Ah-hyuck!
♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪
♪ Like father, like son ♪
♪ You're always number one ♪
[both] Yes!
♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪
Yeah!
♪ You always seem to work things out ♪
♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪
♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪
Whoa!
♪ A real good time ♪
Aah!
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
♪ And we'll always stick together ♪
♪ Always stick together ♪
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪
♪ We're always ready to roll ♪
♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
♪ And we always stick together ♪
Gawrsh!
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪
♪ Come along and join the fun ♪
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪
Yeah!
There! Not missin' this show no how, no way!
Three minutes to air time.
Oh, Petey's gonna be on TV!
Bury this!
So nobody trips on the cord.
A copy for me, one for mom, one for the academy.
Comfy? Have some munchies.
Hey, Goof! Showtime!
Come on, Dad. There's gonna be
a big TV news special about Pete.
Our own neighbour on tellyvision?
I wouldn't miss that for all the jell-o in Java.
Huh? Gawrsh!
Twenty big ones! Know what this means?
New skateboard, here I come.
No! I gotta find the rightful owner, and pronto!
What if this belongs to some little old lady?
What if she needs it to pay the mortgage on the--
I get it, I get it.
It's like I always say, Max,
-honesty's the best policy. -Honesty's the best policy.
Tell Pete I'll be back in two tics of a tac toe.
He's not going to like this.
Aw, shucks. He'll understand.
[Pete] He's doin' what?
[gasp] Why, thanks, Goof. You found my missin' 20.
-Yours? You sure? Can you identify it? -You betcha?
Twos, zeros, a picture of Andy Jackson
when he had more hair and needed glasses.
You're right. Here you go.
Oh, I just can't wait!
I called everybody at school, and they're all watching.
[indistinct chatter]
All right, all right.
In 10 seconds, you are going to witness
a major event in television broadcastin',
a news special devoted solely to me.
So sit back, relax,
and try to hold the applause, hmm?
Good day, Spoonerville.
I'm Roland R. Havacheque,
and this is a special presentation
of channel one hyperaction news!
Today a startling profile of a man called Pete,
Spoonerville's leading used car dealer,
as we present "Honest Pete's Used Cars:
Scam or menace"?
What? Pfaah!
[female reporter] Is Honest Pete's just another consumer rip-off
or a menace to then entire free enterprise system?
You be the judge.
Hey, look! It's Petey!
[female reporter] Channel one's hidden camera was there
as Pete conned an unsuspecting customer
into taking a test ride
in a car specially rigged to separate the customer
from his pocket change.
Heh-heh-heh.
Sucker!
Now, now, don't go jumpin' to contusions.
Haven't you ever heard of finders keepers?
[muttering]
Even after the deal's made,
it's never too late for Honest Pete to pull the old switcheroo.
Aah!
Get that remote control, quick!
Ah-hyuck! He's a regular TV star.
And to think we knew him when.
Yeah. Before the tar and feathers.
My wives of hopeless husbands group
is getting an earful this week.
But, honey mustard, this is business.
Everybody knows when their back's turned, anything goes.
Mommy, can P.J. phone the FBI now?
Later, we talked to the chief of police.
These abuses must cease.
Any more shady shenanigans, and honest Pete's gonna be jailbird Pete!
[siren wailing]
They're coming to get me!
Don't let 'em get me, Goof!
We're best pals! Bosom buddies!
You gotta help me!
[knock on door]
There he is!
Eee!
I've been looking for you...
Mr Goof.
Me?
Your posters for that $20 bill
are a shining example to everyone outside of politics.
Therefore, as mayor of our fair city,
I'm pleased to proclaim you
the most honest man in Spoonerville.
Gawrsh!
All right, dad!
And at note, I'm happy to announce
the most honest man in Spoonerville
has just been made custodian of customer contentment
at Honest Pete's Used Cars.
I have?
That's Honest Pete's Used Cars,
open seven days a week at the sign of the big smilin' Pete,
where no deal's too small and no price is to high
for you, the car-buyin' public.
And remember,
one double-dealing dirty trick, and it's off to the hoosegow.
Yes, your chieftanship.
Well, I must say I never thought I'd buy a car from honest Pete's,
but if one can't trust the most honest man in Spoonerville, then who?
[Goofy] Honesty is our policy.
Heh-heh. It's working already.
Hmm... I don't know.
$5,000 seems on the steep side.
Sure does.
Can't worth more than, oh, 12 bucks.
-Sold! -What?
That heap cost me a buck 50!
[grumbling]
Going somewhere, Pete?
Heh-heh-heh.
Just going to congratulate my new associate
on his very first sale.
Heh-heh-heh.
Congratulations, Pal.
Thank you kindly, Pete.
Here you go. Two 5s and a 2.
Hee-hee-hee-hee!
That's... swell.
Hmm... bent axle, holes in the gas tank...
I know it isn't much of a car,
but if I could get a few dollars for it...
Well, I guess I could give you 2 bucks for it.
Oh, that would be wonderful.
Since my Henry passed on,
it's been so hard to make ends meet.
I've sold practically everything--
my furniture, the wallpaper.
I had to put the goldfish up for adoption.
I couldn't afford to change the water
in his little bowl.
Gawrsh.
Here. Here's 500 bucks.
Oh, thank you!
Close enough.
Of course it will be hard
to get to the senior centre now that the car is gone,
but I suppose I'm too old
and too poor to have fun anymore.
Gawrsh. Everybody ought to have a little fun
once in a while. Tell you what I'm gonna do.
I can throw in some kind of vehicle
to help get you by.
[neigh]
Not the Fellini deluxe!
Honesty is our policy.
Can't be worth more than 12 bucks.
I've got to find the rightful owner.
That's a promise.
I-- d-- what-- aah!
[Goofy] What a day! Ah-hyuck!
Sold 114 cars!
Here you go, Petey. $39.18.
Proof positive that honesty pays.
Pete, so long as the most honest man in Spoonerville
is on the job, you're off the hook.
See you bright and early tomorrow, Petey.
I never shoulda left the Army!
Waah!
[Pete] Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk.
Dis car? Gawrsh! Dis car's only worth $1.09.
Oops! Forgot that spot of rust.
Hyuk! $1.02.
And gawrsh! Oh, gawrsh!
Don't forget this bag of money you left in the back seat.
"The helmet of blind obedience
makes any mutt your slave?"
Heh-heh. Ain't life grand?
Goof, old buddy, old pal, you've done so well
that for the next hour you get to wear
the official crown of sales distinction.
Gawrsh. Thanks, Petey.
Well, gosh, oh, golly.
Would you look at that?
Tsk, tsk.
Some poor citizen left his wallet
in one of our cars.
Whatever shall we do?
We got to find the owner!
Like I always say, honesty is the best...
Finders keepers!
Finders keepers.
I'm in love!
$100,000?
What makes it worth that much?
Got me. Truth is this clunker's only worth--
a fib's worth 1,000 facts.
A fib's worth 1,000 facts.
Worth 200,000.
After all, that's what we gave Elvis
when he traded it in.
Elvis' car?
I'll take it.
Congratulations, sir. You made a wise purchase.
Now go out there and command the road.
When their back is turned, anything goes.
Nice job, Goof!
Thanks, Pete.
Hey, somebody dropped a penny.
Well, look at that. Now what do we do?
Why, we--
finders keepers.
Ah-hyuck! Finders keepers!
[laughing]
Finders keepers!
A fib is worth 1,000 facts.
When their back is turned,
anything goes, goes, goes...
All been sold out, and it isn't even noon!
Ha-ha! What sucker would suspect
the most honest man in Spoonerville been rippin 'em off?
Here's all the stuff
folks dropped in the car, Petey.
Leave it on the desk.
Nuh-uh.
What do you mean, nuh-uh?
Well, it's mine.
Finders keepers.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. You found, I keep.
That loot was on my lot, so it's mine, see?
Sorry. I found it, I'm keepin' it.
I don't even want it,
but for some reason I can't to give it up.
Oh, I'll give you a reason!
You got just two seconds--
well, lookie what else I found.
Ah-hyuck! Finders keepers.
Gimme that! It's mine!
Well, this is nice.
What? That's mine, too!
Look at this and this-- give that back! That's my--
and this and this here.
This is nice. Lookie here.
I found it. Finders keepers, you know.
Oh, lookie! Found this and this and this!
Stop that!
OK, OK!
You win.
Take it, you-- just leave me--
that's my car!
Ah-hyuck! Found it sittin' out back.
See ya after lunch!
Come back here!
[humming]
Hmm... Elvis' car.
Finders keepers!
Finders keepers.
That's right, Edna.
It's pink, of course.
And it may be my imagination,
but I swear there was sweat on the steering wheel.
And then I found a white thread on the driver's--
Aah!
[humming]
That's all I need. Try to make a dishonest living.
Next thing I know, I've gone and invented Goofenstein!
[muttering]
Stop the Goof. Oh!
Snookums! I take back most of the things I said about you
because the paper is just full
of how Goofy's put the honesty back in honest Pete's.
And I'm so proud of you that I can--
punkin seed, I hate to get personal
during your lunch hour,
but why aren't you wearing any pants?
Well, now let's see the Goof swipe this.
Hiya, Petey. Ah-hyuck!
Where did these cars come from!
Well, that one was parked in front of city hall,
that one was in back of the police station,
that one was just sitting in front of the bank
with the engine running.
Just all sort of sitting there, and I thought...
Well, finders keepers.
You didn't. You didn't.
You did.
But nobody will believe the most honest man in Spoonerville
is a car thief. They'll blame me!
We gotta put 'em all back before-- aah!
Sorry! Can't let anybody on the lot!
Got a big oil spill. Very slippery.
Oh. Did I mention plague? Yeah, tse tse flies.
Heebie-jeebies, runny noses, horrible.
You don't want to be here.
Yes, I do.
What's my patrol car doing here?
[Pete] Your car? Here? Gee--
I-- I can explain. It's here...
Here for a free oil change.
Yeah. Well, I'll just check that statement out
with the most honest man in Spoonerville.
Is that right, Goof?
Well...
A fib's worth 1,000 facts.
Well, Chief, Pete's not exactly tellin' the truth.
Ah-ha!
It's really here for an oil change,
free set of plugs, and a free wash.
Free plugs? A wash, you say?
Well, OK, but make it snappy.
Whew! Yes, sir, your chiefologist.
O.K., Petey, don't panic.
Quick oil change and a wash, and he's out of here.
[crash]
You know, this car looks sort of familiar.
When their back's turned, anything goes.
Polishin' it for you, Chiefy.
Never mind that. Finish my car.
Yes, Sir!
That Goof's gonna land me in the slammer yet.
Gimme those! What do you think you're doin'?
They're mine. They're not yours!
Finders keepers. I'll find you--
-Gimme them! -Get your mitts offa that!
-Hey! -Here. I was just...
Freshening the crease?
Just finish the car!
I don't need my buttons buffed
or my cufflinks laundered.
What's he trying to do, starting a fashion trend?
[mumbling]
What's my car doing on your lot?
Um... it's a busted light bulb filament,
bad brake pedal, very dangerous.
Got it right here. Fix it for you for free.
Courtesy of Honest Pete's used cars, oh, yeah.
Isn't my car ready yet?
Comin' right up!
-Howdy, Mayor. Nice hat. -Thanks. Fine.
Aah!
Nice cane, too.
Gimme that!
I beg your pardon!
Great tie.
Let me have that!
That's my cane!
Look what I found.
-That's my hat! -Gimme that!
Attention all cars!
Be on the lookout for an armoured car
stolen from the Spoonerville bank parking lot.
[panting]
Where's my car?
It's all ready for you, right over--
-Aah! -[humming]
Just rotatin' the tires.
I presume my car's been repaired?
Yeah, yeah, it's all fixed. Here.
Hey! Won't start!
Have you goin' in a jiffy.
Aah!
♪ Doo doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Finders keepers ♪
Minor problem.
Fix it in two shakes.
Not so fast.
♪ Hmm-hmm-hmm, finders keepers ♪
♪ Losers weepers ♪
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ho.
Aah!
Get me down from here!
What is that doin' here?
-I found it. -You found it?
No! What he means to say is--
there's a million bucks in that truck.
Anybody else would've kept it,
but you, ha, what an honest citizen. Here.
[muttering] My eyes gotta be lyin' to me.
I can't stand it. I'm going crazy! Aah!
Yes, Sir. We'll just get it to the bank and--
Oh, I'm not giving it b--
[muffled]
Excuse us.
Obviously, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
in the head of a Goof.
Honesty is the best policy.
Honesty's the best policy.
Honesty's... the best policy?
Yes!
[man] There's my car!
Hey! What's going on?
[shouting]
All right, all right.
Now what's the problem here?
Oh, that's the car I bought this morning!
And Elvis' car!
That's my car! That car's mine!
[shouting]
Wait a minute! I can explain!
More free car washes, Pete?
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Whew!
Thanks, Petey!
Oh, I'm too tired to kill you now, Goof.
I'm broke. I got no cars left to sell.
In fact, all I got left
is this lousy 20 I conned you out of yesterday.
Either one of you the owner of this $20 bill?
Yeah!
It's mine, see?
Mine! M-y-n! And nobody's taking it from me!
Treasury department. That bill's counterfeit.
It's his! He found it!
Never saw it before in my life.
It's all the Goof's!
That correct, Goof?
Honesty's the best policy.
Yep. I found it.
[laughing]
See ya in 20 years, Goof.
Ah-ah. We'll take that.
First counterfeit bill ever made.
Stolen from federal vault.
Big reward for whoever found it.
Gawrsh! Thanks!
Medal from the President. Good work, Goof.
Ah, but had it right in-- [babbling]
My favorite hand! I could've had it!
It was I-- but he-- but-- but it was--
Aah!
Soon as you get more cars to sell, give me a call! Ah-hyuck!
See ya, Petey.
Uh-huck. See ya, Petey!
Aah!
[laughing maniacally]
Aaah!
♪ Gimme a beat ♪
[theme music playing]
Yeah!