1
00:00:08,974 --> 00:00:12,603
I can't believe how cold it is in here.
2
00:00:12,854 --> 00:00:15,854
Niles, the climate control is on.
It's perfectly comfortable.
3
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:19,612
Oh, really? Touch your tongue
to the seat belt. I dare you.
4
00:00:19,779 --> 00:00:21,989
Starting to regret I even
asked you to this exhibit.
5
00:00:22,073 --> 00:00:25,452
I wanted to invite Regan, but after
the disaster I made of our first date,
6
00:00:25,536 --> 00:00:27,036
I felt too ashamed to even ask.
7
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,083
Well, you can't avoid her forever.
She's your neighbor.
8
00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:32,793
Ask her again.
What's the worst thing that could happen?
9
00:00:32,877 --> 00:00:34,504
She could ask me to stop harassing her.
10
00:00:34,588 --> 00:00:37,340
I'd have to spend the next six
months riding the service elevator
11
00:00:37,424 --> 00:00:39,678
with Guillermo and his three-legged cat.
12
00:00:39,928 --> 00:00:41,304
How is little Wobbles?
13
00:00:41,805 --> 00:00:45,393
Fine. I see what you're doing, Niles.
14
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,813
If you're so cold, there is a
scarf in the glove compartment.
15
00:00:48,897 --> 00:00:52,247
Oh, really? I thought that's where
you kept the butter and the eggs.
16
00:00:52,484 --> 00:00:54,529
Well, now it's burning up in here.
17
00:00:54,779 --> 00:00:56,363
I've just gotta take this thing off.
18
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,547
-Are you insane?
-No.
19
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,159
At least wait until we've stopped.
20
00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:01,328
-You're gonna get us killed.
-Take the wheel.
21
00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:03,205
I'll take the wheel… Frasier, stop. Stop.
22
00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:06,585
-No, it's almost off.
-No, I mean brake. Brake.
23
00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:14,386
-NILES: Are you all right?
-FRASIER: Yes.
24
00:01:14,595 --> 00:01:19,517
Thank heaven your fist
softened the blow of the air bag.
25
00:01:24,773 --> 00:01:26,150
Hurt your nose?
26
00:01:28,987 --> 00:01:30,196
Yes.
27
00:01:30,363 --> 00:01:32,963
That's what I figured.
Right when you came in I said:
28
00:01:33,074 --> 00:01:37,955
"That guy hurt his nose."
So how did you, uh, you know…
29
00:01:38,122 --> 00:01:39,833
Excuse me.
30
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:44,631
Yes, hello, this is
Dr. Frasier Crane here.
31
00:01:44,797 --> 00:01:47,883
I was wondering, I filled out my
paperwork about half an hour ago.
32
00:01:47,967 --> 00:01:50,679
They'll call you. We're seeing
people in order of importance.
33
00:01:50,763 --> 00:01:53,599
Oh, really? Well, you know, I
do have my own radio show.
34
00:01:54,643 --> 00:01:56,478
The importance of the injury.
35
00:01:56,686 --> 00:01:58,355
Yes, of course.
36
00:01:58,521 --> 00:02:01,484
Do you know, are there
any plastic surgeons on call?
37
00:02:01,692 --> 00:02:02,943
Niles, that's not necessary.
38
00:02:03,027 --> 00:02:04,612
Can't be too careful. Could be broken.
39
00:02:04,696 --> 00:02:07,615
Don't worry. The best plastic
surgeons have their offices here.
40
00:02:07,699 --> 00:02:09,599
Dr. Rabb, Dr. Karnofsky and Dr. Burke.
41
00:02:09,786 --> 00:02:12,288
Karnofsky? Mel Karnofsky?
42
00:02:12,497 --> 00:02:13,623
That's right.
43
00:02:14,123 --> 00:02:15,875
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Surgical resident on one.
44
00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:18,462
-Maris' plastic surgeon.
-Oh.
45
00:02:19,714 --> 00:02:22,174
Would you believe that
charlatan is still picking my pocket
46
00:02:22,258 --> 00:02:23,510
a year after my divorce?
47
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:27,014
-Good Lord, for what?
-Oh, for Maris' Botox injections.
48
00:02:28,224 --> 00:02:30,519
You know, they use those botulinum toxins
49
00:02:30,686 --> 00:02:33,521
in the forehead, it deadens the
muscles and takes away the wrinkles.
50
00:02:33,605 --> 00:02:35,566
I gave it as a gift for our anniversary.
51
00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:38,945
Oh, yes, probably your 10th.
That's toxins, isn't it?
52
00:02:40,489 --> 00:02:43,992
Anyway, Karnofsky keeps billing
me for her follow-up injections.
53
00:02:44,284 --> 00:02:46,996
-FRASIER: Good Lord.
-So you're divorced, huh?
54
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:52,628
-Yes.
-Me too. I'm Phil.
55
00:02:52,795 --> 00:02:54,839
-Hello.
-Fourteen years together.
56
00:02:55,047 --> 00:02:56,425
Came home on day and…
57
00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:58,509
I probably shouldn't even talk about it.
58
00:02:58,593 --> 00:03:00,137
Okay.
59
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,851
You know, Niles, seeing as how we're here,
60
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:07,646
why don't you find Karnofsky
and straighten the thing out?
61
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:11,275
-No, no, I can't leave you here injured.
-Oh, it's all right, Niles. I'll be fine.
62
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:14,404
Well, if you're sure, I may
just pay Dr. Karnofsky a visit.
63
00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,990
It is outrageous what these
scalpel jockeys get away with.
64
00:03:17,074 --> 00:03:19,534
Convincing women to spend
fortunes on their exterior
65
00:03:19,618 --> 00:03:22,413
when what they need is to take
a good look at the woman inside.
66
00:03:22,497 --> 00:03:24,207
Right. She did have one chemical peel
67
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,711
where you could see
her kidneys for a while.
68
00:03:28,004 --> 00:03:30,674
-FRASIER: Off you go. Good luck, Niles.
-Thank you.
69
00:03:31,216 --> 00:03:34,136
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Lab call extension 2768.
70
00:03:34,428 --> 00:03:38,057
Lab call extension 2768.
71
00:03:44,732 --> 00:03:47,486
Not a pretty woman, my
wife, but when she danced,
72
00:03:47,819 --> 00:03:49,529
you couldn't keep your eyes off her.
73
00:03:49,613 --> 00:03:52,742
You know, actually, I'm
feeling a lot better. Goodbye.
74
00:03:55,036 --> 00:03:58,290
Frasier Crane?
Frasier Crane, we're ready to see you.
75
00:03:58,707 --> 00:04:00,417
That's me.
76
00:04:09,512 --> 00:04:12,712
Ah. Dr. Karnofsky. I see you
finally decided to make time for me.
77
00:04:12,808 --> 00:04:16,258
Sorry, I'm from Records. I was
told to bring over Maris Crane's files.
78
00:04:18,064 --> 00:04:19,148
That's this year.
79
00:04:22,611 --> 00:04:24,947
-Dr. Crane?
-NILES: Yes.
80
00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:28,409
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
Melinda Karnofsky.
81
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,749
Oh, uh, yes, of course. Niles Crane.
82
00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:35,793
About this billing issue… Ahem.
83
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,838
Oh, my God, this box is filthy.
84
00:04:39,548 --> 00:04:45,263
The problem is I have received
three invoices over the past six months.
85
00:04:45,471 --> 00:04:50,310
Yes, I'm so sorry about that. And I…
I'm so sorry about all this dust.
86
00:04:50,519 --> 00:04:52,605
Do you mind?
I'll have to turn on my HEPA filter.
87
00:04:52,689 --> 00:04:56,276
Oh. You have a HEPA…
[GASPS] You have a Svensen.
88
00:04:57,278 --> 00:05:00,072
Yes. They're great, aren't they?
89
00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:04,411
Not to mention impossible
to get in this country. I've tried.
90
00:05:04,578 --> 00:05:08,165
Well, I once did a favor for Mrs. Svensen.
Oh, it's a long story.
91
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,710
-I'm all ears.
-So was she.
92
00:05:11,502 --> 00:05:14,702
Anyway, I've spoken to the
Accounting Department about your bill,
93
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:17,009
and it was clearly our mistake.
94
00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:19,470
Please accept my apology.
We'll take care of it.
95
00:05:19,554 --> 00:05:21,514
Oh. I appreciate that.
96
00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,854
-Oh.
-Ooh. I like that print very much.
97
00:05:27,062 --> 00:05:28,106
MEL: Ugh. Hm?
98
00:05:28,273 --> 00:05:30,023
-Everything all right?
-I'm sorry.
99
00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,818
I just noticed a smudge on my jacket.
100
00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:33,988
Oh, well, it's barely noticeable.
101
00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:38,201
You're being kind.
I got that print at the last museum show.
102
00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:42,247
Oh! I thought you looked familiar.
Uh, perhaps I've seen you there.
103
00:05:42,456 --> 00:05:46,419
Perhaps. I go to all of the openings.
I'm on the museum board.
104
00:05:47,045 --> 00:05:48,088
Really?
105
00:05:48,255 --> 00:05:51,305
Well, congratulations.
All the exhibits this year have been
106
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,470
perfection.
107
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,597
Thank you.
108
00:05:56,473 --> 00:05:57,682
I, uh…
109
00:05:57,850 --> 00:06:02,396
I particularly like the Picasso.
I'm a big fan of his Cubist period.
110
00:06:02,605 --> 00:06:04,107
-Oh, striking, isn't she?
-Yeah.
111
00:06:04,191 --> 00:06:06,317
Yes, I'd like to think
if she'd come in here,
112
00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:08,404
I could actually have helped her.
113
00:06:10,865 --> 00:06:12,565
You must think I'm terribly fussy.
114
00:06:13,452 --> 00:06:14,703
Yes.
115
00:06:14,954 --> 00:06:18,208
Well, anyway, it was
very nice meeting you.
116
00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:20,043
Oh, likewise.
117
00:06:20,335 --> 00:06:22,044
WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Dr. Karnofsky,
118
00:06:22,128 --> 00:06:24,478
Mrs. Magrashak has a
question for you in room three.
119
00:06:24,799 --> 00:06:25,925
Helen Magrashak?
120
00:06:26,092 --> 00:06:28,929
-Oh, I really can't say.
-Right.
121
00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:32,432
-She's finally having it removed?
-Why did she wait?
122
00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:34,352
I don't know.
123
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,360
Found '98.
124
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,864
Uh, actually, that's all been settled.
125
00:06:45,073 --> 00:06:48,576
Can you tell me, do you
know, is that her husband?
126
00:06:48,786 --> 00:06:50,746
No, she's divorced. That's her son.
127
00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:53,416
Really?
128
00:06:53,582 --> 00:06:57,379
Dr. Karnofsky's so young. She must
have had him when she was a child.
129
00:06:58,213 --> 00:06:59,257
Okay.
130
00:07:04,304 --> 00:07:06,765
Oh. Oh, is there something else?
131
00:07:06,974 --> 00:07:09,310
Uh, no.
132
00:07:09,894 --> 00:07:11,354
No.
133
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:13,023
-Well…
-MEL: Yes?
134
00:07:13,189 --> 00:07:16,569
Mel, uh, I was wondering, uh… Ooh.
135
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:17,987
-MEL: Oh.
-Uh…
136
00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:21,324
-I, uh… This is a little awkward…
-Yes, I…
137
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:25,580
Thank you.
I, uh, am not really sure how to ask.
138
00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:27,831
-I think I know what it is.
-Uh-huh.
139
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,877
And you've got no reason to be nervous.
140
00:07:30,085 --> 00:07:32,713
-Oh, really?
-Yes. Just a few quick injections
141
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,301
and those nasty little wrinkles in
your forehead, they'll disappear.
142
00:07:38,053 --> 00:07:40,681
Well, that is what you
were going to ask, isn't it?
143
00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:44,686
-Yes.
-Well, it's a very simple procedure,
144
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:48,857
although your forehead will be numb
for a while. I can fit you in at 4:30.
145
00:07:49,024 --> 00:07:51,610
Oh, good. That gives me time
to do something I need to do.
146
00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:53,321
MEL: Excellent.
147
00:07:56,784 --> 00:07:58,577
[DOORBELL RINGS]
148
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,538
-DAPHNE: Hello, Dr. Crane.
-NILES: Hello, Daphne.
149
00:08:00,622 --> 00:08:02,873
I was on my way home,
thought I'd see the patient.
150
00:08:02,957 --> 00:08:04,960
Oh, I'm fine. Thank you, Niles.
151
00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:07,129
You have no idea how guilty I'm feeling.
152
00:08:07,213 --> 00:08:09,966
I suppose he told you it was
my fist that struck the inadvertent,
153
00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:11,134
yet powerful blow.
154
00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:18,184
So how did things go with
the nefarious Dr. Karnofsky?
155
00:08:18,351 --> 00:08:22,051
-You give him a piece of your mind?
-Actually, he turned out to be a she.
156
00:08:22,189 --> 00:08:24,858
-And quite a reasonable she, at that.
-Really?
157
00:08:25,025 --> 00:08:26,235
That's quite a turnabout.
158
00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:28,655
-Yes, well…
-Dr. Crane, don't move.
159
00:08:28,822 --> 00:08:30,172
-Why?
-There's a mosquito.
160
00:08:30,366 --> 00:08:31,784
-Where?
-On your forehead.
161
00:08:31,951 --> 00:08:33,994
Oh. Get off. Get off. Get off.
162
00:08:34,954 --> 00:08:36,540
-It's already gone.
-Oh.
163
00:08:36,706 --> 00:08:38,374
Oh, dear. It looks like it bit you.
164
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:40,461
Oh, right. Ow.
165
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:48,512
Niles, wrinkle your
forehead for me, will you?
166
00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,604
Why would I do that?
167
00:08:56,105 --> 00:08:58,566
Just do it. Wrinkle your forehead.
168
00:09:03,989 --> 00:09:06,909
-I'm not your marionette.
-You got a Botox injection.
169
00:09:07,118 --> 00:09:09,286
You've got a forehead
full of poison, don't you?
170
00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:11,498
I do not.
171
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:18,673
Whoa, that's strange. The
mosquito fell right out of the air, dead.
172
00:09:21,719 --> 00:09:23,596
What's a Botox injection?
173
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:26,682
Oh, it's a cosmetic procedure
they use to eliminate facial wrinkles.
174
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:30,687
Oh, great. My kids are having plastic
surgery. That's a nice age to get to.
175
00:09:31,063 --> 00:09:33,899
I can't believe you let Maris'
witch doctor work her magic on you.
176
00:09:33,983 --> 00:09:37,112
Mel is a perfectly lovely person.
177
00:09:37,279 --> 00:09:39,906
In fact, I was screwing up my
courage to ask her out on a date
178
00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,952
when she noticed this little
flaw and I lost my nerve.
179
00:09:43,161 --> 00:09:46,415
Yes, and most of the
feeling in your face as well.
180
00:09:47,041 --> 00:09:49,167
Dr. Crane, look.
Your picture's on the news.
181
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:50,544
FRASIER: Turn it up, Dad. Turn it up.
182
00:09:50,628 --> 00:09:52,713
ANCHORWOMAN [ON TV]:
After checking into the hospital
183
00:09:52,797 --> 00:09:55,383
with what appeared to be minor
injuries from a fender-bender,
184
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:58,554
radio psychiatrist Frasier
Crane died suddenly today.
185
00:09:59,722 --> 00:10:02,351
I'm sure I speak for
all of us here at KYOL
186
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,686
when I say he will be sorely missed.
187
00:10:04,853 --> 00:10:07,398
But this rain won't
be missed, will it, Flip?
188
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,525
Dear God.
189
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,654
-What the hell?
-That's unbelievable.
190
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,948
Outrageous.
191
00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:20,037
As it turns out, after
I left the hospital,
192
00:10:20,121 --> 00:10:22,375
some poor devil used
my name to jump the line
193
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,733
and he dropped dead of a heart attack.
194
00:10:24,877 --> 00:10:26,045
Oh…
195
00:10:26,212 --> 00:10:29,883
I must say, it does feel a bit
strange having plunged all of Seattle,
196
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:32,971
albeit temporarily, into so much grief.
197
00:10:34,472 --> 00:10:38,686
I know I'll never forget where I
was when I heard you had died.
198
00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:41,146
I was out on the street,
199
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:43,482
and there was this crowd
watching a television
200
00:10:43,566 --> 00:10:45,402
through a department-store window.
201
00:10:45,568 --> 00:10:48,406
Before I knew it, we were
weeping and hugging each other.
202
00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:50,032
That's very amusing, Roz.
203
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,411
And then it began to rain
204
00:10:52,577 --> 00:10:55,277
and I had this feeling that
all the angels were crying.
205
00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:56,957
Yes, all right, Roz.
206
00:10:57,375 --> 00:10:59,419
Hey, Roz. Fras, did you see this?
207
00:10:59,585 --> 00:11:01,045
Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.
208
00:11:01,129 --> 00:11:02,979
-It's my obituary.
-They printed it?
209
00:11:03,132 --> 00:11:06,176
They must have picked it off the wire
before the news ran that correction.
210
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:07,803
MARTIN: Jimmy gave it to me at McGinty's.
211
00:11:07,887 --> 00:11:11,087
Boy, everybody was no nice to
me, buying me beers and everything.
212
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:15,354
Because of the shock I went
through, thinking I'd lost my son.
213
00:11:15,563 --> 00:11:17,982
What are you talking about?
You never thought I was dead.
214
00:11:18,066 --> 00:11:20,068
Well, people don't have to know that.
215
00:11:20,485 --> 00:11:22,528
I mean, I could have been at home, alone,
216
00:11:22,612 --> 00:11:23,865
wondering where you were,
217
00:11:24,115 --> 00:11:26,409
and I get this strange, uneasy feeling.
218
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:29,330
So I turn on the TV, and there it is
219
00:11:29,496 --> 00:11:33,251
on the screen: the face of my dead son.
220
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,919
I was sitting right beside you.
221
00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:36,754
-What kind of story is that?
-The truth.
222
00:11:36,838 --> 00:11:39,842
Well, the truth doesn't
put anything on a coaster.
223
00:11:40,051 --> 00:11:43,680
Wow, that's something for your
scrapbook, huh? Your own obituary.
224
00:11:43,847 --> 00:11:47,142
Yes, well. You know, frankly, it's…
225
00:11:47,309 --> 00:11:49,354
It's a little upsetting.
226
00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:52,812
I don't think they meant to be insulting.
You are lovably pompous.
227
00:11:52,899 --> 00:11:55,277
Yeah, well. No, it's…
228
00:11:55,652 --> 00:11:58,552
It's not that. It's just seeing
my life in black and white.
229
00:11:58,698 --> 00:12:02,702
It just all looks a little incomplete.
230
00:12:02,911 --> 00:12:05,790
-What do you mean?
-I was gonna do so much with my life.
231
00:12:06,707 --> 00:12:08,585
I was gonna write a novel.
232
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:13,131
Run for public office. I was gonna
do my own translation of Freud.
233
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:16,344
Well, what's stopping you?
You're not actually dead.
234
00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:19,181
Yes, you're right, Roz.
235
00:12:19,348 --> 00:12:21,183
-I'm not dead, am I?
-No.
236
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:25,192
Maybe that's a good way of looking
at this, actually. More of a wake-up call.
237
00:12:25,313 --> 00:12:29,860
Dr. Crane. I was so relieved
to hear that you were all right.
238
00:12:30,069 --> 00:12:31,570
-Oh, thank you.
-I heard the news,
239
00:12:31,654 --> 00:12:33,489
and I thought, "What a shame.
240
00:12:33,656 --> 00:12:36,951
-Why, he is such a young man."
-That's so nice of you. Thank you.
241
00:12:37,035 --> 00:12:39,246
Thank you so much.
God, you know, you're right.
242
00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:42,082
What am I doing frittering away
my day here in this coffee house?
243
00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:45,295
You know what? I've got things to do.
I've got fresh worlds to conquer.
244
00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:47,589
I'm gonna go out there
and grab life by the scruff.
245
00:12:47,673 --> 00:12:49,551
Look out, destiny, here I come.
246
00:12:49,717 --> 00:12:51,052
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
247
00:12:51,678 --> 00:12:55,516
Oh, well, it's really
coming down out there. It's…
248
00:12:59,563 --> 00:13:02,231
What happened to your clothes?
Did you spill something on you?
249
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,900
Oh, no, no, I'm going jogging later.
250
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:08,030
No need to be sarcastic. Just give
me the clothes and I'll do another load.
251
00:13:08,197 --> 00:13:09,450
No, I'm serious, Daphne.
252
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:12,216
I plan to go running just
after I finish my obituary.
253
00:13:13,704 --> 00:13:15,664
You see, it's a self-actualizing exercise.
254
00:13:15,748 --> 00:13:17,625
You see, you write your obituary
255
00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:19,795
the way you'd like it to
appear years from now,
256
00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:22,464
of course, and then it helps
you to focus your goals.
257
00:13:22,548 --> 00:13:25,302
You see?
Here they are, all my hopes and dreams.
258
00:13:25,469 --> 00:13:27,846
These are dreams, all right.
259
00:13:29,514 --> 00:13:32,018
"Dr. Crane came late to athletics.
260
00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:34,688
"He became a fixture
in the Seattle Marathon,"
261
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,523
"the America's Cup yacht race,"
262
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,443
as well as the Kentucky Derby."
263
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:45,326
A jockey, at your size? You better
start writing an obituary for the horse.
264
00:13:46,035 --> 00:13:49,038
Very amusing, Daphne.
I meant as a stable owner.
265
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:52,096
Hey, Fras. What'd you do,
spill something on your clothes?
266
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:53,934
No, no, I'm going jogging later.
267
00:13:54,127 --> 00:13:56,477
Well, there's no need
to get sarcastic about it.
268
00:13:56,797 --> 00:14:00,497
I'm serious, Dad. I'll have to start
somewhere if I plan to run a marathon.
269
00:14:00,677 --> 00:14:04,389
Oh! We got a new basket? Hickory Farms.
270
00:14:04,556 --> 00:14:06,768
Yes, that one came this afternoon.
271
00:14:06,935 --> 00:14:10,147
We agreed we were gonna send
back all the condolence baskets intact.
272
00:14:10,231 --> 00:14:12,031
Yeah, I know, I know, but, you know,
273
00:14:12,191 --> 00:14:15,529
if a can of pecans falls out here
and there, who's gonna notice?
274
00:14:15,737 --> 00:14:17,864
Oh, by the way, guess who I ran into?
275
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,131
That friend of yours
from next door, Regan.
276
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,203
-Really?
-MARTIN: Yeah.
277
00:14:22,411 --> 00:14:24,746
She was pretty relieved
to hear you weren't dead.
278
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,041
I don't know, maybe
there's still something there.
279
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:30,921
I don't know, Dad. I'd like to believe
that, but I'm just too much of a realist.
280
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,131
[DOORBELL RINGS]
281
00:14:32,298 --> 00:14:35,301
Tell that to the two million people
a year who visit Frasier land.
282
00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:37,179
[DAPHNE LAUGHING]
283
00:14:37,513 --> 00:14:39,431
FRASIER: It's a website.
284
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,726
It teaches children about psychiatry.
285
00:14:42,477 --> 00:14:43,769
-MARTIN: Oh, hi.
-Hey, Dad.
286
00:14:43,853 --> 00:14:47,232
I can't stay. I just realized, I think
I left my cell phone here last night.
287
00:14:47,316 --> 00:14:49,866
Oh, yeah, I did see it somewhere.
Let's have a look.
288
00:14:50,111 --> 00:14:51,988
Oh. Why are you wearing running clothes?
289
00:14:52,072 --> 00:14:53,865
He won't tell us.
290
00:14:54,783 --> 00:14:55,994
DAPHNE: Oh, here it is.
291
00:14:56,202 --> 00:14:58,454
It was buried back here
underneath all these baskets.
292
00:14:58,538 --> 00:15:00,415
Oh, Daph, look what you did.
293
00:15:00,582 --> 00:15:01,792
Rooting around in there,
294
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:05,963
you poked a hole right through
this Hickory Farms basket.
295
00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:09,634
You can't send it back now.
296
00:15:11,094 --> 00:15:12,346
Thank you, Daphne.
297
00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:13,973
-FRASIER: Niles?
-Yes.
298
00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:15,974
Is that bandage
sticking out of your shirt?
299
00:15:16,058 --> 00:15:18,061
-Oh, where?
-Well, right there.
300
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,355
Oh, yes, I cut myself shaving.
301
00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:23,109
What? On the back of your neck?
302
00:15:23,985 --> 00:15:26,822
You went to see
Karnofsky again, didn't you?
303
00:15:27,031 --> 00:15:29,825
Yes, I did.
I was going to ask her out again,
304
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:34,581
but I got all flustered when I caught
her staring at this grotesque carbuncle.
305
00:15:34,789 --> 00:15:36,959
Carbuncle?
You mean that minuscule mole of yours?
306
00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:39,419
To you.
I've always been self-conscious about it.
307
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,353
I've made many a hasty wine selection
308
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:43,884
because I felt the
sommelier staring down at it.
309
00:15:44,051 --> 00:15:46,595
Oh, Niles, please.
Why don't you just knock this off?
310
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,479
Isn't it time you ask the woman out?
311
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,643
Frasier, I'm just waiting
until the moment's right.
312
00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,520
Like you did with Daphne?
313
00:15:53,937 --> 00:15:56,482
Oh, Niles, I am sorry. It's just that
314
00:15:56,690 --> 00:16:00,153
I'd like to see you do this while I
can still pick you out of a crowd.
315
00:16:02,907 --> 00:16:06,076
I've got tickets for the opera tonight.
Why don't you ask her to join you?
316
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,455
-Oh, I don't know.
-FRASIER: Oh, come on.
317
00:16:08,997 --> 00:16:11,833
Take a cue from me.
I am completely reinventing myself.
318
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,339
You know what, if I can learn a
new language and climb mountains
319
00:16:16,506 --> 00:16:19,217
and write a bestseller, then
surely you can ask this woman out.
320
00:16:19,301 --> 00:16:22,847
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have a marathon to train for. Oh!
321
00:16:24,391 --> 00:16:26,559
MARTIN: Are you all right, Fras?
322
00:16:26,726 --> 00:16:28,396
FRASIER: I'm fine.
323
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:29,772
MARTIN: What happened?
324
00:16:29,939 --> 00:16:31,732
I think he tripped on
one of these baskets.
325
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,943
-MARTIN: Did you break anything?
-FRASIER: I don't think so.
326
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:38,574
Because if you broke it, there's no
point in sending this one back either.
327
00:16:53,718 --> 00:16:55,219
Oh, dear God.
328
00:16:55,386 --> 00:16:58,140
-Hey, look at you.
-Oh…
329
00:16:58,348 --> 00:16:59,850
Oh, they gave you a sweet one.
330
00:17:00,016 --> 00:17:04,772
All shiny, no scuffs.
It still has that new-cane smell.
331
00:17:04,939 --> 00:17:06,274
[MARTIN LAUGHING]
332
00:17:06,649 --> 00:17:10,863
If you play your cards right, I might let
you take it for a spin around the lobby.
333
00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,157
-So, what'd they say?
-Oh, just a little sprain.
334
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,160
It's gonna take a couple of weeks.
335
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,413
You know, I guess I'm gonna
have to rethink my life's plan a bit.
336
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:21,292
Oh, you're gonna be doing all this stuff?
337
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:23,642
Well, of course, Dad. Why wouldn't I?
338
00:17:23,754 --> 00:17:26,715
Oh, I don't know.
It just seems all so complicated,
339
00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:29,093
and the first one you
tried was kind of a bust.
340
00:17:29,177 --> 00:17:32,180
Yes. All right, well, you know what?
I've just got to, uh,
341
00:17:32,346 --> 00:17:34,767
scale things back a little bit.
342
00:17:34,933 --> 00:17:37,352
Set my sights on more attainable goals.
343
00:17:37,561 --> 00:17:39,147
Oh, for instance, here.
344
00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:43,652
"Visit South America." That's in.
345
00:17:44,028 --> 00:17:47,072
"Discover the lost treasure of the Incas."
346
00:17:49,618 --> 00:17:51,495
That's out.
347
00:17:52,746 --> 00:17:56,209
"Take up rafting." That's in.
348
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,921
"Retrace Lewis and Clark's route."
349
00:18:00,172 --> 00:18:01,924
That's out.
350
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:06,179
And this perpetual motion
stuff, all this can go.
351
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:08,348
[DOORBELL RINGS]
352
00:18:08,515 --> 00:18:10,865
-Daphne?
-No, she's out for the whole evening.
353
00:18:11,018 --> 00:18:13,645
-You're gonna have to get it yourself.
-Oh, all right.
354
00:18:13,729 --> 00:18:16,858
MARTIN: Come on, let's see
how that thing handles the corners.
355
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:19,445
Come on, open her up.
356
00:18:22,657 --> 00:18:25,911
Frasier, I'd like you to
meet Dr. Mel Karnofsky.
357
00:18:26,078 --> 00:18:28,622
-I can't tell you what pleasure this is.
-Hello.
358
00:18:28,831 --> 00:18:30,666
NILES: You have some opera tickets for us.
359
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:31,793
FRASIER: Yes, I do.
360
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,962
Oh, Mel, this is my father, Martin.
361
00:18:34,128 --> 00:18:35,422
-Oh, hello.
-Hi, how are you?
362
00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:37,174
-FRASIER: Here we are.
-Oh, thank you.
363
00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:41,008
We're very grateful for this. Niles
and I happen to be huge fans of Puccini.
364
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:44,015
Oh, speaking of which,
here's our own little "pooch-ini."
365
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:48,312
Oh, well, you're a darling.
366
00:18:48,479 --> 00:18:52,442
Yes. Oh, he's wonderful.
367
00:18:56,948 --> 00:18:58,616
So where are you two having dinner?
368
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:01,036
Bel Canto. We have a table on the terrace.
369
00:19:01,245 --> 00:19:03,914
The terrace?
I didn't know they had a terrace.
370
00:19:04,081 --> 00:19:08,211
Really? I guess you have to know
the owner. But we better be going.
371
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:10,214
I pre-ordered our chocolate soufflés
372
00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:12,090
and they'll be ready at 7:30 precisely.
373
00:19:12,174 --> 00:19:13,724
FRASIER: Well, off you go then.
374
00:19:13,843 --> 00:19:15,053
Just remember, Niles,
375
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,473
nothing puts on love handles
faster than chocolate soufflé.
376
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,729
Oh, well, you know, no one
takes them off faster than I do.
377
00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:24,564
[FRASIER CHUCKLING]
378
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,693
That was very funny.
It was lovely meeting you.
379
00:19:28,944 --> 00:19:32,949
-Well, she seems a bit much.
-What do you mean?
380
00:19:33,199 --> 00:19:36,662
Well, you know, picking the
restaurant, dining on the terrace.
381
00:19:36,829 --> 00:19:40,459
"You have to know the owner."
Doesn't she remind you of someone?
382
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,669
Yeah, you.
383
00:19:45,381 --> 00:19:46,716
I was talking about Maris.
384
00:19:46,883 --> 00:19:49,552
Oh, come on. Don't you think
you're overreacting a little bit?
385
00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:51,186
I mean, Niles sure seems happy.
386
00:19:51,347 --> 00:19:52,847
Oh, I guess you're right, Dad.
387
00:19:52,932 --> 00:19:55,477
Besides, I've got a lot to
accomplish this evening.
388
00:19:55,644 --> 00:19:57,895
I'm going to start on my
Russian language tapes.
389
00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,606
[MARTIN CHUCKLES]
390
00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:02,777
-What? What is it, Dad?
-What? Nothing?
391
00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:04,987
What?
Don't you think I can do any of these?
392
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,949
No, I think you can do anything
you put your mind to, Frasier.
393
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:09,284
You always have.
394
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:13,581
-Thank you, Dad.
-I just wonder about all these projects.
395
00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:16,293
Well, as I said, I am streamlining.
396
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:18,128
I think what you discovered this week
397
00:20:18,212 --> 00:20:20,422
was that something's
missing from your life.
398
00:20:20,631 --> 00:20:23,634
And before you start to fill it up
with everything but the kitchen sink,
399
00:20:23,718 --> 00:20:26,263
I think you ought to just ask yourself:
400
00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:28,391
"What do I really want?
401
00:20:28,557 --> 00:20:31,103
"What is really gonna make me happy"
402
00:20:31,812 --> 00:20:33,271
now?"
403
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,404
Well, that's weird.
404
00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:42,574
I suddenly feel like having a beer.
405
00:21:19,910 --> 00:21:22,456
Regan, it's me, Frasier.
406
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,275
[INAUDIBLE DIALOG]