1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,700
FRASIER:
Roz, to what do I owe the pleasure?
2
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:12,900
A messenger delivered this for you
after you left.
3
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,300
It's marked "personal and confidential."
I thought it might be important.
4
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,200
I already tried that. Forget it.
5
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,000
We could use
some brighter bulbs at the office.
6
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,400
Yes, well, a brighter bulb
wouldn't have admitted it.
7
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,100
Let's see.
8
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:33,200
"Dear Dr. Crane, enclosed are four
tickets to tonight's Sonics game
9
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,000
as thanks for your advice
on today's show.
10
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,400
Sincerely, Alan from Earlmont."
11
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:39,900
That is gonna be a great game.
12
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:41,600
Take your dad,
have a boys' night out.
13
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,800
Niles and I were already
having a boys' night out.
14
00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,700
We're gonna go see the Northwest
Chamber Ensemble's Spring Sing.
15
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,100
After that,
a late dinner at Le Cigare Volant.
16
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,600
Oh.
17
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,900
Throw in a couple of strippers,
and that still sounds boring.
18
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,200
To think I was gonna offer you
these basketball tickets.
19
00:00:58,500 --> 00:00:59,900
Well, can't use them anyway.
20
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:03,500
I have a date with this French guy,
Jean-Pierre.
21
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,600
So that's it, huh? No Americans left.
22
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,000
Very funny.
23
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,900
You know, I hope it goes well,
because he doesn't speak any English,
24
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,000
and the only French I know
is oui and non.
25
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:21,400
I suppose you'll just be using
one of those.
26
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,400
Before you get too clever,
27
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,200
you're the one
who's going out with his brother.
28
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,900
Have a nice date, Roz.
29
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:35,700
Dad, I've got something here
that I think you might be interested in.
30
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,800
- Whoa! Sonics tickets?
- Yeah.
31
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,100
How about that?
32
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,900
- Looks like I owe you an apology.
- An apology?
33
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:45,400
Last October, you said we would go
to a game together,
34
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,300
but I thought
that was just a lot of talk.
35
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,400
- Listen, Dad, I intended to...
- It doesn't matter how long it took.
36
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,700
You came through.
That's what's important.
37
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,300
- Glad to see you so excited.
- Who wouldn't be?
38
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,700
Look where we're sitting.
Frasier, you're the best.
39
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,400
Listen, Dad,
there's something you should know.
40
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:11,100
- You're paying for the snacks.
- All right.
41
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,600
Well, we better get going.
Who are the other two tickets for?
42
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]
43
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,900
Well, they're for Niles and Daphne,
of course.
44
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,700
But I made the arrangements
so long ago,
45
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,600
I didn't anticipate Daphne
going for her master's degree
46
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,600
at the fat academy.
47
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,000
You know, Dad,
48
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,800
why don't I let Niles in and
then you can go get ready, all right?
49
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,700
I am ready.
50
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,400
Don't you wanna take
your big foam finger?
51
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:39,700
No, I got some
nacho cheese on it last time.
52
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,600
It smells kind of funky.
53
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]
54
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,400
This is gonna be fun.
55
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,000
Oh, hi. For a moment,
I thought you'd left.
56
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,100
- You got the tickets?
- Right here! We're good to go.
57
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,100
- Dad's going with us?
- Yes, all three of us.
58
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:58,600
Well, we'd better get a move on.
59
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,900
I like to get there early,
see the players warm up.
60
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:05,100
Hey, me too. What a surprise this is.
61
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,000
Yes. Just you wait.
62
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,000
[CROWD CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]
63
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,200
FRASIER:
Here we are, Row 4.
64
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,900
Tell you what,
why don't we let Dad sit between us?
65
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,600
- There we are.
- That's a good idea.
66
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:26,300
ANNOUNCER: Now entering the game
for the Sonics, number 31, Rick Barry.
67
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,400
This is like those family road trips
that Dad used to drag us on.
68
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:35,600
Uncomfortable seats, sticky floors,
underlying threat of violence.
69
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,900
How ever did we get through those?
70
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,600
- Games, mostly.
- Ah.
71
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:45,000
Licence-plate spotting,
I Spy, throwing up.
72
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:48,300
No, Niles, that wasn't
so much a game as an activity.
73
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:49,900
[CROWD CHEERING]
74
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,300
ANNOUNCER:
Basket!
75
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,900
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
76
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,100
Sold the other ticket.
77
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,600
Good. What did you get for it?
78
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:58,700
These three frosty fellas,
and a chilidog that didn't make it.
79
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:02,100
- Thank you.
- Great, I haven't missed much.
80
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,800
I spy with my little eye
81
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:15,700
something beginning with V.
82
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,600
- Vagabonds.
- No.
83
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,100
- Vittles.
- No.
84
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,900
Vienna sausages.
85
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,600
Where do you see
Vienna sausages?
86
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,200
I thought maybe that vendor might...
Vendor, vendor.
87
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,200
Excellent, Niles. Your turn.
88
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,700
I spy with my little eye...
89
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000
Would you cut it out?
I'm trying to watch the game.
90
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,400
- We're just playing I Spy, Dad.
- I know, and it is distracting.
91
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:49,300
We used to do it all the time
on family vacations.
92
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:50,900
And it was distracting then,
93
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,700
so cut it out or it'll end up
like our family trip to Arizona.
94
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,600
You mean,
you'll turn around in your seat
95
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,200
and almost drive the arena
into the Grand Canyon?
96
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,100
Tell you what, Dad, here,
why don't you switch seats with me?
97
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,400
- And that way we won't disturb you.
- Okay, fine.
98
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:08,500
- Come on. Here we go.
- Okay.
99
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,900
There's the lady
who bought my ticket.
100
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,100
I see you got yourself
some suds there.
101
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,300
You know it.
102
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,600
You can't watch the Sonics
without a beer or two.
103
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,800
Especially this season,
you know what I'm saying?
104
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,800
Yes. Right on.
105
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,400
I spy...
106
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,600
Come on, Baker!
107
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:29,300
Move that side of beef down there
and play some defence!
108
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,100
That's right. Put it back.
109
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,200
Yeah!
110
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,600
[CROWD CHEERING]
111
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,000
Switch seats with me.
112
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,900
Come on, hustle!
Let's see a little ball movement!
113
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,600
I'm going to say no.
114
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:55,000
There is no way I'm enduring this
for however long this thing lasts.
115
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,100
I know. Dad, Dad, I'm sorry.
116
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,800
My leg is getting a little stiff.
117
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,400
Would you mind switching seats
with me so I can stretch it out?
118
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,800
Stiff leg, huh?
119
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,900
Must have been that bullet
you had pumped into you
120
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,300
while stopping a robbery.
121
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,900
Oh, no, wait, that was me.
122
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:11,600
Dad?
123
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:14,900
Oh, all right, all right.
This is the last time I'm moving.
124
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,600
All right, excuse me.
125
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,700
You go in there
and I'll step through here.
126
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:22,000
FRASIER: Hold it.
- My leg is very tender.
127
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:25,000
Yes.
128
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:29,100
Oh, well, that's better.
129
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,400
Niles, my legs
are much longer than yours.
130
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,500
- So?
- So I should be sitting in that seat.
131
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,300
- Well, I'm not switching.
- It was mine to begin with.
132
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,300
Well, I'm still not switching.
133
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:44,000
- I spy with my little...
- Then I'm not playing.
134
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:47,600
- Fine.
- Fine.
135
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:55,300
Now what are you doing?
136
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,400
Staving off chapping.
It's very dry in here.
137
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,800
I don't have any lip balm.
138
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,400
I do.
139
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,100
Switch seats with me.
140
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,100
My integrity is not for sale.
141
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,000
Suit yourself.
142
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:17,900
Oh, Niles.
143
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:22,400
These rich waxy emollients
are delightfully soothing.
144
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,000
Oh, all right. You can have the seat.
145
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,100
- Thank you.
- Give me that thing now.
146
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:32,500
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and
gentlemen, check your seat numbers.
147
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,500
At half-time, one lucky fan
148
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:38,100
will be taking
your Northwest Cable's half-court shot.
149
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,800
Are you ready?
150
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:45,000
If you're seated in Section 101,
Row 4, Seat 2,
151
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:48,400
congratulations.
152
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,100
FRASIER: Good luck, Niles.
- Thanks. Thanks.
153
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:03,800
- Great, Niles.
- Excuse me. Thanks, Dad.
154
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,200
Come on, right this way.
155
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,100
Now, I need you
to sign this release form.
156
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,700
- Why? What happens?
- Look, nothing.
157
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,200
It's just that so we can use
your image on television.
158
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,400
- Okay.
- Okay. Here.
159
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,500
Great.
160
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,400
Perfect.
Now I need you to put this on.
161
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,100
Okay, here. Let me undo this.
162
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,500
Absolutely.
163
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:26,200
- Are you feeling okay?
- Oh.
164
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:31,000
Just, I haven't done
a lot of basketballing
165
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,900
and I might just be a tad nervous.
166
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:39,100
Don't worry.
Nobody makes the shot.
167
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:44,000
That's comforting, except that's...
I'm not sure I can even roll that far.
168
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,900
[AIR HORN BLOWING]
169
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,600
Oh, my God.
What the hell was that?
170
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,500
It's nothing. It's just half-time.
171
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,800
Thank God we switched seats.
I mean, that could be me down there.
172
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,700
- Poor Niles.
- What do you mean?
173
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,800
Every guy
dreams of a chance like this.
174
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,700
Dream or not, Dad, eventually,
he's gonna try to take that shot.
175
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,500
You know how Niles throws.
176
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:11,500
Yeah, and you're Pete Maravich.
177
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:14,200
I don't know what that means.
178
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,700
It means, instead of criticising him,
you might be a little more supportive.
179
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,700
Because no matter
what happens down there,
180
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,400
he's still your brother and my son.
181
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,000
Here we go.
182
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,000
Hand me his beer.
I'm gonna need it.
183
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,800
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
184
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,300
here to attempt your
Northwest Cable's half-court shot,
185
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:37,900
from right here in Seattle,
Niles Crane!
186
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,400
[CROWD CHEERING]
187
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,900
Here you go, Niles. Good luck.
188
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,500
[CROWD CHEERING]
189
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,800
Now entering the apartment,
190
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,000
a 5'9" psychiatrist
from Seattle, Washington.
191
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:07,400
- Niles Crane!
MARTIN: Yay!
192
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,100
He shakes, he bakes.
193
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,800
He drives to the coat rack.
194
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:16,100
He fakes an arm out of the sleeve,
he puts it up, it's gone!
195
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,400
Thank you, Dad.
196
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,300
- Glass of sherry, Niles?
NILES: Please.
197
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:24,000
He calls glass,
and except for the sherry, it's good!
198
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,400
Okay, Dad.
199
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:26,800
FRASIER:
Gosh, Niles.
200
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,600
You making that basket tonight
was truly astonishing.
201
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,100
And what's even
more unbelievable
202
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,500
is that you are now the proud owner
of a rugged, ram-tough,
203
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,700
all-terrain pickup truck.
204
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,400
It occurred to me
we could use it to go antiquing.
205
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,800
Ah.
206
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,200
Fourteen messages. New record.
207
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,500
[MACHINE BEEPS]
208
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,400
DUKE'S VOICE:
Hey, Martin, it's Duke.
209
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,100
Was that Niles on SportsCenter
or am I drunk?
210
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,700
Call me.
211
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:54,800
[MACHINE BEEPS]
212
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,200
FRANK'S VOICE:
Marty, it's Frank. Bad news.
213
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,400
Stosh had another heart attack.
214
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,300
He saw your son make that basket.
215
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,400
It's the greatest thing I ever seen.
Give me a call.
216
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,800
[MACHINE BEEPS]
217
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,600
STOSH'S VOICE:
Hey, Marty, it's Stosh. Bad news...
218
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,200
FRANK'S VOICE:
I just did that one.
219
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,600
STOSH:
I'll call you later.
220
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,100
Make sure you catch SportsCenter.
Congrats.
221
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,100
We'll listen to the rest of them later.
222
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,100
Niles, I can't tell you
how great you were tonight.
223
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,000
Well, thanks, Dad,
but I wasn't great.
224
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,000
I just walked out on the court
225
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,900
and heaved the ball
as hard as I could,
226
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,300
and the rest was just luck.
227
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,400
That may be so, Niles, but still and all,
you did go down and do it.
228
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,300
Not many people
could have done that.
229
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,400
I know I always told you boys
that sports aren't important,
230
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,700
but they are.
231
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,300
And what you did tonight out there
makes me really proud.
232
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:44,700
Thanks.
233
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,700
Good thing I wangled those tickets,
hey, Dad?
234
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,500
Oh, look, Niles is on TV!
235
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,200
I can't believe it.
You made Play of the Week.
236
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:54,300
We got us a real live celebrity
in our own home.
237
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,600
It's up and it's good!
238
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,400
NILES: Excuse me.
Nonfat latte to go, please.
239
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,900
Hey, Frasier, mind if I join you?
240
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,100
Are you sure?
The jocks usually sit over at that table.
241
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,100
This thing?
242
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,000
Yes, this was just part
of a gift package the Sonics sent over.
243
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:29,500
I just didn't wanna seem ungrateful.
Not that I owe them anything.
244
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:33,600
After all, I'm the one
that drained it from way downtown.
245
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,900
Yes, so we've been hearing.
246
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,400
NILES:
Frasier, don't grouse.
247
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,300
I've earmarked
a pair of practise pants for you.
248
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,300
Thank you, Niles, but I like to think
I've already mastered pants.
249
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,300
I assume you're gonna select
250
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,500
a more appropriate jacket
for this evening's concert.
251
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,100
Yeah, about that, Dad wants me
to go with him to McGinty's,
252
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,900
so he can have me tell the tale.
253
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,100
But we've already
rescheduled the concert once.
254
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,600
That was because of you.
255
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,800
It was not because of me,
it was because of Dad.
256
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,500
- So is McGinty's.
- Well, it's not the same.
257
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:03,900
We had an agreement.
258
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,000
If you should choose to dishonour it,
there will be consequences.
259
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,300
Why don't we compromise?
260
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,300
Let's say we go and have
a drink with Dad at McGinty's,
261
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,900
and then afterwards
proceed on to the concert?
262
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,100
Well, I just don't...
I don't... Well, l...
263
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,100
All right, fine.
264
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,800
- Thank you. I'll see you later, Frasier.
- Yes.
265
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,000
Wow, Niles.
266
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,600
Finally made varsity
after 30 years, huh?
267
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,200
Yes, but it's not
a real varsity jacket, Roz,
268
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,200
so you're under no obligation
to sleep with me.
269
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,600
- See you around.
- Take care.
270
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,200
Hi, Frasier.
271
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,100
You may join me if you wish, Roz.
272
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,000
Be forewarned,
I'm feeling a bit peevish.
273
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:51,700
For God's sake,
you're like Goldilocks with that latte.
274
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,200
This foam is too hard,
this foam is too soft.
275
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,600
No, this is not about
latte foam, Roz.
276
00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:01,000
And since Niles made that basket, his
head's been getting bigger and bigger.
277
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,600
You have to admit
it was pretty amazing.
278
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,300
Amazingly lucky.
279
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,100
But to hear Niles tell it:
280
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,400
It all started
in a little rubber factory in Sumatra,
281
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,500
where an unsuspecting basketball
began a journey
282
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,900
that would lead to greatness.
283
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,900
So he's milking it a little bit.
You would do the same thing.
284
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,200
I would not.
285
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,400
I would treat it
as the chance occurrence it was.
286
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,500
Like finding a terrific parking spot
in front of the opera house.
287
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,900
- You bragged about that for weeks.
- It was right in front of the steps, Roz.
288
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,300
You know what I mean, Frasier.
289
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,500
Yes, I suppose I do.
290
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,400
Guess I'll just have to grin
and bear it for a little while longer.
291
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,000
ROZ:
Here's Jean-Pierre.
292
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,800
Oh, your French beau.
How's that going?
293
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,500
- I'm breaking up with him.
- I'm sorry.
294
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,100
- Actually, you're going to do it for me.
- What?
295
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,700
Since I don't speak French,
I need you to translate, please.
296
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,800
For God's sake... Well, all right.
297
00:15:56,200 --> 00:16:00,000
We're having coffee. Sit down.
298
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,200
I can't imagine
why this isn't working.
299
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:07,000
Jean-Pierre, this is Frasier.
300
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,500
[IN FRENCH]
301
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,500
ROZ:
Now, I wanna do this gently,
302
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,000
so will you tell him
that I think he's a really nice guy?
303
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,200
Uh-huh.
304
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,600
[IN FRENCH]
305
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,500
- What did he say?
- Um...
306
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,900
He says
that he's very fond of you too.
307
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:35,700
Okay. Now tell him that these past
few weeks have been really fun.
308
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,500
You can go faster, Roz.
309
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:41,300
Let me do this my way. Tell him.
310
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,700
He says,
"What are you trying to say?"
311
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,200
Okay.
312
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,500
Tell him that another time,
313
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,800
another place,
we might have a shot.
314
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,200
But this just isn't working for me.
315
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,500
Is there any chance
you would reconsider?
316
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,600
- I don't think so.
- Uh-huh.
317
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,900
- Is he okay?
- Yes, Roz, he'll be fine.
318
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,000
But, you know, for his sake I think
we should wrap this up, all right?
319
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,100
- Jean-Pierre...
- Roz.
320
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,100
- He says that he'll...
- Please, Frasier.
321
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,500
Some things
don't need to be translated.
322
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,000
So at this point,
what were you thinking?
323
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,200
Stop tape, please.
324
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,600
I'd have been thinking
about that sweet truck.
325
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,500
BARTENDER: Yeah, me too.
- Not me.
326
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,100
If you're focusing on the reward,
327
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,300
that's energy you're not using
to make the shot.
328
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,100
MARTIN:
You know what else?
329
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,100
He's donating that truck
to the Police Activities League.
330
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,400
[PATRONS APPLAUDING]
331
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,800
I just want the kids to know
it's about the playoffs, not the payoffs.
332
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:36,000
Is this a great boy or what?
333
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,100
You sure I can't pay you
for this beer?
334
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,400
Your money's no good here.
335
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,800
Half-court Crane's dad
doesn't pay for drinks.
336
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,800
Excuse me, Niles,
but we have a concert to make.
337
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,400
I know, soon. I can't leave
the fellas hanging, Frasier.
338
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:49,900
All right, back to the tape.
339
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:54,200
All right, now,
that's about 45 feet to that basket.
340
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:58,900
You see, I used my whole body.
Form is everything.
341
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,700
You've already made
or missed the shot
342
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,600
even before you release the ball.
343
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,100
And, of course,
we all know the rest of the story.
344
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,600
Yes, yes.
345
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,200
The story is:
346
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,200
Once upon a time, Niles Crane
accidentally made a basket.
347
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,400
The end!
348
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:18,800
I don't deny
there was some luck involved,
349
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:22,800
but as we all know,
luck is the residue of design.
350
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:27,500
Please. Somehow managing to hurl
a ball forward is hardly design.
351
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:32,500
You're just jealous
because I have game and you don't.
352
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,300
Oh, please.
So you think you have game?
353
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,800
- I do have game.
- Do you think they're gonna fight?
354
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,400
I got news for you, they are fighting.
355
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,600
We'll just see about that. Barkeep.
356
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:44,900
What are you doing?
357
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,300
I'm gonna challenge Niles to a game of
one-on-one on that contraption there.
358
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,900
What do you wanna do that for?
359
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,900
Twenty dollars
of your cleanest quarters.
360
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,200
What about your concert?
361
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,000
You guys better get moving.
Tick, tock.
362
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,500
All right, Frasier, game on.
363
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:04,100
Wait, it's not worth it.
Sports aren't everything.
364
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:07,400
All right, hotshot, after you.
365
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,600
Let's go half court. Put it up, baby.
366
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:11,900
Thank you, thank you.
367
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:15,700
I appreciate the support, but I think
I might throw better with fewer voices.
368
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,000
Well, obviously I'm accustomed
to shooting from further back.
369
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:31,700
Yes, and just once. Allow me.
370
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,300
All right, all right, your turn.
371
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,500
All right.
I believe I'm warmed up now.
372
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,900
Yeah, I hit the round part
and that's worth a half a point.
373
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,200
- I think I could use another beer.
- That will be 2.95.