1 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:10,043 Oh, uh, get a cart. 2 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,579 Oh, could you get it, Niles, please? 3 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,581 They're so small, they make me feel 4 00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:17,083 like I'm some sort of fairy tale giant. 5 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,557 Hey, any thoughts about what to serve? 6 00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:26,059 Well, I thought we might serve 7 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:27,060 a house-cured gravlax 8 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,561 with crèème fraiche and a sprig of dill. 9 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:29,996 Oh, in other words, the usual. 10 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,399 For your information, Niles, people happen to like it. 11 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,667 Yes, people like animated musicals. 12 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,736 Oh, honestly. 13 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,104 Frasier, look! 14 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,105 Caviar. 15 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,074 They haven't had any in ages. 16 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,110 This is just what we need to make our soiree soign￩e. 17 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:47,113 (chuckles) 18 00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:48,581 Good heavens. 19 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,350 It's $100 an ounce. 20 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,118 Well, it must be mismarked. 21 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:55,588 Excuse me, is the Beluga really $100 an ounce? 22 00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,991 (heavy French accent): Yes. 23 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,894 Well, isn't that rather a lot to pay? 24 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,328 To you, yes. 25 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:05,398 To the fish who gave up her life so you could spread 26 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,900 her unborn children on a cracker, 27 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,802 it's not so much. 28 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,171 You know, the reason 29 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,973 for such high prices is the Russian Mafia. 30 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:17,110 They control this market. 31 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:21,948 The Russian Mafia controls Robert's Gourmet Goodies? 32 00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,951 He means the caviar market, you ninny. 33 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:26,319 MAN: Yes. 34 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:29,189 I have Beluga for sale. 35 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,691 Top quality, fair price. 36 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,599 The name is Petyr. 37 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,102 I recently arrived on my cousin's ship, 38 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,105 the Caspian Queen, with beautiful Beluga caviar. 39 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,608 But because of those gangsters, we cannot sell. 40 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,110 So I do it like this. 41 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,111 Quietly. 42 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,479 How much you want? 43 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,214 How do we know this isn't some sort of scam? 44 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:57,617 It's no scam. 45 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,487 Look inside. 46 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,126 You taste. 47 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,572 You really must try this, Niles. 48 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,481 It's like being kissed by a lusty mermaid. 49 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:29,983 (chuckles) 50 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,687 So, you are interested, yes? 51 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,023 Maybe, but how can we be sure that you are not 52 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,525 Russian Mafia yourself? 53 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,528 Because for six generations 54 00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,530 my family fished the Caspian 55 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:46,432 Then ten years ago, the bastards come. 56 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:48,735 They burned my father's boat. 57 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:52,105 They steal my mother's salt so she cannot prepare the roe. 58 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,408 And if they know I sell Beluga for $40 an ounce, 59 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:59,712 they would cut out my tongue and pluck out my eyes! 60 00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,217 Did you say $40 an ounce? 61 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,757 Shouldn'’t our caviar be here by now? 62 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,258 It will be here, Niles. 63 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:13,660 I gave Roz explicit instructions. 64 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,562 What if we've been swindled? 65 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,897 What if the tins are filled with sand? 66 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:20,567 Niles, 67 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,902 I am, as you know, 68 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:26,406 an excellent judge of character. 69 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:32,745 And in Petyr, I saw an honest, hard-working fisherman. 70 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,647 Why didn't you have him deliver it here? 71 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:38,484 What? I don't want him knowing where I live. 72 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:41,854 (doorbell rings) 73 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:44,724 The Russian bear hunts by night. 74 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,925 Very funny, Roz, come on. 75 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:46,759 Give me that. 76 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,761 All right, let's have a look 77 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:52,765 Oh. 78 00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:55,768 Niles. 79 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,710 It's beautiful. 80 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,145 I don't get what the big deal is about caviar. 81 00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:07,947 I had it once, it was nothing special. 82 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,782 Well, Roz, a lot of things can affect caviar. 83 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:11,117 Where did you have it? 84 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:15,388 On a mini-bagel at the Tucson Doubletree. 85 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,325 Try this. 86 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,130 Hmm. 87 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,131 Wow. 88 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,633 Mm-hmm? 89 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:27,500 That's good. Yes. 90 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,868 That's really good. 91 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,371 What's your little party for tonight? 92 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:32,372 Invited guests. 93 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,306 I'm sorry, Roz. 94 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,308 What? 95 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:36,843 Thank you for your help. 96 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,877 See you later. 97 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:38,811 Oh, hi, Roz. 98 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:39,879 Oh, hi, Dad. 99 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:41,814 Hey, hey, everybody. 100 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:42,882 Check this out 101 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:45,385 Just went to the ATM for $20, 102 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:48,388 as you can see from this receipt, and it gave me $60. 103 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,823 I won 40 bucks. 104 00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:53,359 You, you mean the bank lost $40. 105 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:56,829 Uh, yeah, that big, faceless bank that charges me 106 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,699 $12 a month for my checking account lost $40. 107 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,669 You know, you can't keep that. 108 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,504 It's bad karma. 109 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,838 Sorry, this is America. 110 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,640 A land built on the principle "Finders Keepers." 111 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,509 Oh, come on. 112 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,010 There's a toll-free service number 113 00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,011 right here on the receipt. 114 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,846 Just call them and tell them what happened. 115 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,014 Why should I? 116 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,849 Because otherwise, you could end up 117 00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:19,352 like my brother Nigel and his baby teeth. 118 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,434 What happened with 119 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,703 your brother Nigel and his baby teeth? 120 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:37,704 Well, like any child, 121 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,706 the first time he had a tooth fall out, 122 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,708 he put in under his pillow at bedtime, 123 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,710 and sure enough, the next morning, 124 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,546 he found that Winston Churchill had left him a shiny, new coin. 125 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:47,647 Question. 126 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,115 No, Dad, we're not stopping 127 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:50,983 Go ahead, darling. 128 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:52,418 Well, instead of being grateful, 129 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,420 he got greedy and went off to school, 130 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,888 punching people in their mouths 131 00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,256 and scooping up their teeth. 132 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:02,362 Of course, it didn't work, and he got kicked out of school, 133 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,298 became a thief, and eventually went to prison. 134 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,104 Where he... 135 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:14,974 fittingly had all of his teeth knocked out. 136 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,876 No, he lost his teeth years earlier 137 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,244 in a rock-eating contest. 138 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,581 Now that's an interesting story. 139 00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:24,083 We were renting a house next to a quarry at the time... 140 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:27,086 All right, all right, I'll call the bank! 141 00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,590 Very kind of you to have us here, Crane. 142 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:31,591 Yes, it's wonderful. 143 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:35,027 But then you must be used to hosting successful parties. 144 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:36,429 Oh, not really. 145 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,732 Something's usually on fire by now. 146 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,367 Oh, you're funny. 147 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,536 No, I'm serious. 148 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:44,937 Now, tell me. 149 00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:47,940 How can we get our hands on some of this fantastic caviar? 150 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,942 Well, I wish I could tell you, 151 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:50,877 but it's, uh 152 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:53,146 a private source. 153 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,981 Well, perhaps I should mention then, 154 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,483 that, uh, this is for our yacht party, 155 00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,787 at which there just might be room enough for another guest. 156 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,955 Okay, what are we talking here? 157 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:06,592 Well, maybe five, six ounces? 158 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,228 Let me go see what's in the refrigerator 159 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,330 That a boy, Crane. 160 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,134 Niles, what are you doing? 161 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,169 Oh, good news. 162 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:19,005 Emile Sinclair is crazy about the caviar. 163 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,374 If we sell him the rest, he distinctly implied 164 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,876 he would get our squash lockers moved further from the showers. 165 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,212 Isn't that fantastic? 166 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,547 Per-son-al. 167 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,048 It's, well, it would be, Niles 168 00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:32,051 if the Michaelses weren't equally enamored of it, 169 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,420 and dangling an invitation to a yacht party. 170 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:37,824 That is a pickle. 171 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,759 Check-ing. 172 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:41,661 FRASIER: Niles? 173 00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:44,664 Why don't we just call Petyr, and order some more caviar? 174 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,533 That way we can satisfy both Sinclair and the Michaels. 175 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:52,171 Cus-to-mer Ser-vice. 176 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,141 Niles, this caviar connection 177 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,410 could really open some doors for us. 178 00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:03,382 Per-son-al! 179 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:04,417 What are you doing, Dad? 180 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,419 Oh, this stupid bank's automatic voice system, 181 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,887 it's like a maze! 182 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,422 All right, give it here. 183 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,924 You just push "O" 184 00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,926 and you'll get an operator. 185 00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:16,829 It's a little trick I learned. 186 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,731 Another menu. 187 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,734 Sometimes it's a star. 188 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:28,741 All right, maybe "1" will get me back to a main menu. 189 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:29,709 Ah. 190 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:30,743 Here you are. 191 00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,245 Got me to the right department? 192 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,747 No, but if I remember my high school Spanish correctly, 193 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,250 you just qualified for a small business loan. 194 00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,188 Hi, can I help you? 195 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,223 Yes, um, I was at one of your ATMs yesterday, 196 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,260 and it gave me back more than it should have, so I want... 197 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,761 Okay, for that you'’re going to need to complete 198 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,763 an ATM trouble report, and then take it 199 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,732 to our operations officer at the desk over there. 200 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:56,002 You mean I have to fill this out before I can give you 40 bucks? 201 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,169 Yes, sir. 202 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,305 But your sign says, "Making banking simpler." 203 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,072 Yes, sir. 204 00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,541 Well, this isn't simpler 205 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,875 it's more complicated. 206 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,144 Yes, sir, it is. 207 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:08,581 Oh, forget it. 208 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,853 I knew this was going to be more trouble than it was worth. 209 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,155 A little paperwork's a small price to pay 210 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,156 for a clear conscience. 211 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:18,658 Yeah, meanwhil e, I'm out 40 bucks. 212 00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:20,660 It's not your money. 213 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,764 Can I help you? 214 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:27,600 Yes, uh, I had some trouble with one of your ATMs. 215 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,602 Oh, I can't help you. 216 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:32,104 I need a manager. 217 00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:33,606 I'm proud of you. 218 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:36,375 Trust me, when this is over, you'll feel better. 219 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,177 You really think so? 220 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,178 I'm sure of it. 221 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:40,680 Ah, maybe you're right. 222 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,181 Maybe I will feel better. 223 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,183 And if you're right about that karma stuff 224 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,686 I got a good thing coming to me. 225 00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,187 Uh-oh. 226 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:51,190 How much money did you put in the meter? 227 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:55,061 Oh, son of a bitch 228 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,930 Hi, Mr. Crane, I'm Bree, Todd's manager. 229 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:01,934 I wanted t apologize for the trouble you had with our ATM. 230 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,437 And make sure that you got your $40 231 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,938 What? Uh, oh, no, no, 232 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,341 you don't need to give anything to me. 233 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,710 You see, the machine accidentally gave me $60 234 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,678 instead of $20, so I need to give you $40. 235 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,547 So, you want to put this in your account? 236 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,481 No, no, no. 237 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,984 I want you to take it, plus this $40, 238 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,820 and put it back wherever it came from. 239 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,155 Well, I'm afraid I've already done the paperwork. 240 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:24,657 Now you'll have to speak with our branch manager, 241 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,025 but he's out of town. 242 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,361 This is ridiculous. 243 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,795 I'm sorry. 244 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,797 Although, there is one other possibility. 245 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,165 Let me try something. 246 00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:34,500 Thank you. 247 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,836 Don'’’t mention it. 248 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,672 Per-son-al 249 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,178 Sandoval, four ounces. Right. 250 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,148 Smoot, five ounces. Right. 251 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,083 McBean, ten ounces. 252 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,051 Ten? 253 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,552 Yes, I know it's a lot, 254 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,554 but he promised me the use of his Sonoma estate. 255 00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:56,522 Yes, well, for ten, he should 256 00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,491 You know, for eight, the Ashworths gave me 257 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,426 the use of their box at the opera's opening night gala 258 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,828 But that's the same weeken d as the Black and White ball. 259 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:03,763 When are we going to sleep? 260 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,197 Good Heavens. 261 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:10,169 Sleep is for people without social lives. 262 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,103 (laughs) 263 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,407 So, boys, where's my cut? 264 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,675 Oh, what are you talking about? 265 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,510 I promised her a cut. 266 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,378 You see, I was so busy at work taking orders 267 00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:20,346 that I needed her help. 268 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,181 ROZ: You know what it's really good on? 269 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,549 Scrambled eggs. 270 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:24,550 And pizza. 271 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,052 And potato skins... 272 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:27,520 Yes, Roz, welcome to caviar. 273 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,489 At work, during the show, I'm just sitting there thinking 274 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,458 "Two hours to caviar." 275 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,460 "One hour to caviar." 276 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,763 You don't have any on you, do you? 277 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,032 Uh, no, no. 278 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,300 We're expecting some momentarily. 279 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,568 Cool. 280 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:47,073 You think it'd be good on a cheese Danish? 281 00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:48,574 I think it would. 282 00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:49,575 I'm getting one. 283 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:54,380 Gentlemen. Oh, Petyr, hello. 284 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,882 Yes, hello, but I am afraid also good-bye. 285 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,385 Hmm? What? What do you mean good-bye? 286 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,886 All these orders I fill for you. 287 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,221 It draws too much attention. 288 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,556 It's too risky for me. 289 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,824 What are you saying? 290 00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,459 That, that there's no more caviar? 291 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,360 This is my last delivery. 292 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,096 But this isn't nearly enough. 293 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,964 We've made commitments to some very powerful people. 294 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,300 If we disappoint them, there's no telling what they might do. 295 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,134 They will break legs? 296 00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:16,469 Cut off thumbs? 297 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,170 Worse, there'll be gossip. 298 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,507 Petyr, please, just one more delivery. 299 00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,442 I cannot, the danger is too great. 300 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:25,344 Petyr! 301 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,348 Dear God. 302 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:30,850 We're ruined, Niles. 303 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:31,851 We owe people all over town. 304 00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,152 I know. 305 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,954 Is some of that mine? Can I have it now? 306 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,422 Roz, Roz, I'm terribly sorry. 307 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,858 It seems our supplier is going out of business, 308 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,227 and every ounce of this is spoken for. 309 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,028 Well, that's too bad. 310 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,430 Oh, well, whatever 311 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,931 I was thinking of giving it up anyway 312 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:46,932 Too much salt. 313 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:47,933 Yes, good girl. 314 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,301 All right, Niles, we can't panic. 315 00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,636 I think I have a plan. 316 00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:51,637 I like it. 317 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,140 We may have to bite the bullet 318 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,574 and buy retail 319 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,476 Petyr's stuff is much better quality. 320 00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,944 Our friends will notice the difference. 321 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,946 Not if we cut it with what's left of the good stuff. 322 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,947 How much is there? 323 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,949 There's... Roz! 324 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,452 Oh, dear God! 325 00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,123 This is going to cost us a fortune. 326 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,658 What else can we do? 327 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,160 Uh, excuse me. 328 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,662 Would you happen to know where we can get... 329 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:20,166 five pounds of Beluga caviar? 330 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,669 There'’s not that much Beluga in all of Seattle. 331 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,670 Thank you. 332 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:27,173 What are we going to do? 333 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,175 All right, just give me a chance to think, Niles. 334 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,676 Ah... 335 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:35,014 What was the name of the boat-- 336 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,849 H.M.S.Bounty. 337 00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:43,856 This isn't Trivial Pursuit! 338 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,157 Let me finish! 339 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,429 What was the n ame of the boat 340 00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,765 that Petyr said he sailed on? 341 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,166 Caspian Queen. 342 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,635 Niles, 343 00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,571 if we can find that boat, 344 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:02,575 perhaps we can get enough caviar to solve our problem. 345 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:07,179 Roz. 346 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,115 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 347 00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:13,619 I think the question is, what are you doing here? 348 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,055 You know, shopping... for stuff. 349 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:19,558 u? You're looking for more caviar, aren't yo 350 00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:22,061 Of course, I am, you took all mine! 351 00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:23,829 That was ours! 352 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,432 You know, Roz, I think you may have a little problem. 353 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,800 You're the one with the problem. 354 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:28,801 Not me. 355 00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:30,302 This is all your fault. 356 00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:31,303 You made me try it. 357 00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:32,304 Now I crave it! 358 00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:33,606 I really hate you! 359 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:36,408 Now, Roz... 360 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:39,945 you know you don'’’t mean that 361 00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,413 Now, come on. 362 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:42,915 Listen, it's just possible 363 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:46,418 that we may be able to get some more from our old supplier. 364 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:47,419 Is that true? Yes. 365 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:48,420 Is he right? 366 00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:49,922 I'm sorry I said I hate you. 367 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,424 Roz, Roz, it's all right. Are you going to get it today? 368 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:53,926 I love you! 369 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:01,433 (phone ringing) 370 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:02,701 Oh, shoot. 371 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,937 (doorbell chimes) 372 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:05,905 (phone ringing) 373 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:10,342 Hello. 374 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:12,778 Ah, no, I'm sorry, Frasier isn't here. 375 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,347 Sure, you can place an order. 376 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:19,351 Yes, let me transfer you to that department. 377 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,355 Hi, Daph. Hello. 378 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,257 The postman gave me your mail. 379 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,258 Oh, thanks. 380 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,760 You ready to get stretched? 381 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,162 Oh, you mean we're working out today? 382 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,497 We work out every day. 383 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,499 Yeah, yeah, I know. 384 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,501 Oh, postcard from the bank. 385 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,971 Uh, "Dear Mr. Crane, we apologize for the inconvenience. 386 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:42,474 "We have evaluated your request 387 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:45,811 and credited your account $80"! 388 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,850 There's no spaces. 389 00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:53,319 I parked your car in a loading zone. 390 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,287 No, no, no, just pull around front and wait for me. 391 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,188 This won't take long. 392 00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,489 You're sure? Yes. 393 00:15:57,489 --> 00:15:58,824 And you better get back to the car 394 00:15:58,824 --> 00:15:59,792 before Eddie starts to panic. 395 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,229 Hi, how can I help you make banking simpler? 396 00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,632 I'll tell you how you can help me. 397 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,068 I'm going to talk and you're going to listen, 398 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,903 and you're going to do exactly as I ask. 399 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,672 I think I should go get a manager. 400 00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:14,506 No, no managers. 401 00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,308 But our policy is... 402 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,711 Now this is real simple, and I know you can handle it. 403 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,179 Now what I want you to do is-- 404 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,214 GUARD: Hold it right there, Mister! 405 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:30,489 Mr. Crane, as the president of the bank, I want to assure you 406 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,157 that it is not our policy 407 00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:35,494 to draw firearms on customers trying to make a deposit. 408 00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:40,666 It wasn't a deposit. 409 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:46,438 Now, I'm sure that neither of us wants to turn this 410 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,340 into a protracted legal battle, 411 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,044 so if you would simply sign this non-disclosure agreement 412 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:56,215 here, here, here.. 413 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,716 and here. 414 00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:01,720 Our attorneys have authorized me to compensate you 415 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:05,124 for your troubles in the amount of $10,000, 416 00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:08,027 which can be credited to your account. 417 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,397 Ten grand? 418 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,566 Plus, the $40 from our original mistake. 419 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,038 Oh, what the hell. 420 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,507 I just want to get it over with. 421 00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,409 That's wonderful. 422 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,145 Now, is there anything else I can do for you? 423 00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:29,481 Could I open an account? 424 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,989 FRASIER: Ahoy! 425 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,995 Ahoy! 426 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,931 Is anyone here? 427 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,766 Oh, hello. 428 00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:50,769 I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. 429 00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:54,239 And, uh, this is my brother, 430 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,741 Dr. Niles Crane. 431 00:17:57,509 --> 00:18:00,179 We're interested in purchasing some Beluga caviar. 432 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:03,415 This is not a shop. I have nothing for sale. 433 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,249 See? Let's go. 434 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,717 No, no, no, Niles, Niles... 435 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,187 This is how the game is played. 436 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,689 Maybe he thinks we're Russian Mafia. 437 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:11,657 Oh, yes. 438 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:15,594 People make that mistake about us all the time. 439 00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,499 Petyr gave us this card, 440 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,801 and told us that this was his cousin's boat. 441 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,704 Are you sure you can't help us? 442 00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:28,107 (speaking Russian) 443 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:33,512 (laughing) 444 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,481 How much do you need? 445 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,383 Five pounds. 446 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,220 (speaking Russian) 447 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,659 $80 an ounce. 448 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,662 Well, we were paying $40. 449 00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:52,498 And now you pay $80. 450 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:53,765 $50. 451 00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:54,666 $80. 452 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,034 $60. $80. 453 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,637 I don't think you're doing this right. 454 00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:00,906 $70, that's my final offer. 455 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,407 $80. Done! 456 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:07,412 I want to taste it first. 457 00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,352 Go ahead. 458 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,195 That's the stuff. 459 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,030 That's enough to take care of everyone 460 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,031 and still go out on top! 461 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,033 Yes, all right, here's your money. 462 00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:29,535 Pleasure doing business with you. 463 00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:32,037 MAN (over PA): Stop where you are! U.S. Customs! 464 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:33,038 U.S. Customs! 465 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:34,039 U.S. Customs. Oh, my God! 466 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,541 Frasier, we have to get rid ofit. 467 00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:36,542 Oh, dear God! 468 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:37,409 Oh, dear God! 469 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,377 Oh, dear God! Oh, dear God! 470 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,212 All right, all right, we have to hide it! 471 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:41,613 No, Niles, you can't hide it! 472 00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,549 They're U.S. Customs! That's what they do! 473 00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,117 They find things on ships! 474 00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:47,953 I know one way to get rid of it. 475 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:59,064 Can I get you a toast point? 476 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,899 Oh, here, for God's sakes! 477 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,510 What the hell's all this? 478 00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:17,583 It's not ours, we found it. 479 00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:18,884 What, the caviar? 480 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,253 Is that what this is? 481 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:22,654 Relax, we don't care about that. 482 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,656 We're looking for a couple of Russians 483 00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:26,024 who've been smuggling DVDs 484 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,168 My heart is pounding. 485 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:40,138 I was afraid we were going to get arrested. 486 00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,074 What have we become? 487 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,375 I don't know. 488 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,678 We got caught up in a nefarious scheme. 489 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,180 And for what? 490 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,116 A visit to a wine country estate? 491 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,819 A box at the opera? 492 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,587 Dinner at the Governor's Mansion? 493 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,359 How much of this do you think we can salvage? 494 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,361 I don't know, just start scraping. 495 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,502 ♪♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-calling ♪♪ 496 00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:13,872 ♪♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪♪ 497 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,274 Oh, my. 498 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,277 ♪♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪♪ 499 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,212 ♪♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪♪ 500 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,581 (laughs) 501 00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,249 ♪♪ But I don'’’t know what to do ♪♪ 502 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:28,153 ♪♪ With those tossed salad s and scrambled eggs ♪♪ 503 00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:31,156 ♪♪ They'’’re calling again . ♪♪ 504 00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,158 Good night!