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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:15,263 --> 00:00:16,806
-Hello, Niles.
-Frasier, quick,
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00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:18,892
-give me your museum membership card.
-What for?
4
00:00:18,976 --> 00:00:21,020
I just heard, tickets go on sale today
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for the exhibit of 14th-century
Japanese Nitsuki figurines.
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-Then the rumors were true.
-Yes, yes.
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00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,243
Hurry, I wanna get there
before the line forms.
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00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,947
Five seconds.
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00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:32,849
Oh, just give me a minute, Niles.
Sit tight.
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00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:36,954
And we're back.
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00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,249
Before we take our last
call, I'd like to remind you
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00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:43,462
that Mercy Hospital will be conducting
free blood pressure testing this Saturday
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00:00:43,546 --> 00:00:45,089
on Whidbey Island.
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Hypertension leads to stroke,
heart disease and other maladies.
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So we should all be on the lookout
for symptoms like shortness of breath,
16
00:00:54,767 --> 00:00:56,226
quickening of pulse, irritability…
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00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:58,910
Oh, will you just shove the
damn thing in your mouth!
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00:01:02,651 --> 00:01:07,782
So let's all join together to
help defeat this silent killer.
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Roz, who's on the line?
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On line four we have Mac,
who's recently moved here
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from Australia and he's having
a problem with a co-worker.
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Hello, Mac. Welcome to Seattle.
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I'm listening.
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MAC: Well, mate,
it's like the sheila said.
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I'm working with a real yobbo.
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He goes on and on about things
nobody gives a billabong about,
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just to show off how smart he is.
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Well, you have my sympathy.
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There is nothing more irritating than
pointless and pretentious erudition.
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My advice to you is to simply avoid him.
Is that possible?
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Not really, you bloody wallaby.
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You're on right before me!
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Stay tuned for the Bulldog! [BARKS]
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[LINE CLICKS]
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Well, that's one on me.
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Or rather one on me
and my call screener, Roz,
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whose ancestors were once heard remarking:
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"Oh, what a nice wooden horse.
Of course, I'll sign for it."
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00:02:12,524 --> 00:02:16,360
This is Dr. Frasier Crane
wishing you good mental health.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Gotcha!
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How many times have I asked you
to desist with your adolescent antics?
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-Oh, get a sense of humor.
-Look, I mean it.
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-I will go over your head.
-Oh, stop it! You're scaring me!
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Listen, you sleazy, little Lyme
tick, you do that one more time
46
00:02:32,964 --> 00:02:36,509
and I'll cut you off, and I
don't mean mid-sentence.
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00:02:37,176 --> 00:02:38,526
Stop it. You're scaring me.
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Do you believe the sophomoric
hi-jinks I have to put with?
49
00:02:45,395 --> 00:02:47,229
No. Who would've thought it from a station
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whose current motto is,
"Yakkety-yak, we talk back."
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Yeah. Oh, run along, Niles.
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Oh, hello, Dr. Crane.
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00:02:57,283 --> 00:02:59,619
Miss Costas, I'd like you to
meet my brother, Dr. Niles Crane.
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-How do you do?
-Enchanté.
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00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:03,498
I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm
off to get tickets for Frasier and me
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to the Japanese Nitsuki exhibit.
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You'll love it. I saw it in Kyoto.
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It's just such a shame they're not letting
the really rare pieces out of the country.
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Oh.
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As my Japanese gardener says:
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[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
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Watch your mouth.
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Oh, you speak Japanese. Well…
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I'll just retreat now, so that I
can be one with my humiliation.
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-Uh, Kate, could I have a word with you?
-I'm in kind of a hurry.
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Yes, well, this'll just take a moment.
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I seriously doubt that. But go ahead.
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00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:42,709
Yes, well, I've tried to deal
with this problem on my own,
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but Bulldog insists on interrupting
my show with his foolish pranks.
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-Yeah, I heard.
-I did not spend eight grueling years
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at Harvard to be mocked
by that juvenile jackass.
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-Shameless.
-Oh, he's beyond shameless.
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I'm talking about the way you manage
to get Harvard into every conversation.
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I'm sure you'll mention your alma
mater too someday when it's accredited.
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00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:08,406
Gee, you sure know how to ask for help.
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00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:10,950
-Oh, I'm sorry. I am sorry.
-All right, all right!
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I'll take care of it.
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-Just make sure that he understands…
-You went to Harvard. I know.
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I'll tell him.
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MAN: Hey, the key to this
game is the Huskies' secondary.
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Jack, how can I put
this to you delicately?
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You're a moron!
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Shut up!
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You don't know squat.
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You know less than squat.
You and squat could go to the movies,
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and squat could wear an
"I'm With Stupid" T-shirt.
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You're awesome, Bulldog.
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Hey, way to nail that blowhard Dr. Crane.
You are the greatest!
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Yeah, whatever. Shut up.
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00:04:38,148 --> 00:04:38,982
Now, look,
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all you guys sending in these postcards
to win tickets to the Seahawks game,
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do I need another picture
of the Space Needle?
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Chicks in thongs.
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Enough said?
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We'll be back right after this.
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Um, hey, what I just said. I'm sorry.
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I meant to say "women in thongs."
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Stop busting Frasier's chops. Enough said?
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00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,009
Well, I could, but see
all these lines lit up?
100
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,443
They're all waiting to
tell me how funny it was.
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00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,058
Are all these callers
waiting to tell Bulldog
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how much they like the
joke he played on Frasier?
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All except the guy on nine.
He thinks Bulldog sucks.
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-Because of what he did to Frasier?
-No, just in general.
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So, what do you want me to do?
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If you think I'm gonna allow you
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to publicly mock one of our
most respected hosts on air,
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just for the sake of higher ratings,
you and I are gonna get along just fine.
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[THUNDER RUMBLING]
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Come on, Eddie.
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You love pâté and this is the good stuff.
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Uh-oh.
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Two syllables every homeowner
loves to hear upon entering the door.
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Would that have
anything to do with the fact
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that you're feeding my
imported foie gras to a dog?
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I'm sorry, but it calms
him during the thunder.
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Oh, well, heaven forbid
Eddie should ever work a nerve.
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When Niles gets here, we'll
have sherry and Snausages.
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That reminds me,
Dr. Crane will be a bit late.
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Your father asked him to stop at the
vet and pick up some pills for Eddie.
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[PHONE RINGS]
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I know. He's had a hard day.
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How come no one ever
brings me tranquilizers?
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I've often wondered that myself.
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Hello?
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[PRETENTIOUS VOICE]
Hello, this is Dr. Julius Irving.
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I'm calling for Dr. Niles Crane.
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His receptionist said he might be there.
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I'm sorry.
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I am expecting him, if you'd
like to leave a message.
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Oh, no, no, nothing important.
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Some of the boys here at the club
have a little bet going about The Mikado.
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Well, perhaps I can help.
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I'm Niles' brother, Dr. Frasier
Crane, and as luck would have it,
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I was in an all-male version
of The Mikado at Oxford.
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People still ask to see my Yum-Yum.
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00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:11,282
I don't suppose you happen to remember
the words to "Three Little Maids"?
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Well, let me see.
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Of course, my falsetto
isn't what it used to be, but…
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[FALSETTO] ♪ Three little
maids from school are we ♪
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♪ Pert as a schoolgirl well may be ♪
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♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee ♪
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♪ Three maids in school ♪
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Dad, will you please be quiet?
I'm trying to settle a bet here.
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You sure are.
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Some caller bet Bulldog he
couldn't make you sing over the air.
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Sayonara, Doc!
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Well, Dad, I'm glad to
see that you're amused.
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-Have your own son humiliated publicly.
-Oh, come on. It's funny.
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He makes everybody look stupid.
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-The guys in the newsroom, Chopper Dave…
-Oh, not exactly a miracle transformation
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00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:01,966
when it comes to Chopper Dave,
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00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,593
a man whose life work consists
of looking down at the freeway
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and saying, "Crowded. Not crowded."
155
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-Where are you going?
-Back to the station!
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00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,811
Oh, come on, Frasier!
Don't take yourself so seriously.
157
00:08:12,895 --> 00:08:15,481
You know, we played jokes like this
all the time when I was on the force.
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The day they replaced my
bulletproof vest with a big lacy bra,
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I knew I was one of the guys.
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Thank you, Dad. That also clears
up a question that's troubled me
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for years concerning
the night you were shot.
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The Salmon?
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That's what you wanna name our
expansion hockey team? The Seattle Salmon?
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00:08:41,636 --> 00:08:43,680
Why don't you take your two
IQ points, rub them together,
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see if you can start a fire? Beat it.
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You're in the Doghouse.
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MAN 1: Hey, am I on?
168
00:08:49,187 --> 00:08:51,523
Yeah, take as long as you want. Next.
169
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,192
MAN 2: Hey, Bulldog, you're the man.
170
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How about we name them the Bulldogs?
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You wanna suck up, send money.
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Wait, wait, wait. I got another one.
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-What about the Lizards?
-I hate lizards. They're disgusting.
174
00:09:03,287 --> 00:09:06,164
They make my skin crawl. You're an idiot.
You don't deserve to live.
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00:09:06,248 --> 00:09:09,209
-You're the best, Bulldog.
-Yeah, shut up. Back in 30.
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-I warned you.
-Hey, hey, cool your jets.
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00:09:13,464 --> 00:09:15,090
Kate told me to keep busting you.
178
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Said it's good for ratings.
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-You got a beef, take it up with her.
-I don't believe you.
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00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:21,264
Pete, what did Kate say?
181
00:09:21,348 --> 00:09:23,518
-She said you're a pig.
-No, before that.
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She said to keep ragging on the doc.
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[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
184
00:09:32,361 --> 00:09:33,570
I wanna talk to Kate now!
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00:09:33,654 --> 00:09:35,906
-She's not in.
-Oh, very clever.
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00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,410
"She's not in."
Like that'll make me go away.
187
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She's not in!
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00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:45,251
Susan, I need a copy of our
contract with Nanette Stewart.
189
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,794
What's Yum-Yum doing here?
190
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,007
Never mind. I can guess.
191
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,926
You promised you would put
an end to Bulldog's shenanigans
192
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,844
and instead you encouraged him.
193
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,765
But, God, you're canceling
Pet Chat With Nanette?
194
00:09:57,849 --> 00:09:59,058
She's been on for six years.
195
00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:02,592
Yeah, but she's been floating at
the top of the bowl for the last two.
196
00:10:03,021 --> 00:10:05,440
Look, when I went in to talk to Bulldog,
197
00:10:05,524 --> 00:10:07,317
the phones were lit up like Times Square.
198
00:10:07,401 --> 00:10:08,986
His fans love it when he zaps you.
199
00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:12,156
So you would have me ridiculed
for the sake of those hyenas!
200
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,950
No, I would have you fight back.
201
00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:16,954
He takes pot shots at you, you
come back at him in your droll,
202
00:10:17,038 --> 00:10:19,623
Ivy-League, look-at-me,
I've-got-a-thesaurus kind of way.
203
00:10:19,707 --> 00:10:22,085
-It'll be funny.
-Funny?!
204
00:10:22,668 --> 00:10:23,921
Funny!
205
00:10:24,546 --> 00:10:26,923
I refuse to engage in a
battle of wits with a man
206
00:10:27,007 --> 00:10:30,678
whose favorite T-shirt reads:
"Seattle Hooter Inspector."
207
00:10:31,971 --> 00:10:33,556
Afraid of the competition?
208
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:34,932
I am a doctor!
209
00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:38,354
I went… to medical school.
210
00:10:40,314 --> 00:10:43,985
I will not embarrass myself by
engaging in a grab for ratings.
211
00:10:44,069 --> 00:10:46,404
You just announced to
a half a million listeners
212
00:10:46,488 --> 00:10:48,938
that you are filled to
the brim with girlish glee.
213
00:10:49,574 --> 00:10:52,912
I think the HMS Pinafore of
embarrassment has sailed.
214
00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:56,416
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to fire someone.
215
00:10:57,501 --> 00:11:00,254
Oh, God, she brought Spanky.
216
00:11:01,755 --> 00:11:03,507
Kate, this is not over.
217
00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:06,677
You know what your problem is?
You have no sense of humor.
218
00:11:06,761 --> 00:11:08,888
I am sick and tired of
people telling me that.
219
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,306
Well, then lighten up.
220
00:11:11,851 --> 00:11:15,520
I asked the Raiders' defensive
line to describe their tackling skills
221
00:11:15,604 --> 00:11:17,189
and here's what they said:
222
00:11:17,273 --> 00:11:19,275
FRASIER [RECORDING]:
♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪
223
00:11:19,359 --> 00:11:22,320
♪ Three little maids from school ♪
224
00:11:28,161 --> 00:11:30,079
-[DOOR OPENS]
-NILES: Good evening, Daphne.
225
00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,707
Evening, Dr. Crane.
Did you bring Eddie's pills?
226
00:11:32,791 --> 00:11:35,252
Yes. And the vet gave
very specific instructions.
227
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:39,340
"Take one tablet per hour or as
needed until trembling subsides."
228
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,218
I'm sorry, these are for Maris.
229
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,839
Those are for Eddie. There you go.
230
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:50,018
I'll just hide it in a bit of food.
231
00:11:50,102 --> 00:11:53,231
That's how Grammy Moon used to
get Granddad to take his heart medicine.
232
00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:57,443
Ah, if he had heart problems, why
wouldn't he want to take his medicine?
233
00:11:57,527 --> 00:12:00,448
Don't think that nosy coroner
didn't ask the same question.
234
00:12:02,325 --> 00:12:03,534
Num-nums, Eddie.
235
00:12:04,118 --> 00:12:06,579
Oh, he's a good boy.
236
00:12:06,663 --> 00:12:10,208
Normally, I don't believe in
popping pills for every little upset.
237
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:14,088
I quite agree. My nerves are
bothered by this constant thundering too,
238
00:12:14,172 --> 00:12:16,799
but I would never turn
to drugs to calm down.
239
00:12:17,592 --> 00:12:18,969
Oh, Mommy!
240
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:24,391
Hey, Niles, you're not gonna
believe what happened to Frasier.
241
00:12:24,475 --> 00:12:27,186
Oh, I heard the whole thing.
242
00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:29,647
-You listen to Bulldog's program?
-Yes, Dad.
243
00:12:29,731 --> 00:12:33,731
I can't sleep nights till I find out who
hurled what ball through what apparatus.
244
00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:36,197
No, no, no, it was on at the vet's.
245
00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:40,994
You would think that in
a city with this much rain
246
00:12:41,078 --> 00:12:44,205
that people would develop
an etiquette about it. But no!
247
00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:46,500
They buy umbrellas that are
too big, so you have to walk
248
00:12:46,584 --> 00:12:48,210
into the street to get around them.
249
00:12:48,294 --> 00:12:51,630
And then they drive too close to the
curb that you're sure to get splashed.
250
00:12:51,714 --> 00:12:54,593
And they wear brown
shoes with white socks!
251
00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:59,387
-What has that got to do with the rain?
-Nothing!
252
00:12:59,724 --> 00:13:01,724
But I mean, really, get a fashion sense!
253
00:13:04,604 --> 00:13:07,107
I guess things didn't go too
well down at the station, huh?
254
00:13:07,191 --> 00:13:08,484
No, they didn't.
255
00:13:08,568 --> 00:13:12,363
Turns out the station manager is
encouraging Bulldog's little pranks.
256
00:13:12,447 --> 00:13:15,867
Now she wants me to
return his fire on the air.
257
00:13:15,951 --> 00:13:18,453
I thought the idea was absurd at first.
258
00:13:18,537 --> 00:13:21,540
-But now I'm starting to warm to it.
-I say, have at him.
259
00:13:21,624 --> 00:13:24,293
He is grossly overmatched,
but he did bring this on himself.
260
00:13:24,377 --> 00:13:27,422
You're right, Niles.
If I have to fight cheap and dirty,
261
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:29,966
on his own terms, then I will.
262
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,802
[MOANS]
263
00:13:33,805 --> 00:13:37,058
-And what is that supposed to be?
-Well, I don't think it's a good idea.
264
00:13:37,142 --> 00:13:39,854
You know, Bulldog's pretty
good at this kind of thing.
265
00:13:40,521 --> 00:13:43,065
-He's a funny guy.
-And I'm not funny?
266
00:13:44,108 --> 00:13:45,526
[MOANS]
267
00:13:46,903 --> 00:13:48,530
-I don't believe this.
-Well, now,
268
00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:52,033
obviously, Dad's forgetting the time
you took the names of our wine club board
269
00:13:52,117 --> 00:13:55,079
and turned them all into
wickedly derisive anagrams.
270
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:56,873
BOTH: Cindy Assbasket!
271
00:14:01,211 --> 00:14:02,754
You see, Dad, I made you laugh.
272
00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,465
Nah, I'm looking at Eddie.
273
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:09,596
I guess he won't be needing a second pill.
274
00:14:11,514 --> 00:14:13,350
No, no, Frasier, don't get me wrong.
275
00:14:13,434 --> 00:14:14,851
I think you're witty.
276
00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:17,396
You're clever, but funny's different.
277
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,024
Funny's somebody who
makes you laugh with your belly.
278
00:14:20,108 --> 00:14:21,859
Now Bulldog's funny.
279
00:14:21,943 --> 00:14:24,404
Duke's cousin Louie,
now he's really funny.
280
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:27,075
He's like Jackie Gleason, only loud.
281
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,652
He makes you laugh so hard,
the beer comes out of your nose.
282
00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:38,045
You know what feels good through the nose?
A warm cup of cocoa.
283
00:14:42,759 --> 00:14:45,053
I just may go home
for Christmas this year.
284
00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:49,641
You know, just because I haven't
caused anyone to blow beer
285
00:14:49,725 --> 00:14:53,396
through their nostrils, it
doesn't mean that I can't.
286
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,607
Anyone who can compose a clever barb
287
00:14:55,691 --> 00:14:58,943
can certainly master the
intricacies of the whoopee cushion.
288
00:14:59,027 --> 00:15:02,114
Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that.
It's a lot harder than you think.
289
00:15:02,198 --> 00:15:04,575
All right, you just tune into
Bulldog's show tomorrow,
290
00:15:04,659 --> 00:15:08,038
pop open a beer, and
prepare for a Budweiser geyser!
291
00:15:10,666 --> 00:15:13,461
You know, Frasier, if you're
serious about that whoopee cushion,
292
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,087
I happen to have one at the house.
293
00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:19,175
Last year, a disgruntled servant
left one on Maris's dining room chair.
294
00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:21,428
Fortunately for all of us,
embarrassment was averted
295
00:15:21,512 --> 00:15:24,515
when my little fawn
proved too light to activate it.
296
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,024
BULLDOG: Well, it's 6:30, sports fans.
297
00:15:33,108 --> 00:15:35,027
That means it's time for…
298
00:15:35,111 --> 00:15:37,113
[FANFARE PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
299
00:15:38,406 --> 00:15:40,784
…our big Seahawks tickets giveaway.
300
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:44,496
Yes, my curvaceous and
bodacious assistant Darlene
301
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:47,876
is rolling in our glittering,
giant prize drum right now.
302
00:15:48,752 --> 00:15:52,046
Okay, Darlene, give it a good crank.
303
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:53,966
Whoa! Honey, I meant the drum!
304
00:15:55,426 --> 00:15:57,219
All right, here it comes, Roz.
305
00:15:57,303 --> 00:15:59,263
Hilarity ensues.
306
00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:01,849
Okay, explain this to me one more time.
307
00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:04,060
You're the one who's trying to
prove to everyone you're so funny.
308
00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:07,021
So why am I the one that
had to put the lizard in the box?
309
00:16:07,105 --> 00:16:09,984
It was just as difficult to be
the lookout! Stop whining!
310
00:16:10,485 --> 00:16:11,568
Hey, look who's here.
311
00:16:11,652 --> 00:16:15,365
It's our new boss lady,
KACL's own Kate Costas.
312
00:16:15,449 --> 00:16:18,993
-Kate's there? Oh, Frasier, Kate's there!
-No, it's even better, even better.
313
00:16:19,077 --> 00:16:21,914
Then she will be an
eyewitness to my little jape.
314
00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:23,374
Come on in, Kate.
315
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,963
Yeah, here we go. Glad you dropped in.
316
00:16:29,006 --> 00:16:30,174
Hello, Bulldog.
317
00:16:30,883 --> 00:16:31,884
Hi, Darlene.
318
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,972
Wow, look at that mighty drum.
319
00:16:37,307 --> 00:16:38,891
Yeah, give it a good spin.
320
00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:41,437
Look at those cards going round and round.
321
00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:45,983
Okay, Seattle and the winner is…
322
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:48,195
Hey, Kate, why don't you pick it?
323
00:16:49,154 --> 00:16:50,196
KATE: Okay.
324
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,865
And the lucky winner is…
325
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:54,284
Ow!
326
00:16:55,119 --> 00:16:57,789
-Something bit me!
-Oh, my God! It's a lizard!
327
00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:01,543
-Really, it got your fingertip!
-Oh, God!
328
00:17:01,627 --> 00:17:03,587
-All right, I'll get some ice!
-There it goes!
329
00:17:03,671 --> 00:17:05,130
There it goes! There it goes!
330
00:17:05,214 --> 00:17:07,800
Stop that lizard! It has my finger!
331
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,268
Roz, any news?
332
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:18,270
Oh, yeah, they sewed
her fingertip back on.
333
00:17:18,354 --> 00:17:19,730
She's gonna be fine.
334
00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:22,108
Frasier, would you wipe
that guilty look off your face?
335
00:17:22,192 --> 00:17:23,651
-What?
-No one even suspects you.
336
00:17:23,735 --> 00:17:25,987
-Why not?
-Because you made such a big deal
337
00:17:26,071 --> 00:17:28,115
about how playing pranks was beneath you.
338
00:17:28,199 --> 00:17:30,159
Well, they're not only
beneath me, they're beyond me.
339
00:17:30,243 --> 00:17:35,165
I'm going to accept my limitations and be
satisfied to merely be witty and urbane.
340
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,837
Even my most barbed
comments never drew blood.
341
00:17:40,588 --> 00:17:42,840
-Oh, God, I feel sick.
-You do?
342
00:17:42,924 --> 00:17:44,592
When the lizard threw up the fingertip,
343
00:17:44,676 --> 00:17:47,136
who had to pack it in frozen
yogurt and rush it down here?
344
00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:48,054
God.
345
00:17:48,723 --> 00:17:50,390
-I'm gonna tell her the truth.
-What?
346
00:17:50,474 --> 00:17:52,976
-Are you insane?
-Roz, I've got to unburden myself.
347
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,647
Frasier, you didn't start this.
348
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:57,106
You are the victim here.
349
00:17:57,190 --> 00:18:00,068
Why should you have to suffer
any more than you already have?
350
00:18:00,152 --> 00:18:03,002
-I'll keep your name out of it.
-Fine. Do what you want.
351
00:18:05,241 --> 00:18:06,992
I don't know when I'll be
back in the office, Susan.
352
00:18:07,076 --> 00:18:09,079
Just cancel all my appointments.
353
00:18:10,247 --> 00:18:12,666
Is there any word on who
pulled this stupid stunt?
354
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:15,044
I don't want excuses! I want names!
355
00:18:16,421 --> 00:18:19,090
Can you hurry up that shot?
I'm in agony here.
356
00:18:19,174 --> 00:18:22,219
Kate, I see that your strength is back.
357
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,096
Brought some flowers.
358
00:18:24,847 --> 00:18:27,558
What kind of raving psychotic
would do a thing like this?
359
00:18:27,642 --> 00:18:31,938
Oh, you know, people use that
word psychotic an awful lot these days.
360
00:18:32,022 --> 00:18:35,025
A kid steals a candy bar.
Suddenly he's a psychotic.
361
00:18:36,444 --> 00:18:40,323
I'm gonna find him and
I'm gonna crush him.
362
00:18:41,157 --> 00:18:44,057
Are you sure that's enough?
Now make sure that all goes in.
363
00:18:46,205 --> 00:18:47,655
Call me if you need anything.
364
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:56,133
[STAMMERING] Well, Kate,
I came here for a reason.
365
00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:57,342
Oh, let me guess.
366
00:18:57,426 --> 00:18:59,011
Someone parked in your space?
367
00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:03,642
No, but if someone had, I
would have forgiven him.
368
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,895
Just as I'm sure you will forgive…
369
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:07,854
Who?
370
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:12,318
Well, I'm sure that the
poor, misguided prankster
371
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:16,573
that perpetrated this evil deed
really had no ill-will in mind.
372
00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:19,743
It wasn't his or her intention to… [GASPS]
373
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:25,000
You know, that Nanette from Pet Chat!
374
00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:28,086
She had a real ax to grind.
375
00:19:29,797 --> 00:19:31,090
-What?
-What?
376
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,926
-You giggled.
-Oh.
377
00:19:35,302 --> 00:19:36,471
It's kind of funny.
378
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,181
-What?
-What?
379
00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:41,560
What's funny?
380
00:19:42,185 --> 00:19:44,355
Oh, I was just remembering.
381
00:19:45,523 --> 00:19:46,649
-What?
-What?
382
00:19:48,609 --> 00:19:51,196
Oh. Oh, the shot's kicking in, isn't it?
383
00:19:51,947 --> 00:19:54,240
Wouldn't you know he'd
bite my middle finger.
384
00:19:54,324 --> 00:19:55,868
How am I supposed to drive?
385
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:02,458
You know, Kate, maybe now
386
00:20:02,542 --> 00:20:06,588
-would be a good time to tell you…
-You know, you know, life is so funny.
387
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:09,341
One minute you're standing in a hallway,
388
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:12,679
the next minute you're a
pupu platter for a lizard.
389
00:20:14,598 --> 00:20:16,349
That's a funny word, isn't it?
390
00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:17,935
Hallway.
391
00:20:20,730 --> 00:20:23,880
-You wanna hear something really funny?
-And Bulldog looked…
392
00:20:25,527 --> 00:20:26,612
Bulldog looked…
393
00:20:28,906 --> 00:20:31,283
Oh, see, now you're starting to get tired.
394
00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:32,368
I should go.
395
00:20:36,791 --> 00:20:39,626
Kate, Kate, before you go to sleep,
396
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:43,130
there's just one last funny
thing I want to tell you.
397
00:20:43,757 --> 00:20:44,758
Okay.
398
00:20:47,469 --> 00:20:49,137
I put the lizard in the box.
399
00:20:49,763 --> 00:20:50,973
Okay.
400
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:06,533
Oh, God, it's alive!
401
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:09,952
You what?
402
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,872
Well, it was meant for Bulldog.
403
00:21:11,956 --> 00:21:14,375
It was all an accident.
I never intended to…
404
00:21:18,588 --> 00:21:19,422
Kate?
405
00:21:22,884 --> 00:21:23,718
Kate?
406
00:21:27,181 --> 00:21:29,183
[FRASIER SCREAMING]
407
00:21:33,188 --> 00:21:34,272
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
408
00:21:34,356 --> 00:21:36,316
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
409
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,320
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
410
00:21:40,071 --> 00:21:41,238
Mercy.
411
00:21:41,322 --> 00:21:43,574
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
412
00:21:43,658 --> 00:21:46,161
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
413
00:21:46,245 --> 00:21:48,288
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
414
00:21:48,372 --> 00:21:50,332
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
415
00:21:50,416 --> 00:21:53,461
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
416
00:21:54,504 --> 00:21:55,755
♪ They're callin' again ♪
417
00:21:56,756 --> 00:21:59,719
Frasier has left the building.