1
00:00:02,237 --> 00:00:04,238
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:13,662 --> 00:00:18,415
Tricia, I am so very sorry.
Have you been waiting long?
3
00:00:18,499 --> 00:00:20,792
Let's see.
We were supposed to meet at noon
4
00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:22,377
and it's now quarter to 1:00.
5
00:00:22,461 --> 00:00:25,587
Well, I do apologize. It's just that
the most extraordinary thing happened.
6
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At least I'll get a colorful
anecdote out of this.
7
00:00:28,214 --> 00:00:29,048
What was it?
8
00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:30,216
My watch stopped.
9
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I got to go.
10
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:33,134
No, no, no, that really is extraordinary.
11
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It's a very fine Swiss timepiece.
It only loses a minute per decade.
12
00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:39,682
You've had it for what, 450 years?
13
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I'm sorry, Frasier, I have
an appointment at 1:00.
14
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No, no, no. Please, please.
Let me have another chance.
15
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I so enjoyed meeting you last night.
I'd love to get to know you better.
16
00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:51,148
Well, I suppose even Swiss
watches sometimes stop.
17
00:00:51,232 --> 00:00:54,025
You'd be amazed how much
fondue gets overcooked that way.
18
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
19
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How about lunch tomorrow?
I know the maître d' at La Petite Bistro.
20
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He'll give us the best table in the house.
21
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Please?
22
00:01:03,325 --> 00:01:06,243
Well, okay. I'll meet you there at 1:00.
23
00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,161
That's when the little hand is on the one…
24
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-Yes, yes, I know, I know.
-Okay.
25
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-See you then.
-Okay.
26
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-Frasier.
-Oh, Niles.
27
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Thank God you have room.
I just spent 10 stupefying minutes
28
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sharing a table with a taxidermist.
29
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He doesn't have to stuff his trophies.
He can just bore them stiff.
30
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Oh, well…
31
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Who was that woman?
32
00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:33,904
A young lady I met during
intermission at the opera last night.
33
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I swear, Niles, it was remarkable.
34
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Our hands touched, there was a spark.
35
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After 10 minutes of conversation, I knew
I had to know this young woman better.
36
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Ever experience that?
37
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:47,524
Actually, yes, I do know a thing
or two about the spark of attraction.
38
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-Yeah?
-I…
39
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:51,736
Oh, excuse me.
Can I have a non-fat cappuccino, please?
40
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,196
Well, what am I to deduce
41
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,156
-that you've recently gotten lucky?
-[GIGGLES]
42
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Yes, and here's the kicker.
She lives in your building.
43
00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:00,868
Five floors down. Allison Landis.
44
00:02:00,952 --> 00:02:04,454
You little sneak. I don't even know
the woman. How did you two meet?
45
00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:07,165
We were just chatting on the elevator.
I walked her to her car,
46
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where, it turned out, she'd
locked her keys inside.
47
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My resourcefulness saved the day.
48
00:02:11,168 --> 00:02:12,960
Did you fish them out with a coat hanger?
49
00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:16,005
I called the Auto Club.
Where would I find a coat hanger?
50
00:02:17,506 --> 00:02:20,133
Anyway, she invited
me to join her for lunch.
51
00:02:20,217 --> 00:02:21,049
-We hit it off.
-Mm.
52
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The next night, I took her to
dinner, one thing led to another,
53
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and soon, there was no
further need for words.
54
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Except for your frantically
babbled thank-yous.
55
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:30,683
Oh, well.
56
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:33,476
I'm seeing her again
tonight, so you'll understand
57
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if I'm a bit drained tomorrow
during our squash game.
58
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My lovemaking can get slightly athletic.
59
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That's more than can be
said for your squash game.
60
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Thank you.
61
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,274
It's funny.
62
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I've been away from the
seduction scene so long,
63
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-I was worried I'd lost my technique.
-Yes, Niles.
64
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Were those fears ever groundless.
65
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Mm-hm.
66
00:02:51,323 --> 00:02:52,741
You know, it's like French.
67
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You can go without speaking it for years,
68
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and then just a few hours
on the old Boulevard d'Amour
69
00:02:57,328 --> 00:02:58,745
and you, uh… Where are you going?
70
00:02:58,829 --> 00:03:00,539
To sit with the taxidermist.
71
00:03:07,419 --> 00:03:09,837
I can't believe this has
happened to me two days in a row.
72
00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:12,547
You had car trouble.
It can happen to anyone.
73
00:03:12,631 --> 00:03:14,257
Maybe she's still at La Petite Bistro.
74
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-She isn't.
-What?
75
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,676
If you're talking about
someone named Tricia,
76
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,803
-she called to say she was leaving.
-[GROANS]
77
00:03:19,887 --> 00:03:21,763
She also said you were
right about the table.
78
00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:23,764
It was a beautiful
table in a prime location,
79
00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:26,517
and that she wished you
were laid out dead on top of it.
80
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Oh, God.
81
00:03:30,395 --> 00:03:32,438
Ah. It's her machine.
82
00:03:33,188 --> 00:03:35,065
Hello, Tricia, it's Frasier.
83
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Look, I'm terribly
sorry, but it's just that…
84
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My car battery went dead at a light
85
00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,529
and I didn't have my cell phone with me.
86
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:45,364
By the time I got a jump, I
couldn't go directly to the restaurant
87
00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:47,157
because I was wearing
these ridiculous shorts.
88
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I know how this
sounds, but it's the truth.
89
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Just ask my brother.
90
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-They're ridiculous shorts.
-Oh.
91
00:03:55,497 --> 00:03:58,374
Anyway, please, give me one more chance.
92
00:03:58,458 --> 00:04:01,960
I'll go anywhere, any time, just…
93
00:04:02,711 --> 00:04:05,421
Give me a call… please.
94
00:04:06,339 --> 00:04:08,632
-May I have the phone?
-Hm? Yes, of course.
95
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,050
God, I had such high
hopes for this young woman.
96
00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:13,678
Now I've gone and blown it twice.
97
00:04:13,762 --> 00:04:15,762
-Whom are you calling?
-Allison.
98
00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:17,746
-Oh.
-It's been hours since we spoke.
99
00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:21,893
[SEDUCTIVELY] Hello there.
100
00:04:24,186 --> 00:04:25,187
How're you feeling?
101
00:04:25,729 --> 00:04:26,603
Uh-huh.
102
00:04:26,687 --> 00:04:27,563
Me, too.
103
00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:31,190
Yeah, me too.
104
00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:33,485
Oh, for God's sake, take it in my bedroom.
105
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You're making the dog twitch.
106
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Frasier, you'll be so excited when you
hear what I planned for your birthday.
107
00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:43,783
Dad, please, I said I didn't
want any fuss this year.
108
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,618
Well, get ready to change your mind,
109
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'cause I scored tickets, Friday night,
110
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to the best show in town.
111
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-"Chimps on Ice."
-Yes.
112
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,334
Oh, my.
113
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Yeah. I know this doesn't sound
like your cup of tea, but trust me.
114
00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:00,713
Duke saw it, and he busted a gut.
115
00:05:00,797 --> 00:05:02,423
-Well, Dad, I'm sure…
-And mind you,
116
00:05:02,507 --> 00:05:04,508
he even saw it with the understudy.
117
00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:10,554
Dad, look, I really don't feel like
going out on my birthday this year.
118
00:05:10,638 --> 00:05:12,805
-Are you sure?
-Yes, I've made plans already.
119
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I was gonna stay home
and watch television.
120
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The opera's mounting a new
production of Così fan tutte.
121
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Oh. Well, no wonder, then.
122
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Okay, but you're missing a treat.
123
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Duke said at the finale,
124
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the whole cast skates
to the top of this ramp
125
00:05:26,066 --> 00:05:28,902
and then, splat, right into
a tank of whipped cream.
126
00:05:29,485 --> 00:05:31,403
Bet they don't do that at your opera.
127
00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:33,863
No, and Mozart's still kicking himself.
128
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Yeah. Come on, boy.
129
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Frasier…
130
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,745
Are you familiar with the Safari Club?
131
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Of course I'm familiar with them.
Their yearly expeditions are remarkable.
132
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They're more than remarkable.
They're legend.
133
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:50,125
They made camp at Mount Everest,
134
00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:53,359
then had their servants climb
it while they held a wine-tasting.
135
00:05:54,838 --> 00:05:56,172
So why are you telling me this?
136
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,090
Because Allison is a member.
137
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This Friday night, they're having
a black tie reception at her place,
138
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-and we're invited.
-That's incredible.
139
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Oh, my goodness. Oh!
140
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-Consider it your birthday present.
-Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.
141
00:06:09,474 --> 00:06:12,935
Oh, I told Dad I was gonna stay home.
You mustn't tell him about this.
142
00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:14,603
Oh, don't worry. He'll never suspect.
143
00:06:14,687 --> 00:06:16,729
I told him I was gonna
be away for the weekend.
144
00:06:16,813 --> 00:06:19,481
Great. Perfect. Wait a minute.
You knew about this yesterday?
145
00:06:19,565 --> 00:06:21,775
Uh, no, but I knew about "Chimps on Ice."
146
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,573
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
147
00:06:30,907 --> 00:06:32,282
I am so looking forward to this.
148
00:06:32,366 --> 00:06:33,700
I understand one of the members
149
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,702
is going to show an old film he made
150
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:39,164
of the rare and endangered
species found only in the rain forest.
151
00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:41,247
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Maris would've loved it.
152
00:06:41,331 --> 00:06:42,582
Oh? Why so?
153
00:06:42,666 --> 00:06:44,917
She had shoes made
from almost all of them.
154
00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:48,212
-Allison.
-Niles.
155
00:06:48,296 --> 00:06:50,463
And this must be Frasier.
156
00:06:50,547 --> 00:06:51,965
-Hello.
-Come in, both of you.
157
00:06:52,049 --> 00:06:54,049
There are lots of people
I'd like you to meet.
158
00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:54,967
Ah.
159
00:06:57,011 --> 00:07:00,638
The bar is over there and
the hors d'oeuvres are here.
160
00:07:00,722 --> 00:07:02,597
We have some fascinating delicacies,
161
00:07:02,681 --> 00:07:05,058
actually bagged by our own members.
162
00:07:05,142 --> 00:07:09,019
This is ostrich. That's wildebeest.
And that's springbok.
163
00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:10,728
You know, I can never remember which.
164
00:07:10,812 --> 00:07:15,107
Is it "fall ahead, springbok"
or vice versa? [LAUGHING]
165
00:07:15,858 --> 00:07:17,317
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
166
00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:18,317
Oh, good heavens.
167
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:21,278
-I forgot I had this on me.
-Don't apologize. I do it myself.
168
00:07:21,362 --> 00:07:24,197
Even in the veldt, one must
keep in touch with one's broker.
169
00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:25,448
Yes…
170
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,324
Here, you can have privacy in the study.
171
00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:28,785
Thank you. Hello?
172
00:07:29,494 --> 00:07:31,911
-You look ravishing tonight.
-Thank you.
173
00:07:31,995 --> 00:07:35,622
But, listen, I think you and I
should be very discreet tonight.
174
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,665
Oh. Well…
175
00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:37,749
I'm a psychiatrist.
176
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,377
If I can't be discreet, then
it don't rain in Tanganyika.
177
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,671
Good. After all, if in the near future,
178
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,673
you should happen to be up
for a membership in our little club,
179
00:07:47,757 --> 00:07:50,759
I want to appear completely
objective when I sing your praises.
180
00:07:50,843 --> 00:07:53,220
My ears are already burning.
181
00:07:55,971 --> 00:07:56,888
Frasier.
182
00:07:56,972 --> 00:07:59,349
We're being considered for membership.
Allison as much as said it.
183
00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:02,101
We must do everything to show
them how enthusiastic we are.
184
00:08:02,185 --> 00:08:03,144
I have to leave.
185
00:08:03,812 --> 00:08:05,687
-What?
-Niles.
186
00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:07,522
That was Tricia on the phone.
187
00:08:07,606 --> 00:08:09,440
She's going out of
town tonight for a month.
188
00:08:09,524 --> 00:08:12,192
But if I pick her up at her place,
we can join each other for a drink.
189
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:14,277
But… Are you insane?
190
00:08:15,654 --> 00:08:17,070
This is the Safari Club.
191
00:08:17,154 --> 00:08:20,366
These are the people who
introduced badminton to Devil's Island.
192
00:08:23,535 --> 00:08:27,185
Rumor has it they challenged the
lepers of Molokai to a three-legged race.
193
00:08:27,538 --> 00:08:28,913
I don't care.
194
00:08:28,997 --> 00:08:30,748
It was kismet when I met this young woman.
195
00:08:30,832 --> 00:08:32,499
I am not giving up an
opportunity to see her.
196
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,876
But to leave two minutes
after you've arrived?
197
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,360
-You're going to ruin both our chances.
-I'll make a proper excuse.
198
00:08:39,463 --> 00:08:40,839
Excuse me, Allison.
199
00:08:40,923 --> 00:08:42,339
Yes, I'm terribly sorry.
200
00:08:42,423 --> 00:08:45,176
It seems I'm coming down
with a touch of something.
201
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,427
-I'm going to have to leave.
-You poor man.
202
00:08:47,511 --> 00:08:49,929
If you feel better, please
do come back down.
203
00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:51,138
We'll be here all evening.
204
00:08:51,222 --> 00:08:54,850
Thank you, but I don't really
see that there's much hope.
205
00:08:57,853 --> 00:09:00,103
Yes, I'm just stopping by
my place to pick up my keys.
206
00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:01,897
I will see you in 10 minutes.
207
00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:04,566
And Tricia… I can't wait.
208
00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:06,276
All right. Bye.
209
00:09:09,111 --> 00:09:11,571
Surprise!
210
00:09:18,118 --> 00:09:20,994
[CROWD LAUGHING]
211
00:09:21,078 --> 00:09:24,538
You didn't think we were gonna let you
stay home alone on your birthday, did you?
212
00:09:24,622 --> 00:09:28,208
-Look at his face. He can't believe it.
-No, I certainly can't.
213
00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:30,210
But why are you dressed like that?
214
00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:35,047
Well, I dress like this sometimes
when I watch the opera on television.
215
00:09:36,798 --> 00:09:38,550
That's up there on the dork meter.
216
00:09:39,134 --> 00:09:41,009
Since I'm not going to
be watching the opera,
217
00:09:41,093 --> 00:09:43,804
perhaps I could buy a new
videotape, so I could record it.
218
00:09:43,888 --> 00:09:46,764
We're way ahead of you.
Your father has the VCR set up.
219
00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:50,266
Let's get things started.
Here you go. Happy birthday.
220
00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,435
Well, thank you, Bulldog.
221
00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:53,852
Thank you, all. I…
222
00:09:53,936 --> 00:09:56,772
Oh, well, David Copperfield.
223
00:09:56,856 --> 00:10:00,274
Dickens' classic tale of a young man
making his way in the world. [CHUCKLES]
224
00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,359
I think we're talking about
different movies here.
225
00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:03,610
Hmm?
226
00:10:03,694 --> 00:10:06,613
Hm. David Cop-A-Feel. Well…
227
00:10:08,489 --> 00:10:10,240
But you were right
about the classic tail part.
228
00:10:10,324 --> 00:10:11,658
[LAUGHING]
229
00:10:11,742 --> 00:10:13,451
Hey, you need a brew? I'm headed that way.
230
00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:14,368
No, no, thanks.
231
00:10:14,452 --> 00:10:16,036
I'd love a cup of hot tea with lemon.
232
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,746
Hey, I'm fetching, not cooking.
233
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:18,913
It's okay, Roz.
234
00:10:18,997 --> 00:10:21,297
There's a kettle of
boiling water on the stove.
235
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,416
-Here you are.
-Well, thank you, Daphne.
236
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,835
-Don't be mad at your father.
-Uh…
237
00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:26,877
He just wanted to do
something nice for your birthday,
238
00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:29,547
after you turned thumbs
down on the skating monkeys.
239
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,632
-Hey, great party, huh?
-Yes. Thanks.
240
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,968
As long as we got enough ice.
We got four bags, right?
241
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:37,386
-No, I got two.
-Two? I told you to get four bags!
242
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,595
Oh, God, here we go.
243
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,430
Well, you never under-budget on the ice.
You never know.
244
00:10:41,514 --> 00:10:44,182
You might get more a lot more
rocks drinkers than you expected
245
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:45,892
or ice-chewers…
246
00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:47,686
Dad, I can go get some more ice.
247
00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:49,103
We don't need any more ice.
248
00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:51,313
We've got plenty.
There's a whole tub of it.
249
00:10:51,397 --> 00:10:52,356
Yes, well, then…
250
00:10:53,106 --> 00:10:54,732
Excuse me. I need to make a call.
251
00:10:54,816 --> 00:10:57,985
MARTIN: I just don't see
why you couldn't get four bags.
252
00:11:01,696 --> 00:11:03,865
Tricia, Frasier. Look, I've been detained.
253
00:11:03,949 --> 00:11:06,825
Yes, I know that you really
don't want to hear why, but…
254
00:11:07,576 --> 00:11:10,035
You know what? I think I can
find a way to get out of here.
255
00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:11,913
Yes. I'll see you in a few minutes.
256
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,833
Dad! Bad news.
257
00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:19,585
Seems your ice is melting awfully fast.
258
00:11:19,669 --> 00:11:22,044
-What?
-Don't worry. I'll go get some more.
259
00:11:22,128 --> 00:11:25,131
-No, it's your party. I'll go.
-But Roz, I want to go.
260
00:11:25,215 --> 00:11:26,965
-You just got here.
-But it's my birthday.
261
00:11:27,049 --> 00:11:29,342
I can do whatever on my birthday.
I wanna get some ice.
262
00:11:29,426 --> 00:11:32,094
MARTIN: I knew it! I warned her!
It's practically gone!
263
00:11:32,178 --> 00:11:34,429
Don't worry, Dad, I'm on it!
264
00:11:35,013 --> 00:11:37,098
-I'll be glad to go…
-Roz, I want to go!
265
00:11:37,182 --> 00:11:38,933
I know what kind Dad likes!
266
00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:45,813
FRASIER: No, no.
No, don't stop on 14. Don't stop on 14.
267
00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:47,439
No, don't… No, no.
268
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:48,815
[FRASIER GROANS]
269
00:11:48,899 --> 00:11:50,400
Frasier.
270
00:11:50,484 --> 00:11:53,569
I'm delighted you're feeling better.
You're just in time.
271
00:11:53,653 --> 00:11:56,863
We're about to start the film.
Wait till you see it.
272
00:11:57,614 --> 00:12:00,283
Just grab a chair before
all the good seats are gone.
273
00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:05,161
-What are you doing here?
-Wishing I had taken the stairs.
274
00:12:05,245 --> 00:12:06,454
Watch it.
275
00:12:06,538 --> 00:12:08,413
If I wanted this martini shaken,
276
00:12:08,497 --> 00:12:10,666
I'd have asked the bartender to do it.
277
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,627
Mustn't mind old Rhino.
278
00:12:14,711 --> 00:12:16,628
Always in a vile mood.
279
00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:17,545
Rhino?
280
00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,797
Karl Landis. Allison's husband.
281
00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:22,800
They call him Rhino
because of his mean temper.
282
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,342
Husband.
283
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,843
Allison's married?
284
00:12:25,927 --> 00:12:27,595
Not surprised people don't know.
285
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,512
Man's always on safari.
286
00:12:29,596 --> 00:12:30,889
Loves guns.
287
00:12:30,973 --> 00:12:32,973
Guns and women. No secret.
288
00:12:33,057 --> 00:12:34,851
Notorious for it.
289
00:12:35,435 --> 00:12:37,310
Cheats on her constantly.
290
00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:38,645
Mark my words.
291
00:12:38,729 --> 00:12:40,355
One of these days, she'll pay him back
292
00:12:40,439 --> 00:12:43,524
and then rub his
bloodthirsty nose in it, yeah.
293
00:12:46,735 --> 00:12:49,444
Here's something interesting.
I think I just swallowed my tongue.
294
00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:52,697
Niles, Niles, just be calm.
Be calm. What's done is done.
295
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:54,406
You didn't know. Now it's over.
296
00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:57,992
As long as you've both been discreet,
no reason it should get back to Rhino.
297
00:12:58,076 --> 00:13:01,120
-I don't know what you're insinuating.
-Well, don't lie.
298
00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:03,914
Everyone knows what
goes on in that pop tent.
299
00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:06,207
Well, I can play at that game too.
300
00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:08,125
In fact, I already have,
301
00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:10,461
and with somebody right here tonight.
302
00:13:11,253 --> 00:13:12,713
How do you like that?
303
00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:16,632
Frasier, I have to ask a small favor.
I need you to create a distraction
304
00:13:16,716 --> 00:13:18,591
while I have a sex change
and move to Europe.
305
00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:20,009
I'm sorry, Niles.
306
00:13:20,093 --> 00:13:23,595
I would love to stay and help,
but I've gotta get out of here myself.
307
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:24,805
We're ready for the movie.
308
00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:27,765
-Mind helping me turn out the lights?
-Splendid idea.
309
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:30,935
You're gonna want it nice
and dark in here, aren't you?
310
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:33,979
You should've told me you were married.
I have to leave.
311
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,438
Don't be a fool.
If he sees someone sneaking out of here,
312
00:13:36,522 --> 00:13:38,232
that's the first person he'll suspect.
313
00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:39,609
FRASIER: All set?
314
00:13:40,609 --> 00:13:42,986
And it's show time.
315
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:46,738
NARRATOR: Here, under the
leafy canopy of the rain forest,
316
00:13:46,822 --> 00:13:50,450
the sun never penetrates
the gloom of the interior.
317
00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:52,575
An almost subterr…
318
00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:55,059
-What happened?
-Did someone pull the plug out?
319
00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:58,247
Yep. Here it is. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
320
00:13:58,331 --> 00:14:00,332
All right, lights out.
321
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:01,249
There you go.
322
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,377
NARRATOR: This hidden
kingdom, deep in the underbrush,
323
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:06,211
and all manner of creature…
324
00:14:06,295 --> 00:14:07,379
RHINO: What was that?
325
00:14:07,463 --> 00:14:10,715
Well, someone certainly
snuck out of here in a hurry.
326
00:14:14,009 --> 00:14:16,219
I know what you're all thinking.
327
00:14:16,303 --> 00:14:20,681
Now that Allison has seen fit
to air our dirty laundry in public,
328
00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,181
you assume that was her lover.
329
00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:23,308
[GASPS]
330
00:14:23,392 --> 00:14:24,434
But I know it wasn't.
331
00:14:24,518 --> 00:14:25,394
[GASPS]
332
00:14:27,353 --> 00:14:28,228
How?
333
00:14:28,312 --> 00:14:30,897
Because I can sense that he's still here.
334
00:14:31,606 --> 00:14:35,400
In the jungle, I learned to smell fear,
335
00:14:35,484 --> 00:14:37,736
and I smell it now.
336
00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:40,029
So…
337
00:14:41,322 --> 00:14:44,532
Let's see whether the swine
has guts to stand up and admit it
338
00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:46,034
before I expose him.
339
00:14:47,284 --> 00:14:48,411
What about it, coward?
340
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:50,538
Going to stand up?
341
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,883
RHINO: That many.
342
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,718
My God, woman, you're as bad as I am.
343
00:15:11,137 --> 00:15:13,638
Come on, you bastards, join me in a drink.
Ha, ha.
344
00:15:14,431 --> 00:15:16,432
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
345
00:15:19,893 --> 00:15:20,810
Hello.
346
00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:22,936
Hi, Dr. Crane.
347
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,063
We're all just on our
way up to your place.
348
00:15:25,147 --> 00:15:26,939
Noel. [CHUCKLES] So you are.
349
00:15:27,023 --> 00:15:29,483
Hi, Tom. Janet. Bill.
350
00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:32,361
I was just heading down. We're out of ice.
351
00:15:32,445 --> 00:15:33,694
Oh, not anymore.
352
00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:36,197
I brought a 20-pound bag.
353
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:40,784
Just call me Noel Shempsky, party saver.
354
00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:44,036
[STAMMERING]
355
00:15:45,454 --> 00:15:46,662
Here's the ice.
356
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,873
Here, Noel, put that in the kitchen.
Come on in, everybody.
357
00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:52,292
You know, Dad, I've
done the silliest thing.
358
00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:54,543
I went out without my wallet.
They gave me the ice,
359
00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:56,170
but I have to go back and pay them.
360
00:15:56,254 --> 00:15:58,922
At least play the last
round of charades with us.
361
00:15:59,006 --> 00:16:01,466
-I should be getting back there.
-But you love sha-rods.
362
00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:02,758
-Charades.
-Shut up.
363
00:16:02,842 --> 00:16:05,928
Anyway, it's not going to kill them
to wait a few minutes for their money.
364
00:16:06,012 --> 00:16:08,346
Be on our team.
We really suck at this game.
365
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:11,515
Noel, you're on our team.
The category is famous play titles.
366
00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:13,725
I'm a bear at charades.
367
00:16:13,809 --> 00:16:14,934
You ready?
368
00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:16,519
-Yeah.
-All right, go.
369
00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:17,437
Okay.
370
00:16:18,062 --> 00:16:20,189
ALL: Three words. First word.
371
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,065
-Morning.
-Mourning Becomes Electra.
372
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,066
-Yes!
-BULLDOG: What?!
373
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,151
Four seconds?
374
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,443
[ALL CHEERING]
375
00:16:27,527 --> 00:16:30,696
Well done, Roz. Nice playing with you.
I'm out of here. Bye-bye.
376
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:32,906
Hey, wait a second.
You have to take a turn.
377
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:35,699
-No, I… Well, really?
-You have 30 seconds to prepare.
378
00:16:35,783 --> 00:16:39,454
Well, all right. Maybe I'll just…
prepare in the kitchen.
379
00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:41,497
Excuse me.
380
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:48,501
Tricia.
You're going to laugh when you hear this.
381
00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:49,961
Hello? Tricia?
382
00:16:52,172 --> 00:16:53,005
Fine.
383
00:16:54,757 --> 00:16:55,590
Ha, ha.
384
00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:57,717
The Iceman Cometh.
385
00:16:59,427 --> 00:17:01,511
-All right.
-ROZ: Ready?
386
00:17:01,595 --> 00:17:02,721
Okay, go.
387
00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:05,889
-Three words. Three words.
-First word. First word.
388
00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:08,142
MARTIN: A small word. Okay.
389
00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:11,269
Uh, on, in, of, to…
390
00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:13,645
Be, is, it, I, you, me…
391
00:17:13,729 --> 00:17:16,523
MARTIN: They, them, us, we, me, she…
392
00:17:16,607 --> 00:17:18,315
Forget about it.
393
00:17:18,399 --> 00:17:20,609
Second word. Two syllables.
394
00:17:20,693 --> 00:17:21,860
First syllable.
395
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:25,488
Cold, cold, chilly, freezing, winter!
396
00:17:25,572 --> 00:17:28,282
MARTIN: Uh, snow, sleet, hail, frost…
397
00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:29,700
Frostbite. Gangrene!
398
00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:31,367
Gangrene?
399
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,452
No talking allowed.
400
00:17:32,536 --> 00:17:33,537
Aah!
401
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,621
Second syllable.
402
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:38,789
Shrink!
403
00:17:38,873 --> 00:17:40,291
Doctor. Dork!
404
00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:42,209
MARTIN: Person.
405
00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:44,127
Guy, male, man.
406
00:17:44,211 --> 00:17:45,670
Man. Man. Man.
407
00:17:45,754 --> 00:17:47,004
Let's see. Icy cold man.
408
00:17:47,088 --> 00:17:48,297
Ice, man.
409
00:17:48,381 --> 00:17:49,673
-Got it!
-Thank you.
410
00:17:49,757 --> 00:17:51,966
-Frosty the Snowman!
-Yes!
411
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:53,342
No, you jackass!
412
00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:54,969
The Iceman Cometh!
413
00:17:55,053 --> 00:17:56,553
Disqualified.
414
00:17:56,637 --> 00:18:00,097
You two are the worst charades
players I've ever seen in my life.
415
00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:02,183
My God, those skating chimps could…
416
00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,810
Well, you did your best.
We'll get them next time. Off I go.
417
00:18:05,894 --> 00:18:07,103
No, wait, wait, Frasier.
418
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:10,022
We still have one little
consolation prize for you.
419
00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:15,485
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
420
00:18:15,569 --> 00:18:21,447
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
421
00:18:21,531 --> 00:18:23,199
Look, he's crying.
422
00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:29,745
♪ Happy birthday, dear Frasier ♪
423
00:18:29,829 --> 00:18:36,829
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
424
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:49,636
Made it.
425
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,053
Boy, are you wrong.
426
00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:52,804
-Oh, Tricia, please.
-Save it, Frasier.
427
00:18:52,888 --> 00:18:54,805
I have a plane leaving
for Spokane in an hour.
428
00:18:54,889 --> 00:18:58,059
My cab is on the way, so why
don't you just be on your way too.
429
00:18:59,059 --> 00:19:02,645
Would it make any difference if I told
you I had to sneak out of a birthday party
430
00:19:02,729 --> 00:19:05,189
being given for me by my
own father just to come here?
431
00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:07,565
Yeah, right. It's your birthday.
432
00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:11,068
Look, if you don't believe
me, here, just see for yourself.
433
00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:14,655
In fact, it's turning out to be the worst
birthday party I've had since I was 8
434
00:19:14,739 --> 00:19:16,864
when I pinned the tail
on Sally Annunciato.
435
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,748
She shoved a cupcake down my shorts.
436
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,368
Wow.
437
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,652
You really blew off your own
birthday party just to come meet me.
438
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:27,988
I would have done almost
anything to get to know you better.
439
00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:31,875
Well, that's very sweet, Frasier,
and I wish I had more time,
440
00:19:31,959 --> 00:19:33,919
but I have an 8 a.m.
appointment in Spokane,
441
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,303
and I can't miss my plane.
442
00:19:36,504 --> 00:19:37,880
I could drive you.
443
00:19:37,964 --> 00:19:40,507
But it's only 20 minutes to the airport.
It's hardly worth it.
444
00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:42,759
I wasn't talking about the airport.
445
00:19:42,843 --> 00:19:43,843
What?
446
00:19:43,927 --> 00:19:46,136
I can have you in Spokane in six hours.
447
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,138
That gives us enough
time to get acquainted.
448
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,973
Oh, no. I can't ask you to do that.
449
00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:51,474
You didn't ask. I offered.
450
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,100
Look, I want to do it. Here.
451
00:19:54,518 --> 00:19:56,728
That's the most romantic
thing I've ever heard.
452
00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:59,272
Well, the way I see it, one
of two things can happen.
453
00:19:59,356 --> 00:20:02,023
Either we'll discover that we've
foolishly built each other up
454
00:20:02,107 --> 00:20:03,108
in our own imaginations
455
00:20:03,192 --> 00:20:05,735
because we had such
trouble getting together, or…
456
00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:10,086
This could end up being a
story we tell our grandchildren.
457
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:15,117
Personally, I can't
wait to find out which.
458
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,078
Me either.
459
00:20:21,456 --> 00:20:22,915
Oh, boy.
460
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:27,752
Well…
461
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,671
Off we go.
462
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,591
[SIGHS]
463
00:20:38,594 --> 00:20:41,012
I thought I'd find us a
little background music.
464
00:20:41,096 --> 00:20:42,221
Good idea.
465
00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:45,515
-Looking for some more opera?
-Heck, no.
466
00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,558
The one the other night
was my first and last.
467
00:20:47,642 --> 00:20:49,894
I was dragged to it by one of my converts.
468
00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:52,979
There we go.
469
00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:54,523
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
470
00:20:55,273 --> 00:20:57,108
-Converts, you say?
-Mm-hm.
471
00:20:57,650 --> 00:20:59,192
I'm one of the Truth-Bringers.
472
00:20:59,276 --> 00:21:01,402
I was ordained by
Brother Carmichael himself.
473
00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:02,820
The evangelist?
474
00:21:02,904 --> 00:21:05,698
I go door-to-door, spreading his word.
475
00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,702
Listen, do you mind my asking something?
476
00:21:11,411 --> 00:21:12,703
Have you heard the truth?
477
00:21:16,539 --> 00:21:18,290
Something tells me I'm about to.
478
00:21:25,879 --> 00:21:28,548
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
479
00:21:28,632 --> 00:21:31,062
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
480
00:21:31,146 --> 00:21:33,259
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
481
00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:35,095
Quite stylish.
482
00:21:35,721 --> 00:21:38,305
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
483
00:21:38,389 --> 00:21:40,098
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
484
00:21:40,182 --> 00:21:42,767
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
485
00:21:42,851 --> 00:21:44,352
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
486
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:48,105
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
487
00:21:49,690 --> 00:21:51,441
♪ They're callin' again ♪
488
00:21:52,442 --> 00:21:55,276
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
489
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,695
What is a boy to do?
490
00:21:59,363 --> 00:22:00,781
Thank you!