1 00:00:08,471 --> 00:00:11,516 Why did I ever decide to redecorate my bathroom? 2 00:00:11,725 --> 00:00:14,125 They give you about a thousand decisions to make. 3 00:00:14,269 --> 00:00:16,437 After a while you can't even tell the colors apart. 4 00:00:16,521 --> 00:00:19,566 Roz, perhaps my discerning decorator's eye could be of assistance. 5 00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:20,692 Let me see here. 6 00:00:20,901 --> 00:00:24,529 This one's ecru, that's eggshell, and this, of course, is Navajo white. 7 00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:29,118 Very good, Frasier. Now let's see how you do on the color side. 8 00:00:31,579 --> 00:00:34,779 Roz, I do hope you don't spend your entire vacation redecorating. 9 00:00:34,874 --> 00:00:37,585 You know, you should get out. You know, have some fun. 10 00:00:37,794 --> 00:00:39,587 Maybe even take a cruise. 11 00:00:39,796 --> 00:00:43,633 You don't wanna stay cooped up with a bunch of sweaty workmen. 12 00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:47,637 Bon voyage. 13 00:00:48,347 --> 00:00:49,598 Thank you. And don't worry, 14 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,433 Chuck Bramburg said he'd take over for me. 15 00:00:51,517 --> 00:00:54,853 Absolutely not. The man's speech impediment made me giggle all week. 16 00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:56,938 -Show a little compassion. -Oh, come on. 17 00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:59,441 Try dealing with a call screener who says, "Dr. Cwane, 18 00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,777 we have a kweptomaniac on wine thwee." 19 00:01:03,404 --> 00:01:04,863 Who do you wanna use? 20 00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:07,533 Actually, I was thinking of reaching out to the community. 21 00:01:07,617 --> 00:01:11,287 I was guest speaker last month at a program called Second Start. 22 00:01:11,454 --> 00:01:14,165 For career training for people who are stuck in tedious, 23 00:01:14,249 --> 00:01:18,878 low-paying jobs, and, well, I thought I'd give the job to one of those students. 24 00:01:19,087 --> 00:01:22,215 That's a great idea, Frasier. It sounds like a great program. 25 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,532 There's Chuck Bramburg. 26 00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:25,635 You've got to tell him he doesn't have the job. 27 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,721 -Why can't you tell him? -I can't hear him 28 00:01:27,805 --> 00:01:31,016 -without descending into giggles. -Oh, you are such a child. 29 00:01:31,183 --> 00:01:33,227 -Oh, just… -Hi, guys. 30 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,939 -Hey, Chuck, how's it going? -Oh, tewible, Woz. 31 00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:42,027 My wife was in the Cawibbean, and she weft me for a Wastafawian. 32 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,864 [LAUGHING] 33 00:01:50,996 --> 00:01:53,790 FRASIER: We have a couple of minutes, tell me a little about yourself. 34 00:01:53,874 --> 00:01:55,667 How did you get interested in broadcasting? 35 00:01:55,751 --> 00:01:59,295 Well, after I got laid off from the bakery, I guess I had some free time. 36 00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,506 So I took a few different night-school courses. 37 00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,716 When I got to the one in radio, it all clicked. 38 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,012 Oh, well, you know, isn't that funny? 39 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:09,599 You know, I had almost exactly the same experience. 40 00:02:09,932 --> 00:02:11,976 I first discovered psychiatry 41 00:02:12,143 --> 00:02:16,105 at Dr. Badgely's epidemiology seminar at Harvard. 42 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,526 Except I bet you didn't walk through a metal detector to get to class. 43 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:22,528 No, no. But, you know, I did have to pass 44 00:02:22,612 --> 00:02:27,367 under a dangerously unbalanced portrait of Alfred Adler in the rotunda. 45 00:02:28,118 --> 00:02:30,162 We are practically separated at birth. 46 00:02:30,370 --> 00:02:33,039 -Oh, ten seconds, Mary. Here we go. -I am so nervous. 47 00:02:33,123 --> 00:02:35,291 -I don't know what to do. -You'll be fine. Relax. 48 00:02:35,375 --> 00:02:37,002 MARY: Okay. 49 00:02:43,175 --> 00:02:44,219 Hello, Seattle. 50 00:02:44,427 --> 00:02:47,972 This is Dr. Frasier Crane, and I'm listening. 51 00:02:48,389 --> 00:02:50,183 I'd like to introduce someone 52 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:54,437 who's going to bring her own flavor to the show this week while Roz is gone. 53 00:02:54,646 --> 00:02:56,314 Say hello to Mary Thomas. 54 00:03:01,236 --> 00:03:03,322 It's great to have you with us, Mary. 55 00:03:06,075 --> 00:03:08,625 You know, we want to get right to your calls, folks, 56 00:03:08,786 --> 00:03:11,163 so we'll be right back after this. 57 00:03:13,707 --> 00:03:18,963 Mary, I should mention that you should feel free to speak on the air. 58 00:03:19,213 --> 00:03:21,413 Roz often chimes in, well, from time to time. 59 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:24,844 -I can't believe I messed up so quickly. -No, no, no, not at all, not at all. 60 00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:27,478 Promise me that you'll speak up when it feels right. 61 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,349 -I will. -Okay, great. 62 00:03:29,558 --> 00:03:31,309 I'm sure you have excellent instincts. 63 00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:33,186 -Five seconds. -Right. 64 00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:39,192 And we're back. All right, Mary, who's our first caller? 65 00:03:40,026 --> 00:03:41,988 Maria. 66 00:03:44,198 --> 00:03:46,450 Uh, she's 36 years old. 67 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,287 Married five years. 68 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,580 And her husband's been staying late at the office 69 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:54,374 -so he can meet with his secretary. -That's the way to do it. 70 00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:59,422 Oh, I mean, I'm sorry, Maria. Uh… 71 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,841 -I'm listening. -MARIA [ON PHONE]: Hi, Dr. Crane. 72 00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:05,053 Anyway, he's having an affair and it's not his first. 73 00:04:05,262 --> 00:04:07,848 This has been going on since we were newlyweds. 74 00:04:08,056 --> 00:04:10,642 -How do I get him to change? -Maria, you of course know 75 00:04:10,726 --> 00:04:14,187 it's impossible to force anyone to change. 76 00:04:14,396 --> 00:04:17,190 But you can work to change yourself. 77 00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:20,027 Usually women who tolerate this behavior from their husbands 78 00:04:20,111 --> 00:04:21,987 are suffering from low-self-esteem issues. 79 00:04:22,071 --> 00:04:24,323 You may need some counseling to resolve those issues. 80 00:04:24,407 --> 00:04:26,557 -Let me ask you a… -May I say something? 81 00:04:26,659 --> 00:04:28,244 Yes. 82 00:04:28,453 --> 00:04:30,788 Maria, Dr. Crane is right. 83 00:04:30,997 --> 00:04:32,373 You must make a change. 84 00:04:32,582 --> 00:04:35,501 And the first thing you change is the lock on your front door. 85 00:04:35,585 --> 00:04:37,920 -What? -There's plenty of time for counselors, 86 00:04:38,004 --> 00:04:40,466 but at 6:00 locksmiths start charging extra. 87 00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:42,551 So you get on it, girlfriend. 88 00:04:44,094 --> 00:04:46,639 You know, my Grandpa Willie used to say, 89 00:04:46,847 --> 00:04:49,297 "Nothing stops a man from playing the field faster 90 00:04:49,391 --> 00:04:53,395 than a night out on the lawn." Okay? Okay. 91 00:04:59,736 --> 00:05:03,323 Oh, thank you, Grandpa Willie. 92 00:05:06,493 --> 00:05:08,870 Lookit here, Tony, you're 35 years old. 93 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,205 Now, your parents only had you for the first 18, 94 00:05:11,289 --> 00:05:13,833 so if you want to blame someone, you need to blame yourself. 95 00:05:13,917 --> 00:05:16,169 Okay? Okay. 96 00:05:18,631 --> 00:05:22,510 Actually, chronic rage problems usually stem from childhood… 97 00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:24,720 Dr. Crane, we're all out of time. 98 00:05:28,808 --> 00:05:30,393 So we are. 99 00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:34,105 Well, then this is Dr. Frasier Crane saying goodbye, Seattle, 100 00:05:34,313 --> 00:05:38,193 -and good mental health. -And tune in tomorrow. 101 00:05:43,699 --> 00:05:45,033 Hello, Daphne. 102 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,118 Well, Dr. Crane, you're in a good mood today. 103 00:05:47,202 --> 00:05:51,832 Mm-hm. After six long weeks, I have finally received my yellow belt. 104 00:05:52,082 --> 00:05:53,250 Well, aren't you lucky? 105 00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:57,463 I ordered some more Capri pants two months ago and I'm still waiting. 106 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,927 No, no, no. As this handsome certificate will attest, 107 00:06:03,136 --> 00:06:05,554 I have finally attained the second level of kickboxing. 108 00:06:05,638 --> 00:06:08,558 Oh, congratulations. 109 00:06:09,475 --> 00:06:12,811 -What made you take up kickboxing? -Well, in order to protect Mel. 110 00:06:12,895 --> 00:06:14,745 As you know, she's a plastic surgeon. 111 00:06:14,856 --> 00:06:17,556 She has a habit of slipping her card to total strangers 112 00:06:17,693 --> 00:06:20,446 who she feels could use her services. 113 00:06:20,863 --> 00:06:23,698 -So far, no harm done, but… -It's only a matter of time before 114 00:06:23,782 --> 00:06:25,909 -you get your lights punched out. -Exactly. 115 00:06:25,993 --> 00:06:28,453 It almost happened last week with Marjorie Dunsmore. 116 00:06:28,537 --> 00:06:30,038 Luck was on our side, but next time 117 00:06:30,122 --> 00:06:32,624 there might not be a walker to kick over, so… 118 00:06:34,418 --> 00:06:36,462 But I think Dad will be properly impressed 119 00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:39,716 when I demonstrate my precision footwork, you know. 120 00:06:41,676 --> 00:06:43,053 Whoa. Ha-ha. 121 00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:45,304 -That's very impressive, Dr. Crane. -Thank you. 122 00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:46,973 Yeah. You know, I just remembered, 123 00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,557 the Chihuly needs a good dusting. 124 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,810 -I thought you cleaned that yesterday. -Oh, did I? 125 00:06:50,894 --> 00:06:52,436 Hello, Niles. What brings you here? 126 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,692 I'm here to demonstrate my newly acquired feet of horrible fury. 127 00:06:58,486 --> 00:06:59,987 Carry on, Daphne. 128 00:07:00,196 --> 00:07:03,115 Oh, wait, Frasier. Frasier, who was that woman on your show today? 129 00:07:03,199 --> 00:07:07,661 Oh, that was Mary Thomas. She's filling in for Roz this week. 130 00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:10,247 Seemed to me like she was filling in for you. 131 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,711 You're normally so particular about what happens on your show. 132 00:07:14,795 --> 00:07:17,463 -I'm surprised you let her go on. -I started to say something, 133 00:07:17,547 --> 00:07:22,344 and then I thought, "Well, it might be a bit condescending." 134 00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:24,178 I know why you didn't say anything. 135 00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:26,431 -Because she's black. -That's ridiculous, Dad. 136 00:07:26,515 --> 00:07:27,849 Race has nothing to do with it. 137 00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:29,383 NILES: Oh, come now, Frasier. 138 00:07:29,518 --> 00:07:31,352 You can't deny a certain measure of guilt, 139 00:07:31,436 --> 00:07:35,358 living as you do in your exclusive, lily-white world. 140 00:07:38,736 --> 00:07:41,239 Niles, owning the CD of Ella Sings Gershwin 141 00:07:41,447 --> 00:07:43,908 does not qualify you as a soul brother. 142 00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:48,537 You know, Fras, there's such a thing as being too sensitive about this stuff. 143 00:07:48,621 --> 00:07:50,914 Now, if it was Roz blabbing on instead of this Mary, 144 00:07:50,998 --> 00:07:53,098 you'd tell her to put a sock in it, right? 145 00:07:53,252 --> 00:07:55,587 I suppose so, but, you know, this is different, Dad. 146 00:07:55,671 --> 00:07:59,132 She's just starting out. I didn't want to squelch her enthusiasm. 147 00:07:59,216 --> 00:08:00,508 -Because she's black. -FRASIER: No. 148 00:08:00,592 --> 00:08:02,742 Dad, please, will you just stop saying that? 149 00:08:02,886 --> 00:08:06,056 Anyway, I just have to deal with it for a week till Roz gets back. 150 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,850 -Black. -Stop it. 151 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:14,858 -My first roommate at Yale was black. -Huntington Treadwell III. 152 00:08:15,066 --> 00:08:17,902 He's hardly representative of the African-American experience. 153 00:08:17,986 --> 00:08:20,697 His father was a pioneer in Selma and Montgomery. 154 00:08:20,905 --> 00:08:23,908 Yes, I believe he built golf courses all over the South. 155 00:08:24,534 --> 00:08:28,413 Oh, speaking of golf, Dad, I've become quite the sportsman myself. 156 00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:30,791 -Oh. -What do you think of that? 157 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:35,921 Oh, that's very nice, son, but calligraphy really isn't a sport. 158 00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:39,884 It's more of a craft. 159 00:08:40,509 --> 00:08:42,928 No, no, no. This is for kickboxing. 160 00:08:43,137 --> 00:08:44,987 I finally reached yellow-belt status. 161 00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:47,183 Hey, what do you know? I'm proud of you. 162 00:08:47,391 --> 00:08:48,893 -Oh, come here. -Oh. 163 00:08:51,396 --> 00:08:53,773 Well, you know, it requires a lot of talent, you know. 164 00:08:53,857 --> 00:08:55,657 You have to have timing and balance, 165 00:08:55,775 --> 00:08:57,902 and the ability to strike and instantly retreat. 166 00:08:57,986 --> 00:09:00,739 -So you kick and then run away? -Yes, yes. 167 00:09:01,114 --> 00:09:03,408 My instructor says I'm a natural. Yes. 168 00:09:03,617 --> 00:09:06,203 -Can I show you something? -Oh, yeah, sure. 169 00:09:06,828 --> 00:09:09,207 Let me show you a roundhouse kick. All right. 170 00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:12,376 Now, you sense your assailant's presence. 171 00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:15,630 You feel your body in the space 172 00:09:16,297 --> 00:09:19,884 where your opponent is, and when you're ready, you strike. 173 00:09:20,051 --> 00:09:22,637 -Hoo! -MARTIN: Oh! 174 00:09:29,645 --> 00:09:31,855 -What have I done? -Are you all right, Daphne? 175 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:32,989 -Yes. -NILES: Really? 176 00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:35,817 No. I landed on my wrist. It's really throbbing. 177 00:09:36,026 --> 00:09:38,904 -Go get her some ice, Niles. -NILES: Oh, all right. 178 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,991 You know, Dad, perhaps you're right. Maybe I am too sensitive. 179 00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:44,284 [PHONE RINGING] 180 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,495 Daphne, could you get that, please? 181 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:52,710 Gabe, you must remember that compulsive shopping is an addiction. 182 00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:56,047 -There are no simple solutions. -Oh, I've got one. 183 00:09:57,715 --> 00:10:01,594 Cut those credit cards up right now, okay? Okay. 184 00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:03,304 GABE [ON PHONE]: Thanks, Dr. Mary. 185 00:10:03,388 --> 00:10:06,976 Uh, you know, I hate to be a stickler here, Gabe, 186 00:10:07,142 --> 00:10:10,980 but as Mary would be the first to point out, she is not a doctor. 187 00:10:11,146 --> 00:10:13,899 Oh, I don't mind. Oh, call me Dr. Mary. 188 00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:16,860 You know, Latifah is not a real queen, right? 189 00:10:20,406 --> 00:10:23,556 Oh, you know what, doll babies, we're all out of time for today. 190 00:10:26,371 --> 00:10:27,497 So we are. 191 00:10:28,248 --> 00:10:30,248 Well, then, this is Dr. Frasier Crane… 192 00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,794 And Dr. Mary. 193 00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:39,884 Saying goodbye, Seattle, and good mental health. 194 00:10:42,929 --> 00:10:44,347 -Hey, guys. -FRASIER: Hello, Kenny. 195 00:10:44,431 --> 00:10:46,516 Just checking in to see how things are going. 196 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,700 Are you kidding? This is a dream come true. 197 00:10:48,811 --> 00:10:50,730 [KENNY, FRASIER CHUCKLING] 198 00:10:52,481 --> 00:10:56,569 So, uh, you and Mary, what do you think of her? 199 00:10:56,777 --> 00:10:57,987 Be honest. 200 00:10:58,321 --> 00:11:01,198 Well, I genuinely like her. 201 00:11:01,407 --> 00:11:04,119 She's delightful and dedicated. 202 00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:06,330 And? 203 00:11:06,955 --> 00:11:08,457 Well, uh, 204 00:11:09,124 --> 00:11:11,542 she does have a tendency to just sort of jump right in 205 00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:15,339 whenever she likes, and frankly, her method of solving problems 206 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,466 is totally different than mine. 207 00:11:17,674 --> 00:11:19,217 Yeah, I'm nuts about her too. 208 00:11:20,469 --> 00:11:24,223 The contrast between you guys, that's what gets things crackling. 209 00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:27,268 I always thought that your show was the gold standard 210 00:11:27,435 --> 00:11:30,772 of radio shrink chatter, but this last week has been even better. 211 00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:32,564 -You think so? -KENNY: Absolutely. 212 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,108 In fact, 213 00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:37,325 the boys upstairs would like to make you two a permanent team. 214 00:11:37,528 --> 00:11:38,780 MARY: Oh! 215 00:11:38,946 --> 00:11:41,240 Aw, who am I kidding? There are no boys upstairs. 216 00:11:41,324 --> 00:11:44,328 I just love this show, okay? 217 00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:48,164 Oh, this is so exciting. I cannot believe it. 218 00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:50,750 -Oh, me neither. -KENNY: And don't you worry about Roz. 219 00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:52,711 I'm gonna switch her over to Gil's show. 220 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,880 The hours are better and I'll even throw in a 20-percent raise. 221 00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:58,508 Oh, this is gonna be great. I'll bet you within a month, 222 00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:01,177 you guys are gonna have the hottest ratings in Seattle. 223 00:12:01,261 --> 00:12:02,514 Oh, this is so wonderful. 224 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,172 Thank you both, really. I'm gonna call my parents. 225 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,227 -Listen, Kenny… -I know what you're feeling, 226 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,854 and let me save you the trouble. 227 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,856 Come here, big guy. 228 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,473 [FRASIER, KENNY CHUCKLING] 229 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,151 I want some too. 230 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,113 -FRASIER: Oh! -MARY: All right. 231 00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,582 Everything comfy, Daphne? There you are. 232 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,835 This quiche should hold you till dinner. 233 00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:33,378 Dr. Crane, you really don't need to fill in for me. 234 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,673 It's just a sprained wrist. I'm perfectly capable of cooking dinner. 235 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,092 The hell you are. 236 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,346 Daphne, it is the least I can do, believe me. 237 00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:44,680 Until you're fully recovered, consider me your full-time stand-in. 238 00:12:44,975 --> 00:12:48,478 Which reminds me, Dad, I rented your favorite video. 239 00:12:48,645 --> 00:12:51,022 Oh-ho! Death Wish. 240 00:12:52,691 --> 00:12:56,653 I'll get your beer. I'm just frosting the mug the way Daphne does. 241 00:12:56,862 --> 00:13:00,116 -I never frost your beer mug. -Oh, be quiet, will you? 242 00:13:00,992 --> 00:13:04,412 He's feeling very guilty and we have to help him work through it. 243 00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,539 That is just baloney and you know it. 244 00:13:06,706 --> 00:13:08,499 Shame on you, taking advantage of your son. 245 00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,751 -I don't know how you sleep at night. -Pretty good 246 00:13:10,835 --> 00:13:14,535 since he started putting a mint on my pillow and a cup of cocoa by the bed. 247 00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:16,841 He never leaves me cocoa. 248 00:13:17,049 --> 00:13:19,299 -You have to fill out that little card. -Oh. 249 00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:26,101 Oh, Fras, how'd the show go? 250 00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:33,775 It was very educational. 251 00:13:34,151 --> 00:13:37,947 Today Mary taught us how to manipulate our husbands 252 00:13:38,114 --> 00:13:40,408 by withholding sex. 253 00:13:41,659 --> 00:13:45,955 And she taught us how to lie to our children about the past. 254 00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:48,791 Boy, that Dr. Mary sure goes on and on. 255 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,251 For the last time, 256 00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:53,129 she's not a doctor, no matter how many times she says she is. 257 00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:57,510 A cat can have kittens in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits. 258 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:07,102 Dear God, now I'm quoting Grandpa Willie. 259 00:14:08,062 --> 00:14:10,439 For heaven's sake, why don't you just talk to her? 260 00:14:10,523 --> 00:14:11,982 It's a delicate situation, Niles. 261 00:14:12,066 --> 00:14:14,527 For God sakes, it's not all that easy. 262 00:14:14,735 --> 00:14:19,241 I mean, she is new to the field. She's sensitive. She's eager to please. 263 00:14:19,449 --> 00:14:21,535 -She's black. -Dad, please. 264 00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:24,328 You know damn well that's what this is about. 265 00:14:24,412 --> 00:14:27,039 I don't know what the big deal is. If she's talking too much, 266 00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:29,041 -tell her to shut her big bazoo. -FRASIER: Really? 267 00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:31,836 How do you suggest I do that without sounding like a bigot? 268 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,130 Well, perhaps a little diplomacy is in order. 269 00:14:34,297 --> 00:14:36,717 Are you saying I should choose my words more carefully? 270 00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:38,177 -Yeah, exactly. -Fine, fine. 271 00:14:38,261 --> 00:14:40,512 All right, Niles, just exactly how would that go? 272 00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:42,596 Why don't you play me, and I'll be Mary. 273 00:14:43,057 --> 00:14:45,977 -All right. Uh, Mary? -Frasier? 274 00:14:49,063 --> 00:14:50,763 I've been meaning to speak to you. 275 00:14:50,898 --> 00:14:53,066 Uh, people listen to the show for my expertise. 276 00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:55,487 So my opinion's not worth anything? 277 00:14:55,904 --> 00:14:57,739 Well, I'm the one with the medical degree. 278 00:14:57,823 --> 00:15:00,116 All right, I want you to contribute, but up to a point. 279 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,245 So you want me to stay in my place, massa? 280 00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:12,212 -She's not going to say massa. -What, am I getting too uppity for you, 281 00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:15,300 you sherry-swilling, opera-loving, Armani-wearing elitist? 282 00:15:15,466 --> 00:15:20,263 You have no idea how difficult it is for a black woman in a white man's world. 283 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,561 -Frasier… -I don't think so. 284 00:15:29,272 --> 00:15:31,565 Look at me, this is ridiculous. I have walked myself 285 00:15:31,649 --> 00:15:33,569 straight into a minefield. 286 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,406 Listen, Frasier, 287 00:15:37,615 --> 00:15:39,407 I know you're trying to be sensitive, 288 00:15:39,491 --> 00:15:42,827 but you're not showing this woman any respect if you're not as honest with her 289 00:15:42,911 --> 00:15:45,330 -as you'd be with someone else. -This is your show. 290 00:15:45,414 --> 00:15:48,314 When she gets her own show, she can say whatever she wants. 291 00:15:51,086 --> 00:15:53,089 Wait a minute. You know what, Dad? 292 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,906 You may be on to something there. 293 00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:56,801 I don't know why I didn't think of that. 294 00:15:56,885 --> 00:15:59,178 I'm just gonna tell Kenny to give her her own show. 295 00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,806 A replacement for Let's Go Camping With Dan and Jenna. 296 00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:04,267 -What happened to them? -They don't know. 297 00:16:04,726 --> 00:16:06,561 Kenny? It's Frasier. 298 00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:08,604 Listen, I've been thinking. You know what, 299 00:16:08,688 --> 00:16:11,316 I think I'm holding Mary back. 300 00:16:11,524 --> 00:16:15,174 Yes, I mean, a talent like hers should not be stuck in a producer's chair. 301 00:16:15,446 --> 00:16:17,239 He agrees with me. 302 00:16:17,448 --> 00:16:20,409 Oh, I'll tell you what to do. You snap out of it. 303 00:16:20,576 --> 00:16:22,619 You know why you're afraid to get married? 304 00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:25,553 You think there's some room full of hoochy mamas out there 305 00:16:25,748 --> 00:16:28,709 that's waiting for you in case you don't wanna do the right thing. 306 00:16:28,793 --> 00:16:32,714 The only thing you're missing out on is a lot of cold and lonely nights, 307 00:16:32,881 --> 00:16:36,217 and there's not one person out there that would disagree with me on that. 308 00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:37,969 I do. 309 00:16:41,014 --> 00:16:42,891 I don't think he deserves that girl. 310 00:16:43,058 --> 00:16:45,560 And if he's not man enough to take that leap of faith, 311 00:16:45,644 --> 00:16:48,814 -then she's better off without him. -Louise, is you trippin'? 312 00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:53,569 -Trippin'? Excuse me, miss. -MARY: You got to get married. 313 00:16:53,778 --> 00:16:57,240 He needs to do the right thing. What are you trying to tell that man? 314 00:16:57,448 --> 00:17:00,201 -You ain't never been married. -Oh, no. Oh, no. 315 00:17:00,368 --> 00:17:03,871 -I'm Dr. Mary. -I'm not trying to hear you. 316 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,587 -ROZ: Ooh. -Mm. 317 00:17:10,754 --> 00:17:12,756 -Hi, Roz. -Hey, Frasier. 318 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,133 I listened to your show for about 20 minutes today. 319 00:17:15,217 --> 00:17:16,802 I didn't even hear your voice. 320 00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:19,972 Well, I'm playing a diminished role these days, 321 00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:26,186 although still an important one. I am the glue that holds the show together. 322 00:17:26,395 --> 00:17:32,652 Or as Mary said in her intro, "The filling in our little Oreo." 323 00:17:35,572 --> 00:17:38,283 Well, it's no picnic working with Gil either. 324 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,036 That little joke he makes before every show, that his taste buds are insured? 325 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,955 -They really are. -Oh… 326 00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:48,543 Guess who had to take the claims photo after he ate a hot slice of pizza? 327 00:17:48,627 --> 00:17:52,173 -Oh, God, Roz, I'm so sorry. -You should be. 328 00:17:52,381 --> 00:17:54,675 I go away for a week, and you give away our whole show. 329 00:17:54,759 --> 00:17:57,344 Yes, I know. Oh, Lord, there she is. 330 00:17:58,053 --> 00:18:02,391 I could've nipped this in the bud if I'd been honest with her. 331 00:18:03,768 --> 00:18:06,718 Perhaps the time has come for me to just tell her the truth. 332 00:18:06,979 --> 00:18:10,525 Wow. Sounds like an intense conversation. 333 00:18:10,734 --> 00:18:13,861 -I'll get out of here and give you room. -FRASIER: Thank you, Roz. 334 00:18:13,945 --> 00:18:15,655 Roz? 335 00:18:18,116 --> 00:18:21,828 Hey there, partner. Is there room for one more at the doctors' table? 336 00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:23,955 Of course, Mary. 337 00:18:24,164 --> 00:18:26,165 There's something I wanna talk to you about. 338 00:18:26,249 --> 00:18:28,849 Oh, I don't doubt it. Could you believe Louise today? 339 00:18:29,045 --> 00:18:31,004 She just would not stop talking, would she? 340 00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:33,465 -It's not Louise, you see… -Every time I turn around, 341 00:18:33,549 --> 00:18:35,467 she's just yappity, yappity, yappity, yap. 342 00:18:35,551 --> 00:18:38,345 -What is her training anyway? -Mary, please, just stop it. 343 00:18:38,429 --> 00:18:41,974 Stop it, please. The problem is not with Louise. 344 00:18:42,725 --> 00:18:45,686 -It's with you. -What? 345 00:18:46,605 --> 00:18:50,067 Look, the truth is, I… I don't enjoy working with you. 346 00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:53,362 I haven't enjoyed working with you from the start. 347 00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:56,698 We have different styles, and I have absolutely no respect 348 00:18:56,907 --> 00:18:58,367 for the advice that you give. 349 00:18:59,326 --> 00:19:01,703 I had no idea. 350 00:19:01,912 --> 00:19:04,873 Well, why didn't you just say something before? 351 00:19:06,709 --> 00:19:09,212 Well, it's because you're black. 352 00:19:11,172 --> 00:19:16,344 And the truth is I was afraid that if I said something critical of you, 353 00:19:16,553 --> 00:19:22,433 you might react the wrong way, and I feel just terrible about it. 354 00:19:23,268 --> 00:19:26,668 -Maybe you shouldn't feel so bad be… -No, no, actually, I should. 355 00:19:26,772 --> 00:19:29,566 I pride myself for being able to communicate with anybody, 356 00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:31,600 and I couldn't even be honest with you. 357 00:19:31,986 --> 00:19:34,947 Oh, it's not that easy. You didn't wanna disappoint me. 358 00:19:35,155 --> 00:19:38,283 I understand. If you don't like the show the way it is right now, 359 00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:39,618 then that comes first. 360 00:19:39,827 --> 00:19:42,371 Like Grandpa Willie used to say, 361 00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:46,001 "If the shoe don't fit, then that ain't your shoe." 362 00:19:47,961 --> 00:19:51,423 You know, as much as I've come to loathe Grandpa Willie, 363 00:19:51,756 --> 00:19:54,426 that does actually make me feel a little better. 364 00:19:54,634 --> 00:19:56,384 I'll let you in on a little secret. 365 00:19:56,469 --> 00:19:59,973 All those expressions? I made them up myself. 366 00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:05,994 I'll give you another reason not to feel so bad about all this. 367 00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:09,483 Today KPXY offered me my own show. 368 00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:13,029 -I'm gonna be just fine on my own. -Mary, that's wonderful news. 369 00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:16,866 So you forgive me? 370 00:20:17,074 --> 00:20:20,161 Well, I think you could've been honest with me. 371 00:20:20,745 --> 00:20:24,332 Then again, if you had told me to be quiet, then I'd be back at the bakery. 372 00:20:24,416 --> 00:20:26,668 Instead, I've got this brand-new career, 373 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:29,212 and this afternoon I'm shopping for cars. 374 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,506 So I guess what I'm saying is, 375 00:20:31,924 --> 00:20:35,510 God bless your guilty white ass, okay? 376 00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:46,814 -So how'd it go? -Well, actually, better than I expected. 377 00:20:47,231 --> 00:20:48,816 I guess we're a team again, Roz. 378 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:49,943 Great. 379 00:20:50,193 --> 00:20:51,652 We'll have to wait a little while. 380 00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:54,486 I gotta stay with Gil until we find another replacement. 381 00:20:54,614 --> 00:20:57,825 Right. Of course. Well, I can find somebody. 382 00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:01,163 Thank you for your call, Jill. 383 00:21:01,372 --> 00:21:03,916 Well, Chuck, who else is on the line? 384 00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:06,543 Well, Dr. Cwane. 385 00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:12,967 We have Winda on wine thwee, who bewieves peopew awe waffing at hew. 386 00:21:18,722 --> 00:21:20,808 Maybe we can just come back to that one, Chuck. 387 00:21:20,892 --> 00:21:22,686 Aw-wighty.