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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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That's our show for today.
Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe is up next.
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Oh, yes! This is KACL Cash Call Week.
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$5,000 if you answer your
phone with the phrase that pays.
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When your phone rings, don't say "hello."
Say…
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Well, blow me down!
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No. Say, "KACL is the talk
of the town, talk of Seattle."
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Whatever. Bye-bye.
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Sam! Sam! Oh, my God!
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-What are you doing in town?
-Uh, I'm here interviewing for a job.
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The Mariners need a
pitching coach and called me.
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-They did? I mean, that's great.
-Yeah.
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Come on in.
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-You're off the air?
-Yes.
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Fras, I got to go.
Your messages are on my desk.
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Whoa. Who is this?
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I'm Sam Malone.
I was a buddy of Frasier's in Boston.
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This is Roz Doyle.
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This is the Sam who has no respect
for women and treats them like dirt?
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Need anyone to show you around Seattle?
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I'm all right with the city, but I
get real lost in my hotel room.
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Oh, boy.
Look at the two of you, face to face.
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Wild animals all over the North West
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are lifting their heads,
alerted to the scent.
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Bye, Roz.
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If you need any company, give me a call.
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-Thanks. Snazzy card.
-It glows in the dark.
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-So do I.
-FRASIER: Oh.
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So how's everybody at Cheers?
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Wow. Well, let's see…
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Rebecca finally married that plumber.
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She tries so hard to land a rich guy
and ends up with an ordinary plumber.
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He struck gold. He's got a patent
on some low-flow toilet thing.
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He's rich beyond her wildest dreams.
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-I'm happy for her.
-Don't be. He dumped her.
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Oh.
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-She's back at the bar.
-Working at Cheers again?
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No, she's just back at the bar.
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Here's some good news.
Woody and Kelly had a baby boy.
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Oh! That is wonderful!
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Is he…
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No, he's smart. He's smart.
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Genetics takes a holiday, huh?
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-Want to continue this over lunch?
-I'd like that.
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Norm and Cliff still holding up the bar?
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Uh, Norm is, but Cliff
hasn't been in in a while.
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He read about that flesh-eating bacteria
and hasn't left his mom's house since.
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It's good 'cause a lot of
people who haven't been around
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-are starting to come back to the bar.
-Oh.
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Sam was a major league ballplayer.
Put out the good china.
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And don't forget the Limoges spittoon.
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Sam's the most important person
ever to set foot in this apartment.
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I don't understand this American
obsession with sports figures.
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They're so superficial.
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Yeah. They don't do anything important
like sit on a throne or christen ships.
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MARTIN: Niles, why didn't you bring Maris?
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Ask Maris to spend an
evening with a baseball player?
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Why don't I just ask
her to rub my shoulders?
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-Here we are.
-Whoa. Wow, look at this.
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You got quite a babe magnet here.
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Oh…
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Oh! Sam Malone! Hey, I'm Marty Crane.
I'm one of your biggest fans!
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I was at the Kingdome the night you
gave up four consecutive home runs.
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I'll bet you remember that, don't you?
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No, that was during my drinking phase.
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-Did I hit anybody? Did I hurt them?
-No.
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Hey, that was a good game, then.
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-This is my chair. You want to sit in it?
-Oh, yeah. Well, maybe later.
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Oh.
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I'll keep it warm for you.
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-This is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane.
-Pleasure to meet you.
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You too. Man, this is freaky.
He looks just like you did when I met you.
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What happened, huh?
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It wasn't exactly a health club
you were running there, Sam.
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This is strange.
I didn't know he had a brother.
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In all the time you spent swapping
bon mots with the beer-nut set,
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you never mentioned you had a brother?
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I bet he said something, but when he
gets going, you have to tune him out.
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Good slogan for his show: "When he
gets going, you have to tune him out."
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What did he say about me?
The father, the old cop?
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Uh… He told me you were dead.
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-Dead?
-We had had an argument.
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You called me a stuffed
shirt and hung up on me.
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You're a cop?
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You told me he was a research scientist.
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You were dead! What did it matter?
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[CLEARS THROAT] Hello.
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Daphne, this is Sam Malone.
Daphne Moon, Dad's physical therapist.
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Well, pleasure to meet you.
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-Daphne's from England.
-I'm a sucker for the accent.
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No matter what you say, it always
sounds so classy and sophisticated.
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Oh…
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See what I mean?
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That kills me every time.
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Let me get that. You shouldn't
spend her whole evening in the kitchen.
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Oh! [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
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Is Sam flirting with Daphne?
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Of course he is. He flirts with everybody.
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He's a sexual compulsive.
But he's getting help in a support group.
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DAPHNE: Oh! [LAUGHING]
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Did he miss a meeting?
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[PHONE RINGS]
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Hello? You'd like to speak to Sam? Uh…
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-Who is it?
-Who's calling, please?
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Sheila.
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Mm-mm-mm.
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Uh, he's not here, but
I'm expecting him soon.
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-No! Number two!
-I'm sorry. I was mistaken.
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He was here, but he left.
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Uh…
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I'll give him the message. Thank you.
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I'm sorry, Sam.
I'm a little out of practice.
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So… who's Sheila?
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Just the woman I'm supposed to marry.
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Marry? When?
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Oh, boy. Um, yesterday.
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-Yesterday.
-I don't want to talk about it.
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-But, Sam…
-Fras, please?
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Oh, wow. Something smells yummy here.
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-Wait a second. I think it's me.
-Oh!
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The smell… And I thought…
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Come on, Sam, one more.
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All right. 1949, Yankees, initials V.R.
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-Vic Raschi.
-Oh. You're great!
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You just have to give him the
city, the date and the initials,
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gets it every time.
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That's similar to a game
Frasier and I play. I'll go first.
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1962, Prague Philharmonic,
viola section, initials C.M.
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-Czeslaw Milovicz.
-Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
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No, Milovicz was first
viola the year before,
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but by '62, he'd developed
rosin poisoning and couldn't pluck.
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Oh, damn.
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That's a trick question!
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Well, I'm off to bed.
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Thanks, Sam.
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-The chair's all yours. Come on!
-Yeah.
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All right.
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Oh, yeah. That's very nice.
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-Night, all.
-NILES: Good night, Dad.
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-I'll be turning in too.
-Pleasant dreams.
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No problem there.
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Well, I'm off to my Maris.
If the clock strikes 12
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and she hasn't felt my kiss upon
her forehead, she gets nervous.
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-Sam, it's been a pleasure meeting you.
-You too.
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You want to put a smile on Maris' face?
Let me tell you what you do.
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[WHISPERING]
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Where would I find whipped
cream and a car battery at this hour?
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You got neighbors, don't you?
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Now that everybody's gone, there
was something I wanted to bring up.
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What is it? Oh, yes!
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What do you mean you
were about to get married?
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All right, all right. Uh…
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I met this girl six months ago and
we were supposed to get married.
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Yesterday, I was standing in this
church and I hear this minister say,
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"Will you take this woman
to be your wife?" And I said,
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"Who, me?"
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I ran down the aisle and
didn't stop running till I got here.
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You're not here because of the Mariners?
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00:10:08,057 --> 00:10:10,850
No ballplayer is in Seattle
because of the Mariners.
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00:10:12,935 --> 00:10:16,437
All right. Sam, let's have a seat here
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and start this thing
from the very beginning.
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-Who is this woman?
-Oh, she's terrific. Smart, funny, horny.
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The kind of chick you want
to stick up on a pedestal.
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It's always amazed me how you can
elevate and demean in the same sentence.
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00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:39,497
-What?
-Forget it, just…
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How do you think she found me here?
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I guess you left a lot of clues
because you wanted her to find you.
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I have a feeling
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00:10:52,381 --> 00:10:53,382
that you actually…
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Want to marry this girl.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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Sam, you just panicked.
It's perfectly natural.
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The wedding ceremony
represents the end of your old life.
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I tell you, man, she's one in a million.
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For most guys, that's just an expression.
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I have a feeling that you're finally
ready for a commitment like this.
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00:11:25,322 --> 00:11:28,699
-Get on that phone and call her.
-What would I say, though?
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00:11:28,783 --> 00:11:31,576
Tell her you panicked
and ran, tell her the truth.
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Honesty is the cornerstone
of a healthy relationship.
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00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:39,708
Thank you.
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00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:44,711
It's time I stepped up to the
plate and stopped acting like a kid.
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Absolutely. The only question now is:
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Will she still take you back?
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00:12:01,015 --> 00:12:05,185
-ROZ: She forgave him?
-Yes. She's on her way here.
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00:12:05,269 --> 00:12:07,144
They're getting married in Hawaii.
186
00:12:07,228 --> 00:12:11,314
Same old story. Love triumphs over Roz.
187
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:16,193
Don't be a sore loser. I invited them
here on their way in from the airport.
188
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,696
I remember my wedding day,
feeling faint, shaking, sweating.
189
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,823
Maris was so distraught,
thinking I had cold feet.
190
00:12:23,907 --> 00:12:28,369
She was relieved to learn it was
just a congenital heart murmur.
191
00:12:30,746 --> 00:12:32,455
-SAM: Hey, everybody.
-Oh, Sam!
192
00:12:32,539 --> 00:12:36,917
Here she is, the future Mrs. Sam Malone.
193
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:40,252
-Sheila, Frasier.
-Nice to finally meet you.
194
00:12:40,336 --> 00:12:44,297
Sheila, likewise.
Uh, this is Roz and Niles.
195
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:48,092
-Congratulations.
-You want to sit down?
196
00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:50,802
Actually, it was a long flight.
197
00:12:50,886 --> 00:12:53,804
I was hoping to go to
the hotel and freshen up.
198
00:12:54,263 --> 00:12:58,099
All right.
Will you join us for dinner about 8:00?
199
00:12:58,183 --> 00:12:59,558
Sure. Right.
200
00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:03,687
Uh, well, I guess we're
off to freshen up a little.
201
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:11,860
-Oh, my God.
-She's not an "Oh, my God."
202
00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:14,403
No. Not that "Oh, my God."
203
00:13:15,237 --> 00:13:17,864
Oh, my God, I slept with
that woman three months ago.
204
00:13:21,074 --> 00:13:23,368
-ROZ: You slept with her?
-Yes.
205
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:26,162
On what desert island with
no hope of rescue was this?
206
00:13:29,873 --> 00:13:33,083
I was in Boston for a long weekend.
207
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:35,043
I was feeling a little depressed
208
00:13:35,127 --> 00:13:39,964
so I took solace in
the arms of a beautiful
209
00:13:40,589 --> 00:13:43,717
and remarkably welcoming
young woman at a hotel bar.
210
00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:46,301
-And that was she?
-No, Niles.
211
00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:48,762
I told you that for no reason whatsoever.
212
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,472
Of course it was she!
213
00:13:51,556 --> 00:13:53,432
See the way she ran out
the minute she saw me?
214
00:13:53,516 --> 00:13:55,559
The trademark of all your bed mates.
215
00:13:59,854 --> 00:14:04,857
Three months ago? Sam said
they'd been together for six months.
216
00:14:04,941 --> 00:14:07,943
It looks like this horse race is on again.
217
00:14:09,319 --> 00:14:14,614
Oh, put the weapon down!
Stop it, Roz! Have you no scruples?
218
00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:18,075
-You slept with your friend's fiancée!
-I didn't know at the time!
219
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:22,621
-You have to tell Sam about this.
-And ruin our relationship and theirs?
220
00:14:23,412 --> 00:14:27,457
I've got to speak to her first.
Hear her side of this story.
221
00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:30,334
There are many reasons
why people have affairs.
222
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:31,919
Roz, want to get us started?
223
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:38,799
Niles. Maybe they stopped seeing
each other for a couple of weeks.
224
00:14:38,883 --> 00:14:42,218
Or he cheated on her
and she was getting even.
225
00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:45,220
Maybe she just found me irresistible.
226
00:14:45,304 --> 00:14:47,180
-Oh, yeah, that's it!
-Oh, all right.
227
00:14:47,264 --> 00:14:48,473
You struck gold there.
228
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,269
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
229
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:59,314
-Hello, Frasier.
-Hello, Sheila. Good to see you again.
230
00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:02,649
Sam, you are one lucky guy!
231
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:07,237
-He's out getting our plane tickets.
-Good. You have some explaining to do.
232
00:15:07,821 --> 00:15:10,364
-Okay. Wine?
-No, thank you.
233
00:15:11,198 --> 00:15:12,241
Look.
234
00:15:13,742 --> 00:15:16,410
I know this doesn't excuse what I did,
235
00:15:16,494 --> 00:15:18,954
but I had no idea that
you were a friend of Sam's.
236
00:15:19,997 --> 00:15:25,042
I'm a sexual compulsive.
That's how Sam and I met, in group.
237
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:32,840
Look. That night I spent with
you, I guess I just fell off the wagon.
238
00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:36,301
It was terrible. I felt awful afterwards.
239
00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:42,346
It ended up being a turning point for me.
That's how it is with addiction.
240
00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:45,516
Before you get better,
you have to hit rock bottom.
241
00:15:50,185 --> 00:15:51,604
Yes. Well…
242
00:15:52,396 --> 00:15:54,355
I'm glad I could be down there for you.
243
00:15:59,151 --> 00:16:00,152
Listen, Frasier.
244
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:04,155
I'm human. I made a mistake.
Can you understand that?
245
00:16:05,196 --> 00:16:06,656
Of course I can understand.
246
00:16:07,657 --> 00:16:10,659
I've had many patients
that share your affliction,
247
00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:13,452
although only you can hit
248
00:16:13,536 --> 00:16:16,336
the emergency button of an
elevator with a stiletto heel.
249
00:16:18,582 --> 00:16:23,794
I love Sam. I'll do everything I
can to make this marriage work.
250
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:27,463
You seem sincere about this.
251
00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:31,008
I think I can support this marriage. But…
252
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,595
If you start to feel yourself
slipping, here's my number.
253
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:40,389
No, no.
So I can help you as a psychiatrist!
254
00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:42,808
Thank you.
255
00:16:43,225 --> 00:16:47,061
I think it's probably
best if we don't tell
256
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:50,313
-Sam about the two of us.
-Agreed.
257
00:16:50,397 --> 00:16:52,356
Not that I have a guilty conscience.
258
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,490
-I'm back.
-[SHOUTS]
259
00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:57,861
You all right?
260
00:16:59,821 --> 00:17:01,197
Got a little Charley horse.
261
00:17:02,239 --> 00:17:07,201
-Did you get the tickets, Sam?
-Yeah, I did. They're right here.
262
00:17:07,285 --> 00:17:11,913
I'm so happy. By this time tomorrow,
we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Sam Malone.
263
00:17:13,456 --> 00:17:17,250
Yeah.
Um, I want to talk to you about that.
264
00:17:17,334 --> 00:17:18,168
Um…
265
00:17:19,169 --> 00:17:23,171
Frasier said something the other
day that really stuck in my mind.
266
00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:24,839
What did I say?
267
00:17:24,923 --> 00:17:29,301
Uh, that thing about honesty
being something of something…
268
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:31,469
It was pro-honesty.
269
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,308
Being the cornerstone
of a good relationship?
270
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,559
Right. That really stuck in my mind.
271
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:46,564
I haven't been honest with you.
272
00:17:47,106 --> 00:17:48,190
What do you mean?
273
00:17:49,316 --> 00:17:53,903
When we get married, I want us
to have a clean slate, sweetheart.
274
00:17:54,820 --> 00:18:00,700
I hope you can forgive me for this,
but a few months ago, I had a slip.
275
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:06,162
It was two slips, but they were
simultaneous, so I'm counting it as one.
276
00:18:09,665 --> 00:18:12,083
Was this after you were engaged?
277
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,418
Uh, actually, it was that night.
278
00:18:18,212 --> 00:18:20,672
I'm so sorry.
279
00:18:20,756 --> 00:18:24,968
It has not happened since and
I swear it will not happen again.
280
00:18:25,593 --> 00:18:27,928
-Sam, I forgive you.
-You do?
281
00:18:28,012 --> 00:18:32,848
I'm relieved.
I have something I need to confess to you.
282
00:18:32,932 --> 00:18:36,684
You're not the only one who slipped.
283
00:18:36,768 --> 00:18:39,561
I think it's time you
guys had a little privacy.
284
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:45,066
No, you're responsible for getting
us this far. We have no secrets.
285
00:18:45,816 --> 00:18:46,817
All right.
286
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,069
Who?
287
00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:54,656
Well, that's what makes it so tough.
It was someone from Cheers.
288
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:58,283
I parked in a loading zone!
289
00:18:58,367 --> 00:18:59,744
Sam, I slept with Paul.
290
00:19:01,037 --> 00:19:02,037
Paul?
291
00:19:03,288 --> 00:19:04,997
-Short?
-Bald?
292
00:19:05,081 --> 00:19:06,248
-Fat?
-Paul?
293
00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:09,459
I didn't say it was good.
294
00:19:11,335 --> 00:19:14,087
All right. I understand that.
295
00:19:14,171 --> 00:19:18,006
You were giving Paul a break or something.
296
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,175
I can forgive that.
Isn't this all about forgiveness?
297
00:19:21,259 --> 00:19:25,846
Okay. You told one, you told one.
We're all even. Let's go eat.
298
00:19:27,681 --> 00:19:31,184
-There was someone else.
-Are we still on this?
299
00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:36,854
I mean, there is honesty and
there's beating a dead horse!
300
00:19:37,938 --> 00:19:42,900
-It doesn't matter who it is.
-Yes, it does matter.
301
00:19:42,984 --> 00:19:46,152
This one is really embarrassing.
302
00:19:46,236 --> 00:19:49,071
I was lonely, I was desperate
303
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:52,574
and I'd just been to the eye
doctor and my pupils were dilated.
304
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:58,578
Oh, Sheila, for God's sake!
I'll tell him. She's trying to say…
305
00:19:58,662 --> 00:19:59,663
It was Cliff.
306
00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:07,044
I believe she said Cliff.
307
00:20:09,962 --> 00:20:10,963
Cliff?
308
00:20:11,755 --> 00:20:14,633
Cliff? You slept With Cliff?
309
00:20:15,758 --> 00:20:21,554
[YELLING] Cliff! No, that's it!
Wedding's off! Cliff! Oh, God!
310
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,226
Frasier, you've got to help me.
You've got to talk to him.
311
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:31,603
I slept with a woman who slept with Cliff?
312
00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:40,944
Oh, boy. This will be a long flight home.
313
00:20:41,736 --> 00:20:45,614
Well, I know it was painful, Sam,
but you made the right decision.
314
00:20:46,406 --> 00:20:47,865
Yeah, I suppose.
315
00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:50,284
Jeez! Cliff.
316
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,787
You're just using Cliff as the excuse.
317
00:20:55,913 --> 00:20:59,313
There were more compelling
reasons for you to back out of this thing.
318
00:21:01,835 --> 00:21:03,127
No, it was Cliff.
319
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:11,758
To put this thing aside
once and for all, I…
320
00:21:11,842 --> 00:21:15,427
You're probably the only friend
I have who she didn't sleep with.
321
00:21:21,641 --> 00:21:22,641
Cliff.
322
00:21:24,226 --> 00:21:26,978
That is a tough one to swallow, huh?
323
00:21:29,063 --> 00:21:32,732
But you proved yourself
ready for a commitment,
324
00:21:32,816 --> 00:21:34,441
even if Sheila wasn't the one.
325
00:21:35,776 --> 00:21:37,319
I suppose so.
326
00:21:37,403 --> 00:21:38,570
In a way, we're…
327
00:21:40,029 --> 00:21:41,281
Both in the same boat.
328
00:21:41,864 --> 00:21:44,658
-What do you mean?
-Well, you know,
329
00:21:45,492 --> 00:21:47,702
we've tried, we've failed.
330
00:21:49,328 --> 00:21:50,495
But we'll try again.
331
00:21:51,705 --> 00:21:54,206
We're looking for a
meaningful relationship.
332
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:57,833
That's the word, "meaningful."
333
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,420
-We'll find it though, buddy.
-You bet we will.
334
00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:07,424
Stewardesses usually
hang out at the airport bar.
335
00:22:07,508 --> 00:22:09,176
That sounds "meaningful" to me.
336
00:22:16,265 --> 00:22:17,348
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
337
00:22:17,432 --> 00:22:19,818
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
338
00:22:19,902 --> 00:22:21,977
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
339
00:22:23,061 --> 00:22:24,187
Mercy.
340
00:22:24,271 --> 00:22:26,522
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
341
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:29,315
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
342
00:22:29,399 --> 00:22:31,442
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
343
00:22:31,526 --> 00:22:33,110
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
344
00:22:33,194 --> 00:22:36,613
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
345
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,741
♪ They're callin' again ♪
346
00:22:40,365 --> 00:22:41,491
Thank you!