1
00:00:09,754 --> 00:00:12,923
Well, listeners, flu
season is upon us again.

2
00:00:13,007 --> 00:00:14,341
As is customary,

3
00:00:14,425 --> 00:00:18,803
KACL is offering its employees
and their families free flu shots.

4
00:00:18,887 --> 00:00:21,847
Now, in order to show the
importance of getting a flu shot,

5
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,891
I am going to put aside
my lifelong fear of needles

6
00:00:24,975 --> 00:00:28,645
and be inoculated right here
over the air when we come back.

7
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,941
I've been sitting out here a half an hour.
I got places to go.

8
00:00:33,025 --> 00:00:35,484
Well, Dr. Claman is on his way, Dad.

9
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,319
Frasier, are you really afraid of needles?

10
00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:39,822
Not really. I just say that to
encourage people that are.

11
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,240
Well, they can use the help.

12
00:00:41,324 --> 00:00:43,616
You know, those needles
they use are about this long,

13
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:46,202
-and if it hits a nerve when it's going…
-Stop it, Roz.

14
00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:49,080
Shots are perfectly harmless.
You got nothing to worry about.

15
00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:51,541
Oh, sure, you hear the occasional story

16
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:54,042
about someone getting
an air bubble in their vein

17
00:00:54,126 --> 00:00:57,963
or the needle getting stuck in
a bone and the tip breaking off,

18
00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,298
but that's the exception.

19
00:01:00,382 --> 00:01:02,259
Oh, that's it. We're out of here.

20
00:01:02,343 --> 00:01:05,010
But what about my flu shot?
I always get a flu shot.

21
00:01:05,094 --> 00:01:08,180
You're not getting one today. You
told me you'd drop me off at McGinty's.

22
00:01:08,264 --> 00:01:10,266
Now, I told Duke I'd
meet him at 5:00 sharp,

23
00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:12,308
and he pouts if I'm not there on time.

24
00:01:12,392 --> 00:01:14,185
Sits there with his bottom lip stuck out

25
00:01:14,269 --> 00:01:17,397
and eats all the Brazil nuts out of
the bowl because he knows I like them.

26
00:01:17,481 --> 00:01:19,315
So come on, let's go.

27
00:01:19,399 --> 00:01:23,694
It's nice to know men in bars still settle
their disputes the old-fashioned way.

28
00:01:23,778 --> 00:01:25,738
-Dr. Crane.
-Oh, Dr. Claman.

29
00:01:25,822 --> 00:01:27,781
Sorry I'm late.
My last patient was a bleeder.

30
00:01:27,865 --> 00:01:29,534
Oh.

31
00:01:30,493 --> 00:01:33,578
-Fifteen seconds.
-Where are my manners?

32
00:01:33,662 --> 00:01:36,080
Perhaps…
Perhaps you should get inoculated first.

33
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,874
I already had my shot,

34
00:01:37,958 --> 00:01:40,919
but I could sure use a check-up.

35
00:01:41,919 --> 00:01:43,128
-You're on.
-Oh, right.

36
00:01:44,255 --> 00:01:46,298
All right, folks. Uh, we're back, um…

37
00:01:46,382 --> 00:01:49,050
Joining us for this last minute
of our show is Dr. Morris Claman,

38
00:01:49,134 --> 00:01:52,219
who is going to give me my… my flu shot.

39
00:01:52,303 --> 00:01:54,054
But you know, what's the rush?

40
00:01:54,138 --> 00:01:55,973
Perhaps we'd be interested in finding out

41
00:01:56,057 --> 00:01:59,226
what strains of flu
you've isolated this year.

42
00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:01,019
Primarily Singapore, Rangoon and Malayan.

43
00:02:01,103 --> 00:02:02,395
Would you roll up your sleeve?

44
00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:05,231
And how do you suppose they traveled here?

45
00:02:05,315 --> 00:02:06,941
No idea. Roll up your sleeve.

46
00:02:07,025 --> 00:02:09,527
Could it have been a careless tourist?

47
00:02:09,611 --> 00:02:12,237
A… A baggage handler? A tainted wok?

48
00:02:12,321 --> 00:02:14,656
Dr. Crane, we're almost out of time.

49
00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:16,408
You do wanna get that shot, don't you?

50
00:02:16,492 --> 00:02:17,701
Yes, yes.

51
00:02:17,785 --> 00:02:20,703
All right. First, I'm just gonna
swab the area with a little alcohol,

52
00:02:20,787 --> 00:02:22,622
and then I'm gonna give you the shot.

53
00:02:22,706 --> 00:02:23,832
There, that's done.

54
00:02:24,374 --> 00:02:26,125
Really?

55
00:02:26,209 --> 00:02:28,669
Well, that didn't hurt at all.

56
00:02:28,753 --> 00:02:32,297
This is the newly immunized
Dr. Frasier Crane signing off.

57
00:02:32,381 --> 00:02:35,717
No, no, that was just the alcohol.
This is the needle.

58
00:02:35,801 --> 00:02:38,178
[FRASIER SCREAMS]

59
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,893
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

60
00:02:45,977 --> 00:02:47,186
NILES: Ah!

61
00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:49,604
Well, you're late.
All the tables are taken.

62
00:02:49,688 --> 00:02:51,773
No, there's one right there.
Dibs on that table.

63
00:02:51,857 --> 00:02:52,982
Roz, Niles was here first.

64
00:02:53,066 --> 00:02:55,401
No, but I'm meeting someone. Please, guys?

65
00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:59,571
Oh, who is it? Another one of your
till-dawn-do-us-part relationships?

66
00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:02,908
No, twerp. This is a guy who
I think really has a chance.

67
00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:05,328
I can sense a lot of chemistry between us.

68
00:03:05,745 --> 00:03:07,162
-Morris!
-Hi.

69
00:03:07,246 --> 00:03:10,122
Dear God!
When did you two even get out of my sight?

70
00:03:10,206 --> 00:03:13,168
You blacked out for 30 seconds
after he gave you the shot.

71
00:03:14,169 --> 00:03:16,212
Well, no one is budging.
We could be here forever.

72
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:21,007
Well, Niles, I suppose
we could share a table.

73
00:03:21,091 --> 00:03:23,191
There's a couple of seats available there.

74
00:03:24,678 --> 00:03:26,971
Oh, good Lord.
We can't sit with strange women.

75
00:03:27,055 --> 00:03:29,223
Why not? We married strange women.

76
00:03:29,307 --> 00:03:30,766
It's… I know.

77
00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:33,435
-Really, I'm not in the mood.
-You know, just try to relax.

78
00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:35,771
Do you good to do something
spontaneous for a change.

79
00:03:35,855 --> 00:03:38,481
Yeah, I just… I just…
I wouldn't know what to say.

80
00:03:38,565 --> 00:03:41,442
-And besides, I'm a married man.
-Oh, Niles, please.

81
00:03:41,526 --> 00:03:43,528
When will you get rid
of that tired old excuse,

82
00:03:43,612 --> 00:03:47,072
your off-again, off-again
relationship with Maris? Come on.

83
00:03:47,156 --> 00:03:49,575
Hello, ladies. Excuse me.

84
00:03:49,659 --> 00:03:52,828
Would you mind terribly if we joined
you until another table opens up?

85
00:03:52,912 --> 00:03:54,496
Oh, please do.

86
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:57,373
Oh, thank you so much. That's very kind.

87
00:03:57,457 --> 00:04:02,045
I'm Frasier, and this gentleman dusting
for fingerprints is my brother, Niles.

88
00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:05,088
I'm Laura, and this is Beth.

89
00:04:05,172 --> 00:04:06,506
-Hello.
-Nice to meet you.

90
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,885
Laura. Niles. Beth. Niles.

91
00:04:09,969 --> 00:04:12,429
What do you two ladies do?

92
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,764
Oh, you don't wanna hear about it.

93
00:04:15,848 --> 00:04:16,974
-Well…
-Why don't we?

94
00:04:17,058 --> 00:04:19,727
Oh, it's just boring. To the guys, anyway.

95
00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:23,272
Their eyes just glaze over
when the subject comes up.

96
00:04:23,356 --> 00:04:24,564
Oh, come on, come on.

97
00:04:24,648 --> 00:04:26,482
We're not your average
bozos off the street.

98
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,651
Why don't you try us.

99
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,071
We design kitchens.

100
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,908
On the contrary, I am always
ready to debate the merits

101
00:04:35,992 --> 00:04:40,037
of down draught cooktops
and ceramic-tile backsplashes.

102
00:04:40,121 --> 00:04:43,623
Whoa. Whose little boy are you? Ha!

103
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,249
As in just the mention

104
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:48,753
of a double-bowl stainless-steel
sink with integral drainboards

105
00:04:48,837 --> 00:04:52,298
makes me hum like a subzero freezer.

106
00:04:53,674 --> 00:04:57,344
You know, I think the key
to a good kitchen is comfort.

107
00:04:57,428 --> 00:05:00,722
Well, that's a whole current trend,
a living-room feel in the kitchen.

108
00:05:00,806 --> 00:05:02,390
Except, of course, with our father,

109
00:05:02,474 --> 00:05:05,101
who favors a kitchen
feel in the living room.

110
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,354
That's funny.

111
00:05:09,897 --> 00:05:11,983
You're very witty.

112
00:05:13,066 --> 00:05:14,275
Thank you.

113
00:05:14,359 --> 00:05:16,611
-Look, Niles, a table's opened up.
-No, don't. Stay.

114
00:05:16,695 --> 00:05:18,404
Yeah, this is fun.

115
00:05:18,488 --> 00:05:20,823
Well, yes, it is fun, isn't it, Niles?

116
00:05:20,907 --> 00:05:22,867
Well, I told you it would be.

117
00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:25,785
Why don't I go get us some coffees.

118
00:05:26,037 --> 00:05:29,790
Uh, you know. I, uh… I, uh…

119
00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:32,876
I'll help.

120
00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:35,336
I knew you'd panic.

121
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:37,964
Well, I'm sorry.
This is still a little new for me.

122
00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:40,132
And besides, those
two are coming on to us.

123
00:05:40,216 --> 00:05:42,592
-You know, they are very attractive.
-I know.

124
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,470
Maybe we should ask them out.

125
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,806
On a date? We just met.

126
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,808
Good point, Niles. Perhaps we should
go out with them a few more times

127
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,935
before we ask them on a date.

128
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,896
I just mean it seems a little rash.

129
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,023
Well, that's exactly why we should do it.

130
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,150
We're being spontaneous today.
It will do us good.

131
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,443
I am enjoying this, and…

132
00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:04,988
All right, I'll do it. Oh, but wait!

133
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:06,698
We're making an assumption here.

134
00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:08,825
We could both be interested
in the same woman.

135
00:06:08,909 --> 00:06:10,701
Good Lord, I hadn't thought of that.

136
00:06:10,785 --> 00:06:12,369
All right, I'll declare

137
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,788
I'm interested in Beth.

138
00:06:14,872 --> 00:06:16,999
Good, good.
We really dodged a bullet there.

139
00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:20,126
-Oh, which one's Beth?
-Oh, it's this one here.

140
00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:21,878
-Great!
-Okay.

141
00:06:25,048 --> 00:06:27,383
-And here we are.
-Yeah.

142
00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:29,884
Oh, Frasier, what a great apartment.

143
00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:32,554
Well, it's just a little
something I threw together.

144
00:06:32,638 --> 00:06:35,641
You know, an <i>objet</i>
here, an antique there.

145
00:06:37,101 --> 00:06:39,560
And there's the chair.

146
00:06:39,644 --> 00:06:42,187
Wow, he wasn't kidding.

147
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,522
-Oh, hi!
-Dad.

148
00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:47,026
Dad, meet Beth Armstrong and Laura Paris.

149
00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,359
-Martin Crane.
-How are you?

150
00:06:48,443 --> 00:06:50,153
Please have a seat. Sit down. Yeah.

151
00:06:50,237 --> 00:06:53,072
So you've been out on a double date, huh?

152
00:06:53,156 --> 00:06:54,532
Well, sort of.

153
00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:56,659
We met this afternoon,
and the next thing we knew,

154
00:06:56,743 --> 00:07:00,037
your sons were taking us out to
dinner and then to the Seattle Rep.

155
00:07:00,121 --> 00:07:02,039
-What'd you see?
-<i>The Man Who Came to Dinner.</i>

156
00:07:02,123 --> 00:07:05,042
It's about a bad-tempered invalid
that moves into these people's house

157
00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:07,419
and just drives them crazy.

158
00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:11,422
-Comedy?
-I used to think so.

159
00:07:11,881 --> 00:07:13,174
Well, Mr. Smart-aleck,

160
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,885
as a matter of fact, I was
just about to do a favor for you.

161
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,428
Sherry and I can't make it to
the mountains this weekend,

162
00:07:18,512 --> 00:07:21,514
and the cabin's already paid for.
I thought maybe you'd like to use it.

163
00:07:21,598 --> 00:07:22,974
Oh, thank you, Dad.

164
00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,393
But Laura and I have
plans to go to the symphony.

165
00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:26,894
How about you, Niles?

166
00:07:26,978 --> 00:07:28,645
Beth and I are attending an art opening.

167
00:07:28,729 --> 00:07:30,439
Well, if you hear of anybody…

168
00:07:30,523 --> 00:07:31,815
Nice meeting you, ladies.

169
00:07:31,899 --> 00:07:33,817
I'm really glad the boys brought you over.

170
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:36,701
And it's been a long time
since I said that and meant it.

171
00:07:38,446 --> 00:07:42,116
Well, Dad wasn't really thrilled
with the women we married.

172
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,328
Yes. Fortunately, my taste
has improved a lot since then.

173
00:07:45,412 --> 00:07:47,120
I think your taste is fabulous.

174
00:07:47,204 --> 00:07:50,124
I'm referring to the brandy, of course.

175
00:07:50,499 --> 00:07:53,126
Velvety texture, great body.

176
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:55,045
I'm not.

177
00:07:56,254 --> 00:07:59,966
Well, in honor of what
happened today, a toast.

178
00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:01,926
To winging it.

179
00:08:03,928 --> 00:08:07,764
What greater thrill is there than
going down an unknown path,

180
00:08:07,848 --> 00:08:09,933
not quite sure where it will lead.

181
00:08:10,017 --> 00:08:14,062
Just enjoying the way that path wends and…

182
00:08:14,146 --> 00:08:15,729
-And, uh…
-Uh-huh.

183
00:08:15,813 --> 00:08:20,651
And what it looks like and…
And where it goes off to, uh…

184
00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:24,529
Perhaps you should have
left a trail of bread crumbs

185
00:08:24,613 --> 00:08:26,363
before you started down that toast.

186
00:08:30,452 --> 00:08:33,162
You know, Frasier, I hate to see
you miss a weekend in the country

187
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,497
just to take me to the symphony.
We can go next week.

188
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,374
Wait a minute. I have a thought.

189
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,668
Spirit of spontaneity
has carried us this far.

190
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,545
Why don't we postpone our plans

191
00:08:41,629 --> 00:08:44,172
and all go to the cabin
together this weekend.

192
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:48,134
-I'd love that.
-Sounds like fun.

193
00:08:48,635 --> 00:08:50,594
Well, then, it's settled.

194
00:08:50,678 --> 00:08:53,639
Saturday morning we ride the high country.

195
00:08:54,139 --> 00:08:55,890
Say, you two have been here five minutes,

196
00:08:55,974 --> 00:08:57,559
you haven't seen Frasier's kitchen yet.

197
00:08:57,643 --> 00:09:00,728
-There's really nothing special…
-Let's let the professionals judge.

198
00:09:00,812 --> 00:09:03,647
-I am kind of curious to take a peek.
-Well, peek away. Peek away.

199
00:09:03,731 --> 00:09:08,819
Yes, someday, when you speak of his
faux-granite countertops, and you will,

200
00:09:09,237 --> 00:09:11,113
be kind.

201
00:09:11,656 --> 00:09:14,199
You are so funny.

202
00:09:16,117 --> 00:09:19,412
-What's going on?
-Well, things are going rather fast.

203
00:09:19,496 --> 00:09:21,372
Just going out this
evening was a big step,

204
00:09:21,456 --> 00:09:23,456
but something that
involves packing a suitcase,

205
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,417
-and given my situation, I can't…
-Niles.

206
00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:27,711
When are you gonna stop
letting Maris be an anchor?

207
00:09:27,795 --> 00:09:30,046
That's the most tortured
metaphor you've come up with.

208
00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:32,464
-Maris, an anchor?
-Oh, please, Niles.

209
00:09:32,548 --> 00:09:34,675
Well, the woman is light
weight, for God's sake.

210
00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:37,009
Oh, just stop it.
You're changing the subject.

211
00:09:37,303 --> 00:09:39,471
This afternoon, for
the first time in your life,

212
00:09:39,555 --> 00:09:41,764
a perfectly lovely woman
whom you don't even know

213
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,559
has agreed to go away
with you on a weekend.

214
00:09:44,977 --> 00:09:48,177
Isn't that exactly the kind of
scenario you've always dreamed of?

215
00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:51,941
Yes.

216
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,863
And if you pass it
up, won't you regret it?

217
00:09:57,947 --> 00:09:59,782
Yes.

218
00:10:00,407 --> 00:10:05,620
Well, then, for once in
your timid, risk-free life,

219
00:10:05,704 --> 00:10:08,748
don't you think it's time you
grabbed for that brass ring?

220
00:10:08,832 --> 00:10:10,332
It's a great kitchen, Frasier.

221
00:10:10,416 --> 00:10:12,500
You guys feel like firing
up the cappuccino maker?

222
00:10:12,584 --> 00:10:14,003
Yes!

223
00:10:16,422 --> 00:10:20,322
Of course, if I have that much caffeine
at this hour, it'll probably be… Yes!

224
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:29,265
FRASIER: Ah, there we are.

225
00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:31,017
After you, ladies.

226
00:10:31,101 --> 00:10:33,770
Oh, this place is perfect.

227
00:10:33,854 --> 00:10:37,607
And don't you just love this air?
Oh, I am going to sleep like a baby.

228
00:10:37,691 --> 00:10:39,024
Me too.

229
00:10:39,108 --> 00:10:41,568
Jeez, I hope you two
don't mind roughing it.

230
00:10:41,652 --> 00:10:43,445
There's no radio or television.

231
00:10:43,529 --> 00:10:46,406
Well, I guess we'll just have
to make our own entertainment.

232
00:10:46,490 --> 00:10:50,040
We should be able to manage that.
Come on, let's go look around outside.

233
00:10:50,744 --> 00:10:52,620
We'll start the fire,
and we'll be right out.

234
00:10:52,704 --> 00:10:54,997
-Yes.
-BETH: Okay.

235
00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:57,750
Well, Niles, I think things are
going rather well, don't you?

236
00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,460
Yes, they are, and thank
you for twisting my arm.

237
00:11:00,544 --> 00:11:02,045
Feel like a new man, do you?

238
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,338
I feel like a new woman,

239
00:11:03,422 --> 00:11:05,716
and thank God I remembered to pack one.

240
00:11:09,344 --> 00:11:12,972
You know, I just wish I were sure
that Beth and I were on the same page.

241
00:11:13,056 --> 00:11:14,974
I've forgotten how
to read all the signals.

242
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:17,642
Niles, you don't need a decoder
ring to understand the phrase

243
00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:20,854
-"make our own entertainment."
-I know.

244
00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:24,774
Then again, there was that other
statement about sleeping like a baby.

245
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:27,734
Exactly. They could be thinking platonic.

246
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:30,028
The two of them in one
room sleeping like babies.

247
00:11:30,112 --> 00:11:33,324
The two of us in
another crying like babies.

248
00:11:34,325 --> 00:11:35,909
Well, we're all adults.

249
00:11:35,993 --> 00:11:38,577
I suppose we could just ask
them what they have in mind.

250
00:11:38,661 --> 00:11:41,080
That'd be the worst thing we could do.
What if they're not interested?

251
00:11:41,164 --> 00:11:43,833
Then we'd all be embarrassed.
It would ruin the entire weekend.

252
00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:46,835
I know. Their luggage will tell us.

253
00:11:47,753 --> 00:11:52,382
We'll put my bag in with your
date's and your bag in with my date's.

254
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:53,758
They'll see the mistake.

255
00:11:53,842 --> 00:11:55,427
-Right.
-How they correct it will tell

256
00:11:55,511 --> 00:11:58,262
with whom they were planning to
spend the night, each other or us.

257
00:11:58,346 --> 00:12:00,681
And either way, it'll all look
like a misunderstanding.

258
00:12:00,765 --> 00:12:02,892
You've done this before!

259
00:12:04,352 --> 00:12:07,104
Only on my honeymoon. Now, hurry.

260
00:12:07,687 --> 00:12:11,399
Niles, this is idiotic.
We're both trained psychiatrists.

261
00:12:11,483 --> 00:12:13,527
Yes, and finally it's paying off.

262
00:12:14,528 --> 00:12:17,070
-Oh, Frasier, this place is heaven.
-FRASIER: Yes.

263
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:21,074
Why don't we open up a bottle
of wine and watch the sunset?

264
00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:24,577
You know, the sun won't
be setting for a little while yet.

265
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:29,206
Just think how much more we'll enjoy
it if we got all our unpacking done first.

266
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,042
Oh, that can wait.

267
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,336
By the way, Beth and I were talking,

268
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,672
and I don't know what you
guys had in mind for tonight,

269
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:39,507
and sorry if this sounds kind of forward,

270
00:12:39,591 --> 00:12:42,427
but we would like to avoid an
awkward, uncomfortable situation

271
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:45,096
by getting this out in the open right now.

272
00:12:46,013 --> 00:12:49,183
When we go out to
dinner tonight, it's on us.

273
00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:52,227
Oh.

274
00:12:52,311 --> 00:12:55,772
-Well, that's awfully nice of you.
-Very. Yes.

275
00:12:56,231 --> 00:13:00,943
Um, speaking of awkwardness…
Um, uh, you know…

276
00:13:01,027 --> 00:13:02,821
Look at that sunset.

277
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,117
-Are you as crazed by this as I am?
-It's driving me out of my mind.

278
00:13:09,201 --> 00:13:11,620
All right then.
We're gonna settle this once and for all.

279
00:13:11,704 --> 00:13:13,455
Now, just follow my lead.

280
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:21,379
Yes, that is lovely, isn't it?

281
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:27,801
It's magnificent.

282
00:13:46,902 --> 00:13:48,361
Not feeling so hot, huh?

283
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,864
What'd the doctor say?

284
00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:54,241
He says I've got…

285
00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:57,119
Oh, what was that medical term he used?

286
00:13:57,411 --> 00:14:00,331
Oh, I remember… Flu.

287
00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:05,126
God, I'm really sorry I
didn't let you get that flu shot.

288
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,962
Is there anything at
all that I can do for you?

289
00:14:08,046 --> 00:14:11,131
Well, when I was a
little girl and got sick,

290
00:14:11,215 --> 00:14:13,550
Grammy Moon used to read me to sleep.

291
00:14:13,634 --> 00:14:15,468
-It was a great comfort.
-Oh.

292
00:14:15,552 --> 00:14:17,554
-Is this what you're reading?
-Mm-hmm.

293
00:14:18,138 --> 00:14:20,180
<i>The Rose and the Rapier?</i>

294
00:14:20,264 --> 00:14:23,809
Well, if you're not in the mood…

295
00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:25,352
[BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY]

296
00:14:25,436 --> 00:14:27,438
[COUGHS]

297
00:14:30,315 --> 00:14:33,109
-…you don't have to.
-No, no, I'll do it.

298
00:14:33,527 --> 00:14:36,613
-The bookmark's where I left off.
-All right.

299
00:14:37,197 --> 00:14:42,826
Okay.
"With a gasp of dismay, she ran to him,

300
00:14:42,910 --> 00:14:46,288
"her amethyst eyes wide with alarm."

301
00:14:46,372 --> 00:14:50,332
" 'You fool,' she hissed,
'suppose someone saw you?"

302
00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:53,503
The duke's men are everywhere.' "

303
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,047
This isn't so bad.

304
00:14:56,589 --> 00:14:57,673
Told you.

305
00:14:57,757 --> 00:15:02,761
" 'You fool,' she whispered again,
'you sweet, brave, wonderful fool.

306
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:06,097
I should have died had you
not found my bed chamber.' "

307
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:08,266
Oh, jeez.

308
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:17,941
"Then she was in his arms, and
all her qualms forgotten as she…

309
00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:25,990
"…tore his tunic asunder and"

310
00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:33,074
"thrust her eager lips against
the sinews of his naked chest."

311
00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:40,295
-The next morning…"
-You left out a section.

312
00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:44,507
Okay, okay.

313
00:15:46,341 --> 00:15:52,805
"As his brazen fingers peeled
the silken fabric from her heaving

314
00:15:52,889 --> 00:15:54,850
"bosom…"

315
00:15:59,604 --> 00:16:04,817
"…he beheld her quivering
alabaster mounds."

316
00:16:09,112 --> 00:16:14,450
"At that moment, she felt the
proof of his rampant passion"

317
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:17,745
"against her milky thighs."

318
00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:22,958
"His almost godlike beauty"

319
00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:27,127
"was marred only"

320
00:16:27,211 --> 00:16:29,422
by the fact that he was…"

321
00:16:29,797 --> 00:16:36,470
Cross-eyed, three feet tall and
had breath like owl droppings.

322
00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,142
Is there anything more relaxing

323
00:16:43,226 --> 00:16:45,435
than just lazing by a
fire with a glass of wine?

324
00:16:45,519 --> 00:16:47,396
Nothing I know of.

325
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,566
You two must be relaxed,
sitting there so calmly

326
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:53,110
when there's still all
that unpacking to do.

327
00:16:55,945 --> 00:16:58,406
Niles, we didn't bring that much.

328
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:01,910
Yeah, we didn't think we'd need
too many clothes this weekend.

329
00:17:03,994 --> 00:17:06,746
Well, I hate to break things
up, but I'm getting a little sleepy,

330
00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:10,083
-so I'm gonna get ready for bed.
-Yeah, it is getting kind of late.

331
00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:12,835
-You finished with that?
-Oh, yes, yes.

332
00:17:15,922 --> 00:17:17,464
Niles.

333
00:17:17,548 --> 00:17:18,882
I can't take this anymore.

334
00:17:18,966 --> 00:17:21,218
These women are as
inscrutable as sphinxes.

335
00:17:21,302 --> 00:17:23,052
Yes. Since we got here, all they've done

336
00:17:23,136 --> 00:17:25,972
is sent us the most veiled,
cloaked, cryptic messages.

337
00:17:26,056 --> 00:17:28,266
Can't they just give us one clear signal?

338
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:31,894
Well, I'm off to bed.
Niles, are you coming?

339
00:17:37,191 --> 00:17:39,777
-Curse these infernal riddles.
-Niles!

340
00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:45,323
So she really said
what I thought she said?

341
00:17:45,407 --> 00:17:47,283
Yes! Go!

342
00:17:47,826 --> 00:17:49,119
Suitcase. Suitcase.

343
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,912
And there you are.

344
00:17:52,996 --> 00:17:54,665
-Sleep well.
-Oh, you too.

345
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:02,964
-BETH: Niles, what are you doing?
-Oh, uh, never mind.

346
00:18:03,297 --> 00:18:05,883
Yes, is Mrs. Crane there? Yes, I'll hold.

347
00:18:05,967 --> 00:18:09,429
What is that, some sort
of weird, kinky foreplay?

348
00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:13,139
-I'm starting to feel guilty about this.
-Now?

349
00:18:13,223 --> 00:18:15,350
I'm sorry, I just need to
clarify the ground rules

350
00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:16,893
of Maris and my separation.

351
00:18:16,977 --> 00:18:18,061
Oh, fine, fine,

352
00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:20,771
I think you may look back on
this one day as your darkest hour,

353
00:18:20,855 --> 00:18:22,857
but you do what you want to.

354
00:18:23,524 --> 00:18:27,319
Yes, Maris.
Uh, It occurred to me, uh, you know,

355
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:31,155
we… we, uh, never laid out the
rules about our dating other people

356
00:18:31,239 --> 00:18:33,908
-and what we could and couldn't…
-Niles, what are you doing?

357
00:18:33,992 --> 00:18:35,660
Coming.

358
00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:38,329
I… Well, no, here, here's the thing.

359
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:40,914
I… I know that we're
allowed to see other people.

360
00:18:40,998 --> 00:18:45,461
Uh, my question is, how much
of them are we allowed to see?

361
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:52,216
Oh, be right with you.

362
00:18:54,302 --> 00:18:56,220
I'm sorry, what?

363
00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:59,138
Oh, really? Oh, well, that's wonderful.

364
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,922
That's, that's, that's all I
needed to know. Thank you.

365
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,315
-Yes?
-You were wrong.

366
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,110
Maris says she doesn't mind at all. Ah!

367
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:16,864
Well, then, off you go.

368
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:21,159
Let the revels begin.

369
00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:42,344
What? What?

370
00:19:42,428 --> 00:19:44,179
Why doesn't Maris mind at all?

371
00:19:44,263 --> 00:19:45,431
LAURA: What's going on?

372
00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:50,017
Nothing. Just a second.
It's Niles. I'll be a moment.

373
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,227
Why do you care?

374
00:19:51,311 --> 00:19:53,438
Well, because she could've
taken a lover herself,

375
00:19:53,522 --> 00:19:55,648
and this is her way
of alleviating her guilt.

376
00:19:55,732 --> 00:19:58,650
Okay, Niles, what do you wanna do?
You wanna stew over that all night?

377
00:19:58,734 --> 00:20:02,028
-Let her have all the fun?
-Well, no. No, of course not.

378
00:20:02,112 --> 00:20:05,615
Well, then, off you go.

379
00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:19,545
FRASIER: Hi.

380
00:20:20,045 --> 00:20:24,048
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

381
00:20:24,132 --> 00:20:27,218
-BETH: Niles?
-Uh, <i>momentito.</i>

382
00:20:28,845 --> 00:20:31,472
Hello. Yes, Maris.

383
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,224
Well, I see, but…

384
00:20:34,516 --> 00:20:36,017
All right.

385
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:43,899
Yes?

386
00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:46,986
-LAURA: Frasier?
-I'll just be a second.

387
00:20:47,987 --> 00:20:51,156
She's changed her mind.
She doesn't want me to go through with it.

388
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,824
Do you realize what's happening here?

389
00:20:52,908 --> 00:20:57,036
Yes. Your ex-wife is ruining my sex life!
Give me that!

390
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,121
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

391
00:20:59,205 --> 00:21:00,915
Could I… Uh, I…

392
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,458
What are you doing?

393
00:21:06,795 --> 00:21:08,964
What… What are you doing?

394
00:21:09,464 --> 00:21:11,716
What if she changed her mind again?
How am I to know?

395
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,926
I am going to say this just one last time.

396
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:18,013
This weekend is not about thinking.
It's about doing.

397
00:21:18,097 --> 00:21:22,475
Doing something that the Crane boys
haven't done for a very, very long time.

398
00:21:23,852 --> 00:21:27,688
For once in our miserable,
sex-starved lives,

399
00:21:27,772 --> 00:21:31,526
can't we do something pleasurable
without thinking it to death?

400
00:21:32,026 --> 00:21:34,611
Don't think about today.
Don't think about what's right.

401
00:21:34,695 --> 00:21:36,488
Don't even think of
them as Laura and Beth.

402
00:21:36,572 --> 00:21:40,992
For tonight, they are just two live,
breathing, available female bodies

403
00:21:41,076 --> 00:21:43,119
who want us!

404
00:21:44,245 --> 00:21:46,205
Think again.

405
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,632
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

406
00:22:01,052 --> 00:22:03,802
Do you remember which snow
bank you threw my phone into?

407
00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:05,830
Oh, I think I could hit it again.

408
00:22:06,223 --> 00:22:08,517
Frasier. Frasier. Frasier!