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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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-Oh, how does he always hear me?
-He doesn't.
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He just swings through every 20 minutes.
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He knows you'll be
eating some kind of junk.
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I don't want him eating these.
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Then do what I do when I
want Eddie away from me.
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I make a sound like…
[HIGH-PITCHED ULULATING]
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That's mean.
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Why? It doesn't really hurt his ears.
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He just finds certain noises irritating.
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[NILES, FRASIER VOCALIZING]
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That was the most riveting production
of Wagner I have seen this season.
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I still have goose-bumps from
when Klingsor summoned Kundry
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with a terrible cry and
ordered her to seduce Parsifal.
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Ha! Er ist schön, der Knabe!
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Well, I had a pretty good night too.
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Took myself a nice hot bath, and
remember that corn I had on my toe?
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Well, it got so soft, I was
just able to peel it right off.
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It's going to be difficult
for me to top that,
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but I have some rather
exciting news myself.
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I'm sure you're all familiar
with the Safford case
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that's been in the papers?
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You mean that scum-sucking jerk
who's trying to get his father committed?
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Yes. Well, guess who's been
retained by that scum-sucking jerk?
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I'm going to be testifying as an expert
witness at Mr. Safford's capacity hearing.
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Wait a minute. You're gonna help
sell that poor old guy down the river?
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Not at all. Mr. Safford is unbalanced.
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His son is worried sick about him.
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Oh, his son's worried he's not gonna
get his hands on his father's fortune.
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Boy, the minute a man
starts getting up there,
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his kids start making
plans to divvy up his stuff.
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You'll be pleased to know
that Niles and I have decided
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to give all your things to charity.
We're donating your clothes to the blind.
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MARTIN: Well, it's just not right.
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A bunch of money-grubbers
behind closed doors trying
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to declare this poor old guy insane.
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For starters, it's not
behind closed doors.
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The entire proceeding will
be broadcast on Court TV.
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Oh, great.
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What father doesn't look forward
to the day he gathers his friends
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around the TV and says,
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"Hey, that's my boy, the
one making the old man cry."
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Dad, I'm sure Niles is only doing
this to protect Mr. Safford from himself.
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Old age doesn't have
to be that way, you know.
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My Great Aunt Beryl lived well into
her 90s, and her mind never failed her.
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Of course, she lost her eyesight in
her 70s and her balance in her 80s.
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By the end we spent most
of our time propping her up
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and putting another
bandage on her forehead.
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But, bless her heart, she could
always tell you just how it happened.
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Well, Safford is clearly irrational.
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Recently, he wandered off.
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They found him two days later riding
across Wyoming in a boxcar full of bums.
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He's taken to selling off property for
half its worth, and, most damning of all,
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when I went over to evaluate him, he
continually referred to me as "Sparky."
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I don't know, you always
wanted to have a nickname.
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You remember your campaign
to have the string section
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of the Youth Orchestra call you "Rocky"?
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It would have worked, too, if Tilly
Faraday hadn't pinned me to the ground
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with her trombone when I rebuked her
for neglecting to empty her spit valve.
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Well, I still think picking
on the old man stinks.
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God help you if you're
over 50 and you do anything
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that seems the least
bit odd to your family.
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La, la, la, la, la, la, la!
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WOMAN: …and I'm pretty sure
he's having an affair with his secretary.
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Well, have you talked to your
husband and heard his side of the story?
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-No.
-Well, Beth, it does seem that
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your fears may be well-founded, but I
think you should talk to your husband
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before you come to any final conclusions.
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing
you good day and good mental health.
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Here are those PSAs.
We'll do them tomorrow before the show.
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Thank you, Roz.
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Roz, why is that light still on?
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Is that Beth who I was just talking to?
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-No!
-Yes, it is.
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-It isn't!
-Yes, it is!
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-I'm sure it is.
-It's not.
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-Roz, have you been talking to Beth?
-Of course not!
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What do you think I'm
giving advice to your callers?
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Oh, Frasier, you are so paranoid.
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The world is full of enemies.
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Everybody's plotting against you.
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There's a man in a dark
trench coat right behind you.
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-Oh, very droll.
-Dr. Crane?
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I'm John Giroux.
I work for Harlow Safford.
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I'm afraid there's been some mistake.
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It's my brother who's
connected with the case.
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We're quite aware of that.
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But Mr. Safford feels he's
the victim of a grave injustice.
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He's an ardent fan of your show and feels
you're the only man who can help him.
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00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:27,086
Well, that's very flattering, but given
my brother's connection with the case,
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it wouldn't be very prudent
for me to get involved.
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Won't you at least talk to my
client and judge him by his words
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and his actions, not by how old he is?
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You sound like my father, a
man who believes that burial
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is a form of age discrimination.
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If you stop by this evening, I'm
convinced you'll find Mr. Safford
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is completely competent.
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Even if you won't testify on his behalf,
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perhaps you could at least get your
brother to reconsider his testimony?
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It's highly unlikely that I would
disagree with my brother's opinion.
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I really admired your
advice to that last caller.
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About not judging someone until
you've heard his side of the story.
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You're a good lawyer, Mr. Giroux.
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Mr. Safford only seeks out the very best.
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-I'll see you at 7:00?
-The address is on the back of my card.
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[DOOR CLOSES]
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I don't care what Dr. Crane said.
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You start talking to your husband
and he'll start covering his tracks.
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Get a detective now.
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[CLEARING THROAT]
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You were talking to my last caller.
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I swear, it's the first and last time.
I will never do it again.
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I hope not.
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Thanks for holding, Bill. I'm listening.
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Thank you.
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Enjoy your tour?
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Uh…
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Yes, yes.
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That's quite a model railroad Mr. Safford
has running through the grounds.
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00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,870
I've never seen one quite that scale.
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It's impressive, isn't it?
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Oh, yes, yes, especially
when it's bearing down on you.
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My heel stuck in the soft grass,
and I barely made the crossing.
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Tell me, how often does
Mr. Safford play with his train?
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Just the weekends, when he gives
rides to underprivileged children.
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Very admirable.
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There's a lot you don't know about him.
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That's why you're here.
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Yes, well, I promised to
consider all the evidence
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before I arrive at a conclusion.
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Yee-haw!
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I think I've arrived.
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-Hi, Sparky. I'm Harlow Safford.
-Dr. Frasier Crane.
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I don't believe I've ever seen
a fire pole in a home before.
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Oh, it, saves a lot of time,
except when going up, of course.
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[CHUCKLES]
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-And the hat?
-Oh, that's… that's just for laughs.
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00:08:06,849 --> 00:08:08,183
Yes, oh, try it on.
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00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:10,143
-I don't think I should.
-Go ahead, try it.
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-Come on.
-Well, all right.
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00:08:14,064 --> 00:08:15,775
Yes, it is sort of fun, isn't it?
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Not on you.
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So do you think you can convince
my self-righteous son that I'm not nuts?
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I think "nuts" is a little strong, but
you must admit that your behavior
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might seem to most people
to be a little unconventional.
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Oh, good.
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I spent my whole life being conventional.
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And one day I said to myself,
"Harlow, you're not having any fun."
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Do you…
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Speak to yourself often?
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00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,144
Don't try to trip me up, Sparky.
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00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,522
No, thank you. I'm trying to cut down on
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lollipops.
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-Well, thank you.
-All right.
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00:08:56,111 --> 00:08:59,198
Uh, tell me, why do
you call people "Sparky"?
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Well, it makes them smile.
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00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:02,369
Right, Sparky?
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00:09:03,745 --> 00:09:06,706
-You ought to try it with your patients.
-Oh, well, heh,
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00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:10,878
I'm not sure how warmly that would be
embraced by those undergoing electroshock.
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00:09:14,715 --> 00:09:17,177
Um, anyway, your son tells me
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00:09:17,261 --> 00:09:21,723
that you recently sold some
property at a fraction of its value.
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00:09:21,807 --> 00:09:22,640
That's right.
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00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:26,604
Terrific young married couple had their
heart set on it, but couldn't afford it.
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00:09:26,688 --> 00:09:27,897
So I helped them out.
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00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:30,498
There's nothing wrong with helping people.
166
00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:35,906
Well, he also informs me that you
recently indulged in an unorthodox,
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00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,825
not to mention hazardous, mode of travel.
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That pompous weenie.
That's exactly how he would put it.
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Actually, that was my wording.
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Well, I hopped a freight, rode the rails.
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You know, why not just purchase
a ticket and ride in a club car?
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00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,051
Where's the adventure in that?
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I'm 78. Someday I'll be too
old to jump off a moving train.
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00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,976
No, you've gotta live out
your fantasies while you can.
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00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,562
Do you understand that?
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00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:06,648
I think I can.
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00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:07,857
Yeah.
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00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:08,985
Mr. Safford,
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00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:12,280
what you've said makes
a great deal of sense.
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00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,490
Before we go on…
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00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:17,953
There's something I have to ask you.
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00:10:19,288 --> 00:10:20,289
Shoot.
183
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,832
It's a little embarrassing.
184
00:10:22,916 --> 00:10:24,001
I can take it.
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00:10:25,252 --> 00:10:26,254
Okay.
186
00:10:27,213 --> 00:10:28,631
Can I slide down that pole?
187
00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:33,553
Follow me, Sparky.
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00:10:39,101 --> 00:10:40,894
FRASIER: Dad, are you
gonna watch something now?
189
00:10:40,978 --> 00:10:42,771
Yeah. The championship fight.
190
00:10:42,855 --> 00:10:45,525
Don't worry, here's my earphones.
Won't bother anyone.
191
00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:47,485
Ha! You've already been a bother.
192
00:10:47,569 --> 00:10:50,488
Making me hide the sports
section so he won't see it,
193
00:10:50,572 --> 00:10:53,575
making me turn the news off
because they might say who won.
194
00:10:53,659 --> 00:10:54,743
I don't understand.
195
00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:56,578
Well, the fight was last night.
196
00:10:56,662 --> 00:11:00,834
It was on pay TV, but one of my
police buddies has a pirate antenna.
197
00:11:00,918 --> 00:11:02,168
So he taped it,
198
00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:05,852
and they messengered one to me in
an envelope marked "official business."
199
00:11:06,757 --> 00:11:10,720
Another inspiring tale of
our men in law enforcement.
200
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,056
Why are you walking funny?
201
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,100
Well, suffice it to say I learned today
202
00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:20,815
it is unwise to slide repeatedly down
a fire pole wearing woolen trousers.
203
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,609
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Daphne…
204
00:11:24,693 --> 00:11:26,947
-Oh, I'll get it.
-Thank you.
205
00:11:30,117 --> 00:11:31,075
Evening, Daphne.
206
00:11:31,159 --> 00:11:34,871
Oh, Dr. Crane, don't say anything
about last night's boxing match.
207
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,457
Your dad hasn't seen it yet.
208
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:38,751
Oh, I didn't even know
it was boxing season.
209
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:50,555
Well, did everyone see my
mention in this morning's paper?
210
00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:53,100
I'm afraid I missed that.
Well, small wonder.
211
00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:56,145
They buried it all the
way back on page 32.
212
00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:59,079
-It's next to the sports section.
-Get that out of here!
213
00:12:03,028 --> 00:12:04,279
-Let me see.
-Right there.
214
00:12:04,363 --> 00:12:05,238
Oh.
215
00:12:05,322 --> 00:12:06,656
"Court TV this week
216
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:11,287
"will feature the capacity hearing of
noted timber baron Harlow Safford."
217
00:12:11,371 --> 00:12:17,293
"Testifying on behalf of the family will
be Dr. Niles Crane, eminent psychiatrist,"
218
00:12:17,377 --> 00:12:20,881
"author and leading
authority on clinical psychosis."
219
00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:22,800
Dr. Crane is also the
brother of the renowned…"
220
00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:24,469
Yada, yada. The rest is filler.
221
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:28,182
Niles.
222
00:12:29,308 --> 00:12:31,558
-I have to talk to you about something.
-Oh.
223
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:35,146
Just after the show today, I was
visited by a man named Mr. Giroux.
224
00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:36,190
Ah.
225
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,027
He asked me to represent Mr. Safford.
226
00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:40,737
-What?
-MARTIN: Shh!
227
00:12:42,739 --> 00:12:43,614
Sorry.
228
00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:45,742
Given your involvement in
the case, I naturally declined.
229
00:12:45,826 --> 00:12:47,160
Oh. Thank God.
230
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:51,790
But I did agree to see if I concurred with
your diagnosis and speak to Mr. Safford.
231
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:54,377
-What?!
-Hey, keep it down!
232
00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:57,506
I just had to tell you that
I found Harlow Safford
233
00:12:58,173 --> 00:13:00,466
to be of completely sound mind.
234
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:01,885
And don't say, "What?"
235
00:13:02,677 --> 00:13:03,846
-Why?
-Quiet!
236
00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:10,000
Perhaps it would be better
if we spoke somewhere else.
237
00:13:14,942 --> 00:13:17,318
You couldn't stand that I had
a high-profile case, could you?
238
00:13:17,402 --> 00:13:18,319
You had to butt into it.
239
00:13:18,403 --> 00:13:19,988
I don't want you to
make a fool of yourself.
240
00:13:20,072 --> 00:13:22,241
These people came to me.
They asked for my expertise.
241
00:13:22,325 --> 00:13:25,619
Oh, ha! They were undoubtedly
exploiting your dubious celebrity.
242
00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:29,081
Of which you are jealous, and I
fear the reason you took this case.
243
00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:32,502
That is flatly untrue.
I took the case to help the family.
244
00:13:32,586 --> 00:13:34,880
-And to be on television.
-I don't give a hoot about television!
245
00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:36,215
Well, some of us do!
246
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,724
Niles, you made a hasty judgment,
and I am sorry, but you were wrong.
247
00:13:44,808 --> 00:13:47,352
Ah. Now we see why you
got involved in the case.
248
00:13:47,436 --> 00:13:50,481
So big brother could be right
and little Niles could be wrong.
249
00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:54,151
Oh, your pathetic childhood
issues have nothing to do with it.
250
00:13:54,235 --> 00:13:57,030
Face it, you were wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
251
00:13:57,114 --> 00:13:58,323
Oh! Oh! Oh!
252
00:13:59,616 --> 00:14:01,118
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
253
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:06,123
This from Mr. Quick Fix, the master of the
in-depth one-minute phone call diagnosis.
254
00:14:06,207 --> 00:14:09,084
I spent several hours with Mr. Safford,
and I found his behavior to be…
255
00:14:09,168 --> 00:14:11,045
Wildly irrational.
He's a lip-diddling loon.
256
00:14:11,129 --> 00:14:14,174
You think anything that's even
slightly spontaneous is aberrant.
257
00:14:14,258 --> 00:14:16,968
That's ridiculous! The man's incompetent!
258
00:14:17,052 --> 00:14:20,013
I'm warning you, if you get
up in a courtroom and say that,
259
00:14:20,097 --> 00:14:22,141
you will damage yourself professionally.
260
00:14:22,225 --> 00:14:24,101
I'm testifying, and you're
not going to stop me!
261
00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:26,854
Fine. But you leave me no
choice but to testify against you.
262
00:14:26,938 --> 00:14:29,649
-In that case, I'll see you in court.
-Good. I look forward to it.
263
00:14:29,733 --> 00:14:30,651
-So do I.
-Good.
264
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:31,944
-Good.
-Hey!
265
00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:38,117
Daphne, please, turn down that radio.
Dad is trying to watch a fight.
266
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,877
-FRASIER: How are you holding up?
-SAFFORD: Oh, I'm fine.
267
00:14:47,961 --> 00:14:51,257
Sparky, I know you don't want
to take any money for helping me,
268
00:14:51,341 --> 00:14:54,636
but at least let me make a
donation to your favorite charity.
269
00:14:55,845 --> 00:14:59,558
It was my duty, not to
mention a pleasure to help you.
270
00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,227
If you'd like to donate something,
271
00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:04,980
why don't you select a
charity of your own choosing?
272
00:15:06,024 --> 00:15:07,316
Fair enough.
273
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,401
Good. Excuse me.
274
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:16,661
Hello, Niles.
275
00:15:17,286 --> 00:15:19,288
It's not too late to ask
them to put a big blue ball
276
00:15:19,372 --> 00:15:21,472
in front of your face
during the broadcast.
277
00:15:22,875 --> 00:15:26,171
Perhaps spare you some
shred of your reputation.
278
00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:29,132
I'd laugh in your face,
but I'm saving my voice.
279
00:15:29,216 --> 00:15:30,300
[CLEARING THROAT]
280
00:15:31,635 --> 00:15:32,637
Oh, my God.
281
00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:34,597
You're wearing makeup.
282
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:39,602
I am not. This is… medication.
283
00:15:41,438 --> 00:15:45,067
-Something my dermatologist recommended.
-Dr. Revlon?
284
00:15:48,821 --> 00:15:51,866
These feeble attempts to
undermine my confidence are futile.
285
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,785
The testimony I've prepared
is nothing short of brilliant.
286
00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:56,662
I cite half a dozen
studies of gerontology,
287
00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:58,749
I quote everything from
the Bible to Herodotus,
288
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,335
I deftly interweave humor with pathos.
289
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,962
You may want to take notes.
290
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,216
And if you had an ounce of self-awareness,
291
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,177
you would realize that
your diagnosis was colored
292
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:13,264
by your zeal to put your
face in front of that camera.
293
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,683
-Oh!
-Oh, by the way…
294
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,730
Your "medication" is
rubbing off on your collar.
295
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:25,779
BAILIFF: All rise.
The court is in session.
296
00:16:25,863 --> 00:16:27,656
Judge Richard McCarron presiding.
297
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:28,741
Hello, Your Honor.
298
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,327
MCCARRON: Be seated.
299
00:16:33,496 --> 00:16:34,789
Good morning.
300
00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:37,223
-Has everyone been sworn in?
-Yes, Your Honor.
301
00:16:37,709 --> 00:16:42,590
Well, I see we have two
Dr. Cranes testifying today.
302
00:16:43,549 --> 00:16:44,675
Mr. Giroux.
303
00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:49,138
I think we'll hear from
your authority first.
304
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:53,768
I assume the other Dr. Crane has
no objection to that arrangement.
305
00:16:53,852 --> 00:16:55,853
None whatsoever, Your Honor.
306
00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:58,106
I'm over here, Dr. Crane.
307
00:17:00,026 --> 00:17:01,068
Your Honor,
308
00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:04,902
I would not presume to bore the court
with the recitation of dry statistics,
309
00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:06,783
gerontology studies…
310
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,496
…obscure literary references.
311
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:16,543
Instead I intend to speak from the heart.
312
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:23,467
I worry about a society that's chosen
to define normalcy in such narrow terms
313
00:17:23,551 --> 00:17:26,346
that if someone's behavior
deviates ever so slightly,
314
00:17:26,430 --> 00:17:29,767
we question his capacity to function.
315
00:17:30,476 --> 00:17:35,732
Mr. Safford's seeming eccentricities,
his love of trains, his generosity,
316
00:17:35,816 --> 00:17:37,358
they can all be readily explained.
317
00:17:37,442 --> 00:17:38,443
SAFFORD: Diabetes!
318
00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:40,987
Mr. Safford.
319
00:17:41,071 --> 00:17:42,739
I was talking to Sparky.
320
00:17:45,785 --> 00:17:47,494
-Did you say "diabetes"?
-Yes.
321
00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:52,459
We'll donate the money to diabetes.
Those poor people can't eat sugar.
322
00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:54,294
FRASIER: Fine. Fine.
323
00:17:54,378 --> 00:17:56,087
We'll talk about it afterward.
324
00:17:56,171 --> 00:17:58,382
MCCARRON: May we continue, Dr. Crane?
325
00:17:58,966 --> 00:18:00,133
My apologies, Your Honor.
326
00:18:00,217 --> 00:18:02,428
Mr. Safford and I were
discussing a very sizable donation
327
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:05,890
he intends to make later
today to a very worthy cause.
328
00:18:05,974 --> 00:18:08,309
I guess his enthusiasm
just got the best of him.
329
00:18:08,393 --> 00:18:13,106
But it is this very generosity
that his son finds so objectionable.
330
00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:17,069
That, and the fact that he did hop
a freight train across the country.
331
00:18:17,862 --> 00:18:21,491
But, you see, what he sees
as unstable, I see as romantic.
332
00:18:21,575 --> 00:18:22,951
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
333
00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:28,541
I don't suppose there's a railroad
track outside the courtroom?
334
00:18:37,759 --> 00:18:42,263
Doesn't Mr. Safford deserve
to be a bit of a free spirit
335
00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:45,100
after the years of his demanding career?
336
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:47,812
A career in which he wore…
337
00:18:49,355 --> 00:18:50,440
Many hats.
338
00:18:54,069 --> 00:18:58,281
That of a father, a philanthropist, a CEO.
339
00:18:58,365 --> 00:19:00,200
SAFFORD: All aboard! All aboard!
340
00:19:00,284 --> 00:19:01,660
Get your tickets ready.
341
00:19:01,744 --> 00:19:04,914
Have your tickets ready, please.
Have your tickets ready.
342
00:19:04,998 --> 00:19:08,000
In the end it all comes down to
this: Can we really condemn a man
343
00:19:08,084 --> 00:19:12,214
for maintaining a childlike joie
de vivre even in his twilight years?
344
00:19:12,298 --> 00:19:13,131
Thank you.
345
00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:15,425
All aboard for the coast express.
346
00:19:15,509 --> 00:19:19,514
Yes, making stops in Tacoma,
Olympia, Portland, and Salem.
347
00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,015
And the next stop is…
348
00:19:21,099 --> 00:19:23,685
I think I know where your
next stop is going to be.
349
00:19:34,364 --> 00:19:37,785
Now, look, Niles, before you
start gloating, let me just say this:
350
00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:40,579
You were right. I was wrong.
351
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,164
Big deal.
352
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,632
The world never got a
chance to hear me being right.
353
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,755
I suppose by now it's obvious that
what you were saying all along was true.
354
00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:52,467
I do envy your fame.
355
00:19:53,176 --> 00:19:57,180
Well, perhaps this public humiliation will
cure me of my damned competitiveness.
356
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,099
Oh.
357
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:00,893
Don't worry about it.
358
00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:03,980
I humiliated myself far
more than you did today.
359
00:20:04,064 --> 00:20:08,276
Oh, oh, obviously you didn't see the
way I was whoring after that TV camera.
360
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,404
Obviously you didn't see
how I was tap dancing up there
361
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:12,948
like an organ grinder's monkey.
362
00:20:13,032 --> 00:20:15,951
Yes, well, I might as well
have been tarred and feathered.
363
00:20:16,035 --> 00:20:18,078
I might as well have been
pilloried in the town square.
364
00:20:18,162 --> 00:20:20,164
I might as well have been
stripped naked and forced to…
365
00:20:20,248 --> 00:20:22,376
Oh, stop it, Niles! We're doing it again!
366
00:20:24,628 --> 00:20:27,464
Niles, you have no reason to feel badly.
367
00:20:28,298 --> 00:20:31,428
Everyone wants to be recognized
for something they're good at.
368
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:33,471
And you…
369
00:20:35,056 --> 00:20:36,474
Are a good psychiatrist.
370
00:20:38,644 --> 00:20:39,687
Thank you, Frasier.
371
00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:43,232
Something I can't really
lay claim to after today.
372
00:20:44,108 --> 00:20:46,694
How could I have so misjudged that man?
373
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:49,572
Well, he's undeniably
charming, for one thing.
374
00:20:49,656 --> 00:20:52,158
And he can be lucid
for long stretches of time.
375
00:20:52,242 --> 00:20:53,660
Yes, but you weren't fooled.
376
00:20:54,244 --> 00:20:58,583
Somehow you picked up on
some tiny clue that I missed.
377
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,543
You remember what it was?
378
00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,879
Yes. Midway through our interview
379
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,842
he took off his trousers and
tried to put them on the cat.
380
00:21:10,429 --> 00:21:13,475
I'd like to think I might have
picked up on that one too.
381
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:16,102
-Still…
-Frasier.
382
00:21:16,811 --> 00:21:18,854
You've always approached
life with a positive attitude.
383
00:21:18,938 --> 00:21:20,815
It's a quality I admire of yours.
384
00:21:20,899 --> 00:21:24,528
Perhaps your judgment was
clouded by your desire to see old age
385
00:21:25,071 --> 00:21:27,281
not as a time of inevitable decline,
386
00:21:28,032 --> 00:21:31,411
but as a time when
one's childhood's passions
387
00:21:31,995 --> 00:21:33,580
and fantasies can be reborn.
388
00:21:35,499 --> 00:21:36,500
Thank you, Niles.
389
00:21:39,002 --> 00:21:40,462
You know what would cheer me up?
390
00:21:40,546 --> 00:21:42,131
-What?
-I would like to hear
391
00:21:42,215 --> 00:21:43,924
that summation you
never got a chance to give.
392
00:21:44,008 --> 00:21:44,925
-Really?
-Yes.
393
00:21:45,009 --> 00:21:46,719
-You're not just saying that?
-Do you care?
394
00:21:46,803 --> 00:21:48,138
-No.
-All right, then.
395
00:21:48,722 --> 00:21:50,098
All right. [CHUCKLES]
396
00:21:50,182 --> 00:21:51,766
-I'm the judge.
-All right.
397
00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:53,101
-Okay.
-All rise.
398
00:21:53,185 --> 00:21:54,019
Yes, we are.
399
00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:56,480
We've been sworn in?
Yes, we have, Your Honor.
400
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,027
Dr. Crane, proceed.
401
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,654
Your Honor, I believe it
was Herodotus who said,
402
00:22:03,738 --> 00:22:07,451
"Circumstances rule men,
men do not rule circumstances."
403
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,584
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
404
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:17,099
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
405
00:22:17,183 --> 00:22:19,297
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
406
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,591
Quite stylish.
407
00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:23,844
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
408
00:22:23,928 --> 00:22:26,597
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
409
00:22:26,681 --> 00:22:28,766
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
410
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:30,392
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
411
00:22:30,476 --> 00:22:33,647
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
412
00:22:34,857 --> 00:22:36,984
♪ They're callin' again ♪
413
00:22:37,484 --> 00:22:39,444
Good night, Seattle, we love you!