1
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,000
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

2
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:12,700
Hello.

3
00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:15,000
Niles! You're 40 minutes late.

4
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,000
I've just finished
my third basket of bread,

5
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,600
and there is an angry mob
breathing down my neck.

6
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:22,800
Oh.

7
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:26,100
You've torn your trouser cuff.
I'm so sorry.

8
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:27,800
For God's sakes, will you hurry up?

9
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:31,000
More hemming, less hawing.
All right.

10
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,000
I'll hold our table.

11
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Roz. Roz Doyle.

12
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I'll be right back.

13
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,400
- Hi, Frasier. I'm on a date.
- Hi, Roz.

14
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- Please don't screw it up.
- No, I won't.

15
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,500
Niles is running a little late,
and I was just hoping

16
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,700
maybe I could join you
while I wait for him.

17
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,100
I really don't think so.

18
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:54,100
- It's kind of a romantic evening.
- This crowd is starting to get ugly.

19
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,600
Would you let me come over there
till Niles gets here?

20
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,600
- Oh, all right, come on.
- Thank you.

21
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- Hi.
- Luke Parker, Frasier Crane.

22
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- He's joining us for a quick drink.
- Great, I've heard your show.

23
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,400
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, likewise.

24
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So, uh, well, uh,
how did you two kids meet?

25
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I moved to Seattle a month ago.

26
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I live on a boat,
and as I was pulling into the slip,

27
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Roz was standing right there
on the dock.

28
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Right there on the dock, you say?
Well, hmm...

29
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- I do live next to the marina.
- Ah, yes, yes, yes.

30
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:40,900
- So, Luke, you're a boat enthusiast?
- Do you know anything about boats?

31
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,100
Well, actually, on my show, I
sometimes compare the human psyche

32
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to a sailboat that's borne along
the surface of the conscious mind

33
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while the deeper waters of
the subconscious navigate the rudder.

34
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- So I guess the answer would be no.
- Yes.

35
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[BEEPER BEEPING]

36
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Oh, my babysitter.
I'll be right back.

37
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FRASIER: Right, right.
ROZ: Excuse me.

38
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Of course.

39
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,800
Ah...

40
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- So.
- So.

41
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,900
You know, uh, actually, I'm not
a total stranger to the old H2O.

42
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,900
- I did row crew at Harvard.
- I went to Harvard.

43
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,800
Ah, Harvard. Mm, God,
those were the best years of my life.

44
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,400
There's nothing like
that sense of accomplishment you get

45
00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:27,800
when they actually
hand you that diploma, is there?

46
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,300
I dropped out.

47
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:30,600
Ah.

48
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,000
Well, you didn't miss much.

49
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:36,100
I just got frustrated reading
about other people's experiences

50
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and never having any of my own.

51
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So I dropped out, I built my own boat,
and I sailed around the world.

52
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:44,300
Yeah, sometimes there's
more adventure than I bargained for.

53
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Like, uh, 20-foot seas
off the Hebrides

54
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or, uh, the time pirates rammed
my boat and robbed me at gunpoint.

55
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,900
Oh, yeah,
those guys can be pretty rough.

56
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:56,400
- You've had experience with pirates?
- Oh, no. No, no, it's just

57
00:02:56,700 --> 00:03:00,100
I saw a special once on <i>60 Minutes.</i>

58
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,600
You know, you should really
write down some of these stories.

59
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,000
I've thought about it,
but I'm not much of a writer.

60
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:09,800
Don't let that stop you. All you gotta do
is get it down on paper, sort it out later.

61
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,800
You know,
I'd be happy to lend a critical eye.

62
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:14,400
- Thanks. Might take you up on that.
- Okay.

63
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,500
I have to go.
Alice got a bead stuck up her nose.

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FRASIER:
Oh, Lord.

65
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,900
There's gotta be some way
to baby-proof her nostrils.

66
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,900
I'm sorry, Luke, we have to go.

67
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,800
You know, I could drop him off.

68
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,500
- Well, Frasier, that's very nice, but...
- No, no, it's fine.

69
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,000
You go take care of Alice
and I'll hang out with Frasier.

70
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,600
Don't you have to meet Niles?

71
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,300
Oh, he's had a tailoring emergency.
It could be hours.

72
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,100
- Well, I'll call you tomorrow, Luke.
- Okay.

73
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,000
ROZ: Bye.
- Bye, Roz.

74
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,500
He thinks I'm 31,
and I was in a Whitesnake video.

75
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,300
- Hi, Dad, welcome home.
- Oh, Fras, didn't hear you come in.

76
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,200
- How was the fishing trip?
- It was great.

77
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,900
The worst day of fishing
beats the best day of working.

78
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,300
Well, now that you've proven it, can
we take the sign out of the bathroom?

79
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,800
Oh, uh, Fras, you had
a phone call a little while ago.

80
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Uh, some guy by the name
of Lou or maybe...

81
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,200
- Luke?
- Yeah, Luke, that's it.

82
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Yeah, said he'd call back later.

83
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,700
Real friendly guy. Who is he?

84
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,200
Roz's new boyfriend.
They're getting quite serious.

85
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,500
- And he and I have hit it off as well.
- Oh, that's great.

86
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,900
Actually, it is.

87
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,900
With Niles spending more time
with Daphne,

88
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,800
I don't have anybody
to pal around with.

89
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,800
And, you know,
he's a really interesting guy.

90
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:27,100
He sails around the world
locating shipwrecks

91
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,100
- and salvaging treasure.
- Oh.

92
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,700
Yeah, he tells
some incredible stories.

93
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:35,600
You know, it's refreshing really.
Usually, I'm the cool friend.

94
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,800
- Sounds a little freewheeling for you.
- Oh, really?

95
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,900
Well, he's planning to salvage
a French trader

96
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,800
off the coast of British Columbia next,
and he's invited me along.

97
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]

98
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,900
Should be fun. You need a Dramamine
patch just to get into the bathtub.

99
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,800
- Ah, Niles.
- Hello.

100
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,800
Behold,
the prodigal pup returneth.

101
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Oh, look who's here.
Come on, boy.

102
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:06,500
Come on. There you go.
Oh, yeah.

103
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,100
Thanks for taking care of him
while I was gone, Niles.

104
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,600
- You're quite welcome.
- It was very thoughtful of you.

105
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,700
Unlike some people I know.

106
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It was absolutely essential
that I have my floors refinished,

107
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thanks to Edward Scissorpaws there.

108
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,000
[PHONE RINGS]

109
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,900
- Oh, thank you, Niles.
- You're welcome.

110
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:26,600
Hello. Yes, this is Frasier Crane.

111
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:30,000
What? I never touched your wife.

112
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,600
Never! Good Lord,
I've never even heard of...

113
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,900
Oh, Luke.
Oh, God, you got me again.

114
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:43,300
God. You know, that's six to one.
I did so get one.

115
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,400
- Hey, Niles.
- Hello, my love.

116
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,800
Oh, I'm sorry, I must look a mess.
I've been cleaning fish all afternoon.

117
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,400
Oh, please, your beauty
cannot be obscured

118
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,900
by mere entrails or scales or...

119
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,400
Is that an eye?

120
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,200
- I'll go wash up.
- Oh, if you like.

121
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,400
Hope Eddie wasn't a lot of trouble.

122
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,700
Please, Dad,
he was the perfect houseguest.

123
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,300
Give me the details. Did he eat?

124
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,700
Oh, like a horse.

125
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,500
- Slept well?
- Like a log.

126
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,200
- Was he regular?
- We're done here, Dad.

127
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,900
Just to let you know,
I really appreciate what you did for me.

128
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:24,800
Please, it was my pleasure.
I'm really gonna miss the little guy.

129
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:28,300
- We actually started to bond.
- Oh, that's great. Oh.

130
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,300
What's this tag?

131
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,900
Oh, uh... That's nothing. That's, uh...
They put that on at the park.

132
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:39,100
Bark Avenue? That's a kennel.

133
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,000
You dumped him off at a kennel?

134
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:44,200
No, no, Dad, actually,
it's more of a spa than a kennel.

135
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:48,200
I trusted you with Eddie
and you betrayed that trust.

136
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,000
Why'd you do it, son?

137
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,600
NILES:
Well, Dad,

138
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,000
it took Italian artisans three weeks
to stain my Venetian umbrella stand,

139
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,200
and it took Eddie about 20 seconds.

140
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,400
If I wanted him in a kennel,
I would've put him in one myself.

141
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:05,600
- Well, Dad, I'm sorry.
- Well, so am I.

142
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,500
Come on, Eddie,
I'll give you a bath.

143
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,100
Who knows what you picked up
in that flea-trap.

144
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,600
[DOORBELL RINGS]

145
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,500
Well, it was a lot nicer than that place
you made us stay at Yellowstone.

146
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:21,300
- Oh, hi, Roz.
- I need a drink and I need it fast.

147
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,700
I'll get the sherry.

148
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,400
Don't waste your time.
I've got grown-up problems.

149
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:32,000
Ah, the 25-year-old Glenfarclas.

150
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,200
Excellent choice. No sense
going for the 12-year-old stuff.

151
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,900
- Luke's a slimebag.
- Oh, what happened?

152
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,400
I saw him sitting in a café
with his arms around some blond.

153
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:47,300
They were all over each other.
I told him off. We're through.

154
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,700
I'm so sorry, Roz.
Come here. Oh...

155
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,600
- I really liked him.
- I know.

156
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,400
- I thought he liked me.
- Yes.

157
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,400
I just got off the phone with him
and he didn't even mention it.

158
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,300
He can't think I'd be his friend
after he treated you this way.

159
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,600
Well, I'm really glad
to hear you say that.

160
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,000
- I mean, you were my friend first.
- Yes, of course.

161
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:10,200
Oh, come on, I'll get you through this.
Come on.

162
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:11,900
[ROZ SNIFFS]

163
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,500
Thank you, Frasier.

164
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:16,300
You know what?
I'm feeling better already.

165
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,500
Oh, maybe I don't even need that.

166
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:19,900
[FRASIER GASPS]

167
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,100
Frasier.

168
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,600
- What are you doing?
- Uh...

169
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:44,300
I was just returning your
<i>Chapman's Nautical Guide</i> there. Uh...

170
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,800
- I just wanted to drop it off, actually.
- Without saying hello?

171
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,600
Well, I had a talk with Roz.

172
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,900
Oh, I see.

173
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,100
Well, look, if it makes any difference,
that woman was an old girlfriend.

174
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,200
She came to town,
invited me to lunch,

175
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,000
we ordered martinis,
and the next thing you know,

176
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,900
she was all over me.

177
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,600
- You know how it is.
- Of course, I mean...

178
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:16,000
But, uh... Roz is my friend.

179
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,000
Take care.

180
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,000
- You too, Frasier.
- Okay.

181
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,900
By the way,
thanks for your advice.

182
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,700
I, uh... I started writing down

183
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:25,200
- some of those stories.
- Oh.

184
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,900
I wrote the one about the pirates
and the South American one.

185
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,900
Don't forget the one
about the giant squid.

186
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,300
That was just a joke.

187
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,800
[LAUGHING]

188
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000
Gosh, you did it again, didn't you?

189
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,700
Oh, you know,
I'm gonna miss that.

190
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,300
Ah...

191
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,700
- See you around.
- Okay.

192
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,500
Say, Luke, uh, you know,
here's a tip:

193
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,600
You might try writing
in the present tense.

194
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,000
It has a way of giving things
a sense of urgency.

195
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,500
That's great. I'll try it.

196
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,500
If you hadn't been so thoughtless,

197
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,300
we'd be heading for that sushi bar
and be reviewing those notes.

198
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,500
Yeah?
Maybe that waitress would be there.

199
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:08,200
- I think she likes you.
- Oh, she does not.

200
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,300
- You know what's ironic?
- Mm?

201
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,900
If I had met you separately from Roz,
this wouldn't even be an issue.

202
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,500
No, it wouldn't.

203
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,800
And you know, truth be told,
when you think about it,

204
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,000
I mean, our friendship does exist
independently of her.

205
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:25,200
That's true. I mean,
if you take Roz out of the equation,

206
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,700
- does our friendship disappear?
- It shouldn't.

207
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,300
Of course, for Roz's sake, we'd
have to keep this between ourselves.

208
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,500
- No need to rub it in her face.
- Oh, agreed.

209
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,000
But, for the record,
I do not condone your behaviour.

210
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,300
I wouldn't expect you to.

211
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,900
I hope they haven't run out
of yellowtail.

212
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,800
[FRASIER CHUCKLES]

213
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,300
FRASIER:
Here...

214
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,100
ROZ: Thanks for dragging me
out of the house.

215
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,200
It's been a rough week,
it helps to have a friend.

216
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,100
Yeah. Heh-heh-heh.

217
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,200
Roz, trust me,
you will eventually get over Luke.

218
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,900
Well, he's not having any trouble
getting over me.

219
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,600
I saw him leaving his boat last night
with someone.

220
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,300
Really? Did you, uh...?

221
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,900
- Did you get a good look at them?
- Only from behind, some fat chick.

222
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:17,200
Fat? Well, it was
kind of cold out last night.

223
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,900
- There may have been layers involved.
- Yeah, layers of fat.

224
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:25,000
Frasier, it's getting so late.
I should go.

225
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,600
- Oh, uh, right, okay.
- Thanks for listening.

226
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,300
Well, of course, Roz.

227
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,200
If you ever see me falling for some
creep like that again, smack me.

228
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,600
Don't give it another thought.
You know what? He's not worth it.

229
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000
- Good night.
- Good night.

230
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,900
Luke? It's Fras.

231
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:47,700
Yeah. Uh, listen, I'm free,
and I thought maybe I'd swing by.

232
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,400
We can, uh, go over
and catch Marsalis at the jazz café.

233
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,800
Yeah, because thar he blows.

234
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,600
[LAUGHS]

235
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,200
No, no, it just came to me. Yeah.

236
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,400
All right, Luke, I'll see you soon. Bye.

237
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,900
Some friend you are.

238
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,800
How can you be with that rutting pig
after what he did?

239
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:12,000
I don't see what's so wrong about
being friends with Roz's ex-boyfriend.

240
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,000
If there's nothing wrong with it,
why are you hiding it from Roz?

241
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,400
Well, because I, um... Uh...

242
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:21,600
Dad, a man has a right
to choose his own friends, doesn't he?

243
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,600
Sure. Of course,
I think you're a rotten Judas

244
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:26,200
for stabbing Roz in the back
this way.

245
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,300
Did you hear that? He said sure.

246
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,100
[CHATTERING]

247
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,100
Guess what I have?

248
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,100
Two tickets
to the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra.

249
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,700
The Orpheus?

250
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,000
Niles, nobody handles Handel
like they handle Handel.

251
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,300
[BOTH LAUGHING]

252
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,400
But wouldn't you
rather take Daphne?

253
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,400
Oh, she wouldn't enjoy it.
I took her to the opera last week.

254
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,600
Halfway through <i>Das Rheingold</i>
she fell asleep.

255
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,100
- Astonishing.
- Yes, well, it gets worse.

256
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,900
She snorted in her sleep,
and startled Wotan,

257
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,600
causing him to drop his spear
on an unsuspecting gnome.

258
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,300
Oh.

259
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,900
So are you free tonight?

260
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,500
Gosh, Niles, I'm sorry.
I've got plans with Luke.

261
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,400
Oh, yes, your much-ballyhooed
new best friend.

262
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,100
- Is that who the gift is for?
- No, no, this is for Roz.

263
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,600
Oh, a guilt offering.

264
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:18,900
I suppose there's some truth to that.
You know, frankly, I'm torn.

265
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,200
Part of me thinks I should tell her,
but I just know it would devastate her.

266
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,900
She's a broken woman.

267
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,400
I'm glad
I bumped into you yesterday.

268
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,900
And twice this morning.

269
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,800
[ROZ GIGGLES]

270
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:37,200
- Buy you coffee?
- Sure.

271
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,600
[ROZ GASPS]

272
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:39,900
Oh, my God,
Frasier's in there.

273
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,500
He can't see us. I don't want him
to know we're back together.

274
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,300
- I don't think...
- You don't know him.

275
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,900
He's been very supportive,
and if he sees us together again,

276
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,400
he'll just think I'm weak.

277
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,600
Which I am.

278
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:51,900
ROZ:
Mm.

279
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,600
- Come on, there are no pirates.
- Sure there are.

280
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,900
Luke was pillaged.

281
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,400
That is so cool.

282
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,900
[CHUCKLING]

283
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,200
- Hi, guys.
- Oh, hi, Roz.

284
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,800
- Uh...
- Hey, Roz.

285
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,900
I have a little something
here for you.

286
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,300
- For me?
- Yes.

287
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,700
- What's the occasion?
- Why do I need an occasion, Roz?

288
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,000
It's trying to show a friend
I'm thinking of her in her time of crisis.

289
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,500
Oh, Frasier,
I don't deserve your friendship.

290
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,400
No, I do not deserve
your friendship.

291
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,500
I deserve my own table.
Excuse me.

292
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:22,400
[FRASIER
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

293
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,700
You know what?

294
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
- I'll take you out to dinner tonight.
- Tonight?

295
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,500
Yes, you've been so great
about this whole Luke thing.

296
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,600
I mean, the least I could do
is buy you a meal.

297
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:34,400
Well, all right, Roz, I accept.
Um, would you excuse me?

298
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:36,200
Sure.

299
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,800
Luke-o. F-man.

300
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,900
Yeah, listen, um,
something's come up tonight,

301
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:52,200
and, uh, I won't be able to make it,
all right? Great. Bye.

302
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,700
[FRASIER CHUCKLES]

303
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,500
Roz, where would you like
to go tonight?

304
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,700
Chez Henri has the most splendid
oxtail terrine.

305
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:58,900
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

306
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,300
ROZ:
Excuse me.

307
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,000
Hello? Oh, hi.

308
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:06,800
- Just a sec. I really need to take this.
- Of course.

309
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,200
Hi, Luke.

310
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:14,000
Oh, damn. I just made plans.

311
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,100
Well, if you put it that way,
how can I say no?

312
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,200
I'll see you at 8. Okay.

313
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,200
Bad news, Frasier.

314
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:28,400
My babysitter is all booked up,
so can we rearrange dinner?

315
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,000
What a shame. Excuse me.

316
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,200
Yeah, Luke, it's Fras again.

317
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:45,500
Listen, my plans just got cancelled,
and I was thinking maybe we could...

318
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,200
Oh, really?
Well, that was kind of quick, wasn't it?

319
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,200
Well, no problem.

320
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,700
All right, yeah,
I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.

321
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,600
Frasier, this is the bracelet
I wanted.

322
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,400
Yes, I remembered.

323
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:01,000
- Oh, you're such a good friend.
- Here.

324
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,100
So caring and thoughtful

325
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,600
and loyal.

326
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,700
I gotta make a phone call.
I'll be right back.

327
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,400
Luke, it's Roz again. Bad news.

328
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:17,300
Oh, Niles, as it turns out
I am available for that concert tonight.

329
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,000
No, you're not.

330
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,900
[FOOTSTEPS]

331
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,000
DAPHNE:
Going out with Luke, I suppose.

332
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,100
As a matter of fact,
I'm having dinner with Roz.

333
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,200
And I will have a clear conscience

334
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:36,100
because first, I am going to stop by
Luke's and end our friendship.

335
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:39,100
Well, I guess our little chat
had an impact.

336
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,500
So it did.

337
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,700
[DOORBELL RINGS]

338
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,900
Lmagine that,
me giving advice to a psychiatrist.

339
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,600
Maybe I should be on the radio
and you should do the laundry.

340
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:51,900
Yes, what a merry time of misrule
that would be.

341
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,000
- Hello.
- Oh, Niles. What are you doing here?

342
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,800
Well, I'm taking Daphne
to the concert.

343
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,400
Yes, he said he'd rather go with me
than anyone else.

344
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,200
Indeed. Well, sweet dreams.

345
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,100
Hey, sweetie.

346
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,300
- Hello.
- Hello.

347
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,300
- This is for you.
- Oh, truffles.

348
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,100
- My favourite.
- Ha-ha-ha.

349
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,700
You are so sweet.
You say that about everything I bring.

350
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,300
- Oh, Daph, you look great.
- Thanks.

351
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,000
Niles.

352
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,400
Dad, I know you're still peeved
about me taking Eddie to the spa.

353
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:26,900
Kennel.

354
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,700
Anyway,
I brought a little peace offering.

355
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,600
Bribe.

356
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,100
Dad,
it's from Smoky Mountain Farms.

357
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:39,100
Five different meats in one big box.

358
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,300
Not the Slaughterhouse Five.

359
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,800
They don't make
a Slaughterhouse Three.

360
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,300
Oh.

361
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000
Dad, I'm so sorry.

362
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,000
Oh, well, I was disappointed, but...

363
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:58,400
I don't want you to think you can't trust
me. I will never let you down again.

364
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,200
Well, thanks, Niles.
Listen, I'm taking Eddie out for a walk.

365
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,900
Why don't you come along?
We can shoot the breeze.

366
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,900
Oh, uh...

367
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,100
Oh, go on. I need
a few more minutes to get ready.

368
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,300
Well, uh...

369
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,900
- Once around the block.
- All right. Come on, Eddie.

370
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,300
DAPHNE:
Take your time.

371
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,300
Dad, thanks
for not holding a grudge.

372
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,900
I know how much
Eddie means to you.

373
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,600
Oh, I forgot my jacket.
Here, hold onto this.

374
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,600
- Put the leash on him, be right back.
- Okay. All right, all right.

375
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,400
Here you go.

376
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,500
Oh, uh, it's all right.
I'm waiting for someone.

377
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,500
Oh.

378
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,800
Stop, stop, stop.

379
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
[GASPING]

380
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,100
Thank you, thank you.
It's okay. It's okay.

381
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,400
All right. It's okay.
It's all right. Right.

382
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,700
Okay. Okay.

383
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,200
Come on, slowpoke.

384
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:05,100
Luke? Surprise, it's Roz.

385
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,500
Luke? Luke, are you home?

386
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,700
I got an hour to kill before dinner.

387
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,500
LUKE:
Come onboard. I'll pour you a drink.

388
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:25,600
WOMAN: You really live here?
I think boats are so sexy.

389
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,500
- Aah!
- Hello, Roz.

390
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,700
- What are you doing here?
- Well, I stopped by to see Luke.

391
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,700
I heard you coming,
and I came inside here.

392
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,300
LUKE: Watch your step.
- Shove over.

393
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,900
After everything he did to me,

394
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:41,800
you stayed friends with him,
didn't you?

395
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:43,900
You started seeing him again
without telling me.

396
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,200
[MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

397
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,200
You have the most incredible eyes.

398
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,100
That bastard! He told me
I had the most incredible eyes.

399
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,100
Roz, Roz,
we can't let him know we're here.

400
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,600
WOMAN: What are all these pages?
LUKE: I'm writing a book.

401
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:59,100
But I'm having a little trouble.
Maybe you could be my inspiration.

402
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,800
That bastard!
He told me I was his inspiration.

403
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:11,300
We may as well
make ourselves comfortable.

404
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:16,300
[BOTH GRUNTING]

405
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,800
I guess I should have told you
we got back together.

406
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,100
No, I should apologise, actually.

407
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,000
After the way he treated you,

408
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,000
I shouldn't have been
hanging around with him.

409
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,500
You liked him.

410
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:34,300
Truth be told,
I don't really make friends very often.

411
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,900
In fact, the last true friend I made
was you.

412
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,500
- Oh, yuck.
- Too much?

413
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,600
No, I'm sitting in something wet.

414
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,200
- Well, just get up.
- I can't, I'm caught in something.

415
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,600
Here, all right,
let me give you a hand.

416
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,100
ROZ:
Oh.

417
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,500
[HISSING]

418
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,800
ROZ:
Oh...

419
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,400
You've got a lot of explaining to do.

420
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,400
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]