1 00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:04,377 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:11,675 --> 00:00:15,011 -MARTIN: Oh! Easy. -Sorry. Your neck is tight. 3 00:00:15,095 --> 00:00:17,681 Yeah, well, it's been a tense couple of days. 4 00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:19,182 Holidays will do that to you. 5 00:00:19,266 --> 00:00:22,269 Yeah, well, this has been the worst Christmas ever. 6 00:00:23,062 --> 00:00:24,938 It all started yesterday. 7 00:00:26,315 --> 00:00:28,901 You know the only part about Christmas I don't like? 8 00:00:29,401 --> 00:00:31,111 How quickly it's all over. 9 00:00:31,195 --> 00:00:34,280 Yes, come December 26th… 10 00:00:34,989 --> 00:00:36,490 It's all just a memory. 11 00:00:36,574 --> 00:00:39,744 With nothing but your light decorating touch to remind us. 12 00:00:42,747 --> 00:00:44,456 -Afternoon, all. -FRASIER: Hello, Daphne. 13 00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:47,376 Oh, that's awfully dangerous, Daphne. 14 00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,295 Standing there under that mistletoe. 15 00:00:49,379 --> 00:00:50,797 That's enough eggnog, Niles. 16 00:00:51,673 --> 00:00:53,756 DAPHNE: The oddest thing just happened. 17 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,551 I was walking Eddie past that church over on Chestnut, 18 00:00:56,635 --> 00:00:59,679 and he turned to go inside like he assumed that's where we were going. 19 00:00:59,763 --> 00:01:00,680 FRASIER: That's strange. 20 00:01:00,764 --> 00:01:03,433 He did the same thing with me yesterday when I was walking him. 21 00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:05,476 Any idea why he'd do that, Mr. Crane? 22 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,854 Look, that dog's always doing weird things. 23 00:01:07,938 --> 00:01:10,773 Yesterday we were taking our bath together, 24 00:01:10,857 --> 00:01:12,567 and he spent 15 straight minutes 25 00:01:12,651 --> 00:01:15,277 pushing the soap around with his nose like an otter. 26 00:01:16,529 --> 00:01:17,613 Weird. 27 00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,073 Yes. 28 00:01:20,157 --> 00:01:23,077 If he gets any weirder, we'll have to send Eddie to a home. 29 00:01:24,203 --> 00:01:27,331 Well, I'm off. I've got all my Christmas shopping to do yet. 30 00:01:27,415 --> 00:01:30,542 -All of it? -I'm determined not to settle this year. 31 00:01:30,626 --> 00:01:33,587 I want my gifts to be remembered and cherished long after the holidays. 32 00:01:33,671 --> 00:01:36,130 Well, you know, nothing is cherished quite so much 33 00:01:36,214 --> 00:01:37,923 as the gift of laughter. 34 00:01:38,007 --> 00:01:41,657 If you want Highway Patrol Bloopers, you're gonna have to buy it yourself. 35 00:01:42,637 --> 00:01:45,514 -You're not gonna drink that that way. -Why? 36 00:01:45,598 --> 00:01:48,559 My goodness, the first mistake in eggnog preparation 37 00:01:48,643 --> 00:01:50,436 is failing to garnish it properly 38 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,896 with a dash of nutmeg. 39 00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,648 -Oh. -There we are. 40 00:01:54,898 --> 00:01:57,817 [SHOUTING, GAGGING] 41 00:01:57,901 --> 00:02:01,196 Oh. Of course, the second mistake is placing the paprika 42 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,365 next to the nutmeg on the spice shelf. 43 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:05,992 DAPHNE: Mr. Crane! 44 00:02:06,076 --> 00:02:07,327 Are you all right? 45 00:02:07,411 --> 00:02:09,496 Oh, yes. We're fine, Daphne. 46 00:02:10,414 --> 00:02:12,123 -Are you all right, Dad? -Yeah, I'm fine. 47 00:02:12,207 --> 00:02:14,376 Fras, before you go, can I talk to you for a minute? 48 00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:15,460 Well, sure. What is it? 49 00:02:15,544 --> 00:02:17,836 Well, what Daphne was talking about, uh… 50 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,130 There is a reason Eddie knows that church. 51 00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:21,715 I've been taking him there. 52 00:02:21,799 --> 00:02:24,499 I guess the family that bathes together prays together. 53 00:02:25,094 --> 00:02:27,596 No, there's this priest, Father Curtis. 54 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,058 He got to know Eddie, and he asked if they could use him for the Christmas pageant, 55 00:02:31,142 --> 00:02:31,975 and I said sure. 56 00:02:32,059 --> 00:02:35,437 Well, the next thing I know, he's roped me in to play a shepherd. 57 00:02:35,521 --> 00:02:37,939 Well, then Dutch Gansvort comes down with bronchitis 58 00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:39,607 and I get promoted to a wise man. 59 00:02:39,691 --> 00:02:43,737 Dad, is there a point to this story looming somewhere on the horizon? 60 00:02:45,071 --> 00:02:47,073 As a wise man, I have to sing a song. 61 00:02:47,157 --> 00:02:49,492 I said that was fine, but the song's a killer. 62 00:02:49,576 --> 00:02:52,286 -I'm gonna humiliate myself. -Maybe you just need a little rehearsal. 63 00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:54,914 -Why don't we work on it tonight? -You think that would help? 64 00:02:54,998 --> 00:02:57,833 You're a good singer, just a little rusty. We'll start around 8? 65 00:02:57,917 --> 00:02:59,835 -Great. -You know, I am a good singer. 66 00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:03,669 Remember those family picnics when I used to belt out "What's New Pussycat?" 67 00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:08,552 -We'll start around 7:00, then. -Oh. 68 00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,387 FRASIER: Niles, hold the elevator. 69 00:03:13,307 --> 00:03:14,725 ["O CHRISTMAS TREE" PLAYING ON PIANO] 70 00:03:14,809 --> 00:03:17,477 Hey, boys, this is that song I was telling you about. 71 00:03:17,561 --> 00:03:19,353 "O Holy Night." Do you know it? 72 00:03:19,437 --> 00:03:21,397 Well, of course, Dad, it's a classic. 73 00:03:21,481 --> 00:03:23,899 My God, it all builds to that one glorious note: 74 00:03:23,983 --> 00:03:26,527 ♪ O night ♪ 75 00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:30,114 ♪ Divine ♪ 76 00:03:30,198 --> 00:03:31,031 ♪ O night… ♪ 77 00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:33,284 Yes, yes, that's the note I can't hit. 78 00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:34,994 I practice in my room 79 00:03:35,078 --> 00:03:37,628 and Eddie ends up burying his head under the pillow. 80 00:03:38,081 --> 00:03:40,832 -Don't worry, we'll get you there. -Can we just get this done? 81 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,917 I wanna get it finished before Daphne gets back. 82 00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:44,669 I don't want her to know about this, 83 00:03:44,753 --> 00:03:46,504 or she'll insist on coming down to the pageant, 84 00:03:46,588 --> 00:03:48,590 -and I'm nervous enough as it is. -Fine. 85 00:03:48,674 --> 00:03:50,508 Let's see what we have to work with. 86 00:03:50,592 --> 00:03:53,428 Why don't you start here, with "O night…" 87 00:03:53,512 --> 00:03:55,847 And I want to hear you really attack the note. 88 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,516 Okay. [CLEARS THROAT] 89 00:03:58,183 --> 00:04:02,979 ♪ O night when Christ was born ♪ 90 00:04:03,563 --> 00:04:05,606 ♪ O night ♪ 91 00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:09,819 [SCREECHING] ♪ Divine ♪ 92 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:18,535 Sometimes the note sees the attack coming and retreats. 93 00:04:18,619 --> 00:04:19,996 [BANGING ON CEILING] 94 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:22,538 Shut up! 95 00:04:22,622 --> 00:04:25,708 This bozo upstairs, he bangs on the floor every time I sing. 96 00:04:25,792 --> 00:04:26,959 Well, just ignore him, Dad. 97 00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:31,297 I tell you what, Dad, there is another vocal exercise I remember. 98 00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:33,925 It was very useful to me when I was singing Colonel Fairfax 99 00:04:34,009 --> 00:04:35,510 in Yeomen of the Guard. 100 00:04:35,594 --> 00:04:38,137 You see, the principle is to distract yourself 101 00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:40,891 with a physical exercise, thus freeing the voice. 102 00:04:41,808 --> 00:04:42,849 You'll hit one note, 103 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,392 then you slide up the octave 104 00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,728 as you descend slowly into a crouch position. 105 00:04:46,812 --> 00:04:47,688 Observe. 106 00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:52,234 [SINGING GLISSANDO] 107 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:55,487 You see? It works. 108 00:04:55,571 --> 00:04:58,406 That's very interesting. I wonder if the reverse is true. 109 00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:01,911 [BOTH SINGING GLISSANDI] 110 00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:09,834 Try it, Dad. 111 00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:13,018 No, I'm afraid with three of us doing it, it might look stupid. 112 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:17,383 I'm starting to think your problem's all psychological. 113 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,844 No, you've convinced yourself you can't hit this note. 114 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,595 Yeah, I convinced the guy upstairs too. 115 00:05:21,679 --> 00:05:24,222 I think Niles may be right. You need positive reinforcement. 116 00:05:24,306 --> 00:05:26,307 Let's try it again, and this time, 117 00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:28,560 try to eliminate any negative thoughts. 118 00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:30,645 -Okay. -Let's go a little earlier, Niles. 119 00:05:30,729 --> 00:05:33,106 -"Fall on your knees." -"Fall on your knees." 120 00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:36,568 ♪ Fall on your knees ♪ 121 00:05:36,652 --> 00:05:37,652 You've got it, Dad. 122 00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,279 ♪ Oh, hear ♪ 123 00:05:39,363 --> 00:05:40,530 I hear sweet music. 124 00:05:40,614 --> 00:05:42,282 ♪ The angel voices ♪ 125 00:05:42,366 --> 00:05:43,658 I hear one angel. 126 00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:44,575 ♪ O night ♪ 127 00:05:44,659 --> 00:05:45,826 FRASIER: Lovely night. 128 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:46,743 ♪ Divine ♪ 129 00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,412 Something's divine. 130 00:05:48,496 --> 00:05:49,872 -♪ O night ♪ -Yeah, Dad. 131 00:05:49,956 --> 00:05:51,582 ♪ When Christ was born ♪ 132 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:53,083 A star is born! 133 00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:54,334 ♪ O night ♪ 134 00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:55,669 Bring it home now. 135 00:05:55,753 --> 00:05:59,548 [SCREECHING] ♪ Divine! ♪ 136 00:06:02,802 --> 00:06:05,512 -[BANGING ON CEILING] -ALL: Oh, shut up! 137 00:06:08,598 --> 00:06:10,308 Your shoulders are awfully tight. 138 00:06:10,392 --> 00:06:13,061 [SCOFFS] It's been a stressful few days. 139 00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,021 I'd be happy to listen. 140 00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:16,189 Oh, no. 141 00:06:18,358 --> 00:06:20,527 Well, it started yesterday. 142 00:06:21,194 --> 00:06:23,071 I had something on my mind. 143 00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:26,948 Lucky for me, Dr. Crane's brother was over. 144 00:06:27,032 --> 00:06:29,410 He's always been such a good friend to me. 145 00:06:31,495 --> 00:06:33,371 -Afternoon, all. -ALL: Hello, Daphne. 146 00:06:33,455 --> 00:06:37,417 That's awfully dangerous, Daphne, standing under that mistletoe. 147 00:06:37,501 --> 00:06:39,169 A piece could fall into your eye. 148 00:06:39,837 --> 00:06:41,671 Let me freshen your drink, Niles. 149 00:06:41,755 --> 00:06:43,173 Thank you, Dr. Crane. 150 00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:44,925 The oddest thing just happened. 151 00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:47,885 I was walking Eddie past that church over on Chestnut, 152 00:06:47,969 --> 00:06:50,888 and he turned to go inside like he assumed that's where we were going. 153 00:06:50,972 --> 00:06:52,222 That's strange. 154 00:06:52,306 --> 00:06:55,006 He did the same thing yesterday when I was walking him. 155 00:06:55,518 --> 00:06:58,062 Any idea why he'd do that, Mr. Crane? 156 00:06:58,146 --> 00:06:58,980 Nope. 157 00:06:59,564 --> 00:07:00,898 Dogs are weird. 158 00:07:06,779 --> 00:07:08,404 You know, that worries me a bit. 159 00:07:08,488 --> 00:07:09,614 What does? 160 00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:12,116 Well, I think your father's been going to that church. 161 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,826 I had an uncle who did the same thing. 162 00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:15,870 He had no interest in church his whole life, 163 00:07:15,954 --> 00:07:17,497 then he started going every day. 164 00:07:17,581 --> 00:07:20,625 Turns out he had some bad health news from his doctor. 165 00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:22,210 He didn't even last a year. 166 00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:24,545 Well, first of all, I can see you're upset, 167 00:07:24,629 --> 00:07:25,505 so come here. 168 00:07:28,675 --> 00:07:30,175 Thank you, Dr. Crane. 169 00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:31,885 You're always so supportive. 170 00:07:31,969 --> 00:07:34,638 And second of all, I think you're worrying over nothing. 171 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,099 I've never known my father to have so much as a hangnail 172 00:07:37,183 --> 00:07:38,850 without letting everyone know about it. 173 00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:39,893 That's true. 174 00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:42,938 Maybe I just got myself worked up remembering my uncle John. 175 00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:45,524 Look at you. Just saying his name gets you upset. Come here. 176 00:07:45,608 --> 00:07:47,317 -Well, I'm fine. -No, no, you need a hug. 177 00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:48,235 Well, all right. 178 00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:53,447 [MARTIN HACKING] 179 00:07:53,531 --> 00:07:54,490 Mr. Crane! 180 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:55,867 Are you all right? 181 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,578 We're fine, Daphne. 182 00:08:01,539 --> 00:08:03,165 See? Nothing to worry about. 183 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,667 Well, I have got to run. 184 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,168 Hold the elevator, Niles. 185 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,379 -We'll see you soon, Daphne. -DAPHNE: Bye. 186 00:08:08,463 --> 00:08:09,922 Oh, and, uh, Dad, 187 00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:11,507 listen, don't worry. 188 00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:12,925 We'll… 189 00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:15,969 Niles and I will be there for you. 190 00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:20,182 What's that about? 191 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,309 Oh, never mind. 192 00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,477 Well, I gotta go lie down. 193 00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:29,399 Mr. Crane? Did you ever call Dr. Stewart for the results of your physical? 194 00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,359 Oh, sure, yeah. A couple of days ago. 195 00:08:32,401 --> 00:08:33,903 I'm… fine. 196 00:08:34,487 --> 00:08:35,613 Come on, Eddie. 197 00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:41,035 DAPHNE: Is everything all right? 198 00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:42,745 Oh, yeah. 199 00:08:43,412 --> 00:08:45,581 It's just all over so fast. 200 00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:53,087 DAPHNE: Well, that was enough to convince me I was right. 201 00:08:53,171 --> 00:08:56,257 And the next 24 hours were a living hell. 202 00:08:56,341 --> 00:08:58,259 The worst came the next day. 203 00:08:58,343 --> 00:09:01,095 I'm terrified about this, Father. 204 00:09:01,179 --> 00:09:05,225 All this came around so sudden. I'm… I'm not prepared. 205 00:09:06,935 --> 00:09:10,939 Tell me again what I'm supposed to say when I see Jesus the first time? 206 00:09:15,276 --> 00:09:19,155 Okay. All right. Well, thank you. Yeah, I'll see you soon. Bye. 207 00:09:20,865 --> 00:09:22,574 Oh, hi, Daphne. 208 00:09:22,658 --> 00:09:24,368 -Hello. -Hi. 209 00:09:25,369 --> 00:09:28,497 I'm just so excited about the gift I just got for you, Mr. Crane. 210 00:09:28,581 --> 00:09:30,749 -Oh, great. -Why don't you open it now? 211 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:34,668 Well… to tell you the truth, I don't really have much time. 212 00:09:34,752 --> 00:09:36,003 I'm kind of on my way out. 213 00:09:36,087 --> 00:09:38,422 -[SOBS] -Wait, wait. Okay. All right. 214 00:09:38,506 --> 00:09:40,925 Yeah, I'll open it now. Sure, sure. 215 00:09:41,009 --> 00:09:42,343 Don't wanna get you upset. 216 00:09:42,427 --> 00:09:44,679 You must be really excited about this. 217 00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:48,265 Oh, wow! It's that sweater! 218 00:09:48,349 --> 00:09:51,268 The one I pointed out to you in the window. That's great. 219 00:09:51,352 --> 00:09:53,730 Boy, I can die a happy man now. 220 00:09:54,897 --> 00:09:57,691 Daphne, what's the matter? Are you all right? 221 00:09:58,358 --> 00:10:00,110 [SOBBING] Oh, Mr. Crane. 222 00:10:00,194 --> 00:10:03,071 I know why you've been going down to that church. 223 00:10:03,155 --> 00:10:05,365 You do? You're not supposed to know about that. 224 00:10:05,449 --> 00:10:09,494 -But why is it making you so upset? -Because I care about you. 225 00:10:09,578 --> 00:10:11,996 You were actually going to let this whole thing happen 226 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,498 without ever telling a soul? 227 00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:14,499 Well, yes. 228 00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,625 I don't want people staring at me in that church, 229 00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:19,003 stiff as a board, all that makeup on my face. 230 00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:24,675 So… 231 00:10:25,384 --> 00:10:27,136 How much time have you got? 232 00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,096 About 20 minutes. 233 00:10:31,724 --> 00:10:33,350 -Twenty minutes? -Yeah. 234 00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,477 And, boy, will I be glad when it's over. 235 00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:38,312 This is the last Christmas pageant I'm ever signing up for. 236 00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:40,273 You're in a Christmas pageant? 237 00:10:40,357 --> 00:10:42,108 What did you think I was talking about? 238 00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:44,652 -I thought you were dying! -What? 239 00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:48,486 You just got your test results back, you're down at the church all the time. 240 00:10:49,574 --> 00:10:51,742 -Why are you laughing? -Well, that's funny. 241 00:10:51,826 --> 00:10:56,038 -I don't think it's so bloody funny. -Are you kidding? [GAGS] I'm dying! 242 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,290 You will be! 243 00:10:57,374 --> 00:10:58,999 What are you… Daphne, don't do that. 244 00:10:59,083 --> 00:11:01,334 Don't you tell me what to do! I was worried sick! 245 00:11:01,418 --> 00:11:03,003 What kind of a house were you brought up in? 246 00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,130 DAPHNE: I don't know why you have to keep secrets. 247 00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:08,258 This isn't the North of England. You don't go throwing furniture at me. 248 00:11:08,342 --> 00:11:11,892 -This is decent stuff. It's not the sort… -Oh, I don't care about… 249 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,172 MASSEUR: You can talk about it, if you like. 250 00:11:15,516 --> 00:11:18,143 Oh, I'm not ready just yet. 251 00:11:23,773 --> 00:11:24,857 Oh… 252 00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:29,486 I can't tell you how good that feels. 253 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:32,364 I don't think I've ever had a massage like this before. 254 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,116 Well, I'm glad. 255 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,493 As long as you're so relaxed, 256 00:11:36,577 --> 00:11:39,627 maybe I should just give you your Christmas present right now. 257 00:11:42,332 --> 00:11:44,334 [NILES GROANING] 258 00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:46,920 Ow. 259 00:11:47,504 --> 00:11:49,380 -You woke me up! -Sorry. 260 00:11:49,464 --> 00:11:51,633 Guess this ankle is a bit tender. 261 00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:56,554 Well, yours would be too if you'd had the day I had. 262 00:11:56,638 --> 00:11:58,973 I'd gone out to do some shopping. 263 00:11:59,057 --> 00:12:01,141 Then I arrived at Frasier's building. 264 00:12:01,225 --> 00:12:02,684 Excuse me. 265 00:12:02,768 --> 00:12:04,478 Sorry. I don't mean to crowd you. 266 00:12:04,562 --> 00:12:07,105 This is a brand-new hand-tailored Italian suit. 267 00:12:07,189 --> 00:12:09,566 You know how difficult it is to get sap out of silk. 268 00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:11,735 Another reason we didn't need this tree. 269 00:12:11,819 --> 00:12:12,903 Oh, Albert. 270 00:12:13,612 --> 00:12:15,656 This thing's a fire hazard. 271 00:12:16,407 --> 00:12:19,910 They make a chemical now that you can use to fireproof a tree. 272 00:12:20,494 --> 00:12:21,745 It causes cancer. 273 00:12:23,038 --> 00:12:24,247 Happy holidays, then. 274 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:26,207 [ELEVATOR CLUNKS] 275 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,084 What just happened? 276 00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:30,002 I think the elevator stopped. 277 00:12:30,086 --> 00:12:32,338 Not to worry. I'm sure we'll get it going in a moment. 278 00:12:32,422 --> 00:12:35,967 We've probably got about 20 minutes of oxygen. 279 00:12:36,885 --> 00:12:38,803 Sir, you're just going to alarm everyone. 280 00:12:38,887 --> 00:12:40,304 -I work in an ER. -Ah. 281 00:12:40,388 --> 00:12:43,890 Perhaps you can instruct these people on the best way to stay cool in a crisis. 282 00:12:43,974 --> 00:12:46,393 I was on duty that night the elevator cable snapped 283 00:12:46,477 --> 00:12:47,727 at the Bing building. 284 00:12:47,811 --> 00:12:50,313 They brought those people in on cookie sheets. 285 00:12:50,397 --> 00:12:52,107 [BUTTON CLICKING] 286 00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:56,027 Uh, hello? Is anyone there? 287 00:12:56,111 --> 00:12:57,445 MAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Yeah. Who is it? 288 00:12:57,529 --> 00:12:59,739 There's a group of us stuck in one of your elevators. 289 00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:03,659 The doors won't open, and we can't seem to move off the eighth floor. 290 00:13:03,743 --> 00:13:05,536 All right. Where are you calling from, sir? 291 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,162 The Elliott Bay Towers. 292 00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:08,747 Both my crews are out. 293 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,208 Could be a good hour and a half before I can get anybody there. 294 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,334 I can't wait that long. 295 00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:14,753 My children are alone upstairs in the apartment. 296 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:18,007 You haven't got a gas oven up there, have you? 297 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:22,052 There is another way. If somebody felt like climbing 298 00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:23,845 through the trapdoor on top of your car, 299 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:27,515 there's a manual-release switch up there that would open up your doors. 300 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,977 That's what we've gotta do, then. Somebody's gotta go up there. 301 00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:33,646 That's a pretty small opening. 302 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,065 I have more confidence in your wife than you do. 303 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,360 Step this way, ma'am. I'll give you a leg up. 304 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,029 It has to be you. 305 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:44,406 Well… I… How do you expect me to get up there? 306 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,825 -You could climb up the tree. -Oh, come on. 307 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,661 Surely you climbed plenty of trees when you were a boy. 308 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,663 It's Dr. Crane's brother. 309 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,790 BOTH: Oh. 310 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,003 Fine. 311 00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,797 I suppose in times of crisis, 312 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,883 someone must step forward and be a hero. 313 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,634 Today that man is Niles Crane. 314 00:14:05,718 --> 00:14:08,680 Tomorrow it will be my dry cleaner, Mr. Lee. 315 00:14:13,476 --> 00:14:16,354 All right, come on, now. Grab his feet and we'll push him through. 316 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,857 -NILES: No, no, wait. Not so fast! -[THUD] 317 00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:23,069 Well, not to worry. I landed in a nice soft puddle of grease. 318 00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:27,421 I just have to find the release switch. Bear with me. 319 00:14:29,908 --> 00:14:31,858 -Quick. -NILES: Did that do anything? 320 00:14:34,788 --> 00:14:35,622 People? 321 00:14:36,707 --> 00:14:38,125 Lady with my coat? 322 00:14:41,587 --> 00:14:42,921 Where'd you all go? 323 00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:48,926 [RETREATING VOICE] Oh, my God! We're going up! 324 00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:50,261 Someone stop this thing! 325 00:14:50,928 --> 00:14:52,096 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 326 00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,061 Ow. 327 00:15:01,898 --> 00:15:03,399 Why is that man crawling? 328 00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:04,858 That's Dr. Crane's brother. 329 00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:05,860 Oh. 330 00:15:07,278 --> 00:15:09,320 NILES: I was slightly shaken by what I had done, 331 00:15:09,404 --> 00:15:12,949 but I'd completely composed myself as I arrived at Frasier's. 332 00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:14,242 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 333 00:15:14,326 --> 00:15:15,660 But it was some time later 334 00:15:15,744 --> 00:15:17,662 before I was able to tell him what had happened. 335 00:15:17,746 --> 00:15:21,332 Of course, I have no idea what you use to get elevator grease out of silk. 336 00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:24,419 Well, brown suede seems to be leaching it out nicely. 337 00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:27,047 [DOORBELL RINGS] 338 00:15:27,631 --> 00:15:30,966 Anyway, no Christmas is complete without a bit of tumult, 339 00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:34,928 but now we can all relax and enjoy a lovely holiday evening together. 340 00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:36,555 Merry Christmas. 341 00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:38,098 [GLASS SHATTERS] 342 00:15:41,227 --> 00:15:43,895 -You sure you wanna hear about this? -Why not? 343 00:15:43,979 --> 00:15:44,813 Okay. 344 00:15:45,439 --> 00:15:47,357 I've been feeling a little depressed lately 345 00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,151 because I'm putting on all this weight. 346 00:15:49,235 --> 00:15:50,151 I'm pregnant. 347 00:15:50,735 --> 00:15:51,694 Hey, guys. 348 00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:53,028 -Hey, Roz. -Hi, Roz. 349 00:15:53,112 --> 00:15:54,405 -Hi. -That's a nice suit. 350 00:15:54,489 --> 00:15:56,031 Thank you. It's brand-new. 351 00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:58,492 And since you'll probably be ordering food, 352 00:15:58,576 --> 00:16:02,663 I think I will just go rather than risk getting it stained. 353 00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:06,083 What is that supposed to be? A crack about how much I eat? 354 00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,917 Absolutely not. It was a crack about your table manners. 355 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:12,088 Well, I should go too. 356 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,300 Just a couple hours before the pageant, and I need the time to rehearse. 357 00:16:15,384 --> 00:16:18,094 Not to worry, Dad. Come tomorrow, it'll all be a memory. 358 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,637 Yeah, but even after it's all over, 359 00:16:19,721 --> 00:16:22,140 I still have to make peace with the man upstairs. 360 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:29,689 So, Frasier, are you sure we have to do this charity thing this afternoon? 361 00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:32,316 Come on, Roz. It's just an hour out of your life. 362 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,943 Besides, I think you're gonna make an adorable Mrs. Claus. 363 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:38,327 Why? Because now I look so much like her 'cause I've gotten so fat? 364 00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:40,783 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 365 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,619 Hello? 366 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,914 Why, yes, Mrs. Doyle. Yes, she is. 367 00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:49,583 Just a moment. It's your mom. They forwarded her from the office. 368 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:50,543 Hello, Mom? 369 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,295 Yes, I got your message. 370 00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:57,215 Yup, I'm picking you up at the airport, 10 a.m. 371 00:16:57,299 --> 00:16:59,300 I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Bye. 372 00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:02,053 -Wait, wait. Let me say merry Christmas. -Hang on, Mom. 373 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:05,014 Mrs. Doyle? Yes, Frasier again. Hi. Happy holidays. 374 00:17:05,098 --> 00:17:07,433 Listen. Just a word to the wise. 375 00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:10,520 Roz has put on quite a few pregnancy pounds of late, 376 00:17:10,604 --> 00:17:12,563 and she's really sensitive about it, 377 00:17:12,647 --> 00:17:15,774 so I would just say be careful what you say to her, all right? 378 00:17:15,858 --> 00:17:17,609 Bye. Yes, we'll see you soon. 379 00:17:17,693 --> 00:17:18,527 Bye. 380 00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:21,821 I think I'm gonna meet you over there. 381 00:17:21,905 --> 00:17:24,241 -I still have a couple of gifts to get. -Oh, God. 382 00:17:24,325 --> 00:17:26,701 I still have all of mine to get. No matter how hard I try, 383 00:17:26,785 --> 00:17:29,663 I just can't seem to find anything that seems quite right this year. 384 00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:32,749 Oh, it's really sweet how you're trying so hard 385 00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:34,708 to make all your gifts special. 386 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,210 I'm sorry I've been so cranky. 387 00:17:36,294 --> 00:17:39,004 -I'm just nervous about my mom coming. -I know. 388 00:17:39,088 --> 00:17:43,134 I'm sort of dreading the big conversation where I finally tell her I'm pregnant. 389 00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:53,394 You mean, you… You haven't told her yet? 390 00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:54,436 -No. -Oh. 391 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,648 It's just not the type of thing you blurt out over the phone. 392 00:17:59,316 --> 00:18:00,316 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 393 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,360 I'll let you get that. I'll see you over there. 394 00:18:02,444 --> 00:18:03,278 Right. 395 00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:05,947 Hello? 396 00:18:06,031 --> 00:18:08,158 Yes, I had a feeling you might call back. 397 00:18:10,661 --> 00:18:13,037 FRASIER: Roz, there you are. I was beginning to worry about you. 398 00:18:13,121 --> 00:18:14,330 Well, you should have. 399 00:18:14,414 --> 00:18:18,000 I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown. Shopping was a disaster. 400 00:18:18,084 --> 00:18:20,043 When I went to slip into this darling little costume, 401 00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,378 my pants split. 402 00:18:21,462 --> 00:18:23,380 -FRASIER: Oh. -On top of all that, 403 00:18:23,464 --> 00:18:25,007 I can't stop thinking about my mom. 404 00:18:25,091 --> 00:18:26,466 How am I gonna tell her? 405 00:18:26,550 --> 00:18:29,636 Well, Roz, if you'd like, I can tell her for you. 406 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,431 She'll be mad enough that I waited three months to tell her. 407 00:18:32,515 --> 00:18:34,683 The only thing worse would be to hear it from someone else. 408 00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:36,434 FRASIER: It's possible she already knows. 409 00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:37,351 No way. 410 00:18:37,435 --> 00:18:39,604 The only person who knows she's spoken to is you… 411 00:18:39,688 --> 00:18:43,149 -Oh, my God. Frasier? -Okay. 412 00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:45,443 Ho, ho, ho. Who's first? 413 00:18:45,527 --> 00:18:47,778 What is wrong with you? I'm gonna kill you. 414 00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:50,698 -You're gonna kill Santa? -No, little girl. 415 00:18:50,782 --> 00:18:53,284 -Mrs. Claus just wants to kiss me. -Yeah, I'll kiss you. 416 00:18:53,368 --> 00:18:55,161 Come here. I'll kiss you good. 417 00:18:57,746 --> 00:18:59,331 Here. Run along. 418 00:18:59,415 --> 00:19:00,665 Are you insane? 419 00:19:00,749 --> 00:19:03,251 Roz, you tell your mother everything. How was I supposed to know? 420 00:19:03,335 --> 00:19:04,544 [FRASIER CHUCKLES] 421 00:19:04,628 --> 00:19:07,380 Hi, Santa. I want a pony for Christmas. 422 00:19:07,464 --> 00:19:09,007 You got it. Now beat it. 423 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,385 -Can't we talk about this later? -No, we can't. 424 00:19:12,469 --> 00:19:13,511 Hi, Santa. 425 00:19:13,595 --> 00:19:16,640 Oh, my God, what are you, 20? Get out of here. 426 00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,433 Roz, will you just try to stay calm? 427 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,727 No, I will not stay calm, because I am not calm. 428 00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:23,854 I am completely freaked! 429 00:19:23,938 --> 00:19:26,273 [SOBBING] I am pregnant, and you told my crazy mother, 430 00:19:26,357 --> 00:19:27,524 and my Christmas is ruined, 431 00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:32,405 and I'm too fat to even be Mrs. Santa, and I hate this holiday! 432 00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:39,077 Mrs. Claus was up very late last night. 433 00:19:40,328 --> 00:19:42,622 ROZ: Of course, I still had to stop by Frasier's. 434 00:19:42,706 --> 00:19:45,208 I had to give him his champagne glasses. 435 00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:46,959 Merry Christmas. 436 00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:48,002 [GLASS SHATTERS] 437 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,504 Roz, don't go! 438 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:52,382 Come on, I'm sorry about what happened, but it was a mistake. 439 00:19:52,466 --> 00:19:53,800 You can't stay mad at me. 440 00:19:53,884 --> 00:19:58,429 -I still have to face my mother tomorrow. -We can talk about that. Come on in. 441 00:19:58,513 --> 00:19:59,930 Please, come in. 442 00:20:00,556 --> 00:20:03,934 Roz, how would it look if I turned a pregnant lady away on Christmas Eve 443 00:20:04,018 --> 00:20:06,479 when there's so much room here at the inn? 444 00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:09,856 Niles, Daphne, Roz is here. 445 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,108 -Hello. -Hi. 446 00:20:11,192 --> 00:20:14,569 -Hi. -Oh, come on, people. 447 00:20:14,653 --> 00:20:17,489 Let's liven things up a little. It's Christmas Eve. 448 00:20:17,573 --> 00:20:20,908 What are the Cranes known for if not their legendary holiday spirit? 449 00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:24,329 I hate singing, and I hate Christmas, and I'm going to bed. 450 00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:27,331 Dad, what happened? 451 00:20:27,415 --> 00:20:30,710 I went into my song and everything was going fine, 452 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:33,546 and we come up to the high note and I think I'm gonna hit it for once. 453 00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:35,881 Then I look over and I see Eddie. 454 00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:38,635 He's got his head buried in the Christ child's cradle. 455 00:20:40,011 --> 00:20:42,762 I guess he mistook the Christ child for one of his chew toys, 456 00:20:42,846 --> 00:20:45,996 'cause he grabs a hold of it in his teeth and starts shaking it. 457 00:20:46,099 --> 00:20:48,560 So the Virgin Mary grabs a hold of one of his legs. 458 00:20:48,644 --> 00:20:50,353 Well, you know how Eddie loves tug-of-war. 459 00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:52,981 So they're going at it, then Eddie goes running out of there 460 00:20:53,065 --> 00:20:54,190 with it still in his mouth 461 00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:57,069 and half the population of Bethlehem chasing after him. 462 00:20:58,153 --> 00:21:00,029 I never should have agreed to be in that pageant. 463 00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:03,115 -You would have saved me a lot of grief. -Don't start this again. 464 00:21:03,199 --> 00:21:04,867 Don't you talk to her like that. 465 00:21:04,951 --> 00:21:06,994 Let's not say something we're gonna regret. 466 00:21:07,078 --> 00:21:08,203 You're one to talk. 467 00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:09,538 Roz, please. 468 00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:11,791 [ALL ARGUING INDISTINCTLY] 469 00:21:13,876 --> 00:21:15,711 All right! That is enough! 470 00:21:16,879 --> 00:21:19,529 This is the night we celebrate peace and togetherness! 471 00:21:20,049 --> 00:21:21,676 I will not have that ruined! 472 00:21:29,182 --> 00:21:32,644 I intend to put us all in the right frame of mind… 473 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,064 By giving you all my gift. 474 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,191 As you know, I was determined 475 00:21:38,275 --> 00:21:40,819 to make my gift this year a little more meaningful. 476 00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:44,070 And after a great deal of effort, I believe I have. 477 00:21:44,655 --> 00:21:46,907 My gift does not come from some fancy store, 478 00:21:47,908 --> 00:21:49,493 all wrapped in glittery paper. 479 00:21:50,703 --> 00:21:53,414 My gift comes from my heart. 480 00:21:54,707 --> 00:21:56,666 Tonight I intend to sit each one of you down 481 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,502 and tell you in my own words 482 00:21:59,503 --> 00:22:02,256 exactly how much you mean to me. 483 00:22:03,799 --> 00:22:06,342 That's it? That's the cheapest thing I've ever heard. 484 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,219 -[SCOFFS] -MARTIN: Are you out of your mind? 485 00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:11,222 Or… I could get someone over to give us all massages. 486 00:22:11,306 --> 00:22:12,389 -Oh, great! -Well, then! 487 00:22:12,473 --> 00:22:14,350 [ALL CHATTERING] 488 00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,269 I'm so tense, I can't tell you… 489 00:22:18,897 --> 00:22:19,980 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 490 00:22:20,064 --> 00:22:22,629 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 491 00:22:22,713 --> 00:22:24,944 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 492 00:22:25,028 --> 00:22:26,236 Oh, my. 493 00:22:27,029 --> 00:22:29,406 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 494 00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:31,866 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 495 00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:34,035 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 496 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,703 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 497 00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:39,207 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 498 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,210 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 499 00:22:42,878 --> 00:22:44,004 Thank you!