1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,000
Well, Roz, I think we have just
enough time for one more call.

2
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:14,100
Okay, we have Andy
from Bremerton on line three.

3
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,000
Hello, Andy, I'm listening.

4
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,100
MAN: <i>Am I on?</i>
- Yes, go ahead.

5
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,000
<i>Can you hear me?</i>

6
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:22,500
Yes, you're on the air.

7
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,400
- <i>Hello?</i>
- You're on.

8
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,400
- <i>Am I on?</i>
- Not anymore.

9
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:34,800
This is Dr. Frasier Crane on KACL
wishing you good mental health.

10
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,000
- Gather around, everyone.
FRASIER: Oh, Kenny, what's all this?

11
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,300
I'm here to officially announce
this year's SeaBea nominations.

12
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,000
- Ooh!
- Oh, well.

13
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:46,400
He made us wait until your show
was over. It was interminable.

14
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:52,400
First of all, KACL has been nominated
for a total of nine SeaBeas.

15
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:54,500
- Isn't that great?
WOMAN: Oh, that's great.

16
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,800
Which ties us with KPX,
the mighty PIXY

17
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,800
- for most nominations.
- The mighty PIXY, they do well.

18
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,100
All the nominees were chosen
by a panel of experts...

19
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,600
- Give me that.
- Good girl, Roz.

20
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,000
Oh, oh, here's one.
Best restaurant critic, Gil Chesterton.

21
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,300
Oh, congratulations, Gil.

22
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,400
Thank God I'm nominated.

23
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,600
And I won't have to attend
the Chestertons.

24
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,200
The Chestertons?

25
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,600
It's an elaborate awards show
my wife and the dogs put on

26
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,200
when I'm overlooked
by the SeaBeas.

27
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,900
Roz, I don't see our names
anywhere.

28
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,800
No, nothing.
We've been shut out. I can't believe it.

29
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,200
Well, what do I have here?

30
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,600
- There are more awards?
KENNY: Maybe.

31
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,600
I guess you'll just have to listen
and find out.

32
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,400
"Since 1962,
the Seattle Broadcasting Community..."

33
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,900
Give me that.

34
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,700
Oh, my God, Frasier, you're getting
the Lifetime Achievement Award.

35
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,800
What? Are you serious?

36
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,800
Give me that.

37
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:55,500
Hurts, doesn't it?

38
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:05,000
When I was a boy, my parents
told me to reach for the stars.

39
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,300
Sadly, I later learned that stars

40
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:14,000
are just massive, fiery balls of gas,

41
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:20,000
which, were I to reach one,
would vaporise me instantly.

42
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,600
But tonight,

43
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,200
with the Stephen R. Shafer
Lifetime Achievement Award,

44
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:32,200
you tell me
that I have reached you, and you,

45
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:37,200
ladies and gentlemen, are my stars.

46
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,100
And that's where
you would applaud.

47
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,600
I gotta say, Fras, it's really something,
you getting this award.

48
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,400
Yes, Dad,
it's actually quite an honour.

49
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:56,800
[DOORBELL RINGS]

50
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,900
You know, customarily they
give them out to much older people.

51
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,900
Oh, Niles. Flowers,
how very thoughtful of you.

52
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,500
- They're not from me.
- Well, thank you for bringing them up.

53
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,100
They were just outside the door.

54
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,900
Thanks for bending over
to pick them up.

55
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,200
- It wasn't that far. The handle sticks...
- Just give them to me.

56
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:22,000
"Congratulations, Frasier,
you must be very proud.

57
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,600
William Tewksbury."

58
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:27,300
- Who's that?
- It's my old mentor from Harvard, Dad.

59
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,300
Gosh, you know,
I read in the Alumni Newsletter

60
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,400
that he was taking his sabbatical here
at the University of Washington.

61
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:35,700
- I've been meaning to call him.
- Niles, there's something here for you.

62
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,200
For me? What for?

63
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,800
Well, this may be Frasier's night,

64
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,900
but I just want you to know
that I have two special sons.

65
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,200
Oh, well...

66
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:45,000
Dad, how considerate.

67
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:49,400
"World's Greatest Psychiatrist."

68
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,200
See, your brother's not the only one
getting a prize tonight.

69
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,700
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, there's my little rosebud.

70
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,700
Hello.

71
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,400
Is it my imagination, or has she
gained weight since breakfast?

72
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,100
Which seating, 8, 9 or 10?

73
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,700
Oh, darling, you're undone.

74
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,700
I know.
This dress used to fit perfectly.

75
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,800
Now I can't even get it zipped
halfway up.

76
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,300
Those bloody cleaners
must have shrunk it.

77
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,800
NILES:
Let me give it a try.

78
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,800
[NILES GROANS]

79
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,800
Oh, my.

80
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,800
Well, maybe if I put a jacket on.
Will you come help me pick one out?

81
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,700
Sure, sure.
You should switch dry cleaners.

82
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,700
That's the third dress
they've shrunk this week.

83
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,800
Dad, what do you make of this?

84
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,800
"Congratulations, Frasier,
you must be very proud."

85
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,700
Well, I'd say he's happy for you.

86
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,700
Of course, I was a detective,
so it comes easy to me.

87
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,600
He doesn't say he's proud of me.

88
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,100
He says that I should be proud
of myself.

89
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,700
- Doesn't that seem a bit odd to you?
- No, you're splitting hairs.

90
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,700
You don't know Dr. Tewksbury
like I do.

91
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,800
He wouldn't say something like this

92
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,600
unless he meant
to say something else.

93
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,400
You're gonna let this ruin
the night for you, aren't you?

94
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,500
No, no, of course not, Dad.
I just think it's interesting, that's all.

95
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,100
I'm gonna head over
the SeaBeas a little early.

96
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,700
- I'll see you there.
- Why?

97
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,600
Well, I thought I should familiarise
myself with the dais.

98
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,800
- Frasier, it's just a note.
- I know, Dad.

99
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,000
- It doesn't mean anything.
- I know, Dad.

100
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,600
- Say hi to Dr. Tewksbury for me.
- I will, Dad.

101
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,800
Dr. Tewksbury?

102
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,500
Frasier Crane.

103
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,000
Of course.

104
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:36,300
- Frasier. Oh, it's good to see you.
- Likewise.

105
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:40,800
- How long has it been?
- Oh, gosh, l... Gee, perhaps 20 years.

106
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,800
- That long?
- Yes.

107
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,000
Actually, I was on my way
to the awards ceremony,

108
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,800
and I thought I'd drop by
and thank you for the flowers.

109
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,200
- And the card.
- You're welcome.

110
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,500
- It was very thoughtful of you.
- I was happy to do it.

111
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,700
- Particularly the card.
- I'm glad you liked it.

112
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,300
All right, let's cut the bull.

113
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,000
"You must be very proud."

114
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,500
Why not "I'm proud of you"?

115
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,900
Why speculation
rather than declaration?

116
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,200
- What?
- We both know there are no mistakes.

117
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:11,100
There must have been some reason,
either conscious or subconscious,

118
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,800
that you chose these words.

119
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,200
Frasier,
I have a confession to make.

120
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,000
- Ah.
- My assistant wrote the card.

121
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,400
Oh.

122
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,200
When I heard
you were getting an award,

123
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:26,100
I asked her to send flowers
with a note of congratulations.

124
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,700
I'm afraid you've been
over-analysing.

125
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,900
I see.

126
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,400
Then again, perhaps
in that order to your assistant,

127
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,000
you subconsciously
communicated an emotion

128
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,800
that you couldn't
or didn't want to acknowledge.

129
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,500
Or perhaps your subconscious
assigned new meaning

130
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,100
to the words to reflect
your own self-doubt.

131
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:50,400
But all art is self-portraiture,
and that includes the written word.

132
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,700
However, we can only view art
through the lens of our own psyches.

133
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,600
Then there is no pure art.

134
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,300
How would you know?

135
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,600
God, I've missed you.

136
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,100
Oh, Frasier.

137
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,000
Of course I'm proud of you.

138
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,500
Oh, thank you.
It's so nice to know that.

139
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,400
It really is. Thank you.

140
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,300
I really wish
we had more time to talk,

141
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,300
but I'm taking my wife out
to dinner tonight.

142
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,600
I wanna pick up some flowers
before the shops close.

143
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:16,900
Yes, yes, of course.

144
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:20,000
This time,
I think I'll write the card myself.

145
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,500
Yes, that's a good idea.

146
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,700
Gosh, it was great to see you again.

147
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,500
Yes.

148
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,100
- Let's get together some evening.
- Oh, I'd like that.

149
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,500
It's not often I get to dine
with the recipient

150
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,400
of a lifetime achievement award.

151
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,900
Please, it's just a trinket
for a little radio show I do.

152
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,000
Oh, not that by "little"
I mean to minimise my achievement.

153
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,400
- I know.
- I know you know.

154
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,700
I just wanna be clear,

155
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,800
so that you don't infer any meanings
that aren't actually there.

156
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,300
What might I infer?

157
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,600
Oh, that I'm somehow dissatisfied
with my work, something like that.

158
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,900
You also called the award a "trinket."

159
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,100
Can you imagine
what I might have done with that?

160
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,500
FRASIER:
Yes, exactly.

161
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,900
A lesser therapist might say
that I didn't think much of an award

162
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,500
that they're willing to give
to the likes of me.

163
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,300
Mm. I suppose if one
were looking hard enough,

164
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,200
one could even say
your coming down here

165
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,300
was a desperate quest for approval.

166
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:15,000
Oh, well, that one's
a little out there. Yes.

167
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,800
Frasier, you don't have to worry.
I'm not inferring anything.

168
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,300
Enjoy yourself this evening.

169
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,100
I will.

170
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:29,400
- Because tonight is my night.
- Yes.

171
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:33,200
- So long, professor.
- Goodbye.

172
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,800
Oh, Frasier.

173
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,100
[CHUCKLES]

174
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,100
Frasier?

175
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,700
What the hell is wrong with me?

176
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,300
Yes, dear,
I know we have reservations,

177
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,800
but one of my former students
is having a minor crisis.

178
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,400
I'll be there in half an hour.

179
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,800
What does it all mean?

180
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,800
Make it an hour.

181
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,800
- Hello, everybody.
MARTIN: Oh, hey, Roz. Whoa!

182
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,900
- You look great, Roz.
- Yeah. That's a beautiful dress.

183
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,800
Thank you,
and after two weeks of eating

184
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,400
delicious fat-burning cabbage soup,
it finally fits.

185
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,600
Niles made me cabbage
with me Osso Buco last night.

186
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,700
If I knew it burned fat,
I would have had a fourth helping.

187
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,800
- Well, we do have leftovers.
- No, we don't.

188
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,400
I haven't seen Daphne in a while.
Is it my imagination?

189
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,800
No. Six squares a day.

190
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,100
That's not like her.
Maybe she's depressed.

191
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,300
That's when I eat.
Have you said anything to her?

192
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,600
No. Timing is very delicate
in something like this, Roz.

193
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,300
I thought I'd wait until after she gets
too big to catch me,

194
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:57,900
but before she needs
the motorised scooter.

195
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,300
Hey, has anyone seen Frasier?

196
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,300
No, not yet.
What's the matter? You look pale.

197
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,800
Well, I hate public speaking,

198
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,100
and they roped me
into giving Frasier's introduction.

199
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,900
I just wanna make sure it's okay.

200
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,300
Why don't you run it by Niles?
He's a psychiatrist too.

201
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,100
And he's just as smart
and successful as Frasier.

202
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,100
- Dad.
- It's true. You are.

203
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,700
He is.

204
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,700
Hey, Gil.
So where is that elusive wife of yours?

205
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:29,100
If you must know, Deb's
on manoeuvres with her reserve unit.

206
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,900
WOMAN:
Ladies and gentlemen,

207
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,700
welcome to this year's
Seattle Broadcasting Awards.

208
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:42,200
Let's get right to our first category,
Outstanding Restaurant Critic.

209
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,500
And the nominees are:
Merrill George for <i>Café Chat,</i>

210
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,500
Sheldon Hastings
for <i>Here's Looking at Food</i>

211
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,600
and Gil Chesterton
for <i>Restaurant Beat.</i>

212
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,600
[CHEERING]

213
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,000
And we have a tie.

214
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:03,600
They expect me to share?
What is this, dim sum?

215
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:08,500
And the SeaBeas go to Merrill George
and Sheldon Hastings.

216
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,800
This can't be happening.

217
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:17,300
Oh, come on, Gil,
isn't it enough just to be nominated?

218
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,800
You tell me, Miss Three-Time-Loser.

219
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,900
MAN:
To all my listeners...

220
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,200
FRASIER: I know I should be happy,
but I feel so dissatisfied.

221
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,900
Well, Frasier, it's no accident

222
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,800
that you're going through this
on the day

223
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,900
that you receive
your lifetime achievement award.

224
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,800
Well, duh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm just acting out.

225
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,600
Please, please. Continue, please.

226
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,800
As you know,

227
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:55,600
men in our society commonly
define themselves by their careers.

228
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,800
Yes, I'll cop to that. Yeah.

229
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,300
In fact, there's nothing
I'm more proud of than my career.

230
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,300
It's because I love to help people.
I always have.

231
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,700
Right. Refresh my memory.

232
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,100
Wasn't it your mother
who first sparked

233
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,100
your interest in psychiatry?

234
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,900
Yes, it was.
I remember the exact day.

235
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,900
I was 8.

236
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,000
I had come home crying because one
of the older boys had thrown my copy

237
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,000
of <i>The Fountainhead</i> under a bus.

238
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,300
My mother explained to me

239
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,200
it wasn't because he didn't like
the way I walked,

240
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,400
or because
I wore an ascot to school.

241
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,600
It was because
he didn't like himself.

242
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,400
And at that very moment,

243
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,400
I became a student
of human behaviour.

244
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,300
It was as if someone had given me
an instruction manual

245
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,900
explaining why people
acted the way they did.

246
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,800
Not to mention a way to distance
yourself from painful emotions.

247
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,800
Oh, totally.

248
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,800
I took a lot of grief for that ascot.

249
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:59,400
So you were drawn to psychiatry
not because you like to help people,

250
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,500
but because you feared them.

251
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,800
I feared them?

252
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,300
Psychiatry gives you objectivity.

253
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,000
Objectivity gives you
emotional distance.

254
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,200
Distance makes you feel safe.

255
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,700
Yes, yes, granted.
But what has that got to do with me?

256
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,500
How's your practise?

257
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,500
I don't have a practise.
I have a radio show.

258
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,500
Distance. Any children?

259
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,300
Yes, I have a wonderful son
with whom I'm very close.

260
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,600
- You live with him?
- He lives in Boston.

261
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,300
Distance. With your wife.

262
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,300
My ex-wife. Yes, I know, distance.

263
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,800
Wasn't she a psychiatrist?

264
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,600
Yes, she happened
to be a good one too.

265
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,100
That's a handy choice
for someone

266
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,600
who'd rather share ideas
than emotions.

267
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,100
Have you ever met Lilith?

268
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:45,900
No.

269
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:51,500
Well, she happens to be a very warm
and loving woman.

270
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,600
Have you had any other meaningful
relationships since then?

271
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,200
As a matter of fact, l...
Well, what is your point?

272
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:05,600
My point is that at the age of 8, at 8,

273
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,300
you began to use psychiatry

274
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,900
as a way to deal with a world
that scared you to death.

275
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,100
And this lifetime achievement award

276
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,500
has made your realise
that your career is finite.

277
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:23,100
And once it's gone, all you'll have left
is that frightened 8-year-old boy.

278
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,300
Well...

279
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,100
Would you like to hear my theory?

280
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,300
You have no idea
what you're talking about.

281
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,600
I am not an 8-year-old.

282
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,400
And you know something else?
You're not my mentor anymore.

283
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,400
Roz, you gonna eat your quiche?

284
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:50,700
Are you kidding?

285
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:52,900
This would be like pulling
the ripcord on my thighs.

286
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,000
It's nothing but cheese
and butter and pastry...

287
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,300
And bacon.
Are you sure you don't mind?

288
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,100
I have good news.

289
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:03,900
I just spoke to Frasier.
He's on his way.

290
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,200
Oh, thank goodness.

291
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,100
Oh, not that I'm not having
a good time with you, Niles.

292
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,500
Dad, I know what you're doing.
You don't have to overcompensate.

293
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,700
I'm not some green-eyed monster
burning with envy for Frasier.

294
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:20,200
All right, but if you were,
I bet you'd be a great one.

295
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,300
Daphne?
I haven't seen you in a while.

296
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,300
How have you been? Are you okay?

297
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:32,500
I'm better than okay.
I'm in love with a man who loves me.

298
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:34,800
He showers me with attention.

299
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,700
Every morning I wake up wondering
what treasures this day will bring.

300
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,700
It really is the happiest time
of my life.

301
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:44,500
And how are you?

302
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,100
Good.

303
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,100
Really good.

304
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,200
Could you pass me
Frasier's quiche?

305
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,900
And the butter.

306
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,900
Thank you.

307
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:08,100
All right, I hate to be the one
to break it to you,

308
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,300
but I'm afraid you've lost your touch.

309
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,400
- Where's your DSM?
- There.

310
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:17,900
Emotionally stunted 8-year-old,
my eye.

311
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,900
Ah. Here's what I'm going through.

312
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,700
Phase-of-life issue.

313
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:26,300
"A problem associated
with a particular developmental phase

314
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,300
or other life circumstances."

315
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,000
- Please, a mid-life crisis?
- It's obvious, really.

316
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:33,900
I'm surprised
it didn't occur to me sooner.

317
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,800
If someone had called with
this problem, I'd have diagnosed it.

318
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,300
- Then what would you have done?
- Depends on the caller.

319
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,300
All right.

320
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:47,300
The caller is you.

321
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,800
Fine.

322
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,900
On line one,

323
00:16:56,100 --> 00:17:01,400
we have Frasier Crane
from Seattle.

324
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,600
Hello, Dr. Crane.

325
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,200
I love your show. I'm a big fan.

326
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:18,600
I won't bore you with all the details
of my life because you know them.

327
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:24,800
Suffice to say,
I'm a successful psychiatrist.

328
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,500
My problem is that,

329
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,000
in spite of the life I've built,

330
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,100
I feel...

331
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,200
...empty.

332
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:52,100
Ah. Emptiness.

333
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,500
The eternal void.

334
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,800
If I'm not mistaken,
it was John Keats who wrote...

335
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,500
Stalling. Deal with the feelings.

336
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,900
All right, fair enough.

337
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,200
Perhaps, caller,
if we re-frame the issue, we can...

338
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,600
Redefining the problem.
Deal with the feelings.

339
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,300
Uh...

340
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,300
Let's run down
the Beck Depression Inventory...

341
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,400
Re-diagnosing.
You know what the problem is.

342
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,900
- The caller feels empty. Go on.
- Okay.

343
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,000
Last month,
in the New England Journal...

344
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,000
- He's already read it.
- How do you know?

345
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:27,100
The caller is Frasier Crane.
If you did, he did.

346
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,200
I can suggest certain
visualisation techniques...

347
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,900
He knows them already.

348
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,200
Look, if he knows all this,
then why is he calling?

349
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:38,200
He told you.
Because he's empty. Keep going.

350
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,100
Well, sometimes it helps
to write yourself a letter.

351
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,600
He's already got himself
on the phone.

352
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,100
But I don't know what he wants.

353
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:52,100
Then why do you keep trying
to bury him in psychiatric exercises?

354
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,800
Because that's all I have.

355
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,100
I'm sorry, caller.

356
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,800
I can't help you.

357
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,600
Frasier's up next,
and he's not here yet.

358
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,200
- What the hell am I gonna do?
- He'll be here in a minute.

359
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,500
- Just go up there and stall.
- Stall?

360
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,700
Stall?

361
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:22,900
Yes, like that.

362
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,300
WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
our next presenter,

363
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:30,000
KACL General Manager
Kenny Daly.

364
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,400
I think I'm gonna be sick.

365
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,600
Oh, all right, relax.
I'll go up there for you.

366
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,900
No, no, Niles, let me do it.

367
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,600
This night's been hard enough
on you already.

368
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,700
You are such a weenie.

369
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,800
Yeah, weenie like a fox.

370
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:54,300
Actually, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Martin Crane.

371
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,300
Kenny very kindly
let me do the honours.

372
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,900
You see, I'm Frasier's dad.

373
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:05,400
Oh, no, no, more than that,
I'm the father of two special guys.

374
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,500
So if it's okay with you,

375
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:12,100
I'd like you to give a big SeaBea
welcome to my other son, Niles.

376
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,300
Come on, Niles, stand up.

377
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,900
Let them see you.
Oh, here's Frasier.

378
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,000
[PEOPLE CHEERING]

379
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:25,700
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the winner

380
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,000
of the Stephen R. Shafer
Lifetime Achievement Award,

381
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,400
my son Frasier Crane.

382
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,400
Uh...

383
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:48,300
Thank you for honouring my life.

384
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,500
I just wish I knew what to do
with the rest of it.

385
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:55,300
[CHUCKLING]

386
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,300
What the hell was that?