1 00:00:02,237 --> 00:00:04,238 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:13,662 --> 00:00:18,415 Tricia, I am so very sorry. Have you been waiting long? 3 00:00:18,499 --> 00:00:20,792 Let's see. We were supposed to meet at noon 4 00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:22,377 and it's now quarter to 1:00. 5 00:00:22,461 --> 00:00:25,587 Well, I do apologize. It's just that the most extraordinary thing happened. 6 00:00:25,671 --> 00:00:28,130 At least I'll get a colorful anecdote out of this. 7 00:00:28,214 --> 00:00:29,048 What was it? 8 00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:30,216 My watch stopped. 9 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,217 I got to go. 10 00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:33,134 No, no, no, that really is extraordinary. 11 00:00:33,218 --> 00:00:36,804 It's a very fine Swiss timepiece. It only loses a minute per decade. 12 00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:39,682 You've had it for what, 450 years? 13 00:00:39,766 --> 00:00:41,933 I'm sorry, Frasier, I have an appointment at 1:00. 14 00:00:42,017 --> 00:00:44,559 No, no, no. Please, please. Let me have another chance. 15 00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:48,146 I so enjoyed meeting you last night. I'd love to get to know you better. 16 00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:51,148 Well, I suppose even Swiss watches sometimes stop. 17 00:00:51,232 --> 00:00:54,025 You'd be amazed how much fondue gets overcooked that way. 18 00:00:54,109 --> 00:00:56,027 [BOTH LAUGHING] 19 00:00:56,111 --> 00:00:59,738 How about lunch tomorrow? I know the maître d' at La Petite Bistro. 20 00:00:59,822 --> 00:01:01,922 He'll give us the best table in the house. 21 00:01:02,324 --> 00:01:03,241 Please? 22 00:01:03,325 --> 00:01:06,243 Well, okay. I'll meet you there at 1:00. 23 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,161 That's when the little hand is on the one… 24 00:01:08,245 --> 00:01:10,121 -Yes, yes, I know, I know. -Okay. 25 00:01:10,205 --> 00:01:11,873 -See you then. -Okay. 26 00:01:16,335 --> 00:01:17,710 -Frasier. -Oh, Niles. 27 00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:21,296 Thank God you have room. I just spent 10 stupefying minutes 28 00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:23,130 sharing a table with a taxidermist. 29 00:01:24,674 --> 00:01:27,384 He doesn't have to stuff his trophies. He can just bore them stiff. 30 00:01:27,468 --> 00:01:28,636 Oh, well… 31 00:01:29,762 --> 00:01:30,720 Who was that woman? 32 00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:33,904 A young lady I met during intermission at the opera last night. 33 00:01:34,182 --> 00:01:36,099 I swear, Niles, it was remarkable. 34 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,767 Our hands touched, there was a spark. 35 00:01:38,851 --> 00:01:42,771 After 10 minutes of conversation, I knew I had to know this young woman better. 36 00:01:42,855 --> 00:01:44,021 Ever experience that? 37 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:47,524 Actually, yes, I do know a thing or two about the spark of attraction. 38 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,442 -Yeah? -I… 39 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:51,736 Oh, excuse me. Can I have a non-fat cappuccino, please? 40 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,196 Well, what am I to deduce 41 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,156 -that you've recently gotten lucky? -[GIGGLES] 42 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,992 Yes, and here's the kicker. She lives in your building. 43 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:00,868 Five floors down. Allison Landis. 44 00:02:00,952 --> 00:02:04,454 You little sneak. I don't even know the woman. How did you two meet? 45 00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:07,165 We were just chatting on the elevator. I walked her to her car, 46 00:02:07,249 --> 00:02:09,374 where, it turned out, she'd locked her keys inside. 47 00:02:09,458 --> 00:02:11,084 My resourcefulness saved the day. 48 00:02:11,168 --> 00:02:12,960 Did you fish them out with a coat hanger? 49 00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:16,005 I called the Auto Club. Where would I find a coat hanger? 50 00:02:17,506 --> 00:02:20,133 Anyway, she invited me to join her for lunch. 51 00:02:20,217 --> 00:02:21,049 -We hit it off. -Mm. 52 00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:24,178 The next night, I took her to dinner, one thing led to another, 53 00:02:24,262 --> 00:02:27,180 and soon, there was no further need for words. 54 00:02:27,264 --> 00:02:29,347 Except for your frantically babbled thank-yous. 55 00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:30,683 Oh, well. 56 00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:33,476 I'm seeing her again tonight, so you'll understand 57 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,811 if I'm a bit drained tomorrow during our squash game. 58 00:02:35,895 --> 00:02:38,021 My lovemaking can get slightly athletic. 59 00:02:38,105 --> 00:02:40,190 That's more than can be said for your squash game. 60 00:02:40,274 --> 00:02:41,149 Thank you. 61 00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,274 It's funny. 62 00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:44,359 I've been away from the seduction scene so long, 63 00:02:44,443 --> 00:02:46,652 -I was worried I'd lost my technique. -Yes, Niles. 64 00:02:46,736 --> 00:02:48,404 Were those fears ever groundless. 65 00:02:48,488 --> 00:02:49,573 Mm-hm. 66 00:02:51,323 --> 00:02:52,741 You know, it's like French. 67 00:02:52,825 --> 00:02:54,742 You can go without speaking it for years, 68 00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:57,244 and then just a few hours on the old Boulevard d'Amour 69 00:02:57,328 --> 00:02:58,745 and you, uh… Where are you going? 70 00:02:58,829 --> 00:03:00,539 To sit with the taxidermist. 71 00:03:07,419 --> 00:03:09,837 I can't believe this has happened to me two days in a row. 72 00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:12,547 You had car trouble. It can happen to anyone. 73 00:03:12,631 --> 00:03:14,257 Maybe she's still at La Petite Bistro. 74 00:03:14,341 --> 00:03:15,716 -She isn't. -What? 75 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,676 If you're talking about someone named Tricia, 76 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,803 -she called to say she was leaving. -[GROANS] 77 00:03:19,887 --> 00:03:21,763 She also said you were right about the table. 78 00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:23,764 It was a beautiful table in a prime location, 79 00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:26,517 and that she wished you were laid out dead on top of it. 80 00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:27,518 Oh, God. 81 00:03:30,395 --> 00:03:32,438 Ah. It's her machine. 82 00:03:33,188 --> 00:03:35,065 Hello, Tricia, it's Frasier. 83 00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:38,776 Look, I'm terribly sorry, but it's just that… 84 00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,735 My car battery went dead at a light 85 00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,529 and I didn't have my cell phone with me. 86 00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:45,364 By the time I got a jump, I couldn't go directly to the restaurant 87 00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:47,157 because I was wearing these ridiculous shorts. 88 00:03:47,241 --> 00:03:49,492 I know how this sounds, but it's the truth. 89 00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:50,660 Just ask my brother. 90 00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:53,019 -They're ridiculous shorts. -Oh. 91 00:03:55,497 --> 00:03:58,374 Anyway, please, give me one more chance. 92 00:03:58,458 --> 00:04:01,960 I'll go anywhere, any time, just… 93 00:04:02,711 --> 00:04:05,421 Give me a call… please. 94 00:04:06,339 --> 00:04:08,632 -May I have the phone? -Hm? Yes, of course. 95 00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,050 God, I had such high hopes for this young woman. 96 00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:13,678 Now I've gone and blown it twice. 97 00:04:13,762 --> 00:04:15,762 -Whom are you calling? -Allison. 98 00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:17,746 -Oh. -It's been hours since we spoke. 99 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:21,893 [SEDUCTIVELY] Hello there. 100 00:04:24,186 --> 00:04:25,187 How're you feeling? 101 00:04:25,729 --> 00:04:26,603 Uh-huh. 102 00:04:26,687 --> 00:04:27,563 Me, too. 103 00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:31,190 Yeah, me too. 104 00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:33,485 Oh, for God's sake, take it in my bedroom. 105 00:04:35,694 --> 00:04:37,321 You're making the dog twitch. 106 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,490 Frasier, you'll be so excited when you hear what I planned for your birthday. 107 00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:43,783 Dad, please, I said I didn't want any fuss this year. 108 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,618 Well, get ready to change your mind, 109 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,161 'cause I scored tickets, Friday night, 110 00:04:48,245 --> 00:04:50,039 to the best show in town. 111 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,749 -"Chimps on Ice." -Yes. 112 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,334 Oh, my. 113 00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:58,670 Yeah. I know this doesn't sound like your cup of tea, but trust me. 114 00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:00,713 Duke saw it, and he busted a gut. 115 00:05:00,797 --> 00:05:02,423 -Well, Dad, I'm sure… -And mind you, 116 00:05:02,507 --> 00:05:04,508 he even saw it with the understudy. 117 00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:10,554 Dad, look, I really don't feel like going out on my birthday this year. 118 00:05:10,638 --> 00:05:12,805 -Are you sure? -Yes, I've made plans already. 119 00:05:12,889 --> 00:05:14,682 I was gonna stay home and watch television. 120 00:05:14,766 --> 00:05:17,475 The opera's mounting a new production of Così fan tutte. 121 00:05:17,559 --> 00:05:19,561 Oh. Well, no wonder, then. 122 00:05:20,562 --> 00:05:22,229 Okay, but you're missing a treat. 123 00:05:22,313 --> 00:05:23,606 Duke said at the finale, 124 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,982 the whole cast skates to the top of this ramp 125 00:05:26,066 --> 00:05:28,902 and then, splat, right into a tank of whipped cream. 126 00:05:29,485 --> 00:05:31,403 Bet they don't do that at your opera. 127 00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:33,863 No, and Mozart's still kicking himself. 128 00:05:33,947 --> 00:05:35,824 Yeah. Come on, boy. 129 00:05:38,742 --> 00:05:39,618 Frasier… 130 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,745 Are you familiar with the Safari Club? 131 00:05:42,829 --> 00:05:45,915 Of course I'm familiar with them. Their yearly expeditions are remarkable. 132 00:05:45,999 --> 00:05:48,082 They're more than remarkable. They're legend. 133 00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:50,125 They made camp at Mount Everest, 134 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:53,359 then had their servants climb it while they held a wine-tasting. 135 00:05:54,838 --> 00:05:56,172 So why are you telling me this? 136 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,090 Because Allison is a member. 137 00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:01,635 This Friday night, they're having a black tie reception at her place, 138 00:06:01,719 --> 00:06:03,510 -and we're invited. -That's incredible. 139 00:06:03,594 --> 00:06:06,055 Oh, my goodness. Oh! 140 00:06:06,139 --> 00:06:09,390 -Consider it your birthday present. -Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 141 00:06:09,474 --> 00:06:12,935 Oh, I told Dad I was gonna stay home. You mustn't tell him about this. 142 00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:14,603 Oh, don't worry. He'll never suspect. 143 00:06:14,687 --> 00:06:16,729 I told him I was gonna be away for the weekend. 144 00:06:16,813 --> 00:06:19,481 Great. Perfect. Wait a minute. You knew about this yesterday? 145 00:06:19,565 --> 00:06:21,775 Uh, no, but I knew about "Chimps on Ice." 146 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,573 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 147 00:06:30,907 --> 00:06:32,282 I am so looking forward to this. 148 00:06:32,366 --> 00:06:33,700 I understand one of the members 149 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,702 is going to show an old film he made 150 00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:39,164 of the rare and endangered species found only in the rain forest. 151 00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:41,247 -[DOORBELL RINGS] -Maris would've loved it. 152 00:06:41,331 --> 00:06:42,582 Oh? Why so? 153 00:06:42,666 --> 00:06:44,917 She had shoes made from almost all of them. 154 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:48,212 -Allison. -Niles. 155 00:06:48,296 --> 00:06:50,463 And this must be Frasier. 156 00:06:50,547 --> 00:06:51,965 -Hello. -Come in, both of you. 157 00:06:52,049 --> 00:06:54,049 There are lots of people I'd like you to meet. 158 00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:54,967 Ah. 159 00:06:57,011 --> 00:07:00,638 The bar is over there and the hors d'oeuvres are here. 160 00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:02,597 We have some fascinating delicacies, 161 00:07:02,681 --> 00:07:05,058 actually bagged by our own members. 162 00:07:05,142 --> 00:07:09,019 This is ostrich. That's wildebeest. And that's springbok. 163 00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:10,728 You know, I can never remember which. 164 00:07:10,812 --> 00:07:15,107 Is it "fall ahead, springbok" or vice versa? [LAUGHING] 165 00:07:15,858 --> 00:07:17,317 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 166 00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:18,317 Oh, good heavens. 167 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:21,278 -I forgot I had this on me. -Don't apologize. I do it myself. 168 00:07:21,362 --> 00:07:24,197 Even in the veldt, one must keep in touch with one's broker. 169 00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:25,448 Yes… 170 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,324 Here, you can have privacy in the study. 171 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:28,785 Thank you. Hello? 172 00:07:29,494 --> 00:07:31,911 -You look ravishing tonight. -Thank you. 173 00:07:31,995 --> 00:07:35,622 But, listen, I think you and I should be very discreet tonight. 174 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,665 Oh. Well… 175 00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:37,749 I'm a psychiatrist. 176 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,377 If I can't be discreet, then it don't rain in Tanganyika. 177 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,671 Good. After all, if in the near future, 178 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,673 you should happen to be up for a membership in our little club, 179 00:07:47,757 --> 00:07:50,759 I want to appear completely objective when I sing your praises. 180 00:07:50,843 --> 00:07:53,220 My ears are already burning. 181 00:07:55,971 --> 00:07:56,888 Frasier. 182 00:07:56,972 --> 00:07:59,349 We're being considered for membership. Allison as much as said it. 183 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:02,101 We must do everything to show them how enthusiastic we are. 184 00:08:02,185 --> 00:08:03,144 I have to leave. 185 00:08:03,812 --> 00:08:05,687 -What? -Niles. 186 00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:07,522 That was Tricia on the phone. 187 00:08:07,606 --> 00:08:09,440 She's going out of town tonight for a month. 188 00:08:09,524 --> 00:08:12,192 But if I pick her up at her place, we can join each other for a drink. 189 00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:14,277 But… Are you insane? 190 00:08:15,654 --> 00:08:17,070 This is the Safari Club. 191 00:08:17,154 --> 00:08:20,366 These are the people who introduced badminton to Devil's Island. 192 00:08:23,535 --> 00:08:27,185 Rumor has it they challenged the lepers of Molokai to a three-legged race. 193 00:08:27,538 --> 00:08:28,913 I don't care. 194 00:08:28,997 --> 00:08:30,748 It was kismet when I met this young woman. 195 00:08:30,832 --> 00:08:32,499 I am not giving up an opportunity to see her. 196 00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,876 But to leave two minutes after you've arrived? 197 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,360 -You're going to ruin both our chances. -I'll make a proper excuse. 198 00:08:39,463 --> 00:08:40,839 Excuse me, Allison. 199 00:08:40,923 --> 00:08:42,339 Yes, I'm terribly sorry. 200 00:08:42,423 --> 00:08:45,176 It seems I'm coming down with a touch of something. 201 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,427 -I'm going to have to leave. -You poor man. 202 00:08:47,511 --> 00:08:49,929 If you feel better, please do come back down. 203 00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:51,138 We'll be here all evening. 204 00:08:51,222 --> 00:08:54,850 Thank you, but I don't really see that there's much hope. 205 00:08:57,853 --> 00:09:00,103 Yes, I'm just stopping by my place to pick up my keys. 206 00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:01,897 I will see you in 10 minutes. 207 00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:04,566 And Tricia… I can't wait. 208 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:06,276 All right. Bye. 209 00:09:09,111 --> 00:09:11,571 Surprise! 210 00:09:18,118 --> 00:09:20,994 [CROWD LAUGHING] 211 00:09:21,078 --> 00:09:24,538 You didn't think we were gonna let you stay home alone on your birthday, did you? 212 00:09:24,622 --> 00:09:28,208 -Look at his face. He can't believe it. -No, I certainly can't. 213 00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:30,210 But why are you dressed like that? 214 00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:35,047 Well, I dress like this sometimes when I watch the opera on television. 215 00:09:36,798 --> 00:09:38,550 That's up there on the dork meter. 216 00:09:39,134 --> 00:09:41,009 Since I'm not going to be watching the opera, 217 00:09:41,093 --> 00:09:43,804 perhaps I could buy a new videotape, so I could record it. 218 00:09:43,888 --> 00:09:46,764 We're way ahead of you. Your father has the VCR set up. 219 00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:50,266 Let's get things started. Here you go. Happy birthday. 220 00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,435 Well, thank you, Bulldog. 221 00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:53,852 Thank you, all. I… 222 00:09:53,936 --> 00:09:56,772 Oh, well, David Copperfield. 223 00:09:56,856 --> 00:10:00,274 Dickens' classic tale of a young man making his way in the world. [CHUCKLES] 224 00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,359 I think we're talking about different movies here. 225 00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:03,610 Hmm? 226 00:10:03,694 --> 00:10:06,613 Hm. David Cop-A-Feel. Well… 227 00:10:08,489 --> 00:10:10,240 But you were right about the classic tail part. 228 00:10:10,324 --> 00:10:11,658 [LAUGHING] 229 00:10:11,742 --> 00:10:13,451 Hey, you need a brew? I'm headed that way. 230 00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:14,368 No, no, thanks. 231 00:10:14,452 --> 00:10:16,036 I'd love a cup of hot tea with lemon. 232 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,746 Hey, I'm fetching, not cooking. 233 00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:18,913 It's okay, Roz. 234 00:10:18,997 --> 00:10:21,297 There's a kettle of boiling water on the stove. 235 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,416 -Here you are. -Well, thank you, Daphne. 236 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,835 -Don't be mad at your father. -Uh… 237 00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:26,877 He just wanted to do something nice for your birthday, 238 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:29,547 after you turned thumbs down on the skating monkeys. 239 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,632 -Hey, great party, huh? -Yes. Thanks. 240 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,968 As long as we got enough ice. We got four bags, right? 241 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:37,386 -No, I got two. -Two? I told you to get four bags! 242 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,595 Oh, God, here we go. 243 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,430 Well, you never under-budget on the ice. You never know. 244 00:10:41,514 --> 00:10:44,182 You might get more a lot more rocks drinkers than you expected 245 00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:45,892 or ice-chewers… 246 00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:47,686 Dad, I can go get some more ice. 247 00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:49,103 We don't need any more ice. 248 00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:51,313 We've got plenty. There's a whole tub of it. 249 00:10:51,397 --> 00:10:52,356 Yes, well, then… 250 00:10:53,106 --> 00:10:54,732 Excuse me. I need to make a call. 251 00:10:54,816 --> 00:10:57,985 MARTIN: I just don't see why you couldn't get four bags. 252 00:11:01,696 --> 00:11:03,865 Tricia, Frasier. Look, I've been detained. 253 00:11:03,949 --> 00:11:06,825 Yes, I know that you really don't want to hear why, but… 254 00:11:07,576 --> 00:11:10,035 You know what? I think I can find a way to get out of here. 255 00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:11,913 Yes. I'll see you in a few minutes. 256 00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,833 Dad! Bad news. 257 00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:19,585 Seems your ice is melting awfully fast. 258 00:11:19,669 --> 00:11:22,044 -What? -Don't worry. I'll go get some more. 259 00:11:22,128 --> 00:11:25,131 -No, it's your party. I'll go. -But Roz, I want to go. 260 00:11:25,215 --> 00:11:26,965 -You just got here. -But it's my birthday. 261 00:11:27,049 --> 00:11:29,342 I can do whatever on my birthday. I wanna get some ice. 262 00:11:29,426 --> 00:11:32,094 MARTIN: I knew it! I warned her! It's practically gone! 263 00:11:32,178 --> 00:11:34,429 Don't worry, Dad, I'm on it! 264 00:11:35,013 --> 00:11:37,098 -I'll be glad to go… -Roz, I want to go! 265 00:11:37,182 --> 00:11:38,933 I know what kind Dad likes! 266 00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:45,813 FRASIER: No, no. No, don't stop on 14. Don't stop on 14. 267 00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:47,439 No, don't… No, no. 268 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:48,815 [FRASIER GROANS] 269 00:11:48,899 --> 00:11:50,400 Frasier. 270 00:11:50,484 --> 00:11:53,569 I'm delighted you're feeling better. You're just in time. 271 00:11:53,653 --> 00:11:56,863 We're about to start the film. Wait till you see it. 272 00:11:57,614 --> 00:12:00,283 Just grab a chair before all the good seats are gone. 273 00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:05,161 -What are you doing here? -Wishing I had taken the stairs. 274 00:12:05,245 --> 00:12:06,454 Watch it. 275 00:12:06,538 --> 00:12:08,413 If I wanted this martini shaken, 276 00:12:08,497 --> 00:12:10,666 I'd have asked the bartender to do it. 277 00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,627 Mustn't mind old Rhino. 278 00:12:14,711 --> 00:12:16,628 Always in a vile mood. 279 00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:17,545 Rhino? 280 00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,797 Karl Landis. Allison's husband. 281 00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:22,800 They call him Rhino because of his mean temper. 282 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,342 Husband. 283 00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,843 Allison's married? 284 00:12:25,927 --> 00:12:27,595 Not surprised people don't know. 285 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,512 Man's always on safari. 286 00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:30,889 Loves guns. 287 00:12:30,973 --> 00:12:32,973 Guns and women. No secret. 288 00:12:33,057 --> 00:12:34,851 Notorious for it. 289 00:12:35,435 --> 00:12:37,310 Cheats on her constantly. 290 00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:38,645 Mark my words. 291 00:12:38,729 --> 00:12:40,355 One of these days, she'll pay him back 292 00:12:40,439 --> 00:12:43,524 and then rub his bloodthirsty nose in it, yeah. 293 00:12:46,735 --> 00:12:49,444 Here's something interesting. I think I just swallowed my tongue. 294 00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:52,697 Niles, Niles, just be calm. Be calm. What's done is done. 295 00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:54,406 You didn't know. Now it's over. 296 00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:57,992 As long as you've both been discreet, no reason it should get back to Rhino. 297 00:12:58,076 --> 00:13:01,120 -I don't know what you're insinuating. -Well, don't lie. 298 00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:03,914 Everyone knows what goes on in that pop tent. 299 00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:06,207 Well, I can play at that game too. 300 00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:08,125 In fact, I already have, 301 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:10,461 and with somebody right here tonight. 302 00:13:11,253 --> 00:13:12,713 How do you like that? 303 00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:16,632 Frasier, I have to ask a small favor. I need you to create a distraction 304 00:13:16,716 --> 00:13:18,591 while I have a sex change and move to Europe. 305 00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:20,009 I'm sorry, Niles. 306 00:13:20,093 --> 00:13:23,595 I would love to stay and help, but I've gotta get out of here myself. 307 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:24,805 We're ready for the movie. 308 00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:27,765 -Mind helping me turn out the lights? -Splendid idea. 309 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:30,935 You're gonna want it nice and dark in here, aren't you? 310 00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:33,979 You should've told me you were married. I have to leave. 311 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,438 Don't be a fool. If he sees someone sneaking out of here, 312 00:13:36,522 --> 00:13:38,232 that's the first person he'll suspect. 313 00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:39,609 FRASIER: All set? 314 00:13:40,609 --> 00:13:42,986 And it's show time. 315 00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:46,738 NARRATOR: Here, under the leafy canopy of the rain forest, 316 00:13:46,822 --> 00:13:50,450 the sun never penetrates the gloom of the interior. 317 00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:52,575 An almost subterr… 318 00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:55,059 -What happened? -Did someone pull the plug out? 319 00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:58,247 Yep. Here it is. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 320 00:13:58,331 --> 00:14:00,332 All right, lights out. 321 00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:01,249 There you go. 322 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,377 NARRATOR: This hidden kingdom, deep in the underbrush, 323 00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:06,211 and all manner of creature… 324 00:14:06,295 --> 00:14:07,379 RHINO: What was that? 325 00:14:07,463 --> 00:14:10,715 Well, someone certainly snuck out of here in a hurry. 326 00:14:14,009 --> 00:14:16,219 I know what you're all thinking. 327 00:14:16,303 --> 00:14:20,681 Now that Allison has seen fit to air our dirty laundry in public, 328 00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,181 you assume that was her lover. 329 00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:23,308 [GASPS] 330 00:14:23,392 --> 00:14:24,434 But I know it wasn't. 331 00:14:24,518 --> 00:14:25,394 [GASPS] 332 00:14:27,353 --> 00:14:28,228 How? 333 00:14:28,312 --> 00:14:30,897 Because I can sense that he's still here. 334 00:14:31,606 --> 00:14:35,400 In the jungle, I learned to smell fear, 335 00:14:35,484 --> 00:14:37,736 and I smell it now. 336 00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:40,029 So… 337 00:14:41,322 --> 00:14:44,532 Let's see whether the swine has guts to stand up and admit it 338 00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:46,034 before I expose him. 339 00:14:47,284 --> 00:14:48,411 What about it, coward? 340 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:50,538 Going to stand up? 341 00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,883 RHINO: That many. 342 00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,718 My God, woman, you're as bad as I am. 343 00:15:11,137 --> 00:15:13,638 Come on, you bastards, join me in a drink. Ha, ha. 344 00:15:14,431 --> 00:15:16,432 [CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY] 345 00:15:19,893 --> 00:15:20,810 Hello. 346 00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:22,936 Hi, Dr. Crane. 347 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,063 We're all just on our way up to your place. 348 00:15:25,147 --> 00:15:26,939 Noel. [CHUCKLES] So you are. 349 00:15:27,023 --> 00:15:29,483 Hi, Tom. Janet. Bill. 350 00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:32,361 I was just heading down. We're out of ice. 351 00:15:32,445 --> 00:15:33,694 Oh, not anymore. 352 00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:36,197 I brought a 20-pound bag. 353 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:40,784 Just call me Noel Shempsky, party saver. 354 00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:44,036 [STAMMERING] 355 00:15:45,454 --> 00:15:46,662 Here's the ice. 356 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,873 Here, Noel, put that in the kitchen. Come on in, everybody. 357 00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:52,292 You know, Dad, I've done the silliest thing. 358 00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:54,543 I went out without my wallet. They gave me the ice, 359 00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:56,170 but I have to go back and pay them. 360 00:15:56,254 --> 00:15:58,922 At least play the last round of charades with us. 361 00:15:59,006 --> 00:16:01,466 -I should be getting back there. -But you love sha-rods. 362 00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:02,758 -Charades. -Shut up. 363 00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:05,928 Anyway, it's not going to kill them to wait a few minutes for their money. 364 00:16:06,012 --> 00:16:08,346 Be on our team. We really suck at this game. 365 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:11,515 Noel, you're on our team. The category is famous play titles. 366 00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:13,725 I'm a bear at charades. 367 00:16:13,809 --> 00:16:14,934 You ready? 368 00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:16,519 -Yeah. -All right, go. 369 00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:17,437 Okay. 370 00:16:18,062 --> 00:16:20,189 ALL: Three words. First word. 371 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,065 -Morning. -Mourning Becomes Electra. 372 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,066 -Yes! -BULLDOG: What?! 373 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,151 Four seconds? 374 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,443 [ALL CHEERING] 375 00:16:27,527 --> 00:16:30,696 Well done, Roz. Nice playing with you. I'm out of here. Bye-bye. 376 00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:32,906 Hey, wait a second. You have to take a turn. 377 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:35,699 -No, I… Well, really? -You have 30 seconds to prepare. 378 00:16:35,783 --> 00:16:39,454 Well, all right. Maybe I'll just… prepare in the kitchen. 379 00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:41,497 Excuse me. 380 00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:48,501 Tricia. You're going to laugh when you hear this. 381 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:49,961 Hello? Tricia? 382 00:16:52,172 --> 00:16:53,005 Fine. 383 00:16:54,757 --> 00:16:55,590 Ha, ha. 384 00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:57,717 The Iceman Cometh. 385 00:16:59,427 --> 00:17:01,511 -All right. -ROZ: Ready? 386 00:17:01,595 --> 00:17:02,721 Okay, go. 387 00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:05,889 -Three words. Three words. -First word. First word. 388 00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:08,142 MARTIN: A small word. Okay. 389 00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:11,269 Uh, on, in, of, to… 390 00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:13,645 Be, is, it, I, you, me… 391 00:17:13,729 --> 00:17:16,523 MARTIN: They, them, us, we, me, she… 392 00:17:16,607 --> 00:17:18,315 Forget about it. 393 00:17:18,399 --> 00:17:20,609 Second word. Two syllables. 394 00:17:20,693 --> 00:17:21,860 First syllable. 395 00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:25,488 Cold, cold, chilly, freezing, winter! 396 00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:28,282 MARTIN: Uh, snow, sleet, hail, frost… 397 00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:29,700 Frostbite. Gangrene! 398 00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:31,367 Gangrene? 399 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,452 No talking allowed. 400 00:17:32,536 --> 00:17:33,537 Aah! 401 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,621 Second syllable. 402 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:38,789 Shrink! 403 00:17:38,873 --> 00:17:40,291 Doctor. Dork! 404 00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:42,209 MARTIN: Person. 405 00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:44,127 Guy, male, man. 406 00:17:44,211 --> 00:17:45,670 Man. Man. Man. 407 00:17:45,754 --> 00:17:47,004 Let's see. Icy cold man. 408 00:17:47,088 --> 00:17:48,297 Ice, man. 409 00:17:48,381 --> 00:17:49,673 -Got it! -Thank you. 410 00:17:49,757 --> 00:17:51,966 -Frosty the Snowman! -Yes! 411 00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:53,342 No, you jackass! 412 00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:54,969 The Iceman Cometh! 413 00:17:55,053 --> 00:17:56,553 Disqualified. 414 00:17:56,637 --> 00:18:00,097 You two are the worst charades players I've ever seen in my life. 415 00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:02,183 My God, those skating chimps could… 416 00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,810 Well, you did your best. We'll get them next time. Off I go. 417 00:18:05,894 --> 00:18:07,103 No, wait, wait, Frasier. 418 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:10,022 We still have one little consolation prize for you. 419 00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:15,485 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 420 00:18:15,569 --> 00:18:21,447 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 421 00:18:21,531 --> 00:18:23,199 Look, he's crying. 422 00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:29,745 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Frasier ♪ 423 00:18:29,829 --> 00:18:36,829 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 424 00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:49,636 Made it. 425 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,053 Boy, are you wrong. 426 00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:52,804 -Oh, Tricia, please. -Save it, Frasier. 427 00:18:52,888 --> 00:18:54,805 I have a plane leaving for Spokane in an hour. 428 00:18:54,889 --> 00:18:58,059 My cab is on the way, so why don't you just be on your way too. 429 00:18:59,059 --> 00:19:02,645 Would it make any difference if I told you I had to sneak out of a birthday party 430 00:19:02,729 --> 00:19:05,189 being given for me by my own father just to come here? 431 00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:07,565 Yeah, right. It's your birthday. 432 00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:11,068 Look, if you don't believe me, here, just see for yourself. 433 00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:14,655 In fact, it's turning out to be the worst birthday party I've had since I was 8 434 00:19:14,739 --> 00:19:16,864 when I pinned the tail on Sally Annunciato. 435 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,748 She shoved a cupcake down my shorts. 436 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,368 Wow. 437 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,652 You really blew off your own birthday party just to come meet me. 438 00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:27,988 I would have done almost anything to get to know you better. 439 00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:31,875 Well, that's very sweet, Frasier, and I wish I had more time, 440 00:19:31,959 --> 00:19:33,919 but I have an 8 a.m. appointment in Spokane, 441 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,303 and I can't miss my plane. 442 00:19:36,504 --> 00:19:37,880 I could drive you. 443 00:19:37,964 --> 00:19:40,507 But it's only 20 minutes to the airport. It's hardly worth it. 444 00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:42,759 I wasn't talking about the airport. 445 00:19:42,843 --> 00:19:43,843 What? 446 00:19:43,927 --> 00:19:46,136 I can have you in Spokane in six hours. 447 00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,138 That gives us enough time to get acquainted. 448 00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,973 Oh, no. I can't ask you to do that. 449 00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:51,474 You didn't ask. I offered. 450 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,100 Look, I want to do it. Here. 451 00:19:54,518 --> 00:19:56,728 That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. 452 00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:59,272 Well, the way I see it, one of two things can happen. 453 00:19:59,356 --> 00:20:02,023 Either we'll discover that we've foolishly built each other up 454 00:20:02,107 --> 00:20:03,108 in our own imaginations 455 00:20:03,192 --> 00:20:05,735 because we had such trouble getting together, or… 456 00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:10,086 This could end up being a story we tell our grandchildren. 457 00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:15,117 Personally, I can't wait to find out which. 458 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,078 Me either. 459 00:20:21,456 --> 00:20:22,915 Oh, boy. 460 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:27,752 Well… 461 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,671 Off we go. 462 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,591 [SIGHS] 463 00:20:38,594 --> 00:20:41,012 I thought I'd find us a little background music. 464 00:20:41,096 --> 00:20:42,221 Good idea. 465 00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:45,515 -Looking for some more opera? -Heck, no. 466 00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,558 The one the other night was my first and last. 467 00:20:47,642 --> 00:20:49,894 I was dragged to it by one of my converts. 468 00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:52,979 There we go. 469 00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:54,523 [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING] 470 00:20:55,273 --> 00:20:57,108 -Converts, you say? -Mm-hm. 471 00:20:57,650 --> 00:20:59,192 I'm one of the Truth-Bringers. 472 00:20:59,276 --> 00:21:01,402 I was ordained by Brother Carmichael himself. 473 00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:02,820 The evangelist? 474 00:21:02,904 --> 00:21:05,698 I go door-to-door, spreading his word. 475 00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,702 Listen, do you mind my asking something? 476 00:21:11,411 --> 00:21:12,703 Have you heard the truth? 477 00:21:16,539 --> 00:21:18,290 Something tells me I'm about to. 478 00:21:25,879 --> 00:21:28,548 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 479 00:21:28,632 --> 00:21:31,062 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 480 00:21:31,146 --> 00:21:33,259 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 481 00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:35,095 Quite stylish. 482 00:21:35,721 --> 00:21:38,305 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 483 00:21:38,389 --> 00:21:40,098 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 484 00:21:40,182 --> 00:21:42,767 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 485 00:21:42,851 --> 00:21:44,352 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 486 00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:48,105 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 487 00:21:49,690 --> 00:21:51,441 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 488 00:21:52,442 --> 00:21:55,276 Scrambled eggs all over my face. 489 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,695 What is a boy to do? 490 00:21:59,363 --> 00:22:00,781 Thank you!