1 00:00:02,395 --> 00:00:03,604 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,361 FRASIER: Good afternoon, Betsy. 3 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:13,654 I'm listening. 4 00:00:13,738 --> 00:00:14,906 BETSY: Hi, Dr. Crane. 5 00:00:14,990 --> 00:00:18,910 My problem is that my husband wants to take me on a cruise for our anniversary. 6 00:00:19,702 --> 00:00:21,328 Well, that sounds enchanting. 7 00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,580 Yes, except I keep having this dream 8 00:00:23,664 --> 00:00:27,000 where I'm in a cabin and all of a sudden I see a few drops of water, 9 00:00:27,084 --> 00:00:29,711 it's starting to leak in and at first it's just a trickle. 10 00:00:29,795 --> 00:00:32,963 And then it's a stream and then it's gushing, pouring water everywhere 11 00:00:33,047 --> 00:00:36,301 and there's nothing in the world that I can do to stop the flow. 12 00:00:36,885 --> 00:00:40,013 Well, that's a very powerful image, wouldn't you say, Roz? 13 00:00:41,514 --> 00:00:42,848 Roz agrees. 14 00:00:42,932 --> 00:00:46,059 Excuse me, I'm looking for Frasier Crane. They told me he'd be up here. 15 00:00:46,143 --> 00:00:48,728 Lilith, it's me, Roz Doyle. 16 00:00:48,812 --> 00:00:51,439 Oh, yes, Frasier's fun-loving producer. 17 00:00:51,523 --> 00:00:54,860 Who's apparently having a bit too much fun loving. 18 00:00:57,487 --> 00:01:00,448 I'd love to send one back at you, but I gotta pee. 19 00:01:02,617 --> 00:01:05,327 FRASIER: That's all the time we have for today. 20 00:01:05,411 --> 00:01:09,414 This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you a good day and good mental… 21 00:01:09,498 --> 00:01:10,373 [SCREAMS] 22 00:01:13,335 --> 00:01:14,919 I'm sorry. 23 00:01:15,003 --> 00:01:17,213 Someone just walked in the room and frightened me. 24 00:01:17,297 --> 00:01:19,340 It's my ex-wife, so if you're a regular listener, 25 00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:21,174 you'll know what I'm talking about. 26 00:01:21,676 --> 00:01:22,844 We'll see you Monday. 27 00:01:23,469 --> 00:01:24,470 Oh. 28 00:01:25,596 --> 00:01:26,680 Hello, Lilith. 29 00:01:26,764 --> 00:01:27,806 Surprise. 30 00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:30,100 Yes, we're a little past that now, aren't we? 31 00:01:30,851 --> 00:01:33,311 Well, what brings you to Seattle? 32 00:01:33,395 --> 00:01:36,522 I'm here for the National Conference on Self-Psychology. 33 00:01:36,606 --> 00:01:38,691 Ah. And how is Frederick? 34 00:01:38,775 --> 00:01:39,650 Fine. 35 00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:42,070 -We have an amazing child. -Yes, we have. 36 00:01:43,071 --> 00:01:44,154 And Brian? 37 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,406 Fine. 38 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:46,866 I have an amazing husband. 39 00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:48,117 Yes, yes. 40 00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:50,910 So did you two get the gift basket I sent you for the holidays? 41 00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:52,204 [SOBBING] 42 00:01:53,121 --> 00:01:56,165 -What did you do to her? -Nothing. I sent her a gift basket. 43 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,542 Fruits and festive nuts. 44 00:01:58,293 --> 00:02:01,211 No, it's not the basket, you nit. 45 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,338 It's Brian. 46 00:02:04,006 --> 00:02:05,091 He left me. 47 00:02:06,634 --> 00:02:07,676 Maybe I should go. 48 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,636 Oh, no, everyone else knows it. 49 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,347 You might as well know it too. 50 00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:16,851 Brian was looking for someone a bit more… feminine. 51 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,813 And he found him. 52 00:02:26,944 --> 00:02:29,947 Oh, Stan Jablonsky, that little hussy. 53 00:02:32,658 --> 00:02:37,538 Oh, Lilith, oh, I am genuinely sorry. 54 00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:42,417 I didn't know where to turn but I knew somehow you would be here for me. 55 00:02:43,918 --> 00:02:45,794 So you didn't come for the conference? 56 00:02:45,878 --> 00:02:47,546 -No. -Oh, yes. 57 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:50,049 You know, you really shouldn't be alone tonight. 58 00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:52,717 Niles and I are attending a reception at the Union Club. 59 00:02:52,801 --> 00:02:54,136 Would you like to join us? 60 00:02:55,387 --> 00:02:57,806 Oh, thank you, Frasier. 61 00:02:58,306 --> 00:02:59,224 I'd love to. 62 00:02:59,766 --> 00:03:01,684 I don't know if I deserve your compassion 63 00:03:01,768 --> 00:03:06,355 but I feel better already just holding your strong, comforting hands. 64 00:03:06,439 --> 00:03:07,273 Oh. 65 00:03:10,109 --> 00:03:11,777 You know, I'll always be here for you. 66 00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:15,614 Oh, I could stay in these arms all day. 67 00:03:17,158 --> 00:03:18,158 Uh… 68 00:03:20,493 --> 00:03:23,621 Yes, well, you'll have to excuse me. 69 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:26,332 I have an appointment. 70 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:27,833 Station manager. 71 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,544 Very important. Can't be broken. 72 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:32,754 I'll see you tonight. 73 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,672 Bye-bye. 74 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,552 Hey. 75 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,222 That's rough, leaving you for another man. 76 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,516 -Did you have any idea? -No, none at all. 77 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,562 Stan was a contractor we'd hired to expand our master bedroom. 78 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,481 It's ironic, isn't it? 79 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,568 No sooner do I get the closet of my dreams than my husband comes out of it. 80 00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:08,662 -FRASIER: Oh, hello, Niles. -Oh, Frasier. 81 00:04:08,746 --> 00:04:10,080 Well, that bun looks good. 82 00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:12,666 -Now, now, remember your diet. -Oh, yeah. 83 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,377 Speaking of buns I could do without, Lilith is back. 84 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,633 Oh, that explains why blood was pouring from all my faucets this morning. 85 00:04:25,053 --> 00:04:26,346 Well, go easy on her. 86 00:04:27,013 --> 00:04:28,681 Her husband has left her. 87 00:04:28,765 --> 00:04:31,517 And get this, for a man. 88 00:04:31,601 --> 00:04:33,936 Damn! I owe Dad $5. 89 00:04:39,566 --> 00:04:42,944 Well, poor thing. I mean, she's obviously devastated. 90 00:04:43,028 --> 00:04:44,529 Her entire world's been turned upside down. 91 00:04:44,613 --> 00:04:46,113 But look who I'm talking to. 92 00:04:46,197 --> 00:04:48,907 No one knows better than you how a messy divorce can leave one… 93 00:04:48,991 --> 00:04:50,326 [NILES SNORING] 94 00:04:53,496 --> 00:04:54,872 Strangely relaxed. 95 00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:56,707 Niles? 96 00:04:56,791 --> 00:04:58,500 -Niles! -Yes. 97 00:04:58,584 --> 00:05:00,168 Am I boring you? 98 00:05:00,252 --> 00:05:01,461 Did I do it again? 99 00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:03,254 I'm sorry, Frasier. 100 00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:05,590 It seems I'm suffering through a bout of narcolepsy. 101 00:05:05,674 --> 00:05:07,050 Good Lord! 102 00:05:07,926 --> 00:05:09,302 When did this start? 103 00:05:09,386 --> 00:05:11,470 Right after we started divorce proceedings. 104 00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:13,305 I checked with my doctor. I'm fine. 105 00:05:13,389 --> 00:05:15,182 It's a reaction to stress. 106 00:05:15,266 --> 00:05:18,351 It's my way of escaping the frustration of the whole ugly mess. 107 00:05:18,435 --> 00:05:20,562 I'm terribly sorry. Go on with what you were saying. 108 00:05:20,646 --> 00:05:22,814 Well, well, obviously Lilith is distraught 109 00:05:22,898 --> 00:05:25,524 and she's come to me to help her make sense of the whole thing. 110 00:05:25,608 --> 00:05:28,027 But I find it just a bit disconcerting. 111 00:05:28,111 --> 00:05:30,738 -How so? -Well, we have a destructive pattern. 112 00:05:30,822 --> 00:05:34,116 Whenever she comes to me in need, I find her vulnerability highly desirable. 113 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,868 Against my better judgment, we end up in bed 114 00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,802 and I'm left with feelings of regret. 115 00:05:38,078 --> 00:05:39,871 And you felt this way about her today? 116 00:05:39,955 --> 00:05:40,873 Oh, baby. 117 00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:46,795 Well, do your best to avoid her. 118 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:49,339 Well, I can't. She's joining us at the Union Club tonight. 119 00:05:49,423 --> 00:05:51,006 What? She's going to be there? 120 00:05:51,090 --> 00:05:53,550 Come on, Niles, it's just a bunch of stuffed shirts talking 121 00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,260 about their portfolios and prostates. 122 00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,894 -[CELL PHONE RINGS] -Exactly and you've ruined it. 123 00:05:58,306 --> 00:05:59,264 Excuse me. 124 00:05:59,348 --> 00:06:00,183 Yes? 125 00:06:01,058 --> 00:06:01,975 Damn! 126 00:06:02,059 --> 00:06:04,477 -It's one of Maris' cadre of lawyers. -Mm. 127 00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,438 Uh, we've been over that. 128 00:06:07,522 --> 00:06:08,398 No, I can't. 129 00:06:09,274 --> 00:06:10,274 How dare you! 130 00:06:10,358 --> 00:06:11,901 She already has the house. 131 00:06:11,985 --> 00:06:14,085 I'm not even allowed to visit the koi pond. 132 00:06:14,446 --> 00:06:15,946 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 133 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:17,531 [SNORING] 134 00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,244 -Niles! -I'm not even allowed 135 00:06:22,328 --> 00:06:24,830 -to visit the koi pond. -Oh, here, give me that! 136 00:06:25,414 --> 00:06:26,665 He will call you back. 137 00:06:28,374 --> 00:06:29,542 Aren't we a pair? 138 00:06:29,626 --> 00:06:32,670 A narcoleptic and a weak-willed sexual obsessive. 139 00:06:32,754 --> 00:06:35,554 We look like a couple of brothers out of an O'Neill play. 140 00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:39,844 Come on, boy, come on. 141 00:06:39,928 --> 00:06:42,053 Hey, Daph, come down here. I taught him a new trick. 142 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:43,805 Oh, I love animal tricks. 143 00:06:43,889 --> 00:06:45,348 I was reading in a movie magazine, 144 00:06:45,432 --> 00:06:49,310 there's this stunt dog that they taught to ride a motorcycle into a burning building, 145 00:06:49,394 --> 00:06:52,772 pick up a baby in its teeth and jump out the window to safety. 146 00:06:52,856 --> 00:06:54,148 What'd you teach Eddie? 147 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:56,984 To roll over. 148 00:06:58,527 --> 00:07:00,196 You must be very proud. 149 00:07:01,906 --> 00:07:03,756 -[DOORBELL RINGS] -Forget it, Eddie. 150 00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:08,077 -Oh, hey, Niles. -Evening, Dad. 151 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,163 -Daphne. -FRASIER: hello, Niles. 152 00:07:10,247 --> 00:07:12,373 Sherry? I think we have time before Lilith arrives. 153 00:07:12,457 --> 00:07:14,292 What? You never said she was coming up here! 154 00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:18,087 -You just said you were going to dinner. -You never said she was coming up here! 155 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:21,214 It's just to rendezvous. It's all of two minutes. 156 00:07:21,298 --> 00:07:23,175 You never told me! You've been home an hour. 157 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:25,135 You never told me! Did he say anything to you? 158 00:07:25,219 --> 00:07:28,346 No, nothing. You could've told us. We could've made plans to be elsewhere. 159 00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:30,891 How come you didn't know? You used to know these things. 160 00:07:30,975 --> 00:07:32,349 You usually get a headache. 161 00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,684 All right, she's coming! 162 00:07:33,768 --> 00:07:35,103 Both of you, suck it up! 163 00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:39,106 Lilith has had a devastating week. 164 00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:40,900 Her husband has left her. 165 00:07:40,984 --> 00:07:43,027 The least you can do is show a little compassion, 166 00:07:43,111 --> 00:07:44,777 unless you'd like to go hide in your rooms 167 00:07:44,861 --> 00:07:48,698 because two minutes of polite conversation with a woman in need is too much to ask. 168 00:07:48,782 --> 00:07:50,158 -[DOORBELL RINGS] -Out of my way! 169 00:07:50,242 --> 00:07:51,118 Me too! 170 00:07:52,619 --> 00:07:53,453 Leave it! 171 00:07:58,874 --> 00:08:02,502 Remember, Frasier, I'm here for you if you feel yourself starting to weaken. 172 00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:03,671 I'm fine. 173 00:08:04,422 --> 00:08:07,633 Believe me, I am in complete control. 174 00:08:08,592 --> 00:08:09,509 Oh, baby. 175 00:08:12,262 --> 00:08:14,222 Thank you, Frasier. I needed that. 176 00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:17,656 I treated myself to a little shopping this afternoon. 177 00:08:17,976 --> 00:08:19,977 Probably just a pathetic attempt to compensate 178 00:08:20,061 --> 00:08:22,687 for the battering my ego's taken recently. 179 00:08:22,771 --> 00:08:24,481 It's pretty transparent, huh? 180 00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:27,026 -No but if you stand in the light… -Frasier. 181 00:08:30,154 --> 00:08:34,282 Niles, sorry to hear your marriage ended in a shambles. 182 00:08:34,366 --> 00:08:35,283 Ditto. 183 00:08:39,579 --> 00:08:42,998 Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, let me take your wrap. 184 00:08:43,082 --> 00:08:43,916 Thank you. 185 00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:46,252 Yowza! 186 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,671 Oh, Lilith, that dress is stunning. 187 00:08:49,755 --> 00:08:52,005 -Frasier, may I see you in the kitchen? -No! 188 00:08:54,426 --> 00:08:56,886 It's from a new couture line called Encore. 189 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,348 Oh, well, bravo! 190 00:09:00,598 --> 00:09:02,516 I can almost feel the curtain rising. 191 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,434 Frasier! 192 00:09:04,685 --> 00:09:06,395 Excuse us, we'll be right back. 193 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,938 Eddie will entertain you. 194 00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:12,443 Hello, Eddie. 195 00:09:16,029 --> 00:09:17,864 Damn her lily-white hide! 196 00:09:18,573 --> 00:09:20,283 She knows what she's doing dressing like that! 197 00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:23,786 The woman plays me like a lute. Well, I guess you know a thing or two about that. 198 00:09:23,870 --> 00:09:26,246 My God, look at me, I've got all the resistance of a horny stag. 199 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:29,165 Niles, you've gotta help me through this. Niles? 200 00:09:29,249 --> 00:09:30,084 Niles? 201 00:09:35,547 --> 00:09:36,381 Did I do it again? 202 00:09:36,465 --> 00:09:39,425 Yes. You fell asleep with your cheek right against the ice tray. 203 00:09:39,509 --> 00:09:42,261 That's so strange. I dreamt I was tangoing with Maris. 204 00:09:45,264 --> 00:09:48,475 Niles, I need your help resisting Lilith. 205 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,478 All right, let me think, let me think. 206 00:09:51,186 --> 00:09:53,396 -I think I have the answer. -Thank you. 207 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,940 When you feel yourself yielding to her, summon an image 208 00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,724 so repellent, you'll be incapable of any sexual desire. 209 00:10:00,362 --> 00:10:02,488 Remember the summer we were at Uncle Henry's farm, 210 00:10:02,572 --> 00:10:06,325 we found that dead horse lying in the hot sun, crawling with maggots? 211 00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:07,451 Yes, yes, of course. 212 00:10:07,535 --> 00:10:10,579 Hold on to that picture. You can ride that horse to safety. 213 00:10:12,164 --> 00:10:15,000 Thank you, Niles. You know that might just do the trick. 214 00:10:15,084 --> 00:10:18,128 When it comes to an ugly image, you can't beat a dead horse. 215 00:10:22,674 --> 00:10:25,760 -All right, feel up to facing her again? -Yes. 216 00:10:25,844 --> 00:10:27,470 Let her bat her eyes all she wants to. 217 00:10:27,554 --> 00:10:30,180 She can push her breasts up to Canada! I won't budge! 218 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,067 Morning. 219 00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:46,404 Morning. 220 00:11:04,546 --> 00:11:06,381 -[GASPS] -My God. 221 00:11:07,256 --> 00:11:09,132 What did we do? What did we do? 222 00:11:09,216 --> 00:11:11,426 Well, first you put your… 223 00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:13,596 I know what we did. What do we do now? 224 00:11:15,222 --> 00:11:16,515 Let's try to stay calm. 225 00:11:16,599 --> 00:11:17,725 These things happen. 226 00:11:18,434 --> 00:11:19,643 They happen every day. 227 00:11:20,351 --> 00:11:21,769 Every day in Arkansas! 228 00:11:28,151 --> 00:11:29,819 Frasier is going to kill us! 229 00:11:29,903 --> 00:11:33,822 Oh, why did you have to look so damned bewitching all evening? 230 00:11:33,906 --> 00:11:36,699 Why'd you have to drive me home and walk me to my door? 231 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,494 Oh, there's no point in pointing fingers. 232 00:11:39,578 --> 00:11:41,205 We both know why this happened. 233 00:11:41,663 --> 00:11:46,458 Last night was simply two wounded people overcome with loneliness 234 00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:49,545 -and confusion and… -Tequila shooters. 235 00:11:51,506 --> 00:11:52,631 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 236 00:11:52,715 --> 00:11:53,799 Who's that? 237 00:11:53,883 --> 00:11:55,843 Don't panic. No one knows we're here. 238 00:11:55,927 --> 00:11:57,553 I told Frasier I was driving you home. 239 00:11:57,637 --> 00:12:00,179 Why did you do a stupid thing like that? 240 00:12:00,263 --> 00:12:01,931 Well, it wasn't stupid at the time! 241 00:12:02,015 --> 00:12:03,391 How did I know the minute we got here 242 00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:05,525 you'd be on me like a hawk on a titmouse? 243 00:12:08,021 --> 00:12:10,357 -[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -Just be quiet. 244 00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:13,108 -[CLEARS THROAT] Who is it? -MAN: Room service, ma'am. 245 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,401 Oh, that's right. 246 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:16,195 We ordered breakfast last night. 247 00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:18,572 Good morning, ma'am. 248 00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:19,614 Good morning, sir. 249 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,159 I have Eggs Benedict and Eggs Florentine. 250 00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:23,617 Oh, did you bring ketchup? 251 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,204 Oh, no. I'm sorry. Let me get that for you right now. 252 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,956 Ketchup on Eggs Florentine? 253 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,542 Oh, your first breakfast together? 254 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:32,460 Just get it. 255 00:12:36,129 --> 00:12:37,673 Now I remember ordering this. 256 00:12:38,298 --> 00:12:41,148 It's the breakfast I always have after a night of passion. 257 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,760 Eggs Benedict? 258 00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:44,012 That's very rich. 259 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,514 I only have it once a year. 260 00:12:50,476 --> 00:12:51,602 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 261 00:12:52,353 --> 00:12:53,229 That was quick. 262 00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:55,689 -FRASIER: Lilith, are you awake? -It's Frasier! 263 00:12:55,773 --> 00:12:56,982 Oh, my God! 264 00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:58,650 -Just a second. -What do we do? 265 00:12:58,734 --> 00:12:59,860 Hide in the bathroom. 266 00:13:03,738 --> 00:13:05,073 No, not you! 267 00:13:05,991 --> 00:13:07,116 Wait a minute! Wait. 268 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,451 Take the cart with you. 269 00:13:08,994 --> 00:13:11,454 -Wait! Food in the bathroom? -Go! 270 00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:15,499 FRASIER: Lilith? 271 00:13:18,502 --> 00:13:19,336 Hello, Frasier. 272 00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:21,004 What are you doing here? 273 00:13:21,088 --> 00:13:23,632 Surrendering, Lilith. I'm yours. 274 00:13:23,716 --> 00:13:26,384 -Oh, no, Frasier. -Oh, please, please, don't punish me 275 00:13:26,468 --> 00:13:29,553 for playing hard-to-get last night. It was everything I had to resist you. 276 00:13:29,637 --> 00:13:32,181 -Well, this isn't right. -Oh, who cares? 277 00:13:32,265 --> 00:13:34,850 Can you honestly tell me that when you were lying in your bed last night, 278 00:13:34,934 --> 00:13:37,478 -you weren't thinking about me? -Yes. 279 00:13:38,479 --> 00:13:40,355 Oh, drop the mask, Lilith. 280 00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:42,023 We both know why you came to Seattle. 281 00:13:42,107 --> 00:13:44,859 We both know why you dressed so enticingly last night. 282 00:13:44,943 --> 00:13:46,028 [TOILET FLUSHING] 283 00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:54,535 -Is someone in your bathroom? -No. 284 00:13:54,619 --> 00:13:55,828 It's a defective toilet. 285 00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:57,996 It's been doing that all night. 286 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,249 I think I'll just go check it right now. 287 00:14:03,544 --> 00:14:04,961 -Niles! -Yes? 288 00:14:06,588 --> 00:14:08,381 You fell asleep and flushed the toilet. 289 00:14:08,465 --> 00:14:10,800 Damn! Is he still here? 290 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,094 Yes. He wants to make love to me. 291 00:14:13,178 --> 00:14:14,846 Does the man have no scruples? 292 00:14:17,307 --> 00:14:20,350 He specifically asked me last night to keep him away from you 293 00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,519 but the minute my back is turned, he sneaks back here 294 00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:24,253 and, yes, I'm aware of the irony. 295 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,273 I'll just ask him to leave. 296 00:14:31,027 --> 00:14:32,028 My God. 297 00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:34,197 My goddess! 298 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,620 -[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -MAN: Room service. 299 00:14:41,704 --> 00:14:42,746 Go away. 300 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,581 MAN: No, I have your ketchup, ma'am. 301 00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:45,999 Not necessary. 302 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,625 MAN: But I need the bill. 303 00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:51,004 -Later! -Well, let's just take care of this. 304 00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:55,509 I'm sorry to disturb you. Here's the… ketchup. 305 00:14:56,509 --> 00:14:58,219 Sorry it took so long. 306 00:15:00,096 --> 00:15:02,473 Uh, I still need the bill. 307 00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:04,767 Where's the cart? 308 00:15:07,436 --> 00:15:08,561 In the bathroom. 309 00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:10,271 Why is the breakfast cart in the bathroom? 310 00:15:10,355 --> 00:15:14,942 Uh, I was going to take a hot bath while I ate. 311 00:15:15,026 --> 00:15:17,696 Still, food in the bathroom. 312 00:15:19,656 --> 00:15:20,532 Be right back. 313 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,954 -Well, this is a little embarrassing. -Yes. 314 00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:31,625 My ex-wife. We're sort of reconnecting. 315 00:15:31,709 --> 00:15:33,918 Yes, sir, that's, uh, wonderful. 316 00:15:35,086 --> 00:15:37,296 Who knows? It may just work out this time. 317 00:15:38,047 --> 00:15:38,965 Okay. 318 00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:43,385 There you go. 319 00:15:43,469 --> 00:15:45,929 There's a generous, generous tip in there for you. 320 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,389 -Thank you, ma'am. -Say, listen, while you're still here, 321 00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:50,767 why don't you send up an order of Eggs Benedict? 322 00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,894 No reason why she should eat alone. 323 00:15:54,563 --> 00:15:55,397 Okay. 324 00:15:58,608 --> 00:16:00,776 Now, where were we? 325 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,944 This isn't a good time for this, really. 326 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,405 Why not, Lilith? Please, we're alone. 327 00:16:05,489 --> 00:16:07,908 We're here. You need your Frasier. 328 00:16:07,992 --> 00:16:09,326 [METAL CLANGING] 329 00:16:10,286 --> 00:16:11,911 What the hell was that? 330 00:16:11,995 --> 00:16:14,095 Wait, Frasier, no, don't go in there! Wait! 331 00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,166 -Niles! -Yes? 332 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,127 My God! 333 00:16:19,919 --> 00:16:22,004 -Frasier, I'm sorry. -Frasier, it was a mistake. 334 00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:24,256 -Oh, my God! -It was a terrible, misguided mistake. 335 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:26,633 Stop it, Niles! Stop it! Don't tell me how it was! 336 00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,470 -I've just gotta get out of here! -Oh, Frasier, you… 337 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:32,931 This is my worst nightmare. 338 00:16:33,015 --> 00:16:34,265 You have egg on your face. 339 00:16:34,349 --> 00:16:37,268 -That is an understatement! -No, actual egg. 340 00:16:39,395 --> 00:16:40,480 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 341 00:16:41,564 --> 00:16:42,857 It's in your hair too. 342 00:16:43,983 --> 00:16:47,653 -I knew you couldn't stay mad at us. -I'm in a bathrobe, you jackass! 343 00:16:51,364 --> 00:16:53,950 I can understand your shock and, believe me, 344 00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:56,786 if I could erase everything that happened last night, I would. 345 00:16:56,870 --> 00:17:00,332 But if you could just look at this rationally, just for a moment, 346 00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:04,167 we didn't technically do anything wrong. 347 00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:05,085 What? 348 00:17:05,711 --> 00:17:07,963 You didn't do anything wrong? 349 00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:11,597 I'm a little unclear on that myself but I'm willing to go along with it. 350 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,553 You are I are no longer married. 351 00:17:14,637 --> 00:17:15,678 Neither is Niles. 352 00:17:15,762 --> 00:17:19,432 I won't say this is my shining hour but we are not responsible 353 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,726 to you or anyone else for our actions. 354 00:17:21,810 --> 00:17:24,604 -You're actually defending what you did? -Just listen. 355 00:17:26,105 --> 00:17:29,065 The past few days have been the worst of my life. 356 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,819 I have never been less self-assured, more in need of validation, 357 00:17:32,903 --> 00:17:35,363 both as a person and especially as a woman. 358 00:17:35,447 --> 00:17:37,198 Niles was feeling the same thing. 359 00:17:37,282 --> 00:17:39,284 Exactly. Wait a minute. 360 00:17:41,786 --> 00:17:44,413 Our physical reaction to each other was nothing more 361 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:48,292 than a desperate attempt to reaffirm our own worth. 362 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:54,339 Well, that is very impressive, Dr. Sternin. 363 00:17:55,882 --> 00:17:57,926 But I, too, happen to be a psychiatrist. 364 00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:01,679 Let me tell you what actually transpired. 365 00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:05,349 This was a passive-aggressive manifestation 366 00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:07,225 of your deep resentments toward me. 367 00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:10,270 Niles, you were punishing me for my notoriety. 368 00:18:10,354 --> 00:18:12,898 You, for my successful adjustment after our divorce. 369 00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:14,983 It is this shared bond 370 00:18:15,067 --> 00:18:19,111 that brought the two of you to your palace of sweet revenge. 371 00:18:19,195 --> 00:18:22,281 Allow me to rebut, what a crock! 372 00:18:22,365 --> 00:18:24,033 -It is not! -It is so! 373 00:18:24,117 --> 00:18:26,619 This is yet another example of your complete self-absorption 374 00:18:26,703 --> 00:18:29,246 which is the reason we could not stay together in the first place. 375 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,749 I have a right to… Why am I defending myself? 376 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:35,126 If you ask me, you are both off the mark. 377 00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:39,881 Last night was about two people ruled by very powerful superegos, 378 00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:42,258 tortured by them, who found a chance, 379 00:18:42,342 --> 00:18:47,095 however misguided, to break through and rediscover their ids together. 380 00:18:47,179 --> 00:18:49,515 Call me an old softy, but that's how I see it. 381 00:18:53,102 --> 00:18:54,186 Okay, then. 382 00:18:56,522 --> 00:19:01,192 The three of us have certainly analyzed the crap out of this. 383 00:19:03,612 --> 00:19:06,823 Yes, where do we all go from here? 384 00:19:08,283 --> 00:19:09,200 I don't know. 385 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:11,076 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 386 00:19:13,078 --> 00:19:14,162 That's my cell phone. 387 00:19:14,246 --> 00:19:15,497 It's in my jacket pocket. 388 00:19:19,251 --> 00:19:20,168 Hello, Niles Crane. 389 00:19:20,252 --> 00:19:24,046 You realize, if you had simply given in to me last night instead of this morning, 390 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,173 the three of us would not be in this hell. 391 00:19:26,257 --> 00:19:29,844 No, it would be the two of us in a whole different hell. 392 00:19:31,054 --> 00:19:32,388 Well, I don't give a damn! 393 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,473 I've been manipulated by you jackals enough. 394 00:19:34,557 --> 00:19:35,849 I'll see you in court! 395 00:19:36,558 --> 00:19:39,311 The very idea that Maris still thinks she can… 396 00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:42,856 Hey, I'm not sleeping. 397 00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:46,234 That conversation should have put me out like a light. 398 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:47,901 LILITH: Well, it's not surprising. 399 00:19:47,985 --> 00:19:50,612 Your experience with Maris has been emasculating. 400 00:19:50,696 --> 00:19:54,575 Last night may have gone a long way toward restoring your self-confidence. 401 00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:56,202 Of course. 402 00:19:56,994 --> 00:20:00,538 And by the same token, you can now give up the neurotic assumption 403 00:20:00,622 --> 00:20:02,665 that Brian left you because you're unattractive. 404 00:20:02,749 --> 00:20:04,834 You have ample evidence to the contrary. 405 00:20:04,918 --> 00:20:06,252 Yes, I have. 406 00:20:06,336 --> 00:20:07,545 Well, to hell with Brian. 407 00:20:07,629 --> 00:20:10,173 If he wants a prissy little wife, he can keep Stan. 408 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:14,760 Well, isn't this peachy? 409 00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:19,014 Everything's turned out just fine for everyone. 410 00:20:19,098 --> 00:20:20,557 You two have solved your problems. 411 00:20:20,641 --> 00:20:23,101 The waiter received a handsome tip. 412 00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:24,811 Niles and I have matching bathrobes. 413 00:20:24,895 --> 00:20:27,105 And lookie here, it's not even 9:30 yet. 414 00:20:31,025 --> 00:20:33,193 Frasier, try to understand. 415 00:20:33,277 --> 00:20:36,614 -Yes, what happened last night was just… -Oh, stop it, both of you. 416 00:20:36,698 --> 00:20:40,325 Enough! It happened and I'm just going to have to deal with it. 417 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,788 I suppose in a twisted way there is one positive for me in this. 418 00:20:45,872 --> 00:20:49,167 You see, Lilith, I have never stopped desiring you, 419 00:20:49,251 --> 00:20:52,169 even though I know we are completely wrong for each other. 420 00:20:52,712 --> 00:20:56,965 But now, from this day forward, whenever I look at your face, 421 00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,760 I will see the back of my brother's head! 422 00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:05,432 And that is one bucket of ice water, let me tell you. 423 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:09,977 -You know, Frasier… -Enough, Lilith. 424 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:10,895 All right. 425 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,276 Maybe I'll just go… 426 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,529 Have some breakfast. 427 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:23,824 [DOOR CLOSES] 428 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:27,828 Are we okay? 429 00:21:29,787 --> 00:21:30,621 No, we're not. 430 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,084 But we will be. 431 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,463 Well, that's enough for now. 432 00:21:42,549 --> 00:21:44,449 We're an odd little family, aren't we? 433 00:21:47,679 --> 00:21:49,973 -[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -MAN: Room service. 434 00:21:54,102 --> 00:21:56,402 Here's your Eggs Benedict. If you could just… 435 00:22:03,903 --> 00:22:04,737 Okay. 436 00:22:10,992 --> 00:22:12,076 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 437 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,524 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 438 00:22:14,608 --> 00:22:16,664 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 439 00:22:17,123 --> 00:22:18,249 Oh, my. 440 00:22:19,042 --> 00:22:21,251 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 441 00:22:21,335 --> 00:22:23,837 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 442 00:22:23,921 --> 00:22:26,089 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 443 00:22:26,173 --> 00:22:27,799 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 444 00:22:27,883 --> 00:22:31,136 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 445 00:22:32,137 --> 00:22:34,138 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 446 00:22:34,847 --> 00:22:36,015 Thank you!