1 00:00:02,338 --> 00:00:04,340 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:12,472 -Now for a difficult one. -NILES: Mm-hmm. 3 00:00:12,556 --> 00:00:13,598 Mm. Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:19,604 Umm. Firm, velvety rind, bit smoky. 5 00:00:19,688 --> 00:00:22,649 -Mmm. Apple wood, I think. -Oui. 6 00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:26,027 This is what I get for sending you to sleepaway camp in France. 7 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,112 Can I help you with anything else, monsieur? 8 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,867 No, thanks. This $6 can of dog food will be fine. 9 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,578 It'll sure teach me not to leave my shopping until the last minute again. 10 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,955 Oh! Is it Reblochon? 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,208 You are good, Dr. Crane. 12 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,418 Yeah, he's a regular cheese whiz. 13 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:48,172 I'll take a half a pound of the Reblochon and a half pound of Saint-André, 14 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:52,218 and, I know I ask this every week, but… is it here? 15 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,886 Is what here? 16 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,764 You know very well what I mean. The imported Swiss prosciutto. 17 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,849 Ah, the Bündnerfleisch. 18 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,434 I am sorry. 19 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:04,187 -If only you had been here one hour ago… -Damn! 20 00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:05,981 …you would have seen it arrive. 21 00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:09,192 Oh! Oh! 22 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,778 -I have my fun with you. -You do, Robert. 23 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:14,739 You make me long for the days when you barely spoke English. Slice! 24 00:01:14,823 --> 00:01:16,908 Slice like the wind. I'll take a pound. 25 00:01:16,992 --> 00:01:18,117 Whoa. 26 00:01:18,201 --> 00:01:21,870 Eighteen dollars a pound? This salami's good but it's not that good. 27 00:01:21,954 --> 00:01:24,498 That saucisson was aged for six months 28 00:01:24,582 --> 00:01:27,584 and air-cured in a small village at the foot of the Pyrenees. 29 00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:29,044 It's a steal at that price. 30 00:01:29,128 --> 00:01:30,546 You got that right, pal. 31 00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:33,382 Uh, Dad, if you want to wait outside, I'll be through in a minute. 32 00:01:33,466 --> 00:01:35,050 Nah, I'm fine. 33 00:01:35,134 --> 00:01:37,844 Ho-ho, look at all these different kinds of olive oil. 34 00:01:37,928 --> 00:01:40,138 Virgin, extra virgin. 35 00:01:41,556 --> 00:01:42,682 Extra virgin? 36 00:01:43,725 --> 00:01:44,768 How does that work? 37 00:01:46,603 --> 00:01:48,855 Well, I guess if you can cure a sausage… 38 00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:55,444 Monsieur, I am so glad you find my food so amusing. 39 00:01:55,528 --> 00:01:57,028 Oh, Robert, he's only joking. 40 00:01:57,112 --> 00:01:58,155 Keep on slicing. 41 00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,239 No, come on, now. 42 00:01:59,323 --> 00:02:01,658 Even you've got to admit this whole store is kind of nutty. 43 00:02:01,742 --> 00:02:03,618 -ROBERT: Pardon? -Fourteen dollars for a pound 44 00:02:03,702 --> 00:02:04,536 of goat cheese? 45 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:07,620 Gosh, for that price, I ought to be able to get a whole goat. 46 00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:10,542 And we're slicing. 47 00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:15,296 Perhaps, monsieur, you would be more comfortable if you just waited outside. 48 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:17,506 You want me to leave, come out and say it in plain English. 49 00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:20,968 -Fine. Leave from my store. -Okay, no problem. Come on, Niles. 50 00:02:21,052 --> 00:02:22,470 You heard the man. 51 00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:24,096 He wants us to [FRENCH ACCENT] leave from his store. 52 00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:26,390 -Don't hurry back. -[NORMAL VOICE] Don't worry. 53 00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:29,768 All the money in the world wouldn't get me back in this snob shop. 54 00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,146 That man is my father. 55 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,982 So, obviously, I can't leave here with a bag full of your merchandise. 56 00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,651 -Home delivery? -Thank you. 57 00:02:39,486 --> 00:02:41,154 No one treats my father that way! 58 00:02:41,238 --> 00:02:42,614 Those olives too. No one! 59 00:02:48,578 --> 00:02:50,454 -[DOOR OPENS] -[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 60 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,457 About the photo shoot tomorrow, will you be needing makeup? 61 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,500 Oh, heavens, no. 62 00:02:54,584 --> 00:02:58,587 That's a good choice, because I think that you look very handsome without it. 63 00:02:58,671 --> 00:03:03,382 Really? Well, I think you look very attractive with makeup. 64 00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:05,176 Not that I'm saying you need makeup. 65 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,930 It's just that, if indeed you are wearing makeup, it's so artfully applied 66 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,682 that I wouldn't even know you're wearing makeup. Uh… 67 00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:14,266 Bet it looks like I'm wearing some rouge right now. 68 00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:16,979 -I know what you meant. And thank you. -Oh. 69 00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:20,106 Oh, Dr. Crane, um, I've been meaning to ask you, 70 00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:23,693 what do you think about two people who work together dating? 71 00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:26,905 Oh, well, Sharon, I'm asked that question a lot, 72 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,199 and let me tell you, the stark reality is 73 00:03:29,283 --> 00:03:31,118 that situation is fraught with… 74 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,456 Delightful possibilities. 75 00:03:36,539 --> 00:03:38,415 So are you free on Friday? 76 00:03:38,499 --> 00:03:41,669 Uh, Friday? Yes, Friday it is. After the show. 77 00:03:41,753 --> 00:03:43,295 -Great. -Great. 78 00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:44,839 -Okay. -Uh, bye. 79 00:03:48,343 --> 00:03:49,927 -Dr. Crane. -Yes. 80 00:03:50,011 --> 00:03:53,429 Clint Webber. The station just hired me to host the new show on health issues. 81 00:03:53,513 --> 00:03:56,432 Yes, of course. Dr. Webber. Well, welcome to KACL. 82 00:03:56,516 --> 00:03:58,977 I understand I'm in your debt for recommending my audition tape. 83 00:03:59,061 --> 00:04:01,604 Oh, not at all. It was very good, very good indeed. 84 00:04:01,688 --> 00:04:03,606 Besides, we'd all gotten a bit tired of the last show 85 00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:07,110 that was in that time slot, Bert, the Backyard Gardener. 86 00:04:07,903 --> 00:04:11,697 Rumored that his latest crop gave new meaning to the term "potting shed." 87 00:04:13,866 --> 00:04:15,743 Ah, perfect timing. Come, Clint. 88 00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:19,913 Roz Doyle, my producer. 89 00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:23,250 This is Dr. Clint Webber, the new host of Health Watch. 90 00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:25,335 -Hi. -Hi. Great to meet you. 91 00:04:25,419 --> 00:04:28,004 So, uh, you're new. 92 00:04:28,088 --> 00:04:29,255 That's right. 93 00:04:29,339 --> 00:04:30,464 And a doctor? 94 00:04:30,548 --> 00:04:31,675 That's right. 95 00:04:32,884 --> 00:04:34,970 [CHORTLES] 96 00:04:39,057 --> 00:04:41,017 I don't wanna be late for that station tour. 97 00:04:41,101 --> 00:04:43,936 No, no, no. Well, again, welcome aboard, Clint. 98 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:45,604 Oh, my gosh. 99 00:04:45,688 --> 00:04:47,439 Could I have acted any goofier? 100 00:04:47,523 --> 00:04:49,441 Not without a set of fake buck teeth. 101 00:04:50,776 --> 00:04:51,735 He's so handsome. 102 00:04:51,819 --> 00:04:54,446 I can't work with someone that handsome. No offense. 103 00:04:54,530 --> 00:04:55,697 Oh, none taken. 104 00:04:55,781 --> 00:04:57,866 Granted, when it comes to the looks department, 105 00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,743 Dr. Webber and I aren't exactly in the same… 106 00:04:59,827 --> 00:05:00,744 Species? 107 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:06,874 Well, I was going to say league, but species is so much more insulting. 108 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:11,045 This stinks! This is total BS! 109 00:05:11,129 --> 00:05:12,963 The chicks are all going nuts over this Webber guy. 110 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,840 I'm supposed to be the only sex symbol around here. 111 00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:17,093 Wait, look at this, look at this. Come on. 112 00:05:18,011 --> 00:05:20,178 Come on, take your best shot. No… No, whoa! 113 00:05:20,262 --> 00:05:21,680 Not you. One of those guys. 114 00:05:22,597 --> 00:05:25,099 Bulldog, you're behaving immaturely even for you. 115 00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:28,269 The man is handsome, but there's no reason to feel threatened. 116 00:05:28,353 --> 00:05:31,773 I must confess, I didn't notice he was all that handsome. 117 00:05:33,817 --> 00:05:35,735 You didn't notice? 118 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:37,361 You of all people? 119 00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:40,698 Just what are you insinuating? 120 00:05:41,949 --> 00:05:45,285 Well, you know, that you're a little, uh… 121 00:05:45,369 --> 00:05:48,664 For your information, I happen to be a happily married man. 122 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,252 You're married? 123 00:05:55,587 --> 00:05:56,546 To a woman? 124 00:05:58,256 --> 00:05:59,674 Of course to a woman. 125 00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:01,801 You've all heard me mention Deb. 126 00:06:01,885 --> 00:06:04,011 How often have I said, "I must be running along now. 127 00:06:04,095 --> 00:06:05,429 Deb will be waiting"? 128 00:06:05,513 --> 00:06:06,889 We thought Deb was your cat. 129 00:06:06,973 --> 00:06:07,932 She is not a cat. 130 00:06:09,225 --> 00:06:12,560 She is Mrs. Gilbert Leslie Chesterton, a Sarah Lawrence graduate 131 00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:15,898 and the owner of a very successful auto body repair shop. 132 00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:20,652 Honestly, the conclusions people make 133 00:06:20,736 --> 00:06:24,031 just because a man dresses well and knows how to use a pastry bag. 134 00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:31,913 Well… that's the first time I've ever seen a man "in" himself. 135 00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:40,963 Dad, I can't help noticing Eddie's looking a bit glum. 136 00:06:41,047 --> 00:06:42,298 Yeah, he's mad at me. 137 00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:47,593 I gave him a can of that dog food from your fancy gourmet place the other day. 138 00:06:47,677 --> 00:06:48,970 -He didn't like it? -No, he loved it. 139 00:06:49,054 --> 00:06:51,264 -Now he won't eat anything else. -Oh. 140 00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:55,309 Even turned his nose up at a kosher pickle, and he loves those. 141 00:06:55,393 --> 00:06:57,895 And the bad thing is I called all over Seattle, 142 00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:00,606 and Frenchy's the only one who carries that stuff. 143 00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:02,567 I don't suppose you'd consider apologizing? 144 00:07:02,651 --> 00:07:05,110 Forget it. I'm never setting foot in that store again. 145 00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:09,197 Well, if things get worse, there is a technique of sleep-feeding I know. 146 00:07:09,281 --> 00:07:12,034 It involves an eyedropper and a high-fructose protein shake. 147 00:07:12,118 --> 00:07:13,410 I don't know about that. 148 00:07:13,494 --> 00:07:14,829 Well, it worked on Maris. 149 00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:18,832 -Hello, Niles, Dad. -Hi, how you doing? 150 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,125 -Hi, Roz. -MARTIN: Hey, Roz. 151 00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:21,167 -Hi. -How you doing? 152 00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:22,418 Hello. Hell… 153 00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:26,214 -Frasier, are you aware… -FRASIER: Yes, I'm aware. 154 00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,841 They've been taking publicity photos today. 155 00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:31,260 I had an allergic reaction to the makeup I was wearing. 156 00:07:31,344 --> 00:07:33,429 I wasn't even planning on wearing makeup, 157 00:07:33,513 --> 00:07:35,639 but there's a handsome new employee at the station. 158 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,475 Everybody's feeling insecure about their looks. 159 00:07:37,559 --> 00:07:40,977 They were all slapping their makeup on, so I, too, gave in to vanity. 160 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:46,441 And, like Icarus flying too close to the sun, I, too, paid the price. 161 00:07:46,525 --> 00:07:48,193 -Wow. -Thank you, Dad. 162 00:07:48,277 --> 00:07:51,237 I don't like to go to the mythology well too often, but that was spot-on. 163 00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:53,615 No, I mean that guy. He's so handsome. 164 00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:56,658 -It's him! It's Dr. Webber! -Roz, that's enough of this. 165 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:57,993 Well, he is striking. 166 00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,161 Frasier's just jealous. 167 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,788 Oh, I am not jealous. 168 00:08:00,872 --> 00:08:02,664 Yes, the man is handsome. 169 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,501 But I'm sure there's a number of areas in which I am his superior. 170 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,171 You know, let's not forget that good looks can be a mixed blessing. 171 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,006 People roll out the red carpet for you, 172 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:14,176 but that robs you of any incentive to develop other qualities. 173 00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:17,428 After a while you are left an aging Narcissus, 174 00:08:17,512 --> 00:08:19,263 bent to the water's edge, 175 00:08:19,347 --> 00:08:24,227 realizing those lines in the pond aren't ripples. 176 00:08:24,311 --> 00:08:25,312 They're wrinkles. 177 00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:27,647 Amazing. 178 00:08:27,731 --> 00:08:29,357 Thank you. I rather liked that one myself. 179 00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:31,692 That guy could be a movie star. 180 00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:35,487 Roz, don't we have work to do? Shall we? 181 00:08:35,571 --> 00:08:37,656 Oh, no, take this table. I have a session. 182 00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:39,616 Yeah, I gotta go too. 183 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,869 Like Zeus riding his thunderbolt to Mount Vesuvius… 184 00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:44,997 Very amusing, Dad. Off you go. 185 00:08:45,831 --> 00:08:46,665 Dr. Crane. 186 00:08:46,749 --> 00:08:49,041 Oh. Well, Dr. Webber. 187 00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:51,836 -You remember Roz Doyle, of course? -Yes, hello. 188 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,504 [CHORTLES] 189 00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:56,715 Who could forget that infectious laugh? 190 00:08:56,799 --> 00:08:59,510 Speaking of which, has anyone had a look at that rash? 191 00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,428 Oh, yes, everybody, yeah. 192 00:09:01,512 --> 00:09:02,847 So mind if I join you? 193 00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:05,931 -Well, actually, we were just… -We were hoping you would. 194 00:09:08,518 --> 00:09:12,480 So, Clint, I see that you're a squash player. 195 00:09:12,564 --> 00:09:16,151 You know, if you're up for a game someday, I used to play a bit back in Harvard. 196 00:09:16,235 --> 00:09:17,318 Well, I'd love to. 197 00:09:17,402 --> 00:09:19,779 Harvard? Wow, I was dying to go to Harvard. 198 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,364 Well, I'm sure the school you went to was just as good. 199 00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:24,700 -I went to Oxford. -Oh, well, even better. 200 00:09:26,494 --> 00:09:28,078 Did you go to medical school there as well? 201 00:09:28,162 --> 00:09:31,582 Yes, but I took a year off first to get my master's in French history. 202 00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:33,542 -Ah. -Just wanted to do something fun. 203 00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:34,626 FRASIER: Mm-hmm. 204 00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:36,837 Does that mean you speak French? 205 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,963 [SPEAKING IN FRENCH] 206 00:09:39,047 --> 00:09:41,341 [ROZ EXHALES GUSTILY, CHORTLES] 207 00:09:42,008 --> 00:09:44,927 Yes, well, I too understand the importance of taking some time off 208 00:09:45,011 --> 00:09:46,304 before beginning medical school. 209 00:09:46,388 --> 00:09:51,475 I spent that summer in Milan, studying the history of opera. 210 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:53,769 In fact, I had the good fortune to make an acquaintance 211 00:09:53,853 --> 00:09:57,022 and become friends with a then little-known young tenor 212 00:09:57,106 --> 00:09:58,982 by the name of Carreras. 213 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,985 -José Carreras? -[CHUCKLES] Forgive the name-dropping. 214 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,113 -He's my godfather. -You're joking. 215 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,616 No, I'll call him tonight. 216 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,118 He'll be delighted to hear I'm working with you. 217 00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:13,455 I'll be interested to see if he remembers the game we used to play 218 00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:15,873 where we pretended not to remember one another. 219 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:21,253 You know, Frasier, that rash is starting to concern me. 220 00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:23,505 Maybe I'll just pop out to the car and get my medical kit. 221 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,799 There's really no need. 222 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,442 Maybe we can get some work done while he's gone. 223 00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:31,305 Oh, Roz, for heaven's sake. 224 00:10:31,847 --> 00:10:34,390 You behave like a starry-eyed bobby-soxer. 225 00:10:34,474 --> 00:10:38,061 Yes, the man is good-looking. It's not like he can stop traffic. 226 00:10:38,145 --> 00:10:41,106 -[TIRES SCREECHING] -[HORNS HONKING] 227 00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:45,549 There's a blind corner out there. We don't know if that was him. 228 00:10:49,697 --> 00:10:51,073 How was your squash game? 229 00:10:51,157 --> 00:10:53,867 Oh, well, Dr. Webber neglected to mention 230 00:10:53,951 --> 00:10:56,579 that he was squash champion back in college. 231 00:10:57,997 --> 00:10:59,164 I'm sorry, Frasier. 232 00:10:59,248 --> 00:11:01,625 Oh, no, not at all. It was a lovely morning. 233 00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:03,919 Clint was gracious enough to treat me to breakfast. 234 00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:07,255 Of course, once we arrived at Le Relais, the chef had just cut himself. 235 00:11:07,339 --> 00:11:08,965 Clint not only treated the wound 236 00:11:09,049 --> 00:11:12,469 but set about to making us a flawless egg-white-and-truffle omelet. 237 00:11:13,053 --> 00:11:16,389 I put myself through med school as a sous-chef at Le Cirque. 238 00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:20,935 Oh, sometimes I just wanna pinch you to make sure you're real. 239 00:11:21,019 --> 00:11:21,853 He's real. 240 00:11:24,396 --> 00:11:26,022 I'm just going to get a glass of water. 241 00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:27,482 -I'll be right back. -Right. 242 00:11:27,566 --> 00:11:28,858 But you're about to start the show. 243 00:11:28,942 --> 00:11:30,902 I know. I thought it'd be a good idea to have Clint on, 244 00:11:30,986 --> 00:11:32,946 introduce him to my listeners, give his show a leg up. 245 00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:35,448 Oh, right, you're plugging Clint. 246 00:11:35,532 --> 00:11:38,243 I'm sorry, I'm having a lot of trouble believing this buddy-buddy act. 247 00:11:38,327 --> 00:11:41,704 Roz, try as you may to insinuate that I have some seething jealousy for this man, 248 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,330 the fact is I like Clint. 249 00:11:43,414 --> 00:11:45,666 Why else would I be giving a party in his honor this evening? 250 00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,501 Okay. You're on in ten seconds. 251 00:11:47,585 --> 00:11:50,963 Yes, right. Clint, just slip on those headphones and follow my lead. 252 00:11:51,047 --> 00:11:51,923 Okay. 253 00:11:54,425 --> 00:11:56,510 Good afternoon, Seattle. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. 254 00:11:56,594 --> 00:11:59,512 Before we start our regular program, I'd like to take this opportunity 255 00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:03,474 to introduce you to Dr. Clint Webber. Clint, if you're anything like I am, 256 00:12:03,558 --> 00:12:06,311 you'll spend your first week trying to figure out what all these buttons do. 257 00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:08,814 Actually, in college I ran the radio station. 258 00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:17,154 Ah. Well, you know, things may have gotten a bit more sophisticated since then. 259 00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:19,531 For instance, we have here a cough button. 260 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:22,659 If I'm not mistaken, that's the echo button. 261 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,995 Of course it is. 262 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:30,960 All my listeners are familiar with my now-trademark echoing cough. 263 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,796 Well, let's go to the lines, take our first call, 264 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,133 and show Dr. Webber the ropes, shall we? 265 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,136 -Go ahead, you're on the air. -WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Oh, hi. Hi, Dr. Crane. 266 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,263 -It's Marie. -FRASIER: Oh, hello, Marie. 267 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,515 I'm listening. 268 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,727 Uh, I've been having a hard time getting out of bed every morning. 269 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:53,521 And when I finally do, I'm irritable for hours. 270 00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:57,693 Really? Well, Marie, the desire to stay in bed 271 00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:01,863 is very similar to the desire to regress to the womb. 272 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,617 Some unconscious fear is driving you to a place of safety. 273 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,702 Now, in order to resolve this problem, you're going to have to examine your life 274 00:13:08,786 --> 00:13:11,372 and discover just what it is you're retreating from. 275 00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:13,874 It's hard but very necessary work. 276 00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:16,210 I suggest it may be time to try some therapy. 277 00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:17,252 Wow. 278 00:13:17,336 --> 00:13:19,421 You are good, Dr. Crane. 279 00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:23,549 The first thing that came to my head was that she might be a little hypoglycemic. 280 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:26,094 I'd have suggested some protein in the morning. 281 00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:27,553 Oh, wait a minute. 282 00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:31,557 Last Thursday, I had eggs for breakfast and I felt great all day. 283 00:13:31,641 --> 00:13:33,059 Well, maybe that's it, then. 284 00:13:33,143 --> 00:13:35,019 Oh, what a relief. 285 00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:37,606 You know, you scared the life out of me, Dr. Crane. 286 00:13:40,108 --> 00:13:41,775 Yes, well, thank you, Marie. 287 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:48,365 All right, I think it's time to say goodbye to Dr. Webber now. 288 00:13:49,825 --> 00:13:51,577 We'll be back after these messages. 289 00:13:52,077 --> 00:13:53,537 Thanks, Frasier, that was fun. 290 00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:54,830 Yes, it was, wasn't it? 291 00:13:54,914 --> 00:13:56,748 I hope I didn't say anything out of line. 292 00:13:56,832 --> 00:14:00,084 Oh, no, no, not at all. I always enjoy learning something new. 293 00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:03,254 Well… Oh, I'll see you tonight. Don't be late. 294 00:14:03,338 --> 00:14:06,299 -I'm always punctual. -Yeah, of course you are. 295 00:14:09,135 --> 00:14:10,094 I hate him. 296 00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:15,682 [DOOR OPENS] 297 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,018 -Oh, he's not even here. -You lucked out. 298 00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:21,020 Yeah. I'll just take a case of that dog food, please. 299 00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:23,648 -Will that be all? -Yeah. And I'm in a bit of a hurry. 300 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,108 DAPHNE: Oh, look here. 301 00:14:25,192 --> 00:14:26,651 Nickerson's Lemon Biscuits. 302 00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,361 Oh, these bring back memories. 303 00:14:28,445 --> 00:14:29,612 I just love them. 304 00:14:29,696 --> 00:14:32,031 -Do you carry the raspberry ones as well? -I'm not sure. 305 00:14:32,115 --> 00:14:33,782 -Can you come back for those? -Robert? 306 00:14:33,866 --> 00:14:35,785 -Oh, God. -Yes? 307 00:14:36,619 --> 00:14:39,913 Well, look who's come back. 308 00:14:39,997 --> 00:14:43,041 Look, why don't you just let me pay for this and get out? 309 00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:44,084 What do I owe you? 310 00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:46,587 I think we both know what you owe me. 311 00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:50,006 All right. I'm sorry. 312 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:53,759 I shouldn't have made fun of your store. Are you gonna let me off the hook or not? 313 00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:55,303 ROBERT: All right, I'll sell it to you. 314 00:14:55,387 --> 00:14:57,722 -I never like to lose a customer. -MARTIN: Well, great. 315 00:14:57,806 --> 00:14:59,640 While I'm here, I might as well take a few cases. 316 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,310 We have several new varieties in, if you'd care to take a look. 317 00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:04,437 -Oh, sure. -Please, show the man. 318 00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:11,277 Oh, I think these biscuits are mismarked. 319 00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:13,236 No, that's correct. 320 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,696 Fourteen ninety-five? 321 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,323 For a package this small? 322 00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:19,702 I see we have another member of the Price Club. 323 00:15:20,578 --> 00:15:22,287 Hey, there's no need for that attitude. 324 00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:24,122 Back home, I can get these for 80p. 325 00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:26,040 Well, I do have to fly them over. 326 00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:28,543 What did you do? Buy them a seat on the Concorde? 327 00:15:29,127 --> 00:15:31,921 Madam, if you cannot afford them, simply put them back. 328 00:15:32,005 --> 00:15:34,715 I can bloody well afford them. I just don't like being gouged. 329 00:15:34,799 --> 00:15:35,841 This is robbery. 330 00:15:35,925 --> 00:15:36,884 Robber? 331 00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:39,261 No one calls me robber. 332 00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:40,763 -CLERK: Robert? -Not now! 333 00:15:41,639 --> 00:15:45,600 On your way out, you will see a sign on the door saying "Please come again." 334 00:15:45,684 --> 00:15:46,809 Disregard it. 335 00:15:46,893 --> 00:15:48,269 I'd be happy to. 336 00:15:48,353 --> 00:15:50,271 You know, Mr. Crane was right about you. 337 00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:53,859 You're nothing but an arrogant, swindling little cheesemonger. 338 00:15:54,776 --> 00:15:57,195 This is great. I'll take a case of each. 339 00:15:57,279 --> 00:15:59,488 You'll take a case of nothing. 340 00:15:59,572 --> 00:16:02,074 -What happened now? -We don't need him or his food. 341 00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:04,785 Yes, we do. He's got tarragon flavor now. 342 00:16:04,869 --> 00:16:06,453 -Come on. -MARTIN: Oh, Daph. 343 00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:09,248 -What about Eddie? -Oh, he'll eat when he gets hungry. 344 00:16:09,332 --> 00:16:11,834 For heaven's sakes, he drinks out of the toilet. 345 00:16:14,879 --> 00:16:18,673 So George S. Kaufman so dislikes what the actor is doing, 346 00:16:18,757 --> 00:16:20,883 he sends the poor fellow a telegram reading, 347 00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:23,594 "I'm watching your performance from the rear of the house. 348 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:24,846 Wish you were here." 349 00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:28,724 Sorry to jump in there, Frasier, 350 00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:30,560 but I believe that's the story you meant to tell. 351 00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:32,187 Well, thanks for helping out. 352 00:16:33,605 --> 00:16:35,188 Hey, Doc, gotta hand it to you. 353 00:16:35,272 --> 00:16:37,399 -Great way to welcome the new guy. -Really? 354 00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:39,234 I'm surprised you're even here. 355 00:16:39,318 --> 00:16:42,070 -Didn't think you cared for Clint. -Nah, I'm over that. 356 00:16:42,154 --> 00:16:46,324 I figured he can't nab every chick, so if we pal around, I bag the leftovers. 357 00:16:46,408 --> 00:16:48,910 -Ah, well. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 358 00:16:48,994 --> 00:16:51,329 You're a regular busboy of romance. Excuse me. 359 00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:53,873 [SIGHS] 360 00:16:57,043 --> 00:16:58,961 -Niles. -Well, how's it going? 361 00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:00,463 Well, let me see. 362 00:17:01,339 --> 00:17:02,756 What have you missed? 363 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,342 Clint told us about how he learned to fly a plane. 364 00:17:05,426 --> 00:17:06,969 Then he recited a sonnet. 365 00:17:07,053 --> 00:17:08,886 Then he… Oh, yes, he fixed my ice machine, 366 00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:12,057 and he invented a new drink, the Pink Webber. 367 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,184 I've got Daphne drawing a bath right now. 368 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,686 In case the party starts to lag, 369 00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:19,720 I can invite him to walk on water, liven things up a little. 370 00:17:19,898 --> 00:17:22,400 Well, now, don't let it make you crazy, Frasier. 371 00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:24,861 At some point we all run into someone who's our superior. 372 00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:28,045 It's just that I've never dealt with this sort of thing before. 373 00:17:28,698 --> 00:17:29,823 Never? 374 00:17:29,907 --> 00:17:31,617 I can see how that might be baffling to you. 375 00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:34,620 As my younger brother, you've dealt with this all your life. 376 00:17:34,704 --> 00:17:38,540 Yes, well, at least we know he won't outshine you in the egomania department. 377 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:42,502 Sorry. Yes, yes, I'm being a bit silly about this whole thing, I suppose. 378 00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:47,298 I just wish I could find one flaw, you know, one area where I'm his superior. 379 00:17:47,382 --> 00:17:48,633 I'm sure you will. 380 00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,927 Although it won't be in the drink department. 381 00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:53,513 This is heaven in a glass. 382 00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,975 Frasier, I was just admiring this chessboard. It's beautiful. 383 00:17:58,059 --> 00:18:01,144 -Thank you. Do you play? -No. I've read a book or two. 384 00:18:01,228 --> 00:18:02,896 Are you in the middle of a match? 385 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:07,275 Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm playing by mail with a Russian grandmaster. 386 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,693 It's quite challenging. 387 00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,278 Well, congratulations. 388 00:18:10,362 --> 00:18:12,781 With your cunning use of the Zekrepsky attack, 389 00:18:12,865 --> 00:18:15,265 you're only four moves away from certain victory. 390 00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:17,452 My God, you're right. 391 00:18:18,661 --> 00:18:22,261 And, actually, I'd be happy to hear that, except I'm playing black. Well. 392 00:18:23,082 --> 00:18:25,293 Wasn't that a fun eight months? Excuse me. 393 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:29,672 Hello, Sharon. 394 00:18:30,423 --> 00:18:32,007 Sorry we haven't had a chance to speak much. 395 00:18:32,091 --> 00:18:34,842 Oh, I know, but I'm really looking forward to our date on Friday. 396 00:18:34,926 --> 00:18:38,805 Yeah, so am I. You look… whew, absolutely beautiful. 397 00:18:38,889 --> 00:18:40,473 Or should I say: 398 00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:42,934 [SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 399 00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:45,603 [LAUGHS] 400 00:18:45,687 --> 00:18:47,230 Why? What's so funny? 401 00:18:47,314 --> 00:18:50,149 Oh, you just told me I'm as lovely as a chicken beak. 402 00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:51,526 FRASIER: Oh, really? 403 00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:54,111 [SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 404 00:18:54,195 --> 00:18:55,988 Who's as lovely as a chicken beak? 405 00:18:58,616 --> 00:18:59,741 You speak Mandarin? 406 00:18:59,825 --> 00:19:02,202 [SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 407 00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:04,371 [SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 408 00:19:08,626 --> 00:19:10,000 ["ISN'T IT ROMANTIC" PLAYING ON PIANO] 409 00:19:10,084 --> 00:19:12,420 Frasier, I just wanted to thank you for this party. 410 00:19:12,504 --> 00:19:14,004 Oh, don't mention it. 411 00:19:14,088 --> 00:19:15,506 It's been a perfect evening. 412 00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:18,509 The hors d'oeuvres, the company, the music. 413 00:19:18,593 --> 00:19:20,887 -Oh, I love this song. -Hmm. 414 00:19:21,429 --> 00:19:23,640 Yes, well, enjoy. 415 00:19:24,474 --> 00:19:27,601 [OFF-KEY] ♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪ 416 00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:31,480 ♪ Music in the night ♪ 417 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:37,569 Oh, I'm sorry. I was singing too loud. 418 00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:39,028 No, no, not at all. 419 00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,562 I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying hearing it. 420 00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:45,492 Careful, it doesn't take much coaxing to get me to perform. 421 00:19:45,576 --> 00:19:48,203 -Really? -Oh, yes. Get a glass of wine in me, 422 00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,414 before you know it, I'm serenading the entire room. 423 00:19:50,498 --> 00:19:51,540 Really? 424 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,460 Oh, I'm afraid I have a bit of the old ham in me. 425 00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:58,172 Would it be presumptuous to sing in front of your guests? 426 00:19:58,256 --> 00:20:02,092 Well, I think we could persuade the piano player to play it again. 427 00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:06,721 Oh, Niles, Niles, I've done it. 428 00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,598 I have found his Achilles' heel. 429 00:20:08,682 --> 00:20:09,849 [GASPS] Whose? 430 00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:10,933 Clint's. 431 00:20:11,017 --> 00:20:12,226 -Oh. -I just heard him singing. 432 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:13,561 The man is completely tone-deaf. 433 00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:15,813 He's about to launch into a rendition of "Isn't It Romantic?" 434 00:20:15,897 --> 00:20:18,482 That will simply peel the enamel from your teeth. 435 00:20:20,693 --> 00:20:22,903 Are you sure you want to let him do that? 436 00:20:22,987 --> 00:20:25,238 -What do you mean? -You have your victory. 437 00:20:25,322 --> 00:20:26,656 You're a wonderful singer. 438 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:27,991 Isn't it enough to know that? 439 00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:30,536 Do you really need to see him humiliate himself? 440 00:20:31,328 --> 00:20:32,162 Yes. 441 00:20:33,873 --> 00:20:35,664 -Now, Frasier… -No, no, I know it. 442 00:20:35,748 --> 00:20:39,418 I know you're right. I guess I am a bigger man than that. 443 00:20:39,502 --> 00:20:42,254 Hey, Dr. Crane, your friend Clint's quite a charmer. 444 00:20:42,338 --> 00:20:43,547 Yes, he is, isn't he? 445 00:20:43,631 --> 00:20:45,216 -Do you suppose he's single? -Hmm? 446 00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:47,343 I was getting up the nerve to give him my phone number. 447 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:48,845 CLINT: Excuse me, everyone. 448 00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:52,764 I just want to thank you all for this warm welcome to KACL. 449 00:20:52,848 --> 00:20:57,143 And as a token of my gratitude, I'd like to share this song with you. 450 00:20:57,227 --> 00:20:58,895 Clint, there's been a little change in plans. 451 00:20:58,979 --> 00:21:01,231 Yes, I'm going to be your accompanist now. 452 00:21:02,274 --> 00:21:03,275 Get up. 453 00:21:04,776 --> 00:21:06,778 [PLAYING "ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?"] 454 00:21:07,613 --> 00:21:10,656 [OFF-KEY] ♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪ 455 00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:12,115 ♪ Music in the night ♪ 456 00:21:12,199 --> 00:21:15,578 ♪ A dream that can't be heard ♪ 457 00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:18,831 ♪ Isn't it romantic? ♪ 458 00:21:18,915 --> 00:21:21,333 Please, everybody. Nobody's perfect. 459 00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:26,047 ♪ The oldest magic word ♪ 460 00:21:26,672 --> 00:21:27,839 ♪ I… ♪ 461 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,885 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 462 00:21:32,969 --> 00:21:35,655 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 463 00:21:35,739 --> 00:21:38,057 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 464 00:21:38,141 --> 00:21:39,142 Oh, my. 465 00:21:40,018 --> 00:21:42,603 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 466 00:21:42,687 --> 00:21:44,855 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I've got you pegged ♪ 467 00:21:44,939 --> 00:21:47,148 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 468 00:21:47,232 --> 00:21:48,650 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 469 00:21:48,734 --> 00:21:52,196 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 470 00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:55,574 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 471 00:21:57,034 --> 00:21:59,446 Scrambled eggs all over my face. 472 00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:01,205 What is a boy to do? 473 00:22:03,665 --> 00:22:06,668 Frasier has left the building.