1
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BALLOON

2
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,528
- Hey Beavis.
- What?

3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,036
What does the president of the
United States

4
00:00:13,038 --> 00:00:15,237
think about,
when he goes to the bathroom?

5
00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:21,559
Does he, like, think about world problems?
Like the infra sculpture?

6
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,136
Does he, like, have a phone and
call up other presidents?

7
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,600
What's so funny?

8
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,776
What's so funny, dude?

9
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,500
The president of the
United States pinching a loaf.

10
00:00:38,445 --> 00:00:41,203
Yeah,
that was cool.

11
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,041
Hey Beavis, he's got your hair.

12
00:00:49,418 --> 00:00:51,622
Hey, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

13
00:00:58,870 --> 00:01:00,796
Tattoos are cool.

14
00:01:01,704 --> 00:01:04,510
Yeah. I'm gonna get one.

15
00:01:06,416 --> 00:01:08,988
You could have "I am a puss"
tattooed on your butt.

16
00:01:09,923 --> 00:01:11,542
Shut up, Butt-Head!

17
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,181
Anthony Kiedis is cool.

18
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,786
- These guys get all the chicks.
- Yeah.

19
00:01:42,982 --> 00:01:44,311
Flea is cool.

20
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,596
Hey, I can do that.

21
00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:51,420
That's cool.

22
00:01:58,007 --> 00:02:01,549
I saw pictures of these guys and
they had socks on their penises.

23
00:02:03,314 --> 00:02:04,966
That would be cool.

24
00:02:10,874 --> 00:02:13,275
Hey, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

25
00:02:25,099 --> 00:02:27,478
This guy looks like a mass murderer.

26
00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:31,067
Yeah.
He looks kinda like you.

27
00:02:34,264 --> 00:02:37,290
This guy is supposed to be better than
the Beatles and Elvis.

28
00:02:37,945 --> 00:02:41,835
Yeah.
He's not as cool as Metallica, though.

29
00:02:43,662 --> 00:02:45,409
Why does he keep looking up?

30
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:53,043
- This dude sounds like he was neutered.
- Yeah.

31
00:02:56,881 --> 00:02:59,281
This is satanic country music.

32
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:03,047
Yeah,
I feel like killing myself.

33
00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:09,503
Even something as fun and innocent
as helium balloons

34
00:03:09,503 --> 00:03:13,173
can cause a deadly threat to our
deep sea friends.

35
00:03:13,728 --> 00:03:14,986
Think she is a diver?

36
00:03:15,703 --> 00:03:16,977
Ask your mom.

37
00:03:17,603 --> 00:03:18,880
Choad smoker.

38
00:03:19,203 --> 00:03:21,957
The wind blows these balloons out to sea,

39
00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:26,083
where cute little baby dolphins can
swallow them and choke to death.

40
00:03:26,842 --> 00:03:28,107
Cool!

41
00:03:28,553 --> 00:03:32,103
It's so tragic,
to see these innocent creatures

42
00:03:32,103 --> 00:03:34,403
murdered by a party favor.

43
00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:37,234
Happy birthday, Flipper.

44
00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:52,203
Here you are, boys. What's the occasion?

45
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:55,598
- It's, uhh... It's like a gag.
- Yeah.

46
00:04:00,349 --> 00:04:02,916
Hey Butt-Head, let's breathe some gas.

47
00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:05,503
Go for it, dude.

48
00:04:10,303 --> 00:04:11,803
I don't feel nothing.

49
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,772
- What's wrong with your voice, dude?
- What's wrong with yours?

50
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:20,598
- Oh, no!
- We're neutered!

51
00:04:28,487 --> 00:04:30,642
- This is gonna be cool.
- Yeah.

52
00:04:34,618 --> 00:04:39,466
And now, here's a routine made
famous by the Harlem Globetrotters.

53
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:42,103
Give me the slingshot.

54
00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:47,441
- Butt-Head! Butt-Head!
- Whoa, cool.

55
00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:51,454
Help! Butt-Head, help!
I'm stuck! This sucks!

56
00:04:51,866 --> 00:04:54,353
- This sucks, help!
- Can I have your skateboard?

57
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,574
Shoot me down, ass wipe!
This sucks!

58
00:05:00,103 --> 00:05:01,390
Sorry, dude.

59
00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:08,579
Thank you dolphins!

60
00:05:08,603 --> 00:05:14,279
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
it's hammerhead time!

61
00:05:14,303 --> 00:05:17,712
That's right!
Synchronized scavaging by

62
00:05:17,713 --> 00:05:21,566
our lovely intelligent
hammerhead sharks.

63
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:28,273
Help Butt-Head! I can't swim!
This sucks!

64
00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:32,299
Whoa, cool.

65
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,181
Attention! Attention!
Someone has polluted the water!

66
00:05:41,403 --> 00:05:44,638
This could endanger the
life of the young sharks...

67
00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:47,596
Evacuate
the shark tank immediately.

68
00:05:47,887 --> 00:05:49,154
Yes!

69
00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:01,743
- This chick is hot.
- Oh yeah?

70
00:06:03,127 --> 00:06:06,978
Would you make out with her?
-Yeah, I'd be all over it.

71
00:06:08,282 --> 00:06:09,485
Really?

72
00:06:10,479 --> 00:06:13,577
- That's a guy, Beavis.
- No way.

73
00:06:15,991 --> 00:06:18,137
You wanna make out with a dude.

74
00:06:26,025 --> 00:06:28,402
He's got a nice butt, huh, Beavis?

75
00:06:29,878 --> 00:06:31,477
Shut up, Butt-Head!

76
00:06:35,447 --> 00:06:40,382
- Ooh, he is sexy, huh, Beavis?
- Shut up, Butt-Head!

77
00:06:50,896 --> 00:06:59,136
Boing, boing, boing, boing,
bo-bo-boing, boing, boing, boing.

78
00:07:02,324 --> 00:07:03,676
That was cool.

79
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,302
Those fish are swimming in the air.

80
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,171
Whoa! Those fish are peeing on him.

81
00:07:40,435 --> 00:07:42,437
- That's cool.
- Yeah.

82
00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:17,564
I wish I had lips on my hand.

83
00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:22,498
- That would be cool.
- Yeah.

84
00:08:26,742 --> 00:08:29,587
- Fish baseball.
- Yeah.

85
00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:34,754
- Hey Beavis.
- Yeah?

86
00:08:34,802 --> 00:08:37,198
Can I ask your a
personal question?

87
00:08:37,702 --> 00:08:39,252
Go for it, dude.

88
00:08:39,702 --> 00:08:43,702
Did you pee in the pool 'cause you
were smart or 'cause you were scared?

89
00:08:44,702 --> 00:08:47,244
No dude, 'cause it feels good.

90
00:08:47,802 --> 00:08:50,740
Yeah. That's why I always pee in the pool.

91
00:08:51,711 --> 00:08:52,949
Yeah.

92
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:06,988
All right!

93
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,888
Angus Young is cool.

94
00:09:17,921 --> 00:09:20,646
Yeah, Malcolm is cool too.

95
00:09:26,263 --> 00:09:30,857
- That drummer is old.
- Shut up, fartknocker, he's cool.

96
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:41,392
- Did Phil Rudd die?
- No, peckerwood, that was Bon Scott.

97
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,008
Oh yeah.
He was cool.

98
00:09:52,295 --> 00:09:55,264
- That guy is special.
- Yeah.

99
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:13,163
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.

100
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,913
- Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap.
- Sing it, Beavis.

101
00:10:20,641 --> 00:10:22,628
Dirty deeds are cool.

102
00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:28,794
Hey Beavis, have you
ever done a dirty deed?

103
00:10:28,818 --> 00:10:32,003
Yeah,
I spanked my monkey one time.

104
00:10:33,879 --> 00:10:36,368
These guys always
wear the same clothes.

105
00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:39,233
That's cool.

106
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,558
Hey, we always wear
the same clothes.

107
00:10:45,697 --> 00:10:50,866
- I had this shirt on for six months.
- I had this on for seven months.

108
00:11:09,455 --> 00:11:12,779
Hey look, she's running away
from home and she's only thirty.

109
00:11:12,859 --> 00:11:14,525
Yeah, yeah.

110
00:11:28,303 --> 00:11:30,075
Girls, girls, girls, girls.

111
00:11:31,445 --> 00:11:32,679
Yeah.

112
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,486
He touched her butt.

113
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,567
She's a hooker.

114
00:11:49,303 --> 00:11:51,801
- His daughter is a hooker.
- Yeah.

115
00:11:57,892 --> 00:12:00,642
- She's singing to the homeless.
- Yeah.

116
00:12:01,876 --> 00:12:05,717
- Hey Beavis, what are the homeless?
- I don't know.

117
00:12:09,844 --> 00:12:12,010
She's shaking her boobs.

118
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:26,235
- Hey Beavis, this video tells a story.
- Yeah, I'm pitching a tent.

119
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:29,171
This story sucks.

120
00:12:30,013 --> 00:12:31,301
Change it.

121
00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:34,956
Check it out.

122
00:12:35,746 --> 00:12:37,987
It's that fat guy from that show.

123
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,766
Which one is Tito?

124
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:54,297
That was cool.

125
00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:05,699
If he keeps touching himself
he is gonna break his other hand.

126
00:13:11,888 --> 00:13:13,221
Which one is Tito?

127
00:13:20,486 --> 00:13:21,884
Indians are cool.

128
00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:25,238
- Yeah.
- Which one's Tito?

129
00:13:26,454 --> 00:13:28,269
No, dude, it's Tonto.

130
00:13:33,348 --> 00:13:34,910
Whoa, she's hot.

131
00:13:45,342 --> 00:13:48,941
- Whoa, those are big babies.
- Yeah.

132
00:13:52,942 --> 00:13:57,394
- I like fire.
- Yeah, fire kicks ass.

133
00:13:58,726 --> 00:14:00,522
I like when they burn stuff.

134
00:14:10,619 --> 00:14:12,990
Check it out, it's that
kid from that movie.

135
00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:17,262
- MacClokin Loclokin.
- Micoly MacClothlin.

136
00:14:18,878 --> 00:14:22,390
- Call me Maclucklin.
- Mike calls him "boy".

137
00:14:28,637 --> 00:14:32,623
- Is his butt the same color as his face?
- Yeah.

138
00:14:37,131 --> 00:14:38,734
That's not real.