1
00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:10,276
How's your coffee?

2
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,903
Oh, good. Good.

3
00:00:13,862 --> 00:00:15,614
-Yours?
-Very nice.

4
00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:16,990
That's good.

5
00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:22,954
Marty, we have no
reason to be uncomfortable.

6
00:00:23,162 --> 00:00:25,415
We're two consenting adults.

7
00:00:25,622 --> 00:00:28,208
What about your husband?
He never consented.

8
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:31,670
Stan loved you, Martin, and he loved me.

9
00:00:31,837 --> 00:00:35,548
If anything, he's up in heaven
right now watching us and smiling.

10
00:00:35,756 --> 00:00:38,456
You don't think he was
watching the whole time, do you?

11
00:00:39,468 --> 00:00:42,679
Not if heaven gets ESPN.

12
00:00:42,929 --> 00:00:45,079
-Come on, now, stop feeling guilty.
-Okay.

13
00:00:46,266 --> 00:00:48,851
-Oh, Dad.
-Oh, Fras.

14
00:00:49,017 --> 00:00:50,435
Remember Claire Wojadubakowski?

15
00:00:50,519 --> 00:00:52,395
Yes, of course.
Hello, Mrs. Wojadubakowski.

16
00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,230
-CLAIRE: Hello.
-Good to see you again.

17
00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:57,066
-I'm sorry again about your loss.
-Oh, thank you.

18
00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:58,817
FRASIER: He was a good man, your husband.

19
00:00:58,901 --> 00:01:02,320
Dad's often said if it weren't for Stan,
he wouldn't have made the academy.

20
00:01:02,404 --> 00:01:04,530
-That's right.
-And didn't he lend you the money

21
00:01:04,614 --> 00:01:07,284
-for your first car?
-Yeah, yeah, he did.

22
00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:10,369
Of course, we all owe him
for introducing Dad to Mom.

23
00:01:10,536 --> 00:01:12,371
Oh, God.

24
00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:15,040
You know, Marty, I think we'd better go.

25
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:18,710
Oh, of course. Well, Claire, it
was lovely seeing you again.

26
00:01:18,877 --> 00:01:20,586
Give my regards to your son, Martin.

27
00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:22,714
Oh, God.

28
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,635
-Hi, Roz. Why don't you join me?
-Frasier.

29
00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:30,303
Well, aren't you here with Niles?

30
00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:32,471
No, I haven't been
seeing much of Niles lately.

31
00:01:32,555 --> 00:01:35,599
-He spends all his time with Mel.
-Well, that's what happens

32
00:01:35,683 --> 00:01:37,559
-at the beginning of relationships.
-Yes.

33
00:01:37,643 --> 00:01:40,812
-Can I have a decaf latte, please?
-And I'll have my usual. Thank you.

34
00:01:40,896 --> 00:01:43,106
Gosh, I do hope he hasn't
forgotten me completely.

35
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,941
We have wine club tonight.
I'm sort of counting on him

36
00:01:46,108 --> 00:01:48,778
to help me become corkmaster.

37
00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:53,782
But you'll still keep your secret
identity as Frasier Crane, right?

38
00:01:54,866 --> 00:01:57,744
Corkmaster is the most
prestigious position in our club.

39
00:01:57,911 --> 00:02:00,662
If elected, I plan to have vertical
tastings and guest speakers,

40
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,346
perhaps even a trip to Portugal,

41
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:04,666
where some of the world's
finest corks come from.

42
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,543
I wish I had a cork right now.

43
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:11,005
That's very funny, Roz.
You know, I do hope Niles shows up.

44
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:15,509
Mel has a way of making him
change his mind at the last minute.

45
00:02:15,675 --> 00:02:17,775
You know, I think
she's a bit manipulative.

46
00:02:17,886 --> 00:02:19,304
Based on what?

47
00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:22,765
Well, I don't know. A feeling.

48
00:02:22,973 --> 00:02:25,226
So you really don't know her that well.

49
00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:28,951
That's true. I really haven't given
her much of a chance, I suppose.

50
00:02:29,103 --> 00:02:32,857
I suppose I could put together
a little get-to-know-you event,

51
00:02:33,024 --> 00:02:34,317
a Sunday brunch, perhaps.

52
00:02:34,526 --> 00:02:35,652
-There you go.
-Yes.

53
00:02:35,819 --> 00:02:38,769
It's a good idea, Roz.
Of course, I don't wanna make it seem

54
00:02:38,862 --> 00:02:42,282
like she's under the family microscope.
Maybe you could come along.

55
00:02:42,449 --> 00:02:43,949
-Oh, I guess I could.
-Great.

56
00:02:44,116 --> 00:02:46,911
Oh, and by Sunday you'll be Corkman.

57
00:02:47,537 --> 00:02:50,539
Corkmaster. Thank you, Roz.

58
00:02:50,705 --> 00:02:53,916
I won't know until after the
election tonight, but I'll let you know.

59
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,087
Or I could just look up in
the sky for the cork signal.

60
00:02:57,295 --> 00:02:58,379
Very amusing, Roz.

61
00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,547
If you win, I'd love a
ride in the Corkmobile.

62
00:03:00,631 --> 00:03:02,174
All right, Roz.

63
00:03:06,928 --> 00:03:08,096
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

64
00:03:08,263 --> 00:03:09,931
Niles?

65
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,308
Oh, don't you look dashing.

66
00:03:15,644 --> 00:03:19,480
I brought you a nice bottle of
Cheval Blanc to impress the wine club.

67
00:03:19,689 --> 00:03:24,318
Mrs. Riggs gave it to me as a
thank-you after her last facelift.

68
00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:26,653
'61? I don't believe it.

69
00:03:26,862 --> 00:03:29,447
Yes, that's what they're
saying about Mrs. Riggs.

70
00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:33,201
Oh, this is the perfect occasion
for me to bring this wine.

71
00:03:33,368 --> 00:03:35,410
-We're electing a new president tonight.
-Oh?

72
00:03:35,494 --> 00:03:37,746
Yes, and I promised
Frasier I'd nominate him.

73
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:40,213
Oh, did I mention brunch
at Frasier's tomorrow?

74
00:03:40,374 --> 00:03:41,833
Oh, yes, darling.

75
00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:45,920
I'm so happy my rare and expensive
bottle will benefit your brother.

76
00:03:46,129 --> 00:03:49,422
-Oh, that tie's all wrong. Let me?
-Oh, yes, of course. Of course.

77
00:03:49,506 --> 00:03:52,050
Yes, well, ever since the
day he joined the wine club,

78
00:03:52,134 --> 00:03:54,184
Frasier's dreamed of becoming corkmaster.

79
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,179
Good choice.

80
00:03:57,388 --> 00:03:59,849
I think it's wonderful. I really do.

81
00:04:00,016 --> 00:04:02,316
Helping your brother
win this prestigious post.

82
00:04:02,435 --> 00:04:03,977
Well, Frasier deserves it.

83
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,605
Because he knows more
about wine than you do.

84
00:04:06,771 --> 00:04:07,898
I wouldn't say that.

85
00:04:08,106 --> 00:04:10,524
Well, he's probably
been in the club longer.

86
00:04:10,691 --> 00:04:12,776
No, actually, I sponsored his membership.

87
00:04:12,943 --> 00:04:16,405
Oh, well, so you've never
wanted that honor for yourself?

88
00:04:16,572 --> 00:04:18,114
Well, I wouldn't say never.

89
00:04:18,281 --> 00:04:21,993
Who hasn't nursed the dream
of one day becoming corkmaster?

90
00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:27,289
Well, I'm sure Frasier at least
asked if you were interested.

91
00:04:27,956 --> 00:04:30,709
Well, now that you
mention it, no, he didn't.

92
00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:34,462
And you don't resent it?

93
00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:39,674
Well, you see, that's why I love
you, because most people would.

94
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:43,053
I would. Bitterly. But then, I'm not you,

95
00:04:43,219 --> 00:04:46,419
and I don't know what's best for you.
And now the jacket's wrong.

96
00:04:47,556 --> 00:04:49,224
You think I should call him on this?

97
00:04:49,308 --> 00:04:53,270
Oh, please, the last thing I wanna do
is come between you and your brother.

98
00:04:53,478 --> 00:04:56,146
He knows perfectly well how
much I've coveted this post.

99
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:58,107
I distinctly confided
my aspirations to him

100
00:04:58,191 --> 00:05:01,902
the night Judge Rivington fell off
the ferry after the spring tasting.

101
00:05:02,527 --> 00:05:06,156
-Well, I'm sure he just forgot.
-No, no, don't defend him.

102
00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:10,409
Here. He's always putting
himself first, and I always let him.

103
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,370
-Why, Niles?
-Oh, I don't know.

104
00:05:12,536 --> 00:05:15,205
-I think perhaps it's because…
-I'll tell you why.

105
00:05:15,372 --> 00:05:19,042
Because you can't see
yourself for what you really are.

106
00:05:19,209 --> 00:05:24,838
You are a powerful, sexy, dynamic,

107
00:05:25,005 --> 00:05:27,883
colossus of a man.

108
00:05:29,468 --> 00:05:34,764
In other words, perfect corkmaster.

109
00:05:36,224 --> 00:05:38,183
I am, aren't I?

110
00:05:39,518 --> 00:05:44,313
Don't let anyone, anyone,
ever take that away from you.

111
00:05:47,483 --> 00:05:48,901
And now, that's all I'm gonna say

112
00:05:48,985 --> 00:05:51,528
because I love you and
I don't wanna meddle.

113
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:58,867
-FRASIER: Niles, finally, you're here.
-NILES: Sorry I'm late.

114
00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:01,202
That's all right.
The nominations are about to begin.

115
00:06:01,286 --> 00:06:02,454
This is what we'll do.

116
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,498
After you nominate me, I will
demur modestly for a moment,

117
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,732
-and then I'll say something like…
-I want to be corkmaster.

118
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,462
Well, that's a bit
artless, don't you think?

119
00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:14,631
No, no. I want to be corkmaster too.

120
00:06:14,923 --> 00:06:17,091
I covet this post as much
as you do, I always have,

121
00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:18,925
and I think I deserve a shot at it.

122
00:06:19,094 --> 00:06:22,346
Niles, I've been campaigning for
this all week. I was counting on you

123
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:24,015
-to nominate me.
-And I will.

124
00:06:24,223 --> 00:06:26,308
I'm just hoping that
you'll return the favor.

125
00:06:26,392 --> 00:06:28,726
Unless, that is, you're
afraid of a little competition.

126
00:06:28,810 --> 00:06:29,894
[TAPPING ON GLASS]

127
00:06:30,061 --> 00:06:32,063
May I have your attention? My friends,

128
00:06:32,272 --> 00:06:34,733
as outgoing corkmaster,

129
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:37,192
I would like to thank those
of you who stuck with me

130
00:06:37,276 --> 00:06:40,029
during the ugly days of Spritzergate,

131
00:06:41,113 --> 00:06:44,824
but the time has come
to pass the tasting cup.

132
00:06:44,991 --> 00:06:47,994
Are there any nominations? Niles.

133
00:06:48,161 --> 00:06:52,330
It is an honor and a privilege to
nominate my brother, Frasier Crane.

134
00:06:53,248 --> 00:06:55,542
Fine. Any others?

135
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:59,712
Yes, I would like to reciprocate

136
00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:04,883
and nominate my brother, Niles Crane.

137
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,928
Are there any further nominations?

138
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:13,015
Well, then, a show of hands, please,
for those in favor of Frasier Crane.

139
00:07:13,974 --> 00:07:19,145
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14.

140
00:07:19,312 --> 00:07:21,647
And those in favor of Niles Crane.

141
00:07:22,523 --> 00:07:25,859
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12,

142
00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:27,652
13.

143
00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:32,740
Oh, 14. Oh, a tie.

144
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:36,827
If only our venerable founder, Virgil
Hefflewhite, were here to guide us.

145
00:07:36,911 --> 00:07:39,246
VIRGIL: I'm over here.

146
00:07:39,663 --> 00:07:41,956
Sorry, Virgil. Didn't see you.

147
00:07:42,123 --> 00:07:45,835
So, what is the procedure?

148
00:07:47,294 --> 00:07:49,588
Blind taste-off. Five bottles.

149
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:04,148
Oh, for God's sake, Niles, that
wine spent less time in the bottle.

150
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,854
All right, you have correctly
identified the first three wines.

151
00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:10,189
Let's see if number
four can break the tie.

152
00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:11,857
Niles?

153
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:15,111
It was ripe, round and
thoroughly seductive.

154
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:18,113
I said Australian Shiraz.

155
00:08:20,073 --> 00:08:22,658
-And, Frasier, what did you think?
-Contrary to my brother,

156
00:08:22,742 --> 00:08:25,786
I thought it was dark, dusky and supple.

157
00:08:26,578 --> 00:08:29,832
But I also said Australian Shiraz.

158
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:34,210
You're both right. We are still tied.

159
00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:35,670
Well, Niles,

160
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,588
it's the moment of truth.

161
00:08:37,755 --> 00:08:38,964
-Don't choke.
-Please.

162
00:08:39,172 --> 00:08:42,968
Prepare to be stomped like a
late-harvest Gewürztraminer.

163
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:53,143
[GURGLING]

164
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:03,944
Gentlemen?

165
00:09:04,903 --> 00:09:10,199
It was jammy, plummy, dense and chewy.

166
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:16,705
There is no doubt in my mind
that it was a Napa Valley Merlot.

167
00:09:16,913 --> 00:09:18,373
[CROWD MURMURS]

168
00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:22,334
-And you, Frasier?
-A nice, big wine with excellent heft.

169
00:09:22,543 --> 00:09:24,962
It's Napa, all right, but as I always say,

170
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:29,757
why go Merlot when you can call a cab?

171
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:33,845
I thought this bottle might trip you up.

172
00:09:34,053 --> 00:09:39,558
Gentlemen, it's actually a
blend of 45 percent Cabernet,

173
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:42,895
-And?
-and 55 percent Merlot.

174
00:09:43,102 --> 00:09:44,604
Niles wins by ten percent.

175
00:09:51,193 --> 00:09:53,486
Well, Niles, congratulations.

176
00:09:53,653 --> 00:09:56,072
-Obviously the better man won, and…
-Frasier, please.

177
00:09:56,156 --> 00:09:58,198
-No, Niles, don't be modest.
-No, I wasn't.

178
00:09:58,282 --> 00:10:00,409
They're starting my inauguration.

179
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,038
<i>♪ Hail corkmaster ♪</i>

180
00:10:04,205 --> 00:10:06,664
<i>♪ The master of the cork ♪</i>

181
00:10:06,831 --> 00:10:11,377
<i>♪ He knows which wine
goes with fish or pork ♪</i>

182
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:17,090
<i>♪ Hail corkmaster,
the master of the cork ♪</i>

183
00:10:18,675 --> 00:10:21,051
The purpose of this brunch
is to get to know Mel better,

184
00:10:21,135 --> 00:10:24,430
but it just irks the hell out of me,
preparing a sumptuous brunch

185
00:10:24,597 --> 00:10:26,639
for Niles after he betrayed
me at the wine club.

186
00:10:26,723 --> 00:10:29,559
Oh, would you shut up
about that corkmaster thing?

187
00:10:29,726 --> 00:10:33,313
I already hate you for
putting that song in my head.

188
00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:36,732
Okay, it's all clear.

189
00:10:42,028 --> 00:10:44,128
And thanks for dropping off my Tupperware.

190
00:10:44,239 --> 00:10:46,366
Oh, it's no trouble at all.

191
00:10:46,532 --> 00:10:49,868
I was headed out to church
this morning and I thought,

192
00:10:50,077 --> 00:10:53,914
-"Oh, Marty's right on the way."
-What's the matter with us?

193
00:10:54,081 --> 00:10:57,124
Oh, Martin, we have done nothing wrong.

194
00:10:57,291 --> 00:11:01,045
I mean, maybe we were a little
impetuous, but that's no crime.

195
00:11:01,212 --> 00:11:02,630
Yeah, I guess you're right.

196
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:06,549
Well, listen, thanks for
dropping by, and I'll call you.

197
00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:12,263
-Mrs. Wojadubakowski.
-Yeah, look who just got here.

198
00:11:12,429 --> 00:11:15,099
Come on in. How are you?

199
00:11:15,766 --> 00:11:18,666
I didn't even hear the doorbell ring.
What brings you here?

200
00:11:18,768 --> 00:11:22,146
Oh, she just brought
me back my chili bowl.

201
00:11:22,605 --> 00:11:24,689
Well, thanks a lot,
and I'll see you later.

202
00:11:24,773 --> 00:11:27,901
No, Dad, where are your manners?
Why don't you join us for brunch?

203
00:11:27,985 --> 00:11:31,154
I insist. I'm not sure that
we'll be able to give you

204
00:11:31,321 --> 00:11:34,282
a treat as spicy as the
one that Dad gave you, but…

205
00:11:38,619 --> 00:11:41,746
-Yes, he does make very good chili.
-Isn't that flattering, Dad?

206
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:43,830
You know, I think someone wants seconds.

207
00:11:47,501 --> 00:11:50,212
-Fras, could I see you in the kitchen?
-Yes, of course.

208
00:11:50,296 --> 00:11:52,589
Claire, you make yourself at home.

209
00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:57,093
Oh, splendid idea, Roz. Bloody Marys.

210
00:11:57,302 --> 00:11:59,345
Why don't you offer
one of those to Claire?

211
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:01,763
-Oh, I don't think she's got time.
-I'll ask her.

212
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,432
Mrs. Wojadubakowski,

213
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:07,144
Mr. Crane was wondering if
you have time for a quick one.

214
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:14,942
Look, Frasier, there's something
you should know about me and Claire.

215
00:12:15,859 --> 00:12:17,819
We just slept together.

216
00:12:19,529 --> 00:12:22,948
Are you sure?
She just got here two minutes ago.

217
00:12:23,324 --> 00:12:25,992
She was here earlier.
I just don't know what came over us.

218
00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:28,036
We couldn't keep our hands off each other.

219
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,788
We were like animals
or sex-crazed teenagers.

220
00:12:30,955 --> 00:12:33,582
-Well, what's wrong with that?
-I'll tell you what's wrong.

221
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:34,792
She's Stan's widow.

222
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:38,420
I mean, he didn't even like it
when I borrowed his lawn mower.

223
00:12:38,587 --> 00:12:40,922
Dad, listen, Stan's been gone a while now.

224
00:12:41,089 --> 00:12:42,539
I mean, you're not teenagers.

225
00:12:42,632 --> 00:12:45,050
You're two mature people
reaching out for companionship.

226
00:12:45,134 --> 00:12:48,679
-I think it's adorable.
-Adorable?

227
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:52,307
-Oh, good morning, Dr. Crane.
-Hello, Daphne.

228
00:12:52,515 --> 00:12:56,061
-My, isn't that a beautiful outfit.
-Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane.

229
00:12:56,227 --> 00:12:58,771
-How sweet.
-So just beep me if you need me.

230
00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:01,356
Greetings, all.
Mel, I think you know everyone.

231
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,525
-MARTIN: Hello, Mel.
-Hi, Mel. How are you?

232
00:13:03,609 --> 00:13:06,194
Oh, Mrs. Wojadubakowski,
what a nice surprise.

233
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:07,945
-This is Mel Karnofsky.
-Hello.

234
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,655
It's a pleasure to meet you.

235
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,116
Martin, I really have
to be getting to church.

236
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:15,619
Oh, yeah, sure, okay.
Well, I'll just walk you out.

237
00:13:15,786 --> 00:13:17,786
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

238
00:13:17,871 --> 00:13:19,331
Oh, thank you, thank you.

239
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:22,583
I understand Dad's been
doing what he can to fill the void.

240
00:13:25,378 --> 00:13:26,712
MARTIN: See you.

241
00:13:27,296 --> 00:13:29,797
-May I pour you a Bloody Mary, Mel?
-MEL: Not for me.

242
00:13:29,881 --> 00:13:32,341
It's a little early for hard
liquor, don't you think?

243
00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:34,302
Not anymore.

244
00:13:35,010 --> 00:13:37,763
Niles, let's get this
gravlax in the refrigerator.

245
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:40,808
Oh, hello, Eddie, or should I say goodbye?

246
00:13:40,974 --> 00:13:44,227
Well, Martin, I'm sure you'll be
locking Eddie out on the balcony

247
00:13:44,435 --> 00:13:46,729
if people are going to be eating here.

248
00:13:46,938 --> 00:13:50,857
Boy, I'll tell you who I'd like
to lock out on the balcony.

249
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:54,778
Oh, please, let it be me.

250
00:13:55,695 --> 00:13:58,488
Now, now, may I remind you
that we are having this little brunch

251
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,449
in order to get acquainted with Mel.

252
00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:02,658
We owe it to Niles to give her a chance.

253
00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:07,247
I agree with Dr. Crane.
We should all have another Bloody Mary.

254
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:11,667
-I didn't say that.
-It was implied.

255
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:14,711
Oh, Frasier? I almost forgot.

256
00:14:14,878 --> 00:14:17,631
The corkmaster and I
brought this along for you.

257
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,007
Well, thank you very much.
It's a lovely bottle.

258
00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:23,469
I guess Niles must have told
you about his 11th-hour victory.

259
00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:25,386
MEL: Oh, yes, and I'm so proud of him.

260
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:29,057
Well, let's give credit
where credit's due, to Mel.

261
00:14:29,266 --> 00:14:30,392
To Mel?

262
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,800
Well, yes.
It was her idea that I should run.

263
00:14:33,102 --> 00:14:34,645
Really? Well,

264
00:14:34,812 --> 00:14:37,106
perhaps I'll just put
this around the corner

265
00:14:37,273 --> 00:14:40,066
before the cork flies
out and hits someone.

266
00:14:43,027 --> 00:14:47,906
So after all these years of doing
tummy tucks and liposuctions,

267
00:14:48,574 --> 00:14:53,162
I can look at a fully clothed person
and see exactly what they look like naked.

268
00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:59,041
I can see every sag,
droop, ripple and pucker.

269
00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:00,751
It's like X-ray vision.

270
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,086
How interesting.

271
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:06,173
I think I'll go check on breakfast.

272
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,884
Let me give you a hand with that.

273
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:17,890
When you invited me, did
you say "brunch for Mel"

274
00:15:17,974 --> 00:15:19,434
or "brunch from hell"?

275
00:15:20,977 --> 00:15:23,479
That woman is unbearable.

276
00:15:23,645 --> 00:15:26,148
-Well, guess who's allergic to Eddie.
-Oh, boy.

277
00:15:26,315 --> 00:15:28,817
She wants a glass of
water to take her pill with.

278
00:15:29,151 --> 00:15:32,611
Boy, you know what I can't stand,
all that "sweetie, dearie, darling" stuff.

279
00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:37,325
I've never met anybody so phony.
Hello, dear, here's your water.

280
00:15:37,492 --> 00:15:39,534
Thank you, Martin.

281
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:42,871
Well, Frasier, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.

282
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:46,207
I just got beeped by my
service and I have to go.

283
00:15:46,415 --> 00:15:47,750
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.

284
00:15:47,958 --> 00:15:50,252
Thank you for brunch, though.
Thanks for inviting me.

285
00:15:50,336 --> 00:15:52,921
It's such a civilized way
to spend an afternoon.

286
00:15:53,087 --> 00:15:54,631
<i>♪ With her head tucked ♪</i>

287
00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:56,174
<i>♪ Underneath her arm ♪</i>

288
00:15:56,341 --> 00:15:59,302
<i>♪ She walks the bloody tower ♪</i>

289
00:15:59,469 --> 00:16:01,010
You know who that song's about?

290
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,972
-Bloody Mary?
-Oh, don't mind if I do.

291
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:08,100
Well, anyway, I better go.

292
00:16:08,309 --> 00:16:11,145
Darling, I have your coat.
I'll walk you to the elevator.

293
00:16:11,312 --> 00:16:14,689
Well, thank you all
for a lovely afternoon.

294
00:16:14,898 --> 00:16:17,526
-Yes, bye, Mel. Lovely to see you.
-Bye.

295
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:19,986
MARTIN: Well, that's a blessing.

296
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:23,030
-Now we can enjoy our breakfast.
-I doubt it.

297
00:16:23,239 --> 00:16:25,989
I was only allowed to make a
cheese-free, mushroom-free,

298
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:30,161
fat-free frittata, thanks to
the girl in the plastic bubble.

299
00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:33,540
I think I'll order a pizza.

300
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:39,211
You know, I have half a
mind to say something to Niles.

301
00:16:39,378 --> 00:16:40,962
He is making a terrible mistake.

302
00:16:41,046 --> 00:16:43,589
-Now, Frasier…
-But, Dad, it is Maris all over again.

303
00:16:43,673 --> 00:16:45,507
She's dominating him, emasculating him.

304
00:16:45,591 --> 00:16:48,677
I don't like her any more than you
do, and we've been through this before.

305
00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:50,970
I didn't like Lilith, we
both didn't like Maris,

306
00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:53,055
and you boys sure as
hell didn't like Sherry.

307
00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:54,765
What good did it do talking about it?

308
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:57,309
-He's repeating a terrible pattern.
-He's gonna repeat it

309
00:16:57,393 --> 00:16:59,478
whether you like it or not.
If you say anything,

310
00:16:59,562 --> 00:17:03,315
you're gonna drive a wedge between
you, so nobody's gonna say a word.

311
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,691
Well, it's a shame Mel had to leave.

312
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,486
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know, we were having such a good time.

313
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,154
Yes, Niles.

314
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,663
Actually, I was nervous
bringing her over here.

315
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,450
Well, I was concerned what you'd think,

316
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,084
you know, getting to really
know her the first time.

317
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:23,874
-So?
-I'm gonna go let Eddie in.

318
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:27,483
Come on, seriously, I want you
to be totally honest, really. Tell me.

319
00:17:27,794 --> 00:17:30,880
-What do you think of Mel?
-Oh, I don't like her at all.

320
00:17:31,089 --> 00:17:33,216
She's bossy and fussy and mean.

321
00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:37,678
She's all wrong for you.
Yes, I need a large pepperoni pizza.

322
00:17:37,886 --> 00:17:39,805
Yeah, and some cheese bread.

323
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:43,057
I'm sure she didn't mean that, Niles.

324
00:17:44,267 --> 00:17:47,061
Well, that was startling.

325
00:17:47,228 --> 00:17:48,895
Well, don't take that seriously, Niles.

326
00:17:48,979 --> 00:17:52,398
You know how women sometimes just
form irrational dislikes for one another.

327
00:17:52,482 --> 00:17:54,151
Oh, that's great.

328
00:17:54,318 --> 00:17:56,986
I leave the room for one
second and you rat me out.

329
00:17:57,194 --> 00:17:58,403
-No, Roz…
-That's okay.

330
00:17:58,487 --> 00:18:01,282
I don't have anything to hide.
And I'm not irrational.

331
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:05,869
She's pushy, demanding
and a gigantic pain in the ass.

332
00:18:08,204 --> 00:18:11,957
I'd dump her like radioactive waste.

333
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,420
Well, so that's two of
you in the anti-Mel camp.

334
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,714
Oh, did you tell him what
you thought of Mel too?

335
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:24,885
No, Daphne did.

336
00:18:25,135 --> 00:18:26,428
Oops.

337
00:18:28,639 --> 00:18:29,848
Frasier?

338
00:18:30,057 --> 00:18:31,974
I just think she's Maris all over again.

339
00:18:32,058 --> 00:18:34,726
She's manipulative. I think
you're repeating a terrible pattern.

340
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:37,896
Isn't this neat? We all have our
individual reasons for disliking her.

341
00:18:37,980 --> 00:18:39,814
Dad, what's your reason for disliking Mel?

342
00:18:39,898 --> 00:18:41,691
So you did tell him what you think of her,

343
00:18:41,775 --> 00:18:46,528
and after shoving me into the kitchen
and shaking your freaking finger at me.

344
00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:51,199
She's crazy, Niles.
I don't know what she's talking about.

345
00:18:51,283 --> 00:18:53,368
No, no, that's all right, Dad. I…

346
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:56,484
I asked you all to be honest,
and you were. I got my answer.

347
00:18:58,247 --> 00:18:59,748
You know what would've been nice,

348
00:18:59,832 --> 00:19:04,211
is if one of you could have found
one nice thing to say about her.

349
00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:14,637
She does have that X-ray vision.

350
00:19:24,269 --> 00:19:26,271
Did you talk to Niles?

351
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:29,816
I left a couple of
messages, but no answer.

352
00:19:29,982 --> 00:19:32,652
I think he's gonna have
to stay mad for a while.

353
00:19:32,819 --> 00:19:35,780
Yeah, well, that was a hell of
a brunch all the way around.

354
00:19:35,947 --> 00:19:37,155
For you as well as me.

355
00:19:38,657 --> 00:19:41,951
If you're talking about what happened
with you and Mrs. Wojadubakowski,

356
00:19:42,035 --> 00:19:45,579
-you have nothing to be ashamed of.
-Yeah, yeah, I guess.

357
00:19:46,122 --> 00:19:48,672
-So you're gonna see her again?
-Oh, I don't know.

358
00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:50,918
I don't think it's gonna work out.

359
00:19:51,085 --> 00:19:52,627
You're not still feeling guilty?

360
00:19:52,711 --> 00:19:56,548
No, what you said made a lot of sense.
I just think it's run its course.

361
00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:02,177
-Well, I have a theory.
-Oh, jeez.

362
00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:06,347
No, no, hear me out. I think by giving
you my approval to sleep with Claire,

363
00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:08,306
I've made it less exciting for you.

364
00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:10,601
There was a certain
illicitness to the relationship

365
00:20:10,685 --> 00:20:14,730
-that gave it a kind of piquancy.
-Frasier, it's Sunday. Take the day off.

366
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:18,442
Wait. Mr. Crane, you slept
with Mrs. Wojadubakowski?

367
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:21,527
Yes, I did. Isn't that adorable?

368
00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:24,822
No, it's disgusting, you dirty old man.

369
00:20:26,741 --> 00:20:30,076
Sleeping with that poor widow before
her husband's even cold in the ground.

370
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,411
-You think that was wrong?
-You're damn right I do.

371
00:20:32,495 --> 00:20:35,414
-You ought to be ashamed.
-See, I told you, Frasier.

372
00:20:36,331 --> 00:20:40,627
We live in a civilized society and there
are certain rules we have to live by.

373
00:20:41,462 --> 00:20:46,174
We all have impulses we'd
like to explore, but we don't.

374
00:20:47,008 --> 00:20:48,760
Daphne?

375
00:20:52,053 --> 00:20:54,723
Well, you can't just go
chasing anyone you fancy

376
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,099
just because you're
suddenly attracted to them.

377
00:20:57,183 --> 00:21:01,312
There are certain things you don't
do, no matter how tempted you are.

378
00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:06,399
-Boy, that was strange, wasn't it?
-I don't think it was strange at all.

379
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,277
Made a lot of sense to me.

380
00:21:10,111 --> 00:21:11,153
Where are you going?

381
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,990
Well, I'd better get over
to Claire's and apologize.

382
00:21:15,157 --> 00:21:18,075
And don't wait up for me, Frasier.

383
00:21:18,284 --> 00:21:21,120
I got a lot of apologizing to do.