♪♪
AH-HYUCK.
♪ H-H-H-HIT IT ♪
♪ LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪
♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE ♪ YES!
♪ BEST BUDDIES, BEST PALS ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪
♪ CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪
♪ LOOKIN' FOR A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪
WHAA-OOO-HO-HO!
♪ A REAL GOOD TIME ♪
♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
♪ ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪
♪ SIDE BY SIDE WHEREVER WE GO ♪
♪ WE'RE ALWAYS READY TO ROLL ♪
♪ NOW GIMME A BEAT ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ AND WE ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
GAWRSH. ♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE CALLING EVERYONE ♪
♪ COME ALONG AND JOIN THE FUN ♪
♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ LA DO BE DA BOP LA BA DO BOP ♪
YEAH!
[PISTOL] SAVE THAT POOR KITTY, PJ!
DON'T LET HIM ALL ALONE DIE IN THAT TREE!
PLEASE-- NO!
DON'T LOOK DOWN!
YAH!
IF YOU DO, YOU'LL FALL AND SQUASH YOUR BRAINS
AND BE GOOSHED INTO A BAG OF BONE CHIPS,
AND THEY'LL ONLY KNOW IT'S YOU
BECAUSE OF THAT BUSTED TOOTH WAY IN THE BACK.
WH-WH-WH-WHOA!
WHAA-OOH-OOH-OOH!
HI, DAD.
HA HA. Y'KNOW, SON,
IF SOMEBODY DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
THEY MIGHT THINK, JUST FOR A MINUTE THERE, MIND YOU,
THAT YOU WERE SORTA-- OH, I DON'T KNOW--
SCARED OF HEIGHTS?
WHAT, ME? DUMB IDEA.
SCARED OF HEIGHTS? NAH.
JUST A LOCALIZED EARTH TREMOR.
GOTCHA.
EPICENTER RIGHT UNDER MY FEET.
OF COURSE. FEEL THAT?
THERE IT GOES AGAIN, DAD.
HOW ABOUT THAT MOTHER NATURE?
ME, SCARED OF HEIGHTS. HA!
OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
[LAUGHING]
OH, MAN.
YEAH. WELL, I KNEW YOU'RE NOT, SON.
OF COURSE, IF YOU WERE,
YOU'D NEVER BE ABLE TO WIN FANCY MEDALS
LIKE, SAY, THIS ONE.
ANOTHER ONE!
YOU GONNA FLY ACROSS THE GRAND CANYON
IN A ROCKET SUIT AGAIN?
NAH. IT'S THE ONE I GOT
FOR SKIING DOWN MOUNT EVEREST
CARRYIN' THE SNOW-BLINDED SHERPA.
THE TIME WHEN THE SLIGHTEST MISSTEP
WOULDA SENT YA PLUMMETING 85,000 FEET
TO CRASH ON THE ICY ROCKS BELOW?
YEP. NO BIG DEAL.
I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME.
UH-OH. LATE FOR MY PRESS CONFERENCE.
SEE YOU LATER, SON.
AND THAT'S WHY THEY AWARDED ME THIS MEDAL.
JUST AS I LED THE SNOW-BLINDED SHERPA
THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS OF OKLAHOMA,
I'LL LEAD YOU TO NEW HEIGHTS
OF CAR-BUYING SATISFACTION.
SO COME ON DOWN TO HONEST PETE'S USED CARS,
WHERE THE SODA POP'S ALWAYS COLD
AND THE DEALS ARE ALWAYS--
HERE'S THE REST OF THEM FAKE MEDALS
YOU ORDERED, MR. PETE.
[GASP] FAKE MEDALS? WHAT A SCAM!
HA HA! HE MEANS BRAKE PEDALS. YEAH.
YER TRANSMISSION'S SLIPPIN' ON YOU, POP.
OOPS!
OH! HEY. AH, MAN!
HERO, EH? SHAME ON YOU!
LYING TO PEOPLE WITH THESE MADE-UP STORIES.
OOH! QUIT-- TAKING ADVANTAGE!
YA WANTED TO SHOW ME SOMETHING, DAD?
OH, PJ, MY BOY.
COME SEE YOUR OLD MAN'S LATEST CREATION.
I CALL IT "THE WALL OF PETES".
THE HISTORY OF THE FAMILY TREE,
OF WHICH YOU ARE THE LATEST BRANCH.
GO AHEAD. PUSH THAT BUTTON UNDER YER GREAT-GRANDPA.
WHOA!
WHATTA HERO!
THE ONLY MAN TO DIVE 800 FEET
INTO DEVIL'S GORGE.
[PETE] 'FRAID OF HEIGHTS? HO HO! NOT HIM!
WWHHOOOOAAA-HO-HO-HO-HO!
[THUD]
AFTER THAT PROUD DISPLAY,
AERIAL DAREDEVILRY JUST SORTA BECAME
A PETE FAMILY TRADITION.
WHY, MY OWN DAD SET A NEW WORLD'S RECORD
IN THE ROOFTOP 500.
[ALARM, SIREN BLARING]
[POLICE] ALL RIGHT, STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!
THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S--AHEM--MY SECTION.
WOW! DAD, THAT'S YOU!
SHAKIN' HANDS WITH THE PRESIDENT!
OH, YEAH. HEH HEH. GAVE ME THE MEDAL OF HONOR
FOR FLYIN' AROUND THE WORLD
IN THE FIRST STEAM-DRIVEN AIRPLANE.
EVERYTHING WAS GOING FINE TILL I RAN OUTTA FUEL.
HAD TO SKYDIVE TO SAFETY.
[PJ] NO KIDDIN'.
THREE GENERATIONS OF PETES
CLIMBING TO THE VERY HEIGHTS OF GREATNESS
IN THE SKIES, ABOVE THE LAND,
OVER THE SEA, IN THE--
COOL! WHAT'S IN MY SECTION?
DON'T PUSH THAT!
UH, I'M JUST STORIN' A FEW THINGS IN THERE
TILL YOU GET SOME TROPHIES OF YOUR OWN, SON.
YEAH, WELL, AT MY RATE,
YOU COULD USE IT TO STORE NUCLEAR WASTE.
OH, NOW, NOW. YOU'LL GET THERE.
COURAGE TAKES A LITTLE LONGER TO BLOOM IN SOME PEOPLE.
I'LL NEVER LIVE TO SEE IT, OF COURSE,
BUT YOUR CHILDREN MIGHT,
OR THEIR CHILDREN,
OR THEIR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN'S CHILDREN'S CHILDREN.
AND GREAT-GRANDPA DOVE OUT OF AN AIRPLANE
ONTO A HORSE AT THE BOTTOM OF DEVIL'S CANYON.
WOW. I'LL BET YOU COULD CROSS
THIS RICKETY OLD BRIDGE BLINDFOLDED.
YAH!
I'M LOSIN' IT, MAX!
HELP ME! HELP ME, MAX!
WAAAH!
HEY, YOU WERE RIGHT, MAX.
I CAN CROSS THIS BRIDGE BLINDFOLDED.
WELL, THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
OHH, I'LL TELL YOU, MAX,
MY DAD'S GOT MORE HERO TROPHIES
THAN MY DOG'S GOT FLEAS.
I MEAN, I'M JUST A STAIN ON THE GOOD NAME OF PETE.
PJ!
THE FIRST PETE IN HISTORY TO BE SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
YEAH, BUT--BUT, PJ...
DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, MAN.
I AM SO SCARED OF HEIGHTS,
I USED TO GET A NOSEBLEED IN MY HIGHCHAIR.
PEEJ...
HEY, I FAINT ON ESCALATORS.
PEEJ! WHAT?
[ALARM] THAT!
YOU SCALE MORE HEIGHTS EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL
THAN ALL YOUR ANCESTORS PUT TOGETHER.
BIG WHOOP.
VERTIGO VERNON IS IS ONLY A GAME.
RIGHT, AND THAT'S ONLY A TROPHY.
YEAH, FOR THE INTERNATIONAL VERTIGO VERNON VERT-A-THON.
I MEAN, THEY ONLY AWARD THAT TROPHY TO THE BEST.
YOU ARE THE BEST! YOU CAN WIN IT, PEEJ.
THINK OF WHAT YOUR DAD WILL SAY
IF YOU PUT THAT ON HIS WALL OF PETES.
YEAH!
[TV REPORTER] AND SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE'VE REACHED THE FINAL ROUND
OF THE INTERNATIONAL VERTIGO VERNON VERT-A-THON.
IT'S DOWN TO TWO CONTESTANTS WITH THE SCORE TIED
BETWEEN "PRINCE OF PRECIPICE" PJ
AND THE REIGNING INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION
"FLYING FIST" FREDDIE.
UNBEKNOWNST TO BOTH OF OUR CONTESTANTS,
THE FINAL ROUND WILL BE PLAYED
ON THESE STATE-OF-THE-ART VIDEO REALITY RACKS.
WITH THESE SPECIAL HELMETS, OUR HEROES WILL SWEAR
THEY REALLY ARE SWINGING ON TRAPEZES,
JUMPING OUT OF AIRPLANES,
AND TIGHTROPE WALKING
10,000 FEET ABOVE BOTTOMLESS GORGE.
[GULP] WE WILL?
MAX, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.
AH, IT'LL BE COOL, DUDE.
JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF "IT'S ONLY A GAME.
IT'S ONLY A GAME."
[PJ] YEAH, O.K. IT'S ONLY A GAME.
IT'S ONLY A G-G-G-GAAAAMMMMEE!
YAAAAAH! WHA-HA-HA-HO!
WOW-HA-HA-HO-HO!
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
AAAAHH!
MAX! MAX!
I WAS THERE, MAX--
HIGH IN THE AIR-- AND I FELL AND--AND--
CHILL, DUDE. IT'S JUST AN ILLUSION.
LOOK!
LOOK! HE'S ALREADY RACKIN' UP POINTS.
IF YOU WANT THAT TROPHY, DUDE,
GET YOUR BOD BACK ON LINE!
[WHIMPERING]
[MAX] IT'S ONLY A GAME.
[PJ] IT'S ONLY A GAME. IT'S ONLY A GAME.
YES! GO, PEEJ, GO!
WAY TO GO, PEEJ!
ALL RIGHT! THAT'S MY BUD!
LOOK AT HIM GO! LOOK AT THAT WRIST ACTION!
COME ON, PEEJ!
ALL RIGHT, DUDE! WAY TO GO! O.K.!
THAT'S IT! ALL RIGHT!
WAY TO GO, PEEJ!
[FREDDIE] GIVE IT UP, KID.
WHA-AAH-AAH!
PEEJ, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
ONE MORE POINT AND YOU GOT HIM! GO! GO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[MAX WHISTLES]
ALL RIGHT, PJ! WHOOO!
WAY TO GO, DUDE!
DADDY, DADDY, DADDY! COME QUICK! PJ'S ON TV!
OH, HE DIDN'T GET HIS HEAD STUCK
IN A CANDY MACHINE AGAIN, DID HE?
NO! HE JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE
AND CLIMBED UP A BUILDING
AND RODE ON A ONE-WHEEL BIKE ON A ROPE AND--
HE WHAT?
WELL, CHAMP, NOT ONLY DID YOU WIN THE TROPHY,
BUT YOU SAVED FREDDIE. TRULY A HERO, FOLKS.
SO WHAT WAS THE SCARIEST PART?
WELL, I'D SAY IT WAS THE TIGHTROPE WALKING, YOU KNOW,
BUT THE SKYDIVING
PROVIDED SOME REAL THRILLS, TOO.
MY KID...A HERO.
A REAL...HERO.
♪ FOR HE'S A REALLY BRAVE FELLOW ♪
♪ WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY ♪
♪ HE'S JUST LIKE HIS OLD MAN ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A REALLY BRAVE-- ♪
YEAH, WHATEVER.
[MAX] YAY, PJ! [GOOFY, MAX, PISTOL CHEER]
AND NOW, PJ, AS A REAL SON OF A PETE,
IT'S TIME TO LET YOU IN ON THE TRUE MEANING
OF ALL THIS DAREDEVIL STUFF--
NAMELY, HOW TO USE IT TO TURN A BUCK.
HUH?
[PANTING]
[RING]
GOOF RRRESIDENCE.
MAX, YA GOTTA GET ME OUT OF HERE!
HERE WHERE?
I'M AT THE AIRPORT.
BUNCHA GUYS BEEN TEACHING ME
ABOUT PARACHUTES AND RIP CORDS AND STUFF.
MAX, I KNOW IT SOUNDS WACKED, BUT
I THINK MY DAD'S GONNA TAKE ME ON A RIDE--
[GULP]--IN AN AIRPLANE!
COOL! HE MUST BE REALLY PROUD OF YOU!
HEY, WHILE YOU'RE UP THERE,
GET HIM TO RAISE YOUR ALLOWANCE.
WHAT? I CAN'T GO ON AN AIRPLANE!
DAD'LL FIND OUT THAT I'M SCARED OF HEI--
THERE'S MY LITTLE HERO!
PJ? HELLO?
YAAAAHH!
[PETE] EXCITED, HUH? ME, TOO!
CAN'T TELL YOU HOW PROUD THIS MAKES ME, SON!
YEAH, UH-HUH. DAD? I--WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS--
TUT-TUT, NO NEED TO THANK ME.
HEY-HEY-EEEE-OOOH! LONG WAY DOWN.
BUT, UH, THAT FIRST STEP'S NOTHIN' TO A HERO LIKE YOU.
DAD! YOU OPENED THE DOOR!
SURE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
THE EVENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
MY SON,
THE FAMOUS HERO,
WILL PARACHUTE 10,000 FEET
INTO A LATE-MODEL DURANGO WHIPPET,
COURTESY OF PETE'S USED CARS.
NOW REMEMBER TO SPRINKLE THESE ADVERTISING LEAFLETS
ON YOUR WAY DOWN,
AND DON'T WASTE ANY ON PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DRIVE.
I'M JUMPING OUT OF A PERFECTLY GOOD AIRPLANE!
YEAH, KINDA REMINDS ME OF MY HERO DAYS.
GREAT, DAD! THEN HOW ABOUT YOU BE THE ONE TO JUMP?
ME? NO! I MEAN,
I WOULDN'T WANT TO SWIPE THE GLORY FROM YOU!
HEY, WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS!
NO, I REALLY COULDN'T!
YOU GO! NO, YOU GO!
I INSIST. WOULDN'T THINK OF IT.
YOU'RE BETTER AT THIS THAN I AM.
YOU NEED TO PRACTICE. GOT A BLOODY NOSE.
MY LUMBAGO'S ACTING UP.
OOOH-OH-OH-OH...
AAAAHH-OOOOHH!
DAD!
IT'S ONLY A GAME! IT'S ONLY A GAME!
HUH? IT WORKED.
[CHEERING]
[AIRPLANE DIVING]
[SHOUTING]
I GOTCHA, DAD!
I-I GOTCHA!
[PETE BABBLING]
MAMA!
WHHAAAOOOOHH-HO-HO!
AH! OH! AH! OH!
[BOING]
WHEW!
CRASHING INTO A LADY'S TENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!
WAKING ME UP FROM MY NAP!
WHAT ARE YOU-- COME OUT HERE FOR THE PEACE AND QUIET,
AND WHAT DO I GET? LADY, OW!
THAT WAS PATHETIC! BUT--
THE WORST DISPLAY OF SKYDIVING SHOWMANSHIP
I HAVE EVER SEEN! YEAH, BUT--
ANYBODY WOULD THINK
YOU'D NEVER JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE BEFORE!
BUT I HAVEN'T!
WHAT?
THEN, WHAT'S THAT?
I WON IT FOR A VIDEO GAME, DAD!
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW! IT WAS JUST A GAME.
MY OWN SON'S HERO TROPHY...A FAKE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I--I BEEN CONNED BY MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!
NO, DAD, WAIT!
WHERE DO THE KIDS LEARN THIS STUFF ANYWAY?
DAD!
MUSTA GOT IT FROM HIS MOTHER.
GRRRRR!
[CLANG]
I'M JUST AN EAGLE WITH CARDBOARD WINGS, MAX.
A FRAUD.
THE FIRST PETE TO GET WOOZY STANDING ON HIS TIPTOES.
PEEJ, WHAT WEARS FOUR PILLOWS,
A FOOTBALL HELMET, AND EATS LIGHT BULBS?
AH...I DON'T KNOW. WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW, EITHER, BUT THERE'S ONE NOW.
DAD!
D-D-DON'T LOOK DOWN.
JUST DON'T LOOK DOWN.
YEE-EE-EE-EE!
GIK-GIK-GIK-GIK!
HE MUST BE TRYING TO GET MOM TO DECLARE HIM BONKERS
FOR THE INSURANCE MONEY AGAIN.
I DON'T THINK SO, PEEJ.
DON'T YOU KNOW TERROR WHEN YOU SEE IT?
AH-AH-AH-AAAAHH!
WHOA!
I SAW IT, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
HIM, AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?
PJ, THERE'S SOMETHING WE OUGHTA CHECK OUT.
COME ON.
BUT HE CAN'T BE SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
I MEAN, HE SKIED UP MOUNT EVEREST BLINDFOLDED
CARRYING A SHERBET!
HE'S GOT THE MEDALS TO PROVE IT.
"WEEBEE JOKES AND NOVELTY COMPANY,
PASSAIC, NEW JERSEY"?
IT'S A FAKE!
YEAH. AND CHECK THIS OUT.
PHONY AS THE BLOOD IN A MUTILATOR MOVIE.
WHOA!
ALL THIS FAKERY JUST TO HIDE
THAT HE'S MORE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS THAN YOU ARE.
PRETTY PATHETIC, HUH, PEEJ? PEEJ?
GRRR!
EASY, PEEJ.
EASY. COME ON, MAN.
PEEJ? DOWN, BOY.
PJ, NO!
[BELLS, SIRENS]
OF COURSE I WANT TO TEACH MY DAD A LESSON,
BUT ARE YOU SURE THIS IS SAFE?
SURE. THE BALLOON'S TIED DOWN.
THE MATTRESSES ARE 3 FEET THICK.
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
I'LL COUNT THE POSSIBILITIES.
1--EVERYTHING. THAT'S IT. I'M DOWN.
YOU JUST HANG LOOSE WHILE I PUT THIS PLAN IN MOTION.
DRIVE THAT RIG AROUND BACK WHEN YOU'RE DONE, GOOF.
HEY! MR. P! COME QUICK!
YOU'VE GOT TO SAVE PJ BEFORE HE SPLATS HIMSELF!
OH, NO! HELP ME, DAD!
PJ? WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?
OH, IT WAS A PUBLICITY STUNT FOR THE CAR LOT
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,
BUT I'M JUST NOT THE AERIAL DAREDEVIL YOU ARE, DAD!
GET ME DOWN, PLEASE?
GUH-YEE-BA-BA!
W-W-W-WHY DON'T YOU JUST, UH,
C-CLIMB DOWN TO ME, SON?
CAN'T YOU SEE, MR. P? HE'S FROZEN WITH FEAR.
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO UP AND SAVE HIM.
M-M-ME?
WELL, HE IS YOUR KID, MR. P.
I MEAN--HEH--
WHAT WOULD PEOPLE SAY?
HEE-HOO-OOH-EEH-OOH!
OOOOHH!
[KNEES CHATTERING]
HURRY, DAD!
OR I AM A GONER!
[CHATTERING]
I CAN'T DO IT!
WHAT'S THE MATTER, DAD?
DON'T YA WANNA SAVE ME?
OF COURSE I DO!
IT'S JUST THAT I...WELL...
I CAN'T COME UP AND GET YOU BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!
[BLUBBERING]
YOU'RE JIVIN' ME!
IT'S TRUE!
I GET DIZZY STANDIN' ON MY OWN SHADOW!
ALL US PETES DO!
BUT GOSH, WHAT ABOUT THOSE TROPHIES AND MEDALS
IN THE WALL OF PETES, DAD?
THE WALL OF PETES IS JUST A BIG PILE OF...
HORSE FEATHERS!
[BAWLING]
GOLLY!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT GREAT-GRANDPA PETE WAS--
WAS SCARED OF HEIGHTS, TOO!
YEOW!
[PJ] YOU DON'T SAY.
MM-MM-MM.
[GASP] AND WHAT ABOUT GRANDPA PETE?
[BLUBBERING]
HE WAS WORSE THAN GREAT-GRANDPA!
[ALARMS, SIRENS BLARING]
WELL, GOLLY, GEE WHIZ-A-MUNDO!
THEN [GASP] THAT WOULD MAKE YOU...
AAH!
MORE CHICKEN THAN BOTH OF 'EM!
THE ONLY REAL TROPHY WAS...
[SOBS]
YOURS!
[THUNDER]
HURRY UP, SON!
THERE'S A STORM READY TO BUST LOOSE!
O.K., DAD.
[GASPING]
MAX! WE MAY HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE!
HELP!
PJ!
[HORN HONKS]
HERE'S THE TRUCK, PETEY.
WHOA!
IT'S ONLY A G-G-GAME, ONLY A G-GAME!
HANG ON, SON!
DADDY'S COMIN'!
THERE HE GOES!
OVER THAT WAY, POP!
GAWRSH! WISH HE'D MAKE UP HIS MIND.
[GRUNTING]
HELP!
[PETE BABBLING]
AAH-HOO-HOO-HOO!
I SEE HIM! AH-HYUCK!
I SEE HIM!
HELP!
[PJ] DAD!
HELP!
I'M COMIN', PJ!
HANG ON, BOY!
DAD!
OOOH!
[BOTH] WHEW!
[BOTH] YAH!
AH-HYUCK! ARE YOU FELLAS SURE
YOU DON'T WANT A RIDE BACK TO TOWN?
PLENTY OF ROOM IN THE BUCKET.
WE'RE SURE. DITTO.
O.K. SO LONG! LATER, PEEJ.
YOU READY TO GO, SON?
HEY, READY WHEN YOU ARE, DAD.
GIMME THAT OLD TERRA FIRMA.
THE MORE FIRMA, THE LESS TERRA.
I HEARD THAT.
YOU KNOW, A MAN SHOULD KEEP
BOTH FEET AND HANDS ON THE GROUND.
NEVER HURTS TO STAY CLOSE TO MOTHER EARTH. NO, SIREE.
WE'RE A GOOD 20 FEET AWAY FROM THAT CLIFF.
PLENTY SAFE.
KEEP YOUR EAR TO THE GROUND.
THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY.
REMEMBER YOUR ROOTS.