[MUSIC]
There's one thing that everyone does, and that's eat.
Most people love to eat, and
others eat only because they have to.
Others will eat anything, just
as long as there's plenty of it.
That's me.
Me too.
Some people think eating is the
most important thing there is.
And those people are called chubsters.
No.
It's not because they eat a lot.
It's because they're very picky about what they eat.
You mean because of allergies?
No.
These people love a certain kind of food
so much, they'll do anything to get it.
Anything.
And if someone gets in their way, well.
Submitted for the approval of the
Midnight Society, I call this story.
The tale of the gruesome gourmet.
What's that?
Hey!
You are so frightened.
Morning, Tommy. Have an accident in bed?
Oh, accident. No, sure.
No, no, no. I don't have time
for natural disasters this morning.
New tenants are moving in
today. Make sure they get the keys.
I thought you didn't want to rent the place for a while.
I didn't, but these people took one look at the big kitchen
and offered me twice what it's worth.
Why is the kitchen so important?
Oh, you'll see. Why are you all wet?
David tried to--
Tell me later. And dry off before Candy gets here.
Oh, we don't need a babysitter.
That's like saying a zoo doesn't need cages.
Be good!
Hey! Don't go whistling off!
You've got to wait for the new tenants.
That's your job. You're the responsible one.
Forget something? I'm the smart one, too.
Give me that.
Hi, guys!
Hey, what happened?
You ruined my paint job.
Paint job? You killed my bike!
Look here, meatball.
Driveways are for cars, not bikes.
I think you were going too fast.
You're going to pay for this, poor chop.
Because if you don't, I'm going to burn you like toast!
I'm going to burn you like toast! Come on, Candy.
Sorry, David.
Poor chop?
Gee, thanks for helping.
What was I supposed to do? The guy's a gorilla.
He certainly is a strapping fellow.
Indeed. Built like a side of beef. Uh, something to do with the whole thing. Perhaps. This is Mr. Pym.
And this is Mr. Collins.
We're your new neighbors.
Oh, I'm Domian. This is my little brother, David.
You're both very little.
In desperate need of some meat on those bones.
Well, here are the keys.
We'll show you the apartment.
Oh, that is necessary.
We relish discovering new things. We're going to burn you like toast. Oh, that is necessary.
We relish discovering new places on our own.
Yes, we just gobble it up.
Adieu.
Oh, by the way, we're
interviewing housekeepers this afternoon.
Would you boys be lambs and send them directly to us?
Uh, sure. No problem.
You got it.
Toodaloo.
I love this bike.
Forget the bike.
How are you going to get the cash to fix Chuck's car?
I put a lot of thought into this.
I'm going to fix the bike and sell it.
As what? Scrap metal?
Put a little more thought into it?
Got a delivery for us?
Not unless you're a fitment column.
Nope. They're our new tenants.
They invite you for dinner yet?
No. They will.
I hope they're on the ground floor.
Uh, second floor.
Figures.
That afternoon, people started
coming to apply for the housekeeping job.
But the two strange men were very
particular about who they wanted.
People came one after the other.
But Mr. Pym and Mr. Collins knew right
away they weren't right and sent them away.
But the afternoon wasn't over yet.
Excuse me.
Up the stairs, second floor.
Don't get used to the place.
[sirens]
I knew this was hopeless.
Chuck is going to come after me.
And I don't even have my bike to escape from.
This is a waste of time.
Yeah. Piece of junk.
That's weird.
What?
That chubby guy never came back.
Oh, I can tell just by looking at you that you are...
Just the type we need.
Won't you have a cup of our famous pineapple cider?
[sirens]
[screaming]
What was that?
Let's see.
Oh, it's none of our business.
You're such a chicken.
[crash]
Hello, young man.
I'm looking for--
Sorry, lady. Too late.
Guy went up yesterday and never
left, so he probably got the job.
Oh, what's he, a rather large man?
You mean Tubby. Yeah, I butt like you.
Oh, yummy. Absolutely yummy.
What are they auditioning for, a circus?
Hello there.
You've just in time for a cup
of our famous pineapple cider.
Oh, yummy.
Let's listen for another scream.
Who are you two coconuts spying on?
Nobody, let go.
I just found out it's gonna cost me $200 to fix my car.
Now, if you don't come up with
the cash by Friday, you're toast.
You got it? Toast?
Toast?
A tasty idea.
[sniff]
There's something fishy going on up there.
Fishy? They only say that on TV.
I want to get a look inside. Let's go up the fire escape.
No way.
Why not? You being chicken again?
No, it's just that you'll need to look out down here.
Yeah, we're safe, you mean.
[music]
Excuse me.
Something's amiss.
What's up with you?
Careful, young man. One slip and your hamburger meat.
I was, um, looking for my basketball.
All the way up here.
Uh, yeah, that's why I need binoculars.
Won't you come in for dinner?
Yummy.
Let me help you inside.
No, I mean, I'm not hungry. I mean, I gotta go.
[music]
Who's out there?
[music]
[screaming]
Yummy!
You better scream toast, boy, because by tomorrow, you
gotta come up with 200 bucks.
I hate that guy.
Forget him. I figured out what's going on upstairs.
What?
You know the giant pots and pans?
Yeah.
And the disappearing people?
Yeah.
And stuff made from their clothes?
Yeah.
And the pineapple cider they
drank just before disappearing?
Yeah.
Tommy, I know what's going on.
What?
Our new tenants are cannibals.
I'm not breaking in there.
It's not breaking in if you have a key.
I don't know.
Look, all we gotta do is find proof they're cannibals, take
it to the police, and collect a big reward.
Then I can pay if Chuck and we all live happily ever after.
What are we gonna find that proves that they're cannibals?
On second thought, don't answer that.
If you get my meeting, Mr. Piff...
For thought, Mr. Collins, how do we get something that big
upstairs without those boys seeing?
Indeed. This is a pickle. They've gotten rather suspicious.
Well, if they discover our secret,
we'll just have to have them for dinner.
Agreed.
Did you hear that? The Chups
just want to have us for dinner.
We gotta tell Mom.
Yeah, right. Hey, Mom, guess
what? Our new neighbors are cannibals.
Nobody's gonna believe us without proof.
Little cheese heads. That'll
teach them to mess with my car.
This place is a nightmare.
I'm looking, but I don't want to find anything.
Yo, I got a delivery for you two guys.
Isn't that nice? You saved us a trip.
Hey, look at this. How to serve six people?
Trim the fat off your man? The
carnivore's guide to picking the right cut of meat?
It's cannibal cookbooks. Let's
see what the main ingredient is.
Jewelry! From their victims!
Yeah, but it doesn't prove anything.
Careful! We wouldn't want to bruise anything.
Meatballs.
Proves one thing. They like Italian food.
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Uh-oh.
What?
The freezer.
One, two, three.
I think my suspenders are falling.
You go faster in common.
Frank's and Beans. Steak, Diane.
Virginia ham.
Hamburger patty.
Head cheese.
It's people food, man. I mean, it's food made from people.
Good gravy.
It's the cannibals.
Something's amiss.
Wait, the back door.
What's going on here?
Who's in here?
Those nosy little boys.
They smell it.
They're going to find themselves in hot water very soon.
I cannot believe you locked them in there.
Hey, little squids deserved it.
You know, sometimes you really are a meathead.
Okay, stay here while I straighten this out.
Well, hello.
Hi, I'm Candy, the boy's babysitter.
I hope they're not being pains.
Candy, how sweet.
Won't you come in?
Oh.
Welcome, Candy. Please.
Oh, no. They've got candy.
Let us fix you a cup of our famous pineapple cider.
They're making her pineapple cider.
So, every time somebody disappears,
that's what the cannibals gave them.
Are you sure the boys aren't here?
Candy, what a delightful name.
Nothing tastes sweeter.
We've got to do something.
And like what?
Nothing like a hot cup of
pineapple cider to cure what's eating you.
You know what's eating her or
what's going to be eating her.
No, I should really go find those boys.
Nonsense. Not before you sight her.
We've got to stop them.
Forget it.
David, who's checking now?
You know, I don't really like cider.
Oh, you'll like this cider.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Tommy, please. I don't want to be lunch.
I'm tired of being the responsible one.
Don't drink in the cannibals!
Run!
Let's go!
[dog barking]
Cannibals, that is ridiculous.
Okay, then how do you explain the
giant stove and the heater tools?
Because gourmet cooking requires special equipment.
And as for the large size, well, we have sizable appetites.
But we heard that guy scream, and then he disappeared.
Yes, he took one look at that filthy stack of pots and
fadedly left after he came too.
Didn't want the job.
I guess you missed him.
What about the jewelry and the phony cookbook?
We keep our valuables hidden in case of intruders.
Apparently, we need a safer place.
Okay, okay. How about the lady in the polka dot dress?
You made napkins out of her clothes.
Hello!
Am I late for dinner?
Not at all. You're right on time.
Oh, yummy!
And I brought you another present.
April's! To match the napkins you gave us.
How lovely!
I just love polka dots!
So what's the deal with the cider?
Oh, you mean our famous pineapple cider?
I just bought some. It's delicious.
We blush.
Boys, I think you owe an apology.
I'm sorry I thought you ate people.
Me too.
Apology graciously accepted.
And David, to show that there are no hard feelings,
we have something for you.
Open it!
Oh, man! Thank you!
To celebrate our new friendship,
why don't you all join us for dinner this evening?
We're having a very special meal.
It's a luau theme. We even had special police mats made.
We're cooking up something extra special.
Chuck steak!
On toast!
(Laughing)
On toast!
The end.
So, what did you bring to eat?
Something very special. It's my favorite.
I don't think I'm hungry anymore.
That's most beef, right?
Not exactly.
Then what is it?
Well, it's tasty. It's meaty.
It's tongue-y. It's meaty. It's tongue.
Bon Appetit!