[THEME SONG PLAYING]
JUNE: Well, my husband is always criticizing me
because in restaurants I like to listen in on strangers' conversations.
I don't know why he makes such a big deal out of nothing.
Well, June, I suppose your lack of interest
makes your husband feel invisible.
Imagine what it must be like to sit across from someone who's constantly scanning,
searching, craning their neck to see just what the hell is going on out there.
Oh, gosh, you're right. I've been insensitive.
It's just common decency to stay focused on the other person.
Huh? What?
Oh, well, good for you, Jane.
June.
Oh, yeah, well, whatever.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL, 780.
What is going on?
Oh, our beloved station manager decided we're not getting our raise this year.
What? This is an outrage! I have a contract!
Don't palpitate. It doesn't apply to the on-air talent.
Oh, thank God.
I'm sorry. I was being selfish, wasn't I?
I, uh, feel very ashamed.
It is, nevertheless, an outrage.
It's not a personal outrage, but certainly a family of man outrage.
Frasier, I spent that raise already, on my new diamond earrings.
And I loved them. I loved them so much I slept with them.
Roz, as long as you're doing it for love, it's a step in the right direction.
Real supportive, Frasier.
We've been getting that raise every year
and now this Nazi in nylons comes waltzing in here
and cancels it with some vague crap about "corporate belt tightening."
This isn't fair!
-[MURMURING] -Oh, oh, actually you're right.
Maybe you should tell her what you just told me.
Except I would leave out the "Nazi in nylons" bit.
It's not your best icebreaker.
Oh, you're damn right we're gonna tell her.
ALL: Yeah!
We've all been here a hell of a lot longer than she has.
-Yeah! -That's it.
If she pushes us, we push back.
She's standing right behind me, isn't she?
Yeah. Is there a problem?
No? Good.
-Kate? -Yeah.
These people would like to speak with you.
No, I'm sorry. I can't talk right now. I've got a meeting.
Well, I'm, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
I think your meeting can wait five minutes.
Now they're a little upset about your memo.
-I think you should discuss it with them. -Dr. Crane, I wrote the memo.
I signed the memo. I posted the memo.
If I had anything more to say, I would've put it, anybody?
-In the memo? -Bravo.
Okay, if she wants to play tough, we'll play tough back.
We still have a lot of power here. Now we could go on strike…
[GROANING]
-Yes! -No, I think you should listen to Roz.
Every year, in exchange for your hard work,
you receive a five percent raise.
Now you've fulfilled your part of the bargain,
she has blithely changed the deal.
In the hood they call that being dissed.
Yes, my streetwise friend.
You have a right to stand up for yourselves.
Okay, we gonna do this? Are we together?
What's the point?
If we strike, they'll just replace us. They only care about the on-air people.
So we'll get their support. Frasier just said he's on our side.
-I did? -Yes!
Well, yes, I did. I did.
Yes. But my meager endorsement is meaningless
without the support of the other talent.
Did you hear that? Frasier's gonna get everyone on our side.
[STAMMERS] I'd love to help,
but, you know, I'm already in hot water with that woman.
You can't ask me to raise a mutiny against her.
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one."
James Tiberius Kirk, captain, Starship Enterprise.
Go away, you annoying little man.
Please?
Oh, all right. All right. You organize your people.
I'll talk to mine.
[MURMURING]
Hey, beat it.
[BARKING]
Hey, if you can't run with the Bulldog, stay on the porch.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Niles. -Good evening.
You left your Montblanc in my car so I…
I see cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, milling…
If I were suspicious, I'd say you were having a party
and I wasn't invited.
-Feel like a wiener, Niles? -Indeed I do.
Niles, this is not a party.
And, Dad, that is 14-dollar-a-pound andouille sausage.
Wow. That means Eddie ate about 30 bucks worth.
Niles, these are station colleagues. We're here to discuss a labor dispute.
Oh, well, fight on, people.
You know, there is no greater friend to the working man than my own Maris.
Remember when our stable boy Joaquim's appendix burst?
She had him driven back to the border at her own personal expense.
Ah, good evening, Frasier.
Gil, Cheryl, Floyd.
Oh, what a stunning apartment.
The palate is pure subtle elegance,
the detailing, well, it's inspired and the furnishings.
Oh, dear, is that a chair?
That is my father's chair.
Oh, well, this must be your father.
Hi, Marty Crane.
-You put on quite a show. -Oh, you've heard my little program.
No, I mean just coming through the door.
Doc, Doc, can we hurry this thing up? I got a charity event tonight.
She's not much to look at, but what the hell?
Okay, well, since we're all here, um…
Now regarding management's
claim of financial distress. I've done some checking around,
and I have found that the advertising revenues are up
-11 and a half percent. -[DAPHNE YELPS]
-Gil Chesterton, the restaurant critic. -Yes.
Oh, I just love those wicked things you say when the food is bad.
Well, keep bringing these and you won't be disappointed.
The wage freeze is unwarranted.
It is simply a ploy of an overly ambitious station manager,
and typical of this woman, she has terrorized us.
She has tampered with our shows.
It's time we said "no" to this Princess of Darkness.
I got a better idea.
Why don't we just walk up to Mike Tyson and tell him he talks funny?
What about our support staff?
If we don't back this strike, they may lose their jobs.
They're powerless without our support.
Frasier, old man, why do they need raises?
You're talking about people who eat corn dogs and nachos.
That statement is appallingly elitist.
Well, thank you, Mr. Everyday People.
Hey, I'm sure we'd all like to help these people,
but we need our jobs.
We're working stiffs, too, living from paycheck to paycheck
just like they are.
Excuse me. Someone's blocking me in downstairs.
Who has a BMW?
A red BMW?
With a red interior?
-Oh, well, that's me. -Just give me your key.
-I'll leave it with the doorman. -Oh, no, no, I was just leaving.
-Oh, I'm going, too. -But, where are your ethics?
-Where is your conscience? -No, where's your john?
I need to slap on some Canoe.
Hey, I'm with you people. The heck with the workers. You got yours.
Hey, damn right.
And chances are after the station manager crushes the little people,
she won't come after you big shots.
Right. Why would she?
Well, I mean, I suppose if she's trying to save money,
you're the big ticket items
and after all this, well, she won't have to worry about
the support staff backing you guys up, will she?
Oh, but no, that's crazy.
You're not suggesting that Kate might be coming after our money next?
No, she wouldn't do that.
She's a peach, right? Soft as a cream puff.
And we all know no one here is over-paid.
Suddenly I'm feeling very Norma Rae.
Great. I'll get us some more wine.
Dad, that was brilliant using reverse psychology.
I guess living with me is rubbing off on you a little bit.
Well, I guess it's only natural that environmental factors
-would influence personality development. -All right, Dad.
Oh, wait, I, I hope I didn't hit some long repressed Oedipal nerve.
Very funny.
Because the last thing we'd want is for you
to be sublimating your anger passive-aggressively.
Oh, all right! Just stop it, you wiseass.
Hey, looks like I'm rubbing off on you, too.
All right, people, I have spoken with the on-air talent and I…
[SHUSHES] Ixnay, Dr. Crane.
Oh, yes, you've really dropped the cone of silence now.
Anyway, I have delivered on my promise.
The talent is behind you. If you strike, we strike.
-All for one and one for all! -Yeah!
Okay, so, who is our spokesperson? Who is leading the charge?
I am. You wanna make something of it? Oh, shoot, I smiled again.
Rosalinda, a word?
Our leader is Noel Shempsky?
The man has all the backbone of a paramecium.
What, do you think that is my idea?
Noel and I were the only two who volunteered.
Of course they voted me down.
I'm smarter than he is, more confident, more articulate.
But those stupid little wusses think I'm a hot head.
But, Noel, Roz.
A lot of people's jobs are riding on this, including mine.
-Then you do it. -Me?
-Yes. Please. -No, no, me, no, no,
-I've done enough already. What? -What?
Dr. Crane, I can see that you're concerned about my negotiating skills,
but don't be.
I have a secret weapon.
I can faint at will. Check it out.
Okay, people, there's been a coup. I am now your leader.
-ROZ: Yay! -To the lair of the she-wolf.
Well, what have we here?
We are dissatisfied with the wage freeze, and we demand to speak to you about it.
Don't we?
-Yes! -MAN 1: You better believe it!
All right. But aren't you people still on the clock?
-Yes! -You better believe it!
Well, hi ho the dairy-o. The cheese stands alone.
They're a shrewd group.
They only flex their muscle when they have to.
Well done!
Yeah, yeah. Will you get in here?
I'm kind of surprised to see you here. This really isn't your fight, is it?
I am honored to have been chosen by my colleagues to speak for them.
Oh, that's a shame.
I was kind of looking forward to seeing Shempsky faint.
Well, we have a lot to do, so we may as well just get to it.
Is that a new hairdo? It's very fetching.
Ooh, is that a new tie? It just lights up your pretty face.
But what is it about us? I mean, why all this friction between us?
No, for my own part, your intolerable smugness reminds me of my ex-wife.
But what is the source of your antipathy toward me?
Was there some intimidating male figure in your childhood?
A father, a priest, a department store Santa?
I don't know. I'm just spitballing here.
I have an idea about the source of an antagonism.
Good. Do let me hear it.
I'm a woman. I'm as smart as you. And I'm your boss.
Coincidences all.
Doc, I don't wanna analyze your hang-ups.
I already got a full-time job.
-Let's just get down to business, okay? -Very well.
There's really very little to discuss. These people were promised a raise.
They've fulfilled their end of the bargain. It's time for you to honor yours.
-You have 24 hours. -Or?
We walk. En masse.
Including the on-air talent. I've seen to that myself.
-You have? -Mm-hm.
Why are you gunning for me?
Gunning for you? It's about what you're doing to those people.
-It's the shame of Seattle. -No, no,
this is about your ego which is the size of Seattle.
Every suggestion, every decision I've made has been met by this impenetrable
wall of arrogance masquerading as righteousness.
[SCOFFS]
That's a desperate shot, attacking me because I have a social conscience.
What you have is a fat contract. And so have the rest of your cronies.
When it came time for staff raises, there was no more money left in the till.
Oh, you are twisting things to make it look like it's my fault!
It's true what they say.
The devil comes disguised as a beautiful woman.
There would have been raises
if you hadn't taken all the money to pay for those Armani suits.
Oh, what about you?
Let's not overlook that pricey little Fendi scarf you're wearing.
What about this designer cologne on you?
Well, how about those pouty lips that must have cost you
-a fortune in collagen injections? -These lips are mine, you arrogant gasbag.
-You intractable despot! -Blowhard!
-Tyrant! -Ass!
Shrew!
Get out.
Now.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hey, Niles.
Maris found a gray hair.
Daphne, get Niles a brandy.
It was right at the apex of her widow's peak.
Better bring the bottle.
And she blames me, Dad.
She said it's from the stress I caused her last night
when I thoughtlessly turned on the light while she was getting undressed.
Oh, good evening, Dr. Crane.
Oh, let me take for you.
After all, you are the friend of the working man.
Thank you, Daphne.
Defender of the little people.
All right, Daphne.
Standing up to the boss on behalf of the downtrodden,
selflessly risking your…
Don't you have some meat to boil?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. It's just been a bad day.
I was elected by the employees to present our demands to Kate.
Well, that was a smart move. Did you give her a good tongue lashing?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
Well, I'm proud of you, son.
Oh, don't be, Dad.
I'm a fraud.
I was in her office.
Tempers flared and…
The next thing I knew we were locked in a passionate kiss.
Ooh! Go on.
I'm really not that comfortable talking about this in front of you.
Oh, no need to be shy around me. I'm a professional health care worker.
I've seen it all.
I've helped your father in and out of the bathtub.
Okay, Daphne.
I've seen his bits.
Hey, oh, for God's sake!
-Just tell her, will you? -FRASIER: Oh, all right.
It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
It was just pure sex.
Overwhelming, unexpected, animal-like.
Oh, well, that. We've all experienced that.
Who hasn't? [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
I'm no stranger to that feeling myself.
It can strike without warning. And you don't know who it will be.
Why, you could be standing next to a person month after month,
and then the next thing you know, you're tearing each other's clothes off.
-There's a word for it. -Hope.
Hmm?
FRASIER: Oh, this is madness.
I'm actually lusting after a woman that does nothing but grate on my nerves.
I can't stand her.
Oh, really, Dr. Crane,
can a man want to have sex with a woman he doesn't even like?
-Yeah. -Absolutely.
What about her?
Maybe she's been harboring feelings for me.
Is it possible that she has been lusting after me all along?
Oh, it could be, but, you know, you're in the middle of a negotiation.
Maybe she laid that smackaroo on you just to rattle your brain.
Dad has a point.
Your musk-drenched animal magnetism aside,
it's quite possible she was simply manipulating you.
Well, I hardly think so.
The woman's passion seemed genuine.
Yes, it always does.
Do you suppose it's possible
she's just using sex to sway me to her side?
Well, figure it out. Who made the first move? You or her?
There was no first move.
It was more like spontaneous sexual combustion.
There's always a first move. Think.
All right.
I was standing in front of her desk like so.
She was facing me. Niles, you be Kate.
I will not.
You just stand up.
I'm always the girl. In every prep school play I was the girl.
Guinevere, Marian the Librarian, Ado Annie.
Well, no more. I'm through with it.
When do I get to be Shoeless Joe from Hannibal, Mo?
This is getting me nowhere.
All right, I'll just have to go down there and confront her myself.
Find out if what she was feeling was actually genuine
or she's simply being a conniving femme fatale.
Come on now, Dr. Crane.
It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.
How can we possibly use sex to get what we want?
Sex is what we want!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Kate. -Frasier.
I think we have some issues to discuss.
Me, too. Have a seat.
-I'd prefer to stand. -Me, too.
-Let's talk about the kiss. -Yeah, let's.
All right, why did it happen?
Some possibilities, uh… Frustration, passion, the stress of the situation…
Manipulation.
Manipulation…
That is interesting.
What's interesting is that you focused on manipulation. Why?
Because there's a possibility of manipulation.
So you admit that you were manipulating me?
Me? I'm talking about you.
How dare you think I'd do a thing like that?
Well, it's not unheard of for a woman like you
to use her feminine wiles to get what she wants.
Oh, very clever.
What about you using your masculine wiles to get what you want?
You think my wiles are masculine?
No, I am not going down that road again.
Of course you're not.
Because at the end of that road is a cul-de-sac of vulnerability.
And that's not you, is it? No, you're cement hard.
Cul-de-sac of vulnerability?
All right, listen, you see me for a couple of hours
out of every day and you think you know me?
The "me" me?
All right, I can be tough. Okay, I've gotta be.
I can also be tender.
Spontaneous, shy, lusty, playful…
Kittenish?
I could climb you like a scratching post.
-Damn it! -Damn it!
Stop!
What are we doing?
There are people out there counting on us.
You're absolutely right, we've gotta put personal pleasure aside
until we get this thing resolved.
Absolutely. We owe it to them.
If it takes every minute of every hour of every day
and every ounce of strength we have, we have got to settle this strike.
All right, those people deserve a five percent raise.
I'll give you three.
-Four! -Done.
Hey, any news?
Frasier's hanging tough.
He just keeps pounding that desk and saying, "More, more, more."
Okay.
Good news. She's offered 3 percent.
-We'll take it. We'll take it! Take it! -No, never!
I'm going to get you four. I don't care if I have to stay in there all night!
All right!
Frasier! Frasier! Frasier…
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
Oh, my.
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ They're callin' again ♪
Scrambled eggs all over my face
What is a boy to do?
Good night, Seattle, we love you!