[TENSE MUSIC]
[LAUGHTER]
[CRASHING]
[TENSE MUSIC]
[SIRENS] [TENSE MUSIC] (dramatic music)
- Did he show?
- No.
- What if he doesn't come?
- It's no big deal.
I'll tell the story.
Did he really start a fight in school?
All I know is something happened
and he got sent to the principal.
- I bet he's grounded.
- What a jerk, why did he start a fight?
- And that's the kind of
thinking that makes me nuts.
- What did you do?
I know you got cool.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How come whenever
something nasty goes down,
I take the heat?
It's like I'm guilty
till proven innocent.
- Because you're usually guilty?
- No, just because somebody
does some things sometimes
doesn't mean he does
everything all the time.
Forget it.
All right, I got a
story about this very thing.
It's about a guy
who's a little different.
He doesn't go along with
what's normal, you know?
People don't like
things that aren't normal.
It makes them uncomfortable,
but that's the way my guy likes it.
That is, until he gets into trouble
and he has nowhere to turn.
And the only person who believes in him
is the one person who
should fear the most.
Submitted for the
approval of the Midnight Society.
I call this story
The Tale of Vampire Town.
(dramatic music)
(explosion)
- Hello.
Coming, coming.
Mysterio Funeral Home.
Oh, hi, honey.
Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way.
No, no, I won't forget the milk.
Yeah.
See you soon.
(explosion)
(dramatic music)
(explosion)
(groans) (explosion)
(whimpers)
(explosion)
(dramatic music)
Tonight I arrive in
Mysterio, the fabled vampire town.
Only last week there was a vampire attack
in this quiet hamlet.
Could it be that Dreyfus,
the greatest vampire of all,
has returned?
Legend has it that he
slept in the cat combs
beneath Mysterio for centuries.
If this is true and he has
indeed risen from his grave,
I will do everything
in my power to meet him.
Face to face.
Dad, take it easy.
I mean, Father, please take care.
- Sorry, Mr. Legosi.
- Lunchtime.
You know I only eat red meat.
- Yeah, peanut butter
sticks to the fangs.
- If I'm going to hunt vampires,
then I need to think like a vampire.
And I don't think that
they eat peanut butter.
(dramatic music)
Mysterio, one mile.
- You sure you wanna go to this place?
I mean, I got field seats
for the Jets game tomorrow.
- Honey, this is Adder's call.
- Yeah, but field seats.
- This is a family trip.
We agreed as a family to
let Adder choose the place.
- Yeah, yeah.
Transylvania, here we come.
(dramatic music)
- This is the place?
- Just as I imagined it.
- Better have cable.
- Ugh, what is that smell?
- Raven's blood, nightshade and mandrake,
a vampire delicacy from Romania.
They can't resist it.
- He gets this from
your side of the family.
(dramatic music)
- Why does he always make fun of me?
- You're a great kid, Adder.
But we just don't
understand this fascination
with vampires.
- I'm sorry, if I'm not
the son, you want me to be.
- All we want is for you to be happy.
And if that means
dressing up and carrying around
bottles of stinky
vampire goo, then go for it.
(dramatic music)
Come on.
- I can't, not till after sunset.
- Right, gotta think like a vampire.
You know vampires aren't real, don't you?
- That's what we're here to find out.
(bell ringing)
- A cheery spot.
Someone should open a window.
We never opened a curtains.
- Sunlight damages our antiques.
- But you do have cable, right?
- And running water.
- Perfect, we booked two rooms.
- It should be under the name Carbio.
- Sign the book, please.
And your other guest?
- He'll be here after sunset.
- Don't ask.
What's this about this
town being full of vampires?
Old fables, like the witches of Salem.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
- We heard there was a
vampire attack last week.
- Do you believe in vampires?
- Of course not.
- Neither do I, neither
does anyone else in Wisteria.
We've been fighting
those rumors for years.
It keeps the tourists away.
- Or in our case, it attracts them.
- Still, people
believe what they want to.
- Speaking for the citizens of Wisteria,
we'd appreciate it if you
wouldn't spread silly rumors.
- Memo to self, don't ask
the hotel guy about vampires.
- He's gonna love at her.
(dramatic music)
- I wouldn't fool around
in that getup if I were you.
- Show me to my room.
- Number 16, up the stairs to the left.
- I want to see the catacombs.
- Catacombs?
They've been closed for years.
- Closed?
I mean, show me.
I understand there's an entrance in the
basement of this inn.
Hey, so that the way?
- The catacombs are sealed up.
Why are you so interested?
- Let's just say I have an
appointment with destiny.
(dramatic music)
- Carl, Stanley, did you get
a look at what attacked you
the other night?
Too bad, because somebody just checked in
that's making me very nervous.
- My father looks at me
like I were from another world.
Perhaps I am.
Or should be.
The catacombs are
sealed, but that won't stop me.
Tonight, while everyone
sleeps, I will find Dreyfus.
If he exists.
- You'll add her.
What are you writing?
- Nothing.
- You're writing something?
- You just make fun of
it, like everything else.
- Well, hunting vampires is pretty goofy.
- Let's talk about something else.
- Well, I'm turning in.
- What are we up
planning to talk about tomorrow?
- Yeah, the real yak fest.
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
- Unreal.
(dramatic music)
- You sure he's the one who jumped me?
Why else would he be coming down here?
We got him, all right.
(dramatic music) (dramatic music)
- Wow.
I'm gonna be famous.
Dreyfus, he's really here.
- Don't move, you devil.
I thought we saw the last day.
Your kind ages ago.
- My kind, what are you, hey, whoa, whoa.
I'm not a vampire.
Look out!
(screaming)
- Stuck.
Come on, I know another way.
(dramatic music)
- Cover the south
tunnel, I'll track the door.
Who would do we do when we get him?
- Stink the vampire.
- What am I doing?
I gotta be crazy.
(screaming)
(footsteps)
Who are you?
- Dreyfus.
You're real?
- Here, I never
thought I'd really find you.
- That what I expected.
- I need to feed.
- Feed?
- Hey, whoa, not me.
Back off.
- Here.
(dramatic music)
- There.
Wait, I swear I'm not a vampire.
I'm a vampire hunter.
- Look at him, he looks like a vampire.
- Stay dead, stay dead.
(screaming)
- Where am I?
(dramatic music)
Ow.
(growling)
(screaming)
- Oh, gross.
- He must have come up here.
- You're right, he came up through here.
- That's how he nearly
got you the other night.
- He can't be far.
Let's split up.
- I can't help it.
(dramatic music)
- We've got you now.
- He wasn't in the--
- It's okay, he can't get away.
- Wait, I swear I'm not a vampire.
My name is Zadar Carbayo.
My parents are staying at your inn.
- You vampires are all the same,
real brave until
you're about to get staked.
- No, look, my reflection, kissy.
Hello.
- Don't let him fool you.
- Why don't you rats
leave our town alone?
- I'm not a vampire, but I'm a kid.
I go to Westport High, ninth grade.
This, this, this is an act.
So, so.
- So what?
- So I can pretend.
I wanted to see if vampires are real.
And they are, I found one.
- So did we.
And we're gonna send you
back where you came from.
(screaming)
(coughing)
- Dreyfus.
- Dylie!
Somebody help me!
- Dreyfus, over here.
Raven's blood, nightshade and Andraic,
all the way from Romania.
Just for you, better
than blood, isn't it?
And you, you haven't
eaten in a long, long time.
Come and get it.
(panting)
(dramatic music)
(gasping)
(thunder rumbling)
(screaming)
(gasping)
- You, you saved my life.
- Yeah, I guess I did.
- So, it was Dreyfus all along.
I never thought I'd find him.
It was all just a dumb game.
- It's not a game here, son.
There are dozens of
vampires buried down below.
We don't usually have
problems, but every so often.
- So, this really is vampire town.
- I'm sorry, kid.
If there's anything I can
do to make it up to you.
- Actually, there is.
You can tell that hotel guy
that I'm not really a vampire.
- Stanley?
That little weasel ran away, didn't he?
- Yeah, he really is kind of a weenie.
(laughing) (dramatic music)
- Bill, this place
isn't so bad after all.
- And today's gonna
be about Adder, right?
- Adder?
- Yes, Adder.
- Our Adder?
- Adder?
- Hey guys, how'd you sleep?
- Terrific.
You feeling okay?
- I couldn't be better.
- Good.
You ready to go check
out those catacombs?
- You really go with me?
- Oh, it's a little
weird, but if you're into it,
who am I to judge?
- Well, thanks a lot, Dad.
But they're closed.
- Really?
Ah, gee, too bad.
So, let's do something else.
- Um, I thought maybe we
could use those giant tickets.
- You're kidding.
You wanna go to the game?
- But what about the vampire hunt?
- The cave I saw.
- It's over.
- You sure?
- Positive.
- Well, let's hit it.
We'll make it in time for kickoff.
- I'll be right there.
(upbeat music)
- Hello?
Hello, Adder.
- Hey, thanks for not saying anything
to my parents about last night.
I don't think they'd understand.
- I'll never breathe a word.
- In case you run into any more vampires.
- How kind.
- Well, bye. (dramatic music)
Oh, you know, there's
something that I don't get.
If Dreyfus only arose last night,
then who attacked Mr. Mueller last week?
- I was hoping people
would think it was you.
- Yeah, but we, uh...
Wait.
What do you mean, "hoping"?
- It's getting harder and
harder to get by undetected.
- I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - I'm not sure. - I hope you like vampire town
because you'll be
staying here a long, long time.
(dramatic music)
- And that's the end.
- That was good.
- That was great.
- Great story.
- Well, meeting's over.
We're outta here.
I'm so sorry.
- I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. - I'm sorry, Quinn.
It wasn't fair to think
you started the fight.
- It's okay.
- Yeah, me too, dude.
I wasn't thinking.
- Don't worry about it.
- All right.
- See ya.
- So, who did start the fight?
- I did, but hey, the guy deserved it.
He didn't have my lunch.
- Yep, I kinda figured.
- That's cause you're a
smart guy, just like me.
(sighs)
(upbeat music)