them...

555
00:34:22,147 --> 00:34:24,066
...or bawling me out for weak coffee?

556
00:34:24,274 --> 00:34:26,568
You just got a couple of creeps.

557
00:34:26,818 --> 00:34:30,113
Didn't it feel great not worrying
about driving the cab?

558
00:34:30,322 --> 00:34:32,199
Didn't that make it worthwhile?

559
00:34:32,407 --> 00:34:36,328
I love flying a Lear jet.
It's just this beeper lifestyle.

560
00:34:36,578 --> 00:34:38,455
You're on call anytime.

561
00:34:38,705 --> 00:34:42,000
That means we can't plan vacations.
What about the kids?

562
00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:44,252
Am I a waiter or a pilot?

563
00:34:44,503 --> 00:34:47,172
Other than that, how did you like it?

564
00:34:49,508 --> 00:34:50,759
- Did you like it?
- Yeah.

565
00:34:51,009 --> 00:34:53,053
You liked it! I knew you would.

566
00:34:53,470 --> 00:34:57,474
<i>All right, I think I'm gonna try it.</i>
<i>Yeah, yeah, it's solid.</i>

567
00:34:57,724 --> 00:34:59,893
<i>I gotta be honest with myself here.</i>

568
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,188
<i>I'm a failure as a big brother.</i>
<i>Look at her.</i>

569
00:35:03,397 --> 00:35:05,315
<i>And I'm going, I'm going, I'm...</i>

570
00:35:05,524 --> 00:35:06,775
<i>... kidding myself.</i>

571
00:35:07,025 --> 00:35:10,278
<i>I try and teach her to crawl,</i>
<i>she's bouncing like a spaniel.</i>

572
00:35:11,363 --> 00:35:12,823
<i>Here I go.</i>

573
00:35:14,324 --> 00:35:18,036
<i>- Yeah, I'm going.</i>
<i>- Wait a minute. She's up.</i>

574
00:35:18,537 --> 00:35:20,872
<i>She's mobile. She's moving.</i>

575
00:35:21,540 --> 00:35:23,667
<i>She's heading right for my toys.</i>

576
00:35:24,668 --> 00:35:27,462
<i>Maybe I better show her</i>
<i>about toys right away...</i>

577
00:35:27,713 --> 00:35:31,091
<i>... before she does something drastic</i>
<i>to one of my toys.</i>

578
00:35:31,341 --> 00:35:32,884
<i>Let me show you something.</i>

579
00:35:33,343 --> 00:35:37,055
<i>These are all toys, right?</i>
<i>Some are mine, some are yours.</i>

580
00:35:37,305 --> 00:35:40,392
<i>- The difference is I have great toys.</i>
<i>- Let me see.</i>

581
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:45,272
<i>- You have all these stupid, baby toys.</i>
<i>- Can I see that? I like it.</i>

582
00:35:45,605 --> 00:35:47,691
<i>Of course you do.</i>
<i>It's a big-boy toy.</i>

583
00:35:47,941 --> 00:35:49,651
<i>Can't I see it for a little?</i>

584
00:35:49,901 --> 00:35:53,322
<i>You can't have it. You think</i>
<i>you can jump into a toy like this?</i>

585
00:35:53,572 --> 00:35:57,117
<i>- Grow up, kid.</i>
<i>- Jeez, he's always so mean to me.</i>

586
00:35:57,367 --> 00:36:01,413
<i>- Here's a toy you can play with.</i>
<i>- I don't like balls!</i>

587
00:36:01,621 --> 00:36:03,790
<i>Don't cry again.</i>

588
00:36:09,588 --> 00:36:11,214
Freeze!

589
00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:15,552
- What are you doing?
- I'm sorry.

590
00:36:15,802 --> 00:36:18,764
Why do you have a gun in my house?
There are kids here!

591
00:36:18,972 --> 00:36:20,057
It's not loaded.

592
00:36:20,307 --> 00:36:23,352
People say that when
they accidentally kill someone.

593
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,228
"I didn't think it was loaded."

594
00:36:25,479 --> 00:36:28,523
You guys make me laugh.
You're really funny.

595
00:36:29,608 --> 00:36:33,654
You stock up your cabinets
with bottled water and flashlights.

596
00:36:33,904 --> 00:36:37,282
But what do you think'll happen
when the shit hits the fan?

597
00:36:37,532 --> 00:36:41,036
Like earthquakes or flash floods
or mud slides.

598
00:36:41,244 --> 00:36:44,623
Or just chaos and horror,
people dying in the streets.

599
00:36:44,873 --> 00:36:47,376
And you're sitting pretty
with your bottled water.

600
00:36:48,001 --> 00:36:50,462
Now the guy next door,
he's got one of these.

601
00:36:50,712 --> 00:36:52,339
Who's gonna go thirsty?

602
00:36:52,589 --> 00:36:54,800
Him or you?

603
00:36:56,218 --> 00:36:57,469
I mean...

604
00:36:57,928 --> 00:36:59,221
...think about it.

605
00:37:00,180 --> 00:37:01,890
You're nuts.

606
00:37:06,144 --> 00:37:09,231
Mollie, I don't want that maniac
around the kids.

607
00:37:09,481 --> 00:37:12,109
- He's their uncle.
- He sleeps with a gun.

608
00:37:12,359 --> 00:37:15,362
- He does not.
- He tried to shoot me when I came in.

609
00:37:15,946 --> 00:37:17,572
Stewball?

610
00:37:18,031 --> 00:37:21,118
- Do you have a gun in there?
- It's not loaded.

611
00:37:21,368 --> 00:37:22,953
It's not loaded.

612
00:37:24,037 --> 00:37:25,080
I need some cover.

613
00:37:25,288 --> 00:37:29,334
If I drink out of a Styrofoam cup,
you give me a two-hour lecture.

614
00:37:29,584 --> 00:37:33,797
But Travis Bickle moves in with a
semiautomatic weapon and it's okay?

615
00:37:34,006 --> 00:37:37,300
This is New York.
Women carry guns in their purses.

616
00:37:37,509 --> 00:37:39,845
Most people have them
in their nightstands.

617
00:37:40,095 --> 00:37:43,598
Jimmy, if a little unloaded gun
makes him feel better...

618
00:37:43,807 --> 00:37:45,142
Makes him feel better?

619
00:37:45,392 --> 00:37:49,855
Maybe climbing a tower and shooting
students would make him feel better.

620
00:37:50,147 --> 00:37:51,523
Jeez.

621
00:38:22,637 --> 00:38:25,807
<i>Okay now, this might sound</i>
<i>like a stupid question...</i>

622
00:38:26,016 --> 00:38:27,851
<i>... but where is Julie's penis?</i>

623
00:38:28,101 --> 00:38:30,896
<i>Is it in the tub, maybe?</i>
<i>Did she break it off?</i>

624
00:38:31,104 --> 00:38:34,316
- No penis.
- Oh, it's okay.

625
00:38:34,524 --> 00:38:37,402
He wants to know why
Julie doesn't have a penis.

626
00:38:37,903 --> 00:38:40,906
- What?
- Tell him about boys and girls.

627
00:38:41,114 --> 00:38:44,910
- Not at this age, honey.
- Just tell him why we're different.

628
00:38:45,118 --> 00:38:47,913
You do it. I told him
about the potty bit.

629
00:38:48,121 --> 00:38:52,459
All right, take Julie.
Go see Daddy. Go see Daddy.

630
00:38:52,709 --> 00:38:53,877
Mikey...

631
00:38:54,252 --> 00:38:57,214
...Julie is a girl
and you are a boy, okay?

632
00:38:57,422 --> 00:39:02,260
Little boys have penises, but girls
don't because they don't need them.

633
00:39:02,511 --> 00:39:06,264
It's like Mommy. Mommy is a girl,
so I don't have a penis.

634
00:39:06,515 --> 00:39:08,892
But she's got some set of balls.

635
00:39:10,310 --> 00:39:13,438
- But Daddy is a big?
- Penis.

636
00:39:14,106 --> 00:39:16,149
That's right.

637
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,318
Here we go. What's that?

638
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:23,490
A penis.

639
00:39:25,784 --> 00:39:28,161
- This one?
- No penis.

640
00:39:28,370 --> 00:39:31,415
That's good! He understands.
What's this?

641
00:39:35,335 --> 00:39:36,712
<i>Tough call.</i>

642
00:39:37,546 --> 00:39:41,216
Oh, boy, was that stupid or what?
It was very stupid.

643
00:39:41,425 --> 00:39:43,552
I think I'm gonna have a heart attack.

644
00:39:43,802 --> 00:39:47,806
You see, at this age people have
the tendency to have a heart attack.

645
00:39:48,056 --> 00:39:50,225
You can do that.
You just go up and down.

646
00:39:50,475 --> 00:39:54,771
But eventually you have a heart attack.
Jump up and down like that.

647
00:39:55,022 --> 00:39:56,857
And don't forget to breathe!

648
00:39:57,065 --> 00:40:00,027
A lot of times people just
drop dead here, and you say:

649
00:40:00,277 --> 00:40:02,946
"Ed, what happened?"
"I forgot to breathe."

650
00:40:03,196 --> 00:40:05,115
Just jump. Jump up and down.

651
00:40:06,283 --> 00:40:07,951
Yes, like that. Fine.

652
00:40:08,201 --> 00:40:10,620
You like this house?
It's a very good house.

653
00:40:10,829 --> 00:40:12,706
Is it me or is this guy weird?

654
00:40:12,914 --> 00:40:14,791
Just rip my whole face off.

655
00:40:15,042 --> 00:40:17,627
She rips my face off and you punch me.

656
00:40:17,878 --> 00:40:20,213
I've never had so much fun
in my life!

657
00:40:20,422 --> 00:40:24,843
<i>Check out the blond on the monkey</i>
<i>bars. You can see up her dress!</i>

658
00:40:25,052 --> 00:40:26,928
<i>That's Sheila. We played doctor.</i>

659
00:40:27,262 --> 00:40:28,680
<i>Played... Where?</i>

660
00:40:28,930 --> 00:40:31,099
<i>Over there,</i>
<i>behind that bean bag thing.</i>

661
00:40:31,391 --> 00:40:32,642
<i>You dog!</i>

662
00:40:33,018 --> 00:40:34,478
<i>Got another house call.</i>

663
00:40:36,563 --> 00:40:38,482
<i>Eddie gets all the girls.</i>

664
00:40:38,732 --> 00:40:40,859
<i>He's not wearing a diaper.</i>

665
00:40:41,109 --> 00:40:43,320
<i>Maybe I ought to try</i>
<i>this potty thing.</i>

666
00:40:43,570 --> 00:40:45,906
<i>When you have to pee,</i>
<i>you jump up and down.</i>

667
00:40:46,156 --> 00:40:49,368
<i>But sometimes nothing has to come out.</i>

668
00:40:49,576 --> 00:40:53,497
<i>So you try to jump up and down</i>
<i>a little more.</i>

669
00:40:54,998 --> 00:40:57,876
<i>And I don't have to pee.</i>

670
00:40:58,126 --> 00:41:00,712
<i>I don't have to pee.</i>

671
00:41:01,338 --> 00:41:04,883
<i>I do have to pee,</i>
<i>and I better go somewhere.</i>

672
00:41:05,133 --> 00:41:08,387
<i>Here I go. Okay.</i>
<i>Now's the time. I just...</i>

673
00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:14,226
<i>That stuff really sneaks up on you.</i>

674
00:41:21,066 --> 00:41:23,819
<i>I want a bowl of Kraft caramel pieces.</i>

675
00:41:24,528 --> 00:41:28,657
<i>WWF Wrestling Buddies, the</i>
<i>rough-and-ready wrestlers from Tonka!</i>

676
00:41:29,032 --> 00:41:32,202
<i>Wrestling Buddies by Tonka?</i>
<i>I want one of those!</i>

677
00:41:32,452 --> 00:41:34,454
<i>Here comes the new Cobra Hammerhead.</i>

678
00:41:34,663 --> 00:41:36,790
<i>The Cobra Hammerhead'll</i>
<i>sink those Joes!</i>

679
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,459
<i>I need a Cobra Hammerhead!</i>

680
00:41:39,668 --> 00:41:41,586
<i>Hey, I want a Cobra Camerahead.</i>

681
00:41:41,837 --> 00:41:44,214
<i>It's for boys. Jeez.</i>

682
00:41:44,715 --> 00:41:47,175
- Hey, Priscilla.
- Hi, Elvis.

683
00:41:50,470 --> 00:41:53,890
- Mikey, guess what I got you?
<i>- A Cobra Hammerhead?</i>

684
00:41:54,141 --> 00:41:56,143
- An aeroplane!
<i>- Oh, man.</i>

685
00:41:56,351 --> 00:41:58,645
It's a Lear 24,
just like your dad flies.

686
00:41:58,895 --> 00:42:02,024
One day I'll take you to the airport.
You can sit with me.

687
00:42:02,232 --> 00:42:04,609
- Want to do that?
<i>- No.</i>

688
00:42:04,943 --> 00:42:08,447
Man, I have never been more insulted.

689
00:42:09,948 --> 00:42:13,285
I get up for this job interview
today. Everything's great.

690
00:42:13,535 --> 00:42:15,537
It's for this liberal organization.

691
00:42:15,787 --> 00:42:16,913
Which one?

692
00:42:17,664 --> 00:42:21,710
I don't know. The American Foundation
of Crybabies or some shit.

693
00:42:22,085 --> 00:42:25,130
He tells me the salary,
and I wanted to kick his ass.

694
00:42:25,380 --> 00:42:28,258
- Who does he think he's talking to?
- Are you hungry?

695
00:42:28,675 --> 00:42:30,886
I'm checking out
the Faster Pussycats.

696
00:42:31,136 --> 00:42:32,679
That'll be fun for you.

697
00:42:32,929 --> 00:42:35,557
- You think I could borrow $20?
- Sure.

698
00:42:35,766 --> 00:42:38,185
Hey, Stuart? Nice jacket.

699
00:42:38,435 --> 00:42:40,854
Do you mind? I got a date.

700
00:42:41,063 --> 00:42:42,147
I guess not.

701
00:42:42,397 --> 00:42:45,817
Here. And I want you to take this.
This is mad money.

702
00:42:46,068 --> 00:42:51,198
And don't take the subway.
There's a lot of weirdos. Take a cab.

703
00:42:51,406 --> 00:42:54,743
- There's a lot of weirdos there?
- Yeah. You take a cab. Bye.

704
00:42:56,286 --> 00:43:00,582
I don't mind that every job interview
he goes up on, he gets upset.

705
00:43:00,791 --> 00:43:03,835
It doesn't really bother me
that he takes my clothes.

706
00:43:04,086 --> 00:43:06,672
I can even put up with
his Fascist views.

707
00:43:06,922 --> 00:43:10,175
But you know what bothers me?
What really ticks me off?

708
00:43:10,384 --> 00:43:12,386
Is this and this!

709
00:43:12,636 --> 00:43:15,180
He drinks everything but a drop,
then puts it back.

710
00:43:15,389 --> 00:43:17,933
He takes bites of everything,
then puts it back.

711
00:43:18,183 --> 00:43:21,645
He reads our magazines, hides them
before we get to read them!

712
00:43:21,853 --> 00:43:24,690
- I'll have a talk with him.
- No, I want him out.

713
00:43:24,940 --> 00:43:27,067
- He doesn't have a place.
- Your mother's.

714
00:43:27,275 --> 00:43:28,652
They'd kill each other.

715
00:43:28,860 --> 00:43:30,862
Why do you put him ahead of me?

716
00:43:31,113 --> 00:43:32,572
- I don't.
- You do.

717
00:43:32,823 --> 00:43:34,157
Decide, him or me.

718
00:43:35,033 --> 00:43:38,745
You can't ask me to choose
between you and my family!

719
00:43:38,954 --> 00:43:41,039
He's still family at your mother's.

720
00:43:41,248 --> 00:43:44,918
I won't kick him out. And I hate you
for asking me to do this.

721
00:43:45,168 --> 00:43:48,171
- You hate me?
- You're being mean and selfish.

722
00:43:48,422 --> 00:43:51,008
- You're inconsiderate and stubborn.
- Oh, yeah?

723
00:43:51,216 --> 00:43:53,343
I think you are a big, stupid slob!

724
00:43:53,593 --> 00:43:55,262
I think you're big and stupid!

725
00:43:55,512 --> 00:43:58,974
I may be big, but I am not stupid!
So you just get out of here!

726
00:43:59,224 --> 00:44:02,352
- I pay half the rent!
- I pay all the utilities!

727
00:44:02,769 --> 00:44:04,187
Fine!

728
00:44:04,396 --> 00:44:07,399
Elvis is leaving the building!

729
00:44:10,193 --> 00:44:13,572
<i>Hey, I don't want him to go.</i>

730
00:44:13,989 --> 00:44:15,115
<i>What happened?</i>

731
00:44:15,365 --> 00:44:17,868
<i>Oh, yeah? Chase my daddy away,</i>
<i>I'll show you.</i>

732
00:44:18,452 --> 00:44:20,037
<i>Here, here. Go ahead.</i>

733
00:44:20,537 --> 00:44:22,956
<i>Hey, that's mine!</i>

734
00:44:23,165 --> 00:44:26,543
<i>All the yelling. Here's what</i>
<i>I think of your little friend!</i>

735
00:44:27,210 --> 00:44:29,421
<i>Oh, no!</i>

736
00:44:31,381 --> 00:44:33,675
<i>Bye-bye, birdie!</i>
<i>Think you're a bird?</i>

737
00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:36,094
<i>Let's see if you can fly now.</i>

738
00:44:36,762 --> 00:44:38,638
<i>Oh, my friend!</i>

739
00:44:38,889 --> 00:44:41,516
<i>You hurt my friend.</i>

740
00:44:42,642 --> 00:44:44,144
<i>You creep!</i>

741
00:46:09,312 --> 00:46:12,441
- Who is it?
- It's me, Rona.

742
00:46:13,942 --> 00:46:16,737
- Hi, hon.
- You mind if I stay the night?

743
00:46:16,987 --> 00:46:19,781
I'm too scared to go to
my apartment. I was robbed.

744
00:46:20,032 --> 00:46:22,701
Of course you can. What happened?

745
00:46:22,951 --> 00:46:26,830
I went to put the key in the door
and I saw it was a little open.

746
00:46:27,039 --> 00:46:29,333
I peeked in and the place was wrecked.

747
00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:31,251
- What'd they get?
- Everything.

748
00:46:31,501 --> 00:46:34,171
They got my telephone,
my stereo, my camera.

749
00:46:34,421 --> 00:46:37,883
They got my grandfather's gold watch,
that pocket watch?

750
00:46:38,091 --> 00:46:42,095
They got all my costume jewellery.
And some was really expensive.

751
00:46:42,346 --> 00:46:45,390
The worst thing's the mess!
Everything was thrown around.

752
00:46:45,599 --> 00:46:48,435
- Just when I was getting organized.
- Freeze!

753
00:46:48,685 --> 00:46:51,855
Stuart, put the gun down.

754
00:46:52,147 --> 00:46:54,608
Rona, this is my brother, Stuart.

755
00:46:54,858 --> 00:46:59,655
Hi. What a surprise.
Mollie never said she had a brother.

756
00:46:59,905 --> 00:47:01,531
Sorry for aiming this at you.

757
00:47:02,032 --> 00:47:04,993
That's okay. No one was killed.

758
00:47:05,994 --> 00:47:08,330
Come on. You can stay
in my room tonight.

759
00:47:09,998 --> 00:47:11,792
It's nice meeting you.

760
00:47:12,042 --> 00:47:14,795
Mollie said some wonderful things
about you.

761
00:47:26,515 --> 00:47:28,767
<i>- I'm not gonna tell you again.</i>
<i>- Move.</i>

762
00:47:29,017 --> 00:47:32,646
<i>- You shove over. This is my side.</i>
<i>- Get your arm away.</i>

763
00:47:34,898 --> 00:47:36,984
<i>You afraid you'll get recognized?</i>

764
00:47:37,192 --> 00:47:40,278
<i>- Bitchin' wheels.</i>
<i>- Ex cept I gotta ride beside her.</i>

765
00:47:40,529 --> 00:47:43,156
<i>- Buzz off.</i>
<i>- Get your finger out of my eye.</i>

766
00:47:43,365 --> 00:47:45,200
<i>You got a sister?</i>

767
00:47:45,617 --> 00:47:46,994
<i>Better for you.</i>

768
00:47:47,244 --> 00:47:50,038
<i>Mom tells them to be good,</i>
<i>they poke you in the eye.</i>

769
00:47:50,247 --> 00:47:53,291
<i>Worse... Try and stay with me</i>
<i>when I'm talking to you.</i>

770
00:47:55,502 --> 00:47:58,463
<i>What I'm saying is</i>
<i>your parents forget about you.</i>

771
00:47:58,714 --> 00:48:01,049
<i>No, dude. Don't say that.</i>

772
00:48:01,299 --> 00:48:03,176
<i>Well, the way it's going...</i>

773
00:48:03,385 --> 00:48:05,470
<i>- See you later.</i>
<i>- I gotta bail, dude.</i>

774
00:48:07,180 --> 00:48:11,351
<i>Mommy is so funny. She's always</i>
<i>doing something so inventive.</i>

775
00:48:11,935 --> 00:48:15,063
<i>She's the greatest.</i>
<i>She's so clever.</i>

776
00:48:15,314 --> 00:48:19,192
<i>Imagine using your hand</i>
<i>and turning it into a duck.</i>

777
00:48:21,528 --> 00:48:23,488
<i>Sure, sure, laugh now.</i>

778
00:48:23,739 --> 00:48:27,743
<i>Wait'll they take that big sharp</i>
<i>thing and stick you with it.</i>

779
00:48:29,036 --> 00:48:31,204
<i>I hope they don't stick me today.</i>

780
00:48:31,455 --> 00:48:33,915
She'll be knocked out from the shot...

781
00:48:34,166 --> 00:48:36,335
...so no operating heavy machinery.

782
00:48:36,543 --> 00:48:39,838
<i>I'm only 1,</i>
<i>and I know that's not funny.</i>

783
00:48:40,047 --> 00:48:41,131
<i>What's that?</i>

784
00:48:41,673 --> 00:48:43,425
<i>I can't watch this part.</i>

785
00:48:44,926 --> 00:48:47,137
<i>Oh, my God!</i>

786
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,849
<i>Smarts, does it?</i>
<i>Hurts just a little?</i>

787
00:48:51,308 --> 00:48:54,061
<i>Will this pain ever go away?!</i>

788
00:48:54,519 --> 00:48:57,564
<i>Maybe it will. Maybe it won't.</i>

789
00:48:58,065 --> 00:49:00,484
<i>Hey, look at this.</i>
<i>Look what I'm doing.</i>

790
00:49:00,692 --> 00:49:02,319
<i>I'm walking.</i>

791
00:49:04,321 --> 00:49:06,490
<i>Oh, my tush hurts.</i>

792
00:49:06,698 --> 00:49:09,868
<i>Hey! My friend's back.</i>

793
00:49:13,038 --> 00:49:14,873
<i>Now I remember.</i>

794
00:49:15,791 --> 00:49:18,001
<i>He killed my friend.</i>

795
00:49:19,419 --> 00:49:23,632
<i>As God is my witness,</i>
<i>I'm going to learn to walk...</i>

796
00:49:23,882 --> 00:49:26,051
<i>... and get the hell out of here!</i>

797
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,806
Mike, what do you say we see a movie?

798
00:49:31,014 --> 00:49:33,600
<i>What do you say you carry me</i>
<i>around for once?</i>

799
00:49:33,809 --> 00:49:35,686
<i>Yeah, bite my teething ring.</i>

800
00:49:36,061 --> 00:49:39,481
All right, we got Schwarzenegger,
and we got Betty Boop.

801
00:49:39,731 --> 00:49:43,694
Tough call. They're both really built.
They both talk funny.

802
00:49:43,902 --> 00:49:45,153
What would Arnold say?

803
00:49:45,404 --> 00:49:49,825
He'd say, " Do it. Why don't you do it?
You are here. See my movie."

804
00:49:50,075 --> 00:49:52,452
I think they're a little young,
don't you?

805
00:49:52,703 --> 00:49:54,746
Yeah, he says we're too young.

806
00:49:54,955 --> 00:49:56,707
<i>You're not gonna pull...</i>

807
00:49:56,957 --> 00:50:01,378
<i>... the "Sir, my kid left her shoe</i>
<i>inside. Can I go get it?" gag?</i>

808
00:50:02,921 --> 00:50:04,715
<i>He won't go for it.</i>

809
00:50:04,923 --> 00:50:07,634
Sir, my kid left her shoe inside.
Can we get it?

810
00:50:07,843 --> 00:50:10,220
- Thanks.
<i>- Okay, I guess he went for it.</i>

811
00:50:10,846 --> 00:50:13,932
Mike, here. Remember
your obnoxious routine, okay?

812
00:50:14,182 --> 00:50:17,227
<i>- Remember it? I live for it.</i>
- Say popcorn.

813
00:50:17,436 --> 00:50:18,729
Popcorn! Popcorn!

814
00:50:18,937 --> 00:50:20,105
Can I help you?

815
00:50:20,314 --> 00:50:23,775
Yeah, the kids knocked over
the popcorn in the theatre.

816
00:50:23,984 --> 00:50:25,319
Popcorn, popcorn!

817
00:50:25,527 --> 00:50:28,238
All right, calm down.
Just a minute.

818
00:50:28,447 --> 00:50:30,657
<i>Hey, I can be obnoxious too!</i>

819
00:50:36,788 --> 00:50:37,956
Just go.

820
00:50:38,373 --> 00:50:40,834
Oh, no, really? You're great.
Thanks.

821
00:50:41,043 --> 00:50:43,003
Yeah. It's all right.

822
00:50:44,129 --> 00:50:45,213
Always works.

823
00:50:45,422 --> 00:50:48,508
Now look, you guys,
you know I'll be home soon.

824
00:50:48,759 --> 00:50:52,888
If your mother doesn't stop bossing
me around, I'll never be a good dad.

825
00:50:53,138 --> 00:50:56,892
I know that ice cream doesn't
make up for me not being home.

826
00:50:57,142 --> 00:50:59,686
<i>Yeah, well, it's a good start.</i>

827
00:51:00,103 --> 00:51:02,481
I miss you kids so much.

828
00:51:06,652 --> 00:51:10,197
Please don't be mad at me
whatever she says, okay?

829
00:51:12,449 --> 00:51:15,619
Remember, this has nothing
to do with you guys, all right?

830
00:51:15,827 --> 00:51:18,163
It's not your fault,
and it's not your fault.

831
00:51:18,455 --> 00:51:21,708
<i>- I think it is his fault.</i>
<i>- I think it's your fault.</i>

832
00:51:22,292 --> 00:51:24,961
<i>Me? You're the bad one.</i>

833
00:51:25,587 --> 00:51:27,297
I miss you so much.

834
00:51:27,506 --> 00:51:28,757
<i>Pop.</i>

835
00:51:29,633 --> 00:51:31,051
- You miss me?
<i>- Yeah.</i>

836
00:51:31,426 --> 00:51:34,638
<i>Ick. Male bonding makes me sick.</i>

837
00:51:35,889 --> 00:51:37,307
She needs to be changed.

838
00:51:37,557 --> 00:51:38,600
Hi.

839
00:51:39,851 --> 00:51:41,395
There you go, Mike.

840
00:51:41,645 --> 00:51:45,649
Jimmy, have you given any more thought
to what we talked about?

841
00:51:45,857 --> 00:51:49,152
What? You mean my being
a big stupid slob?

842
00:51:49,361 --> 00:51:52,072
<i>We gotta boom-a-boom, a-boom-boom.</i>

843
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,075
Or my being selfish
and you wanting me out?

844
00:51:55,325 --> 00:51:59,037
I got upset. I didn't think
you appreciated me getting that job.

845
00:51:59,246 --> 00:52:03,542
- Mikey, stop it!
<i>- All right, I'll do it soft.</i>

846
00:52:03,750 --> 00:52:07,129
I'm not one of the kids.
I can do things for myself.

847
00:52:07,337 --> 00:52:10,590
Like becoming a pilot
when you fly two hours a week?

848
00:52:10,799 --> 00:52:14,553
- It'll take until you're 50.
- For your information, I got a job.

849
00:52:15,637 --> 00:52:17,931
<i>- We got a boom, baby, boom...</i>
- Knock it off!

850
00:52:20,642 --> 00:52:24,730
<i>Why'd they do that?</i>
<i>He was just working his plate.</i>

851
00:54:38,613 --> 00:54:40,615
<i>I'm sorry, Julie.</i>

852
00:54:43,577 --> 00:54:45,037
<i>Night, baby.</i>

853
00:55:09,645 --> 00:55:13,231
I said to this guy,
"What are you, some kind of idiot?"

854
00:55:13,815 --> 00:55:16,151
I did!
I said, "File a schedule C."

855
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:17,736
That's right!

856
00:55:21,365 --> 00:55:22,866
You would, huh?

857
00:55:23,116 --> 00:55:25,869
- Would what?
- File a schedule C?

858
00:55:26,078 --> 00:55:27,746
Yeah, I would.

859
00:55:40,342 --> 00:55:43,220
<i>Okay, I can do it holding on.</i>

860
00:55:43,887 --> 00:55:47,391
<i>But I wonder if I can make it</i>
<i>all the way to the couch.</i>

861
00:55:47,641 --> 00:55:50,310
<i>All right, here goes nothing.</i>

862
00:55:57,526 --> 00:56:01,113
<i>Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing it!</i>

863
00:56:03,407 --> 00:56:05,909
<i>I'm getting there. Yes!</i>

864
00:56:08,286 --> 00:56:09,454
<i>I did it!</i>

865
00:56:09,663 --> 00:56:12,582
<i>I made it! I walked!</i>

866
00:56:14,876 --> 00:56:19,464
Honey, you walked! You walked!

867
00:56:19,715 --> 00:56:21,550
Stuart! You walked!

868
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,261
James! Julie...

869
00:56:26,972 --> 00:56:28,890
Jimmy called. He'll pick up the kids.

870
00:56:29,141 --> 00:56:31,893
Did he ask to talk to me at all?

871
00:56:32,144 --> 00:56:33,895
It's only been a couple days.

872
00:56:34,146 --> 00:56:36,481
Okay, fine, fine. Let's work.

873
00:56:36,732 --> 00:56:40,193
I got a spouse who wants to
contribute into an IRA account.

874
00:56:40,444 --> 00:56:42,195
Her husband's covered by a pension.

875
00:56:42,404 --> 00:56:45,115
You'd lose a $2000 deduction.

876
00:56:45,991 --> 00:56:47,659
I think you're being lazy.

877
00:56:47,909 --> 00:56:50,620
You need to do a separate
and a joint return.

878
00:56:50,871 --> 00:56:52,331
- I know.
- I know you know.

879
00:56:52,581 --> 00:56:54,541
I know you know I know.

880
00:56:54,791 --> 00:56:57,627
Get a load of this asshole here.
He's a teacher.

881
00:56:57,878 --> 00:57:00,255
He figures that
his chair and his desk...

882
00:57:00,505 --> 00:57:04,343
...are 1/4 of his six-room apartment.

883
00:57:04,593 --> 00:57:07,846
So he deducts
1/24 of his residence as work space.

884
00:57:08,055 --> 00:57:11,641
- Stuart, you can't do that.
- It's only 1/24. Who will care?

885
00:57:11,892 --> 00:57:15,062
He has a classroom
and a teacher's lounge.

886
00:57:15,312 --> 00:57:17,648
And that's employer-provided
work space.

887
00:57:17,856 --> 00:57:20,233
- You're strict.
- You could get away with it.

888
00:57:20,442 --> 00:57:22,653
You want to be a criminal? Good.

889
00:57:23,070 --> 00:57:24,363
What is wrong?

890
00:57:24,613 --> 00:57:25,697
Well, look at us!

891
00:57:25,947 --> 00:57:29,242
It's Saturday at 10:00,
and we're here with our 10-40s.

892
00:57:29,451 --> 00:57:30,619
It's tax season!

893
00:57:30,827 --> 00:57:33,580
I don't care.
We should be out having fun.

894
00:57:33,789 --> 00:57:35,165
Hey, this is fun.

895
00:57:37,459 --> 00:57:38,502
I know what's wrong.

896
00:57:39,169 --> 00:57:41,254
- I know what you're thinking.
- What?

897
00:57:41,505 --> 00:57:44,299
"What's Jimmy doing?
He's out having a ball."

898
00:57:44,841 --> 00:57:47,094
Yeah, "ball" being the operative word.

899
00:57:47,344 --> 00:57:49,096
Mollie, come on.

900
00:57:49,304 --> 00:57:51,765
He's probably on his sister's couch,
watching TV.

901
00:57:52,015 --> 00:57:53,767
No, he's probably getting laid.

902
00:57:53,975 --> 00:57:56,019
Thank you very much, Stuart!

903
00:57:56,228 --> 00:57:57,646
Mr. Wonderful, my brother.

904
00:57:57,854 --> 00:58:00,399
- It's just a physical thing.
- Just work.

905
00:58:02,109 --> 00:58:05,821
- Rona, let's go get something to eat.
- Okay, let's go.

906
00:58:23,630 --> 00:58:26,383
My wife would never let me
drive with the top down.

907
00:58:26,633 --> 00:58:28,343
She'd say it causes skin cancer.

908
00:58:28,552 --> 00:58:33,140
And she'd say these cause emphysema.
And this causes liver disease.

909
00:58:35,308 --> 00:58:36,977
Oh, man!

910
00:58:45,485 --> 00:58:49,239
What a rush! Oh, man!
My wife would have hated that.

911
00:58:49,448 --> 00:58:53,160
How dull!
You have to have some fun in life.

912
00:58:53,368 --> 00:58:55,662
You know what her idea
of living dangerously is?

913
00:58:55,912 --> 00:58:57,956
Forgetting one of her vitamins.

914
00:58:58,457 --> 00:59:02,127
What a snail!
Hey, let's go get some pork.

915
00:59:11,053 --> 00:59:12,095
You okay?

916
00:59:12,304 --> 00:59:17,392
Yeah, I'm fine. I just wish James
would get here, so I can go to work.

917
00:59:17,643 --> 00:59:19,895
Okay, you little brat,
let go of her head.

918
00:59:20,145 --> 00:59:23,231
Let go! Just, just...
Hey! Everybody in the circle.

919
00:59:23,482 --> 00:59:27,819
Everybody in the circle.
Just get in the circle!

920
00:59:28,070 --> 00:59:30,906
Everybody together.
Who am I talking to here?

921
00:59:31,406 --> 00:59:34,117
<i>Now, Eddie, run this potty thing</i>
<i>by me once more.</i>

922
00:59:34,409 --> 00:59:37,037
<i>You gotta take control</i>
<i>of the situation.</i>

923
00:59:37,537 --> 00:59:38,747
<i>How do you do that?</i>

924
00:59:38,955 --> 00:59:42,167
<i>You gotta say, "Hey, yo, pee pee,</i>
<i>I know you're in there.</i>

925
00:59:42,376 --> 00:59:44,544
<i>But you're not coming out</i>
<i>till I say so!"</i>

926
00:59:44,753 --> 00:59:46,380
<i>And the pee pees listen to you?</i>

927
00:59:46,588 --> 00:59:48,465
<i>Sometimes they do,</i>
<i>sometimes they don't.</i>

928
00:59:48,715 --> 00:59:50,425
<i>That's what grownups are for.</i>

929
00:59:51,927 --> 00:59:54,721
- Hey, buster, what are you doing?
- Nothing.

930
00:59:54,971 --> 00:59:57,224
Hey, Joey. Need some help?

931
00:59:57,474 --> 01:00:01,144
Get in a circle!
Indians dance in a circle! Help me!

932
01:00:01,395 --> 01:00:03,438
Jews and Italians dance in circles.

933
01:00:03,689 --> 01:00:05,774
- They like it.
- Let's help Joey out.

934
01:00:05,983 --> 01:00:07,818
Do that step we do.

935
01:00:09,277 --> 01:00:10,737
Do this, kids.

936
01:00:16,827 --> 01:00:19,204
Good! All right!

937
01:00:19,454 --> 01:00:21,915
- Elvis! Elvis!
- Elvis, my man!

938
01:00:22,165 --> 01:00:27,004
Come on! Dance! Dance!
Come on, damn it, I'll slap you!

939
01:00:28,213 --> 01:00:30,549
- Hey, twist. Twist!
- Turn, turn.

940
01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:33,677
Come on, twist.

941
01:00:35,595 --> 01:00:37,055
Follow me. That's it.

942
01:00:37,305 --> 01:00:41,393
Follow him.
Here, I'll give you a dollar.

943
01:00:59,911 --> 01:01:02,664
<i>- Hey, showoff. Get out of here.</i>
- Hey, Mike.

944
01:01:22,184 --> 01:01:26,188
Oh, I'm having a stroke!
Oh, boy!

945
01:01:41,244 --> 01:01:43,580
<i>Come here, Elvis.</i>
<i>I'm your kid, not them.</i>

946
01:01:43,789 --> 01:01:45,999
You hit me. You hit me.

947
01:01:46,208 --> 01:01:48,960
Hey, Mollie. See you later.

948
01:01:54,174 --> 01:01:57,719
What's with him?
He acts like I don't even exist.

949
01:01:57,928 --> 01:02:02,516
I don't get it. Am I losing it?

950
01:02:06,687 --> 01:02:09,606
Oh, man, Julie, if we're gonna
get your daddy back...

951
01:02:09,856 --> 01:02:13,151
...we're gonna have
to do some serious packaging.

952
01:02:14,027 --> 01:02:17,906
- Are you with me, kid?
<i>- Yeah, let's dress up for Daddy!</i>

953
01:03:25,182 --> 01:03:27,643
- Jimmy, hi.
- Hey, Rona. You look good.

954
01:03:27,851 --> 01:03:30,729
- Thanks, doll.
- All right, big boy. I'll see you.

955
01:03:30,979 --> 01:03:32,230
No, no. Don't go.

956
01:03:32,439 --> 01:03:34,483
- I gotta go.
- Mollie wants to talk.

957
01:03:34,733 --> 01:03:37,778
- For what?
- Jimmy, talk to her. Be nice.

958
01:03:40,781 --> 01:03:42,199
Oh, hi.

959
01:03:42,991 --> 01:03:44,534
You seen my sunglasses?

960
01:03:44,785 --> 01:03:48,705
Don't you think we should try
and work out some of your problems?

961
01:03:48,955 --> 01:03:52,042
The biggest problem I got
is squinting my eyes all day.

962
01:03:52,292 --> 01:03:54,127
Don't you even miss us?

963
01:03:54,336 --> 01:03:56,797
Calling out the heavy artillery, huh?

964
01:03:57,005 --> 01:04:00,050
- Do you always have to be a putz?
- Oh, pipe down!

965
01:04:02,260 --> 01:04:04,262
<i>Maybe I should try what Eddie said.</i>

966
01:04:04,930 --> 01:04:07,015
<i>I'll have a talk with my pee pee.</i>

967
01:04:07,224 --> 01:04:10,352
<i>I'm getting ready to go to the potty,</i>
<i>so don't come out.</i>

968
01:04:11,853 --> 01:04:14,731
<i>I can feel them in there,</i>
<i>but maybe it's working.</i>

969
01:04:14,982 --> 01:04:16,650
<i>Maybe Eddie was right.</i>

970
01:04:16,900 --> 01:04:19,111
<i>Okay, let's see if I can make it.</i>

971
01:04:20,404 --> 01:04:23,991
<i>Still feel them.</i>
<i>Maybe they're listening to me.</i>

972
01:04:24,241 --> 01:04:26,868
<i>Okay, don't come out.</i>
<i>Don't come out.</i>

973
01:04:27,327 --> 01:04:29,329
<i>It's getting a little tougher now.</i>

974
01:04:30,205 --> 01:04:32,541
<i>Don't come out. I'm almost there.</i>

975
01:04:33,959 --> 01:04:36,837
<i>I might make it.</i>
<i>Don't come out.</i>

976
01:04:37,546 --> 01:04:39,548
<i>I had to pinch that one back.</i>

977
01:04:40,048 --> 01:04:41,717
<i>Don't come out.</i>

978
01:04:42,050 --> 01:04:46,346
<i>I might make it if I could just</i>
<i>get these doggone pants down.</i>

979
01:04:46,596 --> 01:04:48,056
<i>Wait a minute, hold it.</i>

980
01:04:56,815 --> 01:04:57,983
Mommy! Daddy!

981
01:04:58,400 --> 01:04:59,443
Mommy! Daddy!

982
01:04:59,735 --> 01:05:01,236
Mommy! Daddy!

983
01:05:02,404 --> 01:05:04,990
- What's wrong with him?
- What? What?

984
01:05:08,076 --> 01:05:10,912
- Honey! What a good boy!
- Mike, you did it!

985
01:05:11,121 --> 01:05:12,164
<i>I'm not done.</i>

986
01:05:12,372 --> 01:05:16,460
Rona! Stuart!
Mikey went pee pee in the potty!

987
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:17,961
<i>Pee pee in the potty</i>

988
01:05:18,211 --> 01:05:22,716
<i>Pee pee in the potty</i>
<i>Pee pee in the potty</i>

989
01:05:23,842 --> 01:05:26,553
Isn't it great, sweetie?
Your brother went pee pee.

990
01:05:26,970 --> 01:05:28,764
<i>Big deal. I made a doodie.</i>

991
01:05:29,765 --> 01:05:33,185
I can't believe this!
What a big boy! Good boy.

992
01:05:33,435 --> 01:05:35,646
I haven't felt this good
since he was born.

993
01:05:35,896 --> 01:05:38,607
It's better than money.
It's better than aeroplanes.

994
01:05:38,857 --> 01:05:40,525
It's better than sex!

995
01:05:41,068 --> 01:05:43,779
Well, I don't know about that, but...

996
01:05:45,447 --> 01:05:46,281
You hungry?

997
01:05:47,449 --> 01:05:48,492
I gotta go.

998
01:05:48,700 --> 01:05:52,162
- I could fix anything you want.
- I got a 9:00 flight.

999
01:05:52,371 --> 01:05:53,622
But it's pouring!

1000
01:05:54,081 --> 01:05:56,500
It's better to be up
in the air pouring...

1001
01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:58,502
...than it is on a highway in cars.

1002
01:05:58,752 --> 01:06:00,587
Who said the highway was safe?

1003
01:06:00,837 --> 01:06:04,841
Every year there's 200,000
fatalities related to the rain.

1004
01:06:12,432 --> 01:06:14,851
Rona! You want some chicken?

1005
01:06:15,060 --> 01:06:17,604
It depends on how it turns out.

1006
01:06:17,854 --> 01:06:21,525
Okay, so what do you need?
Paprika, vegetables?

1007
01:06:24,611 --> 01:06:27,239
Hey, Mollie.
Do you want some chicken?

1008
01:06:27,447 --> 01:06:31,368
<i>- Hurricane Jonathan spreading damage.</i>
- I don't eat meat.

1009
01:06:31,576 --> 01:06:33,704
<i>Forecast calls for increased winds.</i>

1010
01:06:35,163 --> 01:06:36,540
That's it.

1011
01:06:36,957 --> 01:06:40,085
I have to talk to Jimmy.
This is crazy.

1012
01:06:44,464 --> 01:06:47,009
This is Mollie Ubriacco.
Can I speak to my husband?

1013
01:06:47,217 --> 01:06:51,304
<i>- He's on the field.</i>
- He is? Has he taxied out yet?

1014
01:06:51,513 --> 01:06:54,433
<i>- Not yet.</i>
- Can somebody get him?

1015
01:06:54,641 --> 01:06:56,768
- It's an emergency.
<i>- No.</i>

1016
01:06:57,894 --> 01:07:00,105
- Could you reach him on his phone?
<i>- No.</i>

1017
01:07:00,355 --> 01:07:03,483
Damn! All right, all right.
What terminal is he in?

1018
01:07:03,734 --> 01:07:05,736
<i>Airborne Express terminal.</i>

1019
01:07:05,944 --> 01:07:08,196
- What ramp?
<i>- You'll have to come in and ask.</i>

1020
01:07:08,405 --> 01:07:10,115
Okay, thank you very much.

1021
01:07:10,365 --> 01:07:13,618
Stuart, I've gotta go get James.

1022
01:07:13,827 --> 01:07:15,537
You feed the kids their dinner.

1023
01:07:15,787 --> 01:07:18,874
Do not give them any diet Coke
like last time.

1024
01:07:32,471 --> 01:07:33,889
Excuse me.

1025
01:07:34,681 --> 01:07:36,350
Where's Jimmy?

1026
01:07:36,558 --> 01:07:39,311
- Where's he going?
- Reno or something like that.

1027
01:07:55,327 --> 01:07:56,620
Wait! Hold it!

1028
01:07:56,870 --> 01:07:58,038
Wait a minute!

1029
01:07:58,330 --> 01:08:02,918
- New York Centre, 135.9.
47, Poppa.

1030
01:08:03,168 --> 01:08:04,544
What're you doing here?

1031
01:08:04,753 --> 01:08:07,130
- It was an emergency.
- You shouldn't be here.

1032
01:08:07,339 --> 01:08:09,966
No, you shouldn't be here.
It's too dangerous.

1033
01:08:10,175 --> 01:08:12,678
I've told you,
we fly around the weather.

1034
01:08:12,886 --> 01:08:14,596
You can't fly around it.

1035
01:08:14,846 --> 01:08:17,975
It's wall-to-wall storms.
Didn't you listen to the news?

1036
01:08:18,308 --> 01:08:21,186
- The news always upsets you.
- Forget the news.

1037
01:08:21,395 --> 01:08:25,315
- I have a gut feeling you shouldn't fly!
- We don't need your gut feeling.

1038
01:08:25,524 --> 01:08:29,820
We got sophisticated instruments
that tell me exactly where I can go.

1039
01:08:30,070 --> 01:08:32,239
I got clearance
and I'm leaving, so go.

1040
01:08:32,447 --> 01:08:34,408
- I'm not leaving without you.
- Get out.

1041
01:08:34,616 --> 01:08:36,034
- I'm not leaving.
- Get out!

1042
01:08:36,243 --> 01:08:40,622
<i>47 Poppa, due to adverse weather</i>
<i>we're cancelling all flights.</i>

1043
01:08:40,872 --> 01:08:42,916
<i>Do you read me, 47 Poppa?</i>

1044
01:08:44,584 --> 01:08:47,921
Okay, that's 47 Poppa.
You can cancel our flight plan.

1045
01:08:48,130 --> 01:08:49,589
<i>Roger, 47 Poppa.</i>

1046
01:08:49,798 --> 01:08:53,135
So I guess this time
your feeling was right, huh?

1047
01:08:53,510 --> 01:08:55,137
Does that make you happy?

1048
01:08:55,846 --> 01:08:59,182
Jimmy, I love you.

1049
01:08:59,433 --> 01:09:02,185
I don't care anymore
if I'm right or wrong.

1050
01:09:03,603 --> 01:09:05,647
You do too, you liar.

1051
01:09:06,231 --> 01:09:08,775
Well, I sort of like being right.

1052
01:09:10,277 --> 01:09:11,903
But I do love you.

1053
01:09:14,948 --> 01:09:16,491
I love you too.

1054
01:09:33,175 --> 01:09:36,178
I got you! Attack!
It's coming through!

1055
01:09:36,386 --> 01:09:38,013
<i>Bombs away!</i>

1056
01:09:38,263 --> 01:09:41,516
<i>A little napalm ought</i>
<i>to slow you down, colonel.</i>

1057
01:09:42,559 --> 01:09:45,687
<i>Thank God they left me</i>
<i>with a responsible adult.</i>

1058
01:09:53,487 --> 01:09:56,323
I got you! I got you!

1059
01:09:56,573 --> 01:09:59,868
<i>Charge! I got you!</i>

1060
01:10:00,369 --> 01:10:02,204
<i>Yes, you are my prisoner!</i>

1061
01:10:02,454 --> 01:10:05,499
Okay, I give up.
I surrender. I surrender.

1062
01:10:05,707 --> 01:10:08,210
<i>How about a little squirt</i>
<i>in the nostril?</i>

1063
01:10:09,753 --> 01:10:13,423
Let me get the chicken.
This ain't over. This ain't over.

1064
01:10:13,674 --> 01:10:16,009
I'll get my troops together.
We'll be back.

1065
01:10:32,359 --> 01:10:35,112
Mikey, watch Julie, okay?

1066
01:10:36,196 --> 01:10:38,657
<i>Why? Is she gonna do something</i>
<i>besides slobber?</i>

1067
01:10:48,750 --> 01:10:51,712
Freeze! Okay, put the bag down.

1068
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:54,339
Slow. Nobody's gonna get hurt.
Come on.

1069
01:10:54,548 --> 01:10:55,799
Put the bag down.

1070
01:11:00,137 --> 01:11:01,179
Shit.

1071
01:11:09,563 --> 01:11:10,605
Stop!

1072
01:11:34,129 --> 01:11:36,423
The kids are gonna be so excited.

1073
01:11:36,673 --> 01:11:38,342
- Who's watching them?
- Stuart.

1074
01:11:38,592 --> 01:11:41,261
Stuart! Oh, no.
What are you, nuts?

1075
01:11:41,511 --> 01:11:43,305
Everything'll be all right.

1076
01:11:47,517 --> 01:11:48,977
<i>Holy cow!</i>

1077
01:11:49,227 --> 01:11:51,688
<i>Okay, stay calm.</i>
<i>Just get Uncle Stuart.</i>

1078
01:11:51,897 --> 01:11:54,816
<i>Uncle Stuart! Uncle Stuart!</i>
<i>Uncle Stuart!</i>

1079
01:11:55,442 --> 01:11:56,485
<i>Oh, great!</i>

1080
01:12:00,155 --> 01:12:01,573
Stop that guy!

1081
01:12:08,872 --> 01:12:10,624
<i>Hey, where's Mommy?</i>

1082
01:12:10,832 --> 01:12:13,794
<i>I don't know where Uncle Stuart is,</i>
<i>but we gotta get out.</i>

1083
01:12:14,044 --> 01:12:15,712
<i>This is too much hot stuff.</i>

1084
01:12:16,213 --> 01:12:18,632
<i>Mikey, this stuff is scary!</i>

1085
01:12:18,882 --> 01:12:20,634
<i>- It's okay, Julie.</i>
<i>- I'm afraid.</i>

1086
01:12:20,842 --> 01:12:25,055
<i>I'll take care of you. I don't know</i>
<i>where that bonehead Uncle Stuart is.</i>

1087
01:12:25,263 --> 01:12:28,308
<i>Now keep your hands in, Julie.</i>
<i>Don't touch anything.</i>

1088
01:12:43,615 --> 01:12:46,076
What did you do that for?
I had him whipped.

1089
01:12:46,284 --> 01:12:49,454
- Did you want me to let him kill you?
- What?!

1090
01:12:49,663 --> 01:12:52,040
- Where are the kids?
- They're upstairs.

1091
01:12:54,126 --> 01:12:55,460
Oh, my God!

1092
01:12:58,839 --> 01:13:00,465
I'll take the stairs.

1093
01:13:02,759 --> 01:13:05,053
<i>Okay, here we go.</i>
<i>I think we're safe.</i>

1094
01:13:07,014 --> 01:13:09,182
<i>- That was close.</i>
- How did you get down here?

1095
01:13:09,391 --> 01:13:12,936
<i>- We just walked.</i>
<i>- Technically, I was pushed.</i>

1096
01:13:13,145 --> 01:13:16,898
- Call the fire department.
- Okay. Come on, baby.

1097
01:13:34,958 --> 01:13:37,169
"Turn, open and press."

1098
01:13:47,679 --> 01:13:49,473
Yes! Yes!

1099
01:13:51,391 --> 01:13:55,520
I chased him down here.
We were going down some fire escape.

1100
01:13:55,729 --> 01:14:00,317
I chased him down. I jumped
on the guy and I sucker-punched him.

1101
01:14:00,525 --> 01:14:04,655
He is amazing, isn't he?
Stuart, let's get married!

1102
01:14:04,905 --> 01:14:06,156
Yeah!

1103
01:14:06,448 --> 01:14:09,117
You're lucky the fire didn't spread.

1104
01:14:09,368 --> 01:14:12,871
- Thank God I got that extinguisher.
- I got the fire extinguisher.

1105
01:14:13,705 --> 01:14:16,583
- I got the fire exting...
- No, I bought it.

1106
01:14:16,792 --> 01:14:21,171
Who left the kids with Stuart?
That was a pretty bonehead idea, huh?

1107
01:14:24,549 --> 01:14:26,176
Good answer.

1108
01:14:31,974 --> 01:14:34,768
I'm worried about you
barbecuing all the time.

1109
01:14:35,018 --> 01:14:38,188
- Will you relax?
- It's not good for the environment.

1110
01:14:38,438 --> 01:14:43,527
We just got one of these
brand-new outdoor electric stoves.

1111
01:14:43,902 --> 01:14:46,822
They don't do anything bad.
You're such a nudge.

1112
01:14:47,072 --> 01:14:49,574
I don't know how you put up with her.

1113
01:14:49,825 --> 01:14:53,078
Tune her out. Tune her out.

1114
01:14:53,286 --> 01:14:56,873
- I'm trying to educate you people!
- We're getting along fine.

1115
01:14:57,082 --> 01:15:00,711
Rona, how do you like
living with Stuart?

1116
01:15:01,211 --> 01:15:04,965
<i>Mikey, okay.</i>
<i>You got me out of the hot stuff.</i>

1117
01:15:05,549 --> 01:15:06,800
<i>I don't get it.</i>

1118
01:15:07,009 --> 01:15:10,220
<i>Listen. You know,</i>
<i>hot stuff can be very bad for you.</i>

1119
01:15:10,470 --> 01:15:12,639
<i>It's especially not good for kids.</i>

1120
01:15:13,181 --> 01:15:17,144
<i>But I thought you hated me.</i>
<i>You're always mean to me and stuff.</i>

1121
01:15:17,352 --> 01:15:20,188
<i>Yeah, well, I do hate you</i>
<i>a lot of the time.</i>

1122
01:15:20,897 --> 01:15:22,899
<i>You drive me crazy, you bug me...</i>

1123
01:15:23,150 --> 01:15:25,819
<i>... you poke me in the eye,</i>
<i>but you're my sister.</i>

1124
01:15:26,069 --> 01:15:29,656
<i>It's my job to love you.</i>
<i>We gotta stick together.</i>

1125
01:15:30,282 --> 01:15:33,910
<i>The way I see it,</i>
<i>there's us and there's them.</i>

1126
01:15:35,203 --> 01:15:37,748
<i>Yeah, big ones don't make any sense.</i>

1127
01:15:37,998 --> 01:15:40,625
<i>You never know what</i>
<i>big ones are gonna do.</i>

1128
01:15:41,043 --> 01:15:44,588
<i>That's for sure.</i>
<i>That's why we have to stick together.</i>

1129
01:15:45,714 --> 01:15:47,299
<i>You and me.</i>

1130
01:15:47,591 --> 01:15:48,884
<i>You and me?</i>

1131
01:15:49,134 --> 01:15:53,388
<i>That's right. You and me.</i>
<i>We're the kids!</i>

1132
01:15:53,764 --> 01:15:55,015
<i>Yeah.</i>

1133
01:20:09,561 --> 01:20:10,604
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

1134
01:20:11,271 --> 01:20:13,231
<i>Oh, my tush hurts.</i>