1 00:00:01,182 --> 00:00:03,184 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 2 00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:09,690 NARRATOR: Previously on Frasier: 3 00:00:09,774 --> 00:00:13,402 There is no reason this can't be connected to some submerged anxiety. 4 00:00:13,486 --> 00:00:14,536 What's bothering you? 5 00:00:14,779 --> 00:00:18,074 The only women in my life are friends. Roz and Daphne. 6 00:00:18,158 --> 00:00:20,743 Daphne's not even here anymore. She'll be married soon. 7 00:00:20,827 --> 00:00:22,913 It's been nice having her here. 8 00:00:24,164 --> 00:00:25,916 I really do love Daphne. 9 00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:32,547 It's about Dr. Crane. I overheard him say he's in love with me. 10 00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:36,009 -Jeez, not this. -You knew about this? 11 00:00:36,093 --> 00:00:39,470 Look, I kept my mouth shut for six years. I'm not saying anything now. 12 00:00:39,554 --> 00:00:43,767 Of course I love you, Daphne. But as a friend, that's all. 13 00:00:44,226 --> 00:00:47,854 When I said to your father, "Dr. Crane's in love with me," 14 00:00:47,938 --> 00:00:52,442 he said it's been going on for six years now. What did he mean by that? 15 00:00:52,526 --> 00:00:55,822 He meant Niles. He's crazy about you. 16 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:04,622 Oh, good Lord, Dad, you've been tinkering with that thing for hours. 17 00:01:04,706 --> 00:01:07,916 Don't you think maybe Dancing Santa could sit this Christmas out? 18 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,502 Oh, I gotta get him ready for your big party tomorrow night. 19 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:11,712 [DOORBELL RINGS] 20 00:01:11,796 --> 00:01:15,132 Oh, no need, Dad. There'll be plenty of things to delight my guests. 21 00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:17,176 We'll be caroling and playing games. 22 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:20,179 Oh, and I'll be reading A Child's Christmas in Wales 23 00:01:20,263 --> 00:01:23,307 -to bring the evening to a close. -Well, that should do it. 24 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:25,893 -Hey, Frasier. -Oh, hello, Roz. 25 00:01:25,977 --> 00:01:27,604 -Hey, Martin. I can't stay. -MARTIN: Hi, Roz. 26 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,481 I stopped by to drop off your punch bowl. 27 00:01:29,565 --> 00:01:32,692 Well, thank you, Roz. Say, what kind of punch did you serve? 28 00:01:32,776 --> 00:01:34,778 Well, first I filled it with ice. 29 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,781 Then I just poured orange juice and vodka over it. 30 00:01:38,157 --> 00:01:41,034 Well, Roz, that's just a giant screwdriver. 31 00:01:41,577 --> 00:01:42,952 Yeah. 32 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,622 So, what am I, Martha Stewart? 33 00:01:46,665 --> 00:01:50,126 Fine. Thanks, anyway. I'm gonna be needing this bowl tomorrow evening. 34 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,087 There's gonna be a crowd of guests. 35 00:01:52,171 --> 00:01:55,715 I've invited the entire building, including Cam Winston. 36 00:01:55,799 --> 00:01:58,468 In the spirit of Christmas, I've decided to end our feud. 37 00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,761 What are you feuding about? 38 00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:02,473 Well, he parks his SUV right next to Frasier's Beemer. 39 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:05,643 Yes, well, that car is grotesquely oversized. 40 00:02:06,019 --> 00:02:08,854 I've often been forced to exit from the passenger side. 41 00:02:08,938 --> 00:02:13,067 Many a time, I've been brought to grief on my gearshift. 42 00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:16,320 -Why doesn't he just back in? -Are you kidding? 43 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:20,366 He can barely hit that space even when the guy's car isn't there. 44 00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:23,452 -Hi, Roz. -ROZ: Hey, Daphne. 45 00:02:23,536 --> 00:02:25,413 -Bye, guys. -FRASIER: Goodbye, Roz. 46 00:02:25,497 --> 00:02:26,747 -You leaving? -ROZ: Yeah. 47 00:02:26,831 --> 00:02:29,709 Actually, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. 48 00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:32,753 What is it? 49 00:02:32,837 --> 00:02:34,004 The other day, 50 00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:37,049 I found out something about Dr. Crane I wasn't supposed to know. 51 00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,428 -Frasier? -No, his brother. 52 00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:42,347 Apparently, he's had a crush on me for years. 53 00:02:42,431 --> 00:02:43,557 [GASPS] 54 00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,476 -Thank God. -What do you mean, "Thank God"? 55 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,979 I've been afraid I'd be the one to blow the secret. 56 00:02:49,063 --> 00:02:50,313 You mean you knew? 57 00:02:50,397 --> 00:02:53,608 -Well, everybody kind of did. -What? And nobody said anything? 58 00:02:53,692 --> 00:02:57,070 Well, if Niles wasn't ready to say anything, it wasn't our place to do it. 59 00:02:57,154 --> 00:02:59,406 Who spilled the beans? It was Frasier, wasn't it? 60 00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:01,825 -Yeah, he doesn't know he told me. -He doesn't? 61 00:03:01,909 --> 00:03:04,202 No, he was on those painkillers for his back, and… 62 00:03:04,286 --> 00:03:08,331 Well, I can't very well discuss it with Dr. Crane. He's so close to Dr. Crane. 63 00:03:08,415 --> 00:03:10,167 If I told him, he might tell Dr. Crane, 64 00:03:10,251 --> 00:03:12,712 and then Dr. Crane might feel embarrassed. 65 00:03:13,296 --> 00:03:15,799 Yeah. Why confuse things? 66 00:03:16,758 --> 00:03:18,801 The whole thing's just a bit awkward. 67 00:03:18,885 --> 00:03:20,511 I don't see why. 68 00:03:20,595 --> 00:03:24,015 Niles has a girlfriend now, so obviously he's gotten over you, 69 00:03:24,099 --> 00:03:26,642 and you're engaged to Donny. 70 00:03:26,726 --> 00:03:29,854 I suppose when you look at it like that, there's no reason to feel awkward. 71 00:03:29,938 --> 00:03:31,314 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 72 00:03:31,982 --> 00:03:34,901 Well, there's a Christmas tableau: naughty and nice. 73 00:03:36,903 --> 00:03:38,946 -Hello, Dr. Crane. -Hello, Daphne. 74 00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:41,867 I'd see you inside, but I just have to… 75 00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:44,160 Take out the garbage. 76 00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:47,122 It's in my pockets. 77 00:03:52,587 --> 00:03:53,712 Morning, everyone. 78 00:03:53,796 --> 00:03:54,838 -Hey, Niles. -Hello. 79 00:03:54,922 --> 00:03:57,382 Frasier, I brought those caroling books you asked for. 80 00:03:57,466 --> 00:04:01,762 Thank you so much. Oh, yes, here we are. 81 00:04:01,846 --> 00:04:04,515 Preferred Songs from a Victorian Christmas 82 00:04:04,599 --> 00:04:09,312 and Elizabethan Tidings of Joy. Now we're ready to party. 83 00:04:09,979 --> 00:04:12,689 So, Niles, what do you think? Should we start with the caroling 84 00:04:12,773 --> 00:04:16,673 or should we hold off until we've played a spirited game of The Minister's Cat? 85 00:04:17,486 --> 00:04:19,571 Start with the game, then the caroling, 86 00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:21,782 then the guests will be ready for another game. 87 00:04:21,866 --> 00:04:23,911 Yeah, Russian Roulette. 88 00:04:26,622 --> 00:04:28,164 Yes, well, I'm off. 89 00:04:28,248 --> 00:04:30,458 Oh, Niles, if you're not busy this evening, 90 00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:32,794 perhaps you could help me string popcorn garlands. 91 00:04:32,878 --> 00:04:34,712 Unfortunately, I have to see Maris tonight. 92 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,090 Maris? What the hell do you have to see her for? 93 00:04:37,174 --> 00:04:38,800 Sadly, to pay my condolences. 94 00:04:38,884 --> 00:04:42,470 It seems our old gardener has passed away unexpectedly. 95 00:04:42,554 --> 00:04:45,932 Oh, not Yoshi. Gosh, that's too bad. 96 00:04:46,016 --> 00:04:50,228 He had a heart attack when he was out trimming Maris' hedge maze. 97 00:04:50,979 --> 00:04:53,065 -The paramedics never had a chance. -No. 98 00:04:55,609 --> 00:04:57,278 Well, I feel bad about Yoshi, 99 00:04:57,362 --> 00:04:59,989 but you sure it's a good idea spending the evening with Maris? 100 00:05:00,073 --> 00:05:03,409 Well, she's terribly upset. Maris and Yoshi were very close. 101 00:05:03,493 --> 00:05:06,912 In fact, I remember he once made a topiary likeness of her 102 00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:09,999 and wept without shame when it developed root rot. 103 00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:15,838 Well, the problem is I have to cancel on Mel tonight. 104 00:05:15,922 --> 00:05:18,257 FRASIER: Oh, really? Well, Niles, if you want my advice, 105 00:05:18,341 --> 00:05:21,302 -I wouldn't mention Maris to Mel. -What? 106 00:05:21,386 --> 00:05:25,390 The last thing a girlfriend wants to hear is that you're consoling your ex-wife. 107 00:05:25,974 --> 00:05:29,852 Well, I hate to lie to Mel, although I do see your point, Frasier. 108 00:05:29,936 --> 00:05:32,147 Hey. There he goes. 109 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:33,940 [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING] 110 00:05:34,024 --> 00:05:37,736 -Dad, Santa's back. -Yeah, it's the darnedest thing. 111 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:40,322 Every year when I take him out, something's wrong with him. 112 00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:44,284 -But I always manage to fix him again. -NILES: Well, good for you, Dad. 113 00:05:44,368 --> 00:05:46,578 -I told you to dunk it underwater. -I did. 114 00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:56,379 -[MUSIC PLAYING] -[PEOPLE CHATTERING] 115 00:05:56,463 --> 00:05:59,382 -KENNY: Hey, Doc. Merry Christmas. -Oh, hi, Kenny. 116 00:05:59,466 --> 00:06:03,428 My, the station has certainly outdone itself this year with the 117 00:06:03,512 --> 00:06:05,055 Christmas-in-Mexico theme. 118 00:06:06,515 --> 00:06:10,353 It was my idea. It hit me when I realized their salsas are red and green. 119 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,480 Ah. Well, 120 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,607 that's why you're the boss. 121 00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:18,235 Hey, Frasier, what time's your party tonight? 122 00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:21,155 Shh! Keep your voice down. You're the only one here I've invited. 123 00:06:21,239 --> 00:06:23,074 -The only one? -Yes. 124 00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:25,826 There'll be scads of people. I invited everyone in my building. 125 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:27,996 -Seven o'clock. -Okay. 126 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:30,915 -Oh, Gil. Merry Christmas. -And to you, Frasier. 127 00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,584 -Oh, thank you. -I hope you saved room for dessert. 128 00:06:33,668 --> 00:06:36,087 -Have you been baking? -I have. 129 00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:42,136 -Gingerbread men. -Oh, my, don't they look… muscular. 130 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,639 Yes. Well, the wife and I made a New Year's resolution. 131 00:06:45,723 --> 00:06:48,642 Deb and I have joined a gym to slim down and buff up. 132 00:06:48,726 --> 00:06:51,395 -We made these to inspire us. -Ah, yes. 133 00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:56,066 Nothing strengthens a dieter's resolve like a good motivational pastry. 134 00:06:56,150 --> 00:07:00,404 Precisely. Problem is they're so delicious I've already had three. 135 00:07:01,572 --> 00:07:03,908 This is my last little man, I promise. 136 00:07:05,409 --> 00:07:08,746 Mm. Oh, Gil, who are you kidding? 137 00:07:10,372 --> 00:07:11,916 No one, Gil. 138 00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:15,168 Frasier. 139 00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:16,420 -Mel. -Hello. 140 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,798 Well, gosh, I never expected to see you here. 141 00:07:18,882 --> 00:07:21,676 Oh, well, I was one of the doctors on Health Chat 142 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:26,514 during Cosmetic Surgery Week. I did a segment on breast augmentation. 143 00:07:26,598 --> 00:07:28,141 How uplifting. Ha-ha-ha! 144 00:07:30,143 --> 00:07:33,563 Yes. Well, Niles is hanging up our coats. 145 00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:35,481 Did you two have a good dinner last night? 146 00:07:35,565 --> 00:07:37,984 Oh, no, no, actually, we didn't have dinner last night. 147 00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:39,861 I was busy planning my party, but please, 148 00:07:39,945 --> 00:07:43,072 don't mention that to any of my colleagues. They're not invited. 149 00:07:43,156 --> 00:07:44,866 Mel? 150 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:47,910 Frasier, glad I saw you. About last night, if Mel should ask… 151 00:07:47,994 --> 00:07:49,287 Oh, dear. 152 00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:50,663 -Oh, no. -Oh, yes. 153 00:07:50,747 --> 00:07:52,375 -And you… -I'm afraid so. 154 00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:56,795 Damn you. You're the one that told me to lie to her and now you've failed 155 00:07:56,879 --> 00:07:59,089 -to back me up. -I'm a little preoccupied. 156 00:07:59,173 --> 00:08:01,759 I'm having a party tonight for 200 people. 157 00:08:04,512 --> 00:08:06,347 Well, I won't lie to you, Doc. 158 00:08:06,973 --> 00:08:08,307 This hurts. 159 00:08:11,853 --> 00:08:15,397 I'm terribly sorry. Mel, darling, please come here, darling, sweetheart. 160 00:08:15,481 --> 00:08:17,775 -Niles. Niles. -I know you're upset, but listen… 161 00:08:17,859 --> 00:08:19,193 Please, we're at a party. 162 00:08:19,277 --> 00:08:21,445 All right, you're right. We'll talk about it later. 163 00:08:21,529 --> 00:08:25,158 No, no, no, we'll talk about it now. Just put on your party face. 164 00:08:26,659 --> 00:08:27,952 Don't embarrass me. 165 00:08:28,036 --> 00:08:31,831 As if I could be further embarrassed after you lied to me. 166 00:08:31,915 --> 00:08:34,793 -I can explain. -No, no, no, you don't need to. 167 00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:38,004 When a man lies about where he's been, it's not hard to guess the reason. 168 00:08:38,088 --> 00:08:40,090 So, what's the little whore's name? 169 00:08:42,092 --> 00:08:43,843 No, no, no, darling, the reason I told you 170 00:08:43,927 --> 00:08:47,222 that I was dining with Frasier was, actually, I was out… 171 00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:49,057 Yes? 172 00:08:49,141 --> 00:08:51,726 Getting your Christmas present. 173 00:08:51,810 --> 00:08:53,061 My present? 174 00:08:53,145 --> 00:08:56,982 Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I should've known. 175 00:08:58,066 --> 00:09:00,235 I'm so glad you're forgiving me. 176 00:09:00,903 --> 00:09:03,072 Or is that your party face? 177 00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:06,534 Oh, no, no, no, of course not, darling. 178 00:09:06,618 --> 00:09:08,369 So why don't you hang my coat back up? 179 00:09:08,453 --> 00:09:10,621 -Okay. -And I'll get us something to drink. 180 00:09:10,705 --> 00:09:12,207 Of course. 181 00:09:13,374 --> 00:09:15,501 Oh, Mel, this is awkward. 182 00:09:15,585 --> 00:09:19,547 Oh, no, no, no, Frasier. Niles explained everything, 183 00:09:19,631 --> 00:09:23,592 and while I don't like being lied to, I do appreciate why he did it. 184 00:09:23,676 --> 00:09:26,137 -FRASIER: Oh, I'm so glad. -Ooh, hello. 185 00:09:27,472 --> 00:09:29,682 Hello. Chatting, are we? 186 00:09:29,766 --> 00:09:34,353 Actually, I was just apologizing for my part in your little misunderstanding. 187 00:09:34,437 --> 00:09:36,188 Then you were discussing the present. 188 00:09:36,272 --> 00:09:40,861 Oh, yes, yes, the present. And the future. Maris is all in the past. 189 00:09:42,988 --> 00:09:44,823 -Maris? -Oh, dear. 190 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:49,536 You were with Maris last night. 191 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,789 -Well… -How dare you? 192 00:09:53,290 --> 00:09:55,334 Anything else in the box, Pandora? 193 00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:01,965 -Mel, please. -Oh, no, don't touch me. No. 194 00:10:02,049 --> 00:10:05,677 -Party face, party face. -Oh, no, forget the party face. 195 00:10:05,761 --> 00:10:08,305 You're obviously still in love with her, 196 00:10:08,847 --> 00:10:13,477 and I'm not about to share you, so goodbye. 197 00:10:13,561 --> 00:10:17,190 -FRASIER: Niles, Niles, I'm so sorry. -Oh, Frasier, don't pretend to be sorry. 198 00:10:17,274 --> 00:10:19,984 All you care about is your party that you're hosting tonight. 199 00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:21,486 Well, I… 200 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,085 [PIANO PLAYING "JINGLE BELLS"] 201 00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,004 Okay, honey, get ready. 202 00:10:40,088 --> 00:10:41,756 [DONNY LAUGHING] 203 00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:44,092 Don't be nervous. 204 00:10:45,302 --> 00:10:48,264 Okay, bring it on home, Daphne. 205 00:10:48,764 --> 00:10:52,810 Yes! Daphne Moon, everybody. 206 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,979 -FRASIER: Brava! -Okay, we're taking requests. 207 00:10:56,063 --> 00:10:57,940 How about a little "Silent Night"? 208 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:01,735 -FRASIER: Oh, stop that. -What? 209 00:11:01,819 --> 00:11:03,070 Those are for the party. 210 00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:05,614 In case you haven't noticed, I am the party. 211 00:11:05,906 --> 00:11:08,700 Yeah, Frasier, didn't the invitation say 7:00? 212 00:11:08,784 --> 00:11:11,411 -I hope people knew it was for tonight. -They'll be here. 213 00:11:11,495 --> 00:11:14,748 They're probably just fashionably late. People do love to make an entrance. 214 00:11:14,832 --> 00:11:16,291 [DOORBELL RINGS] 215 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:20,004 Aha! Daphne, open the floodgates. 216 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,343 NILES: Hello. 217 00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:28,930 Evening, Dr. Crane. Isn't Mel with you? 218 00:11:29,014 --> 00:11:31,516 No, she won't be coming. We broke up. 219 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,143 -What? -NILES: Yeah, this afternoon. 220 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,980 -Oh, goodness, I'm so sorry. -Did you try to call her, Niles? 221 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,439 Oh, I left a dozen messages. 222 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:41,484 Oh, Niles, I'm so sorry. How long were you guys together? 223 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:45,196 Oh, not that long. Still, I was optimistic. 224 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,950 Well, did you talk about moving in together? Made any long-term plans? 225 00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:51,784 This is really bringing out the lawyer in you, isn't it? 226 00:11:53,121 --> 00:11:56,165 The bartender. I was just wondering how big a drink to make you. 227 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,711 Ah. Big. Scotch. 228 00:11:58,795 --> 00:12:02,298 All right, come on, don't worry, Niles. We'll fix you up with somebody. 229 00:12:02,382 --> 00:12:05,884 Thanks. I don't think this is the time for me to be meeting someone new. 230 00:12:05,968 --> 00:12:09,638 Someone old, then, you know. An old flame. An ex-girlfriend. 231 00:12:09,722 --> 00:12:11,391 Someone who got away, huh? 232 00:12:12,141 --> 00:12:15,686 There must have been somebody you had your eye on before Mel. 233 00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:19,189 Donny, please. Can't you see you're making him uncomfortable? 234 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:22,026 What? I was just trying to help. Honey? 235 00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:25,655 See, Niles, it's not us, it's the holidays. It makes women crazy. 236 00:12:32,037 --> 00:12:34,415 [ELEVATOR WHIRRING] 237 00:12:35,249 --> 00:12:36,374 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 238 00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:39,878 Ha, ha! Hello, everyone, come in. Come in. 239 00:12:39,962 --> 00:12:42,047 Oh, yes, that's very nice there. Ladies first. 240 00:12:42,131 --> 00:12:45,384 All right, now, no crowding, no pushing. 241 00:12:48,762 --> 00:12:52,265 -Where are they going? -I've got bad news for you. 242 00:12:52,349 --> 00:12:55,018 That feud you were having with the guy upstairs? It isn't over. 243 00:12:55,102 --> 00:12:58,396 -He's having his own party. -Damn him! 244 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:02,442 He's siphoning off my guests. You know, you won't believe this. 245 00:13:02,526 --> 00:13:06,363 That dreadful Cam Winston is having a competing party. 246 00:13:06,447 --> 00:13:10,117 That's what that was. Saw a big sign in the lobby, "Winston Party 2000." 247 00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:15,414 Yes. That's his apartment number. Well, two can play at that game. 248 00:13:15,498 --> 00:13:16,624 -Donny? -DONNY: Yeah? 249 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:19,418 Do me a favor, will you? Make me one of those signs. 250 00:13:19,502 --> 00:13:21,796 See what you can fashion out of these crude implements. 251 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,714 -DONNY: Okay, I'll try. -MARTIN: I don't know 252 00:13:23,798 --> 00:13:25,591 -if that's a good idea. -Why? 253 00:13:25,675 --> 00:13:29,053 Well, "Winston Party 2000" sounds like the party of the future. 254 00:13:29,137 --> 00:13:31,931 "Crane Party 1901," you know, 255 00:13:33,099 --> 00:13:36,269 sounds like, well, this. 256 00:13:36,769 --> 00:13:38,270 I wouldn't worry about it, Frasier. 257 00:13:38,354 --> 00:13:41,691 You always throw a good party. This place'll be hopping in no time. 258 00:13:41,775 --> 00:13:43,027 FRASIER: Thanks, Roz. 259 00:13:43,652 --> 00:13:46,030 Hey, Connie? It's a morgue here. 260 00:13:47,364 --> 00:13:50,033 Is the party at the station still happening? 261 00:13:50,117 --> 00:13:52,411 Great. I'll be there as soon as I can. 262 00:13:53,329 --> 00:13:55,789 -Oh, hey, Daphne. -You're not gonna believe this. 263 00:13:55,873 --> 00:13:59,543 -Dr. Crane broke up with Mel. -Oh, yeah, I know. I heard. 264 00:13:59,627 --> 00:14:02,505 Is there anything you don't know before I do? 265 00:14:02,796 --> 00:14:05,090 I overheard them at the office Christmas party. 266 00:14:05,174 --> 00:14:09,177 -Really? What happened? -Well, okay, don't freak out. 267 00:14:09,261 --> 00:14:12,161 Mel accused Niles of still being in love with someone else. 268 00:14:12,306 --> 00:14:15,725 -Oh, my God, that's me. I'm someone. -I said not to freak out. 269 00:14:15,809 --> 00:14:17,603 But what if he says something to me? 270 00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:21,023 -Just let him down gently. -Oh, it never works out that easily. 271 00:14:21,107 --> 00:14:23,234 You know what happens when you say no to a guy. 272 00:14:23,318 --> 00:14:25,111 Yeah, sure. 273 00:14:27,781 --> 00:14:29,198 It just gets messy after that. 274 00:14:29,282 --> 00:14:32,743 You say you'll be friends, but you never are. It ruins everything. 275 00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:34,537 He's not gonna say anything tonight. 276 00:14:34,621 --> 00:14:36,664 As long as Donny's here, you're totally safe. 277 00:14:36,748 --> 00:14:38,833 FRASIER: Let's find a prominent place to put this. 278 00:14:38,917 --> 00:14:42,671 Preferably, right on top of Winston's sign. 279 00:14:43,046 --> 00:14:44,630 Oh, go easy there, Niles. 280 00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:46,841 Oh, haven't you given me enough advice for one day? 281 00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:48,050 [BELL DINGS] 282 00:14:48,134 --> 00:14:49,594 My canapés. 283 00:14:49,678 --> 00:14:51,930 You know, Niles, you look like you need cheering up. 284 00:14:52,014 --> 00:14:53,932 Oh, no. Oh, no. 285 00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:55,350 Sorry. 286 00:14:55,434 --> 00:14:58,020 -Oh, Daphne's present. -Did it break? 287 00:14:59,438 --> 00:15:01,732 [GLASS CLINKING] 288 00:15:02,024 --> 00:15:04,610 Well, we won't know till she opens it. 289 00:15:05,695 --> 00:15:09,698 I'm sorry. But, hey, look, you don't need this one for Mel, do you? 290 00:15:09,782 --> 00:15:12,032 -Well, I guess not. -Well, okay. Well, here. 291 00:15:12,201 --> 00:15:15,704 Switch that in there, put this right here. Problem solved. 292 00:15:15,788 --> 00:15:17,873 FRASIER: All right, you two, I don't want everyone 293 00:15:17,957 --> 00:15:21,085 congregating in the kitchen. Now, go out and mingle. 294 00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:26,256 Niles, Martin. I didn't see you come in. 295 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:31,888 Roz. Daphne. Well, I didn't wanna give these out in front of all the guests, 296 00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:34,140 but since there aren't any, here we go. 297 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:37,435 -Roz, this is for you. Daphne, here. -ROZ: Niles. 298 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,686 Merry Christmas. 299 00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:40,688 Oh, Merry Christmas. Thank you, Dr. Crane. 300 00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:42,023 -Thank you. -Oh, excuse me. 301 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,525 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 302 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,901 Hello? 303 00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:51,408 -Oh, no, it's jewelry. -Oh, no, it's a book. 304 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,913 My God, there must be a hundred people up there. 305 00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:59,707 Well, I'll just show you what you're missing. 306 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,545 Savory lamb tenders. 307 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,840 Pesto-filled mushroom caps. 308 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,217 Smell them and weep. 309 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:12,012 Come on, come on, Frasier, maybe we ought to walk you back inside. 310 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,807 -Oh, Dad. -All right. There you go. 311 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:18,770 Yes. Yes, darling, that's wonderful. I'll see you soon. 312 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,481 -That was Mel. -And? 313 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,275 I managed to explain about Yoshi. She's on her way over. 314 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,360 -Oh, thank God. -I know. 315 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:27,945 Another guest. 316 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,532 It's also wonderful for you, Niles. Congratulations. 317 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,742 Well, there is one minor detail to be ironed out. 318 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,705 I also got a message from Maris. She wants to see me again. 319 00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:40,333 I think she may have mistaken last night's sympathy for affection. 320 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,961 Oh, my. Well, Niles, if you want my advice… 321 00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:45,631 You know, you really need to stop saying that. 322 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:49,009 You've got to make your feelings clear to her, the sooner the better. 323 00:16:49,093 --> 00:16:51,470 There's little point in letting it drag on. 324 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,845 You're right. I'll speak to her tonight. 325 00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:57,058 At the moment, I just wanna patch things up with Mel. 326 00:16:57,142 --> 00:17:00,642 Those antique earrings you bought her should go a long way toward that. 327 00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:04,024 -I gave them to Daphne. -You did what? 328 00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:07,736 Daphne's gift broke and I didn't think Mel was coming. 329 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:12,325 -Dad suggested I switch the gift cards. -Oh, Dad and his meddling. 330 00:17:12,409 --> 00:17:13,909 Well, if you want my advice… 331 00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,288 You know where to find me. 332 00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:21,959 -DAPHNE: Roz. -What? 333 00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:23,377 -You can't go. -Why not? 334 00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:27,048 Daphne? I'm sorry to interrupt. I need to speak with you. 335 00:17:27,799 --> 00:17:29,426 It's a private matter. 336 00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:31,886 Would you join me on the balcony for a moment? 337 00:17:31,970 --> 00:17:33,847 -All right. -Thank you. 338 00:17:35,598 --> 00:17:37,850 Whoa. He's gonna tell you. 339 00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:42,063 Oh, no, not tonight. Not while Donny's here. Oh, Roz. 340 00:17:42,397 --> 00:17:44,398 Okay, so I was wrong. 341 00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:46,902 Boy, this is rough. What are you gonna do? 342 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:48,571 I don't know. 343 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:52,324 I guess I won't give him the chance. 344 00:17:52,408 --> 00:17:54,868 I'll speak first. I'll just be direct. 345 00:17:54,952 --> 00:17:57,079 I'll tell him I know how he feels about me, 346 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,206 but I don't feel that way about him. 347 00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:02,918 I love Donny, and nothing's gonna happen between us. 348 00:18:03,502 --> 00:18:05,755 Good luck. 349 00:18:10,468 --> 00:18:12,594 -Hi. -Daphne. 350 00:18:12,678 --> 00:18:15,055 I wish there were an easier way to say this. I… 351 00:18:15,139 --> 00:18:18,601 Wait, I have something that I'd like to say first. 352 00:18:19,477 --> 00:18:22,522 Dr. Crane, I have to tell you that… 353 00:18:24,024 --> 00:18:28,695 Oh, Daphne, I am so sorry. What am I thinking? Here. 354 00:18:29,154 --> 00:18:31,072 -Well, thank you. -You're welcome. 355 00:18:33,366 --> 00:18:35,160 Anyway, Dr. Crane, 356 00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:38,288 I know that… 357 00:18:39,998 --> 00:18:41,041 Yes? 358 00:18:42,584 --> 00:18:44,252 I'm sorry, I… 359 00:18:46,379 --> 00:18:48,798 -Look, why don't I start? -No, Dr. Crane. 360 00:18:48,882 --> 00:18:51,718 No, no, I really need to say this. I can't wait any longer. Daphne? 361 00:18:51,802 --> 00:18:53,345 Yes? 362 00:18:54,095 --> 00:18:56,891 -This is so difficult for me. -Yes. 363 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,771 I need my Christmas present back. 364 00:19:02,647 --> 00:19:04,106 You what? 365 00:19:05,358 --> 00:19:11,613 People will go almost anywhere for free food and booze. 366 00:19:11,697 --> 00:19:13,908 Am I really so insufferable? 367 00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:17,494 I could call the station and see if people wanna come over. 368 00:19:17,578 --> 00:19:20,330 Oh, yes, Roz, let's call in the second-string guests. 369 00:19:20,414 --> 00:19:24,585 Let's fill my home with a bunch of angry, snubbed co-workers. 370 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,964 Do you think they'd come? 371 00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:32,552 -DONNY: Oh, hi, Merry Christmas. -FRASIER: Oh, you see? 372 00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:36,181 Fashionably late. Hello, everyone. Come in. Merry Christmas. 373 00:19:36,265 --> 00:19:37,974 Help yourself to some drinks. 374 00:19:38,058 --> 00:19:40,059 Okay, how'd you get these people down here? 375 00:19:40,143 --> 00:19:42,270 I just called an old buddy in the fire department, 376 00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:45,231 told him that many people in one place had to be a code violation. 377 00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:47,942 Aren't there gonna be the same number of people down here? 378 00:19:48,026 --> 00:19:50,487 All right, everyone, we'll start by singing some carols, 379 00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:53,198 and then we'll choose up teams for The Minister's Cat. 380 00:19:53,282 --> 00:19:55,909 I don't think that's gonna be a problem. 381 00:19:57,661 --> 00:20:02,457 I feel terrible about this, and of course I'll replace the gift. 382 00:20:02,541 --> 00:20:08,006 Oh, that's all right. Well, I won't be needing this anymore. 383 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:13,291 Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, you never finished what you were going to say. 384 00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,221 Oh, well, 385 00:20:16,097 --> 00:20:17,765 it was about the gift. 386 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:21,519 Well, I could see from the box you got me jewelry from Beadie and Sons, 387 00:20:21,603 --> 00:20:24,230 and I didn't get you anything nearly as grand. 388 00:20:25,106 --> 00:20:27,233 Well, doesn't matter now. 389 00:20:28,943 --> 00:20:33,781 -Oh, Mel. She's here. -Yes. Excuse me. 390 00:20:39,162 --> 00:20:41,707 I'm so glad you came. 391 00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:44,918 Merry Christmas. 392 00:20:45,002 --> 00:20:46,670 Merry Christmas. 393 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:52,342 -So how'd it go? Did you tell him? -I never got the chance. 394 00:20:52,426 --> 00:20:56,096 He went first. Turns out he'd just given me the wrong gift and wanted it back. 395 00:20:56,180 --> 00:20:59,349 You're kidding. You must be so relieved. 396 00:20:59,433 --> 00:21:02,394 Oh, I'll say. I've never been so relieved in my life. 397 00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:05,355 FRASIER: All right, everyone, we'll start with an easy one. 398 00:21:05,439 --> 00:21:06,940 [PIANO PLAYING] 399 00:21:07,024 --> 00:21:09,609 ALL: ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 400 00:21:09,693 --> 00:21:11,945 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la ♪ 401 00:21:12,029 --> 00:21:14,656 ♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪ 402 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,118 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la, la ♪ 403 00:21:17,202 --> 00:21:19,871 ♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪ 404 00:21:19,955 --> 00:21:22,123 ♪ Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la ♪ 405 00:21:24,626 --> 00:21:25,668 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 406 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:28,326 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 407 00:21:28,410 --> 00:21:30,631 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 408 00:21:30,715 --> 00:21:32,092 Oh, my. 409 00:21:32,717 --> 00:21:34,886 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 410 00:21:34,970 --> 00:21:37,638 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 411 00:21:37,722 --> 00:21:39,765 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 412 00:21:39,849 --> 00:21:41,434 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 413 00:21:41,518 --> 00:21:44,896 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 414 00:21:45,814 --> 00:21:48,524 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 415 00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:50,443 Happy holidays, everybody!