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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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NARRATOR: Previously on Frasier:
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What is going on?
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Oh, our beloved station manager decided
we're not getting our raise this year.
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You intractable despot!
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-Ass!
-Shrew!
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Well, you are in the
middle of a negotiation.
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Maybe she laid that smackeroo
on you just to rattle your brain.
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We have got to settle this strike.
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All right, those people
deserve a 5-percent raise.
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-I'll give you three. Done.
-Four.
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-Frasier!
-Damn. I didn't think you'd be here.
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I would've gone to my regular haunt,
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but the Pig-N-Swig is
closed for remodeling.
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I'm sorry, Niles, it's just
I'm meeting Kate here.
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We want to discuss the dilemma
in which we find ourselves.
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If you're talking about
the kiss you two shared,
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it hardly constitutes a dilemma.
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It's not as if you plunged
into a tawdry office affair.
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-No.
-Then you'd have a real problem.
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-Yes.
-A kiss is nothing.
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-Right.
-You had sex with her, didn't you?
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I didn't mean to. It just happened.
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One minute we were negotiating,
the next minute our inhibitions
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were shattered, along with my
kneecap and her Macintosh Powerbook.
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This happened in her office?
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-Yes.
-What are you saying?
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Her couch folds out?
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We used her desk.
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Her desk folds out?
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There she is.
Look, just make an excuse and go.
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Oh, all right, okay. Ms. Costas.
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-Dr. Crane.
-Oh, look at the time.
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I, uh, have a session with
my multiple personality.
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Not to worry, if I'm late, he
can just talk amongst himself.
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So, good morning.
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Good morning.
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How's your kneecap?
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Uh, well, it's better, thanks.
And your laptop?
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I refer to your computer.
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A little dented, but fine.
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The computer.
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Anyway, what I wanted
to tell you was that, um…
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Well, last night was one of the
greatest nights of lovemaking
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I've had since… Roz.
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Tell me she just walked in.
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Well, hi.
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Guess you guys kissed and made up, huh?
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[CHUCKLES]
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Well, in a manner of speaking. Yes.
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We were just discussing the step system
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in the new health care
plan's copayment ceiling.
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Well, it wouldn't interest you.
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Oh, the hell it wouldn't!
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You know, they're too
cheap to pay for a butt lift.
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I sit on this thing all day long.
That's work-related.
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Listen, I really have to go, but I
would like to discuss this matter
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at the first possible opportunity.
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So would I.
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Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot.
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I need you two to fill in
the 8:00-to-10:00 slot tonight.
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Floyd, the Happy Chef, is in rehab again.
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Oh, great.
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I'm supposed to have dinner with
a successful, handsome doctor.
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She thinks we're all as
happy to work all night
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-as she is.
-Mm-hm.
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You're a psychiatrist, Frasier.
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She's a cold, repressed workaholic
who has no sex life whatsoever.
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Can't you help her?
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I've tried, Roz.
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Why do we bother
having a service elevator?
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I just rode up 19 floors
with two sweaty moving men
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munching on chili dogs
which they proceeded to drip
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onto my suede shoes.
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How will I ever get that stain out?
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Ah, yes, dog saliva.
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Nature's miracle solvent.
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So, who's moving out anyway?
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Dierdre Sauvage.
The one who writes the romance novels.
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Oh, yeah, the lost Gabor
sister is finally outta here.
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She's a very sweet person,
and I'm going to miss her.
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Yeah, well, you're not the one she's
always undressing with her eyes.
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She lured me into her apartment
one time, supposedly to fix a lamp.
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Next thing I know, I
got a drink in my hand
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and she's reading me a dirty
poem about meadowlarks.
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Well, I must admit, she's
never done that to me.
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Yeah, well, if she does, don't fake
a Charley horse to get out of there.
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She'll just try to rub it.
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Speaking of romance, Dr. Crane,
when I washed your shirt this morning,
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I couldn't help noticing
lipstick in the oddest places.
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I take it negotiations
went well last night.
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-I'd rather not discuss it, thank you.
-Why, is there a problem?
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Things between me and Kate just
went a little faster than I intended.
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I'll say.
There were also four buttons missing
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and teeth marks in the shoulders.
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Thank you, Inspector Moon.
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Things got a little out of hand.
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I think we should slow down a
bit, but I'm afraid to tell her for fear
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of hurting her feelings.
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How about a woman's perspective?
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Let's just say for argument's
sake that you and I succumbed to
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a night of passion.
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[CHUCKLES]
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What, you and me?
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Yes.
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What, bosoms heaving, shirt
buttons catapulting through the air?
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It's a hypothetical question.
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I'll say it is.
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Oh, all right. Somebody else, all right?
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So you have a mad
tryst with this young man,
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and then the next day he says that
he thinks things are going too fast.
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He'd like to slow down.
What would you say?
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I suppose I'd say,
"Thanks for being honest.
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"You're probably right.
We were moving fast."
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"Not that it was too
fast for you last night."
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"Oh, no, we were right on
schedule then, weren't we?"
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"But now you've had your fun,"
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"though not too much apparently,
and you want to be my friend."
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Well, you can just sod
off, Trevor Mulgrew."
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I think I might have
some buttons for this shirt.
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You see, Dad?
The whole thing's a minefield.
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Agh. You'll never learn, will you?
Handling a woman's easy.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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You know, you kill me. Mr. Psychiatrist.
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You always gotta make
everything so complicated.
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A woman comes on too strong,
you just tell her to cool her engines.
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-It's the easiest thing in the world.
-Oh, Dierdre,
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-I understand you're leaving us.
-DIERDRE: Alas, yes.
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-Oh, do come in.
-Thank you.
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Oh, hello, Martin.
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You've been so kind to me, I
wanted to give you my new address.
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Oh, great, I'd hate to lose touch.
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I also wanted to bring
you a farewell gift,
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my latest novel, Foolish Escapade.
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It's the long-awaited sequel
to The Rose and the Rapier.
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Swell.
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I was, uh, thinking of you when I
created the character of Lorenzo,
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the lovesick gondolier.
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MARTIN: How about that?
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But, hey, where are my manners?
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Let me show you out.
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Oh, by the way, the lock
on my suitcase is jammed.
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I was, um, hoping that
you'd come and tinker with it.
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Oh, gee, you know, I'd love to, Dierdre,
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but I promised Frasier I'd
do something with him tonight.
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Oh, Dad, didn't I mention it?
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I'm filling in for the
Happy Chef tonight, so…
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You're all hers.
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Oh, marvelous.
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Good night, Lorenzo.
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FRASIER: Hello, Polly, how can I help you?
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POLLY: Oh, I'm so glad I got through.
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I'm sitting here not knowing what to do.
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I find myself lacking a certain spice.
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Well, Polly, if you wanna
shake up your routine,
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why don't you, uh, try something
new and dangerous? Uh…
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Sky diving, belly dancing perhaps.
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That oughta add some spice.
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What are you talking about?
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I'm making an apple tart,
and I'm out of cinnamon.
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I see.
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Listeners, for the fourth time this
hour, I am not the Happy Chef.
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I am the irritated
psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane.
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We'll be right back after the news.
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And while we're on the subject of tarts…
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-I'm really sorry about that call.
-No, it's all right, Roz.
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Why don't you run along for your date?
I can handle the last 10 minutes here.
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-Are you sure?
-Sure.
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I feel terrible leaving you
here alone in the lurch.
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We are a team, Frasier.
You just say the word and I'll stay. Hey!
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Hold that elevator.
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-Got a minute?
-Oh, yes,
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look, I'm glad you're still here.
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-Listen.
-No, me first this time.
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-Okay.
-Ahem.
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I really think that we
should slow things down.
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Oh, I am so glad you said that.
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I wanted to say the same thing, but I
was afraid you'd feel I was rejecting you.
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Oh, how sensitive.
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And yet, at the same
time, how full of yourself.
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You are one tough nut, lady.
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Well, this definitely shows
we're doing the right thing.
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Agreed. Agreed, and, frankly,
now that we've got that settled,
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do you mind if I ask you a question?
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-Yeah.
-What the hell was that?
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I have no idea!
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Ever since I've gotten
here, you have done nothing
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but irritate me like a
persistent skin rash.
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And you me.
And last night was no different.
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You just kept talking
and talking and talking.
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I guess that mouth of yours just ticked
me off so much, I just had to have it.
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The whole thing, it's
just, it's so primitive.
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Yeah, yeah, animal.
We were just functioning on instinct.
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It's fascinating, really.
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Oh, oh, let's not dismiss
the element of danger.
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All those people outside that
could've walked in any moment.
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That crossed my mind.
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For once in my cautious, buttoned-down
life, I felt like a real bad boy.
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I felt like a dirty girl.
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-What did you just call yourself?
-I said dirty girl…
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You bad boy.
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You dirty girl.
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You bad boy.
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Dirty girl.
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Bad boy.
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Dirty girl.
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How much time do we have left on the news?
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Three minutes. But that's all right.
I can play lots of extra commercials.
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REPORTER: In local news,
Congressman Robert Gill
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was accused of accepting bribes
from a waste treatment facility.
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-Asked to comment, the congressman said…
-FRASIER: Yes. Yes.
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I am a bad boy, aren't I? You dirty girl…
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Come to your bad boy.
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Oh, yes. Oh, no.
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-Is that the on-air light?
-KATE: Stop talking.
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FRASIER: You must've hit
the switch with your elbow…
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00:11:29,407 --> 00:11:32,201
-KATE: Stop talking.
-FRASIER: Let's try and get dressed…
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Stop talking!
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[TIRES SCREECH]
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Okay, Fabio…
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I want two things.
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One, you will never make
another crack about my sex life.
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I don't care if I start
dating a lumber camp.
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-Done.
-And two…
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Who's dirty girl?
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I can't tell you that.
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Oh, come on, Frasier.
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I swear, I won't tell a soul.
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[PHONE RINGS]
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Yes? Not yet, I'll call you back.
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Doc, I got one thing to say to you.
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Go ahead, take your best shot.
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I am so proud of you, man.
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Well, doesn't that just put
the cherry on the parfait?
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Now, come on, you gotta tell
me, who's the mystery chick?
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Haven't you already seen,
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I've told a half a dozen reporters
that I'm not going to name names.
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-Yeah…
-Don't you see this right here?
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" 'I Won't Fink,' Says Kinky Shrink."
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Good afternoon, Dr. Crane.
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00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,959
-Ms. Costas.
-Hey, hey, you're the boss.
242
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:01,793
Make him tell who his playmate was.
243
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:04,965
This is really none of your business.
244
00:13:05,049 --> 00:13:08,511
Oh, but we got a pool going.
So far, the hot money's on Roz.
245
00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:09,929
What?
246
00:13:10,013 --> 00:13:12,973
Oh, well, thank you, but I think I
have a little more self-respect than
247
00:13:13,057 --> 00:13:15,560
to have a quickie with
a co-worker on the air.
248
00:13:19,147 --> 00:13:20,997
What kind of slut do they think I am?
249
00:13:22,609 --> 00:13:25,153
Dr. Crane, could I have a
word with you in private?
250
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:28,365
Uh, I'd love that, but I've…
I've got my show in two minutes.
251
00:13:28,449 --> 00:13:30,534
-Actually, you don't.
-What?
252
00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:33,578
I'm suspending you for a week.
Bulldog, you're going on.
253
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:35,664
Roz, you'll have to produce.
254
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:36,749
All right.
255
00:13:41,212 --> 00:13:45,757
I must say I find that a bit
harsh, all things considered.
256
00:13:45,841 --> 00:13:48,010
Yes, I can see how
you might feel that way,
257
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,221
but the station does
have certain standards,
258
00:13:50,305 --> 00:13:52,056
and it is my job to enforce them.
259
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:53,516
Now, if you will excuse me,
260
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,935
I have to meet with one
of last night's sponsors,
261
00:13:56,019 --> 00:13:58,104
the Wholesome Family Cookie Company.
262
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:07,949
Hey, turn those lights out.
263
00:14:09,575 --> 00:14:12,203
-Why?
-Dierdre hasn't finished moving yet.
264
00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:16,957
If she sees a light, she'll know I'm home.
265
00:14:17,041 --> 00:14:19,241
You can see our living
room from her bedroom.
266
00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:20,461
Her bedroom?
267
00:14:20,545 --> 00:14:22,495
She had me cornered in there yesterday.
268
00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:26,164
I don't mind telling you, I haven't
been that scared since Korea.
269
00:14:29,638 --> 00:14:33,057
Don't worry, Dad. I have no intentions
of letting anyone in here tonight.
270
00:14:33,141 --> 00:14:36,978
There's a damn tabloid
news crew down in the lobby.
271
00:14:37,062 --> 00:14:39,862
I had to go in the back way
and use the service elevator.
272
00:14:40,399 --> 00:14:43,099
I tuned in to your show tonight.
Why weren't you on it?
273
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,405
If you must know, I've
been suspended for a week.
274
00:14:47,489 --> 00:14:48,532
Oh, no.
275
00:14:49,408 --> 00:14:52,958
I spent the last three hours at the
observation deck at the Space Needle
276
00:14:53,288 --> 00:14:55,873
looking down on a city
that's looking down on me.
277
00:14:58,459 --> 00:15:00,419
-Hello, Dr. Crane.
-Daphne.
278
00:15:00,503 --> 00:15:01,629
[DOORBELL RINGS]
279
00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:04,965
-I'm not here.
-Yes, your father's not here either.
280
00:15:05,049 --> 00:15:07,468
It's so nice having the
whole house to myself.
281
00:15:11,639 --> 00:15:13,350
-Daphne.
-Oh, how lovely.
282
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,034
Now the whole family's not here.
283
00:15:18,063 --> 00:15:21,013
I listened to your program as
I was driving home last night.
284
00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:25,070
Here's a bill to replace the front wheel
of my Mercedes and a second to replace
285
00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,754
the back bumper of some
wretched little domestic car.
286
00:15:29,783 --> 00:15:32,244
Go easy on your brother, Niles.
He's had a rough day.
287
00:15:32,328 --> 00:15:33,621
You're right, Dad.
288
00:15:33,705 --> 00:15:36,332
Frasier, please, accept my apologies.
289
00:15:36,416 --> 00:15:39,377
I can imagine how trying
this must have been for you.
290
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:40,462
Thanks, Niles.
291
00:15:40,962 --> 00:15:44,262
Of course, it's been no picnic for
those of us who share your name.
292
00:15:47,385 --> 00:15:49,220
My Maris took it particularly hard.
293
00:15:50,138 --> 00:15:51,556
When I left this morning,
294
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,440
she was ordering new stationery with
an accent ague over the "E" in our name.
295
00:15:57,146 --> 00:16:00,691
Hereafter, her memos will read,
"From the Desk of Maris Crané."
296
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:03,903
[DOORBELL RINGS]
297
00:16:07,948 --> 00:16:09,866
-Who is it?
-KATE: Kate Costas.
298
00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:11,285
Wait. Wait.
299
00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:14,497
All right, all of you, you
know nothing about last night.
300
00:16:16,248 --> 00:16:17,751
-Hello. Come in.
-Hello.
301
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:21,045
Hello, Kate. You know Niles, of course.
302
00:16:21,129 --> 00:16:23,089
-This is my father, Martin…
-Hello.
303
00:16:23,173 --> 00:16:24,924
-Hi.
-And, uh, his healthcare worker Daphne.
304
00:16:25,008 --> 00:16:27,260
-Kate Costas.
-Nice to meet you.
305
00:16:27,344 --> 00:16:29,137
I'm sorry if I'm coming at a bad time.
306
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:32,056
Oh, no, no, we were just
taking Eddie for a walk.
307
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:34,935
-Eddie.
-I have to be running along, too.
308
00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:37,520
Oh, what's on your chin?
309
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:39,440
Have you been in the garbage again?
310
00:16:39,524 --> 00:16:40,858
You bad boy.
311
00:16:53,871 --> 00:16:55,832
So, nice place.
312
00:16:56,999 --> 00:17:00,087
-Oh, what a view.
-Yes.
313
00:17:01,422 --> 00:17:03,507
I'll be enjoying it during my suspension.
314
00:17:04,508 --> 00:17:08,137
Well, I guess that concludes the
small talk portion of our evening.
315
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:12,265
Look, it must be obvious
I've come here to apologize.
316
00:17:12,349 --> 00:17:14,226
Oh, really? For what?
317
00:17:15,018 --> 00:17:17,718
Turning on me when I went
out of my way to protect you?
318
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:19,648
We're both responsible for this.
319
00:17:19,732 --> 00:17:22,443
I end up looking like an idiot, and
you look like a no-nonsense boss.
320
00:17:22,527 --> 00:17:24,737
Just tell me what I can
do to make this right.
321
00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:27,281
Nothing! There's nothing you can do,
322
00:17:27,365 --> 00:17:29,325
there's nothing you
can say to make this up.
323
00:17:29,409 --> 00:17:31,577
The owners wanted you fired.
324
00:17:31,661 --> 00:17:32,871
That's pretty good.
325
00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:37,041
Look, there's no way
we can rewrite the past.
326
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:39,669
It happened. We did it. It's on tape.
327
00:17:41,004 --> 00:17:42,422
But we can do this.
328
00:17:42,506 --> 00:17:44,549
We can prevent it from
ever happening again.
329
00:17:44,633 --> 00:17:45,634
Agreed.
330
00:17:46,427 --> 00:17:49,805
Obviously there's… There's some
kind of incredible attraction between us,
331
00:17:49,889 --> 00:17:52,339
the trick will be simply
to avoid the opportunity.
332
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:55,186
We're strong. We're intelligent.
333
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:59,472
And we're alone in this apartment.
334
00:18:00,024 --> 00:18:01,609
-I'll get my bag.
-Yes.
335
00:18:03,653 --> 00:18:06,531
Oh, Kate, Kate, that news
crew is probably still in the lobby.
336
00:18:06,615 --> 00:18:08,908
-Right.
-Let me walk you to the service elevator
337
00:18:08,992 --> 00:18:09,993
and see you out.
338
00:18:12,537 --> 00:18:14,622
-Going down?
-No, you guys go ahead.
339
00:18:14,706 --> 00:18:16,041
Just send it back up.
340
00:18:20,962 --> 00:18:23,339
Yes, well, I'm sure if we really try,
341
00:18:23,423 --> 00:18:25,426
we can keep things on
a professional footing.
342
00:18:25,510 --> 00:18:27,219
Hey, we're two mature adults.
343
00:18:27,303 --> 00:18:30,515
We just have to avoid
all undue temptation.
344
00:18:34,644 --> 00:18:36,644
-What's going on?
-KATE: I don't know.
345
00:18:36,979 --> 00:18:39,529
-Hello?
-FRASIER: Well, let's get a little light.
346
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:43,569
KATE: Hello? Hello?
347
00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:45,571
Can anybody hear me?
348
00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:48,075
-MAN: Hello?
-KATE: Yeah, what's going on?
349
00:18:48,784 --> 00:18:51,786
MAN: Looks like you're stuck.
Same thing happened this morning.
350
00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:53,872
Took about a half an hour to fix.
351
00:18:53,956 --> 00:18:55,790
You two guys gonna be okay?
352
00:18:55,874 --> 00:18:59,378
Yeah, yeah, we're fine.
We're adults. We're mature adults.
353
00:19:01,421 --> 00:19:02,381
Ow.
354
00:19:19,065 --> 00:19:20,816
It's getting sorta hot in here, isn't it?
355
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,860
Yeah, it's a bit, it's a bit hot.
356
00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:26,394
-You don't mind if I take off my jacket?
-Makes no difference to me.
357
00:19:31,829 --> 00:19:35,081
Well, looks like we're gonna
be here for a little while.
358
00:19:35,165 --> 00:19:37,515
Might as well try to make
ourselves comfortable.
359
00:19:39,336 --> 00:19:40,671
Maybe there's some chairs.
360
00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:45,718
Ah! Here we are.
I'll just have to move this down a bit.
361
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,846
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
362
00:19:51,099 --> 00:19:52,517
What's that?
363
00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:55,979
I must've knocked open a
music box in here somewhere.
364
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,691
I'm not really in the mood for music.
Could you stop that?
365
00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:01,818
Yes, yes, I'll try.
366
00:20:04,362 --> 00:20:06,072
God, it is hot in here.
367
00:20:06,156 --> 00:20:07,324
[GLASS SHATTERS]
368
00:20:08,617 --> 00:20:10,326
-What's that smell?
-I seem to have broken
369
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,744
a bottle of something.
370
00:20:11,828 --> 00:20:13,456
[SNIFFING]
371
00:20:14,707 --> 00:20:15,875
Musk oil.
372
00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:20,296
Oh, now where is that damn music box?
373
00:20:22,548 --> 00:20:23,465
Here it is!
374
00:20:23,549 --> 00:20:24,883
[MUSIC STOPS]
375
00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:26,885
I think it would be a very good thing
376
00:20:26,969 --> 00:20:29,219
if you just did something
about that musk oil.
377
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,808
Yes, all right, uh, how about…
Ooh, I know,
378
00:20:32,892 --> 00:20:35,942
hand me that drop cloth there
and maybe I can just smother it.
379
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:43,111
Who lives in this building?
380
00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:49,075
You know, I think we can just
forgo the musk oil right now.
381
00:20:49,159 --> 00:20:50,827
Why don't you cover that back up?
382
00:20:50,911 --> 00:20:53,371
No, I'm not gonna touch this thing again.
383
00:20:53,455 --> 00:20:54,873
Look at me. I'm all dirty.
384
00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:02,548
Oh, stop! Stop, stop.
385
00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:04,634
You're right.
386
00:21:12,892 --> 00:21:18,732
We have gazed into the gaping
maw of temptation and survived.
387
00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:22,820
My God, I'm proud of us.
388
00:21:23,487 --> 00:21:24,905
I am, too. Good.
389
00:21:29,451 --> 00:21:32,871
Of course the cable could break.
390
00:21:34,248 --> 00:21:36,709
And we'd be kicking
ourselves all the way down.
391
00:21:37,334 --> 00:21:38,503
You are so right.
392
00:21:47,470 --> 00:21:48,471
Good God!
393
00:21:55,311 --> 00:21:56,271
Wait, that's it.
394
00:22:02,111 --> 00:22:03,612
Good night, Dr. Crane.
395
00:22:03,696 --> 00:22:04,572
Ms. Costas.
396
00:22:14,707 --> 00:22:17,294
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
397
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,628
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
398
00:22:20,463 --> 00:22:21,631
Oh, my.
399
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,925
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
400
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,594
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
401
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,805
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
402
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,390
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
403
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:34,269
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
404
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,397
♪ They're callin' again ♪
405
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,649
Good night, Seattle, we love you!