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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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-Niles.
-Hello.
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Is it just me or are the
sidewalk Santas getting pushy?
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Well, tomorrow is Christmas.
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I suppose they might be anticipating
a certain down-turn after that.
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Cappuccino, please.
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So, when does Frederick arrive?
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In six hours and 21 minutes,
not that I'm the least bit excited.
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Yes, I'm sure he's excited too.
First Christmas at Daddy's.
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I imagine he has visions of
sugarplums dancing through his head.
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No, Lilith doesn't allow sweets.
He's probably got visions of bran.
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Well, I've got my own reason to celebrate.
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Maris and I may be together
again by the new year.
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-Oh, really, Niles?
-Yes, yes, I called this morning
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to arrange the delivery
of her Christmas gifts.
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And she said the only gift she'd
accept from me was an abject apology.
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Going to cave in to her, aren't you?
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Au contraire.
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I told her I was not about to apologize.
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And from that point on, the respect in
her voice came through loud and clear.
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No small feat considering
she was speaking at the time
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through the hole in her massage table.
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-Hello.
-Hey, double espresso, please.
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This last-minute Christmas
shopping is killing me.
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I never know what to
give the men in my life.
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Since when?
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-Funny man.
-Excuse me.
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-I'll take care of this.
-Oh, thank you, Niles.
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So, what's new, Niles?
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I have been keeping it under wraps, but…
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Maris and I have separated.
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Oh, my God! I had no idea!
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I can't believe no one told me!
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-This is such a surprise.
-That's enough, Tallulah.
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You're not fooling anyone.
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I'm sorry, sir. Your card didn't clear.
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-I have to do this.
-But, wait!
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What, what are you doing?
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The computer said, "Credit
canceled by order of co-signatory."
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Maris has canceled your credit card.
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Whoa, Merry Christmas!
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Would you care to use a different one?
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There's no point. They're all in her name.
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I'm calling her right now and demanding
the restoration of my credit cards
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and my bank accounts…
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And my phone service.
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MAN [ON PHONE]: Doc, I'm at the airport,
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and I'm having a lot of
trouble getting on the plane.
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Well, Bob, Bob, statistics prove that
we're safer in the air than on the ground.
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No, that… that's not it.
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I'm supposed to be flying
home to Newark for Christmas,
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but the next gate over
has a flight to Maui.
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I'm telling you, it's calling me, Doc.
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Well, why are you hesitant to go home?
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Because it's the same thing every year.
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I travel 3000 miles to sit down
at the dinner table with my family,
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and what do we talk about?
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What's going on in our lives?
No. Our hopes and dreams? No.
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We talk about the turkey.
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"Boy, that's quite a bird."
"Twenty-four pounder."
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"What time did you have to get
up to put that in the oven, Ang?"
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"Oh, boy, that's moist!
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She must've been
bastin' that bird all day!"
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"Are those walnuts in the stuffing?"
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"Oh, God!
I forgot to put the rolls in the oven!"
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I guess what I'm trying to say, Bob,
is that we're all in the same gravy boat.
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But you see, the important thing is
that we spend time with our loved ones.
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Just think how you'd feel if you woke
up tomorrow morning 6000 miles away
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from your home.
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Well, you know, that really
puts it in perspective, Doc.
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-I got a plane to catch.
-Malekaleke maka, Bob.
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[DIAL TONE SOUNDS]
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We'll be right back after these messages.
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Oh, Roz, what'd they say? What'd they say?
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Relax.
Frederick's flight is still on time.
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He'll be here in less than three hours.
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And the florist called and you can
pick up your wreath on the way home.
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Oh, fabulous. You know, every
year Dad puts that kitschy creature
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with the red light bulb nose on the door.
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Hey, great party!
Best one ever, thanks to me.
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I hired a stripper.
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Doc, you will never
guess what her name is.
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Candy Cane.
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What are the odds?
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For those of you who've not yet sampled
the punch, here is my capsule review:
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vile bouquet, unwholesome color, ghastly
taste and a kick that is simply heaven.
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-Okay, 30 seconds, Frasier.
-All right, out, out, out, please.
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-Come on!
-Hey, Roz, you know what's over my head?
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Almost any clever remark?
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-What did she mean by that?
-Out!
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Oh, listen, Roz, I know
you got a plane to catch,
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and the traffic to the
airport is probably very bad,
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so in the spirit of the Christmas season,
why don't you just take off early, hmm?
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You're going to read one of your
inspirational Christmas fables again,
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-aren't you?
-Yes, I am.
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Yeah.
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It'll be a lot easier without you
sticking your finger in your throat.
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Right. Merry Christmas.
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Merry Christmas, Roz.
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-Say hi to Frederick.
-Yes, and say hi to your mom for me.
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-Will do.
-Okay.
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Hi, we're back.
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As most of my faithful listeners
know, every year I compose a parable
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that I hope will illuminate the
spirit of the Christmas season.
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[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
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So, without any further ado,
I give you the story of Olaf,
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the Lonely Little Goatherd.
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[GOATS BLEATING]
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Once upon a time, long ago,
there lived a lonely little goatherd.
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He had no family and no playthings,
so to amuse himself one day,
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he carved a little wooden flute,
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a flute which he used to play
during the long, lonely evenings.
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And the tune it made was very lovely,
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and all the people in the village below
could hear the pure glorious sounds.
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This is all very amusing, but nothing
you can do is going to distract me.
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One day the son of a wealthy
merchant heard the music.
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And while that boy had
all the toys in the world,
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he was jealous of this
little goatherd's flute.
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So one dark night…
[BLOWING] one dark, windy night,
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the merchant's son stole
his precious instrument.
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But when he took that flute
home, he couldn't make it play.
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So he smashed the flute to bits.
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And the little goatherd came
down the mountain the next morning
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and saw his flute was broken.
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Yikes!
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He might have said that, but
instead he forgave the merchant's son.
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And the wealthy merchant
adopted the little goatherd and…
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Oh, Mama!
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…he said upon meeting the merchant's wife.
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And somewhere along the way he
learned the true meaning of Christmas.
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you
a truly blessed and forgiving holiday.
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There, now you see, nice try.
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Miss Cane's delightful performance aside,
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this just proves that the power
of my message cannot be stayed.
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For God's sake, what am I, a robot?
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And to all, a good night.
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Oh.
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Hi, Dad, uh…
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Listen, I…
I'm gonna put this wreath up here.
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What's the matter with Rudolph?
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Well, Dad, I just think
that Christmas decorations
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should be understated and tasteful.
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Boy, I can't even have
one thing that I want.
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Dad, I'm sorry, but if I gave you one
thing, God knows where it might lead.
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[TRAIN HORN WHISTLING]
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Oh, God!
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My childhood Christmases all over again.
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Only Mom isn't here to say,
"Shut up, you'll hurt his feelings."
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Aw, don't be such a Grinch.
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SANTA: Ho, ho, ho…
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It works when you step on the mat.
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Ho, ho, ho…
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It can say, "Ho-ho-ho," "Merry
Christmas" or "Happy Holidays."
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Well, I hope it can say "Geronimo" 'cause
I'm gonna throw him off the balcony.
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Well, I don't care what you think.
It's not for you. It's for Frederick.
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Well, I suppose you're right, Dad.
I used to love that stuff when I was 6.
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By the time I was 7, I
started to have questions.
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When I was eight, I started spending
a lot more time with the Bernsteins.
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-Well, I'm off to Joe's parents' house.
-See you've been busy in the kitchen.
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Yeah, I'm bringing Grammy
Moon's famous plum duff.
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Oh, it's a still flour pudding
boiled in a cloth bag.
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Who gets to lick the bag?
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Oh, you see, Grammy
Moon had a secret ingredient.
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She'd soak it for hours in rum,
then ignite it in a blinding flash.
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As soon as she came out of
the kitchen with no eyebrows,
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we knew dessert was ready.
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To this day, the smell of burning
hair puts me in the holiday spirit.
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-Bye. Merry Christmas.
-FRASIER: Bye. Merry Christmas.
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Someone's gonna have to
go back down to the storeroom.
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-There's still something missing.
-You must be kidding, Dad.
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My God, this place couldn't
look any more ludicrous.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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Once I saw how those white
hairs on his chin looked like a beard,
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the rest of the idea just fell into place.
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-Niles!
-Hello, Frasier.
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I know, I know, shut
up, we'll hurt his feelings.
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So, Niles, did you have
a discussion with Maris?
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No, but I had an epiphany.
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I realized cutting off my funds
is Maris' way of saying I love you.
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She always uses money
to get what she wants.
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00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:47,501
Ergo, this is proof she wants me back.
What do you think?
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SANTA: Ho, ho, ho…
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I think Santa said it all for us.
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Dad, you have to get out more.
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00:11:09,815 --> 00:11:11,858
You've started doing old lady things.
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00:11:13,318 --> 00:11:14,735
It's for Frederick.
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Oh, of course it is.
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Oh, that reminds me,
I don't want to impose,
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00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:21,992
but may I ride with you to the
airport to pick up Frederick?
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00:11:22,076 --> 00:11:25,036
Of course you may, Niles.
I just have to wrap up his presents first.
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00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,955
-Wonderful.
-So what'd you get Freddie?
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00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:29,958
Well, actually, Dad, I
ordered from the toy catalog
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from the special section
called "Gifts for the Gifted."
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00:11:33,295 --> 00:11:37,172
I got him the Junior Astronomer
set and the Geology Lab.
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00:11:37,256 --> 00:11:40,092
Oh, and I got a fabulous
thing, the Living Brain.
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00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:42,010
You get to paint each
lobe a different color
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00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:44,638
and then you stuff it
inside the Living Skull.
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00:11:44,722 --> 00:11:46,556
MARTIN: Hey, you
know what kids really like?
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00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,725
They've been advertising it
like crazy on TV. It's great!
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00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,644
The Outlaw Laser Robo-Geek.
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00:11:53,938 --> 00:11:56,941
Its head lights up and it
shoots death rays out of its eyes.
202
00:11:58,693 --> 00:11:59,944
Yeah, a little like that.
203
00:12:03,447 --> 00:12:05,573
Listen, Dad, I think I
know what Frederick likes.
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00:12:05,657 --> 00:12:07,450
He's precocious.
He needs to be challenged.
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00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:09,786
Oh, challenge him the other 364 days.
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00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:12,663
One day out of the year indulge him.
Let him be a kid.
207
00:12:12,747 --> 00:12:15,040
Look, Dad, I'm sorry.
If Frederick's anything like me,
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00:12:15,124 --> 00:12:17,460
the kind of toys he'll
like to play with are…
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00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,630
A kitchen set, a doll house
and three kinds of Barbies.
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00:12:21,714 --> 00:12:22,840
Oh, my God!
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00:12:23,549 --> 00:12:26,175
This is for a Franklin
Crane from Kennebunkport.
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00:12:26,259 --> 00:12:28,886
Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
213
00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:31,932
Yes. The Cranes of Maine
have got your Living Brain.
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00:12:39,271 --> 00:12:40,106
No.
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00:12:41,941 --> 00:12:43,859
It means I don't have
anything for Freddie.
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00:12:43,943 --> 00:12:47,696
God, I wanted everything to be so perfect.
Now he's gonna have a horrible Christmas.
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00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:50,448
Hey, listen, it's okay.
There's a big toy store in the mall.
218
00:12:50,532 --> 00:12:52,742
They're open late tonight.
Just don't worry about it.
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00:12:52,826 --> 00:12:55,411
Well, that's easy for you to say, Dad.
My God, it's Christmas Eve.
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00:12:55,495 --> 00:12:58,122
The gifts I ordered are 3000 miles
away, my son is due in an hour,
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00:12:58,206 --> 00:13:01,208
and on top of it all, I
have to go to a mall.
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00:13:01,292 --> 00:13:03,043
SANTA: Ho, ho, ho…
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00:13:03,127 --> 00:13:04,795
Oh, don't look at me. He said it.
224
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,178
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
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00:13:14,430 --> 00:13:17,848
Niles, the customers are marauding
through here like a pack of feral dogs.
226
00:13:17,932 --> 00:13:19,099
Did you see that woman?
227
00:13:19,183 --> 00:13:21,310
She practically knocked me
over on the way to the escalator!
228
00:13:21,394 --> 00:13:24,994
Oh, how about that woman near the
cosmetics counter who tried to mace me?
229
00:13:25,231 --> 00:13:27,881
That was a cologne sample, Niles.
That's what they do.
230
00:13:29,568 --> 00:13:31,361
Come on, Niles, we've got five minutes.
231
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:33,696
-We've gotta find a sales clerk.
-Oh, well, good luck.
232
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,115
Well then, we'll have to find
something ourselves, I guess.
233
00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:38,242
Well, hey, hey, this looks amusing.
234
00:13:38,326 --> 00:13:42,163
No, Niles, please, may I remind you
we're looking for something educational?
235
00:13:42,746 --> 00:13:44,540
Oh, oh, oh, it has buttons.
236
00:13:45,499 --> 00:13:46,417
What's it doing?
237
00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:49,294
It's flashing.
238
00:13:49,378 --> 00:13:52,130
Niles, please, remember that
Freddie tested in the highest percentile
239
00:13:52,214 --> 00:13:54,048
for cognitive skills and
deductive reasoning.
240
00:13:54,132 --> 00:13:56,384
-What's it doing now?
-[BEEPING]
241
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:58,219
It's beeping, for God's sake.
242
00:13:58,303 --> 00:14:00,388
And as much as I would
like to inflict this on Lilith,
243
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,891
I'm looking for fast and
educational, all right?
244
00:14:08,562 --> 00:14:11,862
-I wonder what else it does.
-Let's see if it protects your head.
245
00:14:18,571 --> 00:14:20,114
Here's something. Wait, wait!
246
00:14:21,157 --> 00:14:23,033
-Look at this! Look at this!
-Oh, God!
247
00:14:23,117 --> 00:14:25,619
It's called "Ecto-Goo."
248
00:14:25,703 --> 00:14:27,621
Oh, well, that sounds vaguely scientific.
249
00:14:27,705 --> 00:14:29,957
But what could he
possibly learn from that?
250
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:33,418
For starters, he can learn never
to wear Armani to a toy store.
251
00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:37,004
Let's see if I can remember what I ordered
from the catalog and look for that.
252
00:14:37,088 --> 00:14:38,756
First, the Living Brain.
253
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,841
Living Brain?
254
00:14:39,925 --> 00:14:42,344
-FRASIER: Yes.
-What kind of dork wants that?
255
00:14:43,469 --> 00:14:47,219
With any luck the kind of dork who'll
be operating on your prostate someday.
256
00:14:53,437 --> 00:14:55,980
Frasier, Frasier, Frasier,
look, look, there it is!
257
00:14:56,064 --> 00:14:57,648
It's on the shelf! It's up on that shelf!
258
00:14:57,732 --> 00:14:59,775
Oh, Lord, it's covered with dust.
259
00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:03,571
The brain is dusty.
Could there be a clearer metaphor?
260
00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:06,031
Oh, no, there's nothing in it.
261
00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:08,199
-Can I have it?
-Well, it's an empty box, ma'am.
262
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,785
I know, but I can put
my son's Robo-Geek in it.
263
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:14,581
You know how scared he'll be when he
thinks he's getting something this nerdy?
264
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:15,748
[CHUCKLES]
265
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,585
Oh, God, this is hopeless.
We'll never find anything for Frederick.
266
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,919
Oh, Frasier, just give him a check.
267
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,880
Niles, you can't give a check to a child.
268
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,674
That's what I'm giving him.
269
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:26,926
It has a stagecoach on it.
270
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,179
Niles, Maris canceled your account.
271
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:31,973
Damn!
272
00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:35,099
Oh, look at that man's bag.
273
00:15:35,183 --> 00:15:39,645
"Young Minds."
Sir, excuse me, is this store in the mall?
274
00:15:39,729 --> 00:15:42,398
-Yeah.
-And it's educational toys?
275
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,650
Mm-hm. Nothing but.
It's just a couple of doors down.
276
00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:46,818
Yes! Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!
277
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:49,237
No, they closed a half hour ago.
278
00:15:49,321 --> 00:15:51,114
Damn! Damn it!
279
00:15:51,198 --> 00:15:55,578
Look, this is perfect. It's a chemistry
lab and a picture puzzle and…
280
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:59,663
My son comes in in a half an hour,
and I have absolutely nothing for him.
281
00:15:59,747 --> 00:16:02,374
He'll be in in 22 minutes if
he picks up a good tail wind.
282
00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:05,211
You, uh…
you really need this stuff bad, don't you?
283
00:16:05,295 --> 00:16:07,755
Oh, you have no idea.
It would save my life.
284
00:16:08,423 --> 00:16:11,508
I'll tell you what, seeing
as how it's Christmas…
285
00:16:11,592 --> 00:16:13,051
Oh, God bless you, sir.
286
00:16:13,135 --> 00:16:14,261
A thousand bucks.
287
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:20,391
-What? A thousand bucks?
-Hey, take it or leave it.
288
00:16:20,475 --> 00:16:24,061
Well, I mean, it's just no more than a
hundred dollars' worth of things here.
289
00:16:24,145 --> 00:16:27,845
Ladies and gentlemen, we're beginning
our descent into the Seattle Airport.
290
00:16:28,024 --> 00:16:30,692
-I'm just trying to do you a favor here.
-Well, it's some favor.
291
00:16:30,776 --> 00:16:32,611
Please make sure your
tray tables and seat backs are
292
00:16:32,695 --> 00:16:34,613
-in their fully upright positions.
-Shut up, Niles!
293
00:16:34,697 --> 00:16:37,197
All right, all right, let's
see what I've got here.
294
00:16:38,575 --> 00:16:41,911
All right, look, I've got, uh…
Here's three hundred dollars.
295
00:16:41,995 --> 00:16:44,705
Would you accept a
personal check for the rest?
296
00:16:44,789 --> 00:16:47,375
-Hey, it's Christmas.
-Oh, bless you.
297
00:16:47,459 --> 00:16:49,292
Bless you so much. Very well, thank you.
298
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,836
Niles, give the man a check.
299
00:16:56,759 --> 00:16:58,760
-Where's Freddie?
-Putting on his pajamas.
300
00:16:58,844 --> 00:17:01,095
He'll come in and say good
night after he brushes his teeth.
301
00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:02,346
So, how'd you do?
302
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:05,516
Well, I didn't get exactly what I
ordered, but I think I did all right.
303
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:10,312
We got him a microscope
and a chemistry set
304
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:14,441
and a five-thousand-piece
puzzle of the Great Wall of China.
305
00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:17,402
Well, maybe he'll have fun with the boxes.
306
00:17:19,237 --> 00:17:20,321
Dad, here you go.
307
00:17:20,405 --> 00:17:23,283
This is the last box from the storeroom.
308
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:25,076
-MARTIN: Great.
-[NILES GROANS]
309
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,619
Now is this what you were looking for?
310
00:17:27,703 --> 00:17:31,748
Oh, yeah! Santa's legs for the chimney.
311
00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:33,834
-You remember these babies?
-FRASIER: Oh, yes,
312
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:36,712
they inspired some spectacular
Christmas nightmares
313
00:17:36,796 --> 00:17:38,646
the year I found them under your bed.
314
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:45,886
Frasier, isn't this the smoking jacket
you gave Dad a few years back?
315
00:17:45,970 --> 00:17:47,930
What? Hey, what…
316
00:17:48,014 --> 00:17:49,557
Well, how'd that get in there?
317
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:55,186
Dad, these are all the gifts I've
given you for the last six years.
318
00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:57,188
Hey, come on now. Shut that… Put that…
319
00:17:57,272 --> 00:17:59,858
-Close the box up, will you?
-Dad, look at this.
320
00:17:59,942 --> 00:18:02,277
They're still in the original box.
They've never been worn.
321
00:18:02,361 --> 00:18:03,402
Sure, they have.
322
00:18:03,486 --> 00:18:05,636
Oh, yeah, this one
still has the tags on it.
323
00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:09,366
Look, this isn't the kind of conversation
we should be having on Christmas Eve.
324
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:11,994
No, Dad? Well, what is it you want to say?
325
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,332
Well, you know, Frasier, you're
always giving people things that you think
326
00:18:17,416 --> 00:18:20,877
they should like instead of
things that they really like.
327
00:18:20,961 --> 00:18:25,841
I mean, come on, in your entire life have
you ever seen me wear anything like that?
328
00:18:26,717 --> 00:18:29,509
Well, no.
I thought you might like a change.
329
00:18:29,593 --> 00:18:30,552
No.
330
00:18:30,636 --> 00:18:32,596
Well, it's like when you
were a kid, remember?
331
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,973
I wanted you to love baseball.
332
00:18:35,057 --> 00:18:38,143
I wanted to get you a bat and
glove, everything, for Christmas.
333
00:18:38,227 --> 00:18:42,021
But you had your mind set on a microscope.
So that's what I got you.
334
00:18:42,105 --> 00:18:44,315
And then when Dad took us to a
game, you spent the whole time
335
00:18:44,399 --> 00:18:46,484
looking for rodent hairs in your hot dog.
336
00:18:53,949 --> 00:18:57,535
I'm just saying Christmas isn't a time
that you go trying to mold somebody,
337
00:18:57,619 --> 00:18:59,704
which is what you're
trying to do with Frederick.
338
00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:01,331
I think I know what's good for my own son.
339
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:02,832
I brushed my teeth, Daddy.
340
00:19:02,916 --> 00:19:05,169
Oh, that's my boy. Come on.
341
00:19:06,127 --> 00:19:08,212
-Bonsoir, Uncle Niles.
-[IN FRENCH] And to you too.
342
00:19:09,213 --> 00:19:11,173
Hey, you better get to
sleep or Santa won't come.
343
00:19:11,257 --> 00:19:14,343
Okay. I know just what Santa's
bringing me this year, Dad.
344
00:19:14,427 --> 00:19:15,803
I'll bet you don't.
345
00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:18,680
Yes, I do too.
346
00:19:18,764 --> 00:19:21,183
It's an Outlaw Laser Robo-Geek.
347
00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:27,772
What makes you think that?
348
00:19:27,856 --> 00:19:30,149
Because I asked Santa for it in my letter.
349
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:32,693
They are so cool!
350
00:19:33,736 --> 00:19:36,238
Well, uh, listen Frederick.
351
00:19:36,322 --> 00:19:39,366
Yes, Frederick, where are you going?
352
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:43,161
I'm gonna make myself go to sleep
right away so the next thing I know,
353
00:19:43,245 --> 00:19:44,620
it'll be morning.
354
00:19:44,704 --> 00:19:46,872
-Good night, Daddy.
-I'll come tuck you in in a minute.
355
00:19:46,956 --> 00:19:48,916
Good night, Grandpa.
Good night, Uncle Niles.
356
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,543
-Good night.
-Good night, Frederick.
357
00:19:50,627 --> 00:19:53,171
I'm going to go home and go to bed, too.
358
00:19:54,255 --> 00:19:56,256
I hope Aunt Maris comes out of her coma.
359
00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:11,592
He asked where she was.
I thought the truth would just upset him.
360
00:20:13,981 --> 00:20:15,649
I'll see you in the morning.
Merry Christmas.
361
00:20:15,733 --> 00:20:17,151
MARTIN: See you tomorrow.
362
00:20:19,195 --> 00:20:21,404
Well, this is turning out
to be quite a Christmas.
363
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,073
Oh, it's gonna be fine.
364
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:25,951
I've done it again.
365
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,810
Gotten everybody the wrong gifts.
366
00:20:30,038 --> 00:20:31,164
What is it about me?
367
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:35,459
Well, here, you may as
well open your gift now.
368
00:20:35,543 --> 00:20:37,502
No reason for everybody
to be disappointed tomorrow.
369
00:20:37,586 --> 00:20:39,672
Hey, I'm sure I'm gonna love it.
370
00:20:40,381 --> 00:20:42,842
I doubt it. This is not exactly my night.
371
00:20:46,386 --> 00:20:48,554
Hey, a robe.
372
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:50,264
Great. I love it.
373
00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:51,640
Oh, no, you don't.
374
00:20:51,724 --> 00:20:54,519
It's not a robe. It's a dressing gown.
375
00:20:56,604 --> 00:20:58,521
Noel Coward would
love it, but it's not you.
376
00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:00,774
Hey, I love Noel Coward.
377
00:21:01,483 --> 00:21:02,984
Dad, you're overcompensating.
378
00:21:03,068 --> 00:21:05,779
Oh, well, you know, some
people are hard to buy for.
379
00:21:05,863 --> 00:21:07,030
I'm sorry.
380
00:21:07,114 --> 00:21:09,964
But, you know, you are, too.
I never know what to get you.
381
00:21:10,409 --> 00:21:11,576
-Yeah.
-Here.
382
00:21:13,035 --> 00:21:14,787
You might as well open this now.
383
00:21:18,291 --> 00:21:20,960
I guess it was easier when I was small.
384
00:21:22,003 --> 00:21:24,128
The kids always know
what they want, don't they?
385
00:21:24,212 --> 00:21:26,256
Yeah, yeah, it's rough for adults.
386
00:21:32,512 --> 00:21:33,555
Oh, Dad.
387
00:21:34,222 --> 00:21:35,724
Merry Christmas, son.
388
00:21:38,350 --> 00:21:40,268
How did you know? It's just what I wanted…
389
00:21:40,352 --> 00:21:42,730
My very own Outlaw Laser Robo-Geek.
390
00:21:47,568 --> 00:21:48,651
Oh, Dad.
391
00:21:49,819 --> 00:21:52,196
Oh, oh, listen, are
the batteries included?
392
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,740
-In the box.
-Oh, Dad!
393
00:21:59,662 --> 00:22:01,663
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
394
00:22:02,497 --> 00:22:05,129
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
395
00:22:05,213 --> 00:22:07,502
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
396
00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:08,879
Quite stylish.
397
00:22:09,338 --> 00:22:12,090
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
398
00:22:12,174 --> 00:22:14,383
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
399
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,635
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
400
00:22:16,719 --> 00:22:18,178
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
401
00:22:18,262 --> 00:22:21,724
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
402
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:24,977
♪ They're callin' again ♪
403
00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:28,943
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
404
00:22:29,027 --> 00:22:30,857
What is a boy to do?
405
00:22:33,109 --> 00:22:35,362
Happy holidays, everybody!