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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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-MARTIN: Oh! Easy.
-Sorry. Your neck is tight.
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Yeah, well, it's been
a tense couple of days.
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Holidays will do that to you.
5
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Yeah, well, this has been
the worst Christmas ever.
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It all started yesterday.
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You know the only part
about Christmas I don't like?
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How quickly it's all over.
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Yes, come December 26th…
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It's all just a memory.
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With nothing but your light
decorating touch to remind us.
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-Afternoon, all.
-FRASIER: Hello, Daphne.
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Oh, that's awfully dangerous, Daphne.
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Standing there under that mistletoe.
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That's enough eggnog, Niles.
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DAPHNE: The oddest thing just happened.
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I was walking Eddie past
that church over on Chestnut,
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and he turned to go inside like he
assumed that's where we were going.
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FRASIER: That's strange.
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He did the same thing with me
yesterday when I was walking him.
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Any idea why he'd do that, Mr. Crane?
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Look, that dog's always
doing weird things.
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Yesterday we were
taking our bath together,
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and he spent 15 straight minutes
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pushing the soap around
with his nose like an otter.
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Weird.
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Yes.
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If he gets any weirder, we'll
have to send Eddie to a home.
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Well, I'm off. I've got all my
Christmas shopping to do yet.
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-All of it?
-I'm determined not to settle this year.
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I want my gifts to be remembered
and cherished long after the holidays.
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Well, you know, nothing
is cherished quite so much
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as the gift of laughter.
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If you want Highway Patrol Bloopers,
you're gonna have to buy it yourself.
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-You're not gonna drink that that way.
-Why?
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My goodness, the first
mistake in eggnog preparation
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is failing to garnish it properly
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with a dash of nutmeg.
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-Oh.
-There we are.
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[SHOUTING, GAGGING]
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Oh. Of course, the second
mistake is placing the paprika
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next to the nutmeg on the spice shelf.
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DAPHNE: Mr. Crane!
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Are you all right?
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Oh, yes. We're fine, Daphne.
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-Are you all right, Dad?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
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Fras, before you go, can
I talk to you for a minute?
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Well, sure. What is it?
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Well, what Daphne was talking about, uh…
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There is a reason Eddie knows that church.
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I've been taking him there.
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I guess the family that
bathes together prays together.
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No, there's this priest, Father Curtis.
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He got to know Eddie, and he asked if they
could use him for the Christmas pageant,
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and I said sure.
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Well, the next thing I know, he's
roped me in to play a shepherd.
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Well, then Dutch Gansvort
comes down with bronchitis
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and I get promoted to a wise man.
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Dad, is there a point to this story
looming somewhere on the horizon?
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As a wise man, I have to sing a song.
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I said that was fine,
but the song's a killer.
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-I'm gonna humiliate myself.
-Maybe you just need a little rehearsal.
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-Why don't we work on it tonight?
-You think that would help?
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You're a good singer, just a little rusty.
We'll start around 8?
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-Great.
-You know, I am a good singer.
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Remember those family picnics when I
used to belt out "What's New Pussycat?"
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-We'll start around 7:00, then.
-Oh.
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FRASIER: Niles, hold the elevator.
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["O CHRISTMAS TREE" PLAYING ON PIANO]
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Hey, boys, this is that
song I was telling you about.
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"O Holy Night." Do you know it?
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Well, of course, Dad, it's a classic.
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My God, it all builds to
that one glorious note:
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♪ O night ♪
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♪ Divine ♪
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♪ O night… ♪
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Yes, yes, that's the note I can't hit.
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I practice in my room
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and Eddie ends up burying
his head under the pillow.
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-Don't worry, we'll get you there.
-Can we just get this done?
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I wanna get it finished
before Daphne gets back.
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I don't want her to know about this,
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or she'll insist on coming
down to the pageant,
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-and I'm nervous enough as it is.
-Fine.
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Let's see what we have to work with.
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Why don't you start here, with "O night…"
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And I want to hear you
really attack the note.
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Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
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♪ O night when Christ was born ♪
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♪ O night ♪
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[SCREECHING] ♪ Divine ♪
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Sometimes the note sees
the attack coming and retreats.
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[BANGING ON CEILING]
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Shut up!
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This bozo upstairs, he bangs
on the floor every time I sing.
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Well, just ignore him, Dad.
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I tell you what, Dad, there is
another vocal exercise I remember.
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It was very useful to me when
I was singing Colonel Fairfax
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in Yeomen of the Guard.
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You see, the principle
is to distract yourself
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with a physical exercise,
thus freeing the voice.
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You'll hit one note,
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then you slide up the octave
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as you descend slowly
into a crouch position.
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Observe.
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[SINGING GLISSANDO]
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You see? It works.
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That's very interesting.
I wonder if the reverse is true.
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[BOTH SINGING GLISSANDI]
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Try it, Dad.
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No, I'm afraid with three of
us doing it, it might look stupid.
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I'm starting to think your
problem's all psychological.
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No, you've convinced
yourself you can't hit this note.
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Yeah, I convinced the guy upstairs too.
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I think Niles may be right.
You need positive reinforcement.
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Let's try it again, and this time,
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try to eliminate any negative thoughts.
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-Okay.
-Let's go a little earlier, Niles.
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-"Fall on your knees."
-"Fall on your knees."
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♪ Fall on your knees ♪
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You've got it, Dad.
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♪ Oh, hear ♪
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I hear sweet music.
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♪ The angel voices ♪
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I hear one angel.
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♪ O night ♪
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FRASIER: Lovely night.
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♪ Divine ♪
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Something's divine.
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-♪ O night ♪
-Yeah, Dad.
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♪ When Christ was born ♪
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A star is born!
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♪ O night ♪
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Bring it home now.
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[SCREECHING] ♪ Divine! ♪
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-[BANGING ON CEILING]
-ALL: Oh, shut up!
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Your shoulders are awfully tight.
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[SCOFFS] It's been a stressful few days.
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I'd be happy to listen.
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Oh, no.
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Well, it started yesterday.
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I had something on my mind.
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Lucky for me, Dr. Crane's
brother was over.
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He's always been such a good friend to me.
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-Afternoon, all.
-ALL: Hello, Daphne.
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That's awfully dangerous, Daphne,
standing under that mistletoe.
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A piece could fall into your eye.
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Let me freshen your drink, Niles.
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Thank you, Dr. Crane.
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The oddest thing just happened.
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I was walking Eddie past
that church over on Chestnut,
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and he turned to go inside like he
assumed that's where we were going.
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That's strange.
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He did the same thing
yesterday when I was walking him.
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Any idea why he'd do that, Mr. Crane?
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Nope.
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Dogs are weird.
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You know, that worries me a bit.
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What does?
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Well, I think your father's
been going to that church.
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I had an uncle who did the same thing.
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He had no interest in
church his whole life,
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then he started going every day.
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Turns out he had some bad
health news from his doctor.
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He didn't even last a year.
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Well, first of all, I
can see you're upset,
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so come here.
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Thank you, Dr. Crane.
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You're always so supportive.
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And second of all, I think
you're worrying over nothing.
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I've never known my father
to have so much as a hangnail
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without letting everyone know about it.
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That's true.
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Maybe I just got myself worked
up remembering my uncle John.
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Look at you. Just saying his
name gets you upset. Come here.
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-Well, I'm fine.
-No, no, you need a hug.
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Well, all right.
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[MARTIN HACKING]
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Mr. Crane!
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Are you all right?
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We're fine, Daphne.
182
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See? Nothing to worry about.
183
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Well, I have got to run.
184
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Hold the elevator, Niles.
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-We'll see you soon, Daphne.
-DAPHNE: Bye.
186
00:08:08,463 --> 00:08:09,922
Oh, and, uh, Dad,
187
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listen, don't worry.
188
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We'll…
189
00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:15,969
Niles and I will be there for you.
190
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What's that about?
191
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Oh, never mind.
192
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,477
Well, I gotta go lie down.
193
00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:29,399
Mr. Crane? Did you ever call Dr. Stewart
for the results of your physical?
194
00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,359
Oh, sure, yeah. A couple of days ago.
195
00:08:32,401 --> 00:08:33,903
I'm… fine.
196
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Come on, Eddie.
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DAPHNE: Is everything all right?
198
00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:42,745
Oh, yeah.
199
00:08:43,412 --> 00:08:45,581
It's just all over so fast.
200
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:53,087
DAPHNE: Well, that was
enough to convince me I was right.
201
00:08:53,171 --> 00:08:56,257
And the next 24 hours were a living hell.
202
00:08:56,341 --> 00:08:58,259
The worst came the next day.
203
00:08:58,343 --> 00:09:01,095
I'm terrified about this, Father.
204
00:09:01,179 --> 00:09:05,225
All this came around so sudden.
I'm… I'm not prepared.
205
00:09:06,935 --> 00:09:10,939
Tell me again what I'm supposed to
say when I see Jesus the first time?
206
00:09:15,276 --> 00:09:19,155
Okay. All right. Well, thank you.
Yeah, I'll see you soon. Bye.
207
00:09:20,865 --> 00:09:22,574
Oh, hi, Daphne.
208
00:09:22,658 --> 00:09:24,368
-Hello.
-Hi.
209
00:09:25,369 --> 00:09:28,497
I'm just so excited about the
gift I just got for you, Mr. Crane.
210
00:09:28,581 --> 00:09:30,749
-Oh, great.
-Why don't you open it now?
211
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:34,668
Well… to tell you the truth, I
don't really have much time.
212
00:09:34,752 --> 00:09:36,003
I'm kind of on my way out.
213
00:09:36,087 --> 00:09:38,422
-[SOBS]
-Wait, wait. Okay. All right.
214
00:09:38,506 --> 00:09:40,925
Yeah, I'll open it now. Sure, sure.
215
00:09:41,009 --> 00:09:42,343
Don't wanna get you upset.
216
00:09:42,427 --> 00:09:44,679
You must be really excited about this.
217
00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:48,265
Oh, wow! It's that sweater!
218
00:09:48,349 --> 00:09:51,268
The one I pointed out to you
in the window. That's great.
219
00:09:51,352 --> 00:09:53,730
Boy, I can die a happy man now.
220
00:09:54,897 --> 00:09:57,691
Daphne, what's the matter?
Are you all right?
221
00:09:58,358 --> 00:10:00,110
[SOBBING] Oh, Mr. Crane.
222
00:10:00,194 --> 00:10:03,071
I know why you've been
going down to that church.
223
00:10:03,155 --> 00:10:05,365
You do?
You're not supposed to know about that.
224
00:10:05,449 --> 00:10:09,494
-But why is it making you so upset?
-Because I care about you.
225
00:10:09,578 --> 00:10:11,996
You were actually going to
let this whole thing happen
226
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,498
without ever telling a soul?
227
00:10:13,582 --> 00:10:14,499
Well, yes.
228
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,625
I don't want people
staring at me in that church,
229
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:19,003
stiff as a board, all
that makeup on my face.
230
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:24,675
So…
231
00:10:25,384 --> 00:10:27,136
How much time have you got?
232
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,096
About 20 minutes.
233
00:10:31,724 --> 00:10:33,350
-Twenty minutes?
-Yeah.
234
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,477
And, boy, will I be glad when it's over.
235
00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:38,312
This is the last Christmas
pageant I'm ever signing up for.
236
00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:40,273
You're in a Christmas pageant?
237
00:10:40,357 --> 00:10:42,108
What did you think I was talking about?
238
00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:44,652
-I thought you were dying!
-What?
239
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:48,486
You just got your test results back,
you're down at the church all the time.
240
00:10:49,574 --> 00:10:51,742
-Why are you laughing?
-Well, that's funny.
241
00:10:51,826 --> 00:10:56,038
-I don't think it's so bloody funny.
-Are you kidding? [GAGS] I'm dying!
242
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,290
You will be!
243
00:10:57,374 --> 00:10:58,999
What are you… Daphne, don't do that.
244
00:10:59,083 --> 00:11:01,334
Don't you tell me what to do!
I was worried sick!
245
00:11:01,418 --> 00:11:03,003
What kind of a house
were you brought up in?
246
00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,130
DAPHNE: I don't know
why you have to keep secrets.
247
00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:08,258
This isn't the North of England.
You don't go throwing furniture at me.
248
00:11:08,342 --> 00:11:11,892
-This is decent stuff. It's not the sort…
-Oh, I don't care about…
249
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,172
MASSEUR: You can
talk about it, if you like.
250
00:11:15,516 --> 00:11:18,143
Oh, I'm not ready just yet.
251
00:11:23,773 --> 00:11:24,857
Oh…
252
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:29,486
I can't tell you how good that feels.
253
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:32,364
I don't think I've ever had
a massage like this before.
254
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,116
Well, I'm glad.
255
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,493
As long as you're so relaxed,
256
00:11:36,577 --> 00:11:39,627
maybe I should just give you
your Christmas present right now.
257
00:11:42,332 --> 00:11:44,334
[NILES GROANING]
258
00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:46,920
Ow.
259
00:11:47,504 --> 00:11:49,380
-You woke me up!
-Sorry.
260
00:11:49,464 --> 00:11:51,633
Guess this ankle is a bit tender.
261
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:56,554
Well, yours would be too
if you'd had the day I had.
262
00:11:56,638 --> 00:11:58,973
I'd gone out to do some shopping.
263
00:11:59,057 --> 00:12:01,141
Then I arrived at Frasier's building.
264
00:12:01,225 --> 00:12:02,684
Excuse me.
265
00:12:02,768 --> 00:12:04,478
Sorry. I don't mean to crowd you.
266
00:12:04,562 --> 00:12:07,105
This is a brand-new
hand-tailored Italian suit.
267
00:12:07,189 --> 00:12:09,566
You know how difficult
it is to get sap out of silk.
268
00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:11,735
Another reason we didn't need this tree.
269
00:12:11,819 --> 00:12:12,903
Oh, Albert.
270
00:12:13,612 --> 00:12:15,656
This thing's a fire hazard.
271
00:12:16,407 --> 00:12:19,910
They make a chemical now that
you can use to fireproof a tree.
272
00:12:20,494 --> 00:12:21,745
It causes cancer.
273
00:12:23,038 --> 00:12:24,247
Happy holidays, then.
274
00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:26,207
[ELEVATOR CLUNKS]
275
00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,084
What just happened?
276
00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:30,002
I think the elevator stopped.
277
00:12:30,086 --> 00:12:32,338
Not to worry.
I'm sure we'll get it going in a moment.
278
00:12:32,422 --> 00:12:35,967
We've probably got about
20 minutes of oxygen.
279
00:12:36,885 --> 00:12:38,803
Sir, you're just going to alarm everyone.
280
00:12:38,887 --> 00:12:40,304
-I work in an ER.
-Ah.
281
00:12:40,388 --> 00:12:43,890
Perhaps you can instruct these people
on the best way to stay cool in a crisis.
282
00:12:43,974 --> 00:12:46,393
I was on duty that night
the elevator cable snapped
283
00:12:46,477 --> 00:12:47,727
at the Bing building.
284
00:12:47,811 --> 00:12:50,313
They brought those
people in on cookie sheets.
285
00:12:50,397 --> 00:12:52,107
[BUTTON CLICKING]
286
00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:56,027
Uh, hello? Is anyone there?
287
00:12:56,111 --> 00:12:57,445
MAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Yeah. Who is it?
288
00:12:57,529 --> 00:12:59,739
There's a group of us stuck
in one of your elevators.
289
00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:03,659
The doors won't open, and we
can't seem to move off the eighth floor.
290
00:13:03,743 --> 00:13:05,536
All right.
Where are you calling from, sir?
291
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,162
The Elliott Bay Towers.
292
00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:08,747
Both my crews are out.
293
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,208
Could be a good hour and a half
before I can get anybody there.
294
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,334
I can't wait that long.
295
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:14,753
My children are alone
upstairs in the apartment.
296
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:18,007
You haven't got a gas
oven up there, have you?
297
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:22,052
There is another way.
If somebody felt like climbing
298
00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:23,845
through the trapdoor on top of your car,
299
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:27,515
there's a manual-release switch up
there that would open up your doors.
300
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,977
That's what we've gotta do, then.
Somebody's gotta go up there.
301
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:33,646
That's a pretty small opening.
302
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,065
I have more confidence
in your wife than you do.
303
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,360
Step this way, ma'am.
I'll give you a leg up.
304
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,029
It has to be you.
305
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:44,406
Well… I…
How do you expect me to get up there?
306
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,825
-You could climb up the tree.
-Oh, come on.
307
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,661
Surely you climbed plenty
of trees when you were a boy.
308
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,663
It's Dr. Crane's brother.
309
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,790
BOTH: Oh.
310
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,003
Fine.
311
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,797
I suppose in times of crisis,
312
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,883
someone must step forward and be a hero.
313
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,634
Today that man is Niles Crane.
314
00:14:05,718 --> 00:14:08,680
Tomorrow it will be
my dry cleaner, Mr. Lee.
315
00:14:13,476 --> 00:14:16,354
All right, come on, now.
Grab his feet and we'll push him through.
316
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,857
-NILES: No, no, wait. Not so fast!
-[THUD]
317
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:23,069
Well, not to worry.
I landed in a nice soft puddle of grease.
318
00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:27,421
I just have to find the release switch.
Bear with me.
319
00:14:29,908 --> 00:14:31,858
-Quick.
-NILES: Did that do anything?
320
00:14:34,788 --> 00:14:35,622
People?
321
00:14:36,707 --> 00:14:38,125
Lady with my coat?
322
00:14:41,587 --> 00:14:42,921
Where'd you all go?
323
00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:48,926
[RETREATING VOICE] Oh, my God!
We're going up!
324
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:50,261
Someone stop this thing!
325
00:14:50,928 --> 00:14:52,096
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
326
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,061
Ow.
327
00:15:01,898 --> 00:15:03,399
Why is that man crawling?
328
00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:04,858
That's Dr. Crane's brother.
329
00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:05,860
Oh.
330
00:15:07,278 --> 00:15:09,320
NILES: I was slightly
shaken by what I had done,
331
00:15:09,404 --> 00:15:12,949
but I'd completely composed
myself as I arrived at Frasier's.
332
00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:14,242
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
333
00:15:14,326 --> 00:15:15,660
But it was some time later
334
00:15:15,744 --> 00:15:17,662
before I was able to tell
him what had happened.
335
00:15:17,746 --> 00:15:21,332
Of course, I have no idea what you
use to get elevator grease out of silk.
336
00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:24,419
Well, brown suede seems
to be leaching it out nicely.
337
00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:27,047
[DOORBELL RINGS]
338
00:15:27,631 --> 00:15:30,966
Anyway, no Christmas is
complete without a bit of tumult,
339
00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:34,928
but now we can all relax and enjoy
a lovely holiday evening together.
340
00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:36,555
Merry Christmas.
341
00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:38,098
[GLASS SHATTERS]
342
00:15:41,227 --> 00:15:43,895
-You sure you wanna hear about this?
-Why not?
343
00:15:43,979 --> 00:15:44,813
Okay.
344
00:15:45,439 --> 00:15:47,357
I've been feeling a
little depressed lately
345
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,151
because I'm putting on all this weight.
346
00:15:49,235 --> 00:15:50,151
I'm pregnant.
347
00:15:50,735 --> 00:15:51,694
Hey, guys.
348
00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:53,028
-Hey, Roz.
-Hi, Roz.
349
00:15:53,112 --> 00:15:54,405
-Hi.
-That's a nice suit.
350
00:15:54,489 --> 00:15:56,031
Thank you. It's brand-new.
351
00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:58,492
And since you'll
probably be ordering food,
352
00:15:58,576 --> 00:16:02,663
I think I will just go rather
than risk getting it stained.
353
00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:06,083
What is that supposed to be?
A crack about how much I eat?
354
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,917
Absolutely not.
It was a crack about your table manners.
355
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:12,088
Well, I should go too.
356
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,300
Just a couple hours before the
pageant, and I need the time to rehearse.
357
00:16:15,384 --> 00:16:18,094
Not to worry, Dad.
Come tomorrow, it'll all be a memory.
358
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,637
Yeah, but even after it's all over,
359
00:16:19,721 --> 00:16:22,140
I still have to make peace
with the man upstairs.
360
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:29,689
So, Frasier, are you sure we have
to do this charity thing this afternoon?
361
00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:32,316
Come on, Roz.
It's just an hour out of your life.
362
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,943
Besides, I think you're gonna
make an adorable Mrs. Claus.
363
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:38,327
Why? Because now I look so much
like her 'cause I've gotten so fat?
364
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:40,783
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
365
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,619
Hello?
366
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,914
Why, yes, Mrs. Doyle. Yes, she is.
367
00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:49,583
Just a moment. It's your mom.
They forwarded her from the office.
368
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:50,543
Hello, Mom?
369
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,295
Yes, I got your message.
370
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:57,215
Yup, I'm picking you
up at the airport, 10 a.m.
371
00:16:57,299 --> 00:16:59,300
I'm looking forward to seeing you too.
Bye.
372
00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:02,053
-Wait, wait. Let me say merry Christmas.
-Hang on, Mom.
373
00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:05,014
Mrs. Doyle? Yes, Frasier again.
Hi. Happy holidays.
374
00:17:05,098 --> 00:17:07,433
Listen. Just a word to the wise.
375
00:17:07,517 --> 00:17:10,520
Roz has put on quite a few
pregnancy pounds of late,
376
00:17:10,604 --> 00:17:12,563
and she's really sensitive about it,
377
00:17:12,647 --> 00:17:15,774
so I would just say be careful
what you say to her, all right?
378
00:17:15,858 --> 00:17:17,609
Bye. Yes, we'll see you soon.
379
00:17:17,693 --> 00:17:18,527
Bye.
380
00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:21,821
I think I'm gonna meet you over there.
381
00:17:21,905 --> 00:17:24,241
-I still have a couple of gifts to get.
-Oh, God.
382
00:17:24,325 --> 00:17:26,701
I still have all of mine to get.
No matter how hard I try,
383
00:17:26,785 --> 00:17:29,663
I just can't seem to find anything
that seems quite right this year.
384
00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:32,749
Oh, it's really sweet
how you're trying so hard
385
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:34,708
to make all your gifts special.
386
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,210
I'm sorry I've been so cranky.
387
00:17:36,294 --> 00:17:39,004
-I'm just nervous about my mom coming.
-I know.
388
00:17:39,088 --> 00:17:43,134
I'm sort of dreading the big conversation
where I finally tell her I'm pregnant.
389
00:17:51,643 --> 00:17:53,394
You mean, you… You haven't told her yet?
390
00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:54,436
-No.
-Oh.
391
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,648
It's just not the type of thing
you blurt out over the phone.
392
00:17:59,316 --> 00:18:00,316
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
393
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,360
I'll let you get that.
I'll see you over there.
394
00:18:02,444 --> 00:18:03,278
Right.
395
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:05,947
Hello?
396
00:18:06,031 --> 00:18:08,158
Yes, I had a feeling you might call back.
397
00:18:10,661 --> 00:18:13,037
FRASIER: Roz, there you are.
I was beginning to worry about you.
398
00:18:13,121 --> 00:18:14,330
Well, you should have.
399
00:18:14,414 --> 00:18:18,000
I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown.
Shopping was a disaster.
400
00:18:18,084 --> 00:18:20,043
When I went to slip into
this darling little costume,
401
00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,378
my pants split.
402
00:18:21,462 --> 00:18:23,380
-FRASIER: Oh.
-On top of all that,
403
00:18:23,464 --> 00:18:25,007
I can't stop thinking about my mom.
404
00:18:25,091 --> 00:18:26,466
How am I gonna tell her?
405
00:18:26,550 --> 00:18:29,636
Well, Roz, if you'd like,
I can tell her for you.
406
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,431
She'll be mad enough that I
waited three months to tell her.
407
00:18:32,515 --> 00:18:34,683
The only thing worse would
be to hear it from someone else.
408
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:36,434
FRASIER: It's possible she already knows.
409
00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:37,351
No way.
410
00:18:37,435 --> 00:18:39,604
The only person who
knows she's spoken to is you…
411
00:18:39,688 --> 00:18:43,149
-Oh, my God. Frasier?
-Okay.
412
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:45,443
Ho, ho, ho. Who's first?
413
00:18:45,527 --> 00:18:47,778
What is wrong with you?
I'm gonna kill you.
414
00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:50,698
-You're gonna kill Santa?
-No, little girl.
415
00:18:50,782 --> 00:18:53,284
-Mrs. Claus just wants to kiss me.
-Yeah, I'll kiss you.
416
00:18:53,368 --> 00:18:55,161
Come here. I'll kiss you good.
417
00:18:57,746 --> 00:18:59,331
Here. Run along.
418
00:18:59,415 --> 00:19:00,665
Are you insane?
419
00:19:00,749 --> 00:19:03,251
Roz, you tell your mother everything.
How was I supposed to know?
420
00:19:03,335 --> 00:19:04,544
[FRASIER CHUCKLES]
421
00:19:04,628 --> 00:19:07,380
Hi, Santa. I want a pony for Christmas.
422
00:19:07,464 --> 00:19:09,007
You got it. Now beat it.
423
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,385
-Can't we talk about this later?
-No, we can't.
424
00:19:12,469 --> 00:19:13,511
Hi, Santa.
425
00:19:13,595 --> 00:19:16,640
Oh, my God, what are you, 20?
Get out of here.
426
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,433
Roz, will you just try to stay calm?
427
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,727
No, I will not stay calm,
because I am not calm.
428
00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:23,854
I am completely freaked!
429
00:19:23,938 --> 00:19:26,273
[SOBBING] I am pregnant,
and you told my crazy mother,
430
00:19:26,357 --> 00:19:27,524
and my Christmas is ruined,
431
00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:32,405
and I'm too fat to even be
Mrs. Santa, and I hate this holiday!
432
00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:39,077
Mrs. Claus was up very late last night.
433
00:19:40,328 --> 00:19:42,622
ROZ: Of course, I still
had to stop by Frasier's.
434
00:19:42,706 --> 00:19:45,208
I had to give him his champagne glasses.
435
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:46,959
Merry Christmas.
436
00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:48,002
[GLASS SHATTERS]
437
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,504
Roz, don't go!
438
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:52,382
Come on, I'm sorry about what
happened, but it was a mistake.
439
00:19:52,466 --> 00:19:53,800
You can't stay mad at me.
440
00:19:53,884 --> 00:19:58,429
-I still have to face my mother tomorrow.
-We can talk about that. Come on in.
441
00:19:58,513 --> 00:19:59,930
Please, come in.
442
00:20:00,556 --> 00:20:03,934
Roz, how would it look if I turned a
pregnant lady away on Christmas Eve
443
00:20:04,018 --> 00:20:06,479
when there's so much room here at the inn?
444
00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:09,856
Niles, Daphne, Roz is here.
445
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,108
-Hello.
-Hi.
446
00:20:11,192 --> 00:20:14,569
-Hi.
-Oh, come on, people.
447
00:20:14,653 --> 00:20:17,489
Let's liven things up a little.
It's Christmas Eve.
448
00:20:17,573 --> 00:20:20,908
What are the Cranes known for if
not their legendary holiday spirit?
449
00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:24,329
I hate singing, and I hate
Christmas, and I'm going to bed.
450
00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:27,331
Dad, what happened?
451
00:20:27,415 --> 00:20:30,710
I went into my song and
everything was going fine,
452
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:33,546
and we come up to the high note
and I think I'm gonna hit it for once.
453
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:35,881
Then I look over and I see Eddie.
454
00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:38,635
He's got his head buried
in the Christ child's cradle.
455
00:20:40,011 --> 00:20:42,762
I guess he mistook the Christ
child for one of his chew toys,
456
00:20:42,846 --> 00:20:45,996
'cause he grabs a hold of it in
his teeth and starts shaking it.
457
00:20:46,099 --> 00:20:48,560
So the Virgin Mary grabs
a hold of one of his legs.
458
00:20:48,644 --> 00:20:50,353
Well, you know how Eddie loves tug-of-war.
459
00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:52,981
So they're going at it, then
Eddie goes running out of there
460
00:20:53,065 --> 00:20:54,190
with it still in his mouth
461
00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:57,069
and half the population of
Bethlehem chasing after him.
462
00:20:58,153 --> 00:21:00,029
I never should have
agreed to be in that pageant.
463
00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:03,115
-You would have saved me a lot of grief.
-Don't start this again.
464
00:21:03,199 --> 00:21:04,867
Don't you talk to her like that.
465
00:21:04,951 --> 00:21:06,994
Let's not say something
we're gonna regret.
466
00:21:07,078 --> 00:21:08,203
You're one to talk.
467
00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:09,538
Roz, please.
468
00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:11,791
[ALL ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
469
00:21:13,876 --> 00:21:15,711
All right! That is enough!
470
00:21:16,879 --> 00:21:19,529
This is the night we celebrate
peace and togetherness!
471
00:21:20,049 --> 00:21:21,676
I will not have that ruined!
472
00:21:29,182 --> 00:21:32,644
I intend to put us all in
the right frame of mind…
473
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,064
By giving you all my gift.
474
00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,191
As you know, I was determined
475
00:21:38,275 --> 00:21:40,819
to make my gift this year
a little more meaningful.
476
00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:44,070
And after a great deal
of effort, I believe I have.
477
00:21:44,655 --> 00:21:46,907
My gift does not come
from some fancy store,
478
00:21:47,908 --> 00:21:49,493
all wrapped in glittery paper.
479
00:21:50,703 --> 00:21:53,414
My gift comes from my heart.
480
00:21:54,707 --> 00:21:56,666
Tonight I intend to sit
each one of you down
481
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,502
and tell you in my own words
482
00:21:59,503 --> 00:22:02,256
exactly how much you mean to me.
483
00:22:03,799 --> 00:22:06,342
That's it?
That's the cheapest thing I've ever heard.
484
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,219
-[SCOFFS]
-MARTIN: Are you out of your mind?
485
00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:11,222
Or… I could get someone
over to give us all massages.
486
00:22:11,306 --> 00:22:12,389
-Oh, great!
-Well, then!
487
00:22:12,473 --> 00:22:14,350
[ALL CHATTERING]
488
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,269
I'm so tense, I can't tell you…
489
00:22:18,897 --> 00:22:19,980
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
490
00:22:20,064 --> 00:22:22,629
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
491
00:22:22,713 --> 00:22:24,944
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
492
00:22:25,028 --> 00:22:26,236
Oh, my.
493
00:22:27,029 --> 00:22:29,406
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
494
00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:31,866
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
495
00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:34,035
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
496
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,703
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
497
00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:39,207
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
498
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,210
♪ They're callin' again ♪
499
00:22:42,878 --> 00:22:44,004
Thank you!