1 00:00:02,197 --> 00:00:04,199 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:08,954 --> 00:00:11,206 [FIRE ALARM BEEPING] 3 00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:15,043 FRASIER: Oh, my God! Fire! Fire! 4 00:00:15,127 --> 00:00:18,463 Eddie! Eddie! Where are you, boy? 5 00:00:18,547 --> 00:00:20,799 FRASIER: Dad, wake up! Dad, are you in there? 6 00:00:20,883 --> 00:00:24,302 -Eddie! Here, Eddie! -Dad! Dad, where are you? 7 00:00:24,386 --> 00:00:25,720 -Have you seen Eddie? -No! 8 00:00:25,804 --> 00:00:28,056 What's burning? Where is the fire? 9 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:31,351 -Eddie! -It's all right! It's all right! 10 00:00:31,435 --> 00:00:34,147 False alarm. The one over me bed went off. 11 00:00:34,981 --> 00:00:36,065 Thank God. 12 00:00:36,149 --> 00:00:37,483 DAPHNE: And don't worry about Eddie. 13 00:00:37,567 --> 00:00:41,237 He's back in my room. Oh, the noise the bloody thing makes. 14 00:00:41,321 --> 00:00:43,907 It would be less upsetting to just wake up on fire. 15 00:00:45,867 --> 00:00:48,494 -What the hell triggered it? -Who knows? 16 00:00:48,578 --> 00:00:51,539 I was dozing quite peacefully when it started screaming away 17 00:00:51,623 --> 00:00:52,791 for no reason at all. 18 00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:58,879 FRASIER: I see. What have we here? Eddie? 19 00:00:58,963 --> 00:01:01,466 You've been smoking in Daphne's bedroom. Bad dog! 20 00:01:03,134 --> 00:01:06,220 I know, I know, you have a no-smoking rule. 21 00:01:06,304 --> 00:01:07,430 I'm sorry. 22 00:01:07,514 --> 00:01:10,433 But every now and again, I feel a bit tense, 23 00:01:10,517 --> 00:01:12,727 and I find a ciggy can be very soothing. 24 00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,478 Oh, yeah, it's real soothing. 25 00:01:14,562 --> 00:01:17,812 It should only be about an hour until my heart stops fibrillating. 26 00:01:19,776 --> 00:01:21,652 Oh, it figures… 3 a.m. 27 00:01:21,736 --> 00:01:25,686 Of course this would happen on the night before I have an early-morning meeting. 28 00:01:26,574 --> 00:01:31,245 -Daphne, aren't you going back to bed? -No, I'll just sit up for a bit. 29 00:01:31,329 --> 00:01:32,706 I'm feeling a bit blue. 30 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,626 Anything you'd like to talk about? 31 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:37,669 No, no, you need your sleep. 32 00:01:37,753 --> 00:01:39,713 It's nothing important. 33 00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:42,758 Just this feeling that me life's a gaping sinkhole 34 00:01:42,842 --> 00:01:46,554 and I'm just marking time while the flower of me youth rots on the vine. 35 00:01:49,515 --> 00:01:51,142 Well, so long as you're sure. 36 00:01:54,019 --> 00:01:55,813 [WHIMPERS] 37 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,399 I really wish you'd tell me about it. 38 00:02:00,151 --> 00:02:04,071 Well, if you must know, it's me love life. 39 00:02:04,155 --> 00:02:05,947 Really? You've been seeing a man? 40 00:02:06,031 --> 00:02:08,451 Only when I close me eyes and concentrate. 41 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,872 I see. You're going through a bit of a drought, eh? 42 00:02:13,956 --> 00:02:14,957 Small wonder. 43 00:02:15,708 --> 00:02:19,378 The rare times I do go out, it's usually with your father. 44 00:02:19,462 --> 00:02:23,590 People see us and assume I'm his daughter or else his girlfriend. 45 00:02:23,674 --> 00:02:27,052 Either way, it's like having me own personal can of stud repellent. 46 00:02:27,136 --> 00:02:28,053 Hmm. 47 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:32,432 Yes, well, I know how bleak these times can be, 48 00:02:32,516 --> 00:02:34,768 but believe me, they come to an end sooner or later. 49 00:02:34,852 --> 00:02:36,603 I remember a time back in Boston 50 00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:38,564 I was going through what you're going through. 51 00:02:38,648 --> 00:02:42,235 Just a week later, I met a lovely barmaid, 52 00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:44,488 sophisticated, if a bit loquacious. 53 00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:47,949 We fell madly in love. 54 00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,034 We got engaged. 55 00:02:50,619 --> 00:02:52,829 Of course, she left me standing at the altar, 56 00:02:52,913 --> 00:02:55,207 but the point is, I didn't give up. 57 00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:58,668 I took my poor, battered heart and offered it to Lilith. 58 00:03:03,048 --> 00:03:05,998 She put it in her little Cuisinart and hit the puree button. 59 00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:11,723 I rebounded. And look how far I've come. 60 00:03:12,265 --> 00:03:17,312 I'm divorced, lonely, living with my father. 61 00:03:28,865 --> 00:03:30,867 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 62 00:03:34,246 --> 00:03:36,372 You know, I figured I'd find you here. 63 00:03:36,456 --> 00:03:38,833 You know, you missed your meeting with the new station manager. 64 00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:40,919 Oh, no, I completely forgot. 65 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:44,298 God, you look like you've been ridden hard and put away wet. 66 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:48,135 Yes, well, I was up till all hours of the night with Daphne, 67 00:03:48,219 --> 00:03:51,013 competing to see which of us had the more pathetic love life. 68 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,598 On the bright side, I won. 69 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,351 Well, I know what your problems are. 70 00:03:56,435 --> 00:03:58,187 -What are Daphne's? -Daphne? 71 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,439 Oh, she's just having trouble finding men. 72 00:04:01,732 --> 00:04:02,566 -Oh. -Say no more. 73 00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:04,860 No, Roz, Roz, no, please, really, it's not necessary. 74 00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,905 You do not have to donate one of your boyfriends to Daphne. 75 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,157 Please, I'd be happy to. 76 00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:12,827 No, still, one hates to break up a collection. 77 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:18,832 There you go, triple espresso, and my mocha latte… 78 00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:20,876 Do those chocolate shavings look different to you? 79 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,170 -No. -Well, they do to me. 80 00:04:23,254 --> 00:04:25,965 I think they've switched to an inferior domestic brand. 81 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,303 Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm. 82 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:32,305 Waxy. 83 00:04:34,348 --> 00:04:37,017 Sven Botman. He's an aerobics instructor. 84 00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:38,143 I don't think so. 85 00:04:38,227 --> 00:04:41,104 Oh, oh, this one's perfect. Gunther Dietrich. 86 00:04:41,188 --> 00:04:43,524 Oh, he's loads of fun, and he's a runway model. 87 00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:44,859 A German narcissist? 88 00:04:44,943 --> 00:04:46,593 There's an appealing combination. 89 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:51,950 -Okay, okay, okay, I'll keep looking. -Looking for what? 90 00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:54,536 I'm helping Frasier find a man for Daphne. 91 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:00,375 What? 92 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:04,754 Here we go. He's a tennis instructor, and his name is Brick. 93 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,966 Dear God, Frasier. Sven? Gunther? Brick? 94 00:05:09,092 --> 00:05:11,386 Why not just lather Daphne up with baby oil 95 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,639 and hurl her over the wall of a prison yard? 96 00:05:19,603 --> 00:05:21,771 Excuse me, but I've dated all these guys. 97 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,105 Where do you think I came up with the imagery? 98 00:05:26,318 --> 00:05:28,236 Listen, you little titmouse. 99 00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:31,614 Niles, you are completely out of line, 100 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,325 and, Roz, he does have a point. 101 00:05:33,992 --> 00:05:36,661 You and Daphne are entirely different kinds of women. 102 00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:41,040 While Daphne is very shy and inexperienced, you are more, well, 103 00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:42,792 a lot more, well, you'd be hard-pressed 104 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,211 -to find anyone who's more… -Oh, I get it. 105 00:05:45,295 --> 00:05:47,923 Not one man I've ever dated is good enough for Miss Daphne. 106 00:05:48,007 --> 00:05:49,508 Is that what you're trying to say? 107 00:05:49,592 --> 00:05:53,095 No, that is what I'm trying not to say. You're not making it very easy. 108 00:05:53,179 --> 00:05:54,972 -Oh, I'm out of here. -Oh, Roz, please, wait. 109 00:05:55,056 --> 00:05:57,642 No, I can't stay. The fleet is in. 110 00:06:02,855 --> 00:06:04,899 [SHRILL TONE PLAYING] 111 00:06:12,323 --> 00:06:15,576 And this concludes our test of the Emergency Broadcast System. 112 00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:21,749 Had this been a real emergency, your radio would be melting in your hands. 113 00:06:26,045 --> 00:06:28,131 We'll be right back after these messages. 114 00:06:29,966 --> 00:06:34,470 In the future, please keep your disgusting half-eaten food off my console. 115 00:06:34,554 --> 00:06:35,930 In fact, just stay out of my sight. 116 00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:38,141 You're still mad at me. I can tell. 117 00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:42,561 Ooh, there's that keen sensitivity that keeps you in such demand with the ladies. 118 00:06:42,645 --> 00:06:43,521 FRASIER: Oh… 119 00:06:45,732 --> 00:06:49,652 Look, Roz, I'm sorry if I insulted you earlier, but the truth is, 120 00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:51,738 I feel very protective about Daphne. 121 00:06:51,822 --> 00:06:56,159 The kind of man I'm looking for has to be good-looking, smart, successful… 122 00:06:56,243 --> 00:06:58,703 -Excuse me. -FRASIER: Yes? 123 00:06:58,787 --> 00:07:02,165 -I'm Tom Duran, the new station manager. -Oh, Tom, hi. 124 00:07:02,249 --> 00:07:03,458 It's a pleasure to meet you. 125 00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:06,211 I'm so sorry about missing the meeting. I slept right through it. 126 00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,047 Oh, yeah, me too. And I was there. 127 00:07:08,922 --> 00:07:11,633 -Say, that's a beautiful tie. -Oh, thank you. 128 00:07:11,717 --> 00:07:14,469 Yes, I got this in London at one of those custom shops. 129 00:07:14,553 --> 00:07:16,096 It was just off of Sloane Square. 130 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:17,389 I just came from London. 131 00:07:17,473 --> 00:07:19,557 I spent the last five years there working for the BBC. 132 00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:22,019 Really? Yes, I love London. 133 00:07:22,728 --> 00:07:25,480 -The museums, the theater… -Oh, yeah, I'm a big theater buff. 134 00:07:25,564 --> 00:07:27,023 Three shows a week. 135 00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:29,901 -I hated leaving. -Well, I can imagine. Why did you? 136 00:07:29,985 --> 00:07:32,696 Well, I just kind of went through a messy breakup. 137 00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:35,532 I thought I'd sleep better with a continent between us. 138 00:07:36,366 --> 00:07:37,659 Yes, I know the feeling. 139 00:07:41,663 --> 00:07:45,125 So… I take it, then, you're unattached? 140 00:07:45,209 --> 00:07:47,127 Uh, yes, but I haven't given up hope. 141 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:50,422 Well, you may have come to the right place. 142 00:07:50,506 --> 00:07:52,549 -Really? -Yes. 143 00:07:53,426 --> 00:07:56,095 -You say you're very fond of the English? -TOM: Oh, yes, very much. 144 00:07:56,179 --> 00:07:58,180 You know, I think I've always had a weakness for people 145 00:07:58,264 --> 00:08:00,057 who are just a little eccentric. 146 00:08:00,141 --> 00:08:01,892 -Really? -ROZ: Fifteen seconds. 147 00:08:01,976 --> 00:08:03,519 -Oh. -It was nice meeting you. 148 00:08:03,603 --> 00:08:04,770 Likewise, Tom. 149 00:08:04,854 --> 00:08:07,440 Oh, say, Tom, this may sound like short notice, 150 00:08:07,524 --> 00:08:10,568 but if you're not busy Saturday, why don't you come by my place for dinner? 151 00:08:10,652 --> 00:08:12,403 -Nothing fancy. -Oh, thanks. I'd like that. 152 00:08:12,487 --> 00:08:13,321 FRASIER: Great. 153 00:08:15,907 --> 00:08:19,410 Hello, Seattle, we're back. Roz, whom do we have up next? 154 00:08:19,494 --> 00:08:21,788 ROZ: We have James from Tacoma on line one. 155 00:08:22,372 --> 00:08:24,415 FRASIER: Hello, James, I'm listening. 156 00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:27,126 -JAMES: I'm glad you're listening… -Hey, Roz. 157 00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,169 Oh, hey, Tom. 158 00:08:28,837 --> 00:08:30,838 Boy, it's the same every job I take. 159 00:08:30,922 --> 00:08:32,965 Word spreads like wildfire. 160 00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:34,050 Oh, what's that? 161 00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:37,094 Oh, you know, you tell one or two people you're gay, 162 00:08:37,178 --> 00:08:40,140 and before you can blink, it's all over the station. 163 00:08:41,099 --> 00:08:43,809 Well, they don't call it "broadcasting" for nothing. 164 00:08:43,893 --> 00:08:45,293 You're not paying attention. 165 00:08:46,312 --> 00:08:49,440 -He seems like a nice guy. -Oh, he's okay. 166 00:08:49,524 --> 00:08:52,777 Well, I hope he's more than okay. He just asked me out on a date. 167 00:08:58,784 --> 00:09:00,786 Frasier just asked you out on a date? 168 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,537 He asked me to his place for dinner. 169 00:09:02,621 --> 00:09:05,082 So I wanted to ask you, is there any particular wine he likes? 170 00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:07,584 There's something you need to know about Frasier. 171 00:09:07,668 --> 00:09:08,669 What? 172 00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:13,716 -He's nuts about Chardonnay. -Thanks. 173 00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:24,768 DAPHNE: Does he ask permission first? 174 00:09:24,852 --> 00:09:28,271 Oh, no, he just barges in and says he set me up with God knows who, 175 00:09:28,355 --> 00:09:31,455 and I'm supposed to turn cartwheels like I'm bloody Cinderella. 176 00:09:31,859 --> 00:09:34,027 Daphne, will you please relax? 177 00:09:34,111 --> 00:09:36,154 Look, I told you, this is not a setup. 178 00:09:36,238 --> 00:09:39,199 -Tom doesn't even know you'll be here. -Oh, an ambush, then. 179 00:09:39,283 --> 00:09:40,492 Much nicer. 180 00:09:41,744 --> 00:09:44,746 Me girlfriends in Manchester used to set me up all the time. 181 00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:48,291 And it was always some gangly bounder with a boardinghouse reach. 182 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:52,025 And he wasn't going for the Colman's hot mustard, if you know what I mean. 183 00:09:52,129 --> 00:09:56,174 Keep in mind that Tom is just a coworker coming by for a pleasant little dinner. 184 00:09:56,258 --> 00:09:57,759 If some sparks should ignite, fine. 185 00:09:57,843 --> 00:10:00,221 But there is no pressure, absolutely no pressure. 186 00:10:00,305 --> 00:10:01,705 Is that what you're wearing? 187 00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,059 -What's wrong with it? -[DOORBELL RINGS] 188 00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:07,395 FRASIER: Don't you have something with a little more oomph? 189 00:10:07,479 --> 00:10:10,774 I mean, what about that… Oh, that strapless number you have? 190 00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:16,947 Do you have any idea how uncomfortable a strapless bra is? 191 00:10:17,614 --> 00:10:20,664 Well, thanks to my fraternity days, as a matter of fact, I do. 192 00:10:25,622 --> 00:10:27,623 -Tom, come on in. -Hi, Frasier. 193 00:10:27,707 --> 00:10:29,292 -Good to see you. -Oh, I don't know. 194 00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:33,046 -Something told me you'd like Chardonnay. -Oh, my, that's my favorite. 195 00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:37,925 -So, what do you think of the place? -That's a hell of a view. 196 00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:39,803 It's even better from the bedroom. 197 00:10:45,725 --> 00:10:47,575 Why don't we just start with a drink? 198 00:10:48,728 --> 00:10:50,313 Oh. 199 00:10:50,939 --> 00:10:52,690 TOM: Oh, four places. Who's joining us? 200 00:10:52,774 --> 00:10:54,483 Oh, well, just my, uh, little household. 201 00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:58,613 My father and his physical therapist, charming Daphne. 202 00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:00,573 You live with your dad? 203 00:11:00,657 --> 00:11:01,657 Mm. 204 00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:03,785 Ugh. I can't even imagine that. 205 00:11:03,869 --> 00:11:05,871 I think it's great that you get along so well, 206 00:11:05,955 --> 00:11:09,666 but doesn't having him here kind of put a crimp in your love life? 207 00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:12,085 Not at all. No, well, except when I bring my dates home, 208 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:13,629 he tries to steal them. 209 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:22,138 He's quite the old rascal. 210 00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:25,307 DAPHNE: Good evening. 211 00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,561 Oh, well, look who we have here. Hmm. 212 00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:32,356 Tom, I'd like you to meet Daphne. 213 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,524 Daphne, this is Tom Duran. 214 00:11:34,608 --> 00:11:36,693 -Pleasure to meet you. -Likewise. 215 00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:38,612 Dr. Crane, you didn't take his coat. 216 00:11:38,696 --> 00:11:39,947 -Oh, sorry. -May I? 217 00:11:41,824 --> 00:11:44,827 [BOTH MOUTHING] 218 00:11:48,164 --> 00:11:50,457 Oh, this is strange. 219 00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:52,668 I'm picking up a vibration from your coat. 220 00:11:52,752 --> 00:11:53,669 TOM: Excuse me? 221 00:11:53,753 --> 00:11:56,672 Yes, well, Daphne feels that she possesses psychic powers. 222 00:11:56,756 --> 00:11:58,882 You know those English eccentrics. 223 00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:02,761 Oh, you've just been through a very painful breakup, haven't you? 224 00:12:02,845 --> 00:12:03,971 Yes! 225 00:12:04,055 --> 00:12:05,807 -Wait a minute, you told her that. -No. 226 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:09,477 There was a bitter dispute about ownership of opera recordings. 227 00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:10,562 Whoa. 228 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,858 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll nip into the kitchen. 229 00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:17,778 -I have a bird to baste. -Mm-hm. 230 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,324 -Quite something, isn't she? -Oh, she's great. 231 00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:25,243 I love hearing that accent again. 232 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:28,830 Hey, Frasier, I don't have to put a tie on for this joker, do I? 233 00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:35,670 Tom, this is my father, Martin Crane. 234 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,005 Tom Duran. Nice to meet you. 235 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,048 Oh, yeah, sorry about that joker business. 236 00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:41,259 I call everybody "joker" or "jerk." 237 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,513 "Pinhead." "Bozo." 238 00:12:45,555 --> 00:12:48,392 Amazingly, he's free for dinner on short notice. 239 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,603 Why don't I just open some of this wonderful wine? 240 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:56,024 -Well? -Oh, he's a looker. 241 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,568 -Mm-hm. -I'm glad you made me put on me lucky bra. 242 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,154 He's worth every wire digging into me rib cage. 243 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,282 Yes, you made quite an impression on him too. 244 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,325 He thinks you're great. 245 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,617 Oh, go on. 246 00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:09,872 Oh, ho, ho, God, listen to me, getting carried away 247 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,915 like a schoolgirl when I just met the man. 248 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,626 No, I'm not raising me hopes tonight. 249 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,587 Though I'm glad I raised me bosom. 250 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,757 Let me tell you, you're gonna love Seattle. 251 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,300 It's a real people place. 252 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,802 -Good food, great bars. -I've heard that. 253 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:24,845 Any you recommend? 254 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,764 Yeah, I usually hang out at a place called Duke's. 255 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,932 Great crowd. A lot of young cops. 256 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,143 Mm. 257 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,231 Say, you like football? 258 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,692 Yeah, I really missed it when I was living in London. 259 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,445 Well, maybe we could take in a Seahawk game sometime. 260 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,572 Frasier hates it, so it'd just be us. 261 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,657 Hey, Frasier warned me about you. 262 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:46,941 MARTIN: [CHUCKLING] Oh… 263 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,622 Yeah, I guess I yell at the players too loud. 264 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,541 Here we are, Tom. 265 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,379 Dad, I took the liberty of selecting an amusing little vintage for you too. 266 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:01,213 Sorry I didn't bring the pull tab so you could sniff it. 267 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,635 -Merci beaucoops. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 268 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:05,803 Oh, excuse me. 269 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,144 Oh, Niles. 270 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:14,771 Hello, Frasier. Oh, thank you. 271 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,192 -Just stopped by to return your book. -FRASIER: Well, thank you. 272 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,028 -Don't let me keep you. -Oh. 273 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,530 Am I interrupting something? 274 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,533 Niles, as a matter of fact, I'm introducing a man to Daphne. 275 00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:29,536 -Oh, guess you don't want me around, then. -Thank you. 276 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,079 How do you do? 277 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,291 I'm Dr. Niles Crane. 278 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,419 -Hi, I'm Tom Duran. -DAPHNE: The bird's all done. 279 00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:41,297 All I need is a pair of big strong arms to haul it out of the oven. 280 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,717 Well, I certainly don't need to be asked twice. 281 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:55,478 So halfway through the interview, her stomach starts rumbling. 282 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,439 And her body mike's picking it up, 283 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,233 but I have to ignore it, because what am I gonna say? 284 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,903 Excuse me, would Her Majesty care for a Tums? 285 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,200 Oh, I could listen to your stories all night. 286 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,869 They're so funny. 287 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,871 And all involving bodily functions. 288 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:15,792 [FRASIER CLEARS THROAT] 289 00:15:18,962 --> 00:15:21,589 Tom, I could use a little hand in the kitchen. 290 00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,382 No, no, sit, Daphne. 291 00:15:23,466 --> 00:15:26,302 After all that cooking, you must be absolutely strapless. 292 00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,856 Uh, Niles, can I speak with you for a moment? 293 00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:39,857 Yes. 294 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:43,402 I was wondering, did I do anything that offended you? 295 00:15:43,486 --> 00:15:44,362 No. 296 00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:48,449 Oh. Must be all in my head. 297 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:51,327 But I sensed that you had a problem with me dating Frasier. 298 00:15:51,411 --> 00:15:52,704 Well, if you must know… 299 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,591 I'm sorry, what was the question? 300 00:16:07,093 --> 00:16:09,804 Do you have some problem with me dating your brother? 301 00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:14,517 No. 302 00:16:17,604 --> 00:16:19,940 Now, Niles, I didn't ask Tom to dinner so he'd end up 303 00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:21,775 talking to you all night in the kitchen. 304 00:16:21,859 --> 00:16:24,559 There are others who would like to have a crack at him. 305 00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:40,418 Hey, that Tom's a great guy, huh? 306 00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:42,837 You think maybe him and Daphne, uh… 307 00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:44,298 [CHORTLES] 308 00:16:46,925 --> 00:16:50,512 You know, I can't remember the last time I had such a wonderful evening. 309 00:16:50,596 --> 00:16:52,305 Oh, no, we should be thanking you. 310 00:16:52,389 --> 00:16:54,641 I can't remember when I've laughed so hard. 311 00:16:54,725 --> 00:16:56,727 [MARTIN GUFFAWING] 312 00:17:02,232 --> 00:17:03,984 You've still got Mr. Crane going. 313 00:17:05,611 --> 00:17:08,363 Daphne, I think a little after-dinner music might be appropriate. 314 00:17:08,447 --> 00:17:09,448 Good idea. 315 00:17:13,369 --> 00:17:15,454 She's quite a woman, isn't she? 316 00:17:16,038 --> 00:17:18,290 Yes, she's… She's really something. 317 00:17:18,832 --> 00:17:21,002 -Uh, Frasier, I was wondering… -Yes? 318 00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:25,924 Do you think before the evening's over we could get a little one-on-one time? 319 00:17:27,342 --> 00:17:29,636 Oh, I think I can arrange that. 320 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,183 -Daphne! -What? 321 00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:38,144 -He says he wants to be alone with you. -DAPHNE: No! 322 00:17:38,228 --> 00:17:39,812 -Yes! -This really is me lucky bra. 323 00:17:39,896 --> 00:17:41,814 Keep the wine flowing. I'll go fix me lipstick. 324 00:17:41,898 --> 00:17:42,732 Okay. 325 00:17:43,566 --> 00:17:46,361 Yeah, I guess I'd better be hitting the old sack. 326 00:17:48,488 --> 00:17:51,074 I don't wanna stand in the way of young romance. 327 00:17:52,325 --> 00:17:53,200 Thanks, Dad. 328 00:17:53,284 --> 00:17:55,411 -MARTIN: Good night, Tom. -Good night, Martin. 329 00:17:55,495 --> 00:17:57,747 [ELEGANT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO] 330 00:17:57,831 --> 00:18:00,291 I think it's time that you be running along too. 331 00:18:00,375 --> 00:18:02,501 Yes, I must be on my way. And I must apologize. 332 00:18:02,585 --> 00:18:03,836 I was wrong about Tom. 333 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,881 If I had to choose a man for Daphne, he's the one I'd pick. 334 00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:09,759 -Good night, Tom. Nice to meet you. -Good night. 335 00:18:09,843 --> 00:18:13,193 -FRASIER: I'll show you out. -Mm-hmm. Frasier, a word in your ear? 336 00:18:13,805 --> 00:18:15,724 Oh. Uh, excuse me. 337 00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:21,563 There's something I have to tell you. Dad wanted to, but I won the coin toss. 338 00:18:27,027 --> 00:18:27,861 Yes? What is it? 339 00:18:27,945 --> 00:18:29,988 Well, I had a little chat with Tom in the kitchen, 340 00:18:30,072 --> 00:18:33,033 and he told me he's interested in pursuing a romantic relationship, 341 00:18:33,117 --> 00:18:35,869 but the object of his affections is not Daphne. 342 00:18:35,953 --> 00:18:37,288 Damn that Roz! 343 00:18:38,372 --> 00:18:40,499 No, no. It's you. 344 00:18:44,837 --> 00:18:45,962 Me? 345 00:18:46,046 --> 00:18:48,048 Well, that's impossible. Tom's not gay. 346 00:18:48,132 --> 00:18:50,232 Well, he seems to be under that impression. 347 00:18:53,971 --> 00:18:54,972 Well… 348 00:18:57,141 --> 00:18:59,309 What could have made him think that I was interested in him? 349 00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:01,228 All I did was ask him if he was attached, 350 00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:04,962 and then we talked about the theater and men's fashions and… Oh, my God. 351 00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:11,618 -Niles, do you realize what this means? -Yes, you're dating your boss. 352 00:19:16,994 --> 00:19:20,664 You, of all people, should know the pitfalls of an office relationship. 353 00:19:22,082 --> 00:19:25,085 Yes, but he didn't say anything. He never mentioned the fact that… 354 00:19:25,169 --> 00:19:28,006 I'll call you tomorrow, but not too early, of course. 355 00:19:44,898 --> 00:19:46,233 So… 356 00:19:47,526 --> 00:19:48,443 So… 357 00:19:50,403 --> 00:19:52,072 God, I hate this song. 358 00:19:53,114 --> 00:19:56,993 You know, I've broken my rule for you. I usually don't date guys I work with. 359 00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:58,369 [MUSIC STOPS] 360 00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:01,248 Yes, well, I've sort of relaxed my rule for you too. 361 00:20:12,092 --> 00:20:14,010 You're cute when you're nervous. 362 00:20:18,849 --> 00:20:21,142 Yes, well, I must be downright adorable now. 363 00:20:23,728 --> 00:20:24,980 Listen, Tom, uh… 364 00:20:27,107 --> 00:20:30,736 I'm sorry, but we seem to have gotten our lines crossed here. Uh… 365 00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:35,157 The truth is I'm entirely straight. 366 00:20:36,117 --> 00:20:38,827 Hey, if you're not interested, just say so. 367 00:20:38,911 --> 00:20:40,830 No, no, it's true. I really am. 368 00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:44,082 I just invited you to dinner because you seemed so charming 369 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:46,126 and you were so fond of the British, 370 00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,630 I thought you might be the perfect man for Daphne. 371 00:20:49,714 --> 00:20:51,632 Oh, I can't believe this. 372 00:20:51,716 --> 00:20:53,801 You really had no idea that I'm gay? 373 00:21:05,479 --> 00:21:09,400 Don't take this wrong, but it never even occurred to me that you might be gay. 374 00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:13,117 Well, it never even occurred to me that you might be straight. 375 00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:16,032 Thank you. 376 00:21:18,701 --> 00:21:20,953 Jeez, Tom, you know, I feel just awful. 377 00:21:21,495 --> 00:21:23,580 It seems I've just been leading you on all night. 378 00:21:23,664 --> 00:21:25,290 Oh, it's okay. 379 00:21:25,374 --> 00:21:26,375 Honest mistake. 380 00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,836 Yes, but I've been pouring you drinks, building up your hopes, 381 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,879 making you think you might have found a man 382 00:21:30,963 --> 00:21:32,798 sophisticated and sensitive enough to help you… 383 00:21:32,882 --> 00:21:35,218 Frasier, I'll learn to love again. 384 00:21:35,302 --> 00:21:37,220 Ah. Yes, of course. 385 00:21:37,304 --> 00:21:39,597 Uh, you'll apologize to Daphne? 386 00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:41,058 For the rest of my days. 387 00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:44,937 Does this mean your dad's not gay either? 388 00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,733 No, no, Dad's not gay. 389 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,070 But Niles… Come on. 390 00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,745 -No, I'm afraid not. -Huh. 391 00:22:02,663 --> 00:22:05,915 So wait a minute, this Maris guy he kept mentioning is a woman? 392 00:22:05,999 --> 00:22:09,127 Well… the jury's still out on that one. 393 00:22:15,801 --> 00:22:16,885 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 394 00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:19,668 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 395 00:22:19,752 --> 00:22:22,099 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 396 00:22:22,683 --> 00:22:23,892 Oh, my. 397 00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:26,395 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 398 00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:28,897 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 399 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:31,149 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 400 00:22:31,233 --> 00:22:32,650 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 401 00:22:32,734 --> 00:22:36,239 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 402 00:22:37,115 --> 00:22:39,742 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 403 00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:42,662 Frasier has left the building.