1
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:13,835
WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Um, you see, Dr. Crane,
there's a man I'd like to go out with.
2
00:00:13,919 --> 00:00:17,257
But he's 40 years old and
he's never been married.
3
00:00:17,882 --> 00:00:19,550
Do you think that means something?
4
00:00:19,634 --> 00:00:22,011
Well, it could mean he
has a fear of commitment,
5
00:00:22,095 --> 00:00:26,100
or it could mean he's just been lucky.
[CHUCKLES]
6
00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:28,978
Marie, that was a joke.
7
00:00:30,021 --> 00:00:32,357
Did I mention I'm calling from a payphone?
8
00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:35,276
Oh, well, all right, Marie. Um…
9
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,907
I would say give him a shot,
but I'd keep that caution bulb lit.
10
00:00:39,991 --> 00:00:41,325
Thank you for your call, Marie.
11
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:42,784
Who's next, Roz?
12
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:45,622
If you ask me, it's divorced
people you have to watch out for.
13
00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:48,416
If someone's never been married, it
might just mean they're a careful shopper,
14
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:51,128
whereas your divorcee will
bite into any old piece of fruit
15
00:00:51,212 --> 00:00:53,464
without even giving it a squeeze first.
16
00:00:54,507 --> 00:00:58,887
The preceding was an unbiased opinion
from my never-been-married producer Roz,
17
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:03,018
who, incidentally, has squeezed
more fruit than Tropicana.
18
00:01:06,938 --> 00:01:08,439
May we take another call, please?
19
00:01:08,523 --> 00:01:10,567
We could, but it's
time for a station break.
20
00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:13,738
Oh, oh, well, then, we'll
be right back after this.
21
00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:18,618
-Roz, didn't we just take a break?
-The lot was full this morning.
22
00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:20,119
I had to park at a meter.
I'll be right back.
23
00:01:20,203 --> 00:01:21,454
All right. Fine. Just hurry.
24
00:01:21,538 --> 00:01:22,831
Do I have headphone hair?
25
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,667
Well, I may have to flirt my
way out of a parking ticket.
26
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,335
-Just go!
-Okay! Okay!
27
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:27,253
Wow!
28
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,130
[ROZ SHOUTING]
29
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,715
-Ow, ow, ow.
-FRASIER: Are you all right?
30
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,499
I got the wind knocked out
of me, but I guess I'm okay.
31
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,178
Ow, my ankle!
32
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,641
-FRASIER: Here, Roz, does this hurt?
-[YELLS]
33
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:39,892
All right.
There's no nerve damage, at least.
34
00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,477
Still, she ought to have an X-ray.
35
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,522
-Easy, now, Roz.
-Frasier, Frasier, the show.
36
00:01:43,606 --> 00:01:44,982
I'll get someone to fill in for you.
37
00:01:45,066 --> 00:01:47,234
-I mean right now. You've got dead air.
-Oh, God…
38
00:01:47,318 --> 00:01:48,778
[SHOUTING]
39
00:01:50,238 --> 00:01:51,155
Take the shoe off.
40
00:01:51,239 --> 00:01:53,199
[GROANING]
41
00:01:53,283 --> 00:01:55,159
-Oh, dear.
-What is it?
42
00:01:55,243 --> 00:01:57,593
I see it's been a while
since our last pedicure.
43
00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:07,507
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
44
00:02:07,591 --> 00:02:09,135
-Who is it?
-It's Frasier.
45
00:02:09,219 --> 00:02:10,178
It's open.
46
00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:14,599
Hi, Roz.
How were things at the emergency room?
47
00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:16,059
Frustrating.
48
00:02:16,143 --> 00:02:17,561
You know how it is.
49
00:02:17,645 --> 00:02:19,271
You're sitting there in complete agony
50
00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:23,068
and every crybaby with a gunshot
wound waltzes right in ahead of you.
51
00:02:24,569 --> 00:02:26,070
How was it after I left?
52
00:02:26,154 --> 00:02:29,104
It was okay. Weird Bruce from
Engineering took over for you.
53
00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:30,909
That's quite a boot collection.
54
00:02:30,993 --> 00:02:33,843
Wouldn't it be easier just to
put notches in your bedpost?
55
00:02:35,206 --> 00:02:36,250
Those are mine.
56
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:39,127
You hate the way I've
decorated, don't you?
57
00:02:39,211 --> 00:02:42,882
No, no, matter of fact,
I admire your courage.
58
00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:48,095
-Is that for me?
-Oh, yes.
59
00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:50,974
Freud said that there are only two
things we need to make us happy,
60
00:02:51,058 --> 00:02:52,184
work and love.
61
00:02:52,268 --> 00:02:55,147
Oh, thanks, Frasier.
62
00:02:56,022 --> 00:02:57,524
So you brought me work.
63
00:02:59,276 --> 00:03:00,652
Well, I thought answering
some of the fan mail
64
00:03:00,736 --> 00:03:02,696
that had been piling up would
give you something to do.
65
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:05,480
And remember this time,
death threats don't get photos.
66
00:03:07,577 --> 00:03:08,620
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
67
00:03:08,704 --> 00:03:09,579
Who is it?
68
00:03:09,663 --> 00:03:12,749
-It's Bulldog!
-Shh. Pretend we're not here.
69
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:14,626
Roz, you just said, "Who is it?"
70
00:03:19,215 --> 00:03:20,925
-Hey, Doc.
-Hey, Dog!
71
00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:23,136
Hey, Roz. Wow!
72
00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:25,264
The whole place is a bedroom. [BARKS]
73
00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:29,102
What are you doing here?
74
00:03:29,186 --> 00:03:31,979
Well, I kind of feel responsible
for you being on the disabled list,
75
00:03:32,063 --> 00:03:33,564
so I brought you some deli.
76
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,985
Nothing says "I'm sorry" like fatty meat.
77
00:03:38,237 --> 00:03:41,157
We got your pastrami, coleslaw…
78
00:03:41,742 --> 00:03:43,292
Okay, where's the French fries?
79
00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:45,704
I ordered French fries. This stinks!
80
00:03:45,788 --> 00:03:46,705
This is total BS!
81
00:03:46,789 --> 00:03:48,124
Dave Vermoyan's gonna…
82
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:49,108
Oh, here they are.
83
00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:54,870
And to think he does
it all without steroids.
84
00:03:56,258 --> 00:03:59,094
-You want me to stick these in the oven?
-Actually, I'm not really very hungry.
85
00:03:59,178 --> 00:04:01,389
Ah.
Then I guess you're not thirsty either.
86
00:04:01,473 --> 00:04:02,923
Glasses are on the top shelf.
87
00:04:04,059 --> 00:04:06,018
None for me, Bulldog.
I'm off to the opera.
88
00:04:06,102 --> 00:04:07,395
You can't leave!
89
00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:08,897
Hey, no ice cubes.
90
00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:11,692
Just chip whatever you can
off the edge of the freezer.
91
00:04:13,027 --> 00:04:14,738
If you leave me, he'll hit on me.
92
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,657
-Roz, with a sprained ankle?
-You know what it's like in the jungle.
93
00:04:17,741 --> 00:04:19,841
They always go after
the sick and the lame.
94
00:04:20,202 --> 00:04:21,454
[POUNDING IN KITCHEN]
95
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:24,165
Roz, I'd like to stay, but I'm
meeting people at the opera.
96
00:04:24,249 --> 00:04:25,416
I've got the tickets.
97
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:26,584
BULLDOG: Here we go.
98
00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:31,010
I'll get you more ice in a minute when
the feeling in my forehead comes back.
99
00:04:31,966 --> 00:04:33,633
Well, curtain's going up.
100
00:04:33,717 --> 00:04:37,096
Listen, Roz, if you need anything,
feel free to call me absolutely any time.
101
00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:39,307
Well, except for the next
three hours, of course.
102
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:40,224
I'm at the opera.
103
00:04:40,308 --> 00:04:43,020
Oh, no, no, no, four hours.
It's Wagner. Um…
104
00:04:43,896 --> 00:04:46,148
Oh, then I've got a late
supper and then right to bed.
105
00:04:46,232 --> 00:04:47,776
I've got an early squash game.
106
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,444
Tell you what, let's just say call me
107
00:04:49,528 --> 00:04:51,828
absolutely any time after
4 tomorrow afternoon.
108
00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:57,620
Hey, this is nice.
109
00:04:57,704 --> 00:04:59,454
You and me having a drink together.
110
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:02,000
Yeah, it's been fun.
111
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:02,918
Bye.
112
00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:05,879
How come you only painted two toenails?
113
00:05:05,963 --> 00:05:08,841
[SIGHS] Because it hurts
too much when I reach.
114
00:05:08,925 --> 00:05:10,551
You want me to finish them for you?
115
00:05:10,635 --> 00:05:12,345
Oh, no, please. It's okay.
116
00:05:12,429 --> 00:05:13,429
Hey, it's a nice color.
117
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:16,099
-It goes with the bruise.
-No, Bulldog, I mean it.
118
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,311
-Stop it!
-Hey, you got nice feet.
119
00:05:19,395 --> 00:05:22,690
-Really? You don't think they're too big?
-You kidding?
120
00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:25,024
I could get this whole
thing in my mouth easy.
121
00:05:32,285 --> 00:05:35,289
You know, it's really nice
of you to do all this for me.
122
00:05:35,831 --> 00:05:38,250
It's kind of surreal, but nice.
123
00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:40,545
Well, I figure if I'm nice to you,
124
00:05:41,171 --> 00:05:42,547
maybe you'll be nice to me.
125
00:05:42,631 --> 00:05:44,674
I knew it! I knew it!
126
00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:48,303
You come over here acting all sympathetic,
but you're still the same old horny,
127
00:05:48,387 --> 00:05:50,931
low-class slimeball you've always been!
128
00:05:51,015 --> 00:05:53,615
Before you say something
that ends up offending me
129
00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:57,689
look, all I wanted to ask you is if…
130
00:05:58,857 --> 00:06:00,907
You'd be interested in producing my show.
131
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,653
What?
132
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,364
Yeah, I'm not real crazy about
the guy I got now and let's face it,
133
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,200
you're the best producer there is.
134
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,453
-Do you really think I'm the best?
-Hey, that goes without saying.
135
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,416
Well, Frasier goes
without saying it every day.
136
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:17,500
Well, you don't have to answer right now.
Just take your time and think about it.
137
00:06:18,088 --> 00:06:19,213
But I gotta warn you,
138
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:21,397
when I set my mind on something, I get it.
139
00:06:22,093 --> 00:06:24,845
I once wanted to interview George Foreman.
140
00:06:24,929 --> 00:06:26,515
He said no, but I got him.
141
00:06:27,641 --> 00:06:30,291
I had to paint his toenails
four times, but I got him.
142
00:06:33,856 --> 00:06:36,191
You've been wrapping
your bandage too tight.
143
00:06:36,275 --> 00:06:39,153
You've got to keep the blood
flowing to the injured ligaments.
144
00:06:39,237 --> 00:06:41,407
Daphne, that feels great.
145
00:06:41,949 --> 00:06:44,117
Whatever Frasier's
paying you, it's not enough.
146
00:06:44,201 --> 00:06:46,955
Actually, I'd need a raise
to get me to "not enough."
147
00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:51,667
-Hey, Roz.
-Hey, Martin, what's going on?
148
00:06:51,751 --> 00:06:54,671
Oh, Niles bought me some new shoes.
149
00:06:54,755 --> 00:06:56,423
Oh, yes, look.
150
00:06:56,507 --> 00:06:57,842
They have tassels.
151
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:01,179
Aren't they exquisite?
152
00:07:01,263 --> 00:07:03,514
Those shoes were individually handmade
153
00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:06,811
by an artisan toiling in a
hilltop village above Florence.
154
00:07:07,645 --> 00:07:10,564
The man is a hero there.
155
00:07:10,648 --> 00:07:13,068
It's an event when he
completes a pair of shoes.
156
00:07:13,152 --> 00:07:16,052
They ring the cathedral bell
and the whole town celebrates.
157
00:07:17,823 --> 00:07:19,923
There's a town that needs a bowling alley.
158
00:07:22,996 --> 00:07:24,038
Good evening, all.
159
00:07:24,122 --> 00:07:25,331
-NILES: Hello.
-Hey, Frasier.
160
00:07:25,415 --> 00:07:27,626
Oh, Roz, Roz, did you hear the show today?
161
00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:29,586
I was at the top of my form!
162
00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:32,570
I did a brilliant job of cutting
a narcissist down to size.
163
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:36,053
Well, thank you, Niles.
164
00:07:36,553 --> 00:07:39,098
So… Oh, Dad, new shoes?
165
00:07:39,182 --> 00:07:41,100
Do I hear cathedral bells?
166
00:07:43,978 --> 00:07:45,730
Ring-a-ding-ding!
167
00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:51,319
Oh, Roz, I also wanted to
apologize for leaving you last night.
168
00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:54,198
Hope you didn't spend the whole
evening fending off Bulldog's advances.
169
00:07:54,282 --> 00:07:56,200
Oh, no, Bulldog's not so bad.
170
00:07:56,284 --> 00:07:57,994
Actually, we had a good time.
171
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,497
Oh?
172
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,125
What "Oh?"
173
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,921
Well, I couldn't help noticing
he came into work this morning
174
00:08:07,005 --> 00:08:09,205
wearing the same clothes
he had on yesterday.
175
00:08:10,008 --> 00:08:11,134
Oh?
176
00:08:12,428 --> 00:08:13,679
What's going on?
177
00:08:13,763 --> 00:08:15,463
Roz slept with Bulldog last night.
178
00:08:18,392 --> 00:08:19,686
I did not!
179
00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,354
How could you think that?
180
00:08:21,438 --> 00:08:24,274
Well, I mean, dropping
by, bringing you a little gift.
181
00:08:24,358 --> 00:08:25,985
It was obvious he was after something.
182
00:08:26,069 --> 00:08:27,403
DAPHNE: Well, that's not fair.
183
00:08:27,487 --> 00:08:30,031
Dr. Crane is always dropping
by and bringing me little gifts,
184
00:08:30,115 --> 00:08:31,699
and he's not after anything.
185
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,174
I did not sleep with Bulldog.
186
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,009
He didn't even hit on me.
187
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,677
He did want something, though.
188
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,180
He wanted me to leave you
and come be his new producer.
189
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,142
Oh, well, I wonder why he said that.
190
00:08:54,226 --> 00:08:56,228
[CHUCKLING]
191
00:08:59,107 --> 00:09:00,775
Because he really wants me.
192
00:09:00,859 --> 00:09:03,009
Yes, well, I think that
goes without saying.
193
00:09:04,279 --> 00:09:05,447
For his show.
194
00:09:05,531 --> 00:09:08,450
Oh, Roz, Bulldog knows the
blunt approach won't work with you,
195
00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:11,704
so he's being more subtle.
But his ultimate goal remains to…
196
00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:13,873
-Well, to…
-To what?
197
00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:15,792
To play Aneas to your Dido.
198
00:09:21,674 --> 00:09:23,624
I'm sorry you had to hear that, Daphne.
199
00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:26,387
Oh, that's all right.
200
00:09:26,471 --> 00:09:29,621
As usual, I haven't the foggiest
idea what you're talking about.
201
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:34,105
ROZ: You know, this is so insulting.
202
00:09:34,189 --> 00:09:36,440
You think Bulldog wants
me to come work for him
203
00:09:36,524 --> 00:09:38,235
because he wants to get me into his bed.
204
00:09:38,319 --> 00:09:40,654
It doesn't even occur to you
that he thinks I'm a good producer.
205
00:09:40,738 --> 00:09:43,156
Roz, don't you think you're
being just a tad naive?
206
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,867
I'll tell you what naive is.
207
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,869
Naive is someone who
thinks he can stand there
208
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:49,914
and talk to me like that without
getting a crutch up his butt!
209
00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:52,417
Roz, I can see how he's manipulating you.
210
00:09:52,501 --> 00:09:54,837
-I'm an expert in human behavior.
-Oh, really?
211
00:09:54,921 --> 00:09:58,049
Excuse me. I've heard your expert advice.
212
00:09:58,133 --> 00:10:01,720
The only mental disorder
you've ever cured is insomnia.
213
00:10:04,891 --> 00:10:07,143
Well, I'm surprised
you had time to listen.
214
00:10:07,227 --> 00:10:10,062
What with being so busy with
your ultra-demanding producer tasks,
215
00:10:10,146 --> 00:10:11,982
answering phones and pushing buttons.
216
00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:15,027
My God, a cockatoo with a
strong beak could do what you do!
217
00:10:18,031 --> 00:10:21,368
Then hire one, because I'm
taking the job with Bulldog.
218
00:10:21,993 --> 00:10:24,455
That's it. I am out of here!
219
00:10:26,749 --> 00:10:27,750
[GRUNTING]
220
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,716
Take a picture, 'cause
I'm out of your life.
221
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:39,222
You have seen the last of me!
222
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,058
Sayonara!
223
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,438
Oh, damn, my purse.
224
00:10:52,654 --> 00:10:55,656
Well, Bruce, I see we're
loaded with callers here.
225
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:56,783
What line is next?
226
00:10:57,576 --> 00:10:58,976
What's your favorite number?
227
00:11:01,289 --> 00:11:02,331
Three.
228
00:11:04,126 --> 00:11:05,960
[DIAL TONE]
229
00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:06,878
Damn.
230
00:11:08,964 --> 00:11:10,758
What's your other favorite number?
231
00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:13,576
Why don't you just let me handle this?
232
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,805
Hello, you're on the
line with Frasier Crane.
233
00:11:16,889 --> 00:11:17,891
I'm listening.
234
00:11:18,684 --> 00:11:20,268
WOMAN: Hi, Dr. Crane.
235
00:11:20,352 --> 00:11:23,063
My name is Francesca and
I'm calling about my boyfriend.
236
00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:26,150
Well, he says he loves me,
but I just can't get over this fear
237
00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:29,904
that I'm going to come home one
day and he's not gonna be there.
238
00:11:29,988 --> 00:11:30,948
I don't know.
239
00:11:31,032 --> 00:11:34,409
It probably stems from my
childhood when my father left us.
240
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,454
Oh, Francesca,
241
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,915
you are suffering from
a fear of abandonment,
242
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,667
but trust me, I am here for you.
243
00:11:40,751 --> 00:11:42,460
Thank you, Dr. Crane.
244
00:11:42,544 --> 00:11:45,798
I'm always so afraid that people
I count on will just disappear
245
00:11:45,882 --> 00:11:46,924
and I'll be left with…
246
00:11:47,008 --> 00:11:49,010
[DIAL TONE]
247
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:53,891
Sorry.
248
00:11:57,854 --> 00:12:01,607
Francesca, please, we had
a little technical glitch there.
249
00:12:01,691 --> 00:12:04,611
We were almost out of time anyway.
Please, if you'll call in tomorrow,
250
00:12:04,695 --> 00:12:06,780
I'll make sure you're
the first order of business.
251
00:12:06,864 --> 00:12:07,823
Please call.
252
00:12:07,907 --> 00:12:11,035
Well, we're just about
wrapped up here, folks.
253
00:12:11,119 --> 00:12:12,669
I'll see you tomorrow, Seattle.
254
00:12:21,381 --> 00:12:22,757
Good show, Dr. Crane.
255
00:12:25,302 --> 00:12:26,303
You think so, Bruce?
256
00:12:27,054 --> 00:12:27,888
Yeah.
257
00:12:28,472 --> 00:12:31,309
Well, call me old-fashioned, but when
my show starts out with a screeching noise
258
00:12:31,393 --> 00:12:33,769
that could shatter crystal,
then moves on to an open mike
259
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:36,690
while I'm eating a bag of potato chips,
then disconnects two manic depressives
260
00:12:36,774 --> 00:12:38,567
and a woman with a fear of abandonment,
261
00:12:38,651 --> 00:12:42,101
I don't think it's a show we should
be mailing off to the Smithsonian!
262
00:12:43,198 --> 00:12:44,449
Don't worry, man.
263
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:45,833
You'll do better tomorrow.
264
00:12:49,872 --> 00:12:52,249
Okay, it's gonna be a great show, Roz.
I can feel it.
265
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:55,083
Yeah, I'm psyched.
You got about a minute till showtime.
266
00:12:55,461 --> 00:12:57,380
-Hello, Roz.
-Hello, Frasier.
267
00:12:57,464 --> 00:12:59,966
Hey, Doc, long week, no see.
268
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,552
Hope you haven't been avoiding
me because I stole your chick.
269
00:13:02,636 --> 00:13:05,014
Oh, no.
Bruce and I are getting along splendidly.
270
00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:06,349
Yeah, I heard Bruce.
271
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:08,783
What happened?
The cockatoo want too much money?
272
00:13:11,981 --> 00:13:13,231
Bye, Roz.
273
00:13:13,315 --> 00:13:15,192
So long, Frasier.
274
00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:18,071
Oh, a moment, Frasier, please.
275
00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:21,699
I'm sure word has reached your ear
already about the "frutti di mare" party
276
00:13:21,783 --> 00:13:25,287
I'm throwing to celebrate our fair
city's great bounty from the sea.
277
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,748
-Yes, yes, I'd love to come.
-Well, aye, there's the rub.
278
00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:29,834
You see, I've already invited Roz.
279
00:13:29,918 --> 00:13:31,544
With this rift between you two,
280
00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:34,678
well, the tension in the air
will be thicker than my cioppino.
281
00:13:35,591 --> 00:13:38,427
Now, Gil, I'm sure that
rift will soon be over.
282
00:13:38,511 --> 00:13:39,845
Before long, Bulldog will prove
283
00:13:39,929 --> 00:13:42,641
that all he's wanted all along
was just to get his hands on Roz.
284
00:13:42,725 --> 00:13:46,228
In fact, that moment may have arrived.
Look, she's bending over.
285
00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:47,562
Turn around, Bulldog.
286
00:13:47,646 --> 00:13:51,526
GIL: Oh, yes, isn't that what
golfers refer to as "teeing it up"?
287
00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:54,553
FRASIER: All right, he moves in!
288
00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:57,991
And he… helps pick up the papers!
289
00:13:58,075 --> 00:14:00,160
Oh, I'm so sorry, Frasier.
290
00:14:00,244 --> 00:14:03,290
I, too, entertain hopes for low comedy.
291
00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:06,293
Attention, sports fans!
292
00:14:06,877 --> 00:14:10,381
You're back in the Doghouse
with Bulldog Briscoe! [BARKS]
293
00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:11,508
[MEOWS]
294
00:14:12,258 --> 00:14:13,426
Let's talk football.
295
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:16,346
Sunday's lock, Broncos over the
Raiders, easy money, huh, Roz?
296
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:18,932
Yeah, right, and men just wanna cuddle.
297
00:14:19,016 --> 00:14:21,601
LA humiliated Denver last month.
298
00:14:21,685 --> 00:14:23,438
Hey, do I tell you how to cook and clean?
299
00:14:23,522 --> 00:14:25,648
Denver's due. It's a complete no-brainer.
300
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,358
Well, then it's right up your alley!
301
00:14:27,442 --> 00:14:28,360
[HONKS]
302
00:14:32,532 --> 00:14:36,786
You know, I'm no sports fan, but
they really are quite delicious together.
303
00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:38,455
Yes, well, enjoy it while you can.
304
00:14:38,539 --> 00:14:40,540
Bulldog can't keep his
libido in check forever.
305
00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:43,711
Well, of course you're right. And then
Roz will come crawling back to you.
306
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:44,795
Yes.
307
00:14:44,879 --> 00:14:47,882
In the meantime I have to find someone
halfway competent to produce my show.
308
00:14:47,966 --> 00:14:49,134
How hard could that be?
309
00:14:49,218 --> 00:14:51,428
♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful ♪
310
00:14:52,721 --> 00:14:54,473
♪ Baby, that's my name ♪
311
00:14:55,015 --> 00:14:57,435
♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful ♪
312
00:14:57,894 --> 00:14:59,646
♪ That's how I got my fame ♪
313
00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:03,775
♪ But nobody seems to understand, now ♪
314
00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:06,695
♪ What makes a man feel so blue ♪
315
00:15:06,779 --> 00:15:09,657
♪ Oh, they call me Mr. Pitiful ♪
316
00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:12,077
♪ 'Cause I lost someone just like you ♪
317
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,746
♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful ♪
318
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,625
♪ Yes, everybody knows now ♪
319
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,462
♪ They call me Mr. Pitiful ♪
320
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,966
♪ Most everyplace I go now ♪
321
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,052
♪ But nobody seems to understand, now ♪
322
00:15:30,473 --> 00:15:31,849
NILES: You think you had a bad week?
323
00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:34,853
This morning Maris and I woke
to the sound of our gardener Yoshi
324
00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:37,105
hacking his way through our prize topiary.
325
00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:39,399
Niles, I've never understood why
you wanted your hedges to be sculpted
326
00:15:39,483 --> 00:15:40,651
into the shapes of animals.
327
00:15:40,735 --> 00:15:44,323
Well, we're both animal lovers,
but Maris is unable to have pets.
328
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:51,478
She distrusts anything that
loves her unconditionally.
329
00:15:56,378 --> 00:15:58,338
Anyway, there was Yoshi,
330
00:15:58,422 --> 00:15:59,464
drunk as a lord,
331
00:15:59,548 --> 00:16:02,176
swinging his hedge trimmer
recklessly over his head.
332
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:03,427
Before we could calm him,
333
00:16:03,511 --> 00:16:08,934
he had transformed Maris' prize stallion
into some sort of obscene go at boy.
334
00:16:15,025 --> 00:16:17,069
The poor woman is inconsolable.
335
00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:18,903
Well, thank you, Niles.
336
00:16:18,987 --> 00:16:20,637
You've been a great deal of help.
337
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:24,415
There are worse things than
seeing one's career go down the toilet.
338
00:16:24,577 --> 00:16:27,455
I could have my hedges
cut into unattractive shapes.
339
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,960
It's always about you, isn't it?
340
00:16:32,628 --> 00:16:35,256
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm
just the slightest bit panicky
341
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:37,040
that I'm never gonna get Roz back.
342
00:16:37,425 --> 00:16:39,427
I've been waiting for weeks
for Bulldog to make his move,
343
00:16:39,511 --> 00:16:41,513
and against all natural laws, he hasn't.
344
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:42,848
DAPHNE: Come along.
345
00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:44,433
Oh, hello.
346
00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,393
I thought we might run into you two here.
347
00:16:46,477 --> 00:16:48,396
Yeah, Daphne and I've
been out buying shoes.
348
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,482
Oh, not that I don't appreciate
the ones that you bought me,
349
00:16:51,566 --> 00:16:56,739
but I thought I'd save those for
special occasions when only tassels'll do.
350
00:16:57,699 --> 00:16:59,867
Hey, get a load of these.
351
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:02,121
They light up when I walk away.
352
00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:05,541
Doesn't everyone?
353
00:17:08,837 --> 00:17:12,548
Well, I see Mr. Congeniality here is still
spreading sunshine wherever he goes.
354
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,968
Apparently things didn't go
very well on his show today.
355
00:17:15,052 --> 00:17:16,470
Oh, really?
356
00:17:16,554 --> 00:17:18,639
Well, you know, these things go in cycles.
357
00:17:18,723 --> 00:17:20,265
I mean, take Bulldog's show.
358
00:17:20,349 --> 00:17:23,645
He's just had one great
show after another lately.
359
00:17:24,396 --> 00:17:25,229
FRASIER: Hmm.
360
00:17:25,313 --> 00:17:28,859
What could be your point, Dad? I'm
having trouble reading between the lines.
361
00:17:28,943 --> 00:17:31,779
If you weren't so damn
stubborn, you'd apologize to Roz,
362
00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:33,990
get her back on the show
and everybody'd be happy.
363
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:36,576
As usual, you're overlooking
a key psychological component
364
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:37,535
in this whole issue.
365
00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:39,969
-You'd have to admit you were wrong.
-Exactly!
366
00:17:42,709 --> 00:17:45,711
I don't see what's so hard
about telling Roz you were wrong.
367
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:48,632
You don't understand. You see,
it's not the same as Dad being wrong
368
00:17:48,716 --> 00:17:50,050
or your being wrong.
369
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:52,469
I have a degree from Harvard.
Whenever I'm wrong,
370
00:17:52,553 --> 00:17:54,353
the world makes a little less sense.
371
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,232
Frankly, I don't understand
why you want her back at all.
372
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,650
She's pushy and opinionated.
373
00:18:04,734 --> 00:18:07,821
Niles, don't you think you're
being just the slightest bit sexist?
374
00:18:07,905 --> 00:18:10,865
What's labelled "pushy" in a woman
is called assertiveness in a man.
375
00:18:10,949 --> 00:18:13,159
Gone are the days when
women were shunted aside
376
00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:15,246
to bat their eyelashes
prettily and say nothing.
377
00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:18,130
-I quite agree.
-Oh, Daphne, please. I can handle this.
378
00:18:19,042 --> 00:18:21,837
Well, you've certainly
handled it well enough so far.
379
00:18:21,921 --> 00:18:24,131
If you ask me, it's time
you get off your high horse,
380
00:18:24,215 --> 00:18:26,718
buy Roz some flowers
and beg her forgiveness.
381
00:18:26,802 --> 00:18:29,512
And don't be afraid to get
your knees a little dusty.
382
00:18:29,596 --> 00:18:32,766
Well, I'm sorry. I'm just not
quite ready to swallow my pride.
383
00:18:34,727 --> 00:18:37,146
Next time, wake me when the show's over.
384
00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:48,325
BULLDOG: All right,
Wednesday we got the NFL picks.
385
00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:50,619
Then at the end of the show,
we do the Boner of the Week.
386
00:18:50,703 --> 00:18:52,037
No, can't do that.
387
00:18:52,121 --> 00:18:53,248
This is why I hate you.
388
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:57,127
You are always trying to change my tried
and true format. Okay, why can't we do it?
389
00:18:57,211 --> 00:19:00,173
Because I got you an
interview with Wayne Gretzky.
390
00:19:00,257 --> 00:19:03,551
-See… Wayne Gretzky?
-Mm-hm.
391
00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:04,552
Wayne Gretzky!
392
00:19:04,636 --> 00:19:05,636
This is awesome!
393
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,014
This is total brilliance!
394
00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:09,392
This is… A pinched nerve. [GROANS]
395
00:19:10,226 --> 00:19:11,560
[GROANING]
396
00:19:11,644 --> 00:19:13,062
It's an old football injury.
397
00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:16,696
I got my head rammed into a locker
when I tried to interview Mike Ditka.
398
00:19:16,942 --> 00:19:19,110
Here, let me help you with that.
399
00:19:19,194 --> 00:19:20,029
[GRUNTS]
400
00:19:20,947 --> 00:19:22,615
This is great. I can't believe it.
401
00:19:22,699 --> 00:19:24,534
Wayne Gretzky, the Great One.
402
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:28,706
[GRUNTS] Roz, you are the great one.
403
00:19:29,373 --> 00:19:31,041
You are some kind of producer.
404
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:32,794
Thanks.
405
00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:34,379
I'm having a great time.
406
00:19:35,171 --> 00:19:36,839
I owe you, Bulldog.
407
00:19:36,923 --> 00:19:38,258
I owe you big.
408
00:19:45,808 --> 00:19:47,811
You know, I never would've
thought this a couple of weeks ago,
409
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,230
but you and I have great
chemistry together, don't we?
410
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,232
Uh-huh. I like chemistry.
411
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,277
I flunked it, but I like it.
412
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:59,325
You got any of that, uh, Wild Turkey left?
413
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:01,160
Yeah, sure.
414
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,955
You know, I gotta be
honest with you, Bulldog.
415
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:06,249
When we first started working together,
416
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,626
I never thought it
would turn out like this.
417
00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:09,544
Did you?
418
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:11,463
All along.
419
00:20:17,136 --> 00:20:19,348
Hey, uh, Roz…
420
00:20:20,682 --> 00:20:25,688
You, uh, better make mine a double.
I'm a double kind of guy.
421
00:20:26,189 --> 00:20:28,190
Uh-uh. You're only gonna get a little.
422
00:20:28,274 --> 00:20:32,112
There's a lot I wanna do tonight,
and I want you to keep up with me.
423
00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:33,113
Yeah, well, uh…
424
00:20:34,448 --> 00:20:37,098
All I ask is you give me a
couple of 20-minute breaks.
425
00:20:40,497 --> 00:20:41,330
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
426
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:42,248
What's that?
427
00:20:42,332 --> 00:20:43,624
I, uh…
428
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:46,879
I thought a little music might be, uh…
Might be nice.
429
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,673
Can you concentrate with that on?
430
00:20:49,757 --> 00:20:51,217
Oh, yeah, yeah.
431
00:20:51,759 --> 00:20:55,973
Actually, uh, I find
the distraction healthy.
432
00:20:59,852 --> 00:21:01,452
No, second date. Don't be pushy.
433
00:21:03,231 --> 00:21:05,066
This is great, Roz.
434
00:21:05,776 --> 00:21:07,027
Us working like this.
435
00:21:08,195 --> 00:21:11,073
Hey, uh, did you and the
doc ever end up working…
436
00:21:13,368 --> 00:21:14,201
What?
437
00:21:14,285 --> 00:21:16,495
Did you and the doc ever,
uh, end up working like this?
438
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:20,083
Oh, yeah, we tried it once, but
he complained I talked too much.
439
00:21:20,167 --> 00:21:21,084
Oh, yeah?
440
00:21:21,168 --> 00:21:23,068
I would've figured you for a screamer.
441
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:27,342
[SCREAMS]
442
00:21:27,426 --> 00:21:29,761
What the hell are you doing in my bed?
443
00:21:29,845 --> 00:21:31,054
Get out! Get out!
444
00:21:31,138 --> 00:21:34,266
I asked you over here to
work, you disgusting pervert!
445
00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:35,309
Hey, hey, hey!
446
00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:36,810
You're gonna have to slow down!
447
00:21:36,894 --> 00:21:39,148
I'm getting some mixed signals here.
448
00:21:43,485 --> 00:21:44,527
BULLDOG: What are you doing?
449
00:21:44,611 --> 00:21:46,364
Is this clear enough for you?
450
00:21:46,448 --> 00:21:47,531
Hey, are you crazy?
451
00:21:47,615 --> 00:21:48,616
My wallet's in there!
452
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,618
Get out. Now!
453
00:21:51,412 --> 00:21:52,663
Get out of my way, Doc!
454
00:21:54,665 --> 00:21:55,666
[GROANS]
455
00:21:58,920 --> 00:21:59,755
I'm listening.
456
00:22:06,137 --> 00:22:09,056
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
457
00:22:09,140 --> 00:22:11,184
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
458
00:22:11,268 --> 00:22:13,979
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
459
00:22:14,063 --> 00:22:15,939
Quite stylish.
460
00:22:16,023 --> 00:22:18,447
♪ And maybe I seem a
bit confused
461
00:22:18,531 --> 00:22:21,237
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
462
00:22:21,321 --> 00:22:23,197
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
463
00:22:23,281 --> 00:22:24,700
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
464
00:22:24,784 --> 00:22:28,287
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
465
00:22:30,081 --> 00:22:31,708
♪ They're callin' again ♪
466
00:22:32,959 --> 00:22:35,670
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
467
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:37,297
What is a boy to do?
468
00:22:39,717 --> 00:22:40,885
Thank you!