1 00:00:02,257 --> 00:00:04,259 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,391 --> 00:00:12,268 -Dear God. -Hey, Frasier. 3 00:00:12,352 --> 00:00:13,978 It's a minefield out there. 4 00:00:14,062 --> 00:00:16,815 Everywhere I go people are talking about this miniseries I've been watching. 5 00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:19,067 Oh, yeah. Did you see the ending last night when that… 6 00:00:19,151 --> 00:00:21,570 Bup, bup, bup. I attended a benefit last night. 7 00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,613 I had to tape it. I have yet to see it. 8 00:00:23,697 --> 00:00:27,994 Oh. Well, who would've thought it? Mr. PBS watching a trashy miniseries. 9 00:00:28,078 --> 00:00:29,870 I don't think it's trashy at all. 10 00:00:29,954 --> 00:00:32,290 I think the intricacies of the plot are downright Dickensian. 11 00:00:32,374 --> 00:00:34,250 Yeah, Angie Dickensian. 12 00:00:35,043 --> 00:00:37,837 I'm just having a difficult time finding a conversation 13 00:00:37,921 --> 00:00:40,424 where I can avoid people telling me the ending. 14 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,593 -Hi, Roz, did you watch last night? -Yes. 15 00:00:42,677 --> 00:00:44,477 -Oh, wasn't it… -Goodbye, Betty. 16 00:00:50,018 --> 00:00:53,855 -Hey, Dr. Crane. How was your day? -Interminable. 17 00:00:53,939 --> 00:00:56,316 -Is the tape in the VCR? -Yes, it's all cued up. 18 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,736 You've got to call me when you get to the part with Heather's baby. 19 00:01:02,615 --> 00:01:04,658 -Heather had a baby? -Sorry. 20 00:01:04,742 --> 00:01:06,744 Who's the father? Oh, no, don't tell me. 21 00:01:06,828 --> 00:01:09,478 -I'll put your popcorn in the microwave. -Thank you. 22 00:01:10,081 --> 00:01:10,957 [SIGHS] 23 00:01:17,631 --> 00:01:18,840 [EXHALES] 24 00:01:18,924 --> 00:01:21,801 -Hey, Fras. -Hi, Dad. 25 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:23,262 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 26 00:01:23,346 --> 00:01:25,264 Look, I got some bad news. 27 00:01:25,348 --> 00:01:28,101 There isn't a good way to tell you something like this. 28 00:01:32,147 --> 00:01:33,481 Your god-uncle died. 29 00:01:34,817 --> 00:01:37,486 My… god-uncle? 30 00:01:39,196 --> 00:01:41,323 There's no such thing as a god-uncle. 31 00:01:41,407 --> 00:01:43,617 Yes, there is. It's your godfather's brother. 32 00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:45,662 You remember your god-uncle Charlie. 33 00:01:47,205 --> 00:01:50,667 No. I barely even remember my godfather. He died 20 years ago. 34 00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:53,169 Yeah? Now his brother's dead too, so shake a leg. 35 00:01:53,253 --> 00:01:54,962 The wake's in 20 minutes. 36 00:01:55,046 --> 00:01:58,425 As much as I'd like to pay my respects, catch up with my god-cousins 37 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,386 and meet the god-neighbors, 38 00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,473 I have urgent business that just can't wait until later. 39 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:07,811 All right, here's your popcorn and the remote. 40 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,480 There, enjoy your show. 41 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,861 Oh, all right. One hour. I don't even know why I'm going. 42 00:02:16,945 --> 00:02:19,782 The man was a ghoul. He used to hide his glass eye in my marble bag. 43 00:02:19,866 --> 00:02:21,784 -I knew you remembered him. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 44 00:02:21,868 --> 00:02:23,703 Just give me a couple of minutes to get changed. 45 00:02:23,787 --> 00:02:24,746 All right. 46 00:02:27,749 --> 00:02:29,459 -Hello, Frasier. -Oh. Hello, Niles. 47 00:02:29,543 --> 00:02:31,586 Oh, Niles. You'd be smart to get out. 48 00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:34,047 Dad's dragging me to a wake for my god-uncle Charlie. 49 00:02:34,131 --> 00:02:37,300 Is he the one who used to plop his eyeball into his mashed potatoes and say, 50 00:02:37,384 --> 00:02:39,084 -"I'm watching what I eat"? -Yes. 51 00:02:41,556 --> 00:02:44,559 -So is Daphne here? -Yes, she is. Why? 52 00:02:44,643 --> 00:02:48,146 I'm asking her out on a date. And don't give me that look. 53 00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:51,315 Why shouldn't I? She's single. I'm single. That's what single people do. 54 00:02:51,399 --> 00:02:53,485 -Are you sure you're ready for this? -Will you stop it? 55 00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:55,654 I'm not talking about eloping here. It's just dinner. 56 00:02:55,738 --> 00:02:58,574 Well, all right. I suppose you've thought this through. 57 00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:00,701 -Maybe it is time. -Time for what? 58 00:03:00,785 --> 00:03:04,789 Time for me to, uh, put this popcorn away for later. 59 00:03:04,873 --> 00:03:06,332 Aren't you gonna watch your program? 60 00:03:06,416 --> 00:03:08,543 Apparently he has to take Dad to a wake. 61 00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:09,586 Oh. 62 00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:11,379 -Listen, Daphne, do you have a minute? -Sure. 63 00:03:11,463 --> 00:03:13,632 I have something I wanted to ask you. Uh… 64 00:03:13,716 --> 00:03:16,016 It's nothing earth-shattering. It's just, uh… 65 00:03:17,637 --> 00:03:18,847 Yes? 66 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,515 What's that perfume you're wearing? 67 00:03:23,184 --> 00:03:25,896 Leave it to you to notice. It's Obsession. 68 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:27,690 No, it isn't. I was just curious. 69 00:03:30,192 --> 00:03:32,611 No, I'm quite sure it's Calvin Klein's Obsession. 70 00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:34,780 Oh, yes. It's very pleasing. 71 00:03:34,864 --> 00:03:37,575 I even spray a bit on my brush and comb it through my air. 72 00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:40,787 Silly, really. As if anyone's gonna smell my hair. 73 00:03:40,871 --> 00:03:41,955 [DAPHNE CHUCKLES] 74 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:47,377 -Well, what did she say? -I couldn't do it. 75 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:50,547 I was about to ask the question, then suddenly all I could think of was 76 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,673 what if she said no? 77 00:03:51,757 --> 00:03:52,884 Oh, Niles. 78 00:03:53,759 --> 00:03:55,135 It's no surprise. 79 00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:59,808 After all you've been through with Maris, you are just scared of another rejection. 80 00:03:59,892 --> 00:04:02,060 I was more than scared. I was terrified. 81 00:04:02,144 --> 00:04:05,522 I can't go on like this, worshiping Daphne from afar. 82 00:04:05,606 --> 00:04:08,566 Do you know how frustrating it is to be completely in love with someone 83 00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,700 and not be able to tell her how you feel? 84 00:04:13,031 --> 00:04:15,324 I'm sorry. I just came back for the fabric softener. 85 00:04:15,408 --> 00:04:17,535 I didn't mean… I'm sorry. 86 00:04:17,619 --> 00:04:19,537 -Oh, my God. Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. 87 00:04:20,539 --> 00:04:22,332 Frasier, how long was she standing there? 88 00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:24,292 I don't know. If I'd known Daphne was standing there, 89 00:04:24,376 --> 00:04:26,926 I would've said, "Shut up. Daphne's standing there." 90 00:04:28,213 --> 00:04:29,965 You saw how she ran out. She heard everything. 91 00:04:30,049 --> 00:04:32,093 Niles, Niles, listen, just calm down. 92 00:04:32,177 --> 00:04:34,637 This may be for the best. You said you wanted to take the next step. 93 00:04:34,721 --> 00:04:38,271 Yeah, the next step. I was just hurled down the entire flight of stairs. 94 00:04:39,267 --> 00:04:40,685 I can't believe this is happening. 95 00:04:40,769 --> 00:04:42,980 Did Daphne really hear me say I'm completely in love with… 96 00:04:43,064 --> 00:04:43,981 [NILES YELLS] 97 00:04:45,858 --> 00:04:48,986 I'm sorry. I really do need that fabric softener. 98 00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:58,079 -Niles, you've got to talk to her. -Now? I can't. 99 00:04:58,163 --> 00:05:00,164 If you wait, it'll only become incredibly awkward. 100 00:05:00,248 --> 00:05:01,666 You can't leave things like this. 101 00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:04,671 Come on, you've got to resolve it now. Go. Go. 102 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:06,881 Daphne… 103 00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:09,633 -Oh, Dr. Crane, I didn't… -Excuse me, I… 104 00:05:09,717 --> 00:05:12,512 -I hope you don't think I… -No, I… Go ahead. 105 00:05:13,429 --> 00:05:16,725 I'm terribly sorry. I know I wasn't supposed to hear that. 106 00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:18,268 No, I'm glad you heard. 107 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,602 It's something I've been wanting to tell you for the longest time. 108 00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,774 Well, what took you so long? 109 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,611 I think it's wonderful. 110 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,321 You do? 111 00:05:28,405 --> 00:05:30,406 Yes, of course I do. 112 00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:33,201 Oh, you dear, sweet man, give me a hug. 113 00:05:36,121 --> 00:05:37,415 [DAPHNE LAUGHING] 114 00:05:38,749 --> 00:05:40,376 [NILES LAUGHING] 115 00:05:43,504 --> 00:05:44,630 So who is she? 116 00:05:48,927 --> 00:05:51,137 -Who? -This woman you're so in love with. 117 00:05:51,221 --> 00:05:52,389 Who is she? 118 00:05:53,015 --> 00:05:54,975 You didn't hear that part, did you? 119 00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:59,731 No. So come on, what's her name? You can't back out now. 120 00:06:00,398 --> 00:06:01,941 No, you're right. I can't. 121 00:06:02,025 --> 00:06:03,234 Okay, her name. Well… 122 00:06:04,193 --> 00:06:06,446 Her name just happens to be… 123 00:06:07,905 --> 00:06:08,948 Da… Phyllis. 124 00:06:10,993 --> 00:06:14,413 Well, I've never heard that name, Da-Phyllis. 125 00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:18,750 -It's a family name. -Oh. 126 00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,961 Her friends call her Phyllis. 127 00:06:23,715 --> 00:06:24,674 Excuse me. 128 00:06:26,134 --> 00:06:27,385 I'll get some water. 129 00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:31,055 -Where's Niles? -Oh, he's in the kitchen. 130 00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:33,392 I'm sorry to barge in on you like that. 131 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,726 That's all right, Daphne. 132 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:37,646 -Did you and Niles have a little chat? -Oh, yes. 133 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,524 He was a bit shy at first, but then he came clean. 134 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,067 I couldn't be happier. 135 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:45,530 That is wonderful. Let me be the first to raise a glass to… 136 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,368 To God-Uncle Charlie. 137 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:56,254 You know, as long as you're doing laundry, the kitchen towels could use a washing. 138 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,836 Oh, and my oven mitts are getting a bit crunchy. 139 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,295 All right, then. 140 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,755 What the hell is going on? 141 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,674 All she heard was that I was in love with someone. 142 00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:06,678 She never heard who, and when she asked, I panicked and blurted out the first name 143 00:07:06,762 --> 00:07:09,598 -that popped into my head: Phyllis. -Phyllis? 144 00:07:10,474 --> 00:07:12,475 It's a neighbor I saw on the elevator. 145 00:07:12,559 --> 00:07:15,562 The woman had a sesame seed stuck between her front teeth. 146 00:07:15,646 --> 00:07:18,775 -It was the size of a blanched almond. -Oh, good Lord. 147 00:07:19,692 --> 00:07:20,818 Maybe it was a blanched almond. 148 00:07:20,902 --> 00:07:22,570 If she had Mueslix for breakfast, it could… 149 00:07:22,654 --> 00:07:23,571 Niles, stop! 150 00:07:24,697 --> 00:07:26,366 You have got to clear this up. 151 00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:31,913 Oh, uh, well, I'm off to bring the car around for Dad. 152 00:07:31,997 --> 00:07:33,081 -Bye-bye. -Bye. 153 00:07:33,165 --> 00:07:34,750 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 154 00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:37,878 All right, now, tell me more about this Phyllis. 155 00:07:37,962 --> 00:07:40,339 Oh. Actually, Daphne, I'd rather not. 156 00:07:40,423 --> 00:07:43,009 Oh, come on. You said you wanted to talk about it. 157 00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:45,511 -So have you asked her out yet? -No. 158 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:48,139 And why not? You said you were in love with her. 159 00:07:48,223 --> 00:07:50,267 -In love with who? -Phyllis. 160 00:07:50,351 --> 00:07:51,310 MARTIN: Who's Phyllis? 161 00:07:51,394 --> 00:07:53,812 -A woman I met. -DAPHNE: He's quite keen on her. 162 00:07:53,896 --> 00:07:55,773 I've just been giving him some dating advice. 163 00:07:55,857 --> 00:08:00,402 Oh, Niles. All you need to know is that women go crazy for flattery. 164 00:08:00,486 --> 00:08:03,386 Doesn't matter if it's a big fat lie. They'll still buy it. 165 00:08:03,866 --> 00:08:06,618 But whatever advice Daphne's giving you must be great 166 00:08:06,702 --> 00:08:08,244 because she's smart as a whip. 167 00:08:08,328 --> 00:08:10,455 Oh, thank you, Mr. Crane. 168 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:17,755 So tell me about this dream woman of yours. 169 00:08:17,839 --> 00:08:20,257 -Oh, I don't know. -Oh, come on. 170 00:08:20,341 --> 00:08:22,385 I can see you're crazy about her. 171 00:08:23,679 --> 00:08:26,056 Well… all right. 172 00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:32,730 She's very beautiful. And very sweet. 173 00:08:33,314 --> 00:08:36,234 And she has a smile that makes my knees weaken. 174 00:08:39,738 --> 00:08:43,908 You know, Dr. Crane, if this woman is as wonderful as you say she is, 175 00:08:43,992 --> 00:08:45,994 then you shouldn't waste another moment. 176 00:08:46,078 --> 00:08:48,748 -She won't be on the market forever. -You're right. 177 00:08:49,999 --> 00:08:51,708 I've been a fool to hesitate as long as I have. 178 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,293 -That's the spirit. -I'm gonna do it. 179 00:08:53,377 --> 00:08:56,422 Good for you. Don't leave time for second thoughts. 180 00:08:56,506 --> 00:09:00,009 -You go ask her out this instant. -Daphne, that won't be necessary. 181 00:09:00,093 --> 00:09:02,345 I know you're feeling brave, but it's quite nasty out. 182 00:09:02,429 --> 00:09:05,181 -No, you don't understand. -[THUNDER CRASHING] 183 00:09:05,265 --> 00:09:07,768 I don't have to leave this room to ask "Phyllis" on a date. 184 00:09:07,852 --> 00:09:09,979 -You don't? -No. Because… 185 00:09:10,772 --> 00:09:12,106 Because you see, Daphne… 186 00:09:14,025 --> 00:09:15,902 I know her work number by heart. 187 00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:18,071 Well, then. 188 00:09:22,409 --> 00:09:25,453 -Oh, look at me. My heart's racing. -Mine too. 189 00:09:25,537 --> 00:09:26,997 [CHUCKLES WEAKLY] 190 00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:31,670 Phyllis, hello. Niles Crane. 191 00:09:32,337 --> 00:09:34,422 How are you? [CHUCKLES] Um… 192 00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:37,676 I was wondering if you would wanna have dinner with me sometime. 193 00:09:38,426 --> 00:09:39,926 NILES [ON MACHINE]: You would? 194 00:09:40,554 --> 00:09:42,431 How about tonight at my place? 195 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,518 Eight o'clock sounds great. 196 00:09:51,232 --> 00:09:53,985 NILES: So, anyway, what would you do if you were in my position? 197 00:09:54,069 --> 00:09:58,019 Would you tell her everything and just let the chips fall where they may, or… 198 00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:00,325 Oh. Yeah. 199 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,370 -Well, I do see your point. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 200 00:10:03,454 --> 00:10:04,288 I have to run. 201 00:10:04,372 --> 00:10:07,583 So I'll take the three-year subscription and the travel clock. 202 00:10:17,803 --> 00:10:19,346 -Daphne. -Hello. 203 00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:20,722 I was out doing some shopping, 204 00:10:20,806 --> 00:10:24,309 and I thought you might need some dessert for your big dinner with Phyllis tonight. 205 00:10:24,393 --> 00:10:28,147 Oh, yes. Well, I was just doing some last-minute tidying up for that. 206 00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:31,275 Yeah, and I suppose you've got about eight things cooking on the stove. 207 00:10:31,359 --> 00:10:32,902 -Of course. -So I'll get out of your way. 208 00:10:32,986 --> 00:10:35,321 -Oh, thanks. -Soon as I pop this in the fridge. 209 00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:38,034 Oh, no, please, don't trouble yourself. I'll do it. 210 00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:45,123 Dr. Crane, there's barely enough pasta here for one person. 211 00:10:45,207 --> 00:10:47,878 Is this your idea of a romantic dinner? 212 00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:51,465 -Well… -Well, thank heavens I stopped by. 213 00:10:52,591 --> 00:10:54,759 I can whip up a salad with what's in here. 214 00:10:54,843 --> 00:10:57,470 I'll stick this roast in the microwave to defrost. 215 00:10:57,554 --> 00:11:00,224 -Where do you keep your cooking sherry? -You know what? You're right. 216 00:11:00,308 --> 00:11:02,518 I am completely under prepared for this. 217 00:11:02,602 --> 00:11:04,937 Why don't I call Phyllis and put her off till next week? 218 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:08,900 You're not backing out of this now. Look, don't worry. 219 00:11:08,984 --> 00:11:12,320 I'll fix this place right up for a nice intimate evening. 220 00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,781 Candles, some soft music… 221 00:11:14,865 --> 00:11:17,785 I know those things always put me in a romantic mood. 222 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,664 Well, I suppose it would be rude of me to cancel. 223 00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:24,125 Of course it would. Now hurry up and get ready. 224 00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:25,751 And wear that blue blazer. 225 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,935 -No woman can resist you in that. -Right. 226 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,006 Oh, good Lord, look at the time. 227 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,883 Honestly, Dr. Crane, sometimes I wonder 228 00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:34,887 what kind of a fantasy world you're living in. Now go on. 229 00:11:48,026 --> 00:11:50,028 [ARIA PLAYING ON STEREO] 230 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:04,586 Oh… don't you look handsome. 231 00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:08,131 Thank you. Daphne, this place looks wonderful. 232 00:12:08,215 --> 00:12:10,383 An excellent choice of music. I love this aria. 233 00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:12,844 Yes, she has a gorgeous voice, doesn't she? 234 00:12:12,928 --> 00:12:15,013 It's a pity she never got quite the recognition 235 00:12:15,097 --> 00:12:17,892 of a Joan Sutherland or a Renata Tebaldi. 236 00:12:18,601 --> 00:12:20,728 I had no idea you knew so much about sopranos. 237 00:12:20,812 --> 00:12:22,980 Yeah, well, you don't live with your brother for five years 238 00:12:23,064 --> 00:12:24,774 and not learn a thing or two about divas. 239 00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:26,860 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 240 00:12:26,944 --> 00:12:29,488 By the way, the roast is coming along nicely. 241 00:12:29,572 --> 00:12:31,948 -How are you at chopping vegetables? -Are you kidding? 242 00:12:32,032 --> 00:12:35,828 You don't get forearms like these from just conducting your stereo. 243 00:12:36,495 --> 00:12:38,539 You know, I'm very excited for you. 244 00:12:38,623 --> 00:12:41,918 -I just love first dates. -Oh, I don't see why. 245 00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:43,836 They're always so awkward. 246 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,673 Yeah, but once in a while, when the chemistry's just right, 247 00:12:47,757 --> 00:12:48,968 they can be magical. 248 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:52,888 The "me toos" as you realize all you have in common, 249 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,933 the electricity of that first accidental touch… 250 00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:59,228 Soon you're letting your guard down and saying the silliest things. 251 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,605 -Oh, oh, I'm sorry. -Oh. Sorry. 252 00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:02,482 You touched me. Now we have to get married. 253 00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:04,026 -Oh. What a stupid… -Here. 254 00:13:06,904 --> 00:13:08,780 -Pardon me. -Sorry. 255 00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:12,910 Now, I was thinking for the salad, some cucumbers and carrots. 256 00:13:12,994 --> 00:13:15,955 -How about celery? -Oh, no, no, no celery. I hate the stuff. 257 00:13:16,039 --> 00:13:17,164 -Me too. -Ah. 258 00:13:17,248 --> 00:13:19,834 -Why do you have it, then? -I guess it's just habit. 259 00:13:19,918 --> 00:13:23,268 Maris used to like to have it around in case she felt like bingeing. 260 00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:30,054 When I was little, I actually thought celery was the meanest vegetable. 261 00:13:31,138 --> 00:13:35,227 Radishes were the smartest. Beets were the policemen. 262 00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,272 What sort of personality do carrots have? 263 00:13:39,898 --> 00:13:42,498 I try not to think about that when I'm chopping them. 264 00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:55,165 -You hear that? We're chopping in rhythm. -Yes, we are, aren't we? 265 00:13:55,249 --> 00:13:59,210 ♪ Dum-da, dum-da, dum-da, dum, da ♪ 266 00:13:59,294 --> 00:14:01,588 -♪ Heart and soul ♪ -♪ Dum-da, dum-da ♪ 267 00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:03,381 -♪ I fell in love with you ♪ -♪ Dum-da, dum-da ♪ 268 00:14:03,465 --> 00:14:05,508 -♪ Heart and soul ♪ -♪ Dum-da, dum-da ♪ 269 00:14:05,592 --> 00:14:07,344 -♪ The way a fool would do ♪ -♪ Dum-da, dum-da ♪ 270 00:14:07,428 --> 00:14:11,640 BOTH: [HARMONIZING] ♪ Madly because you held me tight ♪ 271 00:14:11,724 --> 00:14:13,934 ♪ And stole a kiss in the night ♪ 272 00:14:14,018 --> 00:14:15,270 ♪ Ba-ba-ba, bum ♪ 273 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,278 -It's so silly. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 274 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,071 Oh, damn, who could that be? 275 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,615 -It's Phyllis! -Oh. 276 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,164 -Well, go on. Go and let her in. -Uh… 277 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,542 [TO TUNE OF "HEART AND SOUL"] ♪ Go away ♪ 278 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:37,668 ♪ Who's ever at the door ♪ 279 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,129 ♪ Go away ♪ 280 00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:40,840 ♪ And don't come back no more ♪ 281 00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:43,675 Frasier. You were supposed to be at a wake. 282 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:48,013 We left. Even the mourners were babbling about the miniseries. 283 00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:50,517 I'm sure you're in a rush to get home and watch the show. 284 00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:53,478 No, actually, everybody's heading over to the Kiwanis Club 285 00:14:53,562 --> 00:14:54,854 for a post-wake kegger. 286 00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:56,272 Could you please take Dad? 287 00:14:56,356 --> 00:14:58,606 -Me? Well, they're your god-family. -Please. 288 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,278 Oh, Dr. Crane. I thought you were Phyllis. 289 00:15:01,362 --> 00:15:02,447 Phyllis? 290 00:15:03,281 --> 00:15:05,574 Yeah. She's due any moment, so you'd better run along. 291 00:15:05,658 --> 00:15:08,328 I'll be leaving myself as soon as the roast is done. 292 00:15:12,124 --> 00:15:14,627 Daphne is cooking dinner 293 00:15:15,461 --> 00:15:17,463 for your date with a fictitious woman. 294 00:15:19,632 --> 00:15:22,732 Why not just set a place for the March Hare and the Mad Hatter? 295 00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:26,180 I didn't plan for this, but we are having the most perfect evening. 296 00:15:26,264 --> 00:15:28,808 I'm feeling my confidence return. I just need a few more minutes alone, 297 00:15:28,892 --> 00:15:31,018 -and I'll be able to tell her everything. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 298 00:15:31,102 --> 00:15:32,478 The longer you continue with this lie, 299 00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:34,273 the more likely it is to blow up in your face. 300 00:15:34,357 --> 00:15:35,941 Why are you always such a doomsayer? 301 00:15:36,025 --> 00:15:37,568 As long as I keep track of what I'm saying, 302 00:15:37,652 --> 00:15:39,552 nothing is going to blow up on anyone. 303 00:15:40,529 --> 00:15:41,489 Phyllis! 304 00:15:42,782 --> 00:15:43,741 Kaboom. 305 00:15:44,659 --> 00:15:47,412 Hello, Dr. Crane. Some of your mail wound up in my box. 306 00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:49,205 Oh, well, aren't you considerate. Um… 307 00:15:49,289 --> 00:15:52,125 -Hello. -Hello. I'm Frasier, Niles' brother. 308 00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:54,419 Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. 309 00:15:54,503 --> 00:15:56,953 -As a matter of fact… -DAPHNE: [WARMLY] Hello. 310 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,676 -You must be Phyllis. -PHYLLIS: Yes. 311 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:05,181 -Do I know you? -I'm Daphne. I'm just a friend. 312 00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:10,478 Make yourself comfortable. We were starting to worry about you. 313 00:16:10,562 --> 00:16:12,731 -Excuse me? -Can I get you a glass of wine? 314 00:16:12,815 --> 00:16:15,859 Well, all right, I guess. I really just came by to drop off… 315 00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:17,093 I'll be back in a snap. 316 00:16:18,153 --> 00:16:21,115 That woman seemed to think that you were expecting me. 317 00:16:21,199 --> 00:16:23,826 Yes. I've been making an effort to get to know my neighbors, 318 00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:25,661 and I guess you didn't get the invitation. 319 00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:28,956 No. It's just dumb luck that I happened to stop by tonight. 320 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,877 Here we are. Now, the appetizers are almost ready, 321 00:16:31,961 --> 00:16:34,004 and it won't be too much longer until the roast is done. 322 00:16:34,088 --> 00:16:35,464 I hope you're hungry. 323 00:16:36,132 --> 00:16:37,674 Oh, the invitation was for dinner? 324 00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:40,428 Yes, but don't you worry about it a bit. We'll do it another time. 325 00:16:40,512 --> 00:16:43,848 -Well, I'd love to stay. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 326 00:16:43,932 --> 00:16:44,766 NILES: What… 327 00:16:45,434 --> 00:16:48,311 -Hey. Frasier, you coming or not? -Well, in a minute, Dad. 328 00:16:48,395 --> 00:16:51,815 -Daph, what are you doing here? -Helping Dr. Crane with his dinner. 329 00:16:51,899 --> 00:16:54,693 Oh, hi. How you doing? Marty Crane. 330 00:16:54,777 --> 00:16:59,073 -Hi, I'm Phyllis Conrad. -Oh-ho-ho, you're Phyllis, huh? 331 00:16:59,991 --> 00:17:02,076 DAPHNE: Don't worry. We'll be going soon. 332 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,496 I know Dr. Crane's eager to have you all to himself. 333 00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:05,997 -Really? -Oh, yeah. 334 00:17:06,081 --> 00:17:08,792 -He's been going on about you all week. -Now, Dad… 335 00:17:08,876 --> 00:17:11,503 How pretty you are, how nice you dress… 336 00:17:11,587 --> 00:17:13,421 Dad, you don't wanna be late for your kegger. 337 00:17:13,505 --> 00:17:16,008 Look at him. I've embarrassed him. He's blushing. 338 00:17:16,092 --> 00:17:17,885 He's not the only one. 339 00:17:17,969 --> 00:17:21,097 Well, excuse me, Phyllis. Frasier, could I… 340 00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:22,307 -Oh. -Just… Ge… 341 00:17:24,392 --> 00:17:25,977 -You've gotta help me get rid of her. -Me? 342 00:17:26,061 --> 00:17:27,604 -Yes. -I've got my hands full with Dad. 343 00:17:27,688 --> 00:17:30,899 So you really never had any idea he had his eye on you? 344 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,485 Well, I caught him staring at me in the elevator this morning. 345 00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:35,864 -Oh, ho-ho. -Now I know why. 346 00:17:36,573 --> 00:17:39,617 Hey, Dr. Crane, would you give me a hand with the appetizers? 347 00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:40,702 Frasier? 348 00:17:40,786 --> 00:17:44,330 Dad, you know, I guess it's time we, uh, were going. 349 00:17:44,414 --> 00:17:46,207 Maybe you could just go press for the elevator, 350 00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:47,584 and I'll be right there in a minute. 351 00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:49,294 All right. Very nice meeting you, Phyllis. 352 00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:50,797 -Yes, bye. -Bye-bye. 353 00:17:53,925 --> 00:17:55,342 Well, I must say, 354 00:17:55,426 --> 00:17:59,305 your brother certainly kept his feelings to himself until tonight. 355 00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:02,810 Yes, well, he's always been the quiet type. 356 00:18:04,603 --> 00:18:09,191 Especially… since all the trouble with Heather. 357 00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:10,235 Heather? 358 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:12,611 Remember, the pie should be heated, 359 00:18:12,695 --> 00:18:15,865 and there's fresh whipped cream to put on the strawberries. 360 00:18:15,949 --> 00:18:18,399 Or anything else, should the night take that turn. 361 00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:23,415 -His wife was poisoned? -FRASIER: Don't worry. He stood trial. 362 00:18:23,499 --> 00:18:25,626 -They never proved a thing. -Crab puffs? 363 00:18:29,505 --> 00:18:31,799 No, thank you. 364 00:18:31,883 --> 00:18:35,720 I just remembered, there is someplace that I have to be. 365 00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:38,306 Uh, thank you very much for the wine. 366 00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:39,975 Oh, my God, I drank the wine. 367 00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:46,857 -Thank you. What did you tell her? -I'll explain later. 368 00:18:46,941 --> 00:18:48,150 Tell you what, though. 369 00:18:48,234 --> 00:18:51,234 Don't plan on running for the co-op board here any time soon. 370 00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:56,159 -Where'd Phyllis go? -She left. 371 00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:58,245 She said she wasn't feeling well. 372 00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:03,875 Oh. Hope you don't mind my saying so. You almost seem relieved that she's gone. 373 00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:07,505 Relieved? Well, Daphne, to tell you the truth, 374 00:19:08,423 --> 00:19:09,674 I am relieved. 375 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:14,136 -I knew it. This is all my fault. -Hmm? 376 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,014 It's as clear as day now. 377 00:19:16,098 --> 00:19:19,851 You're just not ready for a relationship, and there I was pushing you into it. 378 00:19:19,935 --> 00:19:20,769 Daphne… 379 00:19:20,853 --> 00:19:23,605 Even I could see how uncomfortable you were with Phyllis. 380 00:19:23,689 --> 00:19:27,289 She must have picked up on that too, and that's the real reason she left. 381 00:19:27,736 --> 00:19:30,613 -What was I thinking? -No, Daphne, this is not your fault. 382 00:19:30,697 --> 00:19:32,657 Yes, but I should've seen. 383 00:19:32,741 --> 00:19:35,284 You're on the rebound. You're still vulnerable. 384 00:19:35,368 --> 00:19:36,953 That's probably why you had so much trouble 385 00:19:37,037 --> 00:19:39,457 asking for a simple date in the first place. 386 00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:44,503 Yes, I… I suppose you're right. 387 00:19:44,587 --> 00:19:46,255 I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane. 388 00:19:47,131 --> 00:19:49,384 I guess you just need to take some more time. 389 00:19:50,302 --> 00:19:52,720 You know, if you rush things, you may end up ruining something 390 00:19:52,804 --> 00:19:54,514 that has a real chance. 391 00:19:55,432 --> 00:19:57,934 No smart woman would ever get involved with a man 392 00:19:58,018 --> 00:20:01,105 who's in the middle of a divorce anyway. I know I never would. 393 00:20:02,899 --> 00:20:03,733 Well… 394 00:20:05,276 --> 00:20:08,445 Thank you, Daphne. This has all been very helpful. 395 00:20:08,529 --> 00:20:11,074 And thank you for everything you did tonight, 396 00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:14,244 even if it didn't work out exactly as I'd hoped. 397 00:20:14,328 --> 00:20:16,747 Well, what are friends for? 398 00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:24,047 I suppose we should start clearing all this up. 399 00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:25,966 Actually… 400 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:28,176 Daphne… 401 00:20:29,844 --> 00:20:32,144 Would you like to stay and have dinner with me? 402 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,892 -You mean that? -Yes. 403 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,480 Well, yes, that would be lovely. 404 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:41,816 Wonderful. 405 00:20:42,984 --> 00:20:44,944 -May I pour you some wine? -Ooh, yes. 406 00:20:45,028 --> 00:20:46,321 -Oh. -[CHUCKLES] 407 00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:53,411 You know, I know it seems hopeless right now. 408 00:20:53,495 --> 00:20:55,998 But I have a feeling that before very long, 409 00:20:56,082 --> 00:20:58,042 you'll be sitting down to a nice romantic dinner 410 00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,669 with the woman of your dreams. 411 00:21:01,212 --> 00:21:03,006 I think you may just be right. 412 00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:05,425 Shall we? 413 00:21:10,305 --> 00:21:12,141 Oh, thank you. 414 00:21:23,278 --> 00:21:24,654 -Here's to us. -Ah. 415 00:21:27,490 --> 00:21:29,868 [ARIA PLAYING] 416 00:21:29,952 --> 00:21:31,203 That's very nice. 417 00:21:31,287 --> 00:21:33,289 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 418 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,820 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 419 00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:45,134 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 420 00:21:45,218 --> 00:21:46,303 Oh, my. 421 00:21:47,095 --> 00:21:49,577 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 422 00:21:49,661 --> 00:21:52,142 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 423 00:21:52,226 --> 00:21:54,269 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 424 00:21:54,353 --> 00:21:55,771 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 425 00:21:55,855 --> 00:21:59,108 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 426 00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:02,779 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 427 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,364 Good night, everybody!