1 00:01:37,504 --> 00:01:40,564 That wasn't a store robbery. 2 00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,632 That was an assassination. 3 00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:45,804 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 4 00:01:45,879 --> 00:01:48,973 How do I know? 5 00:01:49,049 --> 00:01:52,712 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit. 6 00:01:52,786 --> 00:01:54,947 You could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable... 7 00:01:55,022 --> 00:01:57,422 with the rancorous workings of the Mob... 8 00:01:57,491 --> 00:01:59,925 in the midwest section of this country. 9 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:03,589 I know gangland slayings, and that's exactly what this is. 10 00:02:03,664 --> 00:02:07,031 I'd look into it personally, but I got a date tonight. 11 00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:11,365 Think I'll take the private jet and fly to Spain, 12 00:02:11,438 --> 00:02:13,338 pick up the little lady, 13 00:02:13,407 --> 00:02:15,898 do the subsonic tummy bump at 30,000 feet... 14 00:02:15,976 --> 00:02:19,139 then glide back into the U.S. Of A. By dawn. 15 00:02:19,213 --> 00:02:23,616 I know what you're gonna say: "Jim Dodge, settle down. 16 00:02:23,684 --> 00:02:25,811 Relax. You owe it to yourself." 17 00:02:25,886 --> 00:02:28,650 I'll tell you what I tell everybody. 18 00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:31,782 Any little fraulein that expects anything more from me... 19 00:02:31,859 --> 00:02:33,884 than a little bit of pleasure, danger... 20 00:02:33,961 --> 00:02:36,020 and a great set of pectorals, 21 00:02:36,096 --> 00:02:38,690 she's looking for a fall right on her ass. 22 00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:42,825 [Barking] 23 00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:45,872 - Hubie, Hubie! - Let me tell you something. 24 00:02:45,939 --> 00:02:49,340 If you know what's good for you, don't you ever come back! 25 00:02:50,277 --> 00:02:52,711 You're not gonna find someone who has the relationship... 26 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:55,647 with those animals that I do. 27 00:02:55,716 --> 00:02:58,617 Listen to the dogs. They love me! 28 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:03,114 It all started when I was 15. 29 00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:06,523 That's when I invented the artificial cow heart. 30 00:03:06,593 --> 00:03:09,426 Oh, that was a big thing. 31 00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:12,397 A little before your time, but it made the newspapers. 32 00:03:12,466 --> 00:03:15,492 ABC, NBC, CBS, they picked up on it. 33 00:03:15,569 --> 00:03:18,299 But it's more or less a hobby for me, boys. 34 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:21,474 [Boy] Scoot over! 35 00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:26,245 Actually, today I decided... 36 00:03:26,313 --> 00:03:31,273 I've gone about as far as I can go in the animal health-care business. 37 00:03:31,352 --> 00:03:35,345 The reason that I'm not at work this afternoon... 38 00:03:35,422 --> 00:03:39,051 is because I was made an offer I cannot refuse. I sold. 39 00:03:39,126 --> 00:03:41,026 Whatcha gonna do with the cash? 40 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:44,292 Invest it overseas, projects in Eastern Europe. 41 00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:46,765 I don't know. I've got everything. 42 00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:49,928 Jim, you just bought the animal hospital. 43 00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:52,471 How come you sold it so fast? 44 00:03:54,074 --> 00:03:56,008 Tax problem. 45 00:03:56,076 --> 00:03:58,340 And here's my accountant right now. 46 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:01,438 Earl, take a bow. Ha-ha-ha! 47 00:04:01,515 --> 00:04:04,484 20 minutes for lunch. Go buy another suit. 48 00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:06,610 He works for me. 49 00:04:06,687 --> 00:04:09,520 He's scouting some real estate for me, 50 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:11,717 but the market's real tight. 51 00:04:14,795 --> 00:04:16,922 I like the new uniform, Lorraine. 52 00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:21,296 With the right shoes and handbag, 53 00:04:21,368 --> 00:04:23,802 that might be suitable for a cocktail party. 54 00:04:23,871 --> 00:04:26,601 So... question. 55 00:04:26,673 --> 00:04:29,699 When in the world are you going to start serving sashimi? 56 00:04:29,777 --> 00:04:32,473 Maybe when I find out what it is. 57 00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:36,944 You've never heard of sashimi? 58 00:04:37,017 --> 00:04:39,508 You've got to be kidding. 59 00:04:39,586 --> 00:04:42,384 It's this special Japanese fish you eat raw. 60 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,390 A little butter sauce, 61 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,949 and you're ready to go to heaven. 62 00:04:47,027 --> 00:04:51,760 I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't already fired you so many times. 63 00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:54,665 Did you ever think of leaving town? 64 00:04:56,537 --> 00:04:59,700 Thousands of people over in St. Louis... 65 00:04:59,773 --> 00:05:04,540 got no idea how full of shit you are. 66 00:05:04,611 --> 00:05:08,138 You've been alive for 21 years, my friend. 67 00:05:08,215 --> 00:05:10,149 Plenty of time for most people... 68 00:05:10,217 --> 00:05:12,549 to find a place for themselves. 69 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:18,181 Well, I'm not like everybody else. 70 00:05:18,258 --> 00:05:21,284 - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, that's for sure. 71 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:25,798 How about if I... 72 00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:28,334 I work for you for free? 73 00:05:28,402 --> 00:05:30,336 [Bell] 74 00:05:30,404 --> 00:05:32,872 No. 75 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,965 I'm afraid not, Jimmy. 76 00:05:36,076 --> 00:05:38,544 Think about St. Louis. 77 00:05:39,913 --> 00:05:41,847 - Hey, Josie. - Hi. 78 00:05:41,915 --> 00:05:44,941 - Fill her up? - Fill her up. 79 00:06:03,003 --> 00:06:05,164 How you doin'? 80 00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:24,919 You got fired again, didn't you? Didn't you? 81 00:06:24,992 --> 00:06:27,051 Who told you that? 82 00:06:27,127 --> 00:06:31,723 - Hubie Marshall called me at work. - He called you at work? 83 00:06:31,798 --> 00:06:34,858 That's it, I'm gonna... What'd he say? 84 00:06:34,935 --> 00:06:36,869 He said he fired ya! 85 00:06:38,372 --> 00:06:40,306 He said that? And you believed him? 86 00:06:40,374 --> 00:06:42,467 Damn straight I do! 87 00:06:42,543 --> 00:06:45,808 With all due respect, Dad, you're Mr. Gullible. Sometimes. 88 00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:49,607 The truth of the matter is, Dad, I resigned. 89 00:06:50,884 --> 00:06:54,149 - I'll tell you something else. - Shut up, Jimmy! 90 00:06:54,221 --> 00:06:57,156 I had no idea the job was gonna be a hire/fire situation. 91 00:06:58,258 --> 00:07:00,658 Luther Betenhauser's boy is doing better. 92 00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:03,161 - What's wrong with him? - Fell off his grandfather's silo. 93 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:06,393 - He's got brain damage. - He does not. 94 00:07:06,466 --> 00:07:09,993 Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna hang out his mouth the rest of his life. 95 00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:11,833 And when he dies, 96 00:07:11,905 --> 00:07:14,430 at the funeral they're gonna put a mask on him. 97 00:07:14,508 --> 00:07:18,035 Do I have to listen to this while I'm eating? 98 00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:20,045 Let's talk about something else. 99 00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:26,416 Josie McClellan moved to New York. 100 00:07:27,888 --> 00:07:29,913 She did not. I saw her today. 101 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,481 I don't know how you could. 102 00:07:32,559 --> 00:07:35,494 I heard she got tired of taking care of her father, 103 00:07:35,562 --> 00:07:37,928 and she told him to jump in a lake, 104 00:07:37,998 --> 00:07:40,193 and left to get her M.B.A. In high-fashion design... 105 00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:42,462 at the University of New York City. 106 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:46,966 I just saw her at the gas station in living color. 107 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,008 We had a cup of java together. 108 00:07:49,076 --> 00:07:53,206 I'm gonna take Lou Selby's word over yours any day. 109 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,339 Lou Selby's a drunk. 110 00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,610 For a guy who's just lost his umpteenth job, 111 00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:02,153 you sure are handy with the tongue sword. 112 00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:06,348 - You got canned again? - Well, he didn't get canned. 113 00:08:07,358 --> 00:08:09,519 He got fired. 114 00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:11,619 That's gotta be a record. 115 00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:17,801 Not only are you an obnoxious slug, 116 00:08:17,869 --> 00:08:20,360 but you're a freeloading obnoxious slug. 117 00:08:20,438 --> 00:08:22,406 You should talk. 118 00:08:22,473 --> 00:08:24,737 In your mid-forties, still living at home. 119 00:08:26,311 --> 00:08:29,405 I'm twenty-four, and I pay rent. 120 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,744 - So do I. - You did pay rent. 121 00:08:31,816 --> 00:08:36,048 Dad, you mean you're cutting my rent? 122 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,350 Hell, no! 123 00:08:38,423 --> 00:08:41,392 You're not paying rent because you don't have a job or any money. 124 00:08:41,459 --> 00:08:44,121 You're out of school and you live in this house, you pay rent. 125 00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:52,668 # I wanna stay home # 126 00:08:54,605 --> 00:08:58,439 # I wanna stay home right here # 127 00:08:58,509 --> 00:09:02,536 # I wanna stay home today # 128 00:09:03,614 --> 00:09:06,276 Jim! Yo, Jim! 129 00:09:06,351 --> 00:09:08,478 Jim, wake up! 130 00:09:08,553 --> 00:09:10,646 Hey, get up! 131 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:15,824 Get u-u-up! 132 00:09:16,694 --> 00:09:19,663 # When my day begins ## 133 00:09:19,731 --> 00:09:23,064 [Jim] You know, getting this job, 134 00:09:23,134 --> 00:09:26,934 restoring your faith and pride in me is a number-1 priority. 135 00:09:27,005 --> 00:09:29,997 Priority ought to be making something of yourself. 136 00:09:30,074 --> 00:09:32,008 That's right up there. 137 00:09:32,076 --> 00:09:35,910 When I was your age, I couldn't wait to get out of my folks' house. 138 00:09:38,116 --> 00:09:39,515 I love living at home. 139 00:09:49,861 --> 00:09:53,024 I don't think this is such a great place for me to work. 140 00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:57,801 Okay, 141 00:09:57,869 --> 00:10:01,737 say I don't get this job, hypothetically. 142 00:10:01,806 --> 00:10:03,239 Are you gonna be upset? 143 00:10:03,307 --> 00:10:06,674 You don't get this job, you're on a bus to St. Louis. 144 00:10:06,744 --> 00:10:08,439 St. Louis? 145 00:10:08,513 --> 00:10:10,640 Uncle Jeff's offered you work in his garden shop. 146 00:10:10,715 --> 00:10:13,115 I don't know anything about gardening. 147 00:10:13,184 --> 00:10:15,482 You will learn! 148 00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:18,681 I'm getting a feeling that you want me out of your life. 149 00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:21,919 I don't want you out of my life, I want you out of my house. 150 00:10:23,461 --> 00:10:25,395 - Wow. - Out! 151 00:10:25,463 --> 00:10:27,158 Okay, okay, okay. 152 00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:47,376 - Sure I can't offer you a bear claw? - No, thanks. 153 00:10:47,452 --> 00:10:50,944 - They're good, fresh. - No, I'm fine. 154 00:10:51,022 --> 00:10:54,389 You don't want one, and I don't need one. 155 00:10:54,459 --> 00:10:57,053 - Right! - I love the darn things, though. 156 00:10:57,128 --> 00:11:01,030 I could eat those by the dozen. By the looks of it, I have. 157 00:11:01,099 --> 00:11:03,033 Right. 158 00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:06,070 I'm so excited that you're considering... 159 00:11:06,137 --> 00:11:09,436 joining the Target team. We all are. 160 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:12,304 I appreciate that. 161 00:11:12,376 --> 00:11:15,868 Good. Then let's cut right to the chase. 162 00:11:17,281 --> 00:11:20,614 We're prepared to offer you $42,500 a year... 163 00:11:20,685 --> 00:11:22,812 with a full benefit package. 164 00:11:22,887 --> 00:11:25,253 That's dental, medical, 165 00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,484 profit sharing, pension, 166 00:11:27,558 --> 00:11:30,527 expense account, car allowance, 167 00:11:30,595 --> 00:11:32,256 vacation, of course, 168 00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:36,391 and any and all relocating expenses. 169 00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:40,563 This is our first, best, and last offer. What do you think? 170 00:11:41,272 --> 00:11:44,139 Well... um, C. D... 171 00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:46,005 with all due respect, 172 00:11:46,077 --> 00:11:48,045 I came in here... 173 00:11:48,112 --> 00:11:50,774 with the number forty-five in mind, and... 174 00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:58,151 ## ["Jeopardy Theme"] 175 00:12:08,766 --> 00:12:10,825 Hmph. 176 00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:15,531 [Chuckling] You've got me. 177 00:12:16,541 --> 00:12:19,533 - Forty-five it is. - [Laughing] 178 00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:22,374 - Welcome aboard. - Thank you. 179 00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:24,744 - I'd like to buy you lunch. - No, no, no. 180 00:12:24,815 --> 00:12:27,010 Your money's no good here. Lunch is mine. 181 00:12:27,084 --> 00:12:30,019 - I'm not going to argue. - Better not. I'm bigger than you. 182 00:12:30,087 --> 00:12:32,021 [Intercom Buzzer] 183 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:34,580 Hang on a second. I told her to hold my calls. 184 00:12:34,659 --> 00:12:37,719 Yeah, Peg. Uh-huh. 185 00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:39,990 No, it's okay. 186 00:12:40,064 --> 00:12:43,192 - He's right here with me now. - Hi, Peg. 187 00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:45,758 We just closed the deal. Uh-huh. 188 00:12:45,836 --> 00:12:50,170 It was a slam-dunk, too. I got him for forty-five. 189 00:12:50,241 --> 00:12:54,837 [Chuckling] 190 00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:57,437 No, he's right here. 191 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,451 What do you mean he missed the plane? 192 00:13:03,688 --> 00:13:05,781 Then who the hell am I talking to? 193 00:13:07,592 --> 00:13:09,526 Ohhh! 194 00:13:11,596 --> 00:13:15,498 I'll, uh... I'll get back to you. 195 00:13:15,566 --> 00:13:18,000 I know a great, little Italian place... 196 00:13:18,069 --> 00:13:20,503 that has the best pasta primatonis in the wor... 197 00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:22,505 Excuse me a minute, will you please? 198 00:13:22,573 --> 00:13:25,599 - Lovely wife you have there. - Dodge, James? 199 00:13:27,011 --> 00:13:30,105 - Mm-hmm. - [Clears Throat] 200 00:13:30,181 --> 00:13:32,706 James, I'm afraid we have a little misunderstanding. 201 00:13:32,783 --> 00:13:35,616 You see, I thought you came in for the, uh... 202 00:13:35,686 --> 00:13:39,144 operations manager's job. 203 00:13:39,223 --> 00:13:42,659 I have you down here as night cleanup boy. 204 00:13:45,062 --> 00:13:46,927 Well, I'm a little overpaid... 205 00:13:46,998 --> 00:13:49,796 for night cleanup boy, wouldn't you say? 206 00:13:51,435 --> 00:13:55,769 The truth is, James, I can offer you $4.44 per hour. 207 00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:02,135 Uh, four, four... $4.44... 208 00:14:02,213 --> 00:14:05,580 - $4.44. - What about the benefits? 209 00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:08,084 Two fifteen-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. 210 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:13,522 And the title is, uh, night... cleanup boy. 211 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,422 Yes. 212 00:14:17,728 --> 00:14:18,956 I'll take it. 213 00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:21,658 Oh, and, uh... Iose the curl. 214 00:14:23,534 --> 00:14:26,992 - Welcome to the Target team. - Thank you. 215 00:14:27,071 --> 00:14:30,336 [Man] So the parrot says, "Of course I can talk." 216 00:14:30,408 --> 00:14:33,241 - Can you fly? - [Laughing] 217 00:14:34,912 --> 00:14:39,042 I don't want any damn Japanese automobile plant in this town. 218 00:14:41,686 --> 00:14:44,712 It... it means jobs. 219 00:14:44,789 --> 00:14:46,848 I don't need a job. 220 00:14:46,924 --> 00:14:49,688 Your governor's tryin' to use my town as a political chip. 221 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,489 [Roger] I resent that. 222 00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:55,430 There could be some specific benefits for you personally. 223 00:14:59,537 --> 00:15:02,028 [Roger] Josie! 224 00:15:03,974 --> 00:15:06,135 - Yeah? - Come here. 225 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:09,446 Meet these gentlemen from the governor's office. 226 00:15:10,581 --> 00:15:13,880 Come on in here, honey. 227 00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:30,967 Honey, I want you to meet Bill, uh... 228 00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:34,697 Uh, Bob. Bob Bosenbeck. 229 00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:39,198 Bob. 230 00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,217 Dave. 231 00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:01,595 My pleasure, Dave. 232 00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:06,693 Right. Dave Hockner. 233 00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:09,796 I don't want to interrupt. 234 00:16:09,873 --> 00:16:12,068 Very nice to meet both of you. 235 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:13,769 Bye. 236 00:16:13,844 --> 00:16:15,778 [Hockner] Bye. 237 00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:23,376 [Roger] Josie? 238 00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:25,387 Josie! 239 00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:29,825 [Footsteps] 240 00:16:32,663 --> 00:16:36,030 You pull another stunt like you did today, 241 00:16:36,099 --> 00:16:39,364 I'll beat the livin' daylights outta you! 242 00:16:47,978 --> 00:16:50,913 [Passionate Moaning] 243 00:16:58,488 --> 00:17:01,787 - [Gasping] - All right, out! 244 00:17:01,858 --> 00:17:04,053 [Screaming] 245 00:17:04,127 --> 00:17:07,528 Out of the vehicle, ma'am. Get out of here! 246 00:17:07,597 --> 00:17:09,565 Get out of the car! 247 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,280 Right on time! 248 00:17:34,624 --> 00:17:36,558 Everything's going as planned. 249 00:17:37,694 --> 00:17:38,956 You ordered a limousine? 250 00:17:40,364 --> 00:17:42,764 Of course. 251 00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:44,767 My first day of work. 252 00:17:44,835 --> 00:17:47,929 How's it gonna look if my dad drives me? 253 00:17:48,004 --> 00:17:49,938 A little treat for getting the job. 254 00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,997 It was only fifty bucks. 255 00:17:52,075 --> 00:17:54,407 [Whistling] 256 00:17:54,478 --> 00:17:57,379 - Right on time, Henry. - Yes, sir. 257 00:17:57,447 --> 00:18:01,281 Henry, the sign... very wrong. 258 00:18:04,121 --> 00:18:06,146 Ciao! 259 00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:15,224 Hey, Jim, where you going? 260 00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:18,463 Hello, boys. 261 00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:21,060 Going to Paris on an F-14. 262 00:18:21,138 --> 00:18:23,936 Got a peace meeting with the vice president of Bulgaria. 263 00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:26,999 Business, you know? Then I'm going to Venice, 264 00:18:27,077 --> 00:18:29,375 for a spaghetti dinner with the princess of Austria. 265 00:18:29,446 --> 00:18:32,313 A beautiful lady... really big bones. 266 00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:35,010 Remember to brush your teeth, Melvin! 267 00:18:35,085 --> 00:18:38,577 You, too, Sidney! Adios! 268 00:18:40,257 --> 00:18:43,784 Jim is so cool! 269 00:18:45,996 --> 00:18:48,863 ## [Pop] 270 00:20:09,045 --> 00:20:10,137 Bobby. 271 00:20:11,948 --> 00:20:14,348 Got a loose tile here. In the morning... 272 00:20:14,417 --> 00:20:16,214 take care of it. 273 00:20:16,286 --> 00:20:19,153 I don't need a lawsuit, okay? 274 00:20:19,222 --> 00:20:21,452 I've got enough to worry about. 275 00:20:23,226 --> 00:20:24,454 Who's he? 276 00:20:24,528 --> 00:20:26,496 [P.A. System] Attention, shoppers. 277 00:20:26,563 --> 00:20:28,497 The store will be closing in five minutes. 278 00:20:28,565 --> 00:20:31,659 Bring all your purchases to the front. 279 00:20:31,735 --> 00:20:34,670 ## [Continues] 280 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:15,410 - Are you a slacker? - No, uh, Presbyterian. 281 00:21:15,478 --> 00:21:17,673 What did you say? What did you say? 282 00:21:17,747 --> 00:21:19,874 I'm askin' you a simple question. 283 00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:22,043 - Are you lazy? - No, sir. 284 00:21:22,118 --> 00:21:26,145 The last guy that wore that uniform was a lazy slacker, and I fired his butt. 285 00:21:27,724 --> 00:21:31,888 Uh, about the uniform, will I be getting my own? 286 00:21:31,962 --> 00:21:36,092 You work out, which I doubt, you can have a new name patch. 287 00:21:41,271 --> 00:21:45,605 Would I be able to have it laundered? It smells a little like Darnell. 288 00:21:45,675 --> 00:21:48,007 I don't think you know who you're messin' with. 289 00:21:48,912 --> 00:21:50,937 After you clean the ladies' and mens' crappers... 290 00:21:51,014 --> 00:21:54,074 and you'd better be able to eat off those bowls... 291 00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:56,948 you clean my coffee maker, then wax my desk. 292 00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:59,147 Uh, clean what? 293 00:21:59,222 --> 00:22:02,658 - Clean my coffee maker and wax my desk! - I got it! 294 00:22:02,726 --> 00:22:05,286 Sweep the aisles, startin' with health and beauty. 295 00:22:05,362 --> 00:22:07,296 Work your way over to juniors and misses. 296 00:22:07,364 --> 00:22:09,798 Ups and downs, leaving your debris in the cross aisles. 297 00:22:09,866 --> 00:22:11,800 So, I start with health and beauty... 298 00:22:11,868 --> 00:22:13,859 I just said to start with health and beauty! 299 00:22:13,937 --> 00:22:16,235 Then you do your cross aisles. 300 00:22:16,306 --> 00:22:18,240 That'll bring your dust bin into play. 301 00:22:18,308 --> 00:22:20,333 Take the debris. Load it into the dustbin. 302 00:22:20,410 --> 00:22:23,311 Take the dustbin out to the loading dock... 303 00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:25,314 and empty it into the receptacle. 304 00:22:25,382 --> 00:22:27,907 - Got that? Easy as pie. - Yeah. 305 00:22:27,984 --> 00:22:30,077 I was employed briefly at Del Taco, and... 306 00:22:30,153 --> 00:22:32,721 I don't care about your Del Taco experience. 307 00:22:32,855 --> 00:22:35,153 We've got this problem in this store with grazers. 308 00:22:35,224 --> 00:22:38,785 - You know what a grazer is? - Is that a farm term? 309 00:22:38,861 --> 00:22:42,854 It's a customer or employee that eats off the shelves, 310 00:22:42,931 --> 00:22:45,456 similar to a cow grazing in a field of grass. 311 00:22:45,534 --> 00:22:48,162 Only this isn't a field of grass, and you're not a cow. 312 00:22:48,237 --> 00:22:50,899 There's no eatin'. You're not being paid to eat, so don't! 313 00:22:50,973 --> 00:22:53,840 - Any questions? - Not right off hand. 314 00:22:53,909 --> 00:22:56,343 - Think you can handle it? - I'll give it the old college try. 315 00:22:56,411 --> 00:22:58,436 Don't touch me! 316 00:22:58,514 --> 00:23:01,210 Well, despite our age difference, 317 00:23:01,283 --> 00:23:03,251 I think I'll enjoy working with you. 318 00:23:03,318 --> 00:23:05,582 Let's get something straight. You ain't workin' with me. 319 00:23:05,654 --> 00:23:07,588 You're working for me. 320 00:23:07,656 --> 00:23:11,353 - Still, it'll be fun being around you. - I ain't gonna be near you. 321 00:23:11,426 --> 00:23:14,054 I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties out of Colleen Jackson. 322 00:23:14,129 --> 00:23:18,122 - You're not going to be here? - Hell, no. 323 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,794 I'm gonna be here by myself? 324 00:23:22,371 --> 00:23:26,137 That's right. And you'd better stay out of the ladies' undergoods. 325 00:23:27,576 --> 00:23:30,977 Wait a minute! Nobody told me I'd be here alone. 326 00:23:31,046 --> 00:23:33,514 - What are you doing? - Saving money. 327 00:23:33,582 --> 00:23:35,641 Wait! Are you turning off the lights? 328 00:23:35,717 --> 00:23:38,242 In 25 seconds, you got light in every third aisle. 329 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,686 When the sun comes up, turn off all the lights. 330 00:23:40,756 --> 00:23:41,123 I don't understand. Hold on! 331 00:23:41,123 --> 00:23:44,354 I don't understand. Hold on! 332 00:23:44,426 --> 00:23:46,291 I'm locking you in. 333 00:23:46,361 --> 00:23:48,454 When I come back at 7:00 to open up, 334 00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:49,963 I'll let you out. 335 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,595 - You're locking me in? - What do you take me for, a fool? 336 00:23:55,671 --> 00:23:59,072 Nobody gets keys on their first night. Nobody! 337 00:23:59,141 --> 00:24:01,336 Get to work! 338 00:24:01,410 --> 00:24:04,436 - What if there's a fire? - The fire department will come. 339 00:24:04,513 --> 00:24:08,847 - I could perish! - Ha-ha-ha. Boo! 340 00:24:08,917 --> 00:24:11,351 You can't do this. I'm locked in, alone, in the dark. 341 00:24:11,420 --> 00:24:15,356 That was not a part of my employment agreement. 342 00:25:02,771 --> 00:25:06,969 # You got to wash with the crocodile in the river # 343 00:25:07,042 --> 00:25:11,536 # You got to swim with the sharks in the sea # 344 00:25:11,613 --> 00:25:15,674 # You got to live with the crooked politician # 345 00:25:15,751 --> 00:25:18,845 # Trust those things that you can never see # 346 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:23,357 # Ay yeah, yeah Ay yeah, yeah # 347 00:25:23,425 --> 00:25:25,985 # Ay yeah, yeah Ay yeah, yeah # 348 00:25:26,061 --> 00:25:27,255 Agh! 349 00:25:35,937 --> 00:25:40,567 # It's a cruel, crazy beautiful world # 350 00:25:40,642 --> 00:25:45,739 # Every day you wake up I hope it's a blue, blue sky # 351 00:25:48,283 --> 00:25:52,811 # It's a cruel, crazy beautiful world # 352 00:25:52,888 --> 00:25:54,947 # One day when you wake up # 353 00:25:55,023 --> 00:25:58,117 # I will have to say good-bye # 354 00:26:00,462 --> 00:26:02,259 # Say good-bye # 355 00:26:07,703 --> 00:26:11,571 # It's your world so live in it, good-bye # 356 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,007 # It's your world so live in it... ## 357 00:26:31,093 --> 00:26:33,118 9:17! 358 00:26:35,564 --> 00:26:37,828 Time for a break. 359 00:27:02,924 --> 00:27:04,152 Hello. 360 00:27:06,394 --> 00:27:08,328 Anybody out there? 361 00:27:08,396 --> 00:27:10,364 When I accepted... 362 00:27:10,432 --> 00:27:14,960 the post of president, grand poobah of Target, 363 00:27:15,036 --> 00:27:18,870 realizing that I had brought... 364 00:27:18,940 --> 00:27:21,534 meaningfulness, peace, and happiness... 365 00:27:21,610 --> 00:27:23,805 into the lives of thousands of people. 366 00:27:23,879 --> 00:27:27,315 Jim Dodge, of Monroe, 367 00:27:27,382 --> 00:27:29,407 top moneymaker on the tour. 368 00:27:29,484 --> 00:27:31,714 His father's here today, Bud Dodge, 369 00:27:31,787 --> 00:27:33,755 and sister Penny, a sad, sad story, 370 00:27:33,822 --> 00:27:36,757 was just admitted to University Hospital. 371 00:27:36,825 --> 00:27:40,727 While trying to pop a zit, her head mysteriously exploded. 372 00:28:02,717 --> 00:28:04,651 [Phone Ringing] 373 00:28:04,719 --> 00:28:06,550 [Jim] Dad! Hi! 374 00:28:06,621 --> 00:28:08,612 Do you know what time it is? 375 00:28:08,690 --> 00:28:12,057 I'm starting to think about Christmas and gifts, 376 00:28:12,127 --> 00:28:15,927 because I'm in a big store and I'm getting gift ideas. 377 00:28:15,997 --> 00:28:18,864 - Hi. - Mom, hi! 378 00:28:18,934 --> 00:28:20,868 How's it going? 379 00:28:20,936 --> 00:28:22,904 I finished all my janitor stuff. 380 00:28:22,971 --> 00:28:25,462 Most of it. I've got to save some for later. 381 00:28:25,540 --> 00:28:29,943 - It's easy as hell. - Uh, honey, it's a little late. 382 00:28:30,011 --> 00:28:32,377 It is kind of late. 383 00:28:32,447 --> 00:28:34,972 Sleep tight. 384 00:28:35,050 --> 00:28:37,211 See you in the morning. 385 00:28:37,285 --> 00:28:39,981 - [Dial Tone] - Love you, too. 386 00:28:43,859 --> 00:28:46,726 Mr. James Dodge! 387 00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:45,151 He can't be happy as the night cleanup boy. 388 00:29:47,088 --> 00:29:49,488 Sweetheart, 389 00:29:49,557 --> 00:29:52,822 he wants us to call him a janitor. 390 00:29:54,829 --> 00:29:57,559 Maybe I should have spent less time harping... 391 00:29:57,631 --> 00:29:59,929 and more time helping. 392 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,458 Harpin' and helpin' him what? 393 00:30:03,537 --> 00:30:07,667 Harpin' on him to leave, and helpin' him become... 394 00:30:07,742 --> 00:30:11,508 the good, mature, productive person he could be. 395 00:31:40,801 --> 00:31:43,099 Are you all right? 396 00:31:44,438 --> 00:31:47,305 Yes, I'm fine, thanks. And you? 397 00:31:48,809 --> 00:31:50,333 What are you doing here? 398 00:31:52,112 --> 00:31:53,875 I work here. 399 00:31:53,948 --> 00:31:56,178 Have a good one, Officer Don. 400 00:31:56,250 --> 00:32:00,277 Okay, Carl. Let me know if you hear anything. 401 00:32:00,354 --> 00:32:02,720 You bet. 402 00:32:02,790 --> 00:32:05,884 Well, sir, she didn't leave on the bus. 403 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,123 Let's look for her someplace else. 404 00:32:09,196 --> 00:32:11,960 She wouldn't be dumb enough to thumb, would she? 405 00:32:12,032 --> 00:32:15,968 Does she have any friends she might have run off with? 406 00:32:16,904 --> 00:32:18,030 Boyfriends? 407 00:32:18,105 --> 00:32:22,007 Just get in the car so we can look for the girl. 408 00:32:22,076 --> 00:32:25,239 I'm tired, haven't had any coffee. 409 00:32:25,312 --> 00:32:28,110 My daughter, I don't know where the hell she is. 410 00:32:28,182 --> 00:32:30,548 And you're sounding like some goddamn preacher! 411 00:32:30,618 --> 00:32:32,552 Come on, get in the car! 412 00:32:34,154 --> 00:32:36,019 Prick. 413 00:32:40,194 --> 00:32:42,890 Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself? 414 00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:45,488 Oh, no. Are you kidding? 415 00:32:45,566 --> 00:32:48,160 No, I'm fine. I'm fine. 416 00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:50,430 Can I ask what you were doing? 417 00:32:50,504 --> 00:32:52,495 I was roller-skating. 418 00:32:52,573 --> 00:32:55,474 - I know, but why? - Why not? 419 00:32:55,542 --> 00:32:59,000 I got bored. One thing led to another... 420 00:32:59,079 --> 00:33:02,412 and I'm roller-skating in my shorts. 421 00:33:02,483 --> 00:33:05,281 Better question would be, "What are you doing here?" 422 00:33:05,352 --> 00:33:07,013 Shopping. 423 00:33:08,322 --> 00:33:10,290 We've been closed for five hours. 424 00:33:10,357 --> 00:33:12,655 Yeah. I fell asleep. 425 00:33:12,726 --> 00:33:15,490 - While shopping? - No, in the ladies' dressing room. 426 00:33:15,562 --> 00:33:19,225 That makes no sense. You're a high-profile young ingenue. 427 00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:23,396 I was debating whether or not to get arrested for shoplifting. 428 00:33:24,538 --> 00:33:27,666 Your father owns $10 million worth of real estate. 429 00:33:27,741 --> 00:33:31,177 - It's not my fault. - I didn't imply such. 430 00:33:31,245 --> 00:33:33,611 It seems funny that someone of your... 431 00:33:34,481 --> 00:33:37,450 - Wealth? - If you will. Would shoplift. 432 00:33:37,518 --> 00:33:40,351 I didn't do it. I chickened out. 433 00:33:41,422 --> 00:33:43,049 Would consider shoplifting. 434 00:33:44,124 --> 00:33:47,651 It's a long, self-indulgent, highly unromantic story... 435 00:33:47,728 --> 00:33:50,060 about an overbearing father, 436 00:33:50,130 --> 00:33:52,189 deceased mother and brother, 437 00:33:52,266 --> 00:33:56,066 and a completely confused girl who looks a little like me. 438 00:34:33,574 --> 00:34:36,737 I sure am glad you dropped by. 439 00:34:36,810 --> 00:34:40,177 I was getting tired of being with myself. 440 00:34:43,017 --> 00:34:46,976 I guess... I'm what you call a people person. 441 00:34:49,456 --> 00:34:52,050 - What are you cooking? - Hobo chicken. 442 00:34:52,126 --> 00:34:54,617 It's a glazed chicken in wine sauce... 443 00:34:54,695 --> 00:34:57,289 with vegetables and skin-on potatoes. 444 00:34:57,364 --> 00:35:00,356 Silverware, silverware. 445 00:35:02,870 --> 00:35:05,361 It's only 210 calories. 446 00:35:05,439 --> 00:35:09,375 I don't know if you're watching your figure, but I sure am. 447 00:35:09,443 --> 00:35:13,140 If you can grab a serving spoon, I think we'll be set. 448 00:35:19,119 --> 00:35:21,144 Keep your distance from these things. 449 00:35:21,221 --> 00:35:23,746 I think it's safe to keep five feet. 450 00:35:28,395 --> 00:35:30,761 I think they're about done. 451 00:35:32,699 --> 00:35:35,862 Dining room's right this way. 452 00:35:37,671 --> 00:35:39,605 Mmm! 453 00:35:42,176 --> 00:35:46,237 I think my father poured the cement for your pool. 454 00:35:47,281 --> 00:35:50,182 He's a cement contractor. Good man. 455 00:35:51,318 --> 00:35:52,876 Bud Dodge? 456 00:35:52,953 --> 00:35:55,854 My mother works at Hoenicker's over Christmas. 457 00:35:55,923 --> 00:35:57,857 My sister's a teller at the bank. 458 00:35:57,925 --> 00:36:00,359 My brother's in grade school. He's not employed. 459 00:36:00,427 --> 00:36:03,191 I used to work at the animal shelter, 460 00:36:03,263 --> 00:36:07,199 but I was terminated. Now I'm working here. 461 00:36:09,103 --> 00:36:10,730 Do you always talk this much? 462 00:36:13,574 --> 00:36:15,633 I guess I do. 463 00:36:15,709 --> 00:36:18,735 I like talking to people. 464 00:36:20,013 --> 00:36:23,642 - Maybe you should go into sales. - I've actually tried that. 465 00:36:30,624 --> 00:36:33,457 Some fresh ground pepper? 466 00:36:33,527 --> 00:36:34,994 Please. 467 00:36:37,431 --> 00:36:39,899 Some people don't like a lot of pepper. Say when. 468 00:36:39,967 --> 00:36:41,958 That's fine. 469 00:36:42,035 --> 00:36:43,969 I happen to really like it a lot. 470 00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:47,495 It enhances the natural flavor of the chicken. 471 00:36:51,145 --> 00:36:54,706 I hope you don't take this the wrong way. 472 00:36:54,781 --> 00:36:56,550 I've had dreams about you. 473 00:36:56,684 --> 00:36:59,244 You've had dreams about me? 474 00:37:00,688 --> 00:37:01,882 Not recently. 475 00:37:01,955 --> 00:37:04,116 I've had dreams about you in the past. 476 00:37:04,191 --> 00:37:07,058 I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, 477 00:37:07,127 --> 00:37:09,254 so don't get me wrong. 478 00:37:09,330 --> 00:37:12,493 - It's kid stuff. How 'bout you? - Do I dream? 479 00:37:14,668 --> 00:37:17,000 That's about all I do. 480 00:37:30,617 --> 00:37:34,519 [Roger] Raisin' a kid's hard work. You got any kids? 481 00:37:34,588 --> 00:37:36,647 No, sir. And from listening to you, 482 00:37:36,724 --> 00:37:39,158 and from observin' this, 483 00:37:39,226 --> 00:37:42,252 I'm kinda grateful Emily turned up infertile. 484 00:37:59,847 --> 00:38:02,680 Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store? 485 00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,684 I got plenty of time. 486 00:38:04,752 --> 00:38:08,153 - Big store. - Huge. 487 00:38:09,223 --> 00:38:10,622 Always smoke cigars? 488 00:38:12,226 --> 00:38:14,387 I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. 489 00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:16,395 It settles the stomach. 490 00:38:17,931 --> 00:38:19,421 You're the town liar, right? 491 00:38:24,238 --> 00:38:26,172 - What? - I'm sorry. 492 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:27,832 That really came out wrong. 493 00:38:29,576 --> 00:38:32,909 - How could it come out right? - That's what people call you. 494 00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:35,141 - I didn't mean to imply it's true. - People call me that? 495 00:38:35,215 --> 00:38:38,343 - I thought you knew. - That I was the town liar? 496 00:38:38,419 --> 00:38:40,785 - You didn't? - No. I'm not. 497 00:38:40,854 --> 00:38:43,755 - You have the wrong information. - I didn't mean to offend you. 498 00:38:44,725 --> 00:38:49,162 - Did you think that was a compliment? - No. And I apologize. 499 00:38:49,229 --> 00:38:53,131 - I can't repeat things like that. - Don't think about it. 500 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,328 As I said, you've got the wrong information. 501 00:38:56,403 --> 00:38:58,564 If people are calling me that, 502 00:38:58,639 --> 00:39:00,766 it's because they're small, petty and jealous. 503 00:39:00,841 --> 00:39:03,742 Small towns are notorious for that. 504 00:39:03,811 --> 00:39:05,972 - I'm sure there's a word for me. - Sure. 505 00:39:06,046 --> 00:39:08,640 - What do they call me? - A tease. 506 00:39:08,715 --> 00:39:10,945 Tease? 507 00:39:11,018 --> 00:39:14,317 Yeah, I can see that. 508 00:39:15,556 --> 00:39:18,286 Actually, I never teased. 509 00:39:18,358 --> 00:39:20,622 This is becoming amusing, 510 00:39:20,694 --> 00:39:24,460 - but who exactly calls me a liar? - Everybody. 511 00:39:24,531 --> 00:39:27,523 - Everybody. - No, not everybody. 512 00:39:27,601 --> 00:39:31,367 - There's some old people in town. - Right. 513 00:39:35,309 --> 00:39:38,642 - What do you think? - What do I think? 514 00:39:40,180 --> 00:39:42,478 Do you think I'm a liar? 515 00:39:42,549 --> 00:39:44,540 I don't know you well enough. 516 00:39:46,653 --> 00:39:50,680 You've known me for 17 years. We went to the same schools from kindergarten on. 517 00:39:50,757 --> 00:39:53,555 I knew of you, but I didn't know you personally. 518 00:39:54,761 --> 00:39:56,854 That's always bothered me. 519 00:39:56,930 --> 00:40:00,559 I mean that old... in-out, us-them thing. 520 00:40:00,634 --> 00:40:04,195 - That's the way it's been. - It's always bothered me. 521 00:40:04,271 --> 00:40:08,799 - It's water over the dam now. - But it's your dam and my water. 522 00:40:08,876 --> 00:40:10,844 I got crapped on a lot of years. 523 00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:12,902 I meant that it's in the past. 524 00:40:12,980 --> 00:40:15,949 The present is a result of the past. 525 00:40:16,016 --> 00:40:17,950 I look at my high school yearbook... 526 00:40:18,018 --> 00:40:21,283 and I don't see four fabulous years. 527 00:40:21,355 --> 00:40:23,516 I'm reminded of what it feels like... 528 00:40:23,590 --> 00:40:26,081 to have my underwear yanked up my ass... 529 00:40:26,159 --> 00:40:28,093 by some big football player. 530 00:40:28,161 --> 00:40:30,493 And where are those guys now? 531 00:40:32,199 --> 00:40:36,829 They're not working nights at Target. I'll tell you that. 532 00:40:36,904 --> 00:40:39,532 Yeah, You know... 533 00:40:39,606 --> 00:40:41,574 I look at my yearbook... 534 00:40:41,642 --> 00:40:44,975 and I see four fabulous years... 535 00:40:46,146 --> 00:40:48,080 that are gonna be the highlight of my life. 536 00:40:48,148 --> 00:40:50,082 Here's what it's like. 537 00:40:50,150 --> 00:40:52,675 First you feel a hand going down your pants... 538 00:40:52,753 --> 00:40:55,950 and tighten around the elastic waistband. 539 00:40:56,023 --> 00:40:57,047 Highlight. 540 00:40:57,124 --> 00:41:00,127 - Sometimes I'd actually see stars. - It's not going to get better. 541 00:41:00,127 --> 00:41:00,616 - Sometimes I'd actually see stars. - It's not going to get better. 542 00:41:00,694 --> 00:41:02,662 If I was particularly unlucky, 543 00:41:02,729 --> 00:41:07,325 my shorts would rip completely free and I'd get this really drastic... 544 00:41:07,401 --> 00:41:09,369 Do you hear me? 545 00:41:11,305 --> 00:41:12,329 Yeah. 546 00:41:15,676 --> 00:41:18,668 I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank. 547 00:41:19,413 --> 00:41:21,643 That prank was a motif in my life. 548 00:41:26,286 --> 00:41:29,483 You know, I'm locked in this store here... 549 00:41:29,556 --> 00:41:32,753 because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt... 550 00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:35,158 so I could get arrested and embarrass my father... 551 00:41:35,228 --> 00:41:38,129 in this stupid, desperate, childish, 552 00:41:38,198 --> 00:41:40,189 pathetic attempt to leave home. 553 00:41:41,735 --> 00:41:43,669 You have your underwear yanked up your ass. 554 00:41:43,737 --> 00:41:46,831 I have my entire life yanked up my ass! 555 00:41:47,908 --> 00:41:50,877 You were speaking figuratively. I was speaking literally. 556 00:41:50,944 --> 00:41:54,471 And you're happy. You're happy. 557 00:41:54,548 --> 00:41:55,845 I'm not happy. 558 00:41:55,916 --> 00:41:59,511 I'm working nights. Everybody thinks I'm a liar. 559 00:41:59,586 --> 00:42:01,918 My whole family's laughing at me. 560 00:42:01,989 --> 00:42:04,822 Reverend Harwell gave me the finger last week. 561 00:42:04,891 --> 00:42:07,052 At least you have some control over your life. 562 00:42:07,127 --> 00:42:09,561 - So do you. - My father controls my life. 563 00:42:09,630 --> 00:42:13,566 You're over 18. You can tell him to drop dead. 564 00:42:13,634 --> 00:42:17,001 - So can you. - I don't want to. 565 00:42:17,070 --> 00:42:19,698 I like living at home. 566 00:42:19,773 --> 00:42:23,334 - No, you don't. - Am I a garden snail? 567 00:42:24,845 --> 00:42:26,779 An involuntary muscle in a janitor suit? 568 00:42:26,847 --> 00:42:28,940 I know what I want to do. 569 00:42:29,016 --> 00:42:30,984 What could you possibly like... 570 00:42:31,051 --> 00:42:33,019 about living at home at your age? 571 00:42:33,086 --> 00:42:36,988 The meals are great. I mean, there's cable. 572 00:42:39,493 --> 00:42:42,326 The accommodations are excellent, five-star. 573 00:42:42,396 --> 00:42:44,330 What do you care if I'm living at home or not? 574 00:42:45,799 --> 00:42:48,393 Hey, I didn't come here to irritate you. 575 00:42:48,468 --> 00:42:51,062 Well, you're beginning to. 576 00:42:52,939 --> 00:42:55,840 Great. That's really great. 577 00:42:55,909 --> 00:42:58,945 I gotta stop saying those kinds of things. 578 00:42:59,079 --> 00:43:02,276 Those freakin' kids! I knew I couldn't trust 'em. 579 00:43:02,348 --> 00:43:05,215 Town liar. That's a nice rep. 580 00:43:05,285 --> 00:43:07,412 I bet it was Gregory, that little weasel. 581 00:43:07,487 --> 00:43:10,650 Top secret, and they still shoot off their mouths! 582 00:43:10,724 --> 00:43:12,851 If I'd really been a French spy, 583 00:43:12,926 --> 00:43:15,360 those little tots would've gotten me killed! 584 00:43:15,428 --> 00:43:18,693 Piano wire wrapped around my neck. My testicles shoved down my throat. 585 00:43:18,765 --> 00:43:21,757 A piece of dynamite stuck up my ass! 586 00:43:26,806 --> 00:43:29,240 She's so beautiful. 587 00:43:30,643 --> 00:43:33,009 And I'm the town liar. 588 00:43:36,483 --> 00:43:40,351 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 589 00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:43,355 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 590 00:43:44,758 --> 00:43:48,592 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 591 00:43:48,661 --> 00:43:52,097 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 592 00:43:52,165 --> 00:43:56,761 # Shiny boat through the open doorway # 593 00:43:59,739 --> 00:44:04,540 # Fell in love on a summer day # 594 00:44:07,180 --> 00:44:11,674 # You're only young once but that's all right # 595 00:44:14,354 --> 00:44:20,384 # Because it's just so good to be alive # 596 00:44:22,362 --> 00:44:25,763 # Take away your troubles Take them out the door # 597 00:44:25,832 --> 00:44:31,634 # Ohh, nothing on my mind except my new love # 598 00:44:34,674 --> 00:44:39,202 # Nothing on my mind except my new love # 599 00:44:41,948 --> 00:44:44,940 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 600 00:44:45,018 --> 00:44:49,250 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la ## 601 00:44:49,322 --> 00:44:51,916 [Music Stops] 602 00:45:15,748 --> 00:45:19,707 [P.A. System] Jim, there's no reason to lie right now. 603 00:45:19,786 --> 00:45:22,721 There's no one to impress. 604 00:45:22,789 --> 00:45:26,281 I'm not impressed by a man telling me he likes living at home. 605 00:45:26,359 --> 00:45:29,726 Excuse me, I'm not lying, 606 00:45:29,796 --> 00:45:31,730 and I'm not trying to impress you. 607 00:45:31,798 --> 00:45:33,925 So if you'll excuse me, 608 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,992 I have to clean dead flies out of the lighting fixtures. 609 00:45:37,070 --> 00:45:39,937 Okay, my error. I apologize. 610 00:45:40,006 --> 00:45:43,498 It's just that I can't imagine a man... 611 00:45:43,576 --> 00:45:47,569 giving up his independence, his right to mate, 612 00:45:47,647 --> 00:45:49,672 to have a family, 613 00:45:49,749 --> 00:45:54,311 to build a life for himself, for good cooking. 614 00:45:54,387 --> 00:45:55,718 Hold on. 615 00:45:55,788 --> 00:45:58,518 I have not given up my right to mate. 616 00:45:58,591 --> 00:46:01,025 I have the right to mate... 617 00:46:01,094 --> 00:46:04,063 anytime I feel like mating. 618 00:46:04,130 --> 00:46:06,121 You go out with someone. 619 00:46:06,199 --> 00:46:10,101 You bring her home. You introduce her to... 620 00:46:10,169 --> 00:46:13,866 Mom, Dad, Sis, Billy, 621 00:46:13,940 --> 00:46:15,498 Wolfie the dog. 622 00:46:15,575 --> 00:46:19,978 Cocktails in the rumpus room, and then do it on the bunk bed? 623 00:46:22,048 --> 00:46:24,278 Let's analyze that remark. 624 00:46:24,350 --> 00:46:25,681 I don't have a dog, 625 00:46:25,752 --> 00:46:28,016 my brother's not named Billy, 626 00:46:28,087 --> 00:46:30,555 and I don't even have a rumpus room. 627 00:46:30,623 --> 00:46:32,648 You know what I mean. 628 00:46:37,830 --> 00:46:41,027 Yeah, I know what you mean. 629 00:46:41,100 --> 00:46:44,263 Spit on me, make me feel lousy. 630 00:46:49,375 --> 00:46:50,842 Jim? 631 00:46:52,412 --> 00:46:54,846 You said something that wasn't true. 632 00:46:56,015 --> 00:46:57,676 No. 633 00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:03,689 No, I said that I can have sex when I want to, and I do. 634 00:47:04,691 --> 00:47:06,716 However, I was looking forward... 635 00:47:06,793 --> 00:47:09,887 to a nice, quiet evening of janitoring. 636 00:47:09,963 --> 00:47:13,330 I don't think you see what I'm getting at. 637 00:47:13,399 --> 00:47:15,333 I see what you're getting at. 638 00:47:15,401 --> 00:47:18,734 I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex and an appetite for home cooking. 639 00:47:18,805 --> 00:47:21,000 Don't forget, you're the indecisive shoplifter. 640 00:47:21,074 --> 00:47:22,598 Yes! Exactly. 641 00:47:22,675 --> 00:47:25,610 I would do anything to be in your shoes. 642 00:47:25,678 --> 00:47:28,078 These are Darnell's shoes. 643 00:47:28,147 --> 00:47:31,844 You have freedom, and you're not using it. 644 00:47:31,918 --> 00:47:33,943 It makes me sad. 645 00:47:34,020 --> 00:47:37,717 You have the wealth of the entire town, and you're trying to get arrested. 646 00:47:37,790 --> 00:47:41,783 - That makes me sad. - That makes me sad, too. 647 00:47:41,861 --> 00:47:45,126 - That's pretty stupid. - It's very stupid. 648 00:47:45,198 --> 00:47:47,132 Are you serious? 649 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,600 I mean, you haven't been drinking? 650 00:47:49,669 --> 00:47:51,967 This isn't the bottle talking? 651 00:47:52,038 --> 00:47:54,097 No. 652 00:47:54,173 --> 00:47:57,438 Then why don't you just talk to the guy? 653 00:47:59,212 --> 00:48:02,079 For the same reason that you can't leave home, 654 00:48:02,148 --> 00:48:05,606 I can't tell my father to go to hell. 655 00:48:05,685 --> 00:48:07,619 Why not? 656 00:48:09,822 --> 00:48:13,553 Because I don't want to be alone. 657 00:48:40,486 --> 00:48:43,455 Mr. McClellan? 658 00:48:43,523 --> 00:48:47,721 You ever have any family problems, you and your daughter? 659 00:48:47,794 --> 00:48:51,230 What the hell do you think this is? 660 00:48:51,297 --> 00:48:53,231 You got a point. 661 00:48:58,438 --> 00:49:01,202 Would you go with me somewhere? 662 00:49:03,176 --> 00:49:05,406 - Where? - Florida? 663 00:49:05,478 --> 00:49:08,038 Wyoming? Spain? 664 00:49:08,114 --> 00:49:10,810 It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere. 665 00:49:11,784 --> 00:49:13,046 I'd love to. 666 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,611 I just can't afford to be... 667 00:49:16,689 --> 00:49:19,317 capricious and carefree like yourself. 668 00:49:19,392 --> 00:49:22,919 I've gotta set my sights on something, and really go for it. 669 00:49:23,596 --> 00:49:26,793 - Night janitor? - It's a beginning. 670 00:49:26,866 --> 00:49:29,266 - I-I'm lookin' at... - It's an end. 671 00:49:32,205 --> 00:49:34,696 Maybe if you had a destination in mind, 672 00:49:34,774 --> 00:49:37,504 that would make all the difference in the world. 673 00:49:37,577 --> 00:49:40,808 - Why? - Well, uh, 674 00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:44,816 I'm just not built to aimlessly roam the world. 675 00:49:44,884 --> 00:49:47,250 I'm too conservative for that. 676 00:49:48,654 --> 00:49:52,647 Well, I was thinking about Los Angeles. 677 00:49:52,725 --> 00:49:55,819 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 678 00:49:55,895 --> 00:49:59,888 - What for? - Live, work. 679 00:49:59,966 --> 00:50:02,457 - At what? - Whatever. 680 00:50:02,535 --> 00:50:05,629 And what about your father? 681 00:50:05,705 --> 00:50:07,969 When I don't die, 682 00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:11,100 he'll realize I can make it on my own. 683 00:50:11,177 --> 00:50:14,847 If I do, he'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can't. 684 00:50:14,981 --> 00:50:18,041 If he brings me back, or if I go back on my own, 685 00:50:18,117 --> 00:50:20,551 he's just gonna beat the shit out of me. 686 00:50:20,620 --> 00:50:23,919 - So it doesn't make a difference. - Literally? 687 00:50:26,792 --> 00:50:28,259 Yeah. 688 00:50:29,795 --> 00:50:33,128 - Sad. - Yeah, it's sad. 689 00:50:33,199 --> 00:50:36,566 Until he throws you across the room, it's sad. 690 00:50:36,636 --> 00:50:39,730 I'm afraid to live with him, and I'm afraid to live without... 691 00:50:39,805 --> 00:50:44,139 You didn't come to work to hear this stuff. I'm really sorry. 692 00:50:44,210 --> 00:50:47,236 I'm gonna clean this up. 693 00:50:53,886 --> 00:50:55,877 I'm just surprised. 694 00:50:55,955 --> 00:50:58,753 I thought everything was okay, you know. 695 00:50:58,824 --> 00:51:01,759 I figured you got a nice car, a nice house, some money. 696 00:51:01,827 --> 00:51:06,059 - Everything's okay. - It should be, but it's not. 697 00:51:06,132 --> 00:51:08,259 It's twisted and it's distorted, 698 00:51:08,334 --> 00:51:12,236 and it can't be changed and it cannot be saved. 699 00:51:18,611 --> 00:51:19,873 I'll go with you. 700 00:51:24,684 --> 00:51:26,652 Really? 701 00:51:27,887 --> 00:51:28,854 Yeah. 702 00:51:30,623 --> 00:51:32,557 We have to get a car. 703 00:51:33,959 --> 00:51:35,893 Let's get through the night, first. 704 00:51:35,961 --> 00:51:38,088 - I have money. - How much? 705 00:51:38,164 --> 00:51:40,189 Fifty-two thousand dollars. 706 00:51:42,668 --> 00:51:43,760 On you? 707 00:51:45,838 --> 00:51:47,829 In my purse. 708 00:51:59,652 --> 00:52:03,349 Fifty-two thousand dollars. Wow. 709 00:52:03,422 --> 00:52:06,619 I've never seen so much money in my life. 710 00:52:06,692 --> 00:52:09,126 This is more than my house cost. 711 00:52:09,495 --> 00:52:13,329 Jim, now that I'm spending the night, 712 00:52:13,399 --> 00:52:15,367 how can I pay you back... 713 00:52:15,434 --> 00:52:17,834 for being so cold to you in high school? 714 00:52:20,439 --> 00:52:22,839 Do you need an answer right away? 715 00:52:22,908 --> 00:52:26,844 No. Sometime before the sun comes up. 716 00:52:30,483 --> 00:52:32,815 Well, uh, 717 00:52:32,885 --> 00:52:35,353 you're probably not going to remember this, 718 00:52:35,421 --> 00:52:37,355 but, uh, 719 00:52:37,423 --> 00:52:40,085 there was a homecoming dance our sophomore year. 720 00:52:40,159 --> 00:52:43,788 - Mm-hmm. - Do you remember Mrs. Noble? 721 00:52:43,863 --> 00:52:48,562 Large, hairy gym teacher with suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge? 722 00:52:48,634 --> 00:52:50,499 I had her for two years. 723 00:52:50,569 --> 00:52:52,503 She made everybody switch partners... 724 00:52:52,571 --> 00:52:54,698 because the fat girls were dancing together, 725 00:52:54,774 --> 00:52:56,935 and the doinks, myself included, were against the wall blowing spit bubbles. 726 00:52:57,009 --> 00:52:58,374 Right. 727 00:52:58,444 --> 00:53:01,902 Well, for three-quarters... 728 00:53:01,981 --> 00:53:05,007 of one verse of a slow song, 729 00:53:05,084 --> 00:53:07,279 we danced together. 730 00:53:08,654 --> 00:53:10,144 You reeked of Stri-Dex. 731 00:53:11,157 --> 00:53:13,489 Oh, no, that was Larry Fry. 732 00:53:13,559 --> 00:53:15,925 I'm sorry. 733 00:53:15,995 --> 00:53:18,122 I don't remember. 734 00:53:19,732 --> 00:53:23,463 - You got your hair caught in my braces. - I don't remember. 735 00:53:23,536 --> 00:53:26,664 Well, it's not important. 736 00:53:28,340 --> 00:53:32,071 I had... Well, I had just always... 737 00:53:32,144 --> 00:53:34,738 dreamed of finishing that dance. 738 00:53:37,616 --> 00:53:38,708 Okay. 739 00:53:42,054 --> 00:53:44,648 Don't feel you have to answer right away. 740 00:53:44,723 --> 00:53:48,716 It's just a small portion of my life that's incomplete. 741 00:53:48,794 --> 00:53:51,388 I thought you were gonna say something different. 742 00:53:57,703 --> 00:53:59,637 Well, 743 00:54:00,739 --> 00:54:02,969 first things first. 744 00:54:19,024 --> 00:54:22,289 # When things go wrong # 745 00:54:24,063 --> 00:54:27,055 # As they sometimes will # 746 00:54:27,132 --> 00:54:32,764 # When the road you're trodding seems all uphill # 747 00:54:35,140 --> 00:54:39,236 # When the funds are low # 748 00:54:40,312 --> 00:54:43,179 # And the debts are high # 749 00:54:43,249 --> 00:54:49,415 # And you wanna smile but you have to sigh # 750 00:54:52,057 --> 00:54:58,963 # When care is pressing you down a bit # 751 00:54:59,031 --> 00:55:04,867 # Rest if you must # 752 00:55:05,905 --> 00:55:08,931 # But don't you quit # 753 00:55:10,509 --> 00:55:13,740 # Oh no # 754 00:55:13,812 --> 00:55:17,509 # Don't you quit # 755 00:55:18,784 --> 00:55:21,480 # Oh no # 756 00:55:36,368 --> 00:55:40,202 # But you never can tell # 757 00:55:40,272 --> 00:55:44,572 # How close you are # 758 00:55:44,643 --> 00:55:51,014 # It may be near when it seems so far # 759 00:55:51,083 --> 00:55:53,051 # Ooo ooo ## 760 00:56:00,426 --> 00:56:03,452 [Giggling] 761 00:56:05,898 --> 00:56:08,526 - [Laughing] - You're ticklish there? 762 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,068 [Laughing] 763 00:56:28,487 --> 00:56:30,250 Aaah! 764 00:56:32,958 --> 00:56:34,823 Ow. 765 00:56:42,001 --> 00:56:44,401 [Squeaking] 766 00:57:05,924 --> 00:57:07,858 Officer Don! 767 00:57:07,926 --> 00:57:12,886 You scared the crap out of me. I thought it was the custodian. 768 00:57:12,965 --> 00:57:14,830 What are you doing? 769 00:57:14,900 --> 00:57:17,303 I work here now. 770 00:57:19,238 --> 00:57:20,705 [Squeaking] 771 00:57:22,008 --> 00:57:23,475 You wanna let me in? 772 00:57:23,543 --> 00:57:27,479 I'd love to. I don't have the keys. 773 00:57:27,547 --> 00:57:29,481 I'm locked in 'til 7 a.m. 774 00:57:29,549 --> 00:57:33,610 - What's going on? - Have you seen Josie McClellan? 775 00:57:34,854 --> 00:57:36,219 Of course. 776 00:57:36,289 --> 00:57:41,488 Uh, dark hair, green eyes, beautiful. 777 00:57:41,561 --> 00:57:42,960 Oh, yeah. Of course. 778 00:57:43,029 --> 00:57:46,521 - You seen her recently? - Oh! 779 00:57:46,599 --> 00:57:49,534 Ah... I just saw her yesterday. 780 00:57:49,602 --> 00:57:51,866 We had a cup of java together. 781 00:57:51,938 --> 00:57:53,530 She come into the store? 782 00:57:53,606 --> 00:57:56,598 I don't know. I only work nights. 783 00:57:56,676 --> 00:58:00,737 - Why? - Well... she's missing. 784 00:58:00,813 --> 00:58:05,307 I was looking this side of town for her and I come past. 785 00:58:05,384 --> 00:58:08,182 I seen that the outside sign's on. 786 00:58:08,254 --> 00:58:12,554 - The outside sign's never on. - Oh, yeah. 787 00:58:12,625 --> 00:58:17,062 Did you try the library? Maybe she fell asleep reading. 788 00:58:18,431 --> 00:58:19,489 No. 789 00:58:19,565 --> 00:58:21,533 She's probably screwing somebody... 790 00:58:21,601 --> 00:58:24,069 the old man don't approve of. 791 00:58:29,308 --> 00:58:35,008 Would you know if the custodian comes by to check up on people? 792 00:58:35,081 --> 00:58:38,175 I wouldn't think he'd do that, Jimmy. 793 00:58:38,251 --> 00:58:40,412 I feel pretty good now. 794 00:58:49,896 --> 00:58:51,887 I'm sorry, sir. 795 00:58:51,964 --> 00:58:54,728 I had to practice a little therapy. 796 00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,030 Boy's in his own world. 797 00:59:04,110 --> 00:59:05,304 # Can't believe you've left me # 798 00:59:05,378 --> 00:59:07,175 # So know that you've upset me # 799 00:59:07,246 --> 00:59:09,009 # You just want to forget me # 800 00:59:09,081 --> 00:59:10,844 # Why don't you come and get me # 801 00:59:10,917 --> 00:59:12,680 # And, boy I really miss you # 802 00:59:12,752 --> 00:59:14,515 # And all I wanna do is kiss you # 803 00:59:14,587 --> 00:59:16,282 # I've used up all my tissues # 804 00:59:16,355 --> 00:59:18,152 # 'Cause it's more serious some issues # 805 00:59:18,224 --> 00:59:20,089 # I don't even know the reason # 806 00:59:20,159 --> 00:59:21,751 # You were playin' and you were teasin' # 807 00:59:21,827 --> 00:59:23,590 # Didn't tell me you were leavin' # 808 00:59:23,663 --> 00:59:25,927 # Those good looks are deceivin' # 809 00:59:25,998 --> 00:59:29,490 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 810 00:59:29,569 --> 00:59:31,332 # You drive me crazy # 811 00:59:31,404 --> 00:59:33,531 # Somebody tell me where he's gone # 812 00:59:33,606 --> 00:59:37,007 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 813 00:59:37,076 --> 00:59:39,977 # You drive me crazy # 814 00:59:40,046 --> 00:59:41,775 # You peep in through the window # 815 00:59:41,847 --> 00:59:43,781 # This is too much for me to handle # 816 00:59:43,849 --> 00:59:47,250 # Already caused a scandal a disturbance like a vandal # 817 00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:49,185 # I've lost track of all time # 818 00:59:49,255 --> 00:59:51,348 # 'Cause you're always on my mind # 819 00:59:51,424 --> 00:59:53,756 # You're just that type of guy that'll make me cry # 820 00:59:53,826 --> 00:59:56,317 # Oh why, oh why, oh why Oh why has he disappeared # 821 00:59:56,395 --> 00:59:58,056 # This feeling is really weird # 822 00:59:58,130 --> 01:00:02,567 # You're reckless and you're dear Can you feel when I drop these tears # 823 01:00:02,635 --> 01:00:05,570 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 824 01:00:05,638 --> 01:00:08,004 # You drive me crazy # 825 01:00:08,074 --> 01:00:09,871 # Somebody tell me where he's gone # 826 01:00:09,942 --> 01:00:13,241 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 827 01:00:13,312 --> 01:00:15,644 # You drive me crazy # 828 01:00:38,971 --> 01:00:42,771 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun ## 829 01:00:48,414 --> 01:00:50,382 Aaah! 830 01:01:29,455 --> 01:01:31,582 Why don't we get underneath the bench? 831 01:01:34,894 --> 01:01:37,488 Do you want to get on top? 832 01:01:44,704 --> 01:01:46,569 You check the office. I'll scope the dressing rooms. 833 01:01:46,639 --> 01:01:48,266 Right. 834 01:01:56,882 --> 01:01:59,544 You're on top. 835 01:02:00,653 --> 01:02:03,178 - Did you want to be on top? - Oh, no. 836 01:02:03,255 --> 01:02:05,951 I'm fine where I am. 837 01:02:06,025 --> 01:02:07,959 Sure. 838 01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,020 [Whispering] Ow, ow, ow. 839 01:02:46,265 --> 01:02:49,632 I think he went to the back. 840 01:03:00,279 --> 01:03:02,270 - [Gasp] - Evening. 841 01:03:06,085 --> 01:03:08,076 Nice. 842 01:03:08,154 --> 01:03:10,088 Excellent. 843 01:03:10,156 --> 01:03:14,559 Hey, you got a tattoo? 844 01:03:15,594 --> 01:03:16,618 No, sir. 845 01:03:16,695 --> 01:03:20,187 - Not you, asshole! - I'm a missing person. 846 01:03:20,266 --> 01:03:22,894 The whole town is looking for me. 847 01:03:22,968 --> 01:03:25,459 - You hidin' out? - Yes. 848 01:03:25,538 --> 01:03:28,598 I'd appreciate it if you'd let us sit up. 849 01:03:28,674 --> 01:03:32,701 - What about the tattoo? - I don't have one. 850 01:03:32,778 --> 01:03:35,975 - You owe me a buck. - Actually, it's up to two. 851 01:03:36,048 --> 01:03:38,573 I borrowed that one off you at Burger King. 852 01:03:38,651 --> 01:03:40,846 Excuse me! 853 01:03:41,987 --> 01:03:44,148 Are you planning to shoot us in the back of the head? 854 01:03:44,223 --> 01:03:47,886 We haven't decided yet, have we? 855 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:50,053 Who are you? 856 01:03:50,129 --> 01:03:53,121 Ah... you don't want to know. 857 01:03:53,199 --> 01:03:55,565 Wouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know! 858 01:03:55,634 --> 01:03:59,365 - He's a little crazy. He's my brother. - That's not true. 859 01:03:59,438 --> 01:04:01,531 She doesn't even know me. 860 01:04:01,607 --> 01:04:04,701 - Somebody better start talking straight here. - That's the truth. 861 01:04:04,777 --> 01:04:06,836 Okay. 862 01:04:07,746 --> 01:04:09,805 You want to know? 863 01:04:11,383 --> 01:04:12,350 Mm-hmm. 864 01:04:12,418 --> 01:04:15,319 Okay, good. But... 865 01:04:16,755 --> 01:04:17,881 come on over here. 866 01:04:19,291 --> 01:04:22,060 - What? - Come on over. 867 01:04:22,194 --> 01:04:23,661 Come on over here! 868 01:04:23,728 --> 01:04:25,696 Over here. 869 01:04:42,147 --> 01:04:44,081 Come on down here. 870 01:04:46,852 --> 01:04:48,786 That's right. Down here! 871 01:04:51,423 --> 01:04:53,220 Okay. 872 01:04:54,292 --> 01:04:57,455 You dumb sons of bitches! 873 01:04:57,529 --> 01:05:00,726 Do you realize that you have just walked... 874 01:05:00,799 --> 01:05:04,257 straight into a $60-million drug transaction? 875 01:05:07,272 --> 01:05:11,709 You're running this multi-zillion-dollar drug transaction by yourself? 876 01:05:11,776 --> 01:05:15,940 - Little Target boy? - No. 877 01:05:16,014 --> 01:05:18,482 No, I'm not doing it by myself. 878 01:05:18,550 --> 01:05:20,609 Oh, no, no. 879 01:05:20,685 --> 01:05:23,620 As a matter of fact, 880 01:05:23,688 --> 01:05:26,122 in about 10 minutes... 881 01:05:26,191 --> 01:05:28,887 this place is gonna be alive with the meanest, 882 01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:33,329 ugliest, most impatient animals you guys have ever seen. 883 01:05:33,398 --> 01:05:36,731 I'll give you five minutes to take... 884 01:05:36,801 --> 01:05:39,031 whatever you want in the whole store. 885 01:05:39,104 --> 01:05:41,504 I won't tell. Take your guns and go. 886 01:05:42,874 --> 01:05:44,239 Okay, then, who's the girl? 887 01:05:46,578 --> 01:05:50,207 - I'm his hostage. - Yes. Yes. Yes. 888 01:05:50,282 --> 01:05:53,274 Is that true? Hmm? 889 01:05:53,351 --> 01:05:56,218 Yes! Yes, it's true. 890 01:05:56,288 --> 01:05:58,279 And, um... 891 01:06:01,159 --> 01:06:05,255 if the deal doesn't go down, she becomes pig feed. 892 01:06:05,330 --> 01:06:06,456 Bullshit. 893 01:06:06,531 --> 01:06:08,692 Oh, really? 894 01:06:11,503 --> 01:06:14,631 - Well, blow her away. - That's bullshit! 895 01:06:16,141 --> 01:06:18,632 Okay. 896 01:06:18,710 --> 01:06:22,737 Then give me your guns and I'll do it for you. 897 01:06:22,814 --> 01:06:24,543 It's bullshit, right? 898 01:06:25,450 --> 01:06:27,475 We'll see. 899 01:06:30,255 --> 01:06:31,347 Roll over. 900 01:06:31,423 --> 01:06:33,357 - You heard him. - What? 901 01:06:33,425 --> 01:06:35,484 Roll over! You too, honey. 902 01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:37,858 You heard me. Roll over. Do it! 903 01:06:37,929 --> 01:06:40,762 Come on, come on! Roll! That's it. 904 01:06:40,832 --> 01:06:44,359 - Very good. - Mmm! Yeah. 905 01:06:44,436 --> 01:06:47,837 Um... give me the guns! 906 01:06:48,807 --> 01:06:51,071 No way, man. Uh-uh. 907 01:06:51,142 --> 01:06:52,370 Fine. 908 01:06:52,444 --> 01:06:56,346 You do it. I don't need her anymore. 909 01:06:56,414 --> 01:06:59,349 - I only needed her to get through customs. - I don't like this. 910 01:06:59,417 --> 01:07:01,442 This sucks. It's not worth it. 911 01:07:01,519 --> 01:07:05,512 - We don't have time. Do it! - All right. 912 01:07:07,993 --> 01:07:09,756 It's nothing personal. 913 01:07:09,894 --> 01:07:12,488 - Jim! - Too late. They're here! 914 01:07:12,564 --> 01:07:14,657 It's too late. They're here. 915 01:07:14,733 --> 01:07:18,066 - Men, hold your fire. - [Radio Chatter] 916 01:07:18,136 --> 01:07:21,572 Ned, Tommy, hold your fire. 917 01:07:21,639 --> 01:07:24,802 There are infrared scopes trained on your heads. 918 01:07:24,876 --> 01:07:28,903 - We didn't want this! - It's the girl you want, not us! 919 01:07:28,980 --> 01:07:32,006 Ned, we got a WD-40. That's right, a full-scale PMS. 920 01:07:32,083 --> 01:07:34,517 Okay, everybody just relax! 921 01:07:34,586 --> 01:07:38,022 Everybody, just relax! The place is gonna blow. 922 01:07:38,089 --> 01:07:41,320 Just relax. Now, put down your guns. 923 01:07:41,393 --> 01:07:44,521 They're putting down the guns. Are you putting them down? 924 01:07:44,596 --> 01:07:47,429 Get down 'cause lives are at stake. 925 01:07:47,499 --> 01:07:50,866 Let go. Now get back. 926 01:07:50,935 --> 01:07:54,336 Get back. Spread 'em. Spread the legs. Put down the dogs. 927 01:07:54,406 --> 01:07:56,636 Okay, put the dogs down. 928 01:07:56,708 --> 01:07:58,300 Both of 'em! 929 01:07:58,376 --> 01:08:00,867 Put the dogs down! Down! 930 01:08:00,945 --> 01:08:05,041 - That was great! - I got a surprise for you guys. 931 01:08:05,116 --> 01:08:08,381 [Gil] We have a bit of a surprise for you. 932 01:08:09,788 --> 01:08:11,085 Them guns aren't loaded. 933 01:08:22,067 --> 01:08:25,662 I got an idea. How about a truce? 934 01:08:25,737 --> 01:08:28,706 I'm full of shit. You're full of shit. 935 01:08:28,773 --> 01:08:31,207 Everybody at one time is full of shit. 936 01:08:31,276 --> 01:08:34,871 I'll throw on some corn dogs and we'll get to know each other. 937 01:08:34,946 --> 01:08:37,608 I'd like to know what goes on inside your heads. 938 01:08:37,682 --> 01:08:40,515 - Okay, you had the big one... - No. 939 01:08:40,585 --> 01:08:44,419 Sorry. I could've sworn you had the big one. 940 01:08:44,489 --> 01:08:45,979 Ha! 941 01:08:46,925 --> 01:08:48,916 I lied. 942 01:08:53,431 --> 01:08:56,696 These are the men that killed that guy in Saltburg. 943 01:08:56,768 --> 01:09:00,204 I'm fairly sure that we're gonna die. 944 01:09:00,271 --> 01:09:03,206 I'm disappointed we're not going to California together. 945 01:09:03,274 --> 01:09:06,141 We're not dead yet. 946 01:09:06,211 --> 01:09:09,009 Pretty darn close. 947 01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,708 If I can get them to take me with them, 948 01:09:11,783 --> 01:09:14,650 maybe I can get away and come back for you. 949 01:09:14,719 --> 01:09:18,177 We need a car and they obviously have one. 950 01:09:18,256 --> 01:09:20,156 Just... 951 01:09:20,225 --> 01:09:22,693 - go along with whatever I do. - Okay. 952 01:09:34,839 --> 01:09:37,069 So, what's the word on you two? 953 01:09:37,142 --> 01:09:40,873 Are you married? Obviously... 954 01:09:40,945 --> 01:09:44,005 you're hack crooks if you can't pull off a discount store job. 955 01:09:46,417 --> 01:09:48,977 What were you planning to steal? Hair spray? 956 01:09:49,053 --> 01:09:51,180 [Chuckle] 957 01:09:53,324 --> 01:09:54,313 Sorry. 958 01:09:58,530 --> 01:09:59,827 Lady, you got a job? 959 01:10:01,432 --> 01:10:03,093 No. 960 01:10:03,168 --> 01:10:04,999 Then don't knock ours. 961 01:10:05,870 --> 01:10:08,930 Crime isn't a job. It's a sickness. 962 01:10:12,844 --> 01:10:16,610 Whoops. Anyone have some change? 963 01:10:18,316 --> 01:10:20,807 [Coins Spilling] 964 01:10:28,059 --> 01:10:30,892 You look like a lady in need of a quarter. 965 01:10:30,962 --> 01:10:33,556 I might need more than just a quarter. 966 01:10:36,501 --> 01:10:38,935 - You know... - No. 967 01:10:39,003 --> 01:10:40,994 You and I could make a lot of money. 968 01:10:41,072 --> 01:10:43,836 Honey, me and Nestor are partners. 969 01:10:43,908 --> 01:10:48,106 - We don't need a third. - You don't know, so shut up. 970 01:10:52,083 --> 01:10:54,449 Hop on. 971 01:11:10,368 --> 01:11:14,168 Now. Let's go now. 972 01:11:16,007 --> 01:11:17,497 [Nestor] Know what you are? 973 01:11:17,575 --> 01:11:19,008 Yeah. 974 01:11:19,077 --> 01:11:21,671 You are one good-looking ball of trouble. 975 01:11:24,082 --> 01:11:25,276 Good. 976 01:11:36,795 --> 01:11:40,424 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 977 01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:46,232 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 978 01:11:49,941 --> 01:11:52,000 # Go # 979 01:12:02,654 --> 01:12:04,713 What do you think, for the car? 980 01:12:04,789 --> 01:12:08,555 - This one? - The whole thing. We'll lay it in back. 981 01:12:08,626 --> 01:12:11,026 We got multi-cassette capabilities. 982 01:12:11,095 --> 01:12:12,892 Think of the sound! 983 01:12:12,964 --> 01:12:16,331 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 984 01:12:18,136 --> 01:12:22,129 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 985 01:12:23,675 --> 01:12:27,577 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 986 01:12:28,780 --> 01:12:33,342 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 987 01:12:34,786 --> 01:12:38,483 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 988 01:12:39,691 --> 01:12:43,218 [Jim] I'm not helping you load your car. 989 01:12:43,294 --> 01:12:44,727 Think again, boy. 990 01:12:44,796 --> 01:12:47,788 You're not taking the stolen merchandise out. 991 01:12:47,866 --> 01:12:50,130 - I'm not gonna let you. - Get out. 992 01:12:50,201 --> 01:12:52,294 It's stolen. All of it! 993 01:12:52,370 --> 01:12:54,304 - Gimme that! - No! 994 01:12:54,372 --> 01:12:56,704 - Give it to me! - It's mine! 995 01:13:00,845 --> 01:13:02,870 But where... 996 01:13:02,947 --> 01:13:05,415 Wait a minute. 997 01:13:07,185 --> 01:13:10,780 - You're not going with them? - Yeah. 998 01:13:10,855 --> 01:13:14,052 You'll be an accessory. 999 01:13:14,125 --> 01:13:18,027 - So? - You don't know anything about them. 1000 01:13:18,096 --> 01:13:20,394 You certainly don't know anything about him! 1001 01:13:20,465 --> 01:13:22,933 These are hardened criminals here! 1002 01:13:23,001 --> 01:13:25,401 That's enough! 1003 01:13:26,604 --> 01:13:29,334 Don't waste your time. You could get a hernia. 1004 01:13:29,407 --> 01:13:32,001 If my foot could talk, 1005 01:13:32,076 --> 01:13:35,239 it'd say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?" 1006 01:13:35,313 --> 01:13:37,543 - Forget him! - All right. 1007 01:13:37,615 --> 01:13:40,778 He's no use to us. He's built like an oyster. 1008 01:13:40,852 --> 01:13:42,251 Listen. 1009 01:13:44,622 --> 01:13:46,852 If you tell on us, 1010 01:13:46,925 --> 01:13:49,018 I'll kill you. 1011 01:13:53,698 --> 01:13:55,632 Fine. 1012 01:14:00,038 --> 01:14:02,438 Jim? 1013 01:14:10,748 --> 01:14:12,340 Don't be an ass. 1014 01:14:15,019 --> 01:14:16,953 Okay, Jimbo? 1015 01:14:19,757 --> 01:14:21,782 Let's go, shall we? 1016 01:14:42,814 --> 01:14:44,805 [Door Closes] 1017 01:14:48,753 --> 01:14:51,221 [Gil] Ahem. 1018 01:14:51,289 --> 01:14:52,813 C'mon, come on! 1019 01:15:07,538 --> 01:15:10,405 [Grunting] 1020 01:15:10,475 --> 01:15:12,409 You got it? 1021 01:15:12,477 --> 01:15:14,570 I got 'em, I got 'em. 1022 01:15:21,953 --> 01:15:23,545 [Gunshots] 1023 01:16:37,261 --> 01:16:40,025 [Jim Over P.A. System] That wasn't a store robbery. 1024 01:16:40,098 --> 01:16:42,328 That was an assassination. 1025 01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:45,198 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 1026 01:16:45,269 --> 01:16:48,670 How do I know? I spent a little time... 1027 01:16:48,740 --> 01:16:50,799 with the FBI's organized crime unit. 1028 01:16:50,875 --> 01:16:53,639 I'm intimately knowledgeable with the seedy... 1029 01:16:53,711 --> 01:16:56,373 workings of the Mob in the midwest section of this country. 1030 01:16:57,415 --> 01:16:59,815 I know a gangland slaying when I see one, 1031 01:16:59,884 --> 01:17:03,684 and that's exactly what this baby is. 1032 01:17:03,755 --> 01:17:06,383 I'd look into it myself personally, 1033 01:17:06,457 --> 01:17:08,823 but I got a date tonight. 1034 01:17:16,100 --> 01:17:18,330 Attention, Target shoppers. 1035 01:17:22,974 --> 01:17:27,138 [Shotgun Blasts] 1036 01:18:06,050 --> 01:18:08,348 Jim? 1037 01:19:02,440 --> 01:19:04,874 He is so cool! 1038 01:19:47,751 --> 01:19:50,845 # Got my ray-bans on every day and night # 1039 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:54,287 # Got a one-track mind that I wanna hide # 1040 01:19:54,357 --> 01:19:57,656 # Got an easy job that I try to keep # 1041 01:19:57,727 --> 01:20:01,060 # Got a bunch of girls and I got 'em cheap # 1042 01:20:01,131 --> 01:20:04,498 # Got a million things that I wanna do # 1043 01:20:04,567 --> 01:20:08,594 # But I waste my time hangin' out with you # 1044 01:20:08,672 --> 01:20:12,108 # It's not because I'm really easy to please # 1045 01:20:12,175 --> 01:20:15,474 # It's not the way you bring me down on my knees # 1046 01:20:15,545 --> 01:20:18,514 # It's just a feeling but it keeps coming back # 1047 01:20:18,581 --> 01:20:20,913 # It's a tiny little heart attack # 1048 01:20:25,322 --> 01:20:28,348 # Got a big guitar lookin' dynamite # 1049 01:20:28,425 --> 01:20:31,656 # Got a Thunderbird that I drive all night # 1050 01:20:31,728 --> 01:20:35,255 # Got a shoeshine boy working overtime # 1051 01:20:35,332 --> 01:20:38,426 # Gotta grow up soon but I never mind # 1052 01:20:38,501 --> 01:20:41,902 # Got a big fat guy takin' all the blame # 1053 01:20:41,971 --> 01:20:46,032 # For the chairs I break when you call my name # 1054 01:20:46,109 --> 01:20:49,510 # It's not because I'm really easy to please # 1055 01:20:49,579 --> 01:20:52,878 # It's not the way you bring me down on my knees # 1056 01:20:52,949 --> 01:20:55,679 # It's just a feeling but it keeps coming back # 1057 01:20:55,752 --> 01:20:58,846 # It's a tiny little heart attack # 1058 01:20:58,922 --> 01:21:02,323 # Just a tiny little heart attack # 1059 01:21:33,423 --> 01:21:36,483 # Got a snakeskin suit that I really like # 1060 01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:39,824 # Lookin' like the devil on a Friday night # 1061 01:21:39,896 --> 01:21:43,229 # Got a shark outside in the swimming pool # 1062 01:21:43,299 --> 01:21:46,666 # But there won't be trouble if you're stayin' cool # 1063 01:21:46,736 --> 01:21:50,069 # Got my mind made up that I'm leavin' you # 1064 01:21:50,140 --> 01:21:54,304 # But it won't be easy No, it won't be true # 1065 01:22:24,374 --> 01:22:27,673 # Got a snakeskin suit that I really like # 1066 01:22:27,744 --> 01:22:30,872 # Lookin' like the devil on a Friday night # 1067 01:22:30,947 --> 01:22:34,474 # Got a shark outside in the swimming pool # 1068 01:22:34,551 --> 01:22:37,816 # But there won't be trouble if you're stayin' cool # 1069 01:22:37,887 --> 01:22:41,186 # Got my mind made up that I'm leavin' you # 1070 01:22:41,257 --> 01:22:45,387 # But it won't be easy No, it won't be true # 1071 01:22:45,462 --> 01:22:48,761 # I'll never make it through a Saturday night # 1072 01:22:48,832 --> 01:22:52,165 # I'll never make another move in the lights # 1073 01:22:52,235 --> 01:22:54,965 # 'Cause if I see you and you're lookin' like that # 1074 01:22:55,038 --> 01:22:58,997 # I'll get a tiny little heart attack # 1075 01:22:59,075 --> 01:23:02,476 # It's not because I'm really easy to please # 1076 01:23:02,545 --> 01:23:05,810 # It's not the way you bring me down on my knees # 1077 01:23:05,882 --> 01:23:08,646 # It's just a feeling but it keeps coming back # 1078 01:23:08,718 --> 01:23:11,846 # It's a tiny little heart attack # 1079 01:23:11,921 --> 01:23:15,254 # Give me a tiny little heart attack # 1080 01:23:15,325 --> 01:23:18,294 # Give me a tiny little heart attack # 1081 01:23:18,361 --> 01:23:22,058 # I want a tiny little heart attack # 1082 01:23:22,131 --> 01:23:25,259 # Give me a tiny little heart attack # 1083 01:23:25,335 --> 01:23:29,669 # I want a tiny little heart attack ##