1
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,533
-Hey, morning, Fras.
-Hi, Roz.

2
00:00:12,743 --> 00:00:14,912
Roz, is baby Alice
dressed as a little turkey,

3
00:00:14,996 --> 00:00:17,666
or am I just very, very hungry?

4
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:20,630
We're flying home for
Thanksgiving right after the show.

5
00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:23,800
I thought I'd make Alice look
cute so if she cries on the plane,

6
00:00:23,884 --> 00:00:27,054
the other passengers can't get mad.
What I'd like to do is keep her awake

7
00:00:27,138 --> 00:00:29,600
-so she'll sleep on the plane.
-Do what I used to do.

8
00:00:29,684 --> 00:00:32,855
I used to tell the passengers that if
Frederick cried, I'd buy them a drink.

9
00:00:32,939 --> 00:00:34,566
-And that worked?
-Oh, yes.

10
00:00:34,775 --> 00:00:36,652
In fact, one time I
awoke from a short nap,

11
00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:40,408
and the fellow sitting behind us was
flicking the back of Frederick's ear.

12
00:00:40,616 --> 00:00:43,566
Of course, that was cheating.
The man did not get his drink.

13
00:00:43,662 --> 00:00:45,412
So when is Frederick coming anyway?

14
00:00:45,498 --> 00:00:47,334
Oh, Lilith's dropping him off around noon,

15
00:00:47,418 --> 00:00:50,868
and then she's off to visit a colleague
for Thanksgiving in Vancouver.

16
00:00:50,965 --> 00:00:54,218
Come to think of it, do they even
celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada?

17
00:00:54,302 --> 00:00:56,722
They will when she leaves.

18
00:01:03,691 --> 00:01:05,067
[DOORBELL RINGS]

19
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:06,611
[FOOTSTEPS]

20
00:01:07,487 --> 00:01:09,907
-Hi, Dad.
-Frederick. Hi.

21
00:01:10,117 --> 00:01:11,767
-Hello, Frasier.
-FRASIER: Hello.

22
00:01:11,869 --> 00:01:14,288
I was starting to worry about you.
You're an hour late.

23
00:01:14,372 --> 00:01:17,522
We saw a big accident on the freeway.
Mom saved this guy's life.

24
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,421
-Really?
-LILITH: That's going a bit far.

25
00:01:19,505 --> 00:01:20,923
I simply applied a tourniquet.

26
00:01:21,007 --> 00:01:24,178
-She's a hero.
-Yes, that's your mother, all right, son.

27
00:01:24,387 --> 00:01:28,017
And then the paramedics came
and wanted to give Mom a transfusion.

28
00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:31,229
Yes, that's your mother, all right, son.

29
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:34,401
If you don't mind, I'd like to use
the phone and call my colleague

30
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:36,404
-and tell him I'll be late.
-FRASIER: Of course.

31
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:37,905
Who is this colleague anyway?

32
00:01:37,989 --> 00:01:40,159
He's the man who
supplies me with lab rats.

33
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,286
It's about time we got together socially.

34
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:45,500
I've known him for over 52 generations.

35
00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:49,380
Well, if the drumsticks are
about this big, you'll know why.

36
00:01:49,589 --> 00:01:51,634
-Good one, Dad.
-Thank you, son.

37
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,178
Hello, Peter, it's Lilith.

38
00:01:53,386 --> 00:01:55,848
Listen, I'm running
about an hour late, so I…

39
00:01:56,807 --> 00:01:59,520
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

40
00:01:59,896 --> 00:02:01,439
Well, take care of yourself.

41
00:02:01,606 --> 00:02:03,359
Okay. Goodbye.

42
00:02:03,526 --> 00:02:06,571
-What's happened?
-Peter's come down with something.

43
00:02:06,738 --> 00:02:08,532
He thinks he caught it from the rats.

44
00:02:08,616 --> 00:02:12,580
Nobody got anything from a rat that
wasn't resolved in a day. Off you go.

45
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:16,794
Hey, Mom, why don't you
spend Thanksgiving with us?

46
00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:19,006
Yes, that's a very good one, Frederick.

47
00:02:19,215 --> 00:02:21,927
Now, go kiss your mother
goodbye and unpack, all right?

48
00:02:25,515 --> 00:02:28,520
Would it be that unbearable
for me to be here for one meal?

49
00:02:28,687 --> 00:02:31,232
As soon as we're done,
I'll go check into a hotel.

50
00:02:31,399 --> 00:02:33,652
I can spend the weekend
working on an article.

51
00:02:33,819 --> 00:02:36,069
Well, you know Niles
is coming this afternoon,

52
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,241
and it would be very
uncomfortable, I think.

53
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,745
You two haven't seen each
other since your little tryst.

54
00:02:40,829 --> 00:02:43,082
Oh, please. Niles and I are adults.

55
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,919
I suppose you're right.

56
00:02:46,086 --> 00:02:48,464
It would mean a lot to Frederick.

57
00:02:48,673 --> 00:02:51,594
After all, Thanksgiving is
a time to celebrate family.

58
00:02:51,802 --> 00:02:52,846
[DOORKNOB JIGGLING]

59
00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,642
-Come in.
-Is the witch gone yet?

60
00:03:01,024 --> 00:03:03,193
Lilith's still here, Dad.

61
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:06,824
Oh. In that case, I'll ask you too.

62
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:09,870
Look, has my twitch gone yet?

63
00:03:10,037 --> 00:03:11,789
I had some strong coffee this morning…

64
00:03:11,873 --> 00:03:13,667
Skillfully done, Martin.

65
00:03:15,753 --> 00:03:20,593
-Grandpa.
-Freddy. How you doing?

66
00:03:21,053 --> 00:03:22,846
So, Dad, is Mom staying for dinner?

67
00:03:23,055 --> 00:03:24,515
Yes, Frederick, I am.

68
00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:26,769
Isn't that great, Grandpa?

69
00:03:26,935 --> 00:03:30,650
Great, Freddy. Real great.

70
00:03:30,816 --> 00:03:33,070
Isn't that great, Freddy?

71
00:03:33,528 --> 00:03:36,282
-Are you okay, Grandpa?
-He's worried about his twitch.

72
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:37,701
[DOORBELL RINGS]

73
00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:42,291
-DAPHNE: Come on, Eddie, come on.
-What's the matter?

74
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:45,045
He was perfectly fine until
about a block from here.

75
00:03:45,253 --> 00:03:47,548
Then he started whining and trembling.

76
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,680
It's like he senses an
earthquake or a dark force or…

77
00:03:52,764 --> 00:03:55,476
Hello, Lilith… a vortex of evil.

78
00:03:56,853 --> 00:03:59,148
Here. Here, let me have him.
Come on, I'll take him.

79
00:03:59,232 --> 00:04:00,733
Yeah, it's okay. Come on, boy.

80
00:04:00,942 --> 00:04:05,073
That's all right. Don't worry.
There's nothing to be scared of.

81
00:04:05,532 --> 00:04:09,037
-I'll help with the groceries.
-Hey, Freddy. Thank you.

82
00:04:09,454 --> 00:04:11,624
Well, let's see how the turkey's coming.

83
00:04:11,999 --> 00:04:13,585
Yes, Daphne's preparing dinner.

84
00:04:13,794 --> 00:04:15,963
Oh, should we tell her
there's an extra person?

85
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,632
[POTS CLATTERING]

86
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:20,929
No need.

87
00:04:21,096 --> 00:04:22,557
[DOORBELL RINGS]

88
00:04:25,227 --> 00:04:27,564
-Hello, Frasier.
-Niles.

89
00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:29,441
-Hello, Lilith.
-Hello, Niles.

90
00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:32,070
-Lovely to see you again.
-Nice to see you too.

91
00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:33,987
I trust your flight was uneventful.

92
00:04:34,072 --> 00:04:35,532
Up, down, bumpy over the mountains.

93
00:04:35,616 --> 00:04:37,995
Isn't that always the way?

94
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,247
Lilith is joining us for dinner, Niles.

95
00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:42,417
-What a nice surprise.
-It certainly is for me.

96
00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:45,756
-Well, not as nice as it is for me.
-Oh, stop it, both of you.

97
00:04:48,134 --> 00:04:50,262
I refuse to listen to
this stilted chatter.

98
00:04:50,429 --> 00:04:52,348
Well, how would you have us behave?

99
00:04:52,515 --> 00:04:54,393
Try going back to
your former relationship.

100
00:04:54,477 --> 00:04:57,147
-All we did was insult each other.
-FRASIER: Yes.

101
00:04:57,355 --> 00:05:01,105
You're willing to throw that because
of one ill-considered night of passion?

102
00:05:01,695 --> 00:05:05,200
It happened. Take from it
what you can learn and move on.

103
00:05:06,243 --> 00:05:08,121
Well…

104
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:12,335
I learned if you kiss her too fast,
you get an ice cream headache.

105
00:05:21,473 --> 00:05:24,478
You also learned that I have
twice your upper body strength,

106
00:05:24,645 --> 00:05:26,355
so shut your pie-hole.

107
00:05:27,899 --> 00:05:29,902
Was that so hard?

108
00:05:32,072 --> 00:05:35,493
-Hey, wait, wait. What are you doing?
-I'm mashing the potatoes.

109
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,871
By hand? You're supposed to whip potatoes.

110
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,832
That way, every bite tastes the same.

111
00:05:39,916 --> 00:05:41,366
Well, isn't that a bit bland?

112
00:05:41,544 --> 00:05:45,131
Hello? Welcome to potatoes.

113
00:05:46,926 --> 00:05:50,473
Could you just once cook a
traditional Thanksgiving meal?

114
00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:52,684
I mean, look at this cranberry sauce.

115
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:56,189
It's supposed to keep
the shape of the can.

116
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,443
Quiver a little bit.
What are all these little chunks in there?

117
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,071
Those are cranberries.

118
00:06:01,405 --> 00:06:04,242
Dad, here you are.
One frozen pumpkin pie, as requested.

119
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:07,497
Honestly. Wouldn't you rather
I just bake a pie from scratch?

120
00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:11,879
Is it that you can't
learn or you won't learn?

121
00:06:12,713 --> 00:06:14,299
I'm done setting the table.

122
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,010
Oh, you did set the table.
It looks very nice. Very elegant.

123
00:06:17,094 --> 00:06:19,222
Oh, yes, Freddy's been
quite the little helper.

124
00:06:19,306 --> 00:06:22,056
Every time I bend over to
check the turkey, there he is.

125
00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,985
So tell me about this
article you're writing.

126
00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:30,319
FREDERICK: It's about me.

127
00:06:30,529 --> 00:06:31,990
Essentially, yes.

128
00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:35,202
I was talking to a friend who works
at <i>The New York Times Magazine</i>

129
00:06:35,286 --> 00:06:37,247
about raising a child after divorce.

130
00:06:37,414 --> 00:06:39,250
And she pointed out
that, as a psychiatrist,

131
00:06:39,334 --> 00:06:40,919
I might have a unique perspective.

132
00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:45,760
You know, since it's about me,
shouldn't I get something for it?

133
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,804
You're not getting a minibike.

134
00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:49,932
-But, Mom…
-We have talked about this.

135
00:06:50,016 --> 00:06:51,601
You can get one when you're 15.

136
00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:53,478
But all my friends have minibikes.

137
00:06:53,562 --> 00:06:57,234
Yes, and if all of your friends decided
to enter a level-four biohazard area

138
00:06:57,318 --> 00:06:59,529
without their environmental
containment suits,

139
00:06:59,613 --> 00:07:00,948
would you do that too?

140
00:07:01,156 --> 00:07:03,993
-This is different.
-No, it's not.

141
00:07:04,203 --> 00:07:06,038
-Dad.
-Sorry, Frederick,

142
00:07:06,205 --> 00:07:07,707
I'm with your mother on this one.

143
00:07:07,791 --> 00:07:10,962
-Dinner's almost ready.
-Excuse me.

144
00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:17,721
You know what I think, Dad? You and
Mom should write this article together.

145
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,433
Well, I'm sure your mother
can write it without my help.

146
00:07:20,517 --> 00:07:21,686
But it was her idea.

147
00:07:22,353 --> 00:07:24,689
She told me on the plane
how much easier it would be.

148
00:07:24,773 --> 00:07:27,360
I just don't think she
knows how to ask you.

149
00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:29,530
It is an intriguing idea.

150
00:07:29,697 --> 00:07:32,367
MARTIN: Frasier, I could
use some help out here.

151
00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:34,734
He's picking the
raisins out of the stuffing.

152
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,668
All right, coming, Dad.

153
00:07:41,672 --> 00:07:44,801
You know, I think you and Dad
should write this article together.

154
00:07:44,885 --> 00:07:49,851
Together? I think the last thing your
father wants is to collaborate with me.

155
00:07:50,018 --> 00:07:54,357
It was his idea.
He just told me how much fun it would be.

156
00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:56,819
Well, it's an interesting notion.

157
00:07:56,986 --> 00:07:59,239
Beautiful job carving
that turkey, Dr. Crane.

158
00:07:59,406 --> 00:08:02,076
Well, I picked up a thing
or two in medical school.

159
00:08:03,579 --> 00:08:04,704
In case you're wondering,

160
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:07,538
this bird appears to have
died of a massive head trauma.

161
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,797
Did you wash your hands, Frederick?

162
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,175
Yeah. Uncle Niles even
showed me how to open the door

163
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,346
with my elbow so I don't
need to touch the handle.

164
00:08:16,972 --> 00:08:18,558
What are uncles for?

165
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,811
Daphne, is your fiancé joining us?

166
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,354
No, I'll be seeing him later.

167
00:08:22,438 --> 00:08:24,440
Donny has his own Thanksgiving tradition.

168
00:08:24,524 --> 00:08:27,821
He has a dinner for all the divorced
men he's represented during the year.

169
00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:29,406
He's hosting 25 today.

170
00:08:29,615 --> 00:08:32,369
Wow. Twenty-five lonely, bitter men.

171
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,205
It's been a good year.

172
00:08:37,293 --> 00:08:39,593
Uncle Niles, Mom's
writing an article about me.

173
00:08:40,255 --> 00:08:41,256
Really?

174
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:43,259
It's about raising a child after divorce.

175
00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:45,512
FRASIER: Yes, it sounds
fascinating, doesn't it?

176
00:08:45,596 --> 00:08:48,141
It's a subject that's very near
and dear to my own heart.

177
00:08:48,225 --> 00:08:50,770
Are you suggesting we collaborate?

178
00:08:50,937 --> 00:08:52,480
If you think I might be helpful.

179
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:54,818
What a great idea.
You can write it together.

180
00:08:55,026 --> 00:08:56,320
I'd be willing.

181
00:08:56,487 --> 00:08:59,187
Well, we certainly did well
on our first collaboration.

182
00:08:59,324 --> 00:09:02,619
You know, we could probably get most
of it done in the time you're still here.

183
00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:05,249
And if she stayed here, you
can finish the whole thing.

184
00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:08,295
Well, I guess it would be all right by me.

185
00:09:08,462 --> 00:09:10,757
Daphne, would that be
too much of an imposition?

186
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:13,302
Not at all.
I'll be spending the weekend with Donny.

187
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,597
Now where is your father with that gravy?

188
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,767
Well, then I'll stay here.

189
00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:20,228
Although, maybe we
should run this by your father.

190
00:09:20,312 --> 00:09:22,399
[POTS CLATTERING]

191
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:27,156
No need.

192
00:09:38,129 --> 00:09:40,048
Yes, but I think we should have something

193
00:09:40,132 --> 00:09:42,260
about non-custodial
parents and discipline.

194
00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:46,975
Exactly. The weekend father
need not be a weakened father.

195
00:09:47,142 --> 00:09:48,269
[LILITH CHUCKLES]

196
00:09:48,436 --> 00:09:52,859
Frasier, you still have a
direct line to my funny bone.

197
00:09:53,776 --> 00:09:55,362
Thank goodness the line wasn't busy.

198
00:09:55,446 --> 00:09:59,994
Oh, now stop. If we laugh all
night, we'll never get any work done.

199
00:10:00,203 --> 00:10:01,662
[MUSIC, GUNSHOTS ON TV]

200
00:10:01,829 --> 00:10:03,040
[KNOCKS]

201
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,502
Hey, Frederick, I'm leaving. I just…

202
00:10:06,669 --> 00:10:09,089
-What you doing?
-I'm saving the universe.

203
00:10:09,256 --> 00:10:10,800
Do you wanna help?

204
00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:12,511
I wouldn't know where to begin.

205
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,640
It's easy. I'll show you.

206
00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:17,060
-All right, what do I do?
-That's your guy.

207
00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:21,148
You've escaped from an intergalactic
maximum-security prison pod.

208
00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:23,401
Like they could hold me.

209
00:10:24,028 --> 00:10:26,928
Now, once you leave this
chamber, you can go left or right,

210
00:10:27,074 --> 00:10:28,534
and different things will happen.

211
00:10:28,618 --> 00:10:29,827
Okay.

212
00:10:29,994 --> 00:10:31,538
[MAN SCREAMS]

213
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,708
What happened?

214
00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:38,465
Wow.
I never saw the guy trip and fall before.

215
00:10:39,466 --> 00:10:41,886
Try it again. You have two lives left.

216
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,515
[MAN SCREAMS]

217
00:10:44,848 --> 00:10:48,813
I can't seem to get out of this room.
Is this some sort of advanced level?

218
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,692
No, this is, like, the training area.

219
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,572
I didn't even know you could die here.

220
00:10:58,159 --> 00:10:59,662
[MAN SCREAMS]

221
00:11:00,705 --> 00:11:02,332
I have to get out of this room.

222
00:11:02,499 --> 00:11:05,085
The reset button's on the right.
You want something to drink?

223
00:11:05,169 --> 00:11:06,714
Quiet.

224
00:11:08,132 --> 00:11:10,343
-Hi, Dad.
-Oh, hi, son.

225
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:13,260
-How's the writing?
-It's coming along nicely. Thanks.

226
00:11:13,724 --> 00:11:17,312
Oh, Mom wants to know if
you'd bring out a little wine.

227
00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:19,356
Oh, all right.

228
00:11:19,523 --> 00:11:22,360
You know, it's great to see
you and Mom working together.

229
00:11:22,527 --> 00:11:24,739
-I think she kind of misses you.
-Really?

230
00:11:25,114 --> 00:11:27,284
Yeah, she talks about you all the time.

231
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:29,051
You know, how wonderful you are,

232
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,570
and how she's never
met another man like you.

233
00:11:32,499 --> 00:11:35,546
You go take that out to her.
I'll finish up in here.

234
00:11:36,047 --> 00:11:38,175
Thank you, son.

235
00:11:41,721 --> 00:11:43,766
There you are.

236
00:11:43,932 --> 00:11:45,810
-Oh. Well, thank you.
-Mm-hm.

237
00:11:45,977 --> 00:11:49,649
I've been rearranging this outline.
Why don't you take a look?

238
00:11:49,941 --> 00:11:50,984
Looks fine.

239
00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:54,030
Frasier, you can't see it from there.
Sit down.

240
00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:59,579
You know, I'm really
enjoying this collaboration.

241
00:11:59,663 --> 00:12:00,998
Me too.

242
00:12:01,165 --> 00:12:03,628
Is it me or is it getting warm?

243
00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:06,215
It is a little warm.

244
00:12:06,423 --> 00:12:09,386
MARTIN: All right, boy, I'm coming.

245
00:12:09,594 --> 00:12:11,764
-I'm coming.
-FRASIER: You know, Dad,

246
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:14,142
-let me walk you out.
-MARTIN: Okay.

247
00:12:14,226 --> 00:12:16,646
There's something I
wanna discuss with you.

248
00:12:16,813 --> 00:12:21,111
Oh, you know, I've never seen him
so eager to take a walk. I wonder what…

249
00:12:21,319 --> 00:12:23,239
Oh, right.

250
00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:28,037
Hey, Mom. How's the article going?

251
00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:29,957
-Very well, thank you.
-You know,

252
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,836
-I've never seen Dad this happy.
-Oh?

253
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:37,384
-What do you mean?
-Well, all he does is talk about you.

254
00:12:37,551 --> 00:12:40,972
How pretty you look,
and how smart you are,

255
00:12:41,682 --> 00:12:44,310
and how much he misses you.

256
00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:48,755
What makes you think
she's coming on to you?

257
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,986
Well, actually, Frederick told me.

258
00:12:51,195 --> 00:12:53,155
But you know it actually
makes sense, I mean,

259
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,742
this colleague of hers
gets mysteriously ill,

260
00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:57,745
then she lassos me into writing with her.

261
00:12:57,829 --> 00:13:00,792
Then all of a sudden, the bun is
off, she's waggling a bare shoulder.

262
00:13:00,876 --> 00:13:03,838
Oh, please, some of
us just had a big meal.

263
00:13:05,173 --> 00:13:06,216
[KNOCKS]

264
00:13:06,383 --> 00:13:09,095
It's not your turn yet.
I still have two more lives.

265
00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:10,389
It's Lilith.

266
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,266
[MAN SCREAMS]

267
00:13:14,186 --> 00:13:16,105
I need to talk to you.

268
00:13:16,314 --> 00:13:18,733
-Does the door have to be closed?
-I think it's best.

269
00:13:18,817 --> 00:13:21,112
It's of a personal nature.

270
00:13:21,279 --> 00:13:24,951
-What's this about?
-Well, it's about an attraction

271
00:13:25,118 --> 00:13:29,208
that I thought was over, and now
I'm beginning to think maybe it's not.

272
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:33,505
Usually in my dreams, this
is where I try to run and can't.

273
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,219
This isn't about you, you egomaniac.

274
00:13:37,385 --> 00:13:38,930
This is about Frasier.

275
00:13:39,096 --> 00:13:41,517
I think he wants us together again.

276
00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:46,023
-He knows how I feel about you.
-Not us. Me and Frasier.

277
00:13:46,398 --> 00:13:48,777
Is there a chair here I could talk to?

278
00:13:48,944 --> 00:13:50,403
[MAN SCREAMS]

279
00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:55,494
What makes you think he
wants you to get back together?

280
00:13:55,578 --> 00:13:59,875
Well, first he offers to
collaborate on this article.

281
00:14:00,043 --> 00:14:01,503
Now he's plying me with wine.

282
00:14:01,670 --> 00:14:03,755
At this moment, I suspect
he's asking your father

283
00:14:03,839 --> 00:14:05,425
to clear out for the night.

284
00:14:06,093 --> 00:14:08,512
So he took a professional
interest in your article,

285
00:14:08,596 --> 00:14:10,724
and he offered you some
wine on Thanksgiving.

286
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,228
Now who's the egomaniac?

287
00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,566
Perhaps I am overreacting.

288
00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:20,738
I'll just have to keep my eyes
peeled for more conclusive evidence.

289
00:14:20,905 --> 00:14:23,952
I didn't know there was a door there.

290
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,955
Then again, maybe I've just made
this whole thing up in my head.

291
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:28,165
Tell you what, Dad,

292
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:31,170
take a minute and then come back in.

293
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,005
See what you think's going on in there,

294
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,425
and then find some subtle
way to tell me what you think.

295
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:37,554
All right. Okay. Just give me a minute.

296
00:14:40,475 --> 00:14:43,605
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

297
00:15:05,886 --> 00:15:06,929
Frasier.

298
00:15:07,138 --> 00:15:08,765
Lilith.

299
00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:11,436
Well, isn't this nice?

300
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:14,482
Yes, very nice.

301
00:15:15,399 --> 00:15:16,985
Oh, excuse me again.

302
00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:19,752
I just came back to get
an umbrella in case it rains.

303
00:15:19,864 --> 00:15:21,033
But I hope it doesn't

304
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,995
because Eddie's just dying to
play this new game I taught him.

305
00:15:24,079 --> 00:15:27,750
I take off his leash, and
I say, "Run for your life."

306
00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:31,005
That's exactly what I
say, "Run for your life."

307
00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:33,425
-Thank you, Dad.
-Okay.

308
00:15:33,592 --> 00:15:35,512
Run for your life.

309
00:15:37,138 --> 00:15:39,851
-Frasier, we have to talk.
-Yes, Lilith, we do.

310
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:44,273
I mean, I can't just sit here all night
waiting for you to make your move.

311
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:47,612
Well, you've just got this
all worked out, haven't you?

312
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:52,661
Well, let's see. Candlelight, wine,
soft music. What else do I need?

313
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,955
I don't know what's worse,
that you want me back,

314
00:15:55,039 --> 00:15:56,750
or that you think I
could be won so easily.

315
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:59,087
Wait, you think I'm responsible for this?

316
00:15:59,295 --> 00:16:02,257
You assume you snap your fingers
and old Frasier will come a-running?

317
00:16:02,341 --> 00:16:03,926
I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way.

318
00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:06,889
First of all, I have to be finessed.

319
00:16:08,851 --> 00:16:11,354
I didn't do any of this.
And if you didn't either,

320
00:16:11,563 --> 00:16:14,525
then someone is setting us up.

321
00:16:14,859 --> 00:16:16,570
But who…

322
00:16:17,864 --> 00:16:18,906
Frederick.

323
00:16:20,242 --> 00:16:23,079
He told me that you've been pining for me.

324
00:16:23,288 --> 00:16:25,750
He just told me the same about you.

325
00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:28,587
Good Lord.

326
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,175
Here we are writing an article on
taking your child through a divorce,

327
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:36,389
and our own son is nursing a hopeless
fantasy that we'll get back together.

328
00:16:36,681 --> 00:16:38,181
We've got to go talk with him.

329
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:40,812
No, wait a minute.
Something is not right here.

330
00:16:40,979 --> 00:16:45,444
When has Frederick ever expressed
the slightest desire to see us together?

331
00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:47,446
He could have been
sublimating it for years.

332
00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:49,867
Even so, he lied to both of us.

333
00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:52,036
He had to have known
that we'd compare notes.

334
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,270
All right, so his plan
was a little artless.

335
00:16:54,415 --> 00:16:57,419
Unless that's exactly what he wanted.

336
00:16:57,753 --> 00:16:59,463
-What do you mean?
-Think about it.

337
00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:01,797
He makes us believe
that he wants us together.

338
00:17:01,926 --> 00:17:04,637
Of course, we have to tell him
that that's not going to happen.

339
00:17:04,721 --> 00:17:07,810
His hopes are dashed, and we
feel so guilty that we compensate

340
00:17:08,018 --> 00:17:10,855
by getting him something he wants.

341
00:17:11,272 --> 00:17:12,608
A minibike?

342
00:17:12,817 --> 00:17:15,654
That's a very clever little boy we have.

343
00:17:15,987 --> 00:17:17,837
God, could he actually be so devious?

344
00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:19,993
Oh, well, if he wants
something badly enough,

345
00:17:20,077 --> 00:17:21,786
he will figure out a way to get it.

346
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:25,876
Remember when he was a baby,
the bottle at the end of the maze?

347
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,804
You know, I kind of regret doing that.

348
00:17:35,515 --> 00:17:37,100
-Frederick.
-What are you gonna do,

349
00:17:37,184 --> 00:17:40,146
-just come out and ask him?
-No, of course not. He'll only deny it.

350
00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:41,940
-What then?
-Just go with me on this.

351
00:17:42,024 --> 00:17:43,651
-All right.
-Frederick, have a seat.

352
00:17:43,735 --> 00:17:46,406
-We need to talk to you.
-What about?

353
00:17:47,198 --> 00:17:50,035
We know that you've been
trying to maneuver us together,

354
00:17:50,244 --> 00:17:54,000
and it's only natural for a
child of divorce to want that.

355
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,544
Generally speaking, your
plan would be fruitless.

356
00:17:56,628 --> 00:17:59,507
But when your father
and I let down our guard

357
00:17:59,674 --> 00:18:01,510
and looked at each
other in the candlelight,

358
00:18:01,594 --> 00:18:04,180
we realized that we belong together.

359
00:18:04,347 --> 00:18:06,142
In other words,

360
00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:08,729
we're getting remarried.

361
00:18:10,899 --> 00:18:12,359
Do you really mean it?

362
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:17,825
This is gonna be the best Christmas ever.

363
00:18:17,909 --> 00:18:20,454
I'm gonna go tell Uncle Niles.

364
00:18:22,498 --> 00:18:25,336
-Have you lost your mind?
-He's cooler than I thought.

365
00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:27,797
Cooler? This isn't a game of poker.

366
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:31,929
This is our son being
lied to by his parents.

367
00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:34,765
We've got to go in, tell him
the truth, and make it up to him

368
00:18:34,849 --> 00:18:38,229
-even if it takes a fleet of minibikes.
-No, no, no, Frasier. No.

369
00:18:38,396 --> 00:18:40,148
See, we called his bluff.

370
00:18:40,357 --> 00:18:43,528
Now he's calling ours.
The question is, what's our next move?

371
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:47,701
I know. Why don't we just consult this
handy little guide for divorced parents?

372
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,667
We can't blink first.
We've got to up the ante.

373
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:54,334
Good idea, Lilith. Let's go in there

374
00:18:54,418 --> 00:18:56,868
and promise him the baby
brother he'll never have.

375
00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:06,728
What's this joyous news I hear?

376
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:12,111
You know, Frederick, you're going
to have to give up all of your friends

377
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:14,488
because we're going
to live here in Seattle.

378
00:19:14,572 --> 00:19:17,535
I'd live anywhere to be a family again.

379
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,873
So it is true.
Congratulations to you both.

380
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,667
Good night.

381
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:25,503
Don't you want your coat, Uncle Niles?

382
00:19:25,587 --> 00:19:27,590
NILES: No, thank you.

383
00:19:27,924 --> 00:19:30,011
I'm going to go call my friends.

384
00:19:31,972 --> 00:19:34,017
I love you.

385
00:19:34,809 --> 00:19:36,937
I don't understand. I was so sure.

386
00:19:37,104 --> 00:19:39,607
Oh, gee, don't be so
tough on yourself, Lilith.

387
00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:43,030
After all, what parent
doesn't at one time or another

388
00:19:43,196 --> 00:19:45,032
completely obliterate
their child's chances

389
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:47,494
of ever trusting another human being?

390
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:54,003
Oh, well, there he is,

391
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:58,259
telling his friends that all
his dreams have come true.

392
00:19:58,426 --> 00:20:00,846
Unless that's what he wants us to think.

393
00:20:01,055 --> 00:20:03,058
When will you stop?

394
00:20:03,224 --> 00:20:04,726
FREDERICK [OVER SPEAKER]: <i>It worked.</i>

395
00:20:04,810 --> 00:20:07,355
<i>All I did was tap into my
parents' feelings of inadequacy,</i>

396
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,566
<i>-and they crumbled.</i>
-BOY: <i>What does that mean?</i>

397
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:12,029
FREDERICK: <i>I'm getting the minibike.</i>

398
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:16,368
-Frederick?
-FREDERICK: <i>Uh-oh.</i>

399
00:20:16,535 --> 00:20:18,163
[PHONE HANGS UP]

400
00:20:19,122 --> 00:20:22,627
Do I know my son or do I know my son?

401
00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:26,674
He was willing to put us through
absolute hell just for a minibike?

402
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,258
You know what this means.

403
00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:30,344
Yes, he's normal. We're not bad parents.

404
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:34,603
-Well done, Dr. Stern in.
-Well done, Dr. Crane.

405
00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:41,988
-Well, we really should get in there.
-Yes, I suppose we should.

406
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:45,243
It must be sheer torment for
him, waiting for the axe to fall.

407
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:48,705
-Absolute hell.
-An absolute nightmare.

408
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,460
-Wine?
-Love some.