1
00:00:10,070 --> 00:00:12,739
[SHOWER RUNNING]
2
00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:37,261
Whoa.
3
00:01:01,616 --> 00:01:03,576
Well, look who's up.
4
00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:16,838
BOY: It's my parents. I don't
know, they're just, like, really stupid.
5
00:01:16,922 --> 00:01:19,174
-May I ask how old you are?
-Fourteen.
6
00:01:19,717 --> 00:01:22,009
Well, hang on, Jimmy.
Your parents are gonna be stupid
7
00:01:22,093 --> 00:01:23,720
for another seven years.
8
00:01:25,096 --> 00:01:26,847
Whoa, seven years?
9
00:01:26,931 --> 00:01:29,266
That's, like, longer
than I'll be in high school.
10
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,893
I salute your optimism.
11
00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:34,020
We'll be right back after this.
12
00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:38,900
Oh, God, Roz. A teenager
who's embarrassed by his parents?
13
00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:41,943
Can't you come up with something
a little more challenging for me?
14
00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:44,696
It was either him or our
old pal Rudy, the crier.
15
00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:47,616
Rudy, the crier. He's been on
three times in the last month.
16
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:50,952
You put him on again, he won't
be the only one who's crying.
17
00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:53,788
God, I'm in a dry spell.
18
00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:56,290
Where are the souls of genuine torment?
19
00:01:56,374 --> 00:01:59,669
The people teetering on
the brink of genuine despair?
20
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:03,505
Oh, they'll be back.
The holidays are just around the corner.
21
00:02:03,589 --> 00:02:05,131
Well, perhaps you're right.
22
00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:06,633
Oh, Roz.
23
00:02:06,717 --> 00:02:09,219
-I've a question I'd like to ask you.
-Shoot.
24
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:13,597
Have you ever had a recurring dream
of an intimate nature about someone…
25
00:02:13,681 --> 00:02:16,183
Well, a coworker?
26
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,727
-Oh, no, why'd you tell me?
-Oh, Roz.
27
00:02:18,811 --> 00:02:21,980
Now it's gonna be creepy every
time you look at me through the glass.
28
00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:23,608
Roz, not you!
29
00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:26,317
-Who was it then?
-I'm not gonna go into specifics.
30
00:02:26,401 --> 00:02:28,486
-Gina in accounting?
-I'm not gonna do this.
31
00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:31,907
-Oh, Sheila, the slow intern?
-Forget I even mentioned it.
32
00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:34,117
Knock, knock.
33
00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,618
Gil.
34
00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:38,954
Frasier, I've come to tempt you.
35
00:02:39,038 --> 00:02:40,206
Really?
36
00:02:41,665 --> 00:02:45,876
I am reviewing the new pastry
chef at Chez Shea. And I quote:
37
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,003
"His amaretto éclair is so sinful,
38
00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:51,883
it will send you scurrying to
your local padre for absolution."
39
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,344
No, thank you, Gil.
I'm on a diet, you see.
40
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:59,728
-Oh, come now, you know you want it.
-No, no, no, I really don't.
41
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,852
Off you go. Bye-bye.
42
00:03:03,936 --> 00:03:05,770
-Oh, my God!
-What?
43
00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:07,354
-It was Gil!
-I never said that.
44
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,148
-Then why are you blushing?
-Ridiculous!
45
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,899
-Your ears are turning red.
-I am not.
46
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,819
You are.
47
00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:18,532
Still not blushing.
48
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,452
MAN [CRYING]: Just lying
there in the hospital bed,
49
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,829
she lifted her head off the pillow,
50
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:31,042
looked up and said, "I love you."
And then she was gone.
51
00:03:31,126 --> 00:03:33,379
Rudy, stop crying.
52
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:36,965
Now, we've gone over this before.
53
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,968
What was our agreement about sad movies?
54
00:03:42,303 --> 00:03:45,806
-I shouldn't watch them.
-Exactly.
55
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:47,600
Now, go get a cool washcloth
56
00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:49,976
to try to bring down the
puffiness around your eyes,
57
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:53,730
and please stay away from
sad or depressing things.
58
00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:57,317
Which, at this moment, includes
listening to The Frasier Crane Show.
59
00:03:58,402 --> 00:04:00,027
Well, let's shoot it to the news.
60
00:04:00,111 --> 00:04:03,990
That's it for today.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
61
00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:08,285
Oh, my God! Well, close the record books.
62
00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:11,871
That was just the dullest three hours in
the history of The Frasier Crane Show.
63
00:04:11,955 --> 00:04:13,623
Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad.
64
00:04:13,707 --> 00:04:16,292
What about the woman who was
so concerned about her appearance
65
00:04:16,376 --> 00:04:19,126
-she wouldn't leave the house?
-That was a commercial!
66
00:04:19,963 --> 00:04:23,048
I believe Miss Clairol solved the problem.
67
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,634
Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Roz. Oh, Roz.
68
00:04:25,718 --> 00:04:28,345
About that dream I
mentioned to you earlier…
69
00:04:28,846 --> 00:04:31,263
It goes without saying, I'd
rather you didn't share that.
70
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:34,017
-Oh, sure.
-Hi, dream boy.
71
00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:38,020
I hate you.
72
00:04:38,104 --> 00:04:39,980
Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?
73
00:04:40,064 --> 00:04:42,357
Just when did you find the
time to spread the news?
74
00:04:42,441 --> 00:04:45,235
You don't think I was
listening to your show, do you?
75
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,905
BULLDOG: Coming through!
76
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,032
Oh, Doc, I gotta rub this one in a little.
77
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,283
All right, Bulldog, before
you start to ridicule me,
78
00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:55,285
yes, yes, I had a dream about Gil,
79
00:04:55,369 --> 00:04:59,289
and, yes, it did have
some erotic elements, but…
80
00:04:59,373 --> 00:05:01,792
You have no idea what
I'm talking about, do you?
81
00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:04,169
I do now. Whoa!
82
00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:07,505
Look, let's just forget it.
83
00:05:07,589 --> 00:05:09,715
What delightful jibe did
you have prepared for me?
84
00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:12,885
Oh, I was gonna tell you your show
today just broke the snooze-o-meter,
85
00:05:12,969 --> 00:05:16,513
but now I wanna hear about
you greasing Gil's cookie sheet.
86
00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,059
I'm on a bus to hell.
87
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,023
So I returned to the dry
cleaners yet a third time.
88
00:05:28,107 --> 00:05:30,526
I hardly need to tell
you how the story ends.
89
00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:32,654
Just tell me when the story ends.
90
00:05:34,322 --> 00:05:37,156
Fine. They realigned my pleats. The end.
91
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,493
I'm sorry, Niles.
I'm just a bit distracted today.
92
00:05:40,577 --> 00:05:43,955
See, this morning a man from my building,
93
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,914
approached me with an intriguing problem.
94
00:05:45,998 --> 00:05:48,584
Seems he's been having a recurring dream.
95
00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:51,461
Please, that little gambit didn't
work when we were in knee socks.
96
00:05:51,545 --> 00:05:54,298
-What was your dream, Frasier?
-Oh, all right.
97
00:05:55,007 --> 00:05:58,307
It's been tormenting me.
I haven't been able to sleep in weeks now.
98
00:05:59,386 --> 00:06:03,890
It's a bit hazy, but it starts
out in a seedy motel room.
99
00:06:03,974 --> 00:06:05,892
-I'm naked.
-Interesting.
100
00:06:05,976 --> 00:06:09,644
Yes, well, I roll over and
discover on my forearm
101
00:06:09,728 --> 00:06:12,772
a tattoo with the word "chesty."
102
00:06:12,856 --> 00:06:15,942
-Interesting.
-Yes. And then the shower turns off.
103
00:06:16,026 --> 00:06:18,194
Out from the bathroom steps…
104
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,363
A man.
105
00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:24,999
All right, go ahead, let me have it.
106
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,518
Are you saying that now, or
is that a quote from the dream?
107
00:06:30,914 --> 00:06:32,582
Please.
108
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:36,461
We're too intelligent to waste
time on the obvious interpretation.
109
00:06:36,545 --> 00:06:39,922
Yes.
But you must admit it's rather intriguing.
110
00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:41,423
Would you stop?
111
00:06:41,507 --> 00:06:44,301
It's obviously screaming
for a Jungian interpretation.
112
00:06:44,385 --> 00:06:46,595
The sexuality in the
dream is surely symbolic
113
00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:49,014
of some deeper non-sexual conflict.
114
00:06:49,098 --> 00:06:52,308
-All right.
-Good afternoon, Frasier.
115
00:06:53,184 --> 00:06:55,436
-Gil.
-A little birdie tells me,
116
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,148
I was featured in your midnight movie.
117
00:06:59,524 --> 00:07:01,024
Very clever. Off you go.
118
00:07:01,108 --> 00:07:02,817
Very well. See you tomorrow,
119
00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:05,237
or should I say, see you in your dreams.
120
00:07:08,282 --> 00:07:10,241
In this dream of yours,
were there any cigars,
121
00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:13,160
bananas or short, blunt swords?
122
00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:17,081
Would you stop it?
I'm 43, a little late for latency.
123
00:07:17,749 --> 00:07:19,625
-You guys okay over here?
-We're fine.
124
00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,876
Well, you must be new here.
125
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,170
I would've remembered
such a pretty face as yours.
126
00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:26,297
-You're overcompensating.
-Right.
127
00:07:26,381 --> 00:07:27,716
We're fine. Bye-bye.
128
00:07:30,552 --> 00:07:34,805
I'm just baffled by it. Gil Chesterton
explains "chesty," but little else.
129
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:37,349
You should tackle this from
a free-association standpoint.
130
00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:40,268
-Oh, God. Must we?
-Focus on a detail in the motel room.
131
00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:42,702
What's the first thing
that pops into your mind?
132
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,480
A crescent-shaped lamp.
133
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,692
Perfect. A crescent-shaped lamp.
Run with that.
134
00:07:47,776 --> 00:07:49,402
Crescent. Moon.
135
00:07:49,486 --> 00:07:51,404
Daphne Moon. French maid.
136
00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:53,655
-Brass bed. Satin rope.
-Niles!
137
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:59,077
-This is my dream.
-I was just showing you the process.
138
00:07:59,161 --> 00:08:01,413
You were three words
away from a cigarette.
139
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,790
-Your turn.
-All right.
140
00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:07,085
-Crescent lamp.
-Crescent.
141
00:08:08,294 --> 00:08:09,670
Croissant.
142
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,423
Butter. Apricot jam.
143
00:08:13,382 --> 00:08:15,675
Hunger. Food. Diet.
144
00:08:16,176 --> 00:08:18,845
My God, I've been on a diet.
Do you think that's useful?
145
00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:21,014
You could stand to lose a few pounds.
146
00:08:22,641 --> 00:08:24,309
Just wait a minute.
147
00:08:24,935 --> 00:08:27,644
All right, Gil is a restaurant critic.
He's a gourmet.
148
00:08:27,728 --> 00:08:30,188
Perhaps he's symbolic of the
food I've been denying myself.
149
00:08:30,272 --> 00:08:31,815
That would explain why you're naked.
150
00:08:31,899 --> 00:08:34,317
It's when we're most
self-conscious about our bodies.
151
00:08:34,401 --> 00:08:37,570
Yes, and most vulnerable
to the way society tattoos us,
152
00:08:37,654 --> 00:08:40,865
with labels about our appearance.
Oh, my God, that's it, Niles.
153
00:08:40,949 --> 00:08:44,160
The dream is simply telling me
that I've been too rigid about my diet.
154
00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:46,703
You'll know tonight.
If this is the correct interpretation,
155
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,914
the conflict will have passed from
your unconscious to your conscious mind.
156
00:08:49,998 --> 00:08:52,000
Yes.
The dream will have served its purpose.
157
00:08:52,084 --> 00:08:55,587
-And you'll no longer be plagued by it.
-Oh, God. I've nailed it. I really have.
158
00:08:55,671 --> 00:08:57,463
Finally, for the first time in weeks,
159
00:08:57,547 --> 00:09:02,593
there'll be no tequila bottles, no
tattoo, no half-naked man in my bed.
160
00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:05,429
So then the rabbi says…
161
00:09:09,474 --> 00:09:12,144
[SHOWER RUNNING]
162
00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:26,907
[SHOWER STOPS RUNNING]
163
00:09:34,038 --> 00:09:36,165
Oh, I'm sorry.
164
00:09:36,249 --> 00:09:37,667
Wrong room.
165
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:44,214
That does it. We're finding another motel.
166
00:09:44,756 --> 00:09:46,550
Oh, God.
167
00:09:54,432 --> 00:09:55,892
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
168
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,561
Hello.
169
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:04,398
Someone followed me again last night.
170
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,234
You're just being paranoid.
171
00:10:06,318 --> 00:10:07,860
I'm telling you, they're on to me.
172
00:10:07,944 --> 00:10:12,281
Come on, nobody could recognize
you after all that plastic surgery.
173
00:10:13,991 --> 00:10:15,367
That's what Marlena thought.
174
00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:19,038
Marlena got sloppy.
She never should've gone back to Zürich.
175
00:10:20,789 --> 00:10:22,873
I just don't want any more bloodshed.
176
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:25,543
[WHISPERS] Relax, you're home-free.
177
00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:28,754
You don't know the Woodchuck and his ways.
178
00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:30,256
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
179
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:41,057
-Oh, we're terrible.
-We are? You are.
180
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,101
"The Woodchuck and his ways"?
181
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:45,686
You know, we really should
stop doing this. It's not nice.
182
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,189
Yeah, you're right.
We won't do it anymore.
183
00:10:57,614 --> 00:10:59,782
How'd you get the stuff through customs?
184
00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:02,160
They never check the wooden leg.
185
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,913
The answer has got to
be in there somewhere.
186
00:11:06,997 --> 00:11:11,042
Here's something. "Dreams as
an expression of wish-fulfillment."
187
00:11:11,126 --> 00:11:13,003
Moving on.
188
00:11:14,755 --> 00:11:16,547
Goodness, are you two still here?
189
00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:18,382
-What are you working on?
-Nothing.
190
00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:21,166
I'm helping Frasier interpret
a dream he's been having.
191
00:11:22,136 --> 00:11:24,555
You know, maybe Dad can help.
192
00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:26,139
No, no, no. No, no, no.
193
00:11:26,223 --> 00:11:29,100
Don't want to bore Dad with the
details of this particular dream.
194
00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:31,311
Dreams can be rooted
in childhood experience.
195
00:11:31,395 --> 00:11:33,313
Maybe Dad remembers
something you repressed.
196
00:11:33,397 --> 00:11:35,648
Gee, I don't know.
If it's about when you were a kid,
197
00:11:35,732 --> 00:11:37,692
I've repressed a lot of that myself.
198
00:11:38,818 --> 00:11:41,737
This is not a dream I wish to share
with Dad, thank you very much.
199
00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:43,614
We've exhausted every
other interpretation,
200
00:11:43,698 --> 00:11:45,991
so I guess it's back to
dreams as wish-fulfillment.
201
00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:49,160
Oh, Dad, would you
mind listening to my dream
202
00:11:49,244 --> 00:11:51,621
to see if it conjures up any
memories from my childhood?
203
00:11:51,705 --> 00:11:53,706
Oh, come on, you're
making too much out of this.
204
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,291
It's a dream. Dreams are weird.
205
00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:58,418
Okay, please, Dad, I wouldn't
ask if it weren't really bothering me.
206
00:11:58,502 --> 00:12:00,587
-Oh, all right. Go on.
-All right now.
207
00:12:00,671 --> 00:12:02,923
It starts out in a little motel room.
208
00:12:03,007 --> 00:12:06,051
I have a tattoo on my arm, "chesty."
209
00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:08,552
See? That's weird.
210
00:12:08,636 --> 00:12:11,222
Yes, but then out from
the bathroom steps a…
211
00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:12,723
All right, now before I continue,
212
00:12:12,807 --> 00:12:16,607
just let me remind you that this is a
dream, not to be confused with reality.
213
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,438
Out from the bathroom steps a…
214
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:21,398
Man…
215
00:12:22,232 --> 00:12:23,983
Eating lion.
216
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,818
Oh, see?
217
00:12:25,902 --> 00:12:27,779
There again, weird.
218
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:31,823
Look, dreams come, they go.
They don't mean anything.
219
00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:34,868
Except if you're lucky once in a
while, you might have one that's fun.
220
00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:37,621
Like, you know, you're hitting
a home run in the World Series,
221
00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:39,998
or you're in the jungle
with Jayne Mansfield
222
00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:42,875
-and she gets bit by a snake.
-Thank you, Dad.
223
00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:45,378
-You know who Jayne Mansfield is?
-Yes, Dad.
224
00:12:45,462 --> 00:12:48,256
-Know what they do when you're bit?
-Yes, Dad.
225
00:12:49,716 --> 00:12:52,968
Wish I knew what I
had for dinner that night.
226
00:12:53,052 --> 00:12:56,263
Oh, I get it.
"Chesty" refers to Gil Chesterton.
227
00:12:56,347 --> 00:12:58,849
Niles, you gossipy fishwife.
228
00:12:59,558 --> 00:13:01,642
There's no reason to feel
self-conscious, Dr. Crane.
229
00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:03,560
We've all had dreams like that.
230
00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:07,022
I had one about a girl I shared
a flat with once. A gymnast.
231
00:13:07,106 --> 00:13:09,817
Go on, Daphne. This could be significant.
232
00:13:09,901 --> 00:13:14,779
Well, I remember we were
doing stretches in the gymnasium,
233
00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:17,156
when suddenly we decided
to take off all our clothes
234
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,410
and go for a bounce on the trampoline.
235
00:13:20,494 --> 00:13:23,412
The next thing you know, I'm chasing
her around the pommel horse and…
236
00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:24,955
Oh, never mind.
237
00:13:25,039 --> 00:13:26,499
Don't stop now.
238
00:13:29,293 --> 00:13:30,753
This could help us.
239
00:13:34,464 --> 00:13:37,174
Well, actually, I do have a theory
of me own about your dream,
240
00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:39,760
-if you'd like to hear it.
-What the hell.
241
00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:45,015
Well, in your dream, who
was in the shower? Gil.
242
00:13:45,099 --> 00:13:47,684
What is a shower? Running water.
243
00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:50,312
Who needs water? Fish.
244
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,439
What do fish have? Gills.
245
00:13:52,523 --> 00:13:54,816
Do you see where I'm going?
246
00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:58,444
Insane.
247
00:13:59,612 --> 00:14:03,073
It could be a dream about the
loss of a beloved childhood pet.
248
00:14:03,157 --> 00:14:06,784
Thanks a lot, Eddie. Forty-five
minutes in the park, you don't have to go.
249
00:14:06,868 --> 00:14:09,662
I get one bite into my sandwich,
and you give me the look.
250
00:14:09,746 --> 00:14:12,957
Mr. Crane, did Dr. Crane ever
have a goldfish growing up?
251
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:14,709
-A fish?
-Yes, as a pet.
252
00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:16,877
How would I know?
That was Hester's department.
253
00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:18,462
Come on, let's go.
254
00:14:19,088 --> 00:14:21,631
Frasier, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
255
00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,633
That Dad can interpret
the looks from his dog
256
00:14:23,717 --> 00:14:26,844
and has only the spottiest
recollections of our childhood?
257
00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:29,388
No, no, no. Hester.
258
00:14:29,472 --> 00:14:33,309
Hesty. The tattoo.
That's only one letter away from chesty.
259
00:14:33,393 --> 00:14:36,729
Then are you saying that the
dream could have been about Mother?
260
00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:38,229
Well?
261
00:14:38,313 --> 00:14:40,148
I suppose I could've misread the tattoo.
262
00:14:40,232 --> 00:14:44,194
Yes, this freckle pattern here on
my arm could be mistaken for a C.
263
00:14:44,278 --> 00:14:47,239
And what swims in the sea? Fish.
264
00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:52,910
All right, all right. I'll go.
265
00:14:52,994 --> 00:14:55,829
Well, so, the tattoo
could've said "Hesty."
266
00:14:55,913 --> 00:14:58,664
But the problem is I don't ever
remember Dad calling Mom that.
267
00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:00,249
But who's to say he didn't?
268
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,710
[GASPS]
269
00:15:03,462 --> 00:15:05,421
-NILES, FRASIER: Dad, Dad, Dad.
-What?
270
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,590
Did you ever have a nickname for Mother?
271
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,425
Oh, for God's sakes, this
to do with that stupid dream?
272
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,511
-Dad, this is really important.
-Any pet name?
273
00:15:12,595 --> 00:15:14,262
A term of endearment?
274
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:18,683
Well, when we were first
married, I used to call her "honey."
275
00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:21,894
And then there was a time after
that that I started calling her "sweetie."
276
00:15:21,978 --> 00:15:25,314
I'm sure there's a delicious
anecdote behind each one of those,
277
00:15:25,398 --> 00:15:28,651
but did you ever call her Hesty?
278
00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:31,820
-Hesty?
-Oh, come on! Think, man!
279
00:15:31,904 --> 00:15:34,823
Even once.
Once in all the years you lived together?
280
00:15:34,907 --> 00:15:37,158
Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess.
281
00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:39,619
-Maybe once, you know.
-Oh, thank you, Dad.
282
00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:41,328
Well, there it is.
283
00:15:41,412 --> 00:15:43,330
I must have heard him call her Hesty once,
284
00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:46,166
and neatly tucked it away
into my subconscious.
285
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,335
Of course. It's so obvious.
286
00:15:48,419 --> 00:15:51,505
Gil is a food critic. Food. Criticism.
287
00:15:51,589 --> 00:15:53,006
[IN UNISON] Mother!
288
00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:57,009
It's the classic Oedipal dream.
289
00:15:57,093 --> 00:16:00,346
Yes. Only I was so frightened by
my sexual urges to be with my mother
290
00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,932
that I transformed her into a man.
291
00:16:04,725 --> 00:16:07,519
Oh, what a relief.
I've been wringing my hands over nothing.
292
00:16:07,603 --> 00:16:11,023
I mean it's okay. All I want to do
is have sex with my dead mother.
293
00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:19,155
[SHOWER RUNNING]
294
00:16:32,042 --> 00:16:33,585
[SHOWER STOPS RUNNING]
295
00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:40,841
Mom?
296
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,303
Mommy?
297
00:16:47,055 --> 00:16:48,932
Patience, Daddy.
298
00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,611
[MARTIN GRUNTS]
299
00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:05,572
You'd think by now I'd know better
than to have that third Slim Jim
300
00:17:05,656 --> 00:17:08,116
before going to bed.
301
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,621
-You couldn't sleep either, huh?
-No.
302
00:17:13,705 --> 00:17:17,665
Frankly, I'm sort of afraid to go back
to sleep. It's that damn dream again.
303
00:17:17,749 --> 00:17:19,876
Oh, what are you worried about?
It's just a dream.
304
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,419
Worst case scenario:
305
00:17:21,503 --> 00:17:24,798
The man-eating lion leaps
on top of you and mauls you.
306
00:17:27,508 --> 00:17:30,385
I'm sorry, Dad. I wasn't
completely truthful with you before.
307
00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:34,473
The dream is really about me in a
motel room with a male companion,
308
00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:35,933
Gil Chesterton.
309
00:17:36,601 --> 00:17:39,060
You don't care if I ever
sleep again, do you?
310
00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:42,104
Dad, please.
I'd really like to discuss this.
311
00:17:42,188 --> 00:17:44,649
MARTIN: No, Frasier, please.
This makes me very uncomfortable.
312
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,609
-FRASIER: Dad, please?
-I know, I know.
313
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:49,486
In your generation, men
talk about everything.
314
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,363
Everything's out in the open.
315
00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:55,492
You know, what really drives me
crazy is the way you all touch each other.
316
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:58,286
Everybody hugs, you know.
317
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,080
In my generation, it was a handshake.
318
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,831
That was good enough,
319
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,959
and maybe if you felt
especially close to someone,
320
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:08,337
you could touch them on the shoulder,
but never for more than two seconds.
321
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,755
And don't talk to me
about football players
322
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:14,425
patting people's butts and everything
because that's different. That's sports.
323
00:18:14,509 --> 00:18:17,345
-That's like war. Now, good night, son.
-Dad!
324
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,639
If you wanna tell me
something, write it on a Post-it,
325
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:23,141
-and stick it on the fridge.
-Look, I really want to talk about this.
326
00:18:23,225 --> 00:18:25,727
I've exhausted every other
interpretation of this dream.
327
00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:28,730
Is it possible my
subconscious is trying to tell me
328
00:18:28,814 --> 00:18:30,607
something about my sexuality?
329
00:18:30,691 --> 00:18:32,734
-Oh, that's ridiculous!
-Is it?
330
00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:35,570
I was sensitive as a child.
331
00:18:35,654 --> 00:18:37,154
I didn't go in for sports.
332
00:18:37,238 --> 00:18:38,990
God, it's every cliché in the book.
333
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,242
Surely it must have
occurred to you at some point.
334
00:18:41,326 --> 00:18:44,035
You refused to take me to see
West Side Story on my birthday.
335
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,245
Well, because of the gangs.
336
00:18:45,329 --> 00:18:47,581
-That's scary for kids.
-Even gangs that dance?
337
00:18:47,665 --> 00:18:50,167
Especially gangs that dance.
338
00:18:53,252 --> 00:18:56,880
All right, yeah, okay.
Yeah, I thought about it,
339
00:18:56,964 --> 00:19:00,092
but, no, Frasier, no.
I don't believe that.
340
00:19:00,176 --> 00:19:03,220
And you know why?
Because you would've known by now.
341
00:19:03,887 --> 00:19:06,264
Your unconscious or
whatever the hell you call it
342
00:19:06,348 --> 00:19:09,476
could no more have kept its
yap shut than the rest of you.
343
00:19:11,728 --> 00:19:13,313
-I suppose you're right.
-Yeah.
344
00:19:13,397 --> 00:19:14,813
Now, come on, it's after 3.
345
00:19:14,897 --> 00:19:17,024
You're gonna be worn out
before the show tomorrow.
346
00:19:17,108 --> 00:19:20,110
-What a tragedy that would be.
-Now what're you complaining about?
347
00:19:20,194 --> 00:19:22,029
Oh, no, just…
348
00:19:22,113 --> 00:19:24,322
I haven't had any really
interesting calls lately.
349
00:19:24,406 --> 00:19:26,949
I'm beginning to question
whether I'm bored with psychiatry.
350
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:30,787
You'd never know it the way you
got your nose stuck in all those books.
351
00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:33,122
That's true.
352
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:34,873
The one saving grace about this dream
353
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,959
is it's given me a chance to
flex my analytical muscle a bit.
354
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:39,920
So maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
355
00:19:40,504 --> 00:19:41,964
Wait a minute.
356
00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:45,258
Could that be what
this has been all about?
357
00:19:45,342 --> 00:19:47,843
I've been so intellectually
unchallenged lately by my show
358
00:19:47,927 --> 00:19:52,514
that my mind had to create a
dream that defies interpretation
359
00:19:52,598 --> 00:19:55,601
-just to give me a challenge?
-I don't know, keep talking.
360
00:19:55,685 --> 00:19:57,519
You're making me sleepy.
361
00:19:59,479 --> 00:20:00,897
Dad, no, that's got to be it!
362
00:20:00,981 --> 00:20:04,359
My show hasn't provided me with
a single patient worthy of my skills.
363
00:20:04,443 --> 00:20:06,818
And I had to invent one myself. Me.
364
00:20:06,902 --> 00:20:09,363
Oh, God, what a relief.
365
00:20:09,447 --> 00:20:12,240
At last, finally, to bed.
Dad, you witnessed an epiphany.
366
00:20:12,324 --> 00:20:14,576
MARTIN: Yeah, God, I gotta
get you to put this on tape.
367
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,244
FRASIER: Well, off we go.
368
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:19,914
To sleep, perchance not to dream.
369
00:20:25,336 --> 00:20:26,588
[MOANS]
370
00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,969
[SHOWER NOT RUNNING]
371
00:20:41,726 --> 00:20:43,603
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
372
00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:48,065
Come in.
373
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,902
Dr. Crane? Dr. Sigmund Freud.
374
00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:56,698
-My goodness, this is quite an honor.
-The honor is all mine.
375
00:20:56,782 --> 00:21:00,659
I gave you a complex psychological
problem, and you solved it.
376
00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:02,911
-Thank you…
-You're a brilliant psychiatrist.
377
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:07,165
Oh, that's very flattering, but there
are so many things I'd like to ask you.
378
00:21:07,249 --> 00:21:09,376
In good time, my boy, in good time.
379
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:12,879
Right now we have more important matters.