1
00:00:10,151 --> 00:00:11,193
-Daphne.
-Hey.
2
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,861
Hello, I thought you were
spending the afternoon with Dad.
3
00:00:13,945 --> 00:00:15,780
He's in the loo. Why don't you join us?
4
00:00:15,864 --> 00:00:17,908
Thank you. Did you catch the show today?
5
00:00:18,074 --> 00:00:20,535
I was on fire.
First caller was an agoraphobic.
6
00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:22,245
Boom! Knocked it out of the park.
7
00:00:22,329 --> 00:00:25,081
Then two troubled marriages
and a compulsive overeater.
8
00:00:25,165 --> 00:00:26,958
Boom, boom, boom!
9
00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:30,545
I was a regular mental
health dispensing machine.
10
00:00:30,754 --> 00:00:35,007
I did two loads of laundry and cut
a piece of gum out of Eddie's hair.
11
00:00:35,216 --> 00:00:38,218
Daphne, don't get down on yourself.
The work at home is very important.
12
00:00:38,302 --> 00:00:40,679
I don't know what Dad and I
will do once you're married.
13
00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:43,140
Thank you, Dr. Crane.
That makes me feel better.
14
00:00:43,349 --> 00:00:47,228
Boom!
Boy, there is no off switch on this thing.
15
00:00:47,436 --> 00:00:49,146
Sadly, that's true.
16
00:00:50,689 --> 00:00:52,523
There she is, the other half of our team.
17
00:00:52,607 --> 00:00:55,609
-Roz, you still as jazzed as I am?
-They're taking us off the air.
18
00:00:55,693 --> 00:00:56,777
What? Since when?
19
00:00:56,861 --> 00:00:59,948
While you were out looking for
Gatorade to pour over yourself,
20
00:01:00,156 --> 00:01:02,241
Kenny came by, said
he's yanking us for a week.
21
00:01:02,325 --> 00:01:05,995
He wants to try out that new show,
Car Chat With Bob and Bethany.
22
00:01:06,204 --> 00:01:09,332
Car Chat With Bob and Bethany? What the…
23
00:01:09,499 --> 00:01:12,668
Oh, touché, Kenny.
24
00:01:12,876 --> 00:01:16,088
You are indeed a worthy adversary.
25
00:01:16,255 --> 00:01:20,092
But you shall find I have
a trick or two of my own.
26
00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:23,595
You know, Dr. Crane, maybe a
week off would do you some good.
27
00:01:23,679 --> 00:01:26,849
You don't understand.
You see, I'm renegotiating my contract,
28
00:01:27,015 --> 00:01:29,560
and this is the station's
tactic to get me to cave.
29
00:01:29,768 --> 00:01:31,686
-I hope you're right.
-Of course I'm right.
30
00:01:31,770 --> 00:01:34,480
Bob and Bethany Car Chat, please.
31
00:01:34,689 --> 00:01:37,900
How could anybody drone on for hours
about a subject nobody understands?
32
00:01:37,984 --> 00:01:40,695
Yeah, we were there first.
33
00:01:41,654 --> 00:01:44,866
Don't worry, Dr. Crane.
I'm sure you're right about these things.
34
00:01:45,032 --> 00:01:46,409
After all, you usually are.
35
00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:49,078
Thank you.
That's exactly what I needed to hear.
36
00:01:49,245 --> 00:01:50,580
Boom.
37
00:01:52,206 --> 00:01:53,749
-Son.
-Oh, hi, Dad.
38
00:01:53,915 --> 00:01:56,584
They really did a job in
the men's room, didn't they?
39
00:01:56,668 --> 00:01:59,295
-I hadn't noticed.
-Oh, yeah, completely redid it.
40
00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,965
Fancy wallpaper, bright new tile,
41
00:02:02,132 --> 00:02:05,009
even those little perfumed soaps
that you like to use at home, Fras.
42
00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:06,720
-Oh.
-Oh, for heaven's sakes,
43
00:02:06,887 --> 00:02:09,931
you went into the ladies'
room, you blind old sod.
44
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,976
I've been begging him
for months to get glasses.
45
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:17,605
Ladies' room? You're crazy.
That guy was just in there.
46
00:02:18,647 --> 00:02:21,984
Oh, hi, Bethany.
Listen, good luck in the slot next week.
47
00:02:22,192 --> 00:02:24,111
Thanks. We're pumped.
48
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,906
Granted, Dad, Bethany
may be a bit of a tough call,
49
00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:30,618
but still, it wouldn't
hurt to get a checkup.
50
00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:33,662
Don't you start too.
There's nothing wrong with my eyes.
51
00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:38,291
Now, if you don't mind, I just
want to sit here quietly and have a…
52
00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:43,379
Have a drink of cream.
Do you have a problem with that?
53
00:02:50,887 --> 00:02:52,013
Hello, Dr. Crane.
54
00:02:52,221 --> 00:02:55,183
Oh, hello, Daphne.
55
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,892
Say, my agent, Bebe, said
she might be stopping by.
56
00:02:57,976 --> 00:02:59,602
-Have you heard anything?
-DAPHNE: No,
57
00:02:59,686 --> 00:03:01,396
and I hope she's not staying for lunch.
58
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,191
I'm afraid we're fresh out of live mice.
59
00:03:11,698 --> 00:03:13,700
-Hey, Fras.
-Dad.
60
00:03:20,206 --> 00:03:23,334
Is it my imagination, or
are those ladies' glasses?
61
00:03:24,752 --> 00:03:28,714
Yes. Don't you say anything.
I had to drag him down to the store.
62
00:03:28,798 --> 00:03:32,301
He tried on every pair in the place.
Those were the only ones he liked.
63
00:03:39,474 --> 00:03:44,312
So how do you like the new specs?
64
00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:48,191
-They certainly are eye-catching.
-MARTIN: Yeah.
65
00:03:48,733 --> 00:03:50,986
You should have seen
the looks I got all day.
66
00:03:51,528 --> 00:03:54,656
Yeah, mostly from women.
You know, I'd like to think it was me,
67
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:56,782
but I got an idea these
frames were designed
68
00:03:56,866 --> 00:03:59,618
with an eye to pleasing the ladies.
69
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,497
I'd say that's a safe assumption.
70
00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:06,416
Daph, have you seen the case?
I don't know what I did with it.
71
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,293
I popped them into my purse.
Check my room.
72
00:04:08,377 --> 00:04:11,380
MARTIN: Okey doke.
Oh, wait till you see this case, Fras.
73
00:04:11,547 --> 00:04:14,675
This Loren guy really
knows what he's doing.
74
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,928
-Ralph Lauren?
-Sophia.
75
00:04:21,305 --> 00:04:23,390
I'm amazed you could
keep a straight face all day.
76
00:04:23,474 --> 00:04:24,600
[DOORBELL RINGS]
77
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:27,395
I've done enough clothes
shopping with your father.
78
00:04:27,562 --> 00:04:29,897
I'm pretty good at
pretending to like things,
79
00:04:29,981 --> 00:04:32,942
no matter how horrifying I find them.
80
00:04:33,109 --> 00:04:36,279
Bebe. How nice to see you.
81
00:04:38,072 --> 00:04:40,907
Frasier, my favorite client.
82
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:43,368
Seattle's golden-throated
gift to the air waves.
83
00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:46,121
I take it negotiations
aren't going so well.
84
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:49,165
You remember that insulting
figure you said you'd never accept?
85
00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,918
-They haven't come up to it yet.
-Oh, dear.
86
00:04:52,002 --> 00:04:54,337
-NILES: Knock, knock.
-FRASIER: Oh, come on in, Niles.
87
00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:56,839
Bebe's just bringing me up to
speed on the depressing news
88
00:04:56,923 --> 00:04:58,508
about my contract negotiations.
89
00:04:58,675 --> 00:05:02,053
Don't worry. I just need to find
a way to throw a scare into them.
90
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,472
Have you tried turning into a bat?
91
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:10,519
I would, love, but most grown men
don't share your fear of tiny creatures.
92
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,365
Could you two please catch up later?
93
00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:22,113
I did get one offer that I thought might
give us some leverage. It's a TV job.
94
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,615
-Television?
-Unfortunately, it's all wrong for you.
95
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,619
They want you and Roz to
host AM Seattle next week.
96
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,329
That vapid morning chat show?
97
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:33,208
Exactly what I told them.
Frasier Crane is a doctor.
98
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,086
He heals the masses,
he doesn't pander to them.
99
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,587
He's not going to do
silly morning coffee klatch,
100
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,506
no matter how fabulously popular it is.
101
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,383
That's right, Bebe.
That sort of show is beneath me.
102
00:05:43,592 --> 00:05:44,843
-Exactly.
-It's undignified.
103
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,011
-Horribly.
-Still…
104
00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,638
I'm listening.
105
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:50,181
Is there were a way to
do it with more dignity,
106
00:05:50,265 --> 00:05:51,725
some polish and substance?
107
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,644
-Why didn't I think of that?
-A dash of high society,
108
00:05:54,728 --> 00:05:56,313
a dollop of culture.
109
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,857
I can't believe you're
even considering this.
110
00:05:59,066 --> 00:06:01,735
That show is nothing more
than a mélange of bad jokes
111
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,027
and mind-numbing banter.
112
00:06:03,236 --> 00:06:04,820
It doesn't have to be, don't you see?
113
00:06:04,904 --> 00:06:07,197
-If I could choose the guests myself…
-You can.
114
00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:08,699
-Control content…
-You could.
115
00:06:08,783 --> 00:06:11,333
-We'll, then I'd accept.
-We did. I mean, we will.
116
00:06:12,787 --> 00:06:16,999
In fact, why don't I call them
right now with the exciting news?
117
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:18,543
[CHUCKLES]
118
00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:21,420
-May I?
-On the balcony, if you don't mind.
119
00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:26,216
Mind? I don't want a single
puff tearing up the baby blues
120
00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,592
of TV's newest sensation.
121
00:06:27,676 --> 00:06:29,594
-By this time next week…
-You heard him.
122
00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:32,264
If you're gonna blow
smoke, do it on the balcony.
123
00:06:36,601 --> 00:06:39,563
Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
124
00:06:40,147 --> 00:06:41,606
What is that supposed to mean?
125
00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:43,607
Only that something
like this was inevitable.
126
00:06:43,691 --> 00:06:48,362
It's the final step in your descent from
legitimate psychiatrist to dancing bear.
127
00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:51,907
Niles we are talking about doing
a sophisticated television show
128
00:06:51,991 --> 00:06:54,284
for one week to improve
my contract negotiations.
129
00:06:54,368 --> 00:06:56,495
This has nothing to do
with contract negotiations.
130
00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:58,080
You have been an applause junkie
131
00:06:58,164 --> 00:07:00,791
ever since you first set foot
on a grammar school stage.
132
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:05,503
I was drawn to the theater because of
its discipline and collaborative spirit.
133
00:07:06,212 --> 00:07:09,257
Oh, please. In your sixth
grade production of Oklahoma!,
134
00:07:09,424 --> 00:07:11,134
you took so many curtain calls,
135
00:07:11,301 --> 00:07:15,221
Mrs. Van Raaphorst had to lasso
you and pull you from the stage.
136
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:19,642
That woman never understood me
or the role of Farmer Number Three.
137
00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,605
Oh, I'm just wasting my breath.
138
00:07:24,813 --> 00:07:27,857
As usual, you have fallen under
the spell of that sorceress out there.
139
00:07:27,941 --> 00:07:30,068
No such thing.
I wish you'd lay off of Bebe.
140
00:07:30,152 --> 00:07:33,152
She's some not malign witch
who can transform people at will.
141
00:07:33,238 --> 00:07:36,241
I can't find a damn thing in this purse.
142
00:07:42,706 --> 00:07:46,250
If I say I'm sorry, will she
change Dad back into a man?
143
00:07:50,129 --> 00:07:51,880
Well, it took several of your best people,
144
00:07:51,964 --> 00:07:54,258
but I believe they wrestled
this feisty cowlick of mine
145
00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:57,303
into submission. So are we ready to roll?
146
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,347
Not quite. Your partner's not here.
147
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:02,767
Roz is not here?
But we're on in four minutes.
148
00:08:02,975 --> 00:08:05,935
-A rerun is on in four minutes.
-Don't worry, she'll be here.
149
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,854
We won't have time to put her makeup.
150
00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:10,857
A natural beauty like Roz?
Oh, please, darling, pinch her cheeks,
151
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:12,441
stand back and watch her glow.
152
00:08:13,109 --> 00:08:16,279
-Hey, sorry I'm late.
-Roz, for God's sakes, you look awful.
153
00:08:16,488 --> 00:08:19,199
-Are you sick?
-No. I wouldn't be sick for our debut.
154
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,743
-I'm fine.
-Roz, you're burning up.
155
00:08:21,952 --> 00:08:24,829
Well, it's kind of hot in here.
Maybe it's all these lights.
156
00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:26,580
If I can just get this jacket off.
157
00:08:26,664 --> 00:08:29,583
-No, no, Roz, Roz, stop, stop.
-She's delirious.
158
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:32,836
With anticipation, darling.
Don't worry, I'll calm her down.
159
00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:36,006
Pull yourself together, do you hear me?
We need this show.
160
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:39,301
Everyone, we're doing a rerun.
Let the audience go. Cue the tapes.
161
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,303
Can't Frasier do the show without her?
162
00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:44,139
This is a chat show.
Who's he gonna chat with?
163
00:08:44,348 --> 00:08:46,475
-Me. I'll go on with him.
-You?
164
00:08:46,684 --> 00:08:48,851
Pull yourself together, Roz.
165
00:08:49,435 --> 00:08:51,185
-I don't think so, Bebe.
-Why not?
166
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:53,981
All he needs someone to suck
up to him, laugh at his jokes,
167
00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:55,566
pretend to listen to his stories.
168
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:58,820
I'm his agent.
For God's sakes, that's what I do.
169
00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:02,699
-I believe she could pull it off.
-She needs to be likable.
170
00:09:02,907 --> 00:09:05,576
Right. Do I at least get to keep the suit?
171
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:11,331
Hold on. I can be likable.
I can also be very unlikable.
172
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:13,958
If you explained the difference
to poor, confused Bebe.
173
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:16,419
For instance, what you were
doing in the dressing room
174
00:09:16,503 --> 00:09:18,046
with the wardrobe girl an hour ago.
175
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:21,508
Would your wife find
that likable or unlikable?
176
00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:24,209
Could you put some
makeup on this woman, now?
177
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:25,595
Okay, folks, 60 seconds.
178
00:09:25,762 --> 00:09:27,555
FRASIER: All right, Bebe, follow my lead.
179
00:09:27,639 --> 00:09:30,739
I'll introduce us, and then
we'll get to our guests, all right?
180
00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:33,352
Now, wasn't our first guest Susan Sontag?
181
00:09:33,436 --> 00:09:36,521
She had a conflict. Don't worry,
we've got a fabulous replacement.
182
00:09:36,605 --> 00:09:39,525
Baby Leo, the world's
biggest two-year-old?
183
00:09:39,692 --> 00:09:40,818
[BELL RINGS]
184
00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:43,935
You're gonna love him.
Just remember to lift with your legs.
185
00:09:45,448 --> 00:09:46,907
This is unacceptable.
186
00:09:47,116 --> 00:09:49,576
Oh, now who's the world's biggest baby?
187
00:09:49,784 --> 00:09:51,035
No, I will not do this show.
188
00:09:51,119 --> 00:09:54,080
MAN: We're live in five, four, three, two…
189
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:59,210
Hi. Welcome to AM Seattle.
I'm Dr. Frasier Crane.
190
00:09:59,377 --> 00:10:01,004
And I'm Bebe Glazer.
191
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,755
We're gonna be your hosts, believe me,
192
00:10:02,839 --> 00:10:05,508
we've got some great
shows lined up for you.
193
00:10:05,675 --> 00:10:07,427
But before we get to our guests,
194
00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:10,304
I'd like to take a few
moments to share with you
195
00:10:10,512 --> 00:10:15,184
a few thoughts I've prepared
on a very special time of the day.
196
00:10:15,392 --> 00:10:19,438
The time that we'll be
spending together, morning.
197
00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:23,776
A new beginning, a
daily rebirth, if you will.
198
00:10:23,984 --> 00:10:26,028
What the hell is this? Banter, banter.
199
00:10:26,195 --> 00:10:30,074
And even though AM
stands for ante meridiem,
200
00:10:30,282 --> 00:10:31,699
if you simply put them together,
201
00:10:31,783 --> 00:10:36,245
they also make up the word am, as in I am.
202
00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:41,000
Whoa, not before my coffee.
203
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:46,089
As you can see, Frasier
has a way with words.
204
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:49,926
But did you also know that
he has a way with voices?
205
00:10:50,134 --> 00:10:52,135
-Excuse me?
-Who wants to hear
206
00:10:52,302 --> 00:10:54,638
Frasier's famous Sean Connery impression?
207
00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:55,931
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
208
00:11:03,605 --> 00:11:07,317
[SCOTTISH ACCENT] Now, now,
Moneypenny, you're embarrassing me.
209
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:09,653
[LAUGHING]
210
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,071
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
211
00:11:13,697 --> 00:11:17,118
Dr. Frasier Crane, ladies and gentlemen.
212
00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:18,744
Any more impressions, Frasier?
213
00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:20,537
I should just get back to my statement.
214
00:11:20,621 --> 00:11:23,540
No, don't be shy. Who wants to
hear Frasier do more impressions?
215
00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:24,917
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
216
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,215
It's just that I'd hate to take
time away from our other guests.
217
00:11:31,382 --> 00:11:32,424
I believe that:
218
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:35,844
[BRITISH ACCENT] James
Mason may be stopping by to visit today.
219
00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:52,152
Well, this has been some week.
220
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:54,361
-It's really flown by.
-Hasn't it?
221
00:11:54,528 --> 00:11:55,946
-Whoosh!
-Ah, whoosh.
222
00:11:56,113 --> 00:11:58,573
I can't believe it's time for
Thursday's Kitchen Corner.
223
00:11:58,657 --> 00:12:01,827
We'll be right back with Chef Frasier.
224
00:12:01,994 --> 00:12:03,787
Hang tight.
225
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:06,081
MATT: And we're clear.
226
00:12:06,707 --> 00:12:09,126
Bebe, Kitchen Corner?
227
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,587
I thought we had the
violin prodigy up next.
228
00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:14,129
For God's sakes, we've
bumped Kim Lee twice this week.
229
00:12:14,213 --> 00:12:15,631
But we're running short of time,
230
00:12:15,715 --> 00:12:17,716
and the cooking segment is gonna be boffo.
231
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,220
Well, all right, but I insist Kim Lee
play over the closing credits, all right?
232
00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:24,598
We're not running some sort of a
tacky, run-of-the-mill morning show.
233
00:12:24,682 --> 00:12:27,602
-Here's your chef's costume.
-Allow me, dear.
234
00:12:27,768 --> 00:12:29,270
FRASIER: Thank you.
235
00:12:30,062 --> 00:12:31,562
-BEBE: You know, Frasier?
-Hmm?
236
00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:34,440
The most magical thing happened
to me last night during dinner.
237
00:12:34,524 --> 00:12:35,567
FRASIER: Really?
238
00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:38,570
-I was recognized.
-It's intoxicating, isn't it?
239
00:12:38,737 --> 00:12:39,905
[BELL RINGS]
240
00:12:40,071 --> 00:12:42,031
Oh, gosh, I myself,
no stranger to celebrity,
241
00:12:42,115 --> 00:12:45,869
have noticed more heads
swiveling in my direction.
242
00:12:46,036 --> 00:12:47,412
[LAUGHING]
243
00:12:47,579 --> 00:12:52,167
MAN: And we're back
in five, four, three, two…
244
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:55,127
-Welcome back.
-I hear you're quite the gourmet.
245
00:12:55,294 --> 00:12:57,296
Oh, please, I don't do anything fancy.
246
00:12:57,463 --> 00:13:01,175
A few soufflés, a flambé
or two, just good eats.
247
00:13:01,342 --> 00:13:04,970
Now this morning I'm going to be
making my signature breakfast for you.
248
00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:07,640
-That's Eggs Palermo Fontana.
-Mmm.
249
00:13:07,806 --> 00:13:09,141
Makes my mouth water.
250
00:13:09,308 --> 00:13:12,018
But before we start, I have
a little sweetheart backstage
251
00:13:12,102 --> 00:13:14,355
who's dying to come
out and give you a hand.
252
00:13:14,522 --> 00:13:16,648
-Is it Kim Lee?
-Not even close.
253
00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:19,025
It's Bobo, the cooking chimp.
254
00:13:19,275 --> 00:13:20,735
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
255
00:13:22,987 --> 00:13:25,532
Oh, that's very funny, it is.
256
00:13:25,698 --> 00:13:27,659
Has Matt's fingerprints all over it.
257
00:13:27,825 --> 00:13:29,077
[FRASIER LAUGHS]
258
00:13:29,244 --> 00:13:31,246
We thought it might be great fun
259
00:13:31,412 --> 00:13:33,497
if you were to match
your skills against his.
260
00:13:33,581 --> 00:13:35,792
FRASIER: Well, I don't know, Bebe…
261
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,584
Well, let's let the audience decide.
262
00:13:37,668 --> 00:13:39,752
How many of you want to
see the monkey make eggs?
263
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:40,879
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
264
00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:42,089
Well… Well…
265
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,424
Now, how many of you
want to see Bobo make eggs?
266
00:13:44,508 --> 00:13:45,551
[LAUGHING]
267
00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,886
-Just kidding.
-Ouch.
268
00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:52,432
Well, all right, apes before beauty.
269
00:13:55,227 --> 00:13:58,938
Frasier, Bobo, may the best chef win.
270
00:13:59,146 --> 00:14:01,023
FRASIER: Now the
first rule of Haute cuisine
271
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,358
is to be sure that you
have all your ingredients.
272
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:05,987
You see, we have eggs, milk, butter,
273
00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:10,491
spinach and of course,
our old friend, the shallot.
274
00:14:14,328 --> 00:14:18,123
Why, look at that. He's not even
preheating the pan, the beast.
275
00:14:18,915 --> 00:14:20,417
Bobo's getting an early lead.
276
00:14:20,584 --> 00:14:25,171
Yeah. It's very important to
keep your eggs light and fluffy.
277
00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:31,928
So, what you want to do is add
a bit of milk and a touch of flour.
278
00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:33,471
[BEBE LAUGHING]
279
00:14:41,353 --> 00:14:43,022
Pesky little champ, isn't he?
280
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:48,485
Oh, you crazy chimp.
281
00:14:52,865 --> 00:14:54,700
[ON TV] Oh, my God.
282
00:14:54,908 --> 00:14:56,785
This whole thing was improvised.
283
00:14:57,369 --> 00:14:59,245
You're kidding.
It's like you and the chimp
284
00:14:59,329 --> 00:15:00,913
have been working together for years.
285
00:15:00,997 --> 00:15:04,167
Yeah. Boy, that's great stuff, Frasier.
286
00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:07,253
You know, I can't tell you how
impressed the guys at McGinty's are
287
00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:08,796
that I have such a famous son.
288
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,298
-What did they say?
-They won't say anything to my face,
289
00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:15,678
but when I walk in, they kind of
nudge each other and whisper.
290
00:15:16,888 --> 00:15:18,348
[OVEN TIMER DINGS]
291
00:15:18,514 --> 00:15:22,517
-That'll be my shepherd's pie.
-Shepherd's pie?
292
00:15:23,101 --> 00:15:25,103
I must confess, there's
a part of me that wishes
293
00:15:25,187 --> 00:15:26,479
I could still do the TV show.
294
00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:27,689
[DOORBELL RINGS]
295
00:15:27,856 --> 00:15:30,483
There's a part of me that wishes
that monkey was cooking dinner
296
00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:32,277
instead of you-know-who.
297
00:15:32,444 --> 00:15:35,489
But we put our dreams away.
298
00:15:36,823 --> 00:15:39,409
Oh, hi, Roz. Well, don't you look nice.
You feeling better?
299
00:15:39,493 --> 00:15:41,077
Yes, thank you. Can we talk?
300
00:15:41,243 --> 00:15:43,370
Well, of course. Come on in.
What's the matter?
301
00:15:43,454 --> 00:15:45,747
Well, I talked to my
friends in Business Affairs,
302
00:15:45,831 --> 00:15:49,334
and they say they're ready to close
our deals, but Bebe's holding it up.
303
00:15:49,418 --> 00:15:52,379
Of course she's holding it up.
She's trying to make them sweat a bit.
304
00:15:52,463 --> 00:15:55,007
That's the whole strategy
behind this TV show. Leverage.
305
00:15:55,091 --> 00:15:57,635
Yeah, well,
306
00:15:57,802 --> 00:16:01,095
I heard a rumor that AM Seattle
isn't happy with their regular hosts,
307
00:16:01,179 --> 00:16:03,515
and I think she's angling
for you to take over.
308
00:16:03,723 --> 00:16:07,727
-So where does that leave me?
-Well, even if that was Bebe's plan,
309
00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:10,980
you're forgetting that it's still my
career, and I'm calling the shots.
310
00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:13,149
There is no way I would
continue doing AM Seattle.
311
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,900
You're having the time of your life.
312
00:16:14,984 --> 00:16:16,611
I'm playing a character.
313
00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:19,697
There is a big difference between
Dr. Frasier Crane, psychiatrist,
314
00:16:19,781 --> 00:16:22,407
and Frasier Crane, the guy
who starts your morning right.
315
00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:23,617
[CHUCKLES]
316
00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:27,954
I'll tell you what, I will speak to Bebe
tomorrow when we're in the chair.
317
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:31,082
That's the industry term for when
we're getting our makeup put on.
318
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:33,335
-Thanks, Frasier.
-Yeah, sure.
319
00:16:33,502 --> 00:16:35,963
-God, this is so weird.
-Hmm?
320
00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:38,465
Daphne usually has such great taste.
321
00:16:38,674 --> 00:16:40,926
What is she thinking with these glasses?
322
00:16:41,093 --> 00:16:45,722
-Well, actually, Roz…
-I gotta go see what these look like.
323
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:47,288
-Hi, Roz.
-ROZ: Hey, Martin.
324
00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:48,933
MARTIN: Hey!
325
00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:54,147
Hey, somebody ought to tell Mr. Doyle
she's wearing a dude's glasses.
326
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:02,280
Oh, Kiki, you're a magician.
327
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:06,199
Frasier, you're not gonna believe
what wonderful news I just got.
328
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:08,285
-They want us to stay on.
-What?
329
00:17:08,452 --> 00:17:11,663
Yes, we had the highest
ratings the show's had all year.
330
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:14,249
I don't believe this. Roz was right.
331
00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:17,252
You had no intention of
renegotiating my radio contract.
332
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:22,674
I don't expect gratitude,
Frasier, just a little faith.
333
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,760
I finished your KACL
contract this morning.
334
00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:28,679
-You did?
-And I did quite a good job, I might add.
335
00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:32,850
Oh, I am sorry, Bebe.
I owe you an apology.
336
00:17:34,143 --> 00:17:36,437
Well, this is wonderful.
337
00:17:36,604 --> 00:17:39,899
You got an extra week's vacation
and a very handsome raise.
338
00:17:40,107 --> 00:17:42,567
It's garbage compared to
what they'll give us to stay here.
339
00:17:42,651 --> 00:17:44,860
You'll get an expense
account, a wardrobe allowance,
340
00:17:44,944 --> 00:17:46,613
not a mention a car and driver.
341
00:17:47,322 --> 00:17:49,532
No, no, let's not forget
why I took this job.
342
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:53,369
It was to raise my profile to get a
better deal with the radio contract.
343
00:17:53,536 --> 00:17:57,165
We've done that, Bebe, and I thank you.
344
00:18:00,627 --> 00:18:04,005
You're welcome, darling.
And I respect your choice.
345
00:18:04,172 --> 00:18:06,757
-Thanks.
-Now, let's talk about today's show.
346
00:18:06,924 --> 00:18:09,008
-FRASIER: Right.
-We start with the Friday Fiesta.
347
00:18:09,092 --> 00:18:10,636
Here are our costumes.
348
00:18:10,803 --> 00:18:15,390
And then we move on to the
Girl Scout cookie-selling champion.
349
00:18:15,557 --> 00:18:16,975
[CRYING]
350
00:18:17,142 --> 00:18:19,520
And then we…
351
00:18:20,437 --> 00:18:22,147
Bebe, are you all right?
352
00:18:24,483 --> 00:18:26,984
I've spent my life in the wings.
353
00:18:27,151 --> 00:18:31,155
It was just nice having
my moment in a spotlight.
354
00:18:31,364 --> 00:18:35,827
The rush when that little red
light on the camera turns on.
355
00:18:36,035 --> 00:18:38,685
And the strip of masking
tape on my dressing room door
356
00:18:38,788 --> 00:18:40,498
with my name on it.
357
00:18:40,665 --> 00:18:42,959
The Stage Door Johnnies,
358
00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:46,586
or whatever that strange man with
the autograph book calls himself.
359
00:18:47,128 --> 00:18:50,006
Admit it, darling, you
want this as much as I do.
360
00:18:50,215 --> 00:18:52,508
I saw it in your eyes
during the pie-eating contest.
361
00:18:52,592 --> 00:18:57,347
Nobody loves blueberries that much.
It's the audience you love.
362
00:18:57,514 --> 00:19:00,016
ANNOUNCER: Are you
ready for Bebe and Frasier?
363
00:19:00,183 --> 00:19:01,434
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
364
00:19:03,812 --> 00:19:05,689
Listen to them.
365
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:10,401
-They want you.
-They do want me, don't they?
366
00:19:10,568 --> 00:19:12,611
Tell me to tear up the contract, Frasier.
367
00:19:12,695 --> 00:19:14,363
Maybe it is time for a change.
368
00:19:14,572 --> 00:19:16,282
Get away from him, you she-thing.
369
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:18,617
Niles.
370
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:20,786
It's good Dad started
choking on that peanut,
371
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,830
or I'd have never have come back
here for water. Stop this madness.
372
00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:26,833
He can't stop it. No one can.
Show business is in his blood.
373
00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:29,067
No, psychiatry is.
Frasier, you're a healer.
374
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,714
Anyone can heal. You're better than that.
You're an entertainer.
375
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,842
Oh, God, Niles, she's right.
376
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:40,889
I love the audience. I know it's
shallow, but it makes me feel alive.
377
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,560
Do you have any idea how
ridiculous you look in this outfit?
378
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:49,646
Frasier, I know I sometimes
make light of your radio show,
379
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:52,399
but the truth is you provide help and hope
380
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,693
and comfort to people who need it.
381
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,029
I have always envied you that.
382
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,531
Don't listen to that drivel.
383
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,952
He's right, Bebe.
384
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,331
I'm a psychiatrist.
I can't do this show anymore.
385
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,790
I'm sorry.
386
00:20:09,957 --> 00:20:13,002
Then quit. Who needs you?
387
00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:15,046
I'll find some other stuffed shirt
388
00:20:15,212 --> 00:20:18,049
who's happy to ride my coattails to fame.
389
00:20:18,215 --> 00:20:21,165
-Niles, you're a doctor.
-Niles, don't look into her eyes.
390
00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:30,644
Well, that's it.
391
00:20:33,313 --> 00:20:36,024
The dream is over.
392
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,611
MAN: Thirty seconds.
393
00:20:40,278 --> 00:20:42,906
But I'm still a professional.
394
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,409
There's an audience out there
395
00:20:46,576 --> 00:20:49,537
waiting for two people
to ride in on a donkey.
396
00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:53,082
I don't know about you,
397
00:20:55,042 --> 00:20:57,628
but I'm not gonna let them down.
398
00:21:03,342 --> 00:21:05,469
It's your last show.
399
00:21:05,886 --> 00:21:07,638
Get out there.
400
00:21:07,972 --> 00:21:12,100
Thanks, brother, for keeping me grounded.
401
00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:20,066
Vaya con Dios.
402
00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:23,945
ANNOUNCER:
Here they are, Bebe and Frasier!
403
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,832
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]