1
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:09,200
FRASIER:
Who's up next, Roz?

2
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,400
We have Cleo
from Redmond on line three.

3
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:15,000
Hello, Cleo. I'm listening.

4
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,300
CLEO:
<i>Hi, Dr. Crane.</i>

5
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:19,800
<i>I've been dating three different guys</i>
<i>and I can't choose between them.</i>

6
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,800
Is it that you can't choose
or you don't want to choose?

7
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,700
<i>It's just hard. One's really funny,</i>

8
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,800
<i>one's adventurous</i>
<i>and one's sensitive.</i>

9
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,300
<i>They're all gorgeous too.</i>

10
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,900
Oh, excuse me, Cleo.

11
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,200
This show is for people
with real problems.

12
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,000
Roz.

13
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:39,500
Um, it sounds to me as if each suitor
possesses one quality that you admire.

14
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:41,800
Rather than choose among them,

15
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:45,100
why not try to find one person
who fits all your criteria?

16
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,900
Why don't you call back
when you're a working single mother

17
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,300
whose choice in dates
is between a guy with eight teeth

18
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,500
and a guy whose hair is painted on?

19
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,800
Sadly, we're out of time.

20
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,500
This is Dr. Frasier Crane

21
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,600
saying good day, Seattle,
and good mental health.

22
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,300
Unless, of course,
Roz has a problem with that.

23
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:10,500
Is there something wrong, Roz?

24
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:11,700
Because if there is,

25
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,100
we should discuss it
before it bleeds into your work.

26
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:17,700
ROZ:
I'm sorry.

27
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:20,700
I'm just sick of hearing people
complain about their love lives

28
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,600
while I face another weekend
without plans.

29
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:27,400
- Well, I empathize, but...
- I know. Look who I'm telling.

30
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:32,200
It so happens
I have big plans this weekend.

31
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,600
Let me guess:

32
00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:37,200
You and Niles are playing your
zithers again at the Renaissance Faire.

33
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:42,300
Get real, Roz. The Renaissance Faire
is a fortnight after Saint Swithin's Day.

34
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,600
No, my son is coming to town.

35
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,500
Dad and Daphne should be
picking him up at the airport right now.

36
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,600
I didn't know Freddie was coming.

37
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,500
Well, it was sort of last-minute,
actually.

38
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,000
You know, you remember
I had that reunion of sorts

39
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,700
with my old college mentor,
Dr. Tewksbury.

40
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,000
Well, it led to a lot of soul-searching.

41
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,800
He helped me to realise

42
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,500
that I've been defining myself
by my career,

43
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,400
and it's time
that I rearrange my priorities.

44
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,800
And my first priority is my son.

45
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,900
What is he now, 12?

46
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,400
- No, 13, Roz.
- Wow.

47
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,700
Gosh, you know,
the years really have flown by.

48
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,400
- I feel like I've missed so much.
- So, what are you guys gonna do?

49
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:25,000
Lots of things. I thought we'd see
a play and take in the computer show.

50
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,800
He loved that. And, um...

51
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,400
Oh, I've decided
we are going to read <i>Walden</i> together.

52
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,400
- Some vacation.
- No, no, Roz. It is, actually.

53
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,500
You see, every year, we pick a book
to read and discuss.

54
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:39,900
It's... It's been sort of a bonding thing
between us.

55
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,700
And, gosh, you know, I hate to brag,

56
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,600
but Freddie
really is a very articulate young man.

57
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,500
He's very imaginative, not to mention
what a great sense of humour he has.

58
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:50,900
Oh, that reminds me, Frasier.

59
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,800
Alice said the cutest thing
this morning.

60
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,400
Careful, Roz. You don't wanna turn
into one of those mothers

61
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:58,600
who bores everybody
talking about her child.

62
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:06,500
At level seven, grab the bio-suit
and then teleport to the acid tank.

63
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,000
Really?

64
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:10,200
Hey, Grandpa,
put on MTV, channel 46.

65
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,000
All right.

66
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,800
[HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING ON TV]

67
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,500
Oh, jeez. What is this?

68
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:22,000
They're half nude.
That's just not right.

69
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,800
I saw this one already.

70
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,300
Oh, hello, Dad.

71
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,200
Freddie. Ha, ha!
Come give your dad a hug.

72
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,900
I'll call you back.

73
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,500
FRASIER:
God, it's so good to see you. Oh!

74
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,000
Well, so how was your flight?

75
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,000
- Eh.
- Good, good, good.

76
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,700
Did you get all your unpacking done?

77
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,000
- Yeah.
FRASIER: Great.

78
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,900
I've been looking forward
to seeing you.

79
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,400
We're gonna have fun.
What would you like to do first?

80
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,300
Whatever.

81
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,700
[PHONE RINGS]

82
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,600
Hello? Hey, Zack.

83
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,000
Hang on, let me get some privacy.

84
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,400
Well...

85
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,400
That's certainly not the greeting
I was expecting.

86
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,700
I've never seen such dancing.

87
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,100
What do you think
those shorts are made of?

88
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:25,500
Some sort of steel mesh.

89
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,300
What the hell are you watching?

90
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,700
- It's Freddie's programme.
- Good Lord.

91
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,400
He doesn't seem very happy
to be here.

92
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,000
He hardly said two words to me.

93
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,300
Oh, it's perfectly normal.
You're his dad.

94
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,700
Kids that age
don't wanna talk to their dad.

95
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,400
I never stopped talking to you.

96
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,000
I know, buddy.

97
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,400
- Evening.
FRASIER: Oh, hi, Daph.

98
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,600
Dinner will be ready soon.
Niles is joining us.

99
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:54,900
FRASIER:
Good, good.

100
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,400
Say, Daphne,
did Freddie say anything in the car?

101
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,700
DAPHNE:
Not really.

102
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,600
We put your show on the radio. Heard
Roz give that caller the business.

103
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,900
FRASIER:
Oh, yeah.

104
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]

105
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,500
- Oh, I'll get that.
- All right.

106
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:10,700
You know, it's a pity
she hasn't found someone to love.

107
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,000
I mean, what could be sadder
than growing old alone?

108
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:17,700
Yeah, I wasn't talking about you,
Dr. Crane.

109
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,000
- You got your father to grow old with.
- Ah, yeah.

110
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,300
DAPHNE: Niles.
- Hello.

111
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:25,600
Hi. Mwah.

112
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:28,100
Hey, Niles,
I didn't miss a squash date, did I?

113
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,000
No, no,
I was playing with Jack Betcher.

114
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,600
Pummelled me but good.
From now on, I'll stick to playing you.

115
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,400
FRASIER:
Oh, yes.

116
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:38,000
- Where's Freddie?
FRASIER: I'll go and get him.

117
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:42,000
You always smell so masculine
after you've finished exercising.

118
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,000
It's the mango-kiwi shower gel.

119
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,700
[DOORBELL RINGS]

120
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,700
- Oh, hi there.
- Oh, hello.

121
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,400
I'm Jack. I just dropped Niles off.

122
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,100
NILES: Jack?
- You left this in my car.

123
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,700
Oh, thank you.
Jack, this is Daphne, my girlfriend.

124
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,200
You're a fine-looking one,
aren't you?

125
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,200
- I don't know.
- Modest, that's good.

126
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,900
- I don't see a ring. Single?
- Yes.

127
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,300
- Looking? For a woman?
- Sure.

128
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,300
Right.

129
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,500
- Employed?
- A surgeon.

130
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,300
- Mm. Impressive.
JACK: Thanks.

131
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,600
- Yeah.
- Okay.

132
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:22,500
Well, it's good to see you again, Jack.
Thanks, goodbye.

133
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,000
What's happening?
I think I'm having some kind of stroke.

134
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,800
Roz is lonely so I thought I'd try
and set her up with someone.

135
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,300
Oh, maybe Jack.

136
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,900
- There's a thought.
- Okay, I get it now.

137
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,100
- Here we are.
- Oh. Hello, Freddie.

138
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,400
Hi, Uncle Niles.

139
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,400
- Would you give us a moment?
- Sure.

140
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,600
Freddie, about what you just saw...

141
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,400
I know you've always
had special feelings for Daphne.

142
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,600
- There's something I need to tell you.
- I already know about you guys.

143
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,900
Oh. Uh...

144
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,400
And you're okay with that?

145
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,500
I liked her when I was a little kid.

146
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:03,900
I'm over it now.
I mean, she's like 100.

147
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,900
She most certainly is not.

148
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,100
- It just burns you up that I got her...
FRASIER: Niles.

149
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,200
Why don't you get us both
some sherry?

150
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:23,700
Well, Freddie, I've made some
wonderful plans for our time together.

151
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,100
I've already chosen the book
we're going to read.

152
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,500
I'll give you a hint.

153
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:33,100
Published in 1854,
this paean to self-sufficiency

154
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,900
was known as the cornerstone
of the transcendental movement.

155
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,700
Oh, oh, oh!

156
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,700
Yes, yes, Niles.
I'll let you get the next one.

157
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,400
- Freddie, any thoughts?
- No.

158
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,800
- Niles?
- It's <i>Walden</i> by Henry David Thoreau.

159
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,500
Of course it is.

160
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,900
"It is life near the bone
where it is sweetest."

161
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,700
Should be the source of much
lively discussion, wouldn't you say?

162
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,000
I don't know.

163
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:01,700
Why don't you just talk about it
with Uncle Niles?

164
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,200
Niles.

165
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,000
Well, yes, if that's what you'd like.

166
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,200
We'll discuss it together.

167
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:12,000
"If the engine whistles, let it whistle
till it is hoarse for its pain."

168
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,200
Oh, shut up, Niles.

169
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,600
Hey, how was the computer expo?

170
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,500
Okay.

171
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:28,800
Freddie, why don't you tell Grandpa
about the new virtual reality...?

172
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,600
And he's gone.

173
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,900
- So did you have fun?
- Oh, yeah. It was a blast.

174
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,300
He spent the entire time
trying to ditch me.

175
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,800
You know...

176
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,500
...I only get to see
Freddie a few times a year.

177
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,200
Usually, we make the most of it.

178
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,900
Now all he wants to do
is play that damn computer game.

179
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,000
MARTIN:
Well, you know, Fras,

180
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,000
he's not different
than you were at that age.

181
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,400
Except instead of video screens
and electronics,

182
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,200
you always had your head in books.

183
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,500
- That's entirely different, Dad.
- No, it isn't.

184
00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,300
We couldn't get you to do anything.

185
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,600
You know, I remember
when you read that <i>Walden</i> book.

186
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,800
It was on the family camping trip.

187
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,900
So? Well, what better time
to read about nature?

188
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,100
MARTIN:
That's just it.

189
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:10,800
While you were in the cabin reading
about it, we were outside enjoying it.

190
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,600
You'd rather read about something
than experience it firsthand.

191
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:23,000
You know, my mentor remarked
on that very thing.

192
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,700
Freddie.

193
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:33,600
Freddie, I've made a decision.
We are going to the woods.

194
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,900
- What for?
- We are going camping.

195
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,400
- It'll be good for the both of us.
- But I don't want to.

196
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,300
Too bad. It'll be fun.

197
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,100
Fathers and sons
should do fun things together.

198
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,600
You and Grandpa
don't do fun things together.

199
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,000
Hey, leave me out of this.

200
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,200
That's why he's coming along
as well.

201
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,700
There will be no TV,

202
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,700
there will be no electronics,
there will be no distractions.

203
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,100
Just three generations of Cranes

204
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:02,000
cooking over a fire
and sleeping under the stars.

205
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,200
We leave at daybreak.

206
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,600
Good work, Freddie.

207
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,600
Oh! What an idyllic spot.

208
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,300
I'm already beginning to feel
like Thoreau.

209
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,400
We can't sleep here.
This place bites.

210
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,600
It does not bite.

211
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:29,300
"It is shelter, as good as the best,

212
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,500
and sufficient
for its coarser and simpler wants."

213
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,600
Is that you talking
or that guy from <i>Where's Walden?</i>

214
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,000
Good one, Freddie.

215
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,300
[FRASIER LAUGHS]

216
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,700
Yes, you know,
the two of you may want to immortalise

217
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:45,800
this good-natured raillery
in these journals that I bought for you.

218
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,700
Thanks, but I wouldn't know
what to write.

219
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,800
Well, Dad, you simply write down
your experiences.

220
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:55,100
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Freddie, l... I don't see a bathroom.

221
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,600
You're surrounded
by 50,000 acres of it.

222
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,300
Ha-ha! How quaintly rustic.

223
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,600
Yes, Frederick,
just pick a tree and make it your own.

224
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,900
So, Dad,
I thought we might do an activity later.

225
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,100
- What kind of activity?
- Oh, I don't know.

226
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,000
Maybe press some leaves
or whittle a birdcall

227
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,700
and see if we can lure some finches
to our sill.

228
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,900
Take it easy now, we wanna save
something for tomorrow.

229
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,900
Dad, could you please
be a little more supportive?

230
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,400
I'd like to, but I tried to get you
to camp a million times

231
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,400
and you had to wait
till playoffs are on.

232
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,200
Dad, you can watch
the playoffs all year.

233
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,500
The kids at the next campsite
built a rope swing.

234
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,200
- Can I go over?
- Don't see why not.

235
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,300
Thanks.

236
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,500
- What the hell was that?
- It's just a rope swing.

237
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,600
Wait till he sees us
drying leaves in the sun.

238
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,400
He'll come running.

239
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,000
I'm just about fed up
with your sarcasm.

240
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,900
I'm trying to do some father-son
bonding here. Will you just butt out?

241
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:57,300
You know what? I just thought
of something to write in this thing.

242
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,500
ROZ:
This is a bad idea. My hair's flat.

243
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,900
Never have a good date
when my hair is flat.

244
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,800
If it's flat after, that's a good date.

245
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,900
[DOORBELL RINGS]

246
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:17,300
Your hair's not flat, Roz.
It's delightfully frizzy.

247
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,200
DAPHNE: Hello.
JACK: Hi.

248
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,300
NILES: Hey, Jack, come in.
You remember Daphne.

249
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,100
- Yes.
- This is Roz.

250
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,900
- Hi, Jack.
- Hi.

251
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,000
So, uh, where are you two going
for dinner?

252
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,000
I thought we'd try the Pergola.
They have a garden patio.

253
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,900
Unless you'd rather eat inside.
I don't want you to get cold.

254
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,100
Oh, don't you worry about that.

255
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,400
Come on, Roz,
I have a couple of wraps.

256
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,600
You can borrow one.

257
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:46,000
- What do you think?
- She's pretty.

258
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,200
You know, I should check my service
before we go.

259
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,800
- Okay. Can I pour you some wine?
- Sure.

260
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,700
It's Dr. Betcher.

261
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,000
Really?
Well, isn't Dr. Unger on call?

262
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,400
I'm kind of busy right now.

263
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,400
All right, I'm on my way.

264
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,400
There's an emergency
with one of my post-op patients.

265
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,300
- Please tell Roz I'm really sorry.
- Of course.

266
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,000
- Thanks, Niles.
- Yeah, good luck.

267
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:14,500
We need a man's opinion.
The velvet trim or the multicoloured?

268
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,800
- Where's Jack?
- He left.

269
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,600
- He left?
- It was an emergency.

270
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,100
What kind of an emergency?

271
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,800
Like he saw me
and thought I was a dog emergency?

272
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,500
- No, no, no. He said you were pretty.
- That's it?

273
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,100
Well, he flew out of here
as soon as you left the room.

274
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,700
Oh, God, he was just trying
to get out of this date.

275
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:37,200
- I've been dumped.
- Oh, I'm sure you weren't dumped.

276
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,000
- He was paged, right, Niles?
- Oh, yeah, the old fake page routine.

277
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:44,200
No, no, no, not even.
He actually called in.

278
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,500
- I should go.
- We understand, you wanna be alone.

279
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,300
No, Roz, I won't hear of it.
You'll stay right here with us.

280
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,100
Oh, I don't wanna be a pain.
You guys have a big evening planned.

281
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:57,800
Roz, you are so considerate.

282
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:01,400
We can have an evening any old time.
You'll stay for dinner.

283
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,400
ROZ: All right.
- Allow me.

284
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:07,100
Well, what are we having?
Because I don't like fish.

285
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,500
Oh, Freddie, there you are.
Thank goodness.

286
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,000
Can I have dinner with these guys?
They're having sloppy joes.

287
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,500
I'm sorry, but Frederick is having
dinner with his family this evening.

288
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,300
Come on, Dad.

289
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,800
That's okay. Come by later.
We're making S'mores.

290
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,000
Yes, we'll see.
All right, now off you go, young people.

291
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,400
Just sit down, Frederick,
and eat your meal.

292
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:37,500
- Have a good time?
- I guess.

293
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,600
What'd you do?

294
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,500
We played some Frisbee.

295
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:44,500
Sucked with all those trees
in the way.

296
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:50,700
Yes, well, perhaps one day
civilisation will cut down all those trees

297
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,500
and pave over this grand wilderness.
Then you and your friends

298
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,700
can play Frisbee without constraint.
How would that be?

299
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,100
I don't know.

300
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:00,300
I'm done. Can I go now?

301
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,100
- No.
- Why not?

302
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,200
This is your first camping trip
and we're gonna enjoy it together.

303
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,600
This isn't my first camping trip.

304
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:11,300
- You never told me that.
- I don't tell you a lot of things.

305
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,500
Oh. I see.

306
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,700
Well, you may go.

307
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,700
So...

308
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,500
...he's been camping before.

309
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,800
Instead of this
being something special,

310
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,900
it's just another thing
I've missed out on.

311
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,600
This trip was a bust
from the get-go.

312
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,100
We leave at daybreak.

313
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:40,100
What's with you and daybreak?

314
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,700
I'm gonna see if those kids have
a generous grandpa with a six-pack.

315
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,400
Sit.

316
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,200
DAPHNE: I once dated a guy
who was so grabby,

317
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,600
I jumped out of his car
while it was still moving.

318
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,000
Did I ever tell you
about this jerk named Nick?

319
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,600
I dated a Nick.

320
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:08,900
[DOORBELL RINGS]

321
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,800
My Nick had a silent G
at the beginning of his name.

322
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,200
He was Vietnamese.

323
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,100
I wonder who this could be.

324
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,100
Oh, what an incredible surprise.

325
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,500
It's Hans. Hans, come in.

326
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:27,000
Roz, Daphne, this is Hans.
He's a doctor from my building.

327
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,700
Nice to meet you.

328
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,900
Hello, Hans. What brings you by?

329
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,000
I'm a friend of Frasier.

330
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:37,300
Uh, I was downstairs, so I thought
I'd pop by, see if he was in.

331
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,700
- Yeah, well, he's not.
- You could stay for a drink.

332
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,600
Why don't come here?
Sit next to Roz.

333
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,000
Niles, help me fix those drinks,
will you?

334
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,900
Yes, dear.

335
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,100
Doctor my eye.
That's Ted, the moron from the deli.

336
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,000
- Are you sure?
- Oh, stop it.

337
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,300
You invited him over here for Roz.
She's in no mood to be trifled with.

338
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,500
- Neither am I.
- I'm sorry. I was trying to help.

339
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,900
Yeah, well, if you want to help,
get rid of him.

340
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:06,900
Love you.

341
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,100
Can you believe this, Daphne?

342
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,100
Roz, I am so sorry.
This evening's been a disaster.

343
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,800
No, I mean, things are looking up.

344
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,800
Hans and I are really hitting it off.
Do you have any mints in here?

345
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,300
- Try the cupboards.
- Thanks.

346
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,400
I have a really good feeling
about Hans.

347
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:27,700
He's very funny.

348
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,800
He just told me
he was chief doctor of Brainiactrics.

349
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,900
- Where did he go?
- I gave him the boot. He's gone.

350
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:40,200
- Who's gone?
- Hans. He had an emergency.

351
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,200
- Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
- Oh, Roz...

352
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,300
I thought this one liked me.

353
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,900
Man, I've driven away two doctors
in one night.

354
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,700
No, Hans is just the meat slicer
from the deli.

355
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,700
And that's supposed
to make me feel better?

356
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,700
Oh, God, I just wanna put
this whole night behind me.

357
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,200
I don't blame you one bit.

358
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,300
I'm sure it will all look better
in the morning.

359
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,600
I sure hope so.

360
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,000
You two have listened to enough
of my problems for one night.

361
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,700
Oh, look, <i>Titanic</i> just started.

362
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:27,300
When you hear that scratching
at your window late at night,

363
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:33,700
remember that young couple
and Fork Hand.

364
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,100
Oh, come on, that's scary stuff.

365
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,900
I told that to Duke last summer
and he wet his sleeping bag.

366
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,900
Wait a minute.
Isn't this Duke's sleeping bag?

367
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,100
- Now you're scared.
- Ha-ha.

368
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Oh, gosh, Dad.

369
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,900
I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier.

370
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,100
You know, I guess I was just hoping
this trip might give me and Frederick

371
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:11,600
some sort of,
I don't know, golden moment.

372
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,200
- I guess I'm just disappointed.
- I know.

373
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,000
But you know, none of this
would be happening if we had a TV.

374
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,000
TV makes everyone get along.

375
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:28,900
MARTIN: Oh, hey, buddy.
FRASIER: Hi, Fred.

376
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,800
- Well, I'll just take a little walk.
FRASIER: All right.

377
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,100
- See you in a bit, Dad.
MARTIN: All right.

378
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,100
Frederick, we're gonna be leaving
in the morning.

379
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,000
But I don't wanna go.

380
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,000
No? I thought you'd be
dying to get back to your Game Boy.

381
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,500
Well, yeah, but I kind of made plans.

382
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,700
Oh, really? With who?

383
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,500
- Nobody.
- Oh, then, you don't have plans.

384
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:56,500
We leave at... Nine-ish.

385
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,000
Okay, fine.
I have plans with Melody.

386
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:04,900
- The S'mores girl?
- Yeah.

387
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,900
She's cute.

388
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,600
She's a cheerleader.

389
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,500
Ho-ho!

390
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,400
I remember a particular cheerleader
from my youth.

391
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:19,500
Lorna. She was a beautiful girl.

392
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,300
In fact, I was so intimidated by her,

393
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,800
I could never even work up
the courage to approach her.

394
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,700
- Dad.
- Damn it.

395
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:27,100
I kissed her.

396
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,500
Oh.

397
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:34,200
I know. It was her first time.

398
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,100
It was my first time too.

399
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,600
I see.

400
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,400
Don't tell Mom about this, okay?
She'd ask all kinds of stupid questions.

401
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,400
Don't worry, son.
It's just between you and me.

402
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:53,300
You know,
I think I'll write for a while before bed.

403
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,500
Whoa. Did you see the stuff
that Grandpa wrote about you?

404
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,400
Give me that.