1 00:00:01,172 --> 00:00:03,174 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 2 00:00:08,597 --> 00:00:13,768 -Oh, hey, Frasier. -Oh, hello, Roz. Happy New Year. 3 00:00:13,852 --> 00:00:15,478 Or should I say Happy New Millennium? 4 00:00:15,562 --> 00:00:18,606 Oh, barf. I'm so sick of talking about it. 5 00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:20,274 Let's not condemn the new millennium 6 00:00:20,358 --> 00:00:22,861 just because you woke up in it with a hangover. 7 00:00:24,112 --> 00:00:25,905 That's what ruined church for you. 8 00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:28,491 Decaf latte, please. 9 00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:32,412 I hate how this arbitrary point on the calendar has become so significant. 10 00:00:32,829 --> 00:00:35,581 And as far as my hangover went, it was worth it. 11 00:00:35,665 --> 00:00:39,461 I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey. 12 00:00:41,087 --> 00:00:43,130 I see. Well, allow me to congratulate you 13 00:00:43,214 --> 00:00:44,924 on your first science-related metaphor. 14 00:00:45,008 --> 00:00:46,217 Thank you. 15 00:00:47,093 --> 00:00:50,471 And you? Get all freaky and list the century's greatest thinkers? 16 00:00:50,555 --> 00:00:54,267 No. My New Year's was plenty exciting enough, thank you very much, 17 00:00:54,351 --> 00:00:57,979 although not exactly in a way I'd planned. 18 00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:02,192 Cancel the millennium. Chez Henri has burned down. 19 00:01:02,609 --> 00:01:04,694 -Burned down? -Yes. 20 00:01:04,778 --> 00:01:08,406 Apparently, Henri was caramelizing a huge crème brûlée 21 00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:10,325 in the shape of Puget Sound… 22 00:01:12,661 --> 00:01:16,373 …when a sugar spark ignited a 30-foot papier-mâché Space Needle. 23 00:01:17,832 --> 00:01:20,251 They're already calling it the worst centerpiece disaster 24 00:01:20,335 --> 00:01:21,878 in the history of Seattle. 25 00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:26,424 Henri built his reputation with that caramelizing torch. 26 00:01:26,716 --> 00:01:30,928 My God, the irony of him burning down his own restaurant with it. 27 00:01:31,012 --> 00:01:32,639 It's worthy of O. Henry. 28 00:01:33,014 --> 00:01:34,391 Oh, Henri. 29 00:01:36,768 --> 00:01:38,770 Please, Niles, it's too soon to joke. 30 00:01:39,813 --> 00:01:41,897 What exactly are we going to do tomorrow night? 31 00:01:41,981 --> 00:01:44,817 Every restaurant in town worth going to has been booked for months. 32 00:01:44,901 --> 00:01:47,153 You know, you can join me and the boys at McGinty's. 33 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:50,615 It's gonna be a lot of fun. They're gonna dye the beer green. 34 00:01:51,658 --> 00:01:53,326 Why would you do that on New Year's Eve? 35 00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:55,745 Oh, well, McGinty's going in for a bypass next month, 36 00:01:55,829 --> 00:01:58,829 and he's afraid he might not make it out for St. Paddy's Day. 37 00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:01,208 This is a disaster. 38 00:02:01,292 --> 00:02:04,129 No, they'll just pop in another pig valve. 39 00:02:04,421 --> 00:02:07,340 You know, the only reason he needs it is because he eats so much bacon, 40 00:02:07,424 --> 00:02:10,927 so the same thing that's killing him is keeping him alive. 41 00:02:11,386 --> 00:02:13,972 There's your O. Henry story. 42 00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:17,558 Well, maybe we can just stay in tomorrow night. 43 00:02:17,642 --> 00:02:21,687 On the most significant New Year's Eve of our lifetime? I think not. 44 00:02:21,771 --> 00:02:23,481 I should have just gone with Mel. 45 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:27,165 She and her mother are taking a hot-air balloon through the wine country. 46 00:02:28,737 --> 00:02:30,029 Well, not in the balloon, no, 47 00:02:30,113 --> 00:02:32,991 but I could have followed along in the recovery vehicle. 48 00:02:35,869 --> 00:02:37,203 Wait a minute. 49 00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaking of wine, wasn't the wine club having some sort of a party? 50 00:02:41,124 --> 00:02:44,543 Yes, at Ken Lauterbach's place in Sun Valley. Oh, it's a huge event. 51 00:02:44,627 --> 00:02:48,839 Of course. Auld Lang Wine. Niles, call and see if we're still invited. 52 00:02:48,923 --> 00:02:50,716 All right, I'm on it. 53 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,010 Bloody hell. 54 00:02:53,428 --> 00:02:56,847 Five days after Christmas is over, and I'm still getting these cards. 55 00:02:56,931 --> 00:02:58,599 They do it on purpose, you know. 56 00:02:58,683 --> 00:03:01,977 It's always from someone you forgot, and then it's too late to send one back. 57 00:03:02,061 --> 00:03:04,522 Then they sneer at you for the rest of the year. 58 00:03:04,606 --> 00:03:06,733 "Peace and goodwill," my ass. 59 00:03:08,735 --> 00:03:12,780 You just lost yourself a customer, Dr. Naran S. Gupta, D.D.S. 60 00:03:12,864 --> 00:03:16,201 Losing a set of English teeth. He'll feel that. 61 00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:20,538 -This is for you. From the DMV. -Oh! 62 00:03:20,622 --> 00:03:24,417 I know what this is, the custom plates I ordered for my Winnebago. 63 00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:26,085 Yay! 64 00:03:26,461 --> 00:03:30,256 Well, 50 bucks, but I think it says it all. 65 00:03:31,925 --> 00:03:33,259 Rid. 66 00:03:34,594 --> 00:03:36,346 Wer-er. 67 00:03:37,055 --> 00:03:40,516 Rid worrier? 68 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,437 -Red wearer. -Oh, for God's sake, "Road Warrior." 69 00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:48,482 Of course. For a retired man with a cane and a Winnebago. 70 00:03:48,566 --> 00:03:51,194 I don't know why my mind didn't go straight to it. 71 00:03:52,987 --> 00:03:54,238 Hello, Daphne. 72 00:03:54,322 --> 00:03:57,158 Ken says he'd love to have us come. And the more, the merrier. 73 00:03:57,242 --> 00:04:00,119 Oh, Niles, that's brilliant. Dad, please, please, won't you join us? 74 00:04:00,203 --> 00:04:01,495 Let's call the travel agent. 75 00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:02,830 Not to rain on your parade, 76 00:04:02,914 --> 00:04:05,291 but you may have a tough time getting flights this late. 77 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,419 Donny and I had a devil of a time getting our flights to San Francisco. 78 00:04:08,503 --> 00:04:12,423 Oh, Daphne, they always set aside a few choice seats 79 00:04:12,507 --> 00:04:14,717 for Seattle's travel elite. 80 00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:20,264 [CAR HORN HONKING] 81 00:04:20,348 --> 00:04:22,099 MAN: Pick a lane, Road Warrior! 82 00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:25,562 See? He got it. Hey! 83 00:04:30,733 --> 00:04:32,735 MARTIN: Being on the road like this, 84 00:04:32,819 --> 00:04:39,117 it's like we're three dusty hobos sharing a boxcar to parts unknown. 85 00:04:40,827 --> 00:04:44,539 Yes, well, if you don't take this next turn, we'll end up in Californy. 86 00:04:46,374 --> 00:04:48,000 Gee, Niles, you seem a little cranky. 87 00:04:48,084 --> 00:04:50,753 Well, perhaps that's because I was rousted out of a warm bed 88 00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:53,590 at the crack of dawn and herded onto a Winnebago. 89 00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:57,343 Better safe than sorry, Niles. 90 00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:00,179 You know, it's 650 miles to Sun Valley, 91 00:05:00,263 --> 00:05:02,181 and half of that's through the mountains. 92 00:05:02,265 --> 00:05:03,516 By the way, 93 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,520 how are we going to explain to the wine club our arriving in a Winnebago? 94 00:05:07,604 --> 00:05:12,317 Just chalk it up to whimsy, Niles. We'll call it our "van ordinaire." 95 00:05:14,193 --> 00:05:17,643 Besides, I'm actually enjoying this little trip through the heartland. 96 00:05:17,864 --> 00:05:21,409 I feel a bit out of touch with the common man. It's nice to reconnect. 97 00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:26,706 Well, while you're reconnecting, why don't you let me drive? 98 00:05:29,083 --> 00:05:33,087 I would, Niles, it's just that I need you to navigate. 99 00:05:33,171 --> 00:05:36,271 Yeah, you're the most important member of our crew, good buddy. 100 00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,386 The man with the map. 101 00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:43,305 Stop patronizing me. I wanna drive. 102 00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:48,143 You're not good with big cars, Niles. Remember my LeSabre? 103 00:05:48,227 --> 00:05:51,064 You kept panicking and pulling on the emergency brake. 104 00:05:52,065 --> 00:05:53,524 Well, it's a good thing I did. 105 00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:55,902 Those mailboxes weren't even slowing me down. 106 00:05:57,612 --> 00:06:01,616 Oh, did you see that sign? Little Red Cabin. You remember those diners? 107 00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:05,828 Home of the Logroller. A flank steak wrapped around 108 00:06:05,912 --> 00:06:09,415 a combination of eggs, cheese and onions. 109 00:06:09,749 --> 00:06:12,084 You kids used to love eating there. 110 00:06:12,168 --> 00:06:15,922 You'd scream out at me, "Dad, pull over. Quick, pull over." 111 00:06:17,048 --> 00:06:19,300 Actually, Dad, that was after we ate. 112 00:06:23,846 --> 00:06:27,141 [HUMMING TO CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO] 113 00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:32,104 Oh, Niles. 114 00:06:32,188 --> 00:06:33,606 Thought you were sleeping. 115 00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,566 [MARTIN LAUGHING LOUDLY] 116 00:06:37,652 --> 00:06:40,946 I was trying to, but Dad wanted to watch the VCR. 117 00:06:41,030 --> 00:06:45,034 Oh, good Lord, not Robin and the 7 Hoods again. 118 00:06:45,118 --> 00:06:47,120 [MARTIN CONTINUES LAUGHING] 119 00:06:47,662 --> 00:06:48,871 Worse. 120 00:06:48,955 --> 00:06:52,166 Yeah, baby. Now, that was a shagadelic flick. 121 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,002 [LAUGHING] 122 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,713 You know, Dad, if you're quite done, I think I'll try to take a nap. 123 00:06:57,797 --> 00:07:01,134 Oh, behave. [LAUGHING] 124 00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:06,096 You know, Dad, 125 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:09,141 you do realize that the Austin Powers craze is completely over? 126 00:07:09,225 --> 00:07:12,895 Well, I'm sorry. Do I bore you? Or do I make you randy? 127 00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:14,480 [LAUGHING] 128 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,566 [PHONE RINGING] 129 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:20,653 Hello? 130 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:23,948 Yes, Niles? 131 00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:29,287 I'm driving as smoothly as I can. 132 00:07:30,997 --> 00:07:33,248 Any other little driving tips you'd like to give me? 133 00:07:33,332 --> 00:07:36,210 Why don't you just come up here and tell me to my face? 134 00:07:37,545 --> 00:07:39,964 Hey, look, another Little Red Cabin sign. 135 00:07:40,048 --> 00:07:42,591 We're not gonna find anything better to eat on this highway. 136 00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:44,343 Oh, let's not be hasty, Dad. 137 00:07:44,427 --> 00:07:48,056 It's five miles away. We might run over something before then. 138 00:07:52,226 --> 00:07:55,688 You know, I am so tired, I can barely read this menu. 139 00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:57,940 That's all right, you don't have to read. 140 00:07:58,024 --> 00:08:00,735 You can just point to a picture of the food you want. 141 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,822 What's this? "A Logroller with your choice of cheese"? 142 00:08:04,906 --> 00:08:07,116 You can't have a Logroller without American cheese. 143 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,034 You can't get anything in this restaurant 144 00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:11,871 without American cheese, including the menu. 145 00:08:13,748 --> 00:08:15,040 Niles, if you're so tired, 146 00:08:15,124 --> 00:08:17,751 why don't you go back to the Road Warrior, take a nap? 147 00:08:17,835 --> 00:08:22,423 Oh, you know, that's a good idea. At least it'll be quiet. 148 00:08:22,757 --> 00:08:25,343 I wonder if you can still get Sticky Shingles here. 149 00:08:26,219 --> 00:08:28,554 One look at the salad bar says, "Yes." 150 00:08:30,056 --> 00:08:31,506 What looks good to you, Fras? 151 00:08:31,724 --> 00:08:36,312 Well, actually, Dad, you know, I think I'll have a hamburger. 152 00:08:39,857 --> 00:08:42,526 -Would you order that for me, Dad? -Yeah. You going someplace? 153 00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:43,910 As a matter of fact, I am. 154 00:08:44,278 --> 00:08:46,864 I'm gonna take a chance and reacquaint myself 155 00:08:46,948 --> 00:08:48,783 with an old friend of mine, 156 00:08:49,492 --> 00:08:50,868 America. 157 00:08:58,084 --> 00:08:59,418 Hello there. 158 00:09:00,253 --> 00:09:02,463 Could I buy you a cup of coffee? 159 00:09:03,548 --> 00:09:07,384 See, I'm just a wandering city mouse 160 00:09:07,468 --> 00:09:09,679 trying to get in touch with America. 161 00:09:10,471 --> 00:09:14,475 -Now, you look like you'd be a farmer. -Oh, I get it. 162 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,519 You see a guy in a rural diner wearing shabby clothes 163 00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:19,354 and you pin your little label on him. 164 00:09:19,438 --> 00:09:22,191 Well, guess what. I am a farmer. 165 00:09:22,275 --> 00:09:26,779 But I'm also a beautiful, flawed, complicated human being. 166 00:09:26,863 --> 00:09:30,116 And it's gonna take more than a cup of coffee to get inside here. 167 00:09:31,993 --> 00:09:34,829 I'll just go see how my father's doing. 168 00:09:36,789 --> 00:09:38,082 So how was he? 169 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,836 Beautiful. Flawed. Unpleasant. 170 00:09:43,671 --> 00:09:46,465 Well, according to the map, it's about 300 miles to Sun Valley. 171 00:09:46,549 --> 00:09:49,176 That's delightful. We'll get there in time for the party. 172 00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:51,970 Your brother's gonna be hungry. We should bring him a sandwich. 173 00:09:52,054 --> 00:09:53,430 I wouldn't worry about Niles. 174 00:09:53,514 --> 00:09:55,974 You saw how tired he was. Let's just let him sleep. 175 00:09:56,058 --> 00:09:57,726 -You sure? -Oh, sure. 176 00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:59,895 It's the most exciting day of the year, Dad. 177 00:09:59,979 --> 00:10:02,022 For God's sakes, you know, when Niles wakes up, 178 00:10:02,106 --> 00:10:05,818 I guarantee you, the last thing he'll be thinking about is sandwiches. 179 00:10:13,993 --> 00:10:16,204 BETTY: Oh, my goodness. 180 00:10:16,704 --> 00:10:18,372 Look what I just found in my pocket. 181 00:10:18,456 --> 00:10:20,999 The lighter I borrowed from that waitress in the restaurant. 182 00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:22,584 I feel terrible. 183 00:10:22,668 --> 00:10:26,339 Forget it, Mother. We're not taking it back. 184 00:10:29,091 --> 00:10:31,385 BETTY: Well, I really think we should just turn around 185 00:10:31,469 --> 00:10:34,221 and say we're sorry and return it. 186 00:10:34,305 --> 00:10:39,017 CLIFFORD: I think we ought to keep it. Our old one's nearly out of fuel anyway. 187 00:10:39,101 --> 00:10:42,801 BETTY: That doesn't make it right. We're criminals in the eyes of the law. 188 00:10:44,649 --> 00:10:46,817 CLIFFORD: There's a lot worse criminals than you and me. 189 00:10:46,901 --> 00:10:49,403 Remember that last gun show we went to? 190 00:10:49,487 --> 00:10:51,655 We must have seen at least three different people 191 00:10:51,739 --> 00:10:53,699 swiping boxes of shells. 192 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:57,536 One thing you can say for us, we pay for our ammo. 193 00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:09,006 So this party tonight, gonna be a lot of shagnificent birds? 194 00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:10,800 [CHUCKLES] 195 00:11:12,301 --> 00:11:13,761 Dad, I'm begging you. 196 00:11:15,012 --> 00:11:16,555 [PHONE RINGING] 197 00:11:20,101 --> 00:11:21,476 Hello? 198 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,771 Niles, will you please stop doing this? 199 00:11:26,649 --> 00:11:28,567 I'm getting a little drowsy. 200 00:11:28,651 --> 00:11:31,820 BETTY: Well, if you're so tired, just scooch over. I'll take the wheel. 201 00:11:31,904 --> 00:11:33,281 CLIFFORD: Okay, then. 202 00:11:40,079 --> 00:11:43,457 Yes, yes, hello. I'm being kidnapped. This is an emergency. 203 00:11:43,541 --> 00:11:47,920 I'm being kidnapped. I'm in a stolen Winnebago heading east on I-84. 204 00:11:48,629 --> 00:11:50,965 I can't talk any louder, I'm being stolen. 205 00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:53,800 Yes, Washington plates, 206 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:58,639 R-D-W-R-E-R. Road Warrior. 207 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,558 Yes, it does. 208 00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:03,352 It does so. Sound it out. 209 00:12:04,312 --> 00:12:06,605 Never mind. Oh, for God's sake, just save me. 210 00:12:07,815 --> 00:12:12,027 CLIFFORD: I'm getting too sleepy. I'm going back for a little lie-down. 211 00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:13,612 All right. 212 00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:17,616 BETTY: Oh, wait, Dad. Look, there's another one of those Little Red Cabins. 213 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,701 Why don't we stop and have some supper first? 214 00:12:19,785 --> 00:12:22,580 Because I'm tired and I'm not hungry. 215 00:12:23,247 --> 00:12:24,623 Clifford. 216 00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:29,503 Well, I guess a sandwich wouldn't kill me. 217 00:12:34,592 --> 00:12:36,260 BETTY: I feel sort of funny even stopping here. 218 00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:38,679 It's a little like returning to the scene of the crime. 219 00:12:38,763 --> 00:12:41,474 Mother, let it go. 220 00:12:48,939 --> 00:12:49,982 [DOOR SLAMS] 221 00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:11,420 [ENGINE STARTS] 222 00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:28,979 All right, Eddie, let's go sign nature's guest book. 223 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,191 [PHONE RINGING] 224 00:13:34,693 --> 00:13:36,653 -Hello? -NILES: Frasier? 225 00:13:36,737 --> 00:13:38,531 -Yes? -Niles. 226 00:13:39,115 --> 00:13:42,284 Put your fears to rest. I've got Dad's Winnebago back. 227 00:13:44,912 --> 00:13:47,456 Niles, what on earth are you talking about? 228 00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:49,249 You must have had a nightmare. 229 00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:50,709 Indeed I have. 230 00:13:50,793 --> 00:13:52,711 But it's over now. I managed to give the thugs 231 00:13:52,795 --> 00:13:55,172 a taste of their own thieving medicine. 232 00:13:56,132 --> 00:13:57,842 [GASPS] Niles! 233 00:13:58,926 --> 00:14:00,635 Niles, where are you calling from? 234 00:14:00,719 --> 00:14:03,389 From behind the wheel of the Road Warrior. 235 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:08,352 And doing a damn fine job driving, I might add. 236 00:14:08,811 --> 00:14:10,771 But I'm in the Road Warrior. 237 00:14:10,855 --> 00:14:14,358 You got in the wrong car, you idiot. You've stolen a Winnebago. 238 00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:17,111 Don't be absurd. 239 00:14:21,031 --> 00:14:22,074 Uh… 240 00:14:23,617 --> 00:14:25,119 Uh… 241 00:14:26,495 --> 00:14:28,122 Oh, my God. 242 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,500 [TIRES SCREECHING] 243 00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:35,837 [TIRES SCREECHING] 244 00:14:35,921 --> 00:14:38,673 All right, Niles, just keep your head. There's no need to panic. 245 00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:40,907 OFFICER [OVER BULLHORN]: This is the police. 246 00:14:41,051 --> 00:14:45,514 Exit your vehicle immediately with your hands above your head. 247 00:15:04,325 --> 00:15:06,202 How's that turkey club, Dad? 248 00:15:06,911 --> 00:15:08,913 A little dry. 249 00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:23,302 Sorry about the misunderstanding. 250 00:15:23,969 --> 00:15:25,637 These papers all checked out, sir. 251 00:15:25,721 --> 00:15:28,181 Well, if there's nothing else, we're in a hurry. 252 00:15:28,265 --> 00:15:30,601 But not too much of a hurry. 253 00:15:31,477 --> 00:15:34,188 -Well, drive safely. -Thank you. 254 00:15:34,813 --> 00:15:37,858 What a clown. I could tell you ten things he did wrong right off the bat. 255 00:15:37,942 --> 00:15:40,277 Well, at least he was apologetic. 256 00:15:40,361 --> 00:15:42,237 These hick towns give any bozo a badge. 257 00:15:42,321 --> 00:15:46,033 A goober like that wouldn't last ten minutes in a real police force. 258 00:15:48,786 --> 00:15:50,829 Without getting a promotion. 259 00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:55,543 Your license. 260 00:15:57,461 --> 00:15:58,837 [PHONE RINGING] 261 00:16:02,508 --> 00:16:04,468 -Hello? -Hello, Frasier. 262 00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:07,095 I've managed to solve the problem. I returned the Winnebago. 263 00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:08,972 To where? Where are you? 264 00:16:09,056 --> 00:16:10,807 Well, I'm in Baker City, Oregon. 265 00:16:10,891 --> 00:16:14,728 -Baker City? -Shag me rotten. That's 300 miles. 266 00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:20,567 Niles, we will never get there and then back to Sun Valley before midnight. 267 00:16:20,651 --> 00:16:24,070 Well, I'm not going to ring in the New Year in a Little Red Cabin. 268 00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:26,031 All right, all right, listen. 269 00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:29,910 The only way we can pull this off is if you can catch a ride in this direction. 270 00:16:29,994 --> 00:16:31,245 Hold on. Hold on. 271 00:16:33,372 --> 00:16:35,957 Oh, my gosh, it's engraved. 272 00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:38,168 Dad, I'm not going to enjoy the rest of this trip 273 00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:40,045 until we return that woman's lighter. 274 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,756 Mother, do you expect me to turn around 275 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,551 and drive 150 miles back to that Little Red Cabin? 276 00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:50,723 We are not going. End of discussion. 277 00:16:51,432 --> 00:16:52,808 Clifford. 278 00:16:56,812 --> 00:16:58,564 Good news. I'm on my way. 279 00:17:00,733 --> 00:17:03,568 He can make it back to the restaurant where we first got separated. 280 00:17:03,652 --> 00:17:06,238 All I have to do now is turn this boat around. 281 00:17:06,322 --> 00:17:09,741 -Thirty miles to the next exit. -I can't wait that long. 282 00:17:09,825 --> 00:17:11,535 You can't do a U-ey on an interstate. 283 00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:15,164 That's 20th-century talk, Dad. Welcome to the future. 284 00:17:15,539 --> 00:17:17,416 [TIRES SCREECH] 285 00:17:27,551 --> 00:17:32,055 God, that felt great. Wow, this is really quite an adventure, isn't it, Dad? 286 00:17:32,139 --> 00:17:34,308 [POLICE SIREN WAILING] 287 00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:36,727 MARTIN: It is now. 288 00:17:37,144 --> 00:17:39,062 Oh, dear God. 289 00:17:39,146 --> 00:17:40,897 All right, just relax, Frasier. 290 00:17:40,981 --> 00:17:44,276 I know cops. Just let me do the talking, we'll be out of here in two minutes. 291 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,362 All right, Dad, let's switch. 292 00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:56,455 Well, look who's here. 293 00:17:57,164 --> 00:17:59,040 You boys know what you did wrong back there? 294 00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:03,587 -Yeah, yeah, I know, a U-turn. -Nope. Called me a goober. 295 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:21,646 -Niles, I'm so sorry we're late. -Oh, well, not to worry. 296 00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,773 When you're here at the crossroads of the world, 297 00:18:23,857 --> 00:18:26,110 you have the human drama to amuse you. 298 00:18:26,985 --> 00:18:30,948 -Well, Happy New Year, boys. -Oh, yes, five minutes ago. 299 00:18:31,448 --> 00:18:34,284 Everyone will have a wonderful story to tell about where they were 300 00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:36,995 and what they were doing when the millennium dawned. 301 00:18:37,579 --> 00:18:39,081 What is our story? 302 00:18:39,707 --> 00:18:44,878 Speeding along a lonely highway. And you here, doing nothing. 303 00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,463 Well, not exactly nothing. 304 00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:50,426 Big Sandy let me watch the register while she emptied the rat traps. 305 00:18:54,638 --> 00:18:57,140 Hey, wait a minute. Where are we? 306 00:18:57,224 --> 00:19:00,018 I've never seen a picture of the official middle of nowhere, but… 307 00:19:00,102 --> 00:19:03,313 Yeah, yeah, yeah, but the middle of nowhere, Mountain Time, right? 308 00:19:03,397 --> 00:19:06,483 It's still only 11:05, Pacific Time. 309 00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:08,401 Can't be more than 45 minutes from here. 310 00:19:08,485 --> 00:19:10,195 We can toast in the New Year together. 311 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:11,655 Dad, that's brilliant. 312 00:19:11,739 --> 00:19:14,240 There was a delightful restaurant just across the border. 313 00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:16,117 MARTIN: The guidebook said it's pretentious. 314 00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:18,203 FRASIER: Perfect. Let's roll. 315 00:19:18,871 --> 00:19:19,996 We're running out of time. 316 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,832 Well, I'm doing my best, Fras, but we seem to be losing power. 317 00:19:22,916 --> 00:19:24,334 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 318 00:19:24,418 --> 00:19:26,586 What is that noise? What's wrong with the engine? 319 00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:28,589 I didn't touch the emergency brake. 320 00:19:28,922 --> 00:19:30,715 When was the last time you put gas in? 321 00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:33,968 Me? I don't even know where the thing is to put the gas into. 322 00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:35,262 Oh, no. 323 00:19:35,679 --> 00:19:39,308 I'm sorry, boys, it's dying. I'm gonna be lucky to get this off the road. 324 00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:42,102 I can't stand this. 325 00:19:42,603 --> 00:19:44,229 Have we so offended the millennium gods 326 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,481 that they will do anything to ruin this evening? 327 00:19:46,565 --> 00:19:48,191 Burn down our restaurant? 328 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,276 Hurl vindictive lawmen 329 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:54,322 and duplicate Winnebagos in our path to confound us? 330 00:19:54,406 --> 00:19:55,782 Wait, is that a sign? 331 00:19:55,866 --> 00:19:57,951 Of course it's a sign, a sign that we're cursed. 332 00:19:58,035 --> 00:20:02,873 No, no, no, it is. It's a sign. We're entering Pacific Time Zone. 333 00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:07,001 -We're here! -We made it. We made it. 334 00:20:07,085 --> 00:20:10,255 Come on, Eddie. Oh, 30 seconds to spare. 335 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,798 All right. 336 00:20:11,882 --> 00:20:13,800 We're rolling. We're rolling backwards. 337 00:20:13,884 --> 00:20:15,969 -Oh, no. -No need to panic, Frasier. 338 00:20:16,053 --> 00:20:17,512 [HAND BRAKE ENGAGES] 339 00:20:17,596 --> 00:20:18,931 [LAUGHS] 340 00:20:20,682 --> 00:20:25,270 -We rolled back into Idaho. -Follow me! 341 00:20:27,105 --> 00:20:30,358 Ten seconds. Let's look alive. 342 00:20:30,442 --> 00:20:34,529 -Damn this foil. -You can do it, Fras. Relax and focus. 343 00:20:34,613 --> 00:20:36,906 Three, two, one. 344 00:20:36,990 --> 00:20:38,408 [POPS] 345 00:20:39,159 --> 00:20:42,787 -We made it. Happy New Year. -Happy New Year. 346 00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:44,080 There we are. 347 00:20:44,164 --> 00:20:47,542 Well, if you ask me, this beats a dull party. 348 00:20:47,626 --> 00:20:49,627 -Yeah. -Family and good champagne 349 00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:51,547 and a blanket of stars. 350 00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:54,049 Hear, hear. 351 00:20:57,970 --> 00:21:01,264 You know what? I think this calls for a song. 352 00:21:01,348 --> 00:21:06,311 ♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot ♪ 353 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:11,149 ♪ And never brought to mind? ♪ 354 00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:12,525 ♪ Should… ♪ 355 00:21:12,609 --> 00:21:14,695 [COYOTE HOWLING] 356 00:21:16,446 --> 00:21:19,282 ♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪ 357 00:21:19,366 --> 00:21:22,661 ♪ For auld Lang syne? ♪ 358 00:21:27,374 --> 00:21:28,416 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 359 00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:31,065 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 360 00:21:31,149 --> 00:21:33,379 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 361 00:21:33,463 --> 00:21:34,840 Oh, my. 362 00:21:35,465 --> 00:21:37,634 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 363 00:21:37,718 --> 00:21:40,386 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 364 00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,514 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 365 00:21:42,598 --> 00:21:44,182 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 366 00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:47,644 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 367 00:21:48,562 --> 00:21:51,272 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 368 00:21:51,356 --> 00:21:53,567 Good night, Seattle, we love you!