1 00:00:02,155 --> 00:00:04,157 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,579 --> 00:00:10,871 -Frasier. Roz. -Oh, Niles. 3 00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:13,499 -I'd join you, but there's not a chair. -Actually, I was just leaving. 4 00:00:13,583 --> 00:00:15,209 -You can have mine. -Oh. 5 00:00:15,293 --> 00:00:19,423 Niles, every time I give you my chair, you wipe it off first. 6 00:00:19,507 --> 00:00:21,050 It's just insulting. 7 00:00:23,761 --> 00:00:26,514 For your information, I was reaching for my cell phone. 8 00:00:28,391 --> 00:00:32,102 Oh. I'm sorry, Niles. I stepped out of line. 9 00:00:32,186 --> 00:00:34,186 -See you later, Frasier. -Bye-bye, Roz. 10 00:00:34,772 --> 00:00:36,440 [PHONE RINGS] 11 00:00:36,524 --> 00:00:38,734 -Cafe Nervosa. -This is Dr. Crane at table seven. 12 00:00:38,818 --> 00:00:40,360 Could you send someone to dust off my chair? 13 00:00:40,444 --> 00:00:43,947 Oh, for God's sake, Niles. Fine, I'll just do it. 14 00:00:44,031 --> 00:00:46,325 It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. 15 00:00:46,409 --> 00:00:47,827 Stop it. Just sit down. 16 00:00:48,828 --> 00:00:49,787 [FRASIER SIGHS] 17 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:52,832 May I have one of those? 18 00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:56,627 I understand you had a full dance card this weekend. 19 00:00:56,711 --> 00:00:57,711 Yes, indeed. 20 00:00:57,795 --> 00:01:00,895 I met a lovely young artist at the gallery opening on Saturday. 21 00:01:01,758 --> 00:01:05,470 We went out for coffee afterwards, and our date lasted until, well… 22 00:01:06,221 --> 00:01:10,517 The cows didn't actually come home, but I did hear mooing on the front porch. 23 00:01:12,352 --> 00:01:13,936 Wait, I'm drawing a blank. 24 00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:16,064 The only woman I remember you chatting with at the gallery 25 00:01:16,148 --> 00:01:19,943 was the one in Birkenstocks who went on and on about her driftwood collages. 26 00:01:20,986 --> 00:01:22,904 -Yes, that's Caitlin. -Oh. 27 00:01:23,572 --> 00:01:25,990 We seem different on the surface, but once you get to know her, 28 00:01:26,074 --> 00:01:29,077 trust me, she is really a breath of fresh air. 29 00:01:29,161 --> 00:01:29,994 Hmm. 30 00:01:30,078 --> 00:01:33,373 God, I haven't felt this excited about a relationship in ages. 31 00:01:33,457 --> 00:01:35,834 Well, that's wonderful, Frasier. Thank you. 32 00:01:36,919 --> 00:01:38,519 -Is she from around here? -Hmm? 33 00:01:39,505 --> 00:01:42,716 -Oh, it didn't come up. -Oh, I see. 34 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,887 -Well, where'd she go to school? -She didn't mention it. 35 00:01:49,557 --> 00:01:51,225 -Probably art school. -Well, yes. 36 00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:53,560 Being an artist, I'm sure she is enthusiastic 37 00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:56,021 about the finer things, literature, music… 38 00:01:56,105 --> 00:01:58,316 I don't know. We never got around to that. 39 00:01:58,816 --> 00:02:00,984 You know what? I think I'm putting you on the spot here. 40 00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:05,072 Let's just leave it at congratulations on your new… relationship. 41 00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:07,408 What are you implying? 42 00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:10,995 Oh, I think we both know what kind of relationship we're talking about. 43 00:02:11,537 --> 00:02:15,042 Would you stop saying the word "relationship" that way? "Relationship." 44 00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:18,962 I'm not condemning you for your little… fling. 45 00:02:19,046 --> 00:02:20,005 Oh, for God's sake. 46 00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:23,258 Don't try to pass it off as something deeper than it is. 47 00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:25,385 The only thing you have in common is the faint impression 48 00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:27,471 of the word "Sealy" on your backsides. 49 00:02:32,017 --> 00:02:33,852 Listen, Niles, I would never stay in a relationship 50 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,979 if I didn't think there was some real future in it. 51 00:02:36,063 --> 00:02:38,231 In other words, if you were to realize that the two of you 52 00:02:38,315 --> 00:02:40,525 had nothing in common beyond the physical, you'd break it off? 53 00:02:40,609 --> 00:02:42,610 -Yes, absolutely. In a heartbeat. -Oh… 54 00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:43,611 It's a principle of mine. 55 00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:45,280 This topic comes up all the time on my show. 56 00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:46,448 What do I always say? 57 00:02:47,032 --> 00:02:47,907 Um… 58 00:02:47,991 --> 00:02:50,034 Surely you must listen occasionally. 59 00:02:50,118 --> 00:02:51,911 Of course I listen occasionally. 60 00:02:51,995 --> 00:02:54,081 It's just I'm usually busy between 11:00 and 1:00. 61 00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:55,765 My show is on from 2:00 to 5:00. 62 00:03:01,589 --> 00:03:03,924 -I can't wait to see the look on his face. -Me too. 63 00:03:04,008 --> 00:03:06,177 -He doesn't have a clue. -Good. All set. 64 00:03:06,845 --> 00:03:09,346 MARTIN, DAPHNE: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 65 00:03:09,430 --> 00:03:10,264 Oh, dear God. 66 00:03:10,348 --> 00:03:13,184 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 67 00:03:13,268 --> 00:03:16,854 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Eddie ♪ 68 00:03:16,938 --> 00:03:20,357 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 69 00:03:20,441 --> 00:03:21,692 [MARTIN, DAPHNE CHEER] 70 00:03:21,776 --> 00:03:23,653 Okay, come on, let's do it together. 71 00:03:24,362 --> 00:03:25,488 Good boy. 72 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:29,074 -[DOORBELL RINGS] -Great. That was terrific. [LAUGHS] 73 00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:31,829 -I wonder if he made a wish. -I know I did. 74 00:03:33,205 --> 00:03:34,623 -Niles. -Hello, Frasier. 75 00:03:34,707 --> 00:03:36,875 Daphne, Dad, step lively. We don't want to miss the previews. 76 00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:40,629 In a minute. Come on, birthday boy. I haven't given you your present yet. 77 00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:44,133 I got him a brand-new rubber eeseburger-chay. 78 00:03:47,219 --> 00:03:49,429 So, Frasier, can we convince you to join us? 79 00:03:49,513 --> 00:03:50,931 I don't think so, Dr. Crane. 80 00:03:51,015 --> 00:03:53,433 Your brother's been slaving away in the kitchen all afternoon. 81 00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:55,727 Actually, I'm having Caitlin over for dinner. 82 00:03:55,811 --> 00:03:57,062 Oh. 83 00:03:57,897 --> 00:03:59,189 For dinner. 84 00:04:04,028 --> 00:04:07,531 And what would you be preparing for… dinner? 85 00:04:08,532 --> 00:04:09,741 [DOORBELL RINGS] 86 00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:12,703 I'd thank you to stop with your sniggering insinuations 87 00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:15,237 that Caitlin and I share nothing but the physical. 88 00:04:15,624 --> 00:04:17,574 There are many things that we do share. 89 00:04:17,751 --> 00:04:18,627 Caitlin. 90 00:04:21,796 --> 00:04:23,298 Now they're sharing a Tic Tac. 91 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,387 Let me take your coat. You remember Niles, of course. 92 00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:31,389 And this is Daphne, Caitlin. 93 00:04:31,473 --> 00:04:32,515 -Oh, hello. -CAITLIN: Hello. 94 00:04:32,599 --> 00:04:34,141 We'll be out of your way in a minute. 95 00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:36,561 Just as soon as I can tear Mr. Crane away from Eddie. 96 00:04:36,645 --> 00:04:39,939 Yes, he's having a little birthday party for his dog. 97 00:04:40,023 --> 00:04:41,190 Oh, how old is he? 98 00:04:41,274 --> 00:04:44,110 Too old to be having a birthday party for his dog. 99 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,113 Anyway, can I interest you in a drink? 100 00:04:47,197 --> 00:04:49,783 I've just opened a bottle of Côte de Brouilly. 101 00:04:49,867 --> 00:04:50,909 You must've been saving it. 102 00:04:50,993 --> 00:04:53,328 Bourgogne hasn't made a decent Beaujolais in years. 103 00:04:53,412 --> 00:04:55,373 Well, do you hear that, Niles? 104 00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:59,961 Our Caitlin is a fellow oenophile. 105 00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:02,754 When I was little, my father owned a vineyard. 106 00:05:02,838 --> 00:05:05,215 I was the only kid on the block who'd open a can of Hawaiian punch 107 00:05:05,299 --> 00:05:07,759 -and let it breathe. -[FRASIER LAUGHS] 108 00:05:07,843 --> 00:05:11,054 And we share that same quirky sense of humor. 109 00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:12,931 -Would you care for a glass? -No, thanks. 110 00:05:13,015 --> 00:05:14,683 Actually, I've always hated the taste of wine. 111 00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:17,269 Finally. Something I can use to tell you two apart. 112 00:05:22,817 --> 00:05:23,692 A martini, then? 113 00:05:23,776 --> 00:05:27,822 I cut out alcohol last year, along with processed sugar, dairy products and meat. 114 00:05:27,906 --> 00:05:31,492 Oh, I hope I'm not screwing up your menu. What are you serving? 115 00:05:31,576 --> 00:05:34,413 Well, so far, parsley… 116 00:05:36,331 --> 00:05:38,834 And curvy orange slices. 117 00:05:40,085 --> 00:05:41,419 But we'll make do. 118 00:05:41,503 --> 00:05:44,088 -Let me get you a glass of mineral water. -Thanks. 119 00:05:44,172 --> 00:05:47,634 Please, help yourself to the melon slices. Just… 120 00:05:49,011 --> 00:05:50,512 Unwind the prosciutto. 121 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:56,434 Frasier, I owe you an apology. You two are perfectly compatible. 122 00:05:56,518 --> 00:05:59,228 How long will it be before we're all standing outside a wedding chapel 123 00:05:59,312 --> 00:06:01,606 pelting you both with whole-grain brown rice? 124 00:06:02,441 --> 00:06:03,816 Spare me your sarcasm. 125 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,445 Oh, come on, let me have my fun. 126 00:06:06,529 --> 00:06:09,406 You're certainly having yours, even if you deny that that's what you're doing. 127 00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,159 Niles, I've already told you, I would never continue a relationship 128 00:06:12,243 --> 00:06:13,911 if I didn't think there was some future in it. 129 00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:16,372 And I happen to believe that there is in this one. 130 00:06:16,456 --> 00:06:18,415 Haven't you ever heard of opposites attracting? 131 00:06:18,499 --> 00:06:22,002 Where I am worldly, Caitlin is unspoiled. 132 00:06:22,086 --> 00:06:24,756 Rather remarkable, given her terror of preservatives. 133 00:06:26,299 --> 00:06:28,425 CAITLIN: Oh, Frasier, I just met your dad. 134 00:06:28,509 --> 00:06:30,886 -Did you know we're both Libras? -FRASIER: No. 135 00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:35,725 Which explains why I'm so perky, open-minded and quick to tears. 136 00:06:37,101 --> 00:06:39,770 -And don't forget outgoing. -No, I didn't. 137 00:06:39,854 --> 00:06:42,106 -All right, everybody coming? -Bye. 138 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:44,776 -It was nice meeting you all. -Yes, nice to meet you too, Caitlin. 139 00:06:44,860 --> 00:06:46,361 -I'll walk you to the door. -All right… 140 00:06:46,445 --> 00:06:48,321 Will you stop smirking? 141 00:06:48,405 --> 00:06:50,490 It's gonna take more than a harmless dabbling in astrology 142 00:06:50,574 --> 00:06:52,617 to dim the charm of this appealing young woman. 143 00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:56,872 Oh, my God. [CHUCKLES] This is the coolest chair. 144 00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:00,334 Just get out. 145 00:07:05,422 --> 00:07:07,424 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 146 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:12,471 Morning, Frasier. 147 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,140 Oh. Morning, Dad. 148 00:07:15,933 --> 00:07:16,934 What's the matter? 149 00:07:19,686 --> 00:07:20,562 It's Caitlin. 150 00:07:22,231 --> 00:07:23,566 I'm in hell. 151 00:07:25,318 --> 00:07:29,114 Last night I experienced the most intense physical pleasure I've ever known. 152 00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:33,243 Frasier, before you continue, 153 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,746 I shared my bed last night with a dog. 154 00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:42,752 That's not the problem, Dad. 155 00:07:43,878 --> 00:07:47,256 It's just that there's absolutely no future for me and Caitlin. 156 00:07:47,340 --> 00:07:50,718 Well, I gotta say, I never thought there was. She's a flake. 157 00:07:50,802 --> 00:07:52,220 Well, that's not the point. 158 00:07:52,846 --> 00:07:56,348 Granted, there are aspects of her personality that I find off-putting. 159 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,582 -Like her being a flake. -Well, all right. 160 00:07:59,602 --> 00:08:03,523 It's just difficult to walk away from something so intoxicating. 161 00:08:03,607 --> 00:08:06,235 Fras, I'm just gonna say one thing. 162 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:10,781 Watch out for this woman. I know how these things work. 163 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,700 -You've experienced something like this? -I didn't say that. 164 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,286 I just know the type. 165 00:08:16,453 --> 00:08:19,373 Today she's got you going against your better judgment. 166 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,751 Pretty soon you'll be thinking about her all the time, 167 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:27,673 losing sleep, missing work, neglecting your friends. 168 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,135 And then pretty soon you'll get caught naked with her 169 00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:34,013 in the backseat of your squad car. 170 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,190 But, anyway, the point is, 171 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,591 the longer you put this off, the harder it's gonna be to end it. 172 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,113 You're absolutely right, Dad. 173 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,824 Gotta nip this thing in the bud. 174 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,909 I'm gonna go over there right now. 175 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,911 Doing anything else would just make me a hypocrite. 176 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,539 You know, just yesterday 177 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:03,543 I dedicated an entire theme show to the importance of self-control. 178 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:06,630 -You did? -Doesn't anybody listen? 179 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,798 [SIGHS] 180 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,306 -CAITLIN: Who is it? -It's Frasier. 181 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,019 CAITLIN: Oh, my God. Why didn't you call first? 182 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:24,356 Oh, I'm working on one of my collages. I'm covered in paint. 183 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,026 I got turpentine in my hair. I'm all sweaty. 184 00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:31,321 It'll only take a moment. I need to talk to you about something. 185 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,909 CAITLIN: Oh, all right, but be nice. 186 00:09:37,203 --> 00:09:38,204 Well, actually, I… 187 00:09:39,455 --> 00:09:41,374 Good Lord, you really do look… 188 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,085 Good Lord. 189 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,804 -Hey, Roz. -Hey, Daphne, is Frasier here? 190 00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:56,723 No, he's not back yet. 191 00:09:56,807 --> 00:10:00,643 He was supposed to meet me at the café over an hour ago to finish this paperwork. 192 00:10:00,727 --> 00:10:02,145 Now he can do it himself. 193 00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:04,690 -Can I use our powder room? -Yeah, of course. 194 00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:10,153 Obviously Frasier's attempt to break up with Caitlin has gone awry again. 195 00:10:10,237 --> 00:10:12,322 Thanks to him, I have missed the wine tasting. 196 00:10:12,406 --> 00:10:15,283 What kind of weak-willed man allows a woman to come between him 197 00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:17,202 and a 1981 Cheval Blanc? 198 00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:19,078 You know, just out of curiosity, 199 00:10:19,162 --> 00:10:22,862 why didn't you go by yourself instead of sit here with me for half an hour? 200 00:10:26,044 --> 00:10:28,338 I was worried about him, Daphne, worried sick. 201 00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:29,965 [DOOR OPENS] 202 00:10:30,716 --> 00:10:31,758 -Hello. -NILES: Oh. 203 00:10:31,842 --> 00:10:34,592 DAPHNE: Dr. Crane. Were you at Caitlin's all this time? 204 00:10:35,221 --> 00:10:39,350 Heavens, no. I stopped by early this morning. 205 00:10:40,143 --> 00:10:43,270 We've decided to go our separate ways. 206 00:10:43,354 --> 00:10:47,358 And then I, uh, met up with Roz, went over some paperwork. 207 00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:48,692 You know how she is these days. 208 00:10:48,776 --> 00:10:51,446 Get her on one of her troubles and yak, yak, yak. 209 00:10:52,822 --> 00:10:54,949 And yet she makes every story so interesting, 210 00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:57,701 I could listen to her for hours. 211 00:10:57,785 --> 00:11:00,079 Knock it off, Frasier. Where have you been? 212 00:11:00,163 --> 00:11:02,415 Oh, well, where do you think I've been? 213 00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:07,545 Trying to break up with Caitlin. But did I do it? No. 214 00:11:08,254 --> 00:11:12,133 And why? Because I'm Frasier, and I'm a sexoholic. 215 00:11:21,393 --> 00:11:23,520 It's obvious what's happening here. 216 00:11:23,604 --> 00:11:26,147 You are having a purely sexual fling. 217 00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:28,984 That happens to all of us at some time in our lives. 218 00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:31,361 The one where the chemistry is perfect, 219 00:11:31,445 --> 00:11:33,238 where you can't even be alone together in a room 220 00:11:33,322 --> 00:11:36,491 without tearing each other's clothes off and jumping each other. 221 00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:37,867 Does this sound familiar? 222 00:11:37,951 --> 00:11:39,161 FRASIER, DAPHNE: Yes. 223 00:11:40,079 --> 00:11:41,163 Yeah… 224 00:11:45,209 --> 00:11:49,630 Everyone's had a relationship like that. I know I have. His name was… 225 00:11:50,964 --> 00:11:52,591 -Go on. Come on. -I can't tell you this. 226 00:11:52,675 --> 00:11:53,843 It's too embarrassing. 227 00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:56,095 We're all friends here. We're trying to help Frasier. 228 00:11:56,179 --> 00:11:59,265 Oh, it was so long ago. I don't even remember all the details. 229 00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:00,350 Take a minute. 230 00:12:02,769 --> 00:12:05,521 Well, it all started one afternoon 231 00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:07,940 when I was sunbathing on the roof of our building. 232 00:12:08,024 --> 00:12:10,526 I was concerned about tan lines in those days, 233 00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:13,362 so I decided to unhook my bikini top. 234 00:12:13,446 --> 00:12:15,073 -[PHONE RINGING] -I'll get it. 235 00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:22,663 -Hello? -ROZ: Gosh, mine was this lifeguard. 236 00:12:22,747 --> 00:12:26,500 He had long blond hair and the bluest eyes. 237 00:12:26,584 --> 00:12:28,294 He used to get so sunburned, 238 00:12:28,378 --> 00:12:32,007 I'd spend hours just peeling the skin off his back. 239 00:12:33,384 --> 00:12:34,802 What was his name? 240 00:12:36,095 --> 00:12:38,930 Rick? Nick? I know there was an "ick" sound. 241 00:12:39,014 --> 00:12:41,058 I was about to make one of those myself. 242 00:12:42,685 --> 00:12:46,063 My mother picks the worst times to call. Did I miss anything? 243 00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:48,231 No. I believe you were starting to tell us a story. 244 00:12:48,315 --> 00:12:50,233 -Oh, yeah, that's right. -NILES: Yeah. 245 00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:53,653 Well, once I got my top off, I started thinking to myself, 246 00:12:53,737 --> 00:12:55,655 "You know, I've never had an all-over tan." 247 00:12:55,739 --> 00:12:58,784 So I looked about to see if I was still alone. 248 00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:00,077 Then I started to slip off my 249 00:13:00,161 --> 00:13:02,161 -[TIMER DINGS] -Oh. The rolls are done. 250 00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:08,001 We haven't heard anything from you, Niles. 251 00:13:08,085 --> 00:13:12,340 Oh, I don't think we're exactly in Niles' wheelhouse. [CHUCKLES] 252 00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:14,050 I beg your pardon? 253 00:13:14,134 --> 00:13:17,387 Come on, I've heard your stories. They're not the steamiest stuff. 254 00:13:17,471 --> 00:13:20,640 Obviously you've forgotten the semester I spent living in Paris. 255 00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:23,518 I'll have you know I had a torrid affair with a married woman. 256 00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,812 -Really? -I'm sorry, Niles. I had no idea. 257 00:13:25,896 --> 00:13:28,064 It's not something I boast about. 258 00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:30,108 The attraction was simply overpowering. 259 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:34,070 Every Thursday, two o'clock, the Hotel de Boulogne. 260 00:13:34,905 --> 00:13:39,451 We'd arrive separately, climb the stairs, open the door, and… 261 00:13:40,827 --> 00:13:41,953 Ooh là-là. 262 00:13:44,789 --> 00:13:46,166 Oh, what an embrace. 263 00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:49,336 Afterwards, she'd whisper to me, 264 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:52,423 "There's something so sweet in your eyes, and it…" 265 00:13:52,507 --> 00:13:56,135 "Does me so much good," said Emma Bovary. 266 00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:01,223 If you're going to steal a love life, 267 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:03,457 don't steal from the classics, you imbecile. 268 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,381 The part about being in Paris is true. 269 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,484 DAPHNE: Here we are. 270 00:14:12,568 --> 00:14:14,486 Got them out of the oven just in time. 271 00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:16,280 Another minute and I would've had burnt buns. 272 00:14:16,364 --> 00:14:18,115 Which brings us back to your story. 273 00:14:19,534 --> 00:14:23,370 Well, there I was wearing nothing but a smile 274 00:14:23,454 --> 00:14:25,205 when the sun started to shift. 275 00:14:25,289 --> 00:14:29,711 So I moved behind the water tower, and who was lying there but Derrick, 276 00:14:29,795 --> 00:14:31,921 the good-looking farmer from across the hall, 277 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,966 who was also getting an all-over tan, I might add. 278 00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:37,343 So I had two choices. 279 00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,804 I could either tiptoe away or 280 00:14:39,888 --> 00:14:41,014 -[KETTLE WHISTLING] -Tea. 281 00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:44,142 No, sit! My God, must Daphne do everything around here? 282 00:14:46,728 --> 00:14:50,231 I'll get it. I could use a glass of ice water anyway. 283 00:14:50,315 --> 00:14:51,900 You're not the only one. 284 00:14:51,984 --> 00:14:53,860 Let me give you a hand. 285 00:14:53,944 --> 00:14:56,405 -So is any of this helping? -Not much. 286 00:14:57,072 --> 00:14:59,240 ROZ: You know, I gotta make a point here. 287 00:14:59,324 --> 00:15:01,201 For as long as I've known you, 288 00:15:01,285 --> 00:15:04,037 you've been complaining about your lack of a sex life. 289 00:15:04,121 --> 00:15:07,541 Suddenly you have one, so why are you still complaining? 290 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:10,461 Well, it just seems wrong. 291 00:15:10,545 --> 00:15:13,589 -I've thought a lot about this… -Oh, that's your problem. 292 00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:15,423 You've thought too much about this. 293 00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:18,969 You know, why don't you just stop listening to your head 294 00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:21,055 and start listening to your body? 295 00:15:21,139 --> 00:15:23,349 You're obviously enjoying this. 296 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:25,017 Why do you have to feel so guilty about it? 297 00:15:25,101 --> 00:15:27,686 Well, it's just that I'm afraid I have no future with her. 298 00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:28,646 So? 299 00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:32,358 Well, maybe she thinks that she has a future with me. 300 00:15:32,442 --> 00:15:34,026 Well, then it would be wrong. 301 00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:36,904 -But is that how she feels? -I don't know. 302 00:15:36,988 --> 00:15:38,239 Ask her. 303 00:15:38,323 --> 00:15:40,991 If she feels the same way you do, you should just enjoy yourself. 304 00:15:41,075 --> 00:15:44,830 These things don't come around very often. And they don't last when they do. 305 00:15:45,539 --> 00:15:47,082 Well, you're right, of course. 306 00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:50,066 Overthinking things can certainly spoil anything. 307 00:15:50,294 --> 00:15:53,213 It's funny, I gave the same advice the other day on my show 308 00:15:53,297 --> 00:15:56,132 -to that lawyer from Bainbridge. -I don't remember that. 309 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:59,553 You were five feet away. Doesn't anyone listen? 310 00:15:59,637 --> 00:16:02,264 And it wasn't until afterwards that we realized 311 00:16:02,348 --> 00:16:05,476 we'd rolled onto the skylight above the main stairwell. 312 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,066 Oh, we took some ribbing about that, we did. 313 00:16:37,384 --> 00:16:38,926 [OVEN DOOR CLOSES] 314 00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:41,262 CAITLIN: Well, I think I got everything under control. 315 00:16:41,346 --> 00:16:44,015 Dinner should be ready in about 20 minutes. 316 00:16:44,099 --> 00:16:46,768 -Smells wonderful. -Mm. So do you. 317 00:16:47,602 --> 00:16:49,812 -Caitlin, you know… -Yes? 318 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:54,067 Well, I wanted to ask you, where do you see this going? 319 00:16:54,984 --> 00:16:57,862 Well, right now I'm heading to your earlobe, 320 00:16:57,946 --> 00:17:01,075 but if you care to reroute me, I'm open to suggestions. 321 00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:06,705 No, I mean our relationship. We've never talked about it. 322 00:17:06,789 --> 00:17:10,083 Oh. Gee, I don't know. 323 00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:14,463 I guess I was kind of looking at this as a nice casual thing. 324 00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:17,049 -I hope that doesn't disappoint you. -No, not at all. 325 00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:18,592 I'm actually relieved. 326 00:17:18,676 --> 00:17:21,303 I… I've been loving things the way they are too. 327 00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:23,513 -Yeah, we're just having some fun, right? -Right. 328 00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:25,558 Well, fun doesn't begin to describe it. 329 00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:29,478 I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page. 330 00:17:29,562 --> 00:17:31,313 Is that what's been on your mind? 331 00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:33,023 I thought you were tense these last few days. 332 00:17:33,107 --> 00:17:36,026 I even went and got some hot oil to give you a massage. 333 00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:38,195 I guess we won't be needing that now. 334 00:17:38,279 --> 00:17:42,117 Well, I have been terribly worried about this global warming situation. 335 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,119 Well, we've got some time before dinner. I'll go get the oil. 336 00:17:48,707 --> 00:17:51,959 -I'm so glad we had this conversation. -Yeah, me too. 337 00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:56,547 I mean, I was starting to worry that you were scared off by my lifestyle. 338 00:17:56,631 --> 00:17:58,174 I mean, I'm pretty out-there. 339 00:17:58,258 --> 00:18:00,343 Oh, Caitlin, Caitlin… 340 00:18:02,053 --> 00:18:03,930 I'm not as narrow-minded as all that. 341 00:18:04,014 --> 00:18:05,682 I think we have a wonderful chemistry. 342 00:18:05,766 --> 00:18:08,559 That's enough to offset a few minor differences. 343 00:18:08,643 --> 00:18:10,436 CAITLIN: You can be taking your shirt off. 344 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,772 Ooh. Well… [CHUCKLING] 345 00:18:12,856 --> 00:18:14,274 Same goes, by the way. 346 00:18:15,817 --> 00:18:18,946 You know, I just love these converted loft spaces. 347 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:21,824 I wonder what this one was before you moved in. 348 00:18:22,575 --> 00:18:26,870 Judging by these meat hooks, I'd say a slaughterhouse, huh? 349 00:18:26,954 --> 00:18:30,249 No, I put those in. It was a day care center. 350 00:18:34,754 --> 00:18:39,425 Oh, you artists, with your whimsical decorating touches. 351 00:18:41,552 --> 00:18:43,095 Oh, that's a… 352 00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,765 That's a mousetrap, isn't it? 353 00:18:47,225 --> 00:18:49,768 -Do you get many mice? -I wish. 354 00:18:49,852 --> 00:18:51,354 I use them in my art. 355 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:56,860 Dead mice? 356 00:18:56,944 --> 00:19:00,113 Yeah, they're part of my newest collage series. 357 00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:02,115 It's all about mortality. 358 00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:06,035 Caitlin, you… 359 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:07,746 You've cut your hair. 360 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:11,332 Yeah, sometimes the spirit just grabs me, and I gotta do it. 361 00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,084 It's really very freeing. 362 00:19:13,168 --> 00:19:14,586 Plus, I think there's something great 363 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,548 about using your body parts for a practical use. 364 00:19:19,299 --> 00:19:20,425 Well, it's, uh… 365 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,219 It's different. 366 00:19:23,303 --> 00:19:25,347 It's still beautiful, nonetheless. 367 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,432 Is that all your hair? 368 00:19:28,475 --> 00:19:29,768 It's mostly mine. 369 00:19:34,691 --> 00:19:39,445 -You know, Caitlin, I'm thinking… -No, no, no, don't think. 370 00:19:39,529 --> 00:19:44,325 The secret to a good massage is to let the mind rest… 371 00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:47,077 -Uh-huh. -…and listen to the body. 372 00:19:47,161 --> 00:19:48,621 -Right. -Yeah. 373 00:19:48,705 --> 00:19:49,706 Okay. 374 00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:54,043 Go ahead, body. I'm listening. 375 00:19:55,503 --> 00:19:58,756 -Mm. -Oh, God, yeah, that feels good. 376 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,490 You know, if we move to the bed, I could give you a more thorough massage. 377 00:20:04,721 --> 00:20:07,724 Oh, I just remembered it's a full moon tonight. 378 00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:12,854 -Look. Isn't that beautiful? -How romantic. 379 00:20:12,938 --> 00:20:15,524 You know, there's nothing like a full moon to make one want to… 380 00:20:15,608 --> 00:20:18,235 [CAITLIN HOWLS] 381 00:20:23,073 --> 00:20:23,907 Caitlin? 382 00:20:23,991 --> 00:20:27,035 I'm a member of the Lycanthrope Society. 383 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,246 As in werewolf? 384 00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:33,625 Not literally. It's a group of women who believe that the moon controls our cycles. 385 00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:36,002 And this is our way of paying our respect. 386 00:20:36,086 --> 00:20:39,089 [HOWLS] 387 00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:43,051 Besides, you've heard me howl before. 388 00:20:43,135 --> 00:20:47,473 Well, yes, but in that context, I took it as a compliment. 389 00:20:49,391 --> 00:20:52,937 Oh, Frasier, you're getting all tense again. 390 00:20:53,021 --> 00:20:54,940 It's the hair pillows, isn't it? 391 00:20:55,649 --> 00:20:57,066 Yes, that, and 392 00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,402 -[MOUSETRAP SNAPS] -Oh, got one! 393 00:20:59,486 --> 00:21:00,654 Among other things. 394 00:21:02,405 --> 00:21:06,325 Listen, Caitlin, I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't such a good idea. 395 00:21:06,409 --> 00:21:09,370 -What do you mean? -Well, you know, we're just so different. 396 00:21:09,454 --> 00:21:12,623 I'm basically your stuffy, buttoned-down sort of guy. 397 00:21:12,707 --> 00:21:15,418 And you're, well… You're a free-spirited, adventurous, 398 00:21:15,502 --> 00:21:17,796 mouse-painting, moon-howling sort of girl. 399 00:21:19,464 --> 00:21:23,676 Is even the most satisfying sexual relationship enough 400 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,011 to bridge that gap? 401 00:21:25,095 --> 00:21:26,638 Well, I think so. 402 00:21:28,264 --> 00:21:29,433 What do you think? 403 00:21:32,186 --> 00:21:34,188 [HOWLS] 404 00:21:40,611 --> 00:21:41,695 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 405 00:21:41,779 --> 00:21:44,516 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 406 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,909 ♪ Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ♪ 407 00:21:46,993 --> 00:21:48,202 Mercy. 408 00:21:48,744 --> 00:21:51,309 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 409 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,957 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 410 00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:55,834 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 411 00:21:55,918 --> 00:21:57,377 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 412 00:21:57,461 --> 00:22:00,256 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 413 00:22:01,757 --> 00:22:04,343 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 414 00:22:04,427 --> 00:22:07,638 Frasier has left the building.