1
00:00:08,693 --> 00:00:11,529
ROZ: I'm sorry I brought Alice today.
We have so much work to do.

2
00:00:11,613 --> 00:00:14,949
That's all right, Roz. You know what?
You'll find another nanny soon.

3
00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:18,244
I better. I have a date tomorrow.
It's my first one in a month.

4
00:00:18,911 --> 00:00:20,287
A month.

5
00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:23,748
Between spending my days
with you and my nights with Alice

6
00:00:23,832 --> 00:00:26,417
I've forgotten what a
real conversation is like.

7
00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:29,880
Well, don't tell Alice that.
It might hurt her feelings.

8
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,131
[ALICE CRYING]

9
00:00:32,215 --> 00:00:34,425
ROZ: Whoop, there we go again.

10
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:38,679
-Thanks. Hello.
-Hello.

11
00:00:38,763 --> 00:00:41,348
Just look at the dapper
gent I ran into on the elevator.

12
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:44,560
MARTIN: All right, Niles, that's enough.
Yes, I like the suit you got me.

13
00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:45,768
All right, well.

14
00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:48,479
Tell me about the comments.
Did everybody there ooh and ah?

15
00:00:48,563 --> 00:00:51,816
No, people were pretty much
looking at the guy in the casket.

16
00:00:54,611 --> 00:00:57,071
-So, Dad, how was the funeral?
-Oh, it was terrible.

17
00:00:57,155 --> 00:00:59,114
It was not all the way
Stan would've wanted it.

18
00:00:59,198 --> 00:01:00,907
They did everything on the cheap.

19
00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:03,410
That daughter of his, she
didn't even get the good priest.

20
00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:05,161
She got some rookie from the seminary

21
00:01:05,245 --> 00:01:07,205
who stumbled all through the eulogy

22
00:01:07,289 --> 00:01:10,000
and couldn't even pronounce Wojadubakoski.

23
00:01:11,043 --> 00:01:12,793
Well, I can commiserate with you, Dad.

24
00:01:12,877 --> 00:01:16,005
I had rather a bad day on
the death front myself. Sherry?

25
00:01:16,089 --> 00:01:19,258
-Yes, please, Niles.
-I received a letter today informing me

26
00:01:19,342 --> 00:01:20,718
that thanks to my divorce,

27
00:01:20,802 --> 00:01:24,930
I've lost my plot at
Seattle's toniest cemetery.

28
00:01:26,223 --> 00:01:29,976
You mean, you're out of Verdant Hills?
Oh, I am sorry, Niles.

29
00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:33,060
I know how much you were
looking forward to being dead there.

30
00:01:34,648 --> 00:01:37,650
They've wait-listed me,
but I don't like my odds.

31
00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:39,818
FRASIER: I don't blame you.

32
00:01:39,902 --> 00:01:42,780
One country club fire, you
can kiss your chances goodbye.

33
00:01:43,239 --> 00:01:45,532
I went to all sorts
of funerals as a child.

34
00:01:45,616 --> 00:01:48,118
My uncle's a mortician. Lovely man.

35
00:01:48,202 --> 00:01:50,912
He's offered to do my
makeup for the wedding.

36
00:01:53,248 --> 00:01:55,041
I can just hear the whispers now.

37
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,877
"Did you see the bride? Very lifelike."

38
00:01:57,961 --> 00:01:59,337
[NILES CHUCKLING]

39
00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:03,214
Dad, you know, I'm sorry about
your friend's funeral not going so well.

40
00:02:03,298 --> 00:02:04,966
Rest assured, when the time comes,

41
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:08,678
years from now, Niles and I will
follow your wishes to the letter.

42
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,765
-Thank you.
-By the way, what are your wishes?

43
00:02:11,849 --> 00:02:14,893
Never mind. I'm not gonna go
planning my own funeral. It's bad luck.

44
00:02:14,977 --> 00:02:16,226
-But, Dad…
-MARTIN: No.

45
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,510
You don't pull the cord on the
bus until you're ready to get off.

46
00:02:23,401 --> 00:02:25,501
-Pull the what on the what?
-FRASIER: I…

47
00:02:27,697 --> 00:02:30,865
I didn't know Dad had such a
bugaboo about his funeral arrangements.

48
00:02:30,949 --> 00:02:32,867
I know, it's a painful subject,

49
00:02:32,951 --> 00:02:35,787
but we've got to plan for it.
We all must be prepared

50
00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:38,623
when the cold hand of death
comes knocking on our door.

51
00:02:38,707 --> 00:02:40,625
[KNOCKS]

52
00:02:45,588 --> 00:02:48,038
-Would you get that?
-I most certainly will not.

53
00:02:55,221 --> 00:02:57,321
-Pizza.
-FRASIER: Oh, thank you very much.

54
00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:00,559
Bulldog?

55
00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:03,312
Good Lord, come in, come in. Oh, heavens.

56
00:03:03,396 --> 00:03:05,856
You remember my brother Niles.
Niles, you remember Bulldog.

57
00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:09,317
Yes, of course. Hello, Bulldog.
So you're delivering pizzas for a living?

58
00:03:09,401 --> 00:03:12,696
No, I'm an eccentric millionaire.
This has always been my dream.

59
00:03:14,323 --> 00:03:17,826
-I can't tell you how sorry I am.
-Hey, no, no. Can the sad face, okay?

60
00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:20,410
I'm just making some extra
cash between radio gigs.

61
00:03:20,536 --> 00:03:22,454
-It's 18 bucks, by the way.
-Right.

62
00:03:22,538 --> 00:03:25,708
I just stopped by to leave off
these opera tickets. I'll be on my way.

63
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:29,253
Thank you, Niles. By the way, I'm a
little short of cash. Do you mind? Uh…

64
00:03:29,337 --> 00:03:31,587
-NILES: Yes, of course not.
-FRASIER: Thank you.

65
00:03:34,216 --> 00:03:37,969
There's you are, and a
little something extra for you.

66
00:03:38,053 --> 00:03:40,638
Wow, that's a pretty generous tip.

67
00:03:40,722 --> 00:03:42,933
Oh, I'll say. Wrong bill.

68
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:51,231
Hey, good luck, Doc. I'll see you.

69
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,191
-Thanks, Bulldog. Take care.
-All right.

70
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,943
Bulldog?

71
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,570
Oh, Roz.

72
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,822
Are you delivering pizzas?

73
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,782
Yeah, yeah.

74
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,534
This is kind of awkward, huh?

75
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:07,163
Oh, no, don't be embarrassed.
A job's a job.

76
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,597
No, I mean awkward for you.

77
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,750
This is the first time
you've seen me since

78
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:14,252
-we had that fling and I dumped you.
-I dumped you, pizza boy.

79
00:04:14,336 --> 00:04:18,923
Yeah, whatever. Hey, look who's here.

80
00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:21,885
Hey, sweet pea, you are getting so big.

81
00:04:21,969 --> 00:04:24,095
Hey, look at that smile. She likes me.

82
00:04:24,179 --> 00:04:27,579
She's relieved not to be the least
mature person in the room anymore.

83
00:04:27,974 --> 00:04:30,017
Who's got a mean old mommy?

84
00:04:30,101 --> 00:04:31,310
Roz.

85
00:04:32,854 --> 00:04:35,397
Listen, I think you may have
solved your babysitting problem.

86
00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:36,857
Who, Bulldog? Are you nuts?

87
00:04:36,941 --> 00:04:39,942
Yes, well, look, Alice is
obviously crazy about him.

88
00:04:40,026 --> 00:04:41,444
He could use the money.

89
00:04:43,238 --> 00:04:44,405
I don't know.

90
00:04:44,489 --> 00:04:47,283
Okay, fine.
Fine, Roz, you just cancel your date.

91
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:50,745
I mean, you've been this long
without a man, what's a few days more?

92
00:04:50,829 --> 00:04:52,454
Bulldog, do you want a job?

93
00:04:59,169 --> 00:05:01,546
BULLDOG: Okay, come on, one more bite

94
00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:04,382
and we can watch <i>Sports Center.</i>

95
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:07,802
Have you seen my purse?

96
00:05:07,886 --> 00:05:09,137
Yeah, it's on the chair.

97
00:05:10,847 --> 00:05:13,224
Steve is gonna be here any minute.

98
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:15,935
-So you been dating him for a while?
-Actually, no.

99
00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:19,521
Tonight's our first date.
In fact, it's my first date in a month.

100
00:05:19,605 --> 00:05:21,272
Whoa, you injured? You pull something?

101
00:05:21,356 --> 00:05:22,858
No.

102
00:05:23,609 --> 00:05:26,945
I guess no one quite measured up to
that week you spent in the Doghouse?

103
00:05:27,029 --> 00:05:28,780
-Let's get one thing straight.
-Okay.

104
00:05:28,864 --> 00:05:32,764
-That little fling we had is way over.
-I know. I know, I know. I was joking.

105
00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:34,993
Okay, if you're not gonna
have some peaches,

106
00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:37,830
we've got some Jell-O in the fridge, huh?

107
00:05:37,914 --> 00:05:40,958
You know, some naughty
ladies like to wrestle in that stuff.

108
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,251
[KNOCKS]

109
00:05:43,335 --> 00:05:45,753
Oh, who's that? Who's that?

110
00:05:45,837 --> 00:05:47,213
Let's see.

111
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:49,174
Let's see who it is.

112
00:05:50,926 --> 00:05:52,218
-Hey.
-Excuse me.

113
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:53,678
Is this Roz Doyle's apartment?

114
00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:55,388
-Yeah, yeah. You her date?
-Yeah.

115
00:05:55,472 --> 00:05:56,638
Listen up.

116
00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:59,224
You go out with Roz
tonight, I will rip off your arm,

117
00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:02,644
ram it down your throat and use it to
squeeze your heart till it stops beating.

118
00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:04,980
Hey, who's my pretty girl?

119
00:06:07,816 --> 00:06:08,941
Okay, dirtball,

120
00:06:09,025 --> 00:06:11,026
as soon as you get out
of here, you call Roz,

121
00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:12,570
and you cancel like a gentleman.

122
00:06:12,654 --> 00:06:16,198
And as far as she's concerned, this
conversation never took place. Got it?

123
00:06:16,282 --> 00:06:17,491
Who are you?

124
00:06:17,575 --> 00:06:19,827
I'm your worst nightmare. The babysitter.

125
00:06:21,745 --> 00:06:25,498
Okay, time to brush your toothies.

126
00:06:25,582 --> 00:06:27,208
Whoa!

127
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:28,459
Do I look slutty?

128
00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:31,893
All right, if you're fishing for
compliments, yeah, you look slutty.

129
00:06:32,214 --> 00:06:33,924
[PHONE RINGS]

130
00:06:35,675 --> 00:06:36,884
Hello?

131
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:38,678
Hey, Steven.

132
00:06:39,595 --> 00:06:41,763
Oh, really?

133
00:06:41,847 --> 00:06:44,547
Well, tomorrow's Saturday.
I mean, you won't have to…

134
00:06:45,851 --> 00:06:48,477
No, it's okay.

135
00:06:48,561 --> 00:06:50,062
Yeah, bye.

136
00:06:50,146 --> 00:06:52,106
I don't believe it.

137
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:55,902
My first date in a month,
and he blows me off.

138
00:06:55,986 --> 00:06:59,071
What? At the last minute? What a jerk.

139
00:06:59,155 --> 00:07:00,739
He does not deserve you.

140
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,242
Thanks, Bulldog.

141
00:07:03,742 --> 00:07:06,704
Well, I guess I can go.

142
00:07:08,038 --> 00:07:10,457
Oh. I ordered a pizza.

143
00:07:10,541 --> 00:07:13,459
Just have him drop it by my place.

144
00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:15,044
Oh, I'm at the YMCA.

145
00:07:15,753 --> 00:07:17,379
Oh, have him, uh,

146
00:07:17,463 --> 00:07:20,963
well, have him knock hard. I turn
up the radio to drown out the sirens.

147
00:07:21,676 --> 00:07:24,053
Why don't you just stay
and have your pizza?

148
00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:25,346
Well, are you sure?

149
00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:27,730
Yeah, it's not like I'm
doing anything tonight.

150
00:07:28,473 --> 00:07:30,892
Come in and tell us what
you guys did at the park today.

151
00:07:30,976 --> 00:07:34,312
Ahh! We fed the ducks.

152
00:07:34,396 --> 00:07:36,147
We went on a pony ride,

153
00:07:36,231 --> 00:07:39,483
and came back for a whole jar of peas.

154
00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:41,652
Peas? How'd you get her to eat those?

155
00:07:41,736 --> 00:07:45,336
There's a trick to it. You gotta pretend
to sneeze them out of your nose.

156
00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:47,658
How'd you come up with that?

157
00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:50,442
-It's an interesting story.
-Actually, don't tell me.

158
00:07:55,874 --> 00:07:57,959
-NILES: Frasier.
-FRASIER: Oh, good afternoon, Niles.

159
00:07:58,043 --> 00:08:00,628
Coffee's on me.
I'm back in Verdant Hills Cemetery.

160
00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:02,713
Oh, well, congratulations.

161
00:08:02,797 --> 00:08:05,632
Nothing left now but
all that pesky waiting.

162
00:08:05,716 --> 00:08:08,718
I haven't gotten the official
word yet, but I've called in a favor.

163
00:08:08,802 --> 00:08:11,346
Bruce McGuirk is on the board of
directors. I gave him grief counseling

164
00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:13,682
when his uncle was lost at
sea, and it occurred to me,

165
00:08:13,766 --> 00:08:15,768
there's a plot gone begging.

166
00:08:18,102 --> 00:08:22,272
Tell me something, do I have the word
"loser" tattooed across my forehead?

167
00:08:22,356 --> 00:08:26,819
No, Roz. But there is a rumor about
a Tweety Bird on your upper thigh.

168
00:08:29,822 --> 00:08:31,197
I've had two dates this week,

169
00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:33,491
and both have bailed out
on me in the last second.

170
00:08:33,575 --> 00:08:36,577
-What's wrong with me?
-Don't count yourself out just yet, Roz.

171
00:08:36,661 --> 00:08:38,830
-Yeah, right.
-No, there's a young man over there.

172
00:08:38,914 --> 00:08:42,614
Can't take his eyes off of you. He's
been staring at you since you came in.

173
00:08:44,376 --> 00:08:48,213
That's Ted from the ad department.
We've made eye contact for months.

174
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:54,052
Oh, yes, Ted. Well, his gaze is
so steamy it's refoaming my latte.

175
00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:56,138
Why don't you go over
there and talk with him?

176
00:08:56,222 --> 00:08:59,598
-I can't. I don't know what to say.
-I'll tell you what, ask him to dinner.

177
00:08:59,682 --> 00:09:02,518
I'm going to Chez Henri this evening.
I'll get you a table.

178
00:09:02,602 --> 00:09:04,353
I don't know.
I'm feeling a little gun-shy.

179
00:09:04,437 --> 00:09:06,564
If he sees you talking to
me another minute longer,

180
00:09:06,648 --> 00:09:08,315
he'll think he's got some
serious competition.

181
00:09:08,399 --> 00:09:09,899
[ROZ LAUGHING]

182
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:13,529
Thank you, Frasier.
I needed a good laugh to loosen me up.

183
00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:17,282
Yes, hello. Henri? It's Frasier Crane.

184
00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:18,491
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

185
00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:19,743
Yes, I was just wondering,

186
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:22,619
I'd like to get another table for
a friend of mine tonight as well.

187
00:09:22,703 --> 00:09:25,164
Niles Crane here. Hello, Bruce.
I hope you're calling

188
00:09:25,248 --> 00:09:27,499
-with good news about Verdant Hills.
-Table for two.

189
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:29,418
Yes, a plot for one.

190
00:09:30,419 --> 00:09:34,048
By the kitchen? Oh, Lord, I was
hoping for something near the fireplace.

191
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:37,175
Near the parking lot?
I'd prefer the Serenity Garden.

192
00:09:38,051 --> 00:09:40,678
Oh, the back room would be fine.
Uh, who's at the next table?

193
00:09:40,762 --> 00:09:43,514
The hilltop is divine.
Who's in the adjacent plot?

194
00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:46,851
-The Ashbys. Wonderful.
-The Ashbys. Delightful.

195
00:09:46,935 --> 00:09:49,811
-Thank you very much.
-I'm so grateful.

196
00:09:49,895 --> 00:09:52,731
McGuirk got me a shady
spot on the high hill.

197
00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:54,858
-You mean…
-Yes. I'll spend eternity

198
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,902
-looking down on Maris.
-Oh, Niles.

199
00:09:56,986 --> 00:09:59,279
-Checkmate.
-Ha-ha-ha.

200
00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:00,489
He said yes.

201
00:10:00,573 --> 00:10:03,824
Of course he did, Roz. Congratulations.
And you're all set at Chez Henri.

202
00:10:03,908 --> 00:10:05,367
-Great.
-BULLDOG: Okay.

203
00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:08,454
What sorry bastard would
steal a pacifier from a kid?

204
00:10:08,538 --> 00:10:09,747
This stinks.

205
00:10:09,831 --> 00:10:12,876
This is total BS. This…
Oh, found it, found it.

206
00:10:15,043 --> 00:10:17,921
Listen, Bulldog, I hate to do this to you.
Hi, Alice.

207
00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:21,841
But can you babysit tonight?
I just got a date with Ted over there.

208
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,051
-Really?
-ROZ: Yeah.

209
00:10:23,135 --> 00:10:25,386
Yeah. Sure, I can stay.
Hey, way to go, slugger.

210
00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:27,096
Thanks. I better go home and get ready.

211
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,015
You go ahead. I'll, uh, catch
up with you after I hit the can.

212
00:10:30,099 --> 00:10:31,726
ROZ: Oh, lovely.

213
00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:36,939
Hey, Ted, right?

214
00:10:37,023 --> 00:10:38,565
Bulldog. Long time no see.

215
00:10:38,649 --> 00:10:41,109
Hey, I hear you're going
out with Roz tonight.

216
00:10:41,193 --> 00:10:42,485
Listen up.

217
00:10:42,569 --> 00:10:44,862
You have her home 45
minutes after you pick her up,

218
00:10:44,946 --> 00:10:47,323
-or you'll be sorry.
-Yeah?

219
00:10:47,407 --> 00:10:49,451
What are you gonna do about it?

220
00:10:51,203 --> 00:10:52,286
[BONE SNAPS]

221
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,830
-Oh, my God.
-If I'm willing to do that to me,

222
00:10:54,914 --> 00:10:56,289
just think what I'll do to you.

223
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:58,458
Okay, 45 minutes.

224
00:10:58,542 --> 00:10:59,793
Or else.

225
00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:06,841
Hey, boys, feel like taking a ride?

226
00:11:06,925 --> 00:11:09,176
Well, sure, Dad. Where to?

227
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,846
I got thinking about what we
were talking the other night,

228
00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:14,181
about me not having made
any arrangements for myself.

229
00:11:14,265 --> 00:11:17,101
And so I just went out and I
bought myself a burial plot.

230
00:11:17,185 --> 00:11:18,810
[MARTIN CHUCKLING]

231
00:11:18,894 --> 00:11:21,563
-Wow.
-All right, let's go have a look, Dad.

232
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,315
I'm glad to see you finally
realized there's no point in being

233
00:11:24,399 --> 00:11:28,236
-superstitious about the whole thing.
-I realized if I let you plan my funeral

234
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:33,157
that it'd be all harps, white wine and
frankly, a lot of very pissed-off cops.

235
00:11:35,493 --> 00:11:37,494
It's right up here on the left.

236
00:11:37,578 --> 00:11:39,329
I've got the whole service mapped out.

237
00:11:39,413 --> 00:11:41,748
It'll start with a bagpiper
marching down the aisle.

238
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:44,792
Bagpipes? I'm having bagpipes
at my wedding. You knew that.

239
00:11:44,876 --> 00:11:48,713
And none of that dainty finger food,
either. Big slabs of beef. Prime rib.

240
00:11:48,797 --> 00:11:51,257
You can't have prime rib.
I'm having prime rib.

241
00:11:51,341 --> 00:11:53,259
-Oh, for Pete's sake.
-No, this is lovely.

242
00:11:53,343 --> 00:11:55,928
If you kick off before I get
married, you'll ruin everything.

243
00:11:56,012 --> 00:11:58,638
-All right, I'll drop the bagpipes.
-No, have the bagpipes.

244
00:11:58,722 --> 00:12:01,641
What else are you gonna have?
A cake with a white coffin on the top?

245
00:12:01,725 --> 00:12:03,852
MARTIN: Oh, just put
a sock in it, will you?

246
00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:05,979
DAPHNE: It wouldn't
surprise me if you had a hearse

247
00:12:06,063 --> 00:12:09,863
-with "Just Buried" on the side of it.
-MARTIN: Don't start. I'm warning you.

248
00:12:15,154 --> 00:12:16,614
Pretty great, huh?

249
00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:18,032
-FRASIER: Mm.
-MARTIN: Yeah.

250
00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:20,993
And I'll put your mom's
ashes over there on the left,

251
00:12:21,077 --> 00:12:23,427
because that was her side of the bed.
And, um…

252
00:12:23,787 --> 00:12:26,581
Oh! See how close we are
to the maintenance shed?

253
00:12:26,665 --> 00:12:28,082
And that's good because?

254
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:30,168
You're the first one to get mowed.

255
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:35,965
Yeah, so do you really like this place?

256
00:12:36,049 --> 00:12:37,341
Yes, Dad.

257
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,725
Fras, take about three steps
over to your left, will you?

258
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:46,516
Keep going, keep going. There you are.

259
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,936
Niles, stand right next to him. Yeah.

260
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,814
Congratulations.
You're standing on your very own graves.

261
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,150
What?

262
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:59,070
Yes. Well, they were for sale
so I went ahead and bought them.

263
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,405
And after seeing how much
you like it out here, I'm glad I did.

264
00:13:02,489 --> 00:13:05,158
-But Dad…
-Oh, I know what you're gonna say.

265
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,327
The expense. But don't worry about it.

266
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,330
Merry Christmas.

267
00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:20,798
[DOOR OPENS]

268
00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:23,008
[ROZ SIGHS]

269
00:13:23,092 --> 00:13:24,593
Sorry we had to rush out like that.

270
00:13:24,677 --> 00:13:26,804
Me too.
Is your stomach feeling any better?

271
00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:29,890
Uh, not really.

272
00:13:30,474 --> 00:13:32,601
Can I get you some ginger ale or…

273
00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:35,520
I really better go now.

274
00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:47,614
She's asleep, Roz.
Don't worry, I won't disturb you and…

275
00:13:47,698 --> 00:13:49,408
Where's Ted?

276
00:13:49,492 --> 00:13:50,867
He ditched me.

277
00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:52,202
What?

278
00:13:52,286 --> 00:13:54,287
Kept saying his stomach was bothering him

279
00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:57,290
but he was looking at
his watch the whole time.

280
00:13:57,374 --> 00:13:59,542
What is wrong with men?

281
00:14:00,877 --> 00:14:03,462
It's not him, it's me.
This has been happening all week.

282
00:14:03,546 --> 00:14:06,715
No, no, no, no, trust me, it is not you.
Those guys are jerks.

283
00:14:07,758 --> 00:14:08,926
Thanks, Bulldog.

284
00:14:10,594 --> 00:14:13,430
Hey, oh, look, if you're hungry, I…

285
00:14:13,514 --> 00:14:15,974
I was just whipping up a little something.

286
00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:18,018
There's probably enough for two.

287
00:14:18,102 --> 00:14:19,436
Great.

288
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,563
I'm just gonna go change, okay?

289
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,204
[KNOCKS]

290
00:14:40,372 --> 00:14:42,707
-What the hell are you doing here?
-I know. I'm sorry.

291
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:44,042
You are supposed to be gone.

292
00:14:44,126 --> 00:14:46,084
How many of my fingers
do I have to dislocate

293
00:14:46,168 --> 00:14:48,962
-before you take me seriously?
-TED: I got her home in 45 minutes.

294
00:14:49,046 --> 00:14:51,048
-She left this in the car…
-Hey!

295
00:14:57,888 --> 00:15:00,849
Oh. This smells delicious.

296
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:06,354
Thank you.

297
00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:08,356
Ow.

298
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:11,067
I guess I'm a little tense from that date.

299
00:15:11,151 --> 00:15:12,568
Allow me.

300
00:15:13,318 --> 00:15:14,987
Oh, ow!

301
00:15:17,698 --> 00:15:19,158
You're tight.

302
00:15:20,742 --> 00:15:22,244
Ohh.

303
00:15:22,995 --> 00:15:25,663
I forgot how good you were at this.

304
00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:28,123
Come to think of it,

305
00:15:28,207 --> 00:15:30,668
you were good at a lot of things.

306
00:15:33,171 --> 00:15:34,797
Whoa.

307
00:15:34,881 --> 00:15:37,716
Victoria's Secret, page 39.

308
00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:42,637
Why don't we just skip dinner
and go straight for dessert?

309
00:15:42,721 --> 00:15:46,308
Whoa. <i>Penthouse Forum,</i> page 23.

310
00:15:48,894 --> 00:15:50,602
Are you the new pizza man?

311
00:15:50,686 --> 00:15:53,063
I hope you're not double-parked.

312
00:15:53,147 --> 00:15:58,402
I promise you, ma'am, I will
deliver in 30 minutes or more.

313
00:15:59,153 --> 00:16:01,238
Wait. There's a scented
candle out on the balcony.

314
00:16:01,322 --> 00:16:02,622
Would you get that for me?

315
00:16:03,364 --> 00:16:04,532
I'm kind of naked here.

316
00:16:04,616 --> 00:16:09,036
It's cedar wood.
It promotes stamina and sexual creativity.

317
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,747
I'll be right back.

318
00:16:13,082 --> 00:16:15,875
Roz, open the door. Oh, I get it.

319
00:16:15,959 --> 00:16:17,377
Pizza man.

320
00:16:19,129 --> 00:16:22,590
You slime bag.
You've been scaring off my dates all week.

321
00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:26,052
-I don't know what you're…
-Cut the crap. I saw you talking to Ted.

322
00:16:26,136 --> 00:16:27,720
This is the lowest thing you've ever done.

323
00:16:27,804 --> 00:16:29,805
After the way I trusted
you, this is how you treat me.

324
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,515
-Would you let me in, please?
-No.

325
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,644
Come on. It's freezing out
here, as you can plainly see.

326
00:16:36,437 --> 00:16:38,731
Good. I want you to suffer.

327
00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:43,485
Oh, don't sit there.
I eat off that table, for God's sake.

328
00:16:44,402 --> 00:16:46,947
-Get dressed.
-Roz, come on. Roz, wait.

329
00:16:47,489 --> 00:16:49,866
-Would you let me explain?
-I don't want to hear it.

330
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:51,492
You make me sick. Just get out.

331
00:16:51,576 --> 00:16:55,026
I wasn't just trying to get you in bed.
Just give me a second, please.

332
00:16:58,123 --> 00:17:01,919
All right, last spring when
we were together, it was great.

333
00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:04,171
And…

334
00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:08,258
I didn't know how to
handle it, so I ran away.

335
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:10,883
But when I saw you again, it was…

336
00:17:12,762 --> 00:17:16,262
I figured if I could keep the
competition out of the way, then maybe…

337
00:17:17,225 --> 00:17:18,934
You and I, I don't know,

338
00:17:19,018 --> 00:17:20,602
we could be a couple.

339
00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:22,729
Us?

340
00:17:24,106 --> 00:17:25,649
I think I'm in love with you.

341
00:17:34,198 --> 00:17:36,492
You're not saying anything, Roz.

342
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,961
Wait a minute.

343
00:17:49,045 --> 00:17:50,755
I know what you're doing.

344
00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:53,883
-What?
-All this "love" stuff

345
00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:56,093
is just another way to get me into bed.

346
00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:57,637
No, Roz, no.

347
00:17:57,721 --> 00:17:59,554
God, it's the oldest trick in the book.

348
00:17:59,638 --> 00:18:02,641
-Wait a minute, Roz. Wait.
-You're still at it. You're still at it.

349
00:18:02,725 --> 00:18:05,875
-Give up, Bulldog. Give up, Bulldog.
-No, listen, listen, Roz.

350
00:18:09,023 --> 00:18:11,274
-You can't blame a guy for trying, ah?
-No.

351
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,692
-I had you going, huh?
-Yes.

352
00:18:13,776 --> 00:18:16,820
-God.
-All the dishes and the laundry.

353
00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:18,447
-You're the master.
-Yeah.

354
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,951
Oh, I even put childproof
latches on the, uh, cabinets.

355
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:25,135
-Part of my plan to get you in the sack.
-You are such a pig.

356
00:18:28,999 --> 00:18:30,250
Well.

357
00:18:31,293 --> 00:18:32,711
I better be going.

358
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:35,172
Okay.

359
00:18:36,673 --> 00:18:39,132
Thank you for all of your help with Alice.

360
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,593
Oh.

361
00:18:41,469 --> 00:18:43,179
I'll see you, Bob.

362
00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:47,350
See you, Roz.

363
00:19:01,071 --> 00:19:02,405
[KNOCKS]

364
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:07,534
I'm sorry, Mrs. Wozniak, I know
the balcony is not for sex play.

365
00:19:10,162 --> 00:19:11,621
FRASIER: It's Frasier.

366
00:19:11,705 --> 00:19:14,124
And, by the way, charming.

367
00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:18,586
It's open.

368
00:19:18,670 --> 00:19:21,338
I just saw you dash out
of the restaurant with Ted.

369
00:19:21,422 --> 00:19:22,965
My God, what's wrong?

370
00:19:23,049 --> 00:19:25,634
You are not gonna
believe what just happened.

371
00:19:25,718 --> 00:19:28,012
Bulldog just told me he loved me.

372
00:19:28,096 --> 00:19:30,805
-What?
-He made Ted bring me home early.

373
00:19:30,889 --> 00:19:33,433
Turns out he's been
scaring my dates off all week.

374
00:19:33,517 --> 00:19:35,519
Well, what did you say to him?

375
00:19:36,687 --> 00:19:39,480
I tried to let him down easy.

376
00:19:39,564 --> 00:19:41,441
I felt sorry for the guy.

377
00:19:41,525 --> 00:19:42,983
Bulldog.

378
00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:45,527
Wow, he's full of surprises, isn't he?

379
00:19:45,611 --> 00:19:47,488
Who'd have thought?

380
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:51,783
You know what's really weird?

381
00:19:51,867 --> 00:19:53,660
I'm gonna miss him.

382
00:19:53,744 --> 00:19:55,536
Look at this.

383
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:58,414
I never had to worry about Alice.
He kept this place so neat.

384
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:01,334
And it was really nice to have someone…

385
00:20:02,544 --> 00:20:04,546
Someone to come home to.

386
00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:09,758
Well, maybe Bulldog,
in his own clumsy way,

387
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:13,011
gave you a taste of a
more traditional lifestyle.

388
00:20:13,095 --> 00:20:14,638
Yes, I suppose so.

389
00:20:14,722 --> 00:20:16,056
Who knows, Roz?

390
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:19,267
Maybe the time has come you
might be willing to start looking for a…

391
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,019
What? A husband?

392
00:20:21,103 --> 00:20:23,937
-No, I wasn't gonna say that.
-Just because I'm gonna miss Bulldog

393
00:20:24,021 --> 00:20:25,939
doesn't mean I need
to rush and get married.

394
00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:28,150
-Fine.
-Look at this week I've had.

395
00:20:28,234 --> 00:20:31,279
Three guys interested in
me, not to mention Bulldog.

396
00:20:32,321 --> 00:20:34,489
I mean, I'm liking this.

397
00:20:34,573 --> 00:20:36,616
Single life is pretty good.

398
00:20:39,161 --> 00:20:40,328
All right, Roz.

399
00:20:41,621 --> 00:20:43,373
As long as you're okay.

400
00:20:43,457 --> 00:20:45,333
I really appreciate you coming by.

401
00:20:45,417 --> 00:20:46,709
It's okay.

402
00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:47,918
I'll see you tomorrow.

403
00:20:48,461 --> 00:20:50,003
Of course.

404
00:20:50,087 --> 00:20:52,006
-Good night.
-Good night.

405
00:21:25,996 --> 00:21:27,830
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]