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I don't talk to no pretty women when I'm on the road.
Hard to get along with.
You know, pretty women are hard to get along with.
An ugly woman easy.
You know, they don't want no trouble, you know.
I'm serious.
They doing their thing, cook all night for you.
And I have bad luck with women, y'all don't know.
Man, you don't know.
You meet one with their kids, they... You can't even get none.
Go over girl's house, what, 4:00 in the morning.
4:00 in the morning, little kids still up.
BeBe!
Drinking coffee and taking NoDoz.
You start yawning, they going to look at your ass,
talking about, "Can't hang, huh?"
We BeBe's kids.
-We don't die, we... -Multiply.
Tear it up, you know we gonna tear it up
I went to pick her up the next day, and here she got four more kids.
I said,
"Who kids are them?"
She said, "Those are BeBe's kids."
Those are BeBe's kids.
Tear it up, you know we gonna tear it up
People always peepin' our sound
'Cause we're nine years old and wiser than our years
We always do what people don't expect
But after Marq we don't regret
Some guy out there, some white guy out there
thought they were my... My kids.
That's what made me mad.
"Bro, brother,
"broham?
"Tell me, are those your kids?"
"No, no way. Ain't none of them my kids.
"Them BeBe's kids."
Rip it up, tear it up No, it doesn't matter what it is
'Cause these kids are a little bad bunch
Here they come, like a bomb Hope you're ready though
'Cause the tre from LA ain't no joke
Marq, the Don Don't forget Jerome
Three bad brothers Got it going on, huh
Here's the flava Nothing can save ya
When they on their worst behavior
Can't nobody Can't nobody play this
Immature
Can't nobody, can't nobody Can't nobody
And I went to turn the radio on, man,
they tried to take my radio while I'm listening to it.
Little girl said, "Put the radio back,
you know damn well we can't get rid of no more 8-track.
"Put it back."
I've been keeping my cool
But tonight I'm going to let my hair down
And step-out with these down-home blues
You cannot eat hot links on the bar.
Hey, mister, that beer has been here since 12:00 this afternoon.
You either order again or you got to go. I'm sorry.
I got some money-spending people coming in here.
I gotta make some room in here.
All these lowlife deadbeats ain't never spending...
Hey. If you don't go somewhere and sit down,
I'm going to knock you down, you know that?
You about to get on my last nerve.
What's wrong, Robin?
Woman trouble?
Get it off your chest.
I don't want to talk about it right now.
Come on, man, you'll feel better.
Come on, boy, get it off your chest.
I don't want to talk about it right now.
Man, you can't walk around with problems staying inside you.
The best thing to do is let it out.
You'll feel better.
Not right now. I really ain't got nothing to say.
All right.
I knew she was trouble.
I should have known it when I met her.
It was at a funeral.
Oh, Lord!
He going to be all right. He all right with me.
You love him.
Walter!
Everybody was there.
Because everybody was glad he was dead.
He was about 4'3".
He wore those high-heeled shoes all the time.
He was about 5'6",
but when that truck hit him, kinda cut him down a little bit.
Look at this brick house.
Damn!
She so fine, she make you wanna get a job.
With benefits!
Let's play the game, man.
I'm playing the game, man, you just looking to hit.
Hit that! Just drop something down!
I don't know... In Beverly Hills, we don't play that.
I'm going to take all your money, that's what I'm going to do.
—That boy is crazy, ain't he crazy? -Look, look, look.
Look who just walked in here.
Hey, Robin. Come on over here, man.
You've been working last week.
Come on, lose some of that money.
No. Only way I'd lose money to y'all, if I had a hole in my pocket.
Then sit down and quit trying to look at everybody's hand.
Shut up, old fat fool. Look at you.
You know, you so big you don't know if you're walking or rolling.
I'm not fat. I'm pleasantly plump.
I keep telling you that.
Boy, I'm so glad that damn Walter is dead.
Who ain't? The only reason his widow is over there crying,
is because he didn't leave her no life insurance.
Don't be shameless, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to hear that, because he died owing me money again.
Shoot, Walter owed everybody money.
Let me tell y'all something about Walter.
That Walter was so cheap, he wouldn't spend a lovely evening.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Who's that girl in that black dress?
Good God almighty.
Which one?
-With the braids. -Have mercy.
Her? She was Walter's secretary.
I'll bet she can't type a stroke.
Type?
I don't think she had to type.
Hey, Rudy. Ain't your wife a secretary?
Y'all stop this stuff now, I'm trying to win this game.
Here she comes.
Y'all ever notice that Walter smelled?
I smelled him with...
-That new deodorant on him. -I think it's called formaldehyde.
You sure look good in black, baby!
She puts me in the mind of Players magazine.
1973.
Pam Grier issue.
-I'LL never forget that one. -That's the one, that's the one.
I know it's hard now.
If you need me, call me.
Okay? All right.
Hey, look here, y'all, I gotta go.
Because while I'll be at work tomorrow,
y'all be in a bed dreaming about a job.
At least we be dreaming.
We ain't going to be hauling nobody else's trash.
That's for sure.
You know, I like funerals. I'm glad I went to a funeral.
I'll be glad when I go to yours.
Excuse me, miss. I didn't catch your name.
Didn't throw it.
Well, my name is Robin.
Robin.
That explains the red vest.
Like the bird. That's kinda cute.
A little festive for this event, though.
Shoot, I don't care nothing about no Walter.
I could have come to Walter's funeral in my drawers.
Pretty late for a woman to be catching the bus all alone.
Do you need a ride?
No, thank you. I have a car.
Well, mind giving me one, then?
Well, that sure was a nice funeral, wasn't it?
Well, that sure is a good sign,
you feel comfortable enough to give me a ride,
even though you don't know a damn thing about me.
Because I could be crazy, you know.
I hate doing a favor for somebody who make you wanna take it back.
You know, like when you give somebody a ride,
and they got a warrant out on them.
Hey, what... Hey.
Tell a brother buckle up first.
You trying to tell me something with that story?
I'm just trying to tell you a funny story. Trying to amuse you.
But you're trying to kill me in this little thing.
Sorry. You made me nervous.
Well, you ain't the only one.
So, what's your name?
She said she had to pick up her son at the babysitter.
And I asked why didn't she just have her husband to watch the kids.
After all, a good father should be wanting to spend
some quality time with his kids.
When that becomes your business, I'll ask your advice.
She said she was divorced.
-Once I saw the kid... -Mommy!
...I knew I had it made.
Because you know I'm good with kids.
Hey, little buddy, what did you do tonight?
Man, I don't even know you.
Leon.
Sorry. We watched videos.
I got a movie you should watch next time.
It's called Dolemite. And it's about these pimps...
Now, why do you think
I'm going to let my son see one of those killer pimp movies?
You must not have seen Dolemite,
because that movie will teach you to appreciate poetry.
"Way down in the jungle deep
"The bad ass lion stepped on the signifying monkey's feet"
Dolemite, my man.
You know, that's romantic.
Anyway-
I could tell he was a nice kid,
but she was sheltering him a little too much.
But she couldn't help but see how good we was getting along.
So, Dakota Staton's playing down at the Regal Room next Friday.
And I would love for you to come with me.
But I wouldn't know what to call you.
Jamika.
So, how does Dakota at the Regal sound?
And find a babysitter on a Friday night?
If you want to get better acquainted with me and my son,
you should take us somewhere more appropriate, like...
-Fun World. -Fun World?
Yeah.
So, I said, "No problem.
I'll pick y'all up Saturday at 10:00."
No.
Y'all know me, I...
I'm an old-fashioned type of guy.
I didn't have to get a kiss that night.
Yeah, that night.
But wait till he spends some money.
I don't know what you do to me
When I think about you, yeah it sets me free
I don't know what you do to me
But I gotta tell you, girl
Your love keeps working on me
Look at this cheap thing.
So, I goes to pick her up the next day.
She got three more kids with her.
What's this? What's this?
These are children.
Wait. You said you had a kid.
These are BeBe's kids.
This is La Shawn.
Critter number one.
I ought to beat the...
-This is Kahlil. -What's up, little...
—What's up? -Kind of militant.
You a Farra-Chaka Khan?
Come on man, give it up.
Okay. That's okay. Hey!
-Man, you don't know how to shake? -I said...
That's pitiful. Old man like you.
Why, look at this.
Look like a broken-down spring.
I ought to slap you with the two fingers I got left.
I tell you it's nothing...
What the...
And this is little Pee Wee.
Pee Wee, the OG.
OG? I'll slap my F-O-O-T in your B-U-T.
My goodness. Those aren't double-knit pants, are they?
Trying to bring it back, huh?
What is this?
So, where's BeBe?
She went downtown.
How come she didn't take her little tribe with her?
Don't worry about it,
she left $20 to get her kids into Fun World.
BeBe left $20.
What's $20? $20 ain't enough gas to put in my car.
He don't look too happy to see us, do he, La Shawn?
She going to leave $20 here for me to take these 80 kids out.
Ain't that a...
Come on, Robin. The kids can't wait.
I can't either.
This going to be fun.
Hey, you wet dog, look at me when I'm talking to you.
I'm not even bothering you,
why don't you leave me alone?
Look at me when I'm trying to talk to you,
I know you're trying to ignore me.
I don't want to sit by you anyway.
I don't want to sit by you, either.
Wet dog!
Look at me when I'm talking to you!
I know you trying to ignore me!
Hey, look. What's up with all those...
—Ma! -Don't be a tattletale.
And make us lose the little respect that we do have for you.
What's wrong, Leon?
Nothing.
Man, why you always messing with me?
-Because she like you. -I do not.
-It's just because... -She thinks you cute.
I ain't going with no little runt like Leon.
She can't wait for you to grow up.
I had enough of you.
Hey, break it up back there!
Hey, don't worry, honey.
Once we get there, everything will be just fine. Just fine.
Come on, Leon. Wake up, sweetie. We almost here.
Wake up, kids.
Robin, you can slow down now, we're here.
Robin!
Robin, wake up!
Thank you, ma'am. You have a fun time, now.
Step out of the car.
Now, sir, you came to quite an abrupt stop.
Carrying any illegal substances?
-Concealed fruits? -Hey! Hey!
Vegetables?
No, I left that at home with the gun.
Stay right there.
Trying to make me feel like a king, huh?
Everyone's king at Fun World, sir.
Don't even try it.
God, I hate kids.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome to Fun World.
$35?
That's for the whole group, right? Dang!
One, two, three, four, five. God...
Jamika, give me that $20 BeBe left.
Say.
Well, look what we have here.
-Are you starting trouble? -Definitely a troublemaker.
He's a 4-15 in progress.
Man, back off my tip. I was just getting a drink of water.
Watch that hostile attitude.
We'll ask the questions, kid.
What's this on your hat?
It looks like some sort of gang insignia.
Look, I ain't in no gang, now give me back my hat.
I said, give me back my hat!
You just remember,
we'll be watching you.
You troublemaker delinquent.
Hundred ninety-seven,
98,
99,
ZOO!
Don't act like you don't want it.
What do you say to Mr. Harris, kids?
-F... -Thank you.
Here are your tickets, programs, maps,
senior-citizen discount cards, tennis shoes, a basketball,
mugs, decals, bumper stickers, coupons, napkins,
swizzle sticks, visor, sweat band and a T-shirt.
Please familiarize and observe the rules while in Fun World.
No running, no jumping, no yelling,
no cutting in line, no grumbling, no stealing.
That means you.
No breaking things and putting them back like nothing happened.
No sad faces, bad attitudes, introspective moments,
irritation at the mindless happiness of the masses.
And no littering.
Is that clear?
Enjoy your stay.
All right now, don't run around and work up an appetite.
'Cause I ain't feeding you little heathens.
And don't touch a damn thing!
Found mine.
How come we can't never find our names?
Yeah, I know four girls named La Shawn.
How come we don't have a license plate?
Kahlil?
Who the kind of kids that never been nowhere?
'Cause BeBe taught y'all you just don't care
The case is clear that you don't know how to act
But you better learn quick or I'll take you right back
I'm not having you run around here like some heathens
If you thinking 'bout growling I'm think about leaving
The day just started and I'm tired of this
I'm not your daddy and I ain't havin' it
Warning. You have activated a maximum-security system.
Do not panic.
You want to start a fight? I'm ready for war
I'll pack your rusty butts back in the car
Roll up the windows with no air conditioning
Blacking out from the heat
And you're all gonna be wishing
That you never, ever thought of that
Acting the fool and showing off
So, when I say stop y'all better quit
I'm not your daddy and I ain't havin' it
He ain't havin' it
Excuse me, sir,
but I have to charge you for the items
your kids manhandled in the store.
Where did Pee Wee go?
I ain't saying jack.
You ain't going to talk, huh? Come here you little...
If you don't tell me where your little brother is,
I'll beat the black off you.
You going to look lighter than Michael Jackson.
So, where is he? Where is he?
Now, I'm not the one you want to try
I'll spank your behind and make your behind cry
You'll get no appeals bargains or pleas
Don't care if your sorry or begging on your knees
Not a threat, not a promise but a natural fact
I ain't your daddy and I ain't havin' it
He ain't havin' it
But we was just playing.
Other kids are playing, too.
Start up again, I'm going to drop you like a bad habit. You hear that?
Yeah.
Test-tube baby.
Can we eat? Man, I'm hungry.
-We were too excited to have breakfast. —Yeah, that's it.
BeBe don't keep nothing in her fridge.
I tell you, Jamika, that BeBe, she's getting on my nerves.
I ain't even met the child.
Look at these poor children. Look at them, starving.
They be better off in Ethiopia.
Mama said knock you out
I'm going to knock you out
Mama said knock you out
Hello, Robin. Long time, no see.
Hi, Dorothea.
I been meaning to call you, but my phone got shut off.
Funny, I always get your machine when I call.
I can get incoming, but I just can't dial out.
Don't worry. I'm not going to sweat you
for my alimony check.
I'm just here to have fun. Just like you.
Robin. This is my friend Vivian.
Lord, not another one.
Damn.
Quite an appetite you got there.
Yeah, well, you know, I came with some people.
Well, that was quick. Was I so...
Dorothea.
I gotta go. Food's getting cold.
Food ain't the only thing cold around here.
You know he still love you.
Was she born to torture me? Look at her.
Can't even wear high-heel shoes.
Just sliding and sliding all over the place.
Smoke coming out, look like a train coming down a aisle.
I remember one time she went into Lane Bryant.
"I would like to see something to fit me."
Sales lady looked at her, said, "Me, too."
Seeing that skeezer made me feel even better
about being with Jamika.
She's about something.
But what about the kids?
The kids? You kidding me?
Those kids must have missed a few meals.
They were eating so fast
I had to spit on my food to keep them from taking mine.
Sorry about that there.
So, then I took them on the scariest ride in the park.
And that kept them behaved.
Yes! Yeah!
No. No. No. No!
Y'all smell something?
Pee Wee, is that you?
Jamika, this is the last time I take you
and these crazy kids
anywhere!
Slow down, slow down, slow down.
Bye, Leon.
Hey, this is... This is fun, right?
Okay, you can pull the cord now.
The cord. Pee Wee!
You mean this cord right here?
What's the matter? Can't hang?
Dang.
I'm just glad it didn't happen on the roller coaster,
because you would have got me, too.
-Thank you, Mr. Harris. -You welcome, son.
Just lay off them chili dogs.
Come on, boy. Clay, Kyle, whatever your name is, you next.
Father faker.
Since the kids started acting civilized, we let them go off on their own.
And me and Jamika took a little boat trip.
Mama, I want to go with you.
You can't be with us now, sweetie.
Now, just run along and play with your friends.
Friends? Those are not my friends.
I hate when you babysit BeBe's kids.
Why couldn't we go to Fun World alone?
Honey.
Leon, come here.
Now, I know you don't like BeBe's kids.
I don't like them kids either.
But you all don't have to like each other.
But they do have to respect you.
Now, that's something I can't make them do, Leon.
You have to do it for yourself.
-How do I get respect? -Easy.
Don't worry about what they think about you.
Just do what you do best,
and then you'll win respect on your own terms.
-That's it? -Yeah.
And one other thing.
If you get into a fight, don't fight fair.
Get a brick and knock the hell out of them kids.
Robin, I heard you.
All right, little man. Have a good time.
And remember what I said.
Bye, Mama.
Thanks, Mr. Harris.
I don't mean to get in your business,
but maybe you should sign Leon up for some karate classes.
That boy kind of soft.
Step right up, young fellow.
Give it a good hit, now.
If that's the best you can do,
you'll have to come back in a couple years.
Come on now, move along. Move along.
Who will be next to test their strength? Step right up.
Look who's back. Little Leon.
Welcome back, weenie.
Yeah, here he is, the weenie man.
You ready?
I thought you was going to hang around your mama leg all day.
At least my mama's here.
Yeah, well, your mama ain't going to be here to catch you
when I knock you out, so you better watch your mouth
because you're talking about our mama.
-Yeah. -What's up with that, man?
Hey, kids! Time for another Cartoon Cavalcade
at Fun World Playhouse on Flea Street.
With plenty of free popcorn.
Come on, let's get a good seat.
Don't try to change the subject.
So, what up with that? Y'all going to scrap or give a hug?
Go on, kiss her.
We got them good.
Look at that expression on her face.
Mack daddy, Leon.
Yeah, player of the year.
You got it going on, baby, like no other.
You guys play too much, man.
I'm going to get you guys, you know I don't like kissing boys.
I'm going to get you two.
No wonder they going so much faster than us.
Girl, get some of this food off the boat.
-Well, I need it to live. -Get that chicken out your purse.
You really have been sweet with the kids today, Robin.
-Jamika, is BeBe your sister? -No.
Is she your cousin?
Is her man your loan shark?
BeBe is a friend.
Shoot, I would want somebody to help me
if I had problems like she does.
They got correctional facilities for problems like that, Jamika.
They just need a strong man in their life.
-You got any kids? -Nope.
-Ever been married? -Next question.
Do you want kids?
Hell, no!
Especially if they turn out to be like BeBe's kids.
But you know, you're really good with them.
Not that I like you for the kids.
I like you.
Sometimes it just don't seem like the right things
happen to the right people.
Or the right people just don't be at the right place at the right time.
Yeah, like the white people on Arsenio's band.
-Robin, I mean BeBe. -Hold up, Jamika.
That's enough talk about BeBe.
I only know one thing.
I'm definitely in the right place, at the right time.
Right now.
So, scoot them big hips over.
Boy, you crazy.
Oh, the funniest sensation
We been here just like this before
If this is any indication
Of a future, I want more
Now I don't have a lot to give you
I ain't putting on no airs
But if you'll just let me be with you
Love has returns we can share
Because we got so much in common
We could be two of a kind
No matter how the chips may fall
Like a puzzle on a table
Like a hand in glove, we fit together
I'm going to give you all my love
From the stars up above
I'm going to give you all my love
Just you, baby
It's got to be you
You know you're all I'm thinking of
I'm going to give you all my love
-Oh, God, the feeling -Oh, God, the feeling, baby
If you got the time
For the love revealing
Concealing nothing
True happiness we will find
Going to give you all my love
My love, my love
Hey, y'all can't leave me, the little OG.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-Hey, man, are you out of your mind? -Hey, Kahlil, over here.
Hey, up here. Down here.
Hey, Pee Wee, I froze you.
It's too hot to stay froze.
I see a Popsicle coming now.
Where are your parents?
Yeah. Your mommy and daddy.
Where you think they at?
Over your parents' house playing pinochle.
Another smart remark and you'll be ejected from Fun World.
Understand?
Unsupervised minors are prohibited from engaging
in unauthorized leisure activities.
-Yeah, no laying around. -Shut up.
-I do all the talking. -A|| right.
We weren't in anybody's way, okay?
The issue is not obstruction of walkways.
So, you trying to say we can't play freeze tag?
Correct. However, we have a variety of engrossing...
Yeah, real scary.
...exhibits designed for your age demographic.
Allow me to escort you to my personal favorite.
-Follow him. -Get your hands off me.
Let's go, People-
-Safety first. -Strap them in tighter.
-Good night, Gracie. -All clear here.
We're on our way back to headquarters.
Everything is A-okay.
Thunder turns on a basic assumption
Moving, time after time
Family dysfunction and compulsive consumption
Are two sides of the same dime
If our hand in your pants feels like a grand presumption
That's where our fortune is found
Because fools and all their money
Make Fun World go 'round
Overpriced merchandise galore
Leave your wallet with us at the door
Don't come out until you buy some more
More, more, more, more
The power of suggestion cannot be ignored
So the saying goes
And the carrot is mightier than the sword
When it hangs in front of your nose
We hope it's a carrot that you can afford
Halt. No one under 17 admitted without parent or guardian.
-Just as I suspected. -Just as we suspected.
-Get those kids! -No!
MY back!
Way to go, Leon.
Yeah, I knew you had it in you.
I knew you had a little BeBe in you.
All right!
Who are you GUYS?
We BeBe's kids.
BeBe's kids?
Yeah. We don't die, we multiply.
All right. Who's he?
-He's just a punk. -Man, I ain't no punk.
-So, you down, then? -Yeah. For whatever.
Hey, yo. Can we be BeBe's kids?
No, punk. But you can hang with us for a while.
-Yeah, all right. -That's cool, dude.
What's your name, man?
My name's Winthrop.
Winthrop?
No, man, we calling you Opie.
—My name's Richie. -Like the comic book Richie?
Damn, you guys got some corny names.
What's your name?
I'm the jaw breaker The candy taker
And if I skip school I'm the flu faker
Original man in a strange land
You never saw my butt on American Bandstand
The MC's name is Kahlil
And if you can't spell it you never will
Allah the provider for the flavor you're lacking
But if you stop my flow start straight jacking
Look.
Straight jacking
Straight, straight straight jacking
I'm La Shawn No, not Latifah
Demanding the mike just like Aretha
Cute little girl but I fight like a man
I even made Iron Mike Tyson say, "Damn!"
La Shawn, Kahlil and Pee Wee want R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Never slipping, or sliding no macking or slacking
BeBe's kids, straight jacking
We've got an assault on characters in Section Five.
Order received.
Shorty The OG with all the clout
Lip smacking for what's under the blouse
Three years old and still drinking Similac
You smack me and I'll smack you back, punk
So, now it's time for me to straight jack, y'all
And get busy like Arsenio Hall
Taking a dump can be so relaxing
Straight jacking
Hi, boys and girls, I'm Rodney Rodent.
And I'm Tommy Toad. How are you doing today?
It goes three for the treble and two for the bass
We're BeBe's kids and we're wrecking this place
Now all bad kids seem to always get spanked
But try that with us and you might get ganked
Release the balloons and act real funny
As we ride rides and Robin spends money
To my posse won't be no attacking
HEY, YO
-We ain't wild -Straight jacking
Yo, they trying to get away.
Rush them.
Rodney, come on. Let's get out of here.
You're on your own, Rodney.
Let go.
Yay, Rodney!
Not the feet. I've only got two of them.
Yeah, these'll work. We can use these to go swimming.
Look, there they are.
5-0. Run.
Fun World.
Come back here, you little scum-buckets.
I'm going to get you.
Robin. It looks like there's some trouble.
Trouble? Girl, you from Compton.
That ain't no kind of trouble.
Well, maybe we should find the kids and make sure they're safe.
Them kids all right, girl.
Shoot. I feel sorry for trouble if it runs into them kids.
Hide!
Hey, y'all, wait for me.
Look out! Behind you!
-Run. -Look at them. Look at them.
Where's them cops now? Put that down.
Thank God they white.
There they are.
Come on, I think they're still behind us.
This way, Richie. Get in.
Please, walk to your cars and secure your seat belts immediately.
Ever hear of the Alamo?
Get your muskets ready, Davy Crockett.
How long could we keep this up?
Until BeBe's kids show up again, and they'll know what to do.
Look out, there's one over there.
Look out behind you.
-My aching old back. -My glasses.
He's going down the court, just going...
Boy, you're so crazy.
I ain't lying. Would you try to stop them?
I'm going to the ladies' room.
I'll be right back.
Don't get lost, my little chitlin snaps.
Girl, you been walking slow all day. What's your problem?
My man Robin came over last night.
-You mean Robin Harris? -Ain't but one.
You see I got bags under my eyes
big enough to carry $50 worth of groceries.
How come y'all didn't stay married?
He's good to me, but he's so mean to the kids.
-Is he cheap? -Is he?
He turned Muslim last December so he wouldn't
have to give Christmas presents.
That's a damn shame.
And he's so quick to hit somebody.
Then he don't wanna pay the dental bill.
I don't know what to say. You shouldn't be with that man.
I know, I shouldn't.
But, girl, I can't help it, because I love him.
You love him?
Girl, I don't believe what you just did.
Did we psyche her out or what?
Did you see her face?
I know! I know! Girl, I ain't seen nobody that mad
since I saw Robin in divorce court.
Hey, sweet thing. Where you been?
Where I been is talking to some of your friends.
-My friends? -And where were you last night?
You act like you know already. What's wrong with you?
Don't act like something's wrong with me.
You the one with the problem.
Now, how much time we got until we meet up with the kids again?
Well, we got just enough time...
-My God... -Robikins.
Get away. Get away from here.
Leave. Please, leave.
Guess what? We got just enough time to go check out Futureville.
I bet you it ain't got no black people in it. I bet you.
You going to act like that didn't happen?
What?
I'm sorry, honey, I thought you was in a downwind.
I had a couple of burritos, and you know...
Robin, don't try to change the subject.
I knew she wasn't going to leave me alone.
So, I'm trying to figure out what's worse,
telling a pretty lie or the ugly truth.
Beauty's only skin deep.
Yeah, but ugly is to the bone.
Amen, brother.
I hate it when a woman says...
Just tell me the truth. I won't get upset.
Because she's lying. And she don't wanna hear the truth.
If you tell her the truth she's going to get mad.
So, I told her...
That's my landlady. The old snaggletoothed heifer.
Look at that. Spending all my rent money on that cotton candy
when she knows she needs to be fixing my refrigerator.
Wait, wait. Jamika, come on, now.
Jamika!
Hey. Yo, you always trying to leave the little OG.
Hey, man, YO.
Come back here with my brother.
Humans are not allowed here.
Give him back, and we'll leave. Give my little brother back.
You better not be rolling nowhere with my brother, man.
He attacked one of our models. He will be punished.
He must not know who he's messing with.
Hey, tin man, haven't you heard of BeBe's...
Run, Pee Wee, he's got the scent of your diaper.
What's going on here?
Shoo. Move along. Get.
-Hey, you there. -What do you want?
You're in America, son.
That's not the way we do things around here.
Every man has a right to a fair trial.
Word.
So, how about it? Give a brother a fair shot.
If my robotic brethren agree, a trial will commence.
Hear ye, hear ye.
The robots versus Kahlil Wooten. The charge is assault.
The prosecution may present their case.
You know, it's been a long time
since I've been in a courtroom as a lawyer,
but the evidence of this heinous crime is so irrefutable.
Exhibit one, please.
Now this is videotape
from one of the security cameras
in the Fun World exhibit.
Man, cold busted.
I told you that stupid bad attitude would get you in trouble, Kahlil.
Do me a favor, Leon, before they fry me, drop dead.
Any of you who knows the importance of law and order will vote guilty.
For the defense, Abraham Lincoln.
Don't slip up, Abe.
Pass the mashed potatoes, dear, will you?
Is this a pork gravy, dear? Or is this...
Here it comes. I'm just waiting for her to ask me.
Robin, who was that, really?
You mean the one over there with the orange perm
and the spandex.
That's Dorothea. That's my ex-wife.
Lips so big, ChapStick had to make a spray.
I know I should have told you in the first place,
but I'm embarrassed by that girl.
I guess that's why you only see her at night, huh?
At night? I'm trying not to see her for the rest of my life!
That's not what I heard.
Sprung a leak, cuz?
What you mean, "heard"?
Did she talk to you or something?
Well, we going to settle this now. Right now!
Each of you must ask yourself,
"Are we petty, vengeful humans or logical, moral machines?"
Then pass judgment.
Your Honor, the defense rests.
What say you all?
Death. Death. Death.
Wait a minute. Listen up.
No, don't help me, Leon.
All they were going to do before was kill me.
Ladies and gentlemen of the court
You're about to witness a brand-new sport
Where you're on the offense and I'm on the defense
So, let's see if we can make some sense
Kahlil is a rebel without a pause
He's a victim of your unjust laws
Fun World is no real fun for him
It seems so whack so bland, so grim
Freedom is a concept designed for every race
Follow it and Kahlil might own this place
He'd change the name and change the feel
Imagine "Def World" with your host Kahlil
Where Carter sells peanuts and Nixon fresh lemonade
And even old Abe will sport a high-top fade
Remember every great leader broke the rules
Made up by fools Give Kahlil the tools he needs
-Freedom -Freedom
Freedom
Who are y'all to tell me I ain't civilized?
Don't give us laws Give us the right to live our lives
At least I go out and get what's coming
Because BeBe's kids ain't known for running
So, come on down even if you're abused
You robots are all right until you blow a fuse
Y'all say I'm wild but I'm only a child
What BeBe's kids really need is
-Freedom -Freedom
Freedom!
Now it's time to rest my case
And get the verdict face to face
Wave your hands so we can see them
Wave your hands like you don't need them
If you believe Kahlil is right somebody say, "Freedom"
-Freedom -Freedom
Freedom
-Freedom -Freedom
Freedom
Girl, you got to try on this blush.
I got enough makeup.
Now, you stop it, now. I look good.
Yeah, but you got to put these big red circles on your cheeks.
Make them look like targets.
I don't wanna look like Shirley Temple.
Now, move girl, ain't you done yet? Let's go.
In a minute.
Ain't nobody looking at you. Come on.
That's them. I can tell by them Lee Press-On toenails.
Look who's with her.
Old Vivian with the skippys with the broke-down back.
Give me a break.
I see some women can't do anything without a man.
Why you lie on me? Don't you know that this kind of game
only brings me and Jamika closer
and guarantees that you and I never get together again. Never!
Well, for me to lie on you I'd have to care about you
and believe me, I don't give a damn about neither one y'all.
Ain't that a...
That's why I wear my ring on the wrong finger,
because I married the wrong woman.
Hair look like the back of a toaster.
Your mama.
-My mama? —Yeah, your whole family.
Ain't that a... Look at you.
Your mama so old, she was there the first day of slavery.
Your mama so old, she's older than your grand mama.
Your mama so fat, she on both sides of the family.
That's okay. Your mama's so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Ain't that a... Your mama so dumb,
they told her it was chilly outside,
she went and got a bowl.
You ready to go, baby? Come on, let's get out of here.
I think it's time to flush and leave.
You can have him. I don't have a problem getting a man.
Well, girlfriend, here's some lotion for your ashy ankles.
That'll make it even easier.
That's all right, your mama so country, she got in an elevator
and thought it was a mobile home.
You know what that was all about, right?
He still loves you.
Robin, I'm so sorry.
Jamika, it doesn't really matter,
because I'm with you,
and this day turned out to be, you know, kind of special to me.
Me, too.
I'm sorry I put you on trial like that.
Jamika, you so crazy.
Run!
Come on, the cops are still after us.
We better get out of here. Let's go. Let's go!
Now I've got them. Surrender now and face moderate casualties.
It's the end of the line for you kids.
Hey, come on, this way.
Move. Excuse me. Get out of the way.
Move, man.
Come on, come on. Let's go, people.
Out of our way.
I got...
No!
It looks like you missed the boat, huh?
I'll be the captain.
No. It's BeBe's kids!
Ahoy, mates. I spot a big old boat
to our starboard side that's ready to get vicked.
Give me that. Let me see.
They're still after us. What say you, crew?
Are you down to take them off?
Ave, aye!
Bust it, then.
As you enjoy the last cruise on the Titanic,
stop by the snack bar for flavor-icious iceberg pops for you and your family.
We also have delicious popcorn...
Moonlight becomes you
It goes with your hair
Robin, you are something else.
-Something... -You so crazy.
Boy, I'm scared of you. Look at you.
What was that?
I know it's them kids. I know it's them kids.
If I could just touch one of them, I would...
Hey! Hey!
Robin? Robin?
Oh, my God! The boat! The boat!
Women and children...
Now what, captain?
-Ram them. -A|| right!
Come on, we gotta get out of here!
Abandon ship.
We're experiencing technical difficulties,
but the snack bar's still open,
where they've got that finger... They're going to ram us!
We BeBe's kids. We don't die, we multiply.
-Somebody help me! -I'm right behind you.
Hey, wait for me.
Fun World.
Robin, wait.
No. I had enough of them kids.
I can't be around no bad people, Jamika.
You know I'm on parole.
Boy, you ain't on no parole. Come on, now. Let's go get the kids.
I ain't stutting those kids, Jamika.
If you were smart, you'd come right along with me.
I'll call for backup!
Boat 73 going in.
Did you buy your kid a Nintendo game this Christmas?
Did I buy my kid a Nintendo?
Give me a break, okay, kid?
I don't think so.
Look, we were going to, okay?
We were going to... We were going to.
What say you, crew? Should I?
Shark food!
Next.
Don't try to leave them, Robin.
That's why they shot their daddy.
Come on.
Get out of the way. Get out of the way. Get out of the way!
Gotta go. Gotta go.
It's my car. Where's my keys? Ain't that a... Look out.
It ain't time to go.
Are you trying to leave us?
Fun World! Fun World!
Fun World! Fun World! Fun World!
Quiet down!
Hey, Ma, guess what we did? We jumped out of a boat,
and then we cut off Tommy Toad's feet off.
And then we took over a pirate ship,
and then we saw another ship. And then we...
—Quit talking. -Fun World.
Home, blacky.
Ain't that a...
You messed up now. That's it.
Fun World! Fun World!
La Shawn. Girl, have you gone crazy?
What's that funky smell?
Pee Wee, did you go again?
What's corn doing on the floor?
I ain't never been glad to see the cops before,
but I was sure happy then.
Happier than a runaway slave, papers and all.
Help. Help. Help.
These kids are dangerous.
Boy got a knife bigger than Rambo's.
One kid got a Colt longer than Shaft's.
Those are BeBe's kids.
I have had it.
I am pissed off to the highest level of pissivity.
Now, I'm taking these kids home now.
Not now, but right now.
But BeBe isn't home yet.
No, she's home. I know she's home.
And she's home getting her boots smoked, right now
just like you could be.
But, no. You want to sit here and watch these bad ass kids.
If she didn't want to watch them, she shouldn't have had them.
She didn't have them by herself, Robin.
What'd you say "Robin" for? I ain't their daddy.
At least you recognize that they do have one.
I don't see nobody shaking their heads, pointing their fingers at him.
Now what you wanna go and point the finger at Old Slewfoot for?
I thought the devil was through when he made Rosemary's babies,
but, oh, no.
No. Now we got BeBe's kids.
Now, kids, what do you say to Mr. Harris for the lovely trip?
Thank you very much.
They didn't wanna go with four black kids
in the first place.
So, where we going next week, Mr. Harris?
Next week? I'll take you somewhere next week.
I'll take you to a snake pit.
Now go on, your mother's waiting for you.
Yo, wait up.
Hey, get back here. Get back here with my stuff.
Hey, it better not be nothing from my crib.
I better walk them in.
Let me walk them in,
because I want to give BeBe a piece of my mind.
I could see why they spent so much time over at Jamika's house.
It looked like they live next door to a crack house.
Try to phone hell from there, it'd be a local call.
Hey.
Mommy?
The place looked like MOVE headquarters.
Mommy?
Mama, are you home?
Mom, are you there?
What is this, another unpaid bill?
"Jamika, please give the kids dinner.
"I'LL be home soon. BeBe."
That girl crazy.
Y'all ain't got nothing in here to eat?
Well, here. Here's $10. Call the pizza man.
He don't come around here no more.
You leaving?
Well...
I'm sure your mother will be home soon.
Just keep the door locked, all right?
I sure had a good time.
Take care of yourselves.
Bye-bye, y'all.
Bye, Mr. Harris.
Now do you understand?
I understand that BeBe needs a good realtor.
Those kids don't stand a chance in that neighborhood.
No, I don't think that neighborhood stands a chance against BeBe's kids.
Now, I know they have a behavior problem,
but they're still kids.
Jamika, I was a kid, too.
And I lived like that, too.
But I wasn't as bad as those kids.
Nowhere near as bad as those kids.
If I got in trouble, my mother'd go get a switch
and beat me until my daddy get home.
Then he'd put on that blues record, the one that skipped.
Whup you when I wanna
When I wanna, when I wanna
See, Robin, you making my case. These kids need...
Need a what? A social worker?
But I already got a job, and it pays better benefits than that one.
You going to be like that, huh?
That was it.
—That was it? -Not another word.
You just dropped her off?
She got out the car, didn't say nothing.
-Well, what did you say? -Say?
I wasn't going to play myself, if she was going to play high post.
Man.
Man, nothing.
Say, man, you did the right thing leaving them kids.
They were nothing but trouble.
Listen, you don't need to look out for nobody but yourself.
That's why I am where I am today.
What am I doing? I gotta go get those kids.
I can't just leave them there.
Jamika?
-I think I judged... -Well, wait. Hold up.
We both been under a lot of stress
and said some things we didn't really mean.
Well, I...
Well...
Hey, now.
Your mama kind of like him, huh?
Yeah, and I kind of like him, too.
It looks like cooties is catching.
Come here, you little... I'll show you.
Go ahead, beat him like he owe you money.
I like La Shawn, boy.
Robin, the kids really do appreciate what you've done for them today.
Well, you know.
They just have their own way of showing it.
Hey, what's this?
Hey, Slim, we saved you a slice.
So, where we going next, Mr. Harris?
How about Las Vegas?
Vegas? We ain't going to no Vegas.
You're barely getting a ride to the end of the block,
so just sit back, buckle up, be happy,
and check Pee Wee's drawers.
I don't know how I let Jamika talk me into coming.
We got 14 cents between all of us.
Robin, it's going to be okay.
Jamika, this ain't a...
You know them kids don't know how to act.
The circus can't train them kids.
Robin, look at those sweet little faces.
I ain't having it. I'm like Marvin Gaye.
I want to know what's going on.
-No, it's BeBe's kids! -Ain't that a...
-Robin. -What did you all do now?
I ain't never been here, huh, La Shawn?
Yeah, let me up out of here, baby.
Vegas at last. Now, this is my kind of town.
Pour one for the poor one. Six-eight, running mates.
Box cars, don't stretch me out, now.
Las Vegas in effect, baby.
Pee Wee!
Pee Wee, what you doing?
What's that in your hand?
Pee Wee. Pee Wee, put that down.
Pee Wee. Pee Wee! No!
Test-tube baby.
Do you want to come?
Looking in the mirror
I see your face
For a little while
And I think of all the love you'll give me
I just had to smile
You believed in me
Even loved me before
I gave you a reason to
What can I do?
To prove to you
There's no way I can stop
Showing you what's in my heart
I want to thank you, baby
I want to thank you for your love
Sweet, sweet love
-I want to thank you —Thank you
I do appreciate your love
Thank you, thank you
Every time I think about you
Chills run up and down my spine
It's all about joy
Those precious memories we share
Will always last till the end of time
I promise you'll always
Get my everlasting love
'Cause I never
Thought I'd ever
Release myself to someone else
Your the face makes me want to tell you
Thank you
I want to thank you, baby
I want to thank you for your love
Sweet, sweet love
I want to thank you, baby
I do appreciate your love
Thank you, thank you, now
What can I do?
There's no way I can stop
Showing you what's in my heart
Thank you
I want to thank you
Thank you for your love
Sweet, sweet love
I want to thank you, baby
I do appreciate your love
Thank you, thank you, now
Oh, YES
You were down for me and I want to thank you
I want to thank you for your love
Come on
My sister, my brother I want to thank you
Sweet, sweet love
I want to thank you
My love, want to thank you
I want to thank you I want to thank you
Take me in your arms
I want to thank you
for your love
Sweet, sweet love