1
00:00:12,094 --> 00:00:14,597
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:23,708
Here it is, gentlemen.

3
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,587
Enough kaboom to turn Gotham
into the world's biggest pothole.

4
00:01:27,878 --> 00:01:30,756
What say we start the bidding
at one million?

5
00:01:31,799 --> 00:01:33,676
- One million.
- Two million.

6
00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:35,636
- Three million.
- Five.

7
00:01:37,346 --> 00:01:41,851
Gentlemen, please. Don't insult me
with nickel-and-dime bids.

8
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:46,105
The man who walks out with this bomb
walks out with Gotham in his pocket.

9
00:01:46,522 --> 00:01:48,899
Yours to pick clean or blow sky-high.

10
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,485
Your call. What am I bid?

11
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:54,196
JOKER: How about nothing?

12
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:58,159
Zero, zip, zilch, nada.

13
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,163
My personal check for bupkis.

14
00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:05,750
Drawn on
the First National Bank of Squadoo.

15
00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:07,209
(JOKER LAUGHS)

16
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,295
(GUNS COCKING)

17
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:12,715
Sorry, boys,

18
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,508
this lot is sold.

19
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:19,597
(ALL SCREAMING)

20
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,143
(CHUCKLING)

21
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:27,396
(GROANS)

22
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,149
Whoops.

23
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,276
(SCREAMS)

24
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,573
You really should loosen up, dear.

25
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,575
Have a laugh now and then.

26
00:02:42,703 --> 00:02:44,955
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

27
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,003
That's so much more pleasant.

28
00:02:51,587 --> 00:02:54,715
MAYOR: <i>Alerting the public now
would only cause a panic, Commissioner.</i>

29
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:58,594
But if that madman plans to use
the bomb, we've got to clear the city.

30
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,889
MAYOR: <i>I can't evacuate 10 million
people on your suspicions.</i>

31
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,600
We don't even know if the bomb's
still in Gotham.

32
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,811
Keep me posted if you find anything.

33
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,356
The Joker will be
extra cautious this time.

34
00:03:10,606 --> 00:03:11,774
We'll have to think like him.

35
00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:14,110
Or recruit someone who does.

36
00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,826
(SINGING)

37
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,414
(DOOR OPENS)

38
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,832
Ms. Quinn.

39
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,166
(GASPS)

40
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:31,877
(GROANS)

41
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:33,379
(GAGGING)

42
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,051
Don't you knock before entering
a lady's boudoir?

43
00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:42,638
- I need help.
- Well, you've come to the right place.

44
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,390
I recommend a lobotomy.

45
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,143
The Joker's stolen a bomb.

46
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,270
If I can't get to him in time

47
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,481
this city and everyone in it
is going up in a mushroom cloud.

48
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,194
So you want me to
turn squealer on Mr. J. Ha!

49
00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,531
Sorry, B-man, no deal.

50
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,284
I've talked to Gordon
and Dr. Bartholomew.

51
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,787
You help me find the Joker, and they'll
write your ticket out of here.

52
00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:08,122
Whee!

53
00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:10,624
If you promise no double-cross.

54
00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:14,628
Ah, shoot, take all the fun out of life.

55
00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:16,839
I don't have time for jokes.

56
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,800
Okay, okay, I promise.

57
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,010
Shake?

58
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,308
Oh, the irony of it.

59
00:04:27,391 --> 00:04:31,687
The grim, stalwart Dark Knight
and his greatest female adversary

60
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,898
fighting together to save the city.

61
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,448
I sense a lack of trust.

62
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,911
<i>Sure you don't need any help
keeping Zippy under control?</i>

63
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,245
I'm fine.

64
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:51,582
Besides, I need you to be ready
if Gordon's men get any leads.

65
00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:53,876
- I'll signal if there's trouble.
<i>- You got it.</i>

66
00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:56,754
- HARLEY: I wanna listen to the radio.
- Don't!

67
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,468
(TIRES SCREECHING)

68
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,268
Oops.

69
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,354
Listen, and listen good.

70
00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:16,774
You don't touch anything, say anything

71
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:18,901
or do anything unless I tell you!

72
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:21,278
- Got it?
- Yes, sir.

73
00:05:24,573 --> 00:05:27,326
So far, Joker hasn't been seen
at any of his old hideouts.

74
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,663
I want you to show me the last place
he used when he escaped.

75
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:33,582
Okay.

76
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:42,299
This used to be our special love nest.

77
00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:49,098
Have a look around while I slip into
something more comfortable.

78
00:05:49,723 --> 00:05:50,808
No tricks.

79
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,227
Hey, we have a deal, remember?

80
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,415
- (HYENAS GROWLING)
- (YELPS)

81
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:25,217
(HYENAS SNARLING)

82
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,219
Whee!

83
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:31,682
Ah! I feel like a human being again.

84
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:36,145
Hi, babies! Mommy's home!

85
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,192
Are you the sweetest babies?

86
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,070
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

87
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,575
How do you like our <i>ha-hacienda?</i>

88
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,118
Charming.

89
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,329
Especially these monitors.

90
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,915
Between the cops,
city hall and the mayor's office,

91
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,583
Joker has the whole city wired.

92
00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,251
He's a genius.

93
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,128
What's the attraction, Quinn?

94
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,797
This sick infatuation with the Joker.

95
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,050
Look, Bats, when I was a doctor

96
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,886
I was always listening
to other people's problems.

97
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:15,142
Then I met Mr. J., who listened to me
for a change and made everything fun.

98
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,313
You think it's funny
when he hurts people?

99
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,190
It's just a joke.

100
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,442
Hope you're still laughing
when it's your turn.

101
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,110
Hmph.

102
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:29,531
BATMAN: Meet us at
the Apex novelty factory.

103
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:33,077
Quinn says it's an old hideout.
But the Joker may be using it again.

104
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,370
<i>I'm on my way.</i>

105
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,217
- Grab on.
- I can do it myself, thank you.

106
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,595
Ha-ha! Ow!

107
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,682
(LAUGHS FLIRTINGLY)

108
00:07:56,558 --> 00:07:58,268
(SCREAMING)

109
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,155
Sneak, sneak, sneak.

110
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,949
- Shh.
- Shh.

111
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:15,703
What do you mean, "Shh"?
No one's been in this dump for years.

112
00:08:18,747 --> 00:08:20,582
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

113
00:08:31,468 --> 00:08:33,721
(PANICKED CHATTER)

114
00:08:37,224 --> 00:08:38,350
HARLEY: Uh-oh.

115
00:08:41,061 --> 00:08:42,229
(BATMAN GROANS)

116
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,859
Hey, guys, look who I got.

117
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,402
(GROANS)

118
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,446
BOXY: Well, well.

119
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:52,132
If it ain't the big, bad Batman

120
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,241
come to break up
Boxy Bennett's little social club.

121
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,703
It's gonna cost you, freak, big time.

122
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,831
Hi, Boxy. Long time no see.

123
00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:03,292
Harley Quinn.

124
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:06,547
Last I heard, they tossed you in
the squirrel farm and swallowed the key.

125
00:09:07,504 --> 00:09:08,624
What you doing with the Bat?

126
00:09:09,631 --> 00:09:10,924
(GULPS)

127
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,636
Come on, you don't think
I was working with Batman?

128
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,682
I know you'd blow us both away
if you thought that.

129
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:20,517
You thought right, sugar.

130
00:09:23,812 --> 00:09:24,855
Phew.

131
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,399
So, you ain't seen Mr. J. around,
have you?

132
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,525
Nope.

133
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,920
You know, I never could figure
what a cute little number like yourself

134
00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:32,613
saw in a slob like the Joker.

135
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:36,033
Especially when there are suave guys
like me around.

136
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:37,993
Now, Boxy.

137
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:41,163
Sure, my pudding's
a little temperamental.

138
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:46,752
But, gee, what relationship
doesn't have its ups and downs?

139
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,714
(ALL GASP IN CONFUSION)

140
00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:53,425
Ha!

141
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,261
A flat.

142
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,472
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

143
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:05,187
(SINGING) <i>I never knew</i>
<i>That our romance had ended</i>

144
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:09,149
<i>Until you poisoned my food</i>

145
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,611
<i>And I thought it was a lark</i>

146
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,781
<i>When you kicked me in the park</i>

147
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:20,160
<i>But now I think it was rude</i>

148
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:26,500
<i>I never knew that
you and I were finished</i>

149
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:30,212
<i>Until that bottle hit my head</i>

150
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,424
<i>Though I tried to be aloof</i>

151
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,969
<i>When you pushed me off the roof</i>

152
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:41,348
<i>I feel our romance is dead</i>

153
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:47,813
<i>It wouldn't have been so bad
If you had told me</i>

154
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:52,151
<i>That someone had taken my place</i>

155
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:58,407
<i>But no
No, you didn't even scold me</i>

156
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:03,579
<i>You just tried to disfigure my face</i>

157
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:10,252
<i>You'll never know
How this heart of mine is breaking</i>

158
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:14,006
<i>It looks so hopeless, but then</i>

159
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:18,260
<i>Life used to be so placid</i>

160
00:11:18,343 --> 00:11:21,388
<i>Won't you please put down that acid?</i>

161
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:27,561
<i>And say that we're sweethearts again</i>

162
00:11:29,354 --> 00:11:31,857
(ALL CHEERING)

163
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,818
MAN 1: Yeah.
MAN 2: All right, baby!

164
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,618
Whoo! All right, B and R!

165
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,793
ROBIN: Hey, ugly.

166
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,464
They're all working together.

167
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,013
(ROBIN GRUNTS)

168
00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:10,062
(GROWLS)

169
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:11,813
Let's go, Quinn!

170
00:12:12,147 --> 00:12:13,315
Quinn!

171
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:14,691
HARLEY: Whee!

172
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,485
Bombs away!

173
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:18,654
- Huh?
- (ALL YELP)

174
00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:21,531
Yes!

175
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:23,158
(SHRIEKS)

176
00:12:26,411 --> 00:12:28,330
Did you see the way
I handled those creeps?

177
00:12:28,455 --> 00:12:29,706
Pow! Bam!

178
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,084
Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out.

179
00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:35,504
What was she before she went bonkers?

180
00:12:35,879 --> 00:12:37,381
A clinical psychiatrist.

181
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,592
Figures.

182
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,517
- Any word on the Joker?
- Nothing.

183
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,979
I even checked with Gordon again,
and the mayor still refuses

184
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,772
to let the cops evacuate the city.

185
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,941
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

186
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,069
Oh, it's brilliant.

187
00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:02,406
Way to go, Mr. J.!

188
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:03,865
What are you saying?

189
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,201
Oh, come on, Bats.

190
00:13:06,868 --> 00:13:09,871
You've seen how my pudding
keeps an eye on Gotham.

191
00:13:10,205 --> 00:13:12,082
<i>What better way to
tie up the cops</i>

192
00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:14,084
<i>than to tie up the mayor?</i>

193
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:20,924
Whoo-hoo!

194
00:13:27,222 --> 00:13:29,975
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

195
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:39,901
See, do I know how
Mr. J. thinks, or what? Ha!

196
00:13:40,944 --> 00:13:44,656
And here you thought I was just another
bubble-headed blond bimbo.

197
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,035
Well, the joke's on you.
I'm not even a real blond.

198
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,122
Good job.

199
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,958
Huh? Hey!

200
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,840
- What gives?
- I can't risk you warning the Joker.

201
00:14:02,799 --> 00:14:05,010
Would I do a thing like that?

202
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,846
Hey, let me out! Come on!

203
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:13,226
Boy, you just can't trust some people.

204
00:14:21,568 --> 00:14:25,697
Nothing like a moonlight dip,
eh, Mr. Mayor? (LAUGHING)

205
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,076
Please, just make your ransom demands
and get on with it.

206
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,789
Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.

207
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:37,000
- You can't mean...
- Oh, yes, indeedy-do.

208
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:41,797
Instead of taking you, the cops
and the Batman down separately,

209
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,216
I'm going to blast you all at once.

210
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:47,928
Send down the plane, boys.

211
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,971
We're blowing town.

212
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,306
Literally.

213
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:52,974
<i>Yes, sir.</i>

214
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,727
But all those innocent people.

215
00:14:56,019 --> 00:15:01,483
Some joke on them, eh?
Think of it as the ultimate punch line.

216
00:15:01,691 --> 00:15:03,902
(JOKER LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

217
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,369
(GROANS)

218
00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:26,800
Ha!

219
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,553
(YELPS)

220
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,388
(GROANS)

221
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,314
(GRUNTING)

222
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,277
What? Hey!

223
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:53,285
Gee, it's amazing what you find
in people's glove compartments.

224
00:15:54,369 --> 00:15:55,495
Harley?

225
00:15:55,745 --> 00:15:58,331
Hi, pudding. Miss me?

226
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:03,044
You clever little minx.

227
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,297
How did you escape from Arkham?

228
00:16:05,672 --> 00:16:08,091
Batman sprung me so I could find you.

229
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,845
Had me all locked up
in his bad old car, too.

230
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:13,472
Aww.

231
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,308
Quinn, we had a deal!

232
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:20,854
Deal's off, B-man. No one ever said
anything about hurting Mr. J.

233
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,565
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

234
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,037
Oh!

235
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:43,418
AUTOMATED VOICE: <i>10-minute countdown
sequence has been engaged.</i>

236
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,753
Oh, my Lord.

237
00:16:45,378 --> 00:16:46,588
Come, my dear.

238
00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:50,759
We'll get to a safe altitude,
then watch the fireworks.

239
00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,761
It's lucky you were here, Harley.

240
00:16:52,969 --> 00:16:55,639
The countdown sequence
didn't leave Joker enough time

241
00:16:55,722 --> 00:16:57,682
to swing by Arkham and pick you up.

242
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,476
Quiet, brat.

243
00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:02,437
You were gonna come back for me,
weren't you, pudding?

244
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,940
Of course, pumpkin pie.

245
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,859
It's just that... Well, here you are,

246
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,529
so I can save myself a trip.

247
00:17:10,987 --> 00:17:12,447
But what about all our friends?

248
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:17,536
Ivy and Two-Face and hat guy
and lizard man and puppet head and...

249
00:17:17,994 --> 00:17:19,120
What about them?

250
00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:20,956
Don't forget your little pets.

251
00:17:21,998 --> 00:17:25,460
(GASPS) The babies!
We can't leave the babies!

252
00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:27,796
I'll buy you a goldfish!

253
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,173
- Let's go!
- No!

254
00:17:30,423 --> 00:17:31,716
Why, you little...

255
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:36,846
(GROANS)

256
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:58,868
You know, Bats, I got a crazy idea

257
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:02,122
Mr. J. may not be the guy
for me after all.

258
00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:03,665
(HARLEY SHRIEKS)

259
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:17,804
(GASPS)

260
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,366
Ha!

261
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:46,166
- Go around again!
- But, boss...

262
00:18:49,085 --> 00:18:51,796
- I said do it!
- Yes, sir.

263
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,389
(TIMER BEEPING)

264
00:19:02,265 --> 00:19:03,391
(BEEPING STOPS)

265
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,475
- Made it with time to spare.
- (PLANE APPROACHING)

266
00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:16,988
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

267
00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:38,093
That bomb's going off
even if I go with it!

268
00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:40,428
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

269
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,563
Laugh this off, pudding!

270
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:11,376
BOTH: Whoa!

271
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,129
(SCREAMS)

272
00:20:38,945 --> 00:20:40,321
(COUGHING)

273
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,959
- Freeze, clown.
- Quinn, stop!

274
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:55,086
He's mine, Bats.

275
00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:01,551
You wouldn't dare.

276
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,180
You don't have the guts.

277
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:09,476
Not in a million years would you...

278
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:11,811
(BOTH GASP)

279
00:21:16,232 --> 00:21:17,484
(BOTH SIGH IN RELIEF)

280
00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:29,412
(LAUGHS)

281
00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:32,373
Baby, you're the greatest.

282
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,353
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)