1
00:00:02,338 --> 00:00:04,340
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:12,472
-Now for a difficult one.
-NILES: Mm-hmm.
3
00:00:12,556 --> 00:00:13,598
Mm. Mm-hmm.
4
00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:19,604
Umm. Firm, velvety rind, bit smoky.
5
00:00:19,688 --> 00:00:22,649
-Mmm. Apple wood, I think.
-Oui.
6
00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:26,027
This is what I get for sending
you to sleepaway camp in France.
7
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,112
Can I help you with
anything else, monsieur?
8
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,867
No, thanks.
This $6 can of dog food will be fine.
9
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,578
It'll sure teach me not to leave my
shopping until the last minute again.
10
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,955
Oh! Is it Reblochon?
11
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,208
You are good, Dr. Crane.
12
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,418
Yeah, he's a regular cheese whiz.
13
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:48,172
I'll take a half a pound of the Reblochon
and a half pound of Saint-André,
14
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:52,218
and, I know I ask this every week, but…
is it here?
15
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,886
Is what here?
16
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,764
You know very well what I mean.
The imported Swiss prosciutto.
17
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,849
Ah, the Bündnerfleisch.
18
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,434
I am sorry.
19
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:04,187
-If only you had been here one hour ago…
-Damn!
20
00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:05,981
…you would have seen it arrive.
21
00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:09,192
Oh! Oh!
22
00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,778
-I have my fun with you.
-You do, Robert.
23
00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:14,739
You make me long for the days
when you barely spoke English. Slice!
24
00:01:14,823 --> 00:01:16,908
Slice like the wind. I'll take a pound.
25
00:01:16,992 --> 00:01:18,117
Whoa.
26
00:01:18,201 --> 00:01:21,870
Eighteen dollars a pound?
This salami's good but it's not that good.
27
00:01:21,954 --> 00:01:24,498
That saucisson was aged for six months
28
00:01:24,582 --> 00:01:27,584
and air-cured in a small village
at the foot of the Pyrenees.
29
00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:29,044
It's a steal at that price.
30
00:01:29,128 --> 00:01:30,546
You got that right, pal.
31
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:33,382
Uh, Dad, if you want to wait
outside, I'll be through in a minute.
32
00:01:33,466 --> 00:01:35,050
Nah, I'm fine.
33
00:01:35,134 --> 00:01:37,844
Ho-ho, look at all these
different kinds of olive oil.
34
00:01:37,928 --> 00:01:40,138
Virgin, extra virgin.
35
00:01:41,556 --> 00:01:42,682
Extra virgin?
36
00:01:43,725 --> 00:01:44,768
How does that work?
37
00:01:46,603 --> 00:01:48,855
Well, I guess if you can cure a sausage…
38
00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:55,444
Monsieur, I am so glad
you find my food so amusing.
39
00:01:55,528 --> 00:01:57,028
Oh, Robert, he's only joking.
40
00:01:57,112 --> 00:01:58,155
Keep on slicing.
41
00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,239
No, come on, now.
42
00:01:59,323 --> 00:02:01,658
Even you've got to admit
this whole store is kind of nutty.
43
00:02:01,742 --> 00:02:03,618
-ROBERT: Pardon?
-Fourteen dollars for a pound
44
00:02:03,702 --> 00:02:04,536
of goat cheese?
45
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:07,620
Gosh, for that price, I ought
to be able to get a whole goat.
46
00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:10,542
And we're slicing.
47
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:15,296
Perhaps, monsieur, you would be more
comfortable if you just waited outside.
48
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:17,506
You want me to leave, come
out and say it in plain English.
49
00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:20,968
-Fine. Leave from my store.
-Okay, no problem. Come on, Niles.
50
00:02:21,052 --> 00:02:22,470
You heard the man.
51
00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:24,096
He wants us to [FRENCH ACCENT]
leave from his store.
52
00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:26,390
-Don't hurry back.
-[NORMAL VOICE] Don't worry.
53
00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:29,768
All the money in the world wouldn't
get me back in this snob shop.
54
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,146
That man is my father.
55
00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,982
So, obviously, I can't leave here
with a bag full of your merchandise.
56
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,651
-Home delivery?
-Thank you.
57
00:02:39,486 --> 00:02:41,154
No one treats my father that way!
58
00:02:41,238 --> 00:02:42,614
Those olives too. No one!
59
00:02:48,578 --> 00:02:50,454
-[DOOR OPENS]
-[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
60
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,457
About the photo shoot tomorrow,
will you be needing makeup?
61
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,500
Oh, heavens, no.
62
00:02:54,584 --> 00:02:58,587
That's a good choice, because I think
that you look very handsome without it.
63
00:02:58,671 --> 00:03:03,382
Really? Well, I think you look
very attractive with makeup.
64
00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:05,176
Not that I'm saying you need makeup.
65
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,930
It's just that, if indeed you are
wearing makeup, it's so artfully applied
66
00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,682
that I wouldn't even know
you're wearing makeup. Uh…
67
00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:14,266
Bet it looks like I'm wearing
some rouge right now.
68
00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:16,979
-I know what you meant. And thank you.
-Oh.
69
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:20,106
Oh, Dr. Crane, um, I've
been meaning to ask you,
70
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:23,693
what do you think about two
people who work together dating?
71
00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:26,905
Oh, well, Sharon, I'm
asked that question a lot,
72
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,199
and let me tell you, the stark reality is
73
00:03:29,283 --> 00:03:31,118
that situation is fraught with…
74
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,456
Delightful possibilities.
75
00:03:36,539 --> 00:03:38,415
So are you free on Friday?
76
00:03:38,499 --> 00:03:41,669
Uh, Friday? Yes, Friday it is.
After the show.
77
00:03:41,753 --> 00:03:43,295
-Great.
-Great.
78
00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:44,839
-Okay.
-Uh, bye.
79
00:03:48,343 --> 00:03:49,927
-Dr. Crane.
-Yes.
80
00:03:50,011 --> 00:03:53,429
Clint Webber. The station just hired me
to host the new show on health issues.
81
00:03:53,513 --> 00:03:56,432
Yes, of course. Dr. Webber.
Well, welcome to KACL.
82
00:03:56,516 --> 00:03:58,977
I understand I'm in your debt for
recommending my audition tape.
83
00:03:59,061 --> 00:04:01,604
Oh, not at all.
It was very good, very good indeed.
84
00:04:01,688 --> 00:04:03,606
Besides, we'd all gotten
a bit tired of the last show
85
00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:07,110
that was in that time slot,
Bert, the Backyard Gardener.
86
00:04:07,903 --> 00:04:11,697
Rumored that his latest crop gave
new meaning to the term "potting shed."
87
00:04:13,866 --> 00:04:15,743
Ah, perfect timing. Come, Clint.
88
00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:19,913
Roz Doyle, my producer.
89
00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:23,250
This is Dr. Clint Webber,
the new host of Health Watch.
90
00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:25,335
-Hi.
-Hi. Great to meet you.
91
00:04:25,419 --> 00:04:28,004
So, uh, you're new.
92
00:04:28,088 --> 00:04:29,255
That's right.
93
00:04:29,339 --> 00:04:30,464
And a doctor?
94
00:04:30,548 --> 00:04:31,675
That's right.
95
00:04:32,884 --> 00:04:34,970
[CHORTLES]
96
00:04:39,057 --> 00:04:41,017
I don't wanna be late
for that station tour.
97
00:04:41,101 --> 00:04:43,936
No, no, no.
Well, again, welcome aboard, Clint.
98
00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:45,604
Oh, my gosh.
99
00:04:45,688 --> 00:04:47,439
Could I have acted any goofier?
100
00:04:47,523 --> 00:04:49,441
Not without a set of fake buck teeth.
101
00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:51,735
He's so handsome.
102
00:04:51,819 --> 00:04:54,446
I can't work with someone that handsome.
No offense.
103
00:04:54,530 --> 00:04:55,697
Oh, none taken.
104
00:04:55,781 --> 00:04:57,866
Granted, when it comes
to the looks department,
105
00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,743
Dr. Webber and I aren't
exactly in the same…
106
00:04:59,827 --> 00:05:00,744
Species?
107
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:06,874
Well, I was going to say league,
but species is so much more insulting.
108
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,045
This stinks! This is total BS!
109
00:05:11,129 --> 00:05:12,963
The chicks are all going
nuts over this Webber guy.
110
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,840
I'm supposed to be the
only sex symbol around here.
111
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:17,093
Wait, look at this, look at this. Come on.
112
00:05:18,011 --> 00:05:20,178
Come on, take your best shot.
No… No, whoa!
113
00:05:20,262 --> 00:05:21,680
Not you. One of those guys.
114
00:05:22,597 --> 00:05:25,099
Bulldog, you're behaving
immaturely even for you.
115
00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:28,269
The man is handsome, but
there's no reason to feel threatened.
116
00:05:28,353 --> 00:05:31,773
I must confess, I didn't notice
he was all that handsome.
117
00:05:33,817 --> 00:05:35,735
You didn't notice?
118
00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,361
You of all people?
119
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:40,698
Just what are you insinuating?
120
00:05:41,949 --> 00:05:45,285
Well, you know, that you're a little, uh…
121
00:05:45,369 --> 00:05:48,664
For your information, I happen
to be a happily married man.
122
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,252
You're married?
123
00:05:55,587 --> 00:05:56,546
To a woman?
124
00:05:58,256 --> 00:05:59,674
Of course to a woman.
125
00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:01,801
You've all heard me mention Deb.
126
00:06:01,885 --> 00:06:04,011
How often have I said, "I
must be running along now.
127
00:06:04,095 --> 00:06:05,429
Deb will be waiting"?
128
00:06:05,513 --> 00:06:06,889
We thought Deb was your cat.
129
00:06:06,973 --> 00:06:07,932
She is not a cat.
130
00:06:09,225 --> 00:06:12,560
She is Mrs. Gilbert Leslie
Chesterton, a Sarah Lawrence graduate
131
00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:15,898
and the owner of a very
successful auto body repair shop.
132
00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:20,652
Honestly, the conclusions people make
133
00:06:20,736 --> 00:06:24,031
just because a man dresses well
and knows how to use a pastry bag.
134
00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:31,913
Well… that's the first time I've
ever seen a man "in" himself.
135
00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:40,963
Dad, I can't help noticing
Eddie's looking a bit glum.
136
00:06:41,047 --> 00:06:42,298
Yeah, he's mad at me.
137
00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:47,593
I gave him a can of that dog food from
your fancy gourmet place the other day.
138
00:06:47,677 --> 00:06:48,970
-He didn't like it?
-No, he loved it.
139
00:06:49,054 --> 00:06:51,264
-Now he won't eat anything else.
-Oh.
140
00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:55,309
Even turned his nose up at a
kosher pickle, and he loves those.
141
00:06:55,393 --> 00:06:57,895
And the bad thing is I
called all over Seattle,
142
00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:00,606
and Frenchy's the only
one who carries that stuff.
143
00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:02,567
I don't suppose you'd
consider apologizing?
144
00:07:02,651 --> 00:07:05,110
Forget it. I'm never setting
foot in that store again.
145
00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:09,197
Well, if things get worse, there is a
technique of sleep-feeding I know.
146
00:07:09,281 --> 00:07:12,034
It involves an eyedropper and
a high-fructose protein shake.
147
00:07:12,118 --> 00:07:13,410
I don't know about that.
148
00:07:13,494 --> 00:07:14,829
Well, it worked on Maris.
149
00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:18,832
-Hello, Niles, Dad.
-Hi, how you doing?
150
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,125
-Hi, Roz.
-MARTIN: Hey, Roz.
151
00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:21,167
-Hi.
-How you doing?
152
00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:22,418
Hello. Hell…
153
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:26,214
-Frasier, are you aware…
-FRASIER: Yes, I'm aware.
154
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,841
They've been taking
publicity photos today.
155
00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:31,260
I had an allergic reaction to
the makeup I was wearing.
156
00:07:31,344 --> 00:07:33,429
I wasn't even planning on wearing makeup,
157
00:07:33,513 --> 00:07:35,639
but there's a handsome
new employee at the station.
158
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,475
Everybody's feeling
insecure about their looks.
159
00:07:37,559 --> 00:07:40,977
They were all slapping their
makeup on, so I, too, gave in to vanity.
160
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:46,441
And, like Icarus flying too close
to the sun, I, too, paid the price.
161
00:07:46,525 --> 00:07:48,193
-Wow.
-Thank you, Dad.
162
00:07:48,277 --> 00:07:51,237
I don't like to go to the mythology
well too often, but that was spot-on.
163
00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:53,615
No, I mean that guy. He's so handsome.
164
00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:56,658
-It's him! It's Dr. Webber!
-Roz, that's enough of this.
165
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:57,993
Well, he is striking.
166
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,161
Frasier's just jealous.
167
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,788
Oh, I am not jealous.
168
00:08:00,872 --> 00:08:02,664
Yes, the man is handsome.
169
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,501
But I'm sure there's a number of
areas in which I am his superior.
170
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,171
You know, let's not forget that
good looks can be a mixed blessing.
171
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,006
People roll out the red carpet for you,
172
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:14,176
but that robs you of any
incentive to develop other qualities.
173
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:17,428
After a while you are
left an aging Narcissus,
174
00:08:17,512 --> 00:08:19,263
bent to the water's edge,
175
00:08:19,347 --> 00:08:24,227
realizing those lines in
the pond aren't ripples.
176
00:08:24,311 --> 00:08:25,312
They're wrinkles.
177
00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:27,647
Amazing.
178
00:08:27,731 --> 00:08:29,357
Thank you. I rather liked that one myself.
179
00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:31,692
That guy could be a movie star.
180
00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:35,487
Roz, don't we have work to do? Shall we?
181
00:08:35,571 --> 00:08:37,656
Oh, no, take this table. I have a session.
182
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:39,616
Yeah, I gotta go too.
183
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,869
Like Zeus riding his
thunderbolt to Mount Vesuvius…
184
00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:44,997
Very amusing, Dad. Off you go.
185
00:08:45,831 --> 00:08:46,665
Dr. Crane.
186
00:08:46,749 --> 00:08:49,041
Oh. Well, Dr. Webber.
187
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:51,836
-You remember Roz Doyle, of course?
-Yes, hello.
188
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,504
[CHORTLES]
189
00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:56,715
Who could forget that infectious laugh?
190
00:08:56,799 --> 00:08:59,510
Speaking of which, has
anyone had a look at that rash?
191
00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,428
Oh, yes, everybody, yeah.
192
00:09:01,512 --> 00:09:02,847
So mind if I join you?
193
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:05,931
-Well, actually, we were just…
-We were hoping you would.
194
00:09:08,518 --> 00:09:12,480
So, Clint, I see that
you're a squash player.
195
00:09:12,564 --> 00:09:16,151
You know, if you're up for a game someday,
I used to play a bit back in Harvard.
196
00:09:16,235 --> 00:09:17,318
Well, I'd love to.
197
00:09:17,402 --> 00:09:19,779
Harvard?
Wow, I was dying to go to Harvard.
198
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,364
Well, I'm sure the school
you went to was just as good.
199
00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:24,700
-I went to Oxford.
-Oh, well, even better.
200
00:09:26,494 --> 00:09:28,078
Did you go to medical
school there as well?
201
00:09:28,162 --> 00:09:31,582
Yes, but I took a year off first to
get my master's in French history.
202
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:33,542
-Ah.
-Just wanted to do something fun.
203
00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:34,626
FRASIER: Mm-hmm.
204
00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:36,837
Does that mean you speak French?
205
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,963
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
206
00:09:39,047 --> 00:09:41,341
[ROZ EXHALES GUSTILY, CHORTLES]
207
00:09:42,008 --> 00:09:44,927
Yes, well, I too understand the
importance of taking some time off
208
00:09:45,011 --> 00:09:46,304
before beginning medical school.
209
00:09:46,388 --> 00:09:51,475
I spent that summer in Milan,
studying the history of opera.
210
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:53,769
In fact, I had the good fortune
to make an acquaintance
211
00:09:53,853 --> 00:09:57,022
and become friends with a
then little-known young tenor
212
00:09:57,106 --> 00:09:58,982
by the name of Carreras.
213
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,985
-José Carreras?
-[CHUCKLES] Forgive the name-dropping.
214
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,113
-He's my godfather.
-You're joking.
215
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,616
No, I'll call him tonight.
216
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,118
He'll be delighted to
hear I'm working with you.
217
00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:13,455
I'll be interested to see if he
remembers the game we used to play
218
00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:15,873
where we pretended not
to remember one another.
219
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:21,253
You know, Frasier, that
rash is starting to concern me.
220
00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:23,505
Maybe I'll just pop out to
the car and get my medical kit.
221
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,799
There's really no need.
222
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,442
Maybe we can get some
work done while he's gone.
223
00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:31,305
Oh, Roz, for heaven's sake.
224
00:10:31,847 --> 00:10:34,390
You behave like a starry-eyed bobby-soxer.
225
00:10:34,474 --> 00:10:38,061
Yes, the man is good-looking.
It's not like he can stop traffic.
226
00:10:38,145 --> 00:10:41,106
-[TIRES SCREECHING]
-[HORNS HONKING]
227
00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:45,549
There's a blind corner out there.
We don't know if that was him.
228
00:10:49,697 --> 00:10:51,073
How was your squash game?
229
00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:53,867
Oh, well, Dr. Webber neglected to mention
230
00:10:53,951 --> 00:10:56,579
that he was squash
champion back in college.
231
00:10:57,997 --> 00:10:59,164
I'm sorry, Frasier.
232
00:10:59,248 --> 00:11:01,625
Oh, no, not at all.
It was a lovely morning.
233
00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:03,919
Clint was gracious enough
to treat me to breakfast.
234
00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:07,255
Of course, once we arrived at Le
Relais, the chef had just cut himself.
235
00:11:07,339 --> 00:11:08,965
Clint not only treated the wound
236
00:11:09,049 --> 00:11:12,469
but set about to making us a
flawless egg-white-and-truffle omelet.
237
00:11:13,053 --> 00:11:16,389
I put myself through med school
as a sous-chef at Le Cirque.
238
00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:20,935
Oh, sometimes I just wanna
pinch you to make sure you're real.
239
00:11:21,019 --> 00:11:21,853
He's real.
240
00:11:24,396 --> 00:11:26,022
I'm just going to get a glass of water.
241
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:27,482
-I'll be right back.
-Right.
242
00:11:27,566 --> 00:11:28,858
But you're about to start the show.
243
00:11:28,942 --> 00:11:30,902
I know. I thought it'd be a
good idea to have Clint on,
244
00:11:30,986 --> 00:11:32,946
introduce him to my listeners,
give his show a leg up.
245
00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:35,448
Oh, right, you're plugging Clint.
246
00:11:35,532 --> 00:11:38,243
I'm sorry, I'm having a lot of trouble
believing this buddy-buddy act.
247
00:11:38,327 --> 00:11:41,704
Roz, try as you may to insinuate that I
have some seething jealousy for this man,
248
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,330
the fact is I like Clint.
249
00:11:43,414 --> 00:11:45,666
Why else would I be giving a
party in his honor this evening?
250
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,501
Okay. You're on in ten seconds.
251
00:11:47,585 --> 00:11:50,963
Yes, right. Clint, just slip on those
headphones and follow my lead.
252
00:11:51,047 --> 00:11:51,923
Okay.
253
00:11:54,425 --> 00:11:56,510
Good afternoon, Seattle.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
254
00:11:56,594 --> 00:11:59,512
Before we start our regular
program, I'd like to take this opportunity
255
00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:03,474
to introduce you to Dr. Clint Webber.
Clint, if you're anything like I am,
256
00:12:03,558 --> 00:12:06,311
you'll spend your first week trying to
figure out what all these buttons do.
257
00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:08,814
Actually, in college I
ran the radio station.
258
00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:17,154
Ah. Well, you know, things may have gotten
a bit more sophisticated since then.
259
00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:19,531
For instance, we have here a cough button.
260
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:22,659
If I'm not mistaken,
that's the echo button.
261
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,995
Of course it is.
262
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:30,960
All my listeners are familiar with
my now-trademark echoing cough.
263
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,796
Well, let's go to the
lines, take our first call,
264
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,133
and show Dr. Webber the ropes, shall we?
265
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,136
-Go ahead, you're on the air.
-WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Oh, hi. Hi, Dr. Crane.
266
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,263
-It's Marie.
-FRASIER: Oh, hello, Marie.
267
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,515
I'm listening.
268
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,727
Uh, I've been having a hard time
getting out of bed every morning.
269
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:53,521
And when I finally do,
I'm irritable for hours.
270
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:57,693
Really?
Well, Marie, the desire to stay in bed
271
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:01,863
is very similar to the desire
to regress to the womb.
272
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,617
Some unconscious fear is
driving you to a place of safety.
273
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,702
Now, in order to resolve this problem,
you're going to have to examine your life
274
00:13:08,786 --> 00:13:11,372
and discover just what it
is you're retreating from.
275
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:13,874
It's hard but very necessary work.
276
00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:16,210
I suggest it may be
time to try some therapy.
277
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:17,252
Wow.
278
00:13:17,336 --> 00:13:19,421
You are good, Dr. Crane.
279
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:23,549
The first thing that came to my head was
that she might be a little hypoglycemic.
280
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:26,094
I'd have suggested some
protein in the morning.
281
00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:27,553
Oh, wait a minute.
282
00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:31,557
Last Thursday, I had eggs for
breakfast and I felt great all day.
283
00:13:31,641 --> 00:13:33,059
Well, maybe that's it, then.
284
00:13:33,143 --> 00:13:35,019
Oh, what a relief.
285
00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:37,606
You know, you scared
the life out of me, Dr. Crane.
286
00:13:40,108 --> 00:13:41,775
Yes, well, thank you, Marie.
287
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:48,365
All right, I think it's time to say
goodbye to Dr. Webber now.
288
00:13:49,825 --> 00:13:51,577
We'll be back after these messages.
289
00:13:52,077 --> 00:13:53,537
Thanks, Frasier, that was fun.
290
00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:54,830
Yes, it was, wasn't it?
291
00:13:54,914 --> 00:13:56,748
I hope I didn't say anything out of line.
292
00:13:56,832 --> 00:14:00,084
Oh, no, no, not at all.
I always enjoy learning something new.
293
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:03,254
Well… Oh, I'll see you tonight.
Don't be late.
294
00:14:03,338 --> 00:14:06,299
-I'm always punctual.
-Yeah, of course you are.
295
00:14:09,135 --> 00:14:10,094
I hate him.
296
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:15,682
[DOOR OPENS]
297
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,018
-Oh, he's not even here.
-You lucked out.
298
00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:21,020
Yeah. I'll just take a case
of that dog food, please.
299
00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:23,648
-Will that be all?
-Yeah. And I'm in a bit of a hurry.
300
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,108
DAPHNE: Oh, look here.
301
00:14:25,192 --> 00:14:26,651
Nickerson's Lemon Biscuits.
302
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,361
Oh, these bring back memories.
303
00:14:28,445 --> 00:14:29,612
I just love them.
304
00:14:29,696 --> 00:14:32,031
-Do you carry the raspberry ones as well?
-I'm not sure.
305
00:14:32,115 --> 00:14:33,782
-Can you come back for those?
-Robert?
306
00:14:33,866 --> 00:14:35,785
-Oh, God.
-Yes?
307
00:14:36,619 --> 00:14:39,913
Well, look who's come back.
308
00:14:39,997 --> 00:14:43,041
Look, why don't you just let
me pay for this and get out?
309
00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:44,084
What do I owe you?
310
00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:46,587
I think we both know what you owe me.
311
00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:50,006
All right. I'm sorry.
312
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:53,759
I shouldn't have made fun of your store.
Are you gonna let me off the hook or not?
313
00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:55,303
ROBERT: All right, I'll sell it to you.
314
00:14:55,387 --> 00:14:57,722
-I never like to lose a customer.
-MARTIN: Well, great.
315
00:14:57,806 --> 00:14:59,640
While I'm here, I might
as well take a few cases.
316
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,310
We have several new varieties
in, if you'd care to take a look.
317
00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:04,437
-Oh, sure.
-Please, show the man.
318
00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:11,277
Oh, I think these biscuits are mismarked.
319
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:13,236
No, that's correct.
320
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,696
Fourteen ninety-five?
321
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,323
For a package this small?
322
00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:19,702
I see we have another
member of the Price Club.
323
00:15:20,578 --> 00:15:22,287
Hey, there's no need for that attitude.
324
00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:24,122
Back home, I can get these for 80p.
325
00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:26,040
Well, I do have to fly them over.
326
00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:28,543
What did you do?
Buy them a seat on the Concorde?
327
00:15:29,127 --> 00:15:31,921
Madam, if you cannot afford
them, simply put them back.
328
00:15:32,005 --> 00:15:34,715
I can bloody well afford them.
I just don't like being gouged.
329
00:15:34,799 --> 00:15:35,841
This is robbery.
330
00:15:35,925 --> 00:15:36,884
Robber?
331
00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:39,261
No one calls me robber.
332
00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:40,763
-CLERK: Robert?
-Not now!
333
00:15:41,639 --> 00:15:45,600
On your way out, you will see a sign
on the door saying "Please come again."
334
00:15:45,684 --> 00:15:46,809
Disregard it.
335
00:15:46,893 --> 00:15:48,269
I'd be happy to.
336
00:15:48,353 --> 00:15:50,271
You know, Mr. Crane was right about you.
337
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:53,859
You're nothing but an arrogant,
swindling little cheesemonger.
338
00:15:54,776 --> 00:15:57,195
This is great. I'll take a case of each.
339
00:15:57,279 --> 00:15:59,488
You'll take a case of nothing.
340
00:15:59,572 --> 00:16:02,074
-What happened now?
-We don't need him or his food.
341
00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:04,785
Yes, we do. He's got tarragon flavor now.
342
00:16:04,869 --> 00:16:06,453
-Come on.
-MARTIN: Oh, Daph.
343
00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:09,248
-What about Eddie?
-Oh, he'll eat when he gets hungry.
344
00:16:09,332 --> 00:16:11,834
For heaven's sakes,
he drinks out of the toilet.
345
00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:18,673
So George S. Kaufman so
dislikes what the actor is doing,
346
00:16:18,757 --> 00:16:20,883
he sends the poor
fellow a telegram reading,
347
00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:23,594
"I'm watching your performance
from the rear of the house.
348
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:24,846
Wish you were here."
349
00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:28,724
Sorry to jump in there, Frasier,
350
00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:30,560
but I believe that's the
story you meant to tell.
351
00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:32,187
Well, thanks for helping out.
352
00:16:33,605 --> 00:16:35,188
Hey, Doc, gotta hand it to you.
353
00:16:35,272 --> 00:16:37,399
-Great way to welcome the new guy.
-Really?
354
00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:39,234
I'm surprised you're even here.
355
00:16:39,318 --> 00:16:42,070
-Didn't think you cared for Clint.
-Nah, I'm over that.
356
00:16:42,154 --> 00:16:46,324
I figured he can't nab every chick,
so if we pal around, I bag the leftovers.
357
00:16:46,408 --> 00:16:48,910
-Ah, well.
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
358
00:16:48,994 --> 00:16:51,329
You're a regular busboy of romance.
Excuse me.
359
00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:53,873
[SIGHS]
360
00:16:57,043 --> 00:16:58,961
-Niles.
-Well, how's it going?
361
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:00,463
Well, let me see.
362
00:17:01,339 --> 00:17:02,756
What have you missed?
363
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,342
Clint told us about how
he learned to fly a plane.
364
00:17:05,426 --> 00:17:06,969
Then he recited a sonnet.
365
00:17:07,053 --> 00:17:08,886
Then he… Oh, yes, he fixed my ice machine,
366
00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:12,057
and he invented a new
drink, the Pink Webber.
367
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,184
I've got Daphne drawing a bath right now.
368
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,686
In case the party starts to lag,
369
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:19,720
I can invite him to walk on
water, liven things up a little.
370
00:17:19,898 --> 00:17:22,400
Well, now, don't let it
make you crazy, Frasier.
371
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:24,861
At some point we all run into
someone who's our superior.
372
00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:28,045
It's just that I've never dealt
with this sort of thing before.
373
00:17:28,698 --> 00:17:29,823
Never?
374
00:17:29,907 --> 00:17:31,617
I can see how that
might be baffling to you.
375
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:34,620
As my younger brother,
you've dealt with this all your life.
376
00:17:34,704 --> 00:17:38,540
Yes, well, at least we know he won't
outshine you in the egomania department.
377
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:42,502
Sorry. Yes, yes, I'm being a bit
silly about this whole thing, I suppose.
378
00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:47,298
I just wish I could find one flaw, you
know, one area where I'm his superior.
379
00:17:47,382 --> 00:17:48,633
I'm sure you will.
380
00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,927
Although it won't be
in the drink department.
381
00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:53,513
This is heaven in a glass.
382
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,975
Frasier, I was just admiring
this chessboard. It's beautiful.
383
00:17:58,059 --> 00:18:01,144
-Thank you. Do you play?
-No. I've read a book or two.
384
00:18:01,228 --> 00:18:02,896
Are you in the middle of a match?
385
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:07,275
Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm playing
by mail with a Russian grandmaster.
386
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,693
It's quite challenging.
387
00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,278
Well, congratulations.
388
00:18:10,362 --> 00:18:12,781
With your cunning use
of the Zekrepsky attack,
389
00:18:12,865 --> 00:18:15,265
you're only four moves
away from certain victory.
390
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:17,452
My God, you're right.
391
00:18:18,661 --> 00:18:22,261
And, actually, I'd be happy to hear
that, except I'm playing black. Well.
392
00:18:23,082 --> 00:18:25,293
Wasn't that a fun eight months? Excuse me.
393
00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:29,672
Hello, Sharon.
394
00:18:30,423 --> 00:18:32,007
Sorry we haven't had a
chance to speak much.
395
00:18:32,091 --> 00:18:34,842
Oh, I know, but I'm really looking
forward to our date on Friday.
396
00:18:34,926 --> 00:18:38,805
Yeah, so am I. You look…
whew, absolutely beautiful.
397
00:18:38,889 --> 00:18:40,473
Or should I say:
398
00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:42,934
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
399
00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:45,603
[LAUGHS]
400
00:18:45,687 --> 00:18:47,230
Why? What's so funny?
401
00:18:47,314 --> 00:18:50,149
Oh, you just told me I'm
as lovely as a chicken beak.
402
00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:51,526
FRASIER: Oh, really?
403
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:54,111
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
404
00:18:54,195 --> 00:18:55,988
Who's as lovely as a chicken beak?
405
00:18:58,616 --> 00:18:59,741
You speak Mandarin?
406
00:18:59,825 --> 00:19:02,202
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
407
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:04,371
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
408
00:19:08,626 --> 00:19:10,000
["ISN'T IT ROMANTIC" PLAYING ON PIANO]
409
00:19:10,084 --> 00:19:12,420
Frasier, I just wanted to
thank you for this party.
410
00:19:12,504 --> 00:19:14,004
Oh, don't mention it.
411
00:19:14,088 --> 00:19:15,506
It's been a perfect evening.
412
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:18,509
The hors d'oeuvres,
the company, the music.
413
00:19:18,593 --> 00:19:20,887
-Oh, I love this song.
-Hmm.
414
00:19:21,429 --> 00:19:23,640
Yes, well, enjoy.
415
00:19:24,474 --> 00:19:27,601
[OFF-KEY] ♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪
416
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:31,480
♪ Music in the night ♪
417
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:37,569
Oh, I'm sorry. I was singing too loud.
418
00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:39,028
No, no, not at all.
419
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,562
I can't tell you how much
I'm enjoying hearing it.
420
00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:45,492
Careful, it doesn't take much
coaxing to get me to perform.
421
00:19:45,576 --> 00:19:48,203
-Really?
-Oh, yes. Get a glass of wine in me,
422
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,414
before you know it, I'm
serenading the entire room.
423
00:19:50,498 --> 00:19:51,540
Really?
424
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,460
Oh, I'm afraid I have a
bit of the old ham in me.
425
00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:58,172
Would it be presumptuous
to sing in front of your guests?
426
00:19:58,256 --> 00:20:02,092
Well, I think we could persuade
the piano player to play it again.
427
00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:06,721
Oh, Niles, Niles, I've done it.
428
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,598
I have found his Achilles' heel.
429
00:20:08,682 --> 00:20:09,849
[GASPS] Whose?
430
00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:10,933
Clint's.
431
00:20:11,017 --> 00:20:12,226
-Oh.
-I just heard him singing.
432
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,561
The man is completely tone-deaf.
433
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:15,813
He's about to launch into a
rendition of "Isn't It Romantic?"
434
00:20:15,897 --> 00:20:18,482
That will simply peel the
enamel from your teeth.
435
00:20:20,693 --> 00:20:22,903
Are you sure you want to let him do that?
436
00:20:22,987 --> 00:20:25,238
-What do you mean?
-You have your victory.
437
00:20:25,322 --> 00:20:26,656
You're a wonderful singer.
438
00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:27,991
Isn't it enough to know that?
439
00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:30,536
Do you really need to
see him humiliate himself?
440
00:20:31,328 --> 00:20:32,162
Yes.
441
00:20:33,873 --> 00:20:35,664
-Now, Frasier…
-No, no, I know it.
442
00:20:35,748 --> 00:20:39,418
I know you're right.
I guess I am a bigger man than that.
443
00:20:39,502 --> 00:20:42,254
Hey, Dr. Crane, your
friend Clint's quite a charmer.
444
00:20:42,338 --> 00:20:43,547
Yes, he is, isn't he?
445
00:20:43,631 --> 00:20:45,216
-Do you suppose he's single?
-Hmm?
446
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,343
I was getting up the nerve
to give him my phone number.
447
00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:48,845
CLINT: Excuse me, everyone.
448
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:52,764
I just want to thank you all for
this warm welcome to KACL.
449
00:20:52,848 --> 00:20:57,143
And as a token of my gratitude,
I'd like to share this song with you.
450
00:20:57,227 --> 00:20:58,895
Clint, there's been a
little change in plans.
451
00:20:58,979 --> 00:21:01,231
Yes, I'm going to be your accompanist now.
452
00:21:02,274 --> 00:21:03,275
Get up.
453
00:21:04,776 --> 00:21:06,778
[PLAYING "ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?"]
454
00:21:07,613 --> 00:21:10,656
[OFF-KEY] ♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪
455
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:12,115
♪ Music in the night ♪
456
00:21:12,199 --> 00:21:15,578
♪ A dream that can't be heard ♪
457
00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:18,831
♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪
458
00:21:18,915 --> 00:21:21,333
Please, everybody. Nobody's perfect.
459
00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:26,047
♪ The oldest magic word ♪
460
00:21:26,672 --> 00:21:27,839
♪ I… ♪
461
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,885
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
462
00:21:32,969 --> 00:21:35,655
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
463
00:21:35,739 --> 00:21:38,057
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
464
00:21:38,141 --> 00:21:39,142
Oh, my.
465
00:21:40,018 --> 00:21:42,603
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
466
00:21:42,687 --> 00:21:44,855
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I've got you pegged ♪
467
00:21:44,939 --> 00:21:47,148
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
468
00:21:47,232 --> 00:21:48,650
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
469
00:21:48,734 --> 00:21:52,196
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
470
00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:55,574
♪ They're callin' again ♪
471
00:21:57,034 --> 00:21:59,446
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
472
00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:01,205
What is a boy to do?
473
00:22:03,665 --> 00:22:06,668
Frasier has left the building.