1
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:02,750
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:09,958
(GROWLING)

3
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,208
(SNARLS)

4
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,625
(SNARLS)

5
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,416
No! No!

6
00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,083
(SCREAMS)

7
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:06,625
Domo!

8
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,875
You ranted, sir?

9
00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,333
(MOJO CRYING)

10
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:14,000
I'm ruined! Ratings are off.

11
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,250
Video's in the toilet.

12
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,708
My sponsors
want to deep-fry me!

13
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:24,875
And your action figures
aren't selling!

14
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:27,458
You designed the show.
So change it.

15
00:02:27,958 --> 00:02:29,000
(SCOFFS)

16
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,875
Change it? You cold sore!

17
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,583
Just try replacing me!

18
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:40,458
You've abused every
decent actor in the galaxy.

19
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:43,416
You're a soulless,
sadistic bag of pus,

20
00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:45,875
and you smell!

21
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,583
(EXCLAIMS)

22
00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:49,250
Flattery, young man,

23
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:52,000
will get you
absolutely nowhere!

24
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,625
(LAUGHING)

25
00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,250
You little vermin!

26
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,000
(BARKING) You're all dog meat!
Look at this.

27
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,708
(GRUNTS)

28
00:02:59,708 --> 00:03:02,375
See this nose hair?
It can act better than you!

29
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:06,000
Actually, if I hold it up to
the light, it looks like you,
in a tuxedo!

30
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,458
He had a point, O Bulbous One.

31
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,291
What do you mean?

32
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,000
(STOMACH GROWLING)

33
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,000
(BELCHES)

34
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,416
Tell me we have a replacement.

35
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:27,416
(BELCHES)

36
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,250
Tell me, please!

37
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:34,583
Nothing proven,
Most Congealed Master.

38
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,875
The X-Men. A bit primitive,

39
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:45,000
and from a backwater dimension
we don't usually bother with.

40
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,583
Do I look like a man that cares?

41
00:03:47,583 --> 00:03:49,000
(MOJO SPITS)

42
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,833
I don't care! Get them!

43
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:54,000
Mojo can make a star
out of anyone!

44
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:58,166
Instantaneous test numbers
are good in all dimensions,

45
00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,000
O Potentate of Programming.

46
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:04,583
The passion! The drama!

47
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,000
(MOJO WHOOPING)

48
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,000
(LAUGHING)
And we can get them cheap!

49
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,458
I'm making
money just standing

50
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,083
here thinking about it!
Am I standing?

51
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:14,416
You may have done it again.

52
00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:18,083
Of course I have! I am a genius!

53
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:21,083
Get Mojo the X-Men!

54
00:04:23,958 --> 00:04:25,625
(MOJO LAUGHING)

55
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:29,833
This is the finest television
available today.

56
00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:32,958
Digital everything.
1,300 scan lines.

57
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,000
Does it have a built-in
surge protector?

58
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,375
Our last television
met with an unfortunate
accident.

59
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:43,000
-Accident? I don't understand.
-You'd have to know Jubilee.

60
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,625
She won't have any trouble
with our new remote control.

61
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:48,958
Uh-uh.

62
00:04:48,958 --> 00:04:51,875
-Don't touch that dial!
-That's odd.

63
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,208
(LAUGHS) Hey, I warned you!

64
00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:56,083
(SALES CLERK GROANS)

65
00:04:57,458 --> 00:05:00,583
Nobody tunes out Mojovision!

66
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,458
CYCLOPS:
Who are you? What do you want?

67
00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,291
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)

68
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,583
Let's not get off
on the wrong foot, bubby.

69
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,083
(MOJO LAUGHING)

70
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,083
Can we talk?

71
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,250
I've had my eye on your career.
Forceful, heroic.

72
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,083
(BELCHES) Loved what you did
with the Sentinels!
Star potential!

73
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:21,291
Sorry, it must have been
the producer I had for lunch.

74
00:05:21,291 --> 00:05:22,875
I mean, the thing
with the eye blasts.

75
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,583
Talk about your x-ray specs,

76
00:05:24,583 --> 00:05:27,208
baby, you'll knock them dead!

77
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:30,250
Who are you?
Is this some kind of sick joke?

78
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:34,083
Cyclops, sweetheart!

79
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:39,125
I'm offering you X-Men
a lifetime contract!

80
00:05:39,125 --> 00:05:40,875
With the standard
non-survival clauses.

81
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,000
Don't worry,
it's just a formality.

82
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,875
I'm still not sure what
you're selling, pal,
but we're leaving.

83
00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:47,583
A rejection!

84
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:51,958
Well, well,
I should have known better

85
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:53,458
than to try to help out some

86
00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:56,125
ungrateful amateur act
from a...

87
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,875
from a dirt-bag dimension
like yours!

88
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:02,125
Who do you think you are?
You're nothing! A nobody!

89
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:06,125
And nobody says "No" to Mojo!

90
00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:09,000
(BOTH GROANING)

91
00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:11,708
(MOJO LAUGHING)

92
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:16,125
Listen up, one-eye.

93
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:19,166
I make the program decisions
around here!

94
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,000
(MOJO LAUGHING)

95
00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:30,958
(CYCLOPS GROANS)

96
00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:37,166
JEAN: Stop it!
He can't survive much more!

97
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,166
Oh... tell it to a lawyer.

98
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:42,583
Do I interfere
in your contract negotiations?

99
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:45,166
Like I need some
two-bit supporting actress

100
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:47,708
telling me how to
run my business!

101
00:06:52,708 --> 00:06:55,166
What is this?
The Fourth of July?

102
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,458
Scott! Are you all right?

103
00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:02,291
(GASPS) Now that's what I call
entertainment! Spiral!

104
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:05,958
Would you show our cast
to the studio
and call wardrobe?

105
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,583
They look like they dressed out
of a dumpster!

106
00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:09,208
(LAUGHING) I mean, really.

107
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,875
Excuse me one moment,
would you, please?

108
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:16,208
The auditions are closed.

109
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:18,291
Time to report to the set.

110
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:26,208
(WOLVERINE GROWLING)

111
00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:27,250
Jean!

112
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,166
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)

113
00:08:04,166 --> 00:08:05,875
MOJO: What an entrance!

114
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:09,291
Can you hear that applause?
They love you guys!

115
00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:12,583
Stick with me and you,
X-Men, will be stars.

116
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:16,208
Not like that ungrateful
has-been...

117
00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:21,416
-What's his name?
-Longshot, O Depraved Omelet.

118
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,875
MOJO: Longshot.

119
00:08:22,875 --> 00:08:24,458
(MOJO SPITS)

120
00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:27,166
He'll never eat lunch
in this universe again!

121
00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:30,500
He's gone, he's history,
he's jet fumes.

122
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:34,458
DOMO: He is forgotten,
O Corrupter of Crania.

123
00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:38,166
You've got about 10 seconds
to send us back!

124
00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:43,250
Excuse me,
are you threatening me?

125
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,000
(ALL LAUGHING)

126
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,958
Hey, hey, hey,
this isn't a comedy!

127
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,708
If you can't keep
your lines straight,

128
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:51,583
I can write you out
of the first act!

129
00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:53,291
Power tends to corrupt,

130
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:56,875
and absolute power
corrupts absolutely,

131
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,708
as seems evident.

132
00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:01,166
Hey, furball,
you had all your shots?

133
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:05,958
And what, pray tell, are you
X-Men going to give this

134
00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:08,583
mind-numbed bunch
of couch potatoes

135
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:10,166
and the trillions
watching at home?

136
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:11,708
What do they want to see?

137
00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:14,958
Peace? Freedom?

138
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,958
(LAUGHING) Maybe good
government?

139
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:24,208
They want blood and guts
and love and hate.

140
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:27,458
They want entertainment!

141
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:31,208
You give them action!
Action! Action!

142
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:32,708
(WHISTLES)

143
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:34,333
(SCREAMING)

144
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:35,708
(MIMICS GUN FIRING)

145
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,583
The X-Men don't fight
without a reason!

146
00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:45,166
Violence and destruction
are not forms of amusement.

147
00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:46,875
(EXCLAIMS)

148
00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:51,083
Trust me,
O My Performing Cattle,
they are!

149
00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:53,416
And if ratings don't go up
with every show,

150
00:09:53,416 --> 00:09:58,333
I'll cancel the series
and its performers permanently!

151
00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:03,250
Control room, it's showtime!

152
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,416
-What happened to Storm?
-Scott!

153
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:31,083
-How did we get out here?
-I think we can thank our
friend Mojo.

154
00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:33,291
(EXPLOSIONS)

155
00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:37,583
-Where did that come from?
-Over there!

156
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:45,291
-Torpedo!
-This one's mine.

157
00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:59,208
Now to give them the slip.

158
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,583
(MOJO EXCLAIMING)

159
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,333
(MOJO LAUGHING)

160
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,583
We can't outrun those!

161
00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:21,250
STORM: I shall deal
with the airborne threat!

162
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:30,583
Wind and water, whirl and rage!

163
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,250
MOJO: Bravo! Bravo!

164
00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:54,583
(GROANS)

165
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,833
Cyclops! We must abandon ship!

166
00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:07,708
(LAUGHING) Now that's what I
call a slam-bang ending!

167
00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:09,291
(CROWD CHEERING)

168
00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:18,333
(CROWD CHEERING)

169
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:23,083
Listen to that
audience response!

170
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:27,625
I'm getting numbers here
that mathematician
have never heard of.

171
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:31,083
The ratings are going through
the roof!

172
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:34,416
(GROANING)

173
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:38,833
I may have to let them live.

174
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,333
JEAN: You're sick!

175
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,000
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)

176
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,000
Scott and Storm are human
beings!

177
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,083
You can't destroy them,
just to keep people amused!

178
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,416
Do I look like a man that cares?

179
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:56,208
Hey, control room,
bring up show number two.

180
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,000
Control room.

181
00:12:58,458 --> 00:13:00,583
MOJO: Control room!

182
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:03,458
We've got to get somebody to
help with the filing.

183
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,125
Where's Rogue?

184
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:19,708
MOJO: Out of the blackness
of space comes...

185
00:13:20,291 --> 00:13:23,083
Rogue Star!

186
00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:32,625
MOJO: I tell you, this gal,
Rogue, is big!

187
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:36,000
Every kid in your dimension
will give her right arm

188
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,625
for a pair of Rogue gloves!

189
00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:40,125
What's going on, Beast?

190
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,708
ROGUE:
Looks like old blubber guts

191
00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:46,000
stuck us in
some high-tech shooting gallery.

192
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:55,750
Oh, dear.

193
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,000
Deft maneuver, my dear.
But a bit breathtaking.

194
00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:08,208
We may be outgunned.
But this little honey
sure can handle.

195
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:13,083
MOJO: Oh! Stupendous!

196
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:16,625
(BEAST SCREAMS)

197
00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:25,083
(SCREECHING)

198
00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:27,125
We are stable,

199
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:30,875
but I fear our course
is taking us into the sun!

200
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,708
Dang-blasted thing won't turn!

201
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,583
-Hey!
-Rogue!

202
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:41,250
Unhand her,
you repulsive reptilians!

203
00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:56,125
(GRUNTING)

204
00:14:58,958 --> 00:15:00,375
(BEAST SCREAMING)

205
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:09,458
Beast! Beast! Beast!

206
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:14,750
MOJO: Ooh... that's colossal!

207
00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:16,958
(MOJO MIMICS EXPLOSION)

208
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,333
(EXCLAIMS)

209
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,875
I give it two flippers up.

210
00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,125
Next!

211
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:43,333
And now it's Wolverine,
starring in...

212
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,166
I Dream of Jean!

213
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,583
Let's give it up.
Push that applause button,
Spiral.

214
00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:53,708
Let's rock 'n' roll.

215
00:16:01,958 --> 00:16:06,458
Wolverine! Listen!
Mojo said it's only
entertainment.

216
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:08,000
He won't let us win!

217
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
He's controlling everything
that happens!

218
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,708
I'm going to try...

219
00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:13,000
(JEAN SCREAMS)

220
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,458
-Jean!
-MOJO: What a love story!

221
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:21,291
Am I moved by this mush,
or what?

222
00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:28,166
(WOLVERINE GRUNTING)

223
00:16:35,625 --> 00:16:39,958
MOJO: The highest ratings ever
for an educational show!

224
00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:46,000
Entertainment.
It's just television.

225
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Electronic images
created by machines.

226
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,000
-Logan!
-Hang on, Jean!

227
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,875
Electronic images
created by machines,

228
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:05,000
and machines can be affected
by psycho-kinetic energy!

229
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:09,583
(STAMMERING)
What... What is this?

230
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:14,000
(CROWD BOOING)

231
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:16,875
No!

232
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,583
Control room!

233
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,333
What are you doing up there?
Sitting on your hands!

234
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:28,625
MOJO ON SPEAKER:
Go to a commercial!
Go to reruns!

235
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:30,875
Go to an infomercial!
Go to something!

236
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:34,583
I'm losing my audience
to a bunch of dead trees!

237
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,291
SPIRAL:
What are you doing here?

238
00:17:36,291 --> 00:17:38,458
I'm setting the X-Men free.

239
00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:42,000
So they can get out
of my time slot.

240
00:17:53,083 --> 00:17:57,708
Hey, hey, hey!
You make them into stars

241
00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:00,958
and they just turn on you.

242
00:18:00,958 --> 00:18:02,333
No!

243
00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,875
How about giving me a lift,
Rogue?

244
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,583
ROGUE: Any time, sugar.

245
00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:09,833
Hold it!

246
00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:12,458
This, if you haven't been
paying attention,

247
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:14,166
is my dimension!

248
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:19,000
Get with the program
or get crushed!

249
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,958
(SCREAMS)

250
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:25,000
(CROWD CHEERING)

251
00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:38,833
(GROANS)

252
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:50,083
Can someone please tell me
what just happened?

253
00:18:57,458 --> 00:19:00,375
DOMO: Everything that
Mojo created is gone.

254
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:03,458
Especially the audience.

255
00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:07,833
Well, nothing lasts forever,
especially in television.

256
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:11,458
Did I tell you I used to go out
with an actress with two heads?

257
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:15,125
-Yeah? Was she nice?
-LONGSHOT: Yes and no.

258
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,500
Bubula!

259
00:19:20,958 --> 00:19:23,708
Come here. Come here, yeah.

260
00:19:23,708 --> 00:19:24,833
(KISSING)

261
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:28,500
You look great. Lost weight?
Had the face-lift? Whatever.

262
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:32,750
Listen, it's time we did
a fresh start, you know.

263
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:34,416
Now, we did
a little re-think on

264
00:19:34,416 --> 00:19:36,291
that re-write for
a re-group on a re-draft.

265
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:40,583
No, I'm talking new show,
new time slot, new dimension,

266
00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:44,166
bigger hair, less money.
The whole nine yards!

267
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:47,000
(MOJO LAUGHING)

268
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,000
Ooh!

269
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,000
Look! A jungle picture!

270
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,166
(SCREECHING)

271
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,375
XAVIER: That must be your
Citadel.

272
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:06,750
Yes, when I built it,
I felt I was creating a new
world here.

273
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,166
(WOMAN SCREAMING)

274
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:16,000
Magneto, we must help her!

275
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,208
(GROANING)

276
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,416
No, Charles!

277
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:26,375
The creature attacking
the woman is Sauron.

278
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:29,208
His powers would make him
a dangerous foe,

279
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:31,208
even if we still had our own.

280
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,583
There is nothing we can do.