1 00:00:02,340 --> 00:00:04,342 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,806 --> 00:00:12,851 This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780. 3 00:00:13,894 --> 00:00:16,479 Frasier, that was Security. Some woman insisted on seeing you. 4 00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:18,314 She just blew right past them. 5 00:00:18,398 --> 00:00:21,610 Oh, don't panic, Roz. Probably just one of my more ardent fans. 6 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,366 [SCREAMING] 7 00:00:32,370 --> 00:00:35,206 -Niles, we've gotta talk. It's urgent. -Frasier, I'm with a patient. 8 00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:38,794 -I'm sorry. Yes. -Is this about a woman? 9 00:00:39,628 --> 00:00:41,546 Take all the time you need. 10 00:00:44,049 --> 00:00:45,383 -[DOOR CLOSES] -Well… 11 00:00:46,134 --> 00:00:46,968 She's back. 12 00:00:48,303 --> 00:00:49,805 The scourge of my existence. 13 00:00:51,848 --> 00:00:54,308 You usually get some sign when Lilith is in town. 14 00:00:54,392 --> 00:00:57,145 Dogs forming into packs, blood weeping down the walls… 15 00:01:00,023 --> 00:01:01,024 I'm talking about… 16 00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:04,736 Diane Chambers. 17 00:01:05,361 --> 00:01:06,821 Lucille, send Mr. Carr home. 18 00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,785 She just showed up at the station today. 19 00:01:13,869 --> 00:01:17,581 Apparently some play she wrote is being produced here in town. 20 00:01:17,665 --> 00:01:20,751 I admit I just sort of panicked when I saw her, 21 00:01:20,835 --> 00:01:22,795 but I think I covered it masterfully. 22 00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:26,173 All right. Well, why do you think you reacted that way? 23 00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:28,759 Oh, spare me the psychiatrist bit, Niles. 24 00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:30,719 That includes putting down the pad. 25 00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:34,849 In the drawer, Niles. 26 00:01:37,726 --> 00:01:38,811 Fine. 27 00:01:39,311 --> 00:01:42,105 My first question to you is this: Are you still in love with her? 28 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,859 No! Not in the least. It's a ridiculous suggestion. 29 00:01:45,234 --> 00:01:49,184 Seeing as how I have nowhere to write the phrase "classic denial," I'll move on. 30 00:01:51,866 --> 00:01:56,161 So about this woman for whom you have so little feeling 31 00:01:56,245 --> 00:01:59,245 that you raced across town and burst into one of my sessions. 32 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,607 -Is there any lingering resentment? -Over what? 33 00:02:05,462 --> 00:02:08,674 Well, she did leave you at the altar. 34 00:02:09,258 --> 00:02:13,058 When you told her how that made you feel, was there anything you left unsaid? 35 00:02:15,097 --> 00:02:18,267 Any phrase or feeling you wish you had expressed to her? 36 00:02:21,186 --> 00:02:24,436 I'm making the assumption here that you did tell her how you felt. 37 00:02:25,441 --> 00:02:26,275 I sort of did. 38 00:02:28,611 --> 00:02:32,448 "Sort of" is another one of those phrases that just wants to go in my pad. 39 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:39,079 I expressed my distaste for the way I'd been treated, yes. 40 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:42,916 She rejected you in the most debilitating way a man can be rejected. 41 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,418 You've got to more than "sort of" tell her how that felt. 42 00:02:45,502 --> 00:02:47,838 I just can't tell Diane how awful she made me feel now. 43 00:02:47,922 --> 00:02:50,924 It's a distant memory for her. I'd feel weak. 44 00:02:51,008 --> 00:02:54,094 You have no reason to feel weak. You've moved on in your life too. 45 00:02:54,178 --> 00:02:57,013 You have a new career, new wealth, new success. 46 00:02:57,097 --> 00:02:59,683 You simply need closure in this one area. 47 00:03:01,101 --> 00:03:02,936 What you said made a lot of sense. 48 00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:06,370 -You're going to get closure? -No, that business about my success. 49 00:03:06,857 --> 00:03:08,317 I tuned you out after that. 50 00:03:10,152 --> 00:03:12,112 I'm gonna invite Diane over for dinner tonight. 51 00:03:12,196 --> 00:03:15,365 I'm really gonna flaunt my success, really rub her nose in it. 52 00:03:16,783 --> 00:03:20,333 That ought to prove that I'm not some cast-aside who never got over her. 53 00:03:21,245 --> 00:03:23,539 Niles, I know, it's not psychologically sound. 54 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,833 But we're still human. 55 00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,295 We have to do what feels good sometimes, don't we? 56 00:03:31,714 --> 00:03:33,966 I'd like to be on the record as saying I'm against it. 57 00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:35,926 -Fine. -You know the path that leads 58 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:38,137 to peace with Diane and you're rejecting it. 59 00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:39,847 I'm washing my hands of the entire matter. 60 00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:41,599 Wouldn't miss it for the world, though. 61 00:03:41,683 --> 00:03:43,783 I'll be there at 7 with a cheeky Bordeaux. 62 00:03:53,111 --> 00:03:55,696 No, no, no, Daphne, I was very specific about this. 63 00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:58,073 The mayor's plaque goes on the piano, the Otis Klandenning 64 00:03:58,157 --> 00:04:01,160 Man of the Year Award goes right over here. 65 00:04:02,662 --> 00:04:07,083 And my jewel, my SeaBee, goes right here where she can't miss it. 66 00:04:07,542 --> 00:04:09,752 Hmm. That seems a bit subtle. 67 00:04:09,836 --> 00:04:12,630 Why don't I just use this to serve the olives? 68 00:04:12,714 --> 00:04:14,007 Oh, give me that. 69 00:04:17,510 --> 00:04:19,887 I wish someone would just tell me who this woman is 70 00:04:19,971 --> 00:04:21,764 and why we're trying to impress the pants off her. 71 00:04:21,848 --> 00:04:22,765 [DOORBELL RINGS] 72 00:04:22,849 --> 00:04:27,061 She's a one-time Boston barmaid who had a nervous breakdown 73 00:04:27,145 --> 00:04:29,021 and ended up in a sanatorium where I met her, 74 00:04:29,105 --> 00:04:32,400 fell for her, and then was so mercilessly rejected by her 75 00:04:32,984 --> 00:04:37,071 that, to this day, there is a sucking chest wound… 76 00:04:38,948 --> 00:04:40,783 Where once there dwelled a heart! 77 00:04:42,243 --> 00:04:43,077 Diane! 78 00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:48,833 -Hello, Frasier. -Please. 79 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,543 You remember my brother, Niles, my father, Martin? 80 00:04:51,627 --> 00:04:53,754 And this is his health care worker, Daphne Moon. 81 00:04:53,838 --> 00:04:55,506 -Hello, Diane. -DIANE: How nice to see you. 82 00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,341 What a tasteful abode. 83 00:04:57,425 --> 00:04:59,510 Oh, yeah, but it's modest in its way. 84 00:04:59,969 --> 00:05:01,428 Oh, that's what I like about it. 85 00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:03,973 After the rambling beach house I've been living in, 86 00:05:04,057 --> 00:05:06,207 I'm ready for something smart and efficient. 87 00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,438 White wine, Diane? 88 00:05:11,522 --> 00:05:15,609 I'm pouring an '85 Le Montrachet Le Guiche I purchased at auction. 89 00:05:15,693 --> 00:05:18,321 Oh, I always keep a bottle of that open myself. 90 00:05:21,115 --> 00:05:22,325 Hang this up. 91 00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:27,370 Well, Martin, it's been too long. 92 00:05:27,454 --> 00:05:28,830 How have you been? 93 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:31,165 Well, my wife died, I got shot in the hip, 94 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:34,999 and I had to move in with Frasier because I kept falling down in the shower. 95 00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:40,050 Well, you look wonderful. 96 00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:42,677 Yes, you do. 97 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:44,846 That's the bad one. 98 00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:53,230 Niles, do you remember the last time I was in town when we dined together? 99 00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:55,940 You had just started dating this woman. 100 00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,374 She was the queerest little creature. Thank you. 101 00:06:00,654 --> 00:06:02,697 She ate everyone's sorbet, 102 00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:05,324 and then she had to lie down in the ladies' lounge 103 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,994 while the coat check girl massaged her abdomen. [CACKLES] 104 00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:16,794 Oh, I hope I haven't put my foot in it. 105 00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:19,505 You and she didn't get married and live happily ever after? 106 00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:21,133 No, can't say as we did. 107 00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:27,096 -Care for an olive? -Oh, thank you. 108 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,932 These are a Pyrenean taste treat. 109 00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:32,185 They're hand-picked and bottled by Andalusian monks. 110 00:06:32,269 --> 00:06:34,119 -Mm. -You can spit the pits in here. 111 00:06:44,239 --> 00:06:48,160 So there I was on the balcony of my Malibu beach house 112 00:06:48,702 --> 00:06:50,912 when a pod of whales passed by. 113 00:06:51,663 --> 00:06:55,124 I knew I had to commune with these gentle giants, 114 00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:59,879 so like a flash I was on the beach scrambling to my kayak. 115 00:06:59,963 --> 00:07:05,384 But cruel fortune interceded when not 20 yards offshore, 116 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:09,264 I suddenly discovered myself entangled in an enormous bed of, um… 117 00:07:09,848 --> 00:07:12,141 -Sea kelp. -Exactly right. Sea kelp. 118 00:07:12,225 --> 00:07:14,895 Oh, that's funny. I thought he said "seek help." 119 00:07:23,695 --> 00:07:26,445 So you haven't told us how you've come to be in Seattle. 120 00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:30,618 Oh, a small theater group has decided to produce a play I've written. 121 00:07:30,702 --> 00:07:32,536 -Which one? -Oh, my most recent work. 122 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,790 It's a sort of feminist odyssey, experimental in places, 123 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:40,210 in tone akin to Saroyan, with a soupcon of Gide, 124 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,379 and a hearty nod to Clifford Odets. 125 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,590 I meant which theater? 126 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:49,344 Oh. The Roundabout. 127 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,596 That seems appropriate. 128 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:58,270 You know, why don't you people just keep talking amongst yourselves. 129 00:07:58,354 --> 00:07:59,729 I'll go and fetch the profiteroles. 130 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,859 They were prepared by the hottest new pastry chef in… Oh, what's the use? 131 00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:08,948 I'll help. He always over-powders. 132 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,784 I'm sure old man Kennedy felt this kind of pride 133 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,412 when his boys would go out and play touch football. 134 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,373 You know her better than I. 135 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,625 Is that what she looks like when she's writhing in envy? 136 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:21,543 Oh, shut up. 137 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:25,923 I admit you were right. 138 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,365 Before she leaves here tonight, I am going to tell her 139 00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:31,220 how much pain she made me feel. 140 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,307 The savage truth this time. There will be no sugar-coating it. 141 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,768 Yes, I am aware of the irony. 142 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,024 It must be wonderful to see your words come to life like that. 143 00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:46,485 Oh, yes, it's a dream come true. 144 00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:51,114 Diane, are you okay? 145 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,782 Yes, I'm fine. Why? 146 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,869 Well, your cheek was kind of twitching. 147 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:56,912 It was? 148 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,207 Oh, well, it was probably fatigue. Where were we? 149 00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:02,835 -Oh, I was asking about your play. -Oh, right. 150 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,160 There it goes again! You twitched! 151 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,634 That was either a very large twitch or a very small seizure. 152 00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:14,512 You know, I… I'm not sure 153 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,683 how much I really want to talk about my play right now. 154 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,940 Bad luck and all that. 155 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:31,363 And we all know what a struggle it is to get Diane to talk about herself. 156 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:32,656 [DIANE LAUGHING] 157 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,908 Oh, Frasier, you always could kid. 158 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:37,286 How I miss that. 159 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:39,913 [SOBBING] 160 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,215 Look, Diane, please, I really didn't mean anything by it. 161 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,801 -I'm sorry. -It's not that. 162 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,887 It's my whole life. It's ruined. 163 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,223 Niles, could you please get her some water? 164 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,433 Of course, of course. 165 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:04,562 Oh, everything I told you tonight is a lie. 166 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,940 I'm sorry for this. 167 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,944 Oh, I must look just awful. 168 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,780 Your cheek stopped jumping. 169 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,747 All right, tell me what happened. Was it about your play? 170 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:24,916 There it goes again. 171 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,837 Look, would you people please give us some privacy? 172 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:39,013 All right now, from the beginning. 173 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:46,395 Well, it all started a few months ago when I lost my job. 174 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,565 I'd been writing for Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. 175 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,653 I was on the set one day, and I was trying to show Jane Seymour 176 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,657 the proper way to cauterize a wound with a branding iron… 177 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,869 And I accidentally set her hair on fire. 178 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,835 Well, from there it was a steady slide downhill. 179 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,296 Two-year relationship ended, 180 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,841 I lost the beach house, friends stopped calling, 181 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,429 the one bright spot was my play in Seattle. 182 00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,098 Well, I flew up here yesterday 183 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,726 only to find that the backer was pulling out. 184 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,062 I was so distraught, 185 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:31,274 I found myself wandering around the city in complete despair. 186 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:37,071 It's then that like a ray of hope from heaven 187 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:40,658 I saw your smiling face on the side of a bus. 188 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,330 And that's why I'm here today. 189 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,709 You helped me the only other time I was this low. 190 00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:53,879 Frasier, I'm asking for your help again. 191 00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,592 Of course I'll help you, Diane. 192 00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:00,719 Oh, Frasier. 193 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,305 Well, that was a bit scary. 194 00:12:04,389 --> 00:12:07,350 I'll say, watching someone go completely crackers like that. 195 00:12:09,227 --> 00:12:11,396 -What's the matter with you now? -Nothing, I'm fine. 196 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,107 Just suddenly missing my Maris. 197 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,158 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 198 00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:27,161 My God, Niles, 199 00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:29,580 it's such a glorious day. I walked all the way here. 200 00:12:29,664 --> 00:12:32,125 Thirty-two blocks, Bruno Magli's be damned. 201 00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:37,130 Go ahead, I see "the look." I know exactly what it means too. 202 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,841 How could I very well say no to Diane? She came to me in crisis. 203 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,843 Oh, excuse me. A double cappuccino, please. 204 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,261 Light cinnamon. Thank you. 205 00:12:44,304 --> 00:12:48,600 Ah. Oh, you know, the change in Diane has really been quite gratifying. 206 00:12:49,184 --> 00:12:51,227 I dropped her off at the theater today, 207 00:12:51,311 --> 00:12:54,147 and there was a smile on her face that I hadn't seen in, 208 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:58,901 well, far too many years. Oh, I know what you're thinking. 209 00:12:58,985 --> 00:13:02,285 Where'd she get the money to do the play? Well, she found a backer. 210 00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:04,658 It's tax-deductible! 211 00:13:06,993 --> 00:13:08,161 Thank you. 212 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,581 Oh, why don't you just go ahead and say what you're thinking, Niles? 213 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,459 That I'm falling for her again. "Well, you did bounce in here as though 214 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,669 you were on top of the world and babbling about her smile." 215 00:13:16,753 --> 00:13:18,880 I just don't want to hear it, Niles! 216 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,965 I'm simply helping her to get back on her feet 217 00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:22,842 and out of my life as quickly as possible. 218 00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:25,178 No, I don't know how long it's going to take. 219 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,098 Well, I said I don't know! Really, Niles, curse you! 220 00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:32,435 You are the most infuriating busybody. I'm not sitting with you. 221 00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:45,073 DIANE: It really is a lovely city. 222 00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:50,412 "Night making all things dimly beautiful." 223 00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:53,789 "One veil over us both." 224 00:13:53,873 --> 00:13:55,125 -Cyrano? -Yes. 225 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,059 Eleven years later we're still on the same page. 226 00:13:58,962 --> 00:14:02,506 Frasier, these past few weeks you've given so much of yourself to me. 227 00:14:03,132 --> 00:14:06,468 I want to give the one gift I have to bestow. 228 00:14:07,136 --> 00:14:09,471 I want you to be the first person to see my play. 229 00:14:09,555 --> 00:14:11,348 Will you come to dress rehearsal tonight? 230 00:14:11,432 --> 00:14:12,516 Diane, I'd be honored. 231 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,852 Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. Give me a second. 232 00:14:15,936 --> 00:14:18,480 You know, you sure you're ready for this? 233 00:14:18,564 --> 00:14:23,235 Oh, yes, it's time. Tonight I bare myself to you. 234 00:14:26,697 --> 00:14:28,073 It's a big step, Diane. 235 00:14:28,157 --> 00:14:32,327 Oh, well, I have to say I'm a little nervous about it, 236 00:14:32,411 --> 00:14:34,412 but barring any lighting or prop problems, 237 00:14:34,496 --> 00:14:36,498 the whole thing'll be over in a couple of hours. 238 00:14:36,582 --> 00:14:38,482 Hello, people still in the house here! 239 00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:44,947 -Meet me at the theater at 7:00. -Mm-hmm. 240 00:14:46,258 --> 00:14:48,510 I don't know what I've done to deserve you. 241 00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:59,187 -Hey, Dad. -Listen, this is none of my business, 242 00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:02,483 but you're not falling for her again, are you? 243 00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:04,401 What if I were? 244 00:15:04,485 --> 00:15:06,361 That woman dumped you at the altar. 245 00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:08,197 Well, that was the old Diane. 246 00:15:09,031 --> 00:15:11,831 She no longer sees herself as the center of the universe. 247 00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:16,454 I'm not the old Frasier anymore, either. People can change, Dad. 248 00:15:16,538 --> 00:15:19,332 Yeah, I suppose you're right. Take me, for instance. 249 00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:22,211 The old Martin would've said, "You're out of your mind. 250 00:15:22,711 --> 00:15:24,921 "I'd rather see you go gay and shack up with the punk" 251 00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:26,755 "who shot me than go off with her." 252 00:15:29,593 --> 00:15:32,593 I'd rather see you sewed up inside the body of a dead horse." 253 00:15:33,472 --> 00:15:36,642 But the new Martin just says, "Viva l'amour." 254 00:15:39,687 --> 00:15:43,148 The new Frasier resists the temptation to correct your French. 255 00:15:48,987 --> 00:15:52,366 Well, the stage is set, my players are prepared. 256 00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:58,372 So, without further ado, I give you Rhapsody and Requiem, 257 00:15:59,289 --> 00:16:01,374 a play by Diane Chambers. 258 00:16:01,458 --> 00:16:02,626 [FRASIER APPLAUDING] 259 00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:14,595 Boy, it sure is great having Mary Anne back. 260 00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:16,555 It just wasn't the same when she was gone. 261 00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:20,643 Yeah, well, you know, recent studies at, Johns Hopkins University reveal 262 00:16:21,602 --> 00:16:24,402 that the expression "absence makes the heart grow fonder" 263 00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:26,983 is in actuality, rooted in scientific bedrock. 264 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,068 Yeah, so is your head. 265 00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:30,862 Ease up there, Darla. 266 00:16:31,904 --> 00:16:32,989 Evening, everybody. 267 00:16:33,698 --> 00:16:36,492 -Hey, there, Ned. -What would you say to a beer? 268 00:16:36,576 --> 00:16:39,286 What's a nice beer like you doing in a face like this? 269 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:40,329 [DIANE LAUGHING] 270 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,378 -Salutations, all. -Hey, there, Doc. 271 00:16:47,462 --> 00:16:48,379 What can I get you? 272 00:16:48,463 --> 00:16:49,963 DOC: A prickly choice, Stan. 273 00:16:50,047 --> 00:16:53,509 It reminds me of the one the 18th-century wit John Wilkes faced 274 00:16:53,593 --> 00:16:55,094 when asked by the Earl of Sandwich 275 00:16:55,178 --> 00:16:57,972 whether he expected to die on the gallows or of the pox. 276 00:16:58,473 --> 00:17:00,557 "That depends, sir," he said, "on whether I choose 277 00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:02,977 to embrace your principles or your mistress." 278 00:17:06,105 --> 00:17:07,398 Evening, people. 279 00:17:07,482 --> 00:17:08,775 ALL: Mary Anne! 280 00:17:14,739 --> 00:17:16,783 I pour beer down people's throats. 281 00:17:20,286 --> 00:17:21,245 I drink it. 282 00:17:23,623 --> 00:17:24,999 Our lives are empty, 283 00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:28,586 so what draws our feet here night after night? 284 00:17:30,087 --> 00:17:31,339 ALL: Mary Anne. 285 00:17:34,217 --> 00:17:35,593 Well, I'm off. 286 00:17:36,761 --> 00:17:40,556 -See you anon, mi amore. -You bet, honey. 287 00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:43,142 DIANE: Hold it. Stop. 288 00:17:45,728 --> 00:17:49,565 What kind of a kiss was that? You two are supposed to be in love. 289 00:17:49,649 --> 00:17:51,483 Well, I didn't know how big you wanted it. 290 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,986 Remember that kiss you gave me this morning? 291 00:17:54,070 --> 00:17:55,071 Like this one? 292 00:18:02,286 --> 00:18:06,415 -Come on, okay, from the kiss. -You bet, honey. 293 00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:18,885 Forgive me, Franklin. I suppose that was a tad inconsiderate. 294 00:18:18,969 --> 00:18:19,969 Quite all right. 295 00:18:20,053 --> 00:18:22,305 A loving spirit like yours can't be bridled. 296 00:18:22,389 --> 00:18:24,599 But I did leave you at the altar. 297 00:18:24,683 --> 00:18:27,853 Oh, you know I hold no ill will toward you for that. 298 00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:31,897 Can we just stop for a second? 299 00:18:32,732 --> 00:18:34,776 This whole "getting left at the altar" thing. 300 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:37,069 I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling. 301 00:18:37,153 --> 00:18:39,364 I may be able to illuminate that for you. 302 00:18:43,827 --> 00:18:46,996 What you're feeling is that this woman has reached into your chest, 303 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:52,377 plucked out your heart, and thrown it to her hellhounds for a chew toy. 304 00:18:54,588 --> 00:18:57,465 And it's not the last time either, because that's who this woman is. 305 00:18:57,549 --> 00:18:58,800 She is the devil! 306 00:18:58,884 --> 00:19:01,552 No use running away from her because no matter how far you go, 307 00:19:01,636 --> 00:19:03,596 no matter how many years you let pass, 308 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,726 you will never be completely out of reach of those bony fingers! 309 00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:12,230 So drink hearty, Franklin, and laugh, 310 00:19:12,314 --> 00:19:14,982 because you have made a pact with Beelzebub, 311 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,110 and her name is Mary Anne! 312 00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:19,696 [ALL APPLAUDING] 313 00:19:30,832 --> 00:19:31,666 FRASIER: Diane. 314 00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:34,044 Frasier. 315 00:19:35,545 --> 00:19:37,839 -I thought we should talk. -Oh, yes, I think we should. 316 00:19:37,923 --> 00:19:39,590 I tried to reach you at your home. 317 00:19:39,674 --> 00:19:40,759 I was driving around. 318 00:19:41,885 --> 00:19:47,432 I'm sorry if I in any way misled you about my feelings these past few weeks. 319 00:19:48,058 --> 00:19:51,269 You didn't. I think I misled myself. 320 00:19:51,353 --> 00:19:55,690 Well, at the very least, I obviously owe you an apology 321 00:19:55,774 --> 00:19:58,276 for the first time that things went awry between us. 322 00:19:58,360 --> 00:19:59,652 That's all right. 323 00:19:59,736 --> 00:20:01,571 No, it… it was a time in my life when all… 324 00:20:01,655 --> 00:20:04,240 No, Diane, it isn't necessary. 325 00:20:04,991 --> 00:20:08,703 The things I said, well, they just needed saying. 326 00:20:09,871 --> 00:20:12,123 Besides, I don't really feel all that harshly, 327 00:20:12,624 --> 00:20:15,961 and in retrospect, I'm reasonably sure that you are not the devil. 328 00:20:19,297 --> 00:20:22,676 Although he does have the power to assume pleasing shapes. 329 00:20:25,971 --> 00:20:29,139 Well, you should know, I've decided to go back to Los Angeles. 330 00:20:29,765 --> 00:20:31,975 Watching the play tonight through fresh eyes, 331 00:20:32,059 --> 00:20:35,479 I, well… I just don't think it's ready. 332 00:20:36,397 --> 00:20:38,147 I'm sure things will work out fine. 333 00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:42,695 Well, I… I think I've said what I came to say. 334 00:20:44,822 --> 00:20:47,991 Frasier, um, before you go, 335 00:20:48,075 --> 00:20:49,993 there's one last thing you could help me with, 336 00:20:50,077 --> 00:20:52,954 not that you haven't helped me a lot already, 337 00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:57,876 but it's the last scene where Franklin and Mary Anne say goodbye. 338 00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,920 It's never felt quite right to me. 339 00:21:00,629 --> 00:21:05,717 I'd like her to stand, oh, right about here, 340 00:21:05,801 --> 00:21:10,431 and tell him how much he's meant to her 341 00:21:10,931 --> 00:21:13,934 and how she'll never forget him. 342 00:21:14,935 --> 00:21:19,231 How do you suppose Franklin would respond to that? 343 00:21:25,738 --> 00:21:30,200 Well, I suppose he'd tell her that he feels the same way. 344 00:21:32,536 --> 00:21:35,436 That she's touched him in a way that she can never imagine, 345 00:21:36,123 --> 00:21:38,073 and he's glad that she was in his life. 346 00:21:41,003 --> 00:21:43,254 All that would be left would be the goodbye. 347 00:21:43,338 --> 00:21:44,338 How do you see that? 348 00:21:45,424 --> 00:21:47,176 Well, I suppose he could say… 349 00:21:49,011 --> 00:21:50,262 "Until we meet again." 350 00:21:51,180 --> 00:21:53,130 Probably certain that they never would. 351 00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:59,772 But mightn't there be a part of him that hopes they would? 352 00:22:00,439 --> 00:22:01,648 Oh, I suppose so, yes. 353 00:22:02,524 --> 00:22:04,442 All right then, don't have them sum things up. 354 00:22:04,526 --> 00:22:08,154 Just let them say their goodbyes and, if their paths happen to cross again, 355 00:22:08,238 --> 00:22:09,073 so be it. 356 00:22:14,661 --> 00:22:16,038 Goodbye, Mary Anne. 357 00:22:17,915 --> 00:22:19,374 Goodbye, Franklin. 358 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,377 Oh, yes, that's a perfect moment, uncluttered by any 359 00:22:22,461 --> 00:22:24,254 -extra words or phrases… -Diane. 360 00:22:24,338 --> 00:22:25,588 Oh, shoot, I've blown it. 361 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,750 -All right, let's try it again. -Okay. 362 00:22:37,517 --> 00:22:38,559 Goodbye, Diane. 363 00:22:41,479 --> 00:22:42,438 Goodbye, Frasier. 364 00:22:58,412 --> 00:22:59,622 Force of habit. 365 00:23:03,042 --> 00:23:04,544 I've been doing it all week. 366 00:23:13,427 --> 00:23:14,511 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 367 00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:17,004 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 368 00:23:17,088 --> 00:23:19,183 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 369 00:23:20,184 --> 00:23:21,268 Quite stylish. 370 00:23:21,352 --> 00:23:23,604 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 371 00:23:23,688 --> 00:23:26,523 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 372 00:23:26,607 --> 00:23:28,567 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 373 00:23:28,651 --> 00:23:30,152 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 374 00:23:30,236 --> 00:23:34,073 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 375 00:23:34,782 --> 00:23:36,868 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 376 00:23:37,493 --> 00:23:38,452 Good night!