1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,700
- Hey, Frasier.
- Oh, hi, Roz.

2
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,900
Checking out
the personal ads, huh?

3
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,700
Actually, I'm looking at the want ads.

4
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,600
I'm trying to find a housekeeper.

5
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:21,400
Now that Daphne is Niles' girlfriend,
it doesn't feel right for me

6
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,300
to ask her to pick up
after me anymore, so...

7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,800
It's awfully difficult
finding someone, though.

8
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,700
It's hard getting what you want
these days, isn't it?

9
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,900
Indeed.

10
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:36,000
But you can still find convenience
and value if you know where to look.

11
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,200
- Dear God, what are you selling?
- Wrapping paper.

12
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,300
It's a fundraiser for Alice's school.

13
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,200
- Well, at least it's a worthy cause.
- Yeah.

14
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,200
All right, let's have a look.

15
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,300
Oh, that one's too garish.

16
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,700
I don't like this one either.

17
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,500
Ooh, I'm certainly not crazy

18
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,400
- about Garfield.
- Oh, give me that.

19
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,400
You're getting five rolls
of Peace on Earth

20
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:58,800
and thanks for your support.

21
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,400
Roz.

22
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,000
<i>Macchiato.</i>

23
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,100
Make it a <i>doppio.</i>

24
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,200
FRASIER:
Niles.

25
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,600
Niles, please, whatever's wrong,
the answer doesn't lie

26
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,500
at the bottom of an espresso cup.

27
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,400
It's Mel again.

28
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,900
Oh, Lord. Still making you
humiliate yourself at social functions

29
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,700
while she plays
the long-suffering wife?

30
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,400
I'm afraid so.

31
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,200
But she said a couple more weeks
and I'll have my divorce.

32
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,000
She said that two weeks ago.

33
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:32,200
What was it this time?

34
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,600
Well, we attended Colonel Turner's
very large,

35
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:36,700
very high-Episcopalian funeral.

36
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,500
During the course of which,
my cell phone rang repeatedly.

37
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,400
I was not allowed to answer it.

38
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,000
And Mel had set the ringer
on "La Cucaracha."

39
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,100
- Oh, Niles, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, it's all right.

40
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,700
No, I called you twice.

41
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,700
Well, I ruined quite a sendoff.

42
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,000
There was an honour guard,
the colonel's butler seating people.

43
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:05,100
- Two archbishops presiding...
- Did you just say butler?

44
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,700
Oh, yes, I know.
An honest-to-goodness English butler.

45
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,500
The colonel was a bit
of an anachronism.

46
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,100
Oh, yes. It's amusing, really.

47
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,600
I suppose this butler
saw to the colonel's every need.

48
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,400
Oh, yeah, and clipped his cigars,
poured his scotch.

49
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,200
Laid out his clothes for him
and served him his meals.

50
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,900
- I saw him first.
- You had a gardener and maid.

51
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,200
- Never a butler. It's my dream.
- It's my turn.

52
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,100
Daphne won't have
to clean anymore.

53
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,100
I tip my cap, sir.

54
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:05,900
Ah.

55
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,500
Ferguson, is it morning already?

56
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,400
- Indeed, sir. I trust you slept well.
- Best sleep I've had in years.

57
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,600
- Excellent. Your coffee, sir.
- Thank you.

58
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,900
To think I was sceptical when you said
these pillows could be better arranged.

59
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,200
Yes. Preparing a suitable
sleeping environment

60
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,700
is one of the first tasks I learned
at my father's knee.

61
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,900
- Oh, your father also buttled?
- Oh, yes, sir.

62
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,300
Even my father's father
was a gentleman's gentleman.

63
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,500
Ha-ha.
That's a good one, Ferguson.

64
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,900
Thank you, sir.
It's one of my staples.

65
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,600
Will it be breakfast <i>en suite</i> today,
sir?

66
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,100
No, I believe I'll join
the rest of the household.

67
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,000
Very good, sir.

68
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,300
Thank you, Ferguson.

69
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,600
You spoil me. Keep it up.

70
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,400
Good morning, Dad, Daphne.

71
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,200
- Fras. Where's Lord Weirdo?
- Good morning.

72
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,700
Dad, his name is Ferguson.

73
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,700
[PHONE RINGING]

74
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,100
Good morning,
Dr. Crane's residence.

75
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,500
Oh, good morning, Dr. Crane.

76
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,800
Well, thank you, sir.
Your phone manner is also delightful.

77
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,400
- It's Dr. Crane for you, miss.
- Oh, thank you.

78
00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:27,700
Hello, Niles. Oh, yes.

79
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,300
- Dear God.
- What's wrong?

80
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,000
That politicking Alan Murchie

81
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,400
has just been elected president
of the opera board.

82
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:38,800
Yeah, I'll never forget where I was
when I heard the news.

83
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,900
This pinhead is president,
I can't even get on the board.

84
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:47,100
And what will you be sending
to congratulate Mr. Murchie, sir?

85
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,200
Curses and epithets
is all he'll get from me.

86
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,600
FERGUSON:
Quite right.

87
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:55,100
However, a well-chosen gift
might draw the eye of Mr. Murchie

88
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:59,500
as he considers a replacement
for his now-vacated seat on the board.

89
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,500
Well...

90
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,300
If it will make you happy, Ferguson,

91
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,000
let's send him
a bottle of Chateau Beliveau.

92
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,400
If I may, sir,
I've overheard Mr. Murchie

93
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,300
speak fondly of the family villa
in Umbria.

94
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:22,100
He may consider a wine
from that region especially thoughtful.

95
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,000
It's a little on the nose, but fine.

96
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,300
I love you too. Bye.

97
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,000
- Manchester, right?
- Is it that obvious?

98
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,600
Yeah, to me it is.
My mum's from Manchester.

99
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,900
Used to scream her lungs out
for United.

100
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,500
Is that so?

101
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:46,100
My Uncle Jack once tried
to get Bobby Charlton's autograph,

102
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,600
until Bobby cracked him
over the head with a can of lager.

103
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,700
Twelve stitches,
and he still has the can.

104
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,400
- Let me give you a hand tidying up.
- Oh, thank you, miss.

105
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:59,900
You know, you needn't stand
on ceremony for Dr. Crane's father.

106
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,600
- He prefers it if you're more informal.
- Oh, that's rather difficult for me.

107
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,600
I'm accustomed to formality.
Besides, I find it's more professional.

108
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:11,700
It helps draw the line
between a family and its servant.

109
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,400
- Are you referring to Niles and me?
- Well, that's none of my business.

110
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,600
No, it's all right. We're together.

111
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,000
He told me he'd been in love with me
for seven years,

112
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,100
and I couldn't help
but fall head over heels.

113
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,700
It was like a fairy tale.

114
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:29,000
Seven years? He sounds shy.

115
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,300
Oh, he is.

116
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,700
He was also married
for much of the time.

117
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,500
- But now your prince is free.
- Almost. He married someone else.

118
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,800
I see.

119
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,200
No, you don't understand.

120
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,200
Once that divorce goes through,
we'll be together forever.

121
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,100
Well, I hope it's moving swiftly
through the courts.

122
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,700
Oh, he hasn't filed yet.

123
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,900
But when his wife thinks the time
is right, which is soon, he will.

124
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,200
Well, not that she's in charge of us.

125
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,200
Oh, look, I've given you
the wrong impression.

126
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,800
Miss Moon, please understand
that this is not meant to be cruel.

127
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,200
But I've witnessed much heartbreak
in my career,

128
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,900
and I've come to know
that an employee-employer romance

129
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,200
has little chance of success.

130
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,300
The status relationship
will always exist.

131
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,600
Thank goodness
I'm not as cynical as you are.

132
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,300
True love is stronger than status.

133
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,700
I don't care what anyone says
or thinks.

134
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,700
Niles and I are in love.

135
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:34,600
Yeah, and don't spread that around.
It's a secret.

136
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,500
Next.

137
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,900
[MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]

138
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,500
Next.

139
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,500
[WEAPONS FIRING ON TV]

140
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,500
Next.

141
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,500
Oh, Shark Week. At ease.

142
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,400
Good day, all.

143
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:56,100
Hey, Fras, how'd your lunch go
with that opera guy?

144
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,100
Excellent, not only did Murchie
rave on and on

145
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,600
about the bottle
of Umbrian wine I sent,

146
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,700
but he intimated
that I was opera board timber.

147
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,300
[CHUCKLES]

148
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,000
Now all we have to do is continue
my charm offensive

149
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,400
with the other board members.

150
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,600
- Then might I suggest a party, sir?
- Oh, I'm way ahead of you this time.

151
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,100
I was thinking
of a little post-opera soiree next week

152
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,000
after the opening of <i>Turandot.</i>

153
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,800
If I may take the liberty, sir,
perhaps holding the party

154
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:27,000
prior to the opera might be easier
on the older guests.

155
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,700
Yes, good thinking. Yes, yes.

156
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:32,900
It's a very nice spin
on my initial insight of the party.

157
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,500
- You flatter me, sir.
- Ah.

158
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]

159
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:43,700
FRASIER: Hello, Niles.
- Hello, Frasier.

160
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,700
Ah, yes, Ferguson.

161
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,700
FERGUSON: How do you do, sir?
NILES: Very well.

162
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,900
- May I take your coat, sir?
- Certainly.

163
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,800
- Sherry, Dr. Crane?
- Oh, thank you, Ferguson,

164
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,000
but as we speak, I have a bottle
of Veuve Clicquot

165
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:03,000
chilling in my apartment.
And you know the old caution:

166
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:06,300
Champagne after sherry
makes tummy grow wary.

167
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,400
You have your brother's wit, sir.

168
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,300
So, Niles,
you're awfully chipper today.

169
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,400
And why not?
Daphne and I are going out on a date.

170
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:25,600
Well, Niles, what if somebody
sees you and reports back to Mel?

171
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,000
Mel be damned.

172
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,100
Daphne and I are going to have
a romantic evening at my apartment.

173
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,000
Not only that, she's going in my car,
in my backseat,

174
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,200
under a pile of my coats
and blankets.

175
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,900
[PHONE RINGS]

176
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,900
- That's my cell phone.
- Shall I?

177
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,500
- Can he?
- Would you?

178
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,500
Dr. Crane's line.

179
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,900
- I'm ready.
NILES: Oh, Daphne, you look ravishing.

180
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,700
Oh, thank you.

181
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,800
It's Mrs. Crane, sir.

182
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,300
NILES:
Hello, Mel.

183
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,500
What?

184
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,500
Wait a minute, I thought we agreed
24-hours notice. You can't just...

185
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:14,200
All right, I'll see you then.

186
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,000
FRASIER:
Everything all right, Niles?

187
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,300
It's Mel. She's having tea
with her sorority sisters

188
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,500
and would like me to show up.

189
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,300
Late, of course,
and preferably boorish.

190
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,500
Oh, for Pete's sake, I thought
this was supposed to be over by now.

191
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,000
Yes, well, so did I,
but as Mel so politely reminded me,

192
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,500
if I want this divorce
to be quick and simple,

193
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:34,300
I have to dance to her tune.

194
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,100
I'm sorry.
You understand, don't you?

195
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,900
- I guess so.
- That's my girl.

196
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,600
- I will make this up to you. I promise.
- You better get going.

197
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,100
You heard, didn't you?

198
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:01,800
No, I don't need that.
I mean, I know he loves me.

199
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,300
But it took him seven years
to tell me.

200
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,400
His ex-wife walked all over him,
and now Mel's doing the same thing.

201
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,300
What, is it gonna take
another seven years

202
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,800
before he stands up
for himself or for us?

203
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:16,800
- Why do you suppose he hasn't?
- I don't know.

204
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,600
For the first time,
I'm beginning to wonder if...

205
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,100
If maybe
there are too many differences.

206
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:27,000
Maybe he feels
he has too much to lose.

207
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:30,700
Oh, God, Ferguson,
maybe you were right.

208
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,000
[CORK POPS]

209
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,700
[LIQUID POURING]

210
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,000
I hope everything meets
with your approval, sir.

211
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,900
Oh, yes, indeed, indeed.

212
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,600
Where's Dad's chair?

213
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,700
I took the liberty of removing it
for the party.

214
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,100
But Dad will be furious.

215
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:59,700
And I completely forgot.
He'll be here,

216
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,800
swigging from a can
and guessing women's weight.

217
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,100
I'll be blackballed.

218
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,200
Oh, Dad, listen, about tonight...

219
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,300
Yeah, I'd love to hobnob
and whatnot,

220
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,500
but the Town Car's waiting
to take me to the game.

221
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,600
Thanks for the tickets, Fras.

222
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,600
Fergie.

223
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,200
Your meatloaf sandwich, sir.

224
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,700
And your finger.

225
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:31,000
- I hope you don't mind, sir.
FRASIER: Not at all.

226
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]

227
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:35,300
Ferguson, positions.

228
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,800
Oh, Niles, what are you doing here?

229
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,700
Don't panic.
I'm not crashing your party.

230
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000
I'm here to pick up Daphne.
We're going to the mall.

231
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,700
Really?

232
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:47,100
Well, no chance
of running into Mel there.

233
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,100
Should be a night to remember. We're
going someplace called The Limited.

234
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,700
Well, Daphne,
why aren't you dressed?

235
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,800
I'm not sure if I'm up
to going out tonight.

236
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,200
I really hate all this sneaking around.

237
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,200
It's not sneaking around.

238
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,900
We're gonna be out in public
at the Tacoma Mall.

239
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,000
And the most important thing
is we'll be together.

240
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,000
All right. I suppose
that really is what matters.

241
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,400
NILES: Now, tell me again,
what are we going to eat?

242
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,500
DAPHNE: Curly fries.
NILES: Ooh.

243
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,700
[DOORBELL RINGS]

244
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,500
Good evening, and welcome
to the home of Dr. Frasier...

245
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,600
FRASIER:
Oh, save it. It's just Roz.

246
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:29,600
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, your gift wrapping came in.

247
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,200
I thought I just ordered a few.

248
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,000
You were more generous
than you thought.

249
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,900
FERGUSON: I'll put it in your room, sir.
- Yeah.

250
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,200
You look like a gift giver.

251
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,500
Roz, you put it in my room.
He's working.

252
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]

253
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,600
Alan Murchie, lovely to see you.

254
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,800
Likewise.
I don't think you've met my wife, Diane.

255
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,100
<i>Enchanté.</i>

256
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,500
And this is Henry Worth,
another board member.

257
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,500
Henry. Lovely to meet you.

258
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,200
FERGUSON: May I take your coats?
- Oh, thank you.

259
00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,900
Yeah.

260
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,100
Frasier, isn't that
the colonel's old butler?

261
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,800
Yes, Ferguson.

262
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,600
My sense of duty compelled me
to take him in

263
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,900
after the colonel passed.

264
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:12,500
Yes. We felt the same sense of duty
toward his art collection.

265
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,700
Oh, that's very droll.

266
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,000
Excuse me.

267
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:22,300
- Collection. And the Family Pak
really is your best value.

268
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,400
Roz, Roz, what are you doing
out here?

269
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,700
I'm sure Mr. Worth
isn't interested in gift wrapping.

270
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,500
Nonsense. She's delightful.

271
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,100
Now, what kind of deal
would you give me

272
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,200
if I bought a hundred rolls?

273
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,600
I'd take off 20 percent.

274
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:38,800
And what would you take off
if I bought 5000 rolls?

275
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,000
Everything but my bracelets.

276
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,900
[LAUGHING]

277
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,900
Yes, sir.

278
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:57,200
Ah! Ted and Lois.
Oh, please, come in.

279
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,400
I hope you don't mind, but we had
an extra ticket, so we brought a friend.

280
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,700
Well, of course.
The more the merrier.

281
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,700
Good evening, Frasier.

282
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,100
Mel, what a delightful surprise.

283
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,200
I had no idea you knew the Fishers.

284
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,600
Niles, look who's here.

285
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,800
- Darling.
MEL: Niles.

286
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,300
I didn't think I'd see you here tonight.
I thought you were working late.

287
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,500
Oh, lucky me.

288
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,300
No. Lucky me.

289
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,000
Lucky all of us.
Please, won't you sit down?

290
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,500
What are you doing here?

291
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,000
Look, I didn't know
we were stopping by here on our way,

292
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,100
so just put on your party face
and deal with it.

293
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,000
Well, I'm sorry, I have plans.

294
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,700
Yes, you do.
To be by your wife's side.

295
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,300
Everybody good? Everybody happy?

296
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,000
Let's try to respect the feelings
and long-held dreams of others.

297
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,700
Don't worry, Frasier,
everything's going to be fine.

298
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,800
Fine? Fine for whom?
Is that code? What does that mean?

299
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,500
Daphne, Daphne, I'm so sorry.

300
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,700
Listen, this party can't last more
than an hour,

301
00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:00,900
and after that, we'll have
the whole evening together. I promise.

302
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,200
Please, don't make any more promises
you can't keep.

303
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,700
Oh, Niles, come over here
and listen to Ted's funny joke

304
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,600
about Communists and heaven.

305
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,800
Oh, I'm laughing already.

306
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,100
- Frasier, this party is a triumph.
- Oh, well...

307
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,600
I shouldn't be telling you this,
but if my straw poll is any indication,

308
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,200
we may be seeing you
at the next board meeting.

309
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,500
Oh, well, I hope you don't think
that's why I did this.

310
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,900
But it's certainly
a nice fringe benefit.

311
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:32,000
I'm no farmer, Crane,
but I can smell manure a mile away.

312
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,400
You'll be a welcome addition.

313
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,800
Oh, Ferguson. Ferguson, listen.

314
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,700
Make sure
that everyone has a champagne.

315
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,500
I have a little toast in mind
that I daresay will seal the deal.

316
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:50,600
By the by, don't make any plans
for New Year's Eve.

317
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,500
Lo and I are having a blowout
at our Mercer Island place.

318
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,700
Well, that's a very generous offer,
but...

319
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,000
Oh, we'd love to.

320
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,000
It'll give me a chance to wear
that new Valentino

321
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,600
- I might be getting for Christmas.
- Miss Moon?

322
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,800
Mel, may I see you for a moment?

323
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,500
- Well, actually, l...
- No, thank you.

324
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,600
Excuse us.
Excuse us just one second.

325
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,800
New Year's Eve with you?
Are you out of your mind?

326
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,100
Keep your voice down.

327
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,700
Look, I have gone along
with this charade because I hurt you,

328
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,100
but now you're just dragging it out
to be vindictive.

329
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,700
- I'm not gonna tolerate it any longer.
- What're you gonna do about it?

330
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,400
- Keep pushing me, you'll find out.
- Don't threaten me.

331
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,600
You made a promise,
and you're going to keep it.

332
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,500
Your wrap, madam.
Dr. Crane thanks you for coming.

333
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,300
Ferguson, Ferguson,
what in blue blazes are you doing?

334
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,400
Perhaps to spare you
some embarrassment, sir,

335
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,200
- I took the liberty...
- Stop.

336
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,700
You've been taking far too much liberty
with the liberty-taking. Please.

337
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,700
Just see that everyone
has some champagne.

338
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,300
Yes, sir.

339
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,100
There's no need to leave.
I would like to propose a toast.

340
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,100
NILES: No, Mel, why don't you listen
for once? I'm through.

341
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,600
MEL: I'll tell you when
you're through, you spineless twit,

342
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,100
and you're not even close!

343
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,900
Opera time! Opera time!

344
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,900
On to the show.

345
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,300
That's it, Mel.
I'm sick of these games.

346
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,800
- Niles, don't make a scene.
- I don't care.

347
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,300
I love Daphne and I'm not putting her
through this torture another second.

348
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,000
This sham of a marriage is over.

349
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,100
It's all right, dear. We've known
for some time he doesn't deserve you.

350
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,800
Well, you've seen
what I have to put up with.

351
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,900
I've tried so hard. I really have.

352
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,200
I don't know how you've put up
with him this long.

353
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,800
- I just want out.
- Don't worry.

354
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
I'll handle the divorce papers
personally.

355
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,300
This jackass will be out of your life
by the end of the week.

356
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,100
You mean it?

357
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,200
See you around, Crane.

358
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,600
I love you too.

359
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,200
Oh, come on, Frasier,
you don't wanna spend the evening

360
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:50,600
with those snobs anyway.

361
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,700
Yeah.

362
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,400
- Coming, Roz?
- Yeah, I'll be right there.

363
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:01,300
I'm just getting an early start
on the candy drive.

364
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,200
Frasier, I'm sorry
I ruined your evening.

365
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,100
That's all right, Niles.

366
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,400
It's a small price to pay
to finally see you and Daphne together.

367
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,700
It's true. We're free. No more hiding.

368
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Where do you wanna go?
Dinner? Dancing? London? Paris?

369
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,100
Why don't we go for a walk?

370
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:28,600
- Even better.
FERGUSON: If you'll allow me.

371
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,800
- Thank you, Ferguson.
FERGUSON: My pleasure, sir.

372
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:40,400
- Thank you, Ferguson.
- It was my privilege, Ms. Moon.

373
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,600
All right, Ferguson, we've got
some fences to mend with the board.

374
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,500
What do we send,
and to whom do we send it?

375
00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,900
Actually, sir, I regret to inform you
that I must tender my resignation.

376
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,500
Please, don't be upset
things didn't go well this evening.

377
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:06,300
I'll make it up to you.
Send yourself something.

378
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:13,000
Thank you, sir, but it's not you.

379
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,100
It was your brother and Ms. Moon.

380
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,600
His willingness
to break social rank has inspired me.

381
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:26,300
And there' a certain Lady Westerfield
whose acquaintance I'd like to renew.

382
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,800
Ah. True love and all that.

383
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,700
Well, good luck, Ferguson.

384
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,100
Thank you, sir.

385
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:39,700
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I had rather a difficult evening.

386
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,700
Think I'll just go take a sad soak
in the tub.

387
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:50,300
Sir, after such an evening, it's not right
for a man to draw his own bath,

388
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,500
so if I may take the liberty...

389
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,700
Carry on, Ferguson.