1 00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:12,579 Hey, you're looking a little under the weather. 2 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,214 You all right? 3 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,016 He most certainly is not. 4 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,317 He dined on that lovely can of bacon fat 5 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:18,545 you've been hiding under the sink. 6 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,054 Aw, geez. Poor little guy. 7 00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:22,222 (doorbell rings) 8 00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:25,725 You know bacon grease is bad for dogs. 9 00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:29,217 Ironic, considering its vast health benefits for humans. 10 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,722 Hello. Hi, guys. Hello. 11 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,223 Hey. Sorry we're late. 12 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:36,736 Well, that's all right. 13 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,238 We're not having lunch until 1 :1 5. 14 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,739 Oh, great. 15 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,604 Oh, long night, Niles? 16 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,411 Oh, a bit. We were out at a party last night. 17 00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:46,106 At Bill Gates' house. 18 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,070 Really? 19 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,354 Some sort of charity event? 20 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,050 Oh, no, just a few people over for dinner. 21 00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,223 His wife has been following 22 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,118 Maris's case, and she wanted to meet us. 23 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,633 It seems the story's captured everyone's imagination. 24 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,134 People want to get the inside scoop. 25 00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:09,536 Their house is enormous. 26 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,371 I got lost going to the loo, 27 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:14,272 but a voice in the wall guided me back. 28 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,778 Sounds like fun. 29 00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:19,767 Anyway, I thought after lunch 30 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,281 we might stop by the museum 31 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,782 for the Goya exhibit. 32 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,284 Actually, we're going 33 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:27,087 tomorrow night with the Blenkinsops. 34 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,721 Tomorrow? But... 35 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,690 the museum's closed tomorrow. 36 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:33,318 Not for Bunny and Bruce. 37 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,196 Well. Oh. 38 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,198 With all the rarefied elbows you've been rubbing lately, 39 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,200 I'm surprised you could find the time for lunch 40 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,201 with a commoner like me. 41 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,829 Oh, now, stop, but if we could get going, 42 00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:45,839 I have a perfume launch at 4:00. 43 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,340 Oh. 44 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,329 (doorbell ringing) 45 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:53,847 It's a pretty lady holding some mail. 46 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:57,317 Oh, you didn't pull that trick again, did you? 47 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,285 I have no idea what you're talking about. 48 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,689 Step aside. Don't let her slip it under the door. 49 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:03,690 Hello. 50 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,191 Hi. Sorry to disturb you. 51 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,681 Some of your mail got mixed in with mine. 52 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,194 Oh, dear. How did that happen? 53 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,697 Some of it just seemed to be jammed in there. 54 00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,198 Uh-huh. 55 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,700 Really? Well, you know, 56 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,702 we must make allowances for our mailman. 57 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,600 He's a veteran. 58 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,873 So, uh... 59 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,407 my name's Dr. Frasier Crane. 60 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,876 Caroline Harwich. 61 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,377 Nice to meet you, and this is my family. 62 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:25,366 My father, Martin Crane. 63 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:26,379 Hi. 64 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:27,380 My sister-in-law, Daphne, 65 00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,382 and my brother, Niles. 66 00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,384 You look awfully familiar. Have we met? 67 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,886 I am somewhat of a media figure. 68 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,387 No, your brother. 69 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:37,379 Oh, you're Niles Crane from that big murder case. 70 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,256 I saw you on the news. 71 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,561 Mmm. He's been on three times this week. 72 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:43,263 He's practically famous. 73 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:45,565 Oh, well... hardly famous. 74 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:48,268 Yes, my brother doesn't like to toot his own horn. 75 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:51,271 You know, I was discussing that very personality type today 76 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,262 on my very popular radio show. 77 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,268 Oh, right, right-- Dr. Frasier Crane. 78 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,269 Yes. 79 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:57,577 Yes, my mother listens to you. 80 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,579 Oh. 81 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,282 Well, anyway, it was nice meeting you all. 82 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,283 Yes, likewise. Take care. Bye-bye. 83 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,285 Yes, bye. 84 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,582 You know, isn't it nice to know 85 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,922 there are still honest people in the world? 86 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,391 How come your mail never gets mixed up 87 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:12,759 with that sweaty fat guy's upstairs? 88 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,750 We should, we should really be running along. 89 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,763 Yes, yes, you know, I'm afraid 90 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,253 we'll have to be lunching at Vindaloo. 91 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:19,766 I couldn't get us in at le Toque. 92 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:20,767 Mmm... 93 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,200 Oh, n... 94 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,836 Well, you know, maybe I should call. 95 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:26,339 I've had the best luck with restaurants lately. 96 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,342 Well, they swore that they were absolutely booked solid. 97 00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,843 Oh, dear. 98 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,345 Hello. Yes, wondering if you could possibly 99 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,336 squeeze in three for lunch today? 100 00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,583 That's Dr. Crane. 101 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,318 No, actually Niles. 102 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,320 Oh, how lovely. Thank you. 103 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,378 We'll see you in a bit. 104 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:53,933 Oh, hey, Fras. 105 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:54,922 Oh, hi. 106 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:56,436 I'm so sorry about the show. 107 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:57,937 I was a little distracted. 108 00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,940 Oh, yes, I sensed that when you patched through Wanda, 109 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,942 who wanted to know what our soup of the day was. 110 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:06,446 My sister Denise is in town. I hate it when she visits. 111 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,948 She isn't happy until she make me feel completely miserable. 112 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,451 Do you know what she called my place? 113 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,953 "Cozy. " 114 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:14,954 Well, that's a compliment. 115 00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:16,945 No, it's code for smaller than hers. 116 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,958 Cappuccino, please. 117 00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,949 She wraps every insult up in a compliment. 118 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,463 When I try to call her on it, she just says, 119 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,465 "Hon, I was trying to be nice. 120 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,955 You're so sensitive. " 121 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:30,459 And of course everything in her life is so perfect. 122 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,472 Her home, her husband, 123 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:36,976 her stretch of highway she keeps clean. 124 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,466 She's so competitive. 125 00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:39,967 Mmm. 126 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,481 Well, if it's any comfort, 127 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:44,473 Niles has been perfectly insufferable of late. 128 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:48,988 This whole Maris affair has gained him some mild notoriety. 129 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:51,991 He's been flaunting it like a tattered boa. 130 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,994 I'm trying to do the right thing and rise above it, of course, 131 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,496 but there are times when I just want 132 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,997 to step on his feet-- and hard, too. 133 00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:58,998 Ooh. 134 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,500 Denise! 135 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,501 Frasier, hi. Hello, Denise. 136 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,502 How are you? 137 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:03,870 Good to see you. 138 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,439 Well, you are looking very distinguished. 139 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:07,740 Thank you. 140 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,442 That's code for old. 141 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,744 i know. 142 00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:14,747 Oh, i am so sorry i'm late. 143 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,749 Craig called. 144 00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,751 The poor thing, he misses me so much 145 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,447 it's just impossible to get him off the phone. 146 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,456 i hope this makes it up to you. 147 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:26,759 Now, Roz, i know you love your sportswear, 148 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,462 but trust me, men like women 149 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,465 who wear dresses once in a while. 150 00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:33,454 So you've said. 151 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,768 Denise, you having fun on your trip? 152 00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:37,470 Oh, yes. Staying with Roz 153 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,771 is always so much fun-- it's sort of like camping. 154 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,773 (phone ringing) 155 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,475 Ooh. 156 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,464 Hello? 157 00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:46,472 it's my contractors. 158 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,771 Take my advice-- never build a pool house. 159 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,486 Oh, hon, i picked us up a Seattle magazine 160 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:56,478 so we can find some fun things to do this week. 161 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,791 Does that include rolling it up, 162 00:05:58,791 --> 00:05:59,792 turning it sideways and... 163 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,794 Now, Roz. 164 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,496 At least she's trying. 165 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,793 She did get you a gift, after all, 166 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,800 and look, it's very chic, and expensive, i'm sure. 167 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,495 And two sizes too small. 168 00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:10,496 All right, she's a bitch. 169 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:11,792 Thank you. 170 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,508 Hey, hey, it's Mr. Sea Bees. 171 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:16,805 The nominations are in? 172 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:17,805 Yeah, two of them. 173 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:19,500 Oh, Roz! Yay! 174 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,814 Actually, Roz, they're both for Frasier 175 00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,516 You're up for Best Host 176 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:25,518 and Best informational Special 177 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,510 which gives you the lifetime record for most nominations. 178 00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,456 Oh, my God! i'm... 179 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,657 i'm so flattered. 180 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,159 i hope you two will join me at my table? 181 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,660 Ugh, those awards are endless. 182 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:35,661 They're torture. 183 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,662 Can i bring my sister? 184 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:37,651 Of course. 185 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:43,169 Oh, look. it's Niles. 186 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:45,671 You going to tell him you broke the SeaBees record? 187 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,173 if it comes up. 188 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,675 You know, Doc, we should take advantage of this thing. 189 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:52,178 i got a friend at the Seattle Times who owes me one. 190 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,180 i could ask him to write a big profile on you. 191 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,670 Thank you, no, Kenny. 192 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:59,685 let others engage in that sort of shameless self-promotion. 193 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,687 i'm not interested in playing that sort of game. 194 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:02,688 Oh, Niles. 195 00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:04,679 Hi. listen, Frasier, i'm so sorry. 196 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,692 i have to cancel tonight. 197 00:07:06,692 --> 00:07:09,195 i-i-i'm going to go hear Tony Bennett. 198 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,197 Oh. Really? Really, where's he playing? 199 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:14,200 At Frank Gehry's birthday party. 200 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:18,204 Well, speaking of glamorous parties, Niles... 201 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:19,694 Oh, no, is that Seattle magazine? 202 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,696 i was hoping you hadn't seen it. 203 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,209 Seen what? 204 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,710 Oh, nothing. Nothing. 205 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:27,201 it's a silly thing . it's page 30. 206 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:29,715 Oh, it's one of those 207 00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:31,717 "What's Hot- What's Not" lists. i love these. 208 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:32,718 "Heirloom tomatoes, hot. 209 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:33,719 Sun-dried tomatoes, not... " 210 00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,721 Give me that. 211 00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:38,724 Ha-ha. 212 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:40,726 "Dr. Niles Crane, hot. Dr. Frasier Crane... " 213 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,216 Well, you see where they're going with this. 214 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,731 Well, we'll just see who's not hot 215 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,221 when the winter/spring edition 216 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,235 of Seattle Broadcaster comes out. 217 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:51,237 For your information, Niles, i have recently... 218 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,738 Excuse me. i'm so sorry for this. 219 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:54,240 i'm going to get some coffee. 220 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,241 Oh, dear. Oh... 221 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,242 Oh. 222 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,244 Hello. Hello, Daphne. 223 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:01,747 A delivery from Bill and Mindy? 224 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,237 Aren't they sweet? 225 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:04,750 (sighs) No. 226 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:05,739 Don't uncrate it till i get home. 227 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,190 Kenny, about that article. 228 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,692 Way ahead of you, Doc. 229 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,627 No, he'll make for a great profile. 230 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:17,630 SeaBees record holder, doctor, big ladies' man-- 231 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,131 the whole ball of wax. 232 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,622 Uh, well, you can ask him yourself. 233 00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:26,639 Hello. Yes, well , when would be agood time for you? 234 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,641 Oh, i've just had the greatest idea. 235 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:32,144 What if you interview me while we're at the SeaBee Awards? 236 00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:33,646 Yes, it'll be a freewheeling chat 237 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:36,649 against a glittering backdrop. 238 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:40,653 Splendid. i will see you anon. 239 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,154 Hey. 240 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:45,146 No, he always talks like that. 241 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:48,160 Why are you taking him to the SeaBees? 242 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,162 Because i want him to see me at my best, Roz. 243 00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:52,164 Do your realize, i'm giving the opening remarks this year, 244 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:55,167 and if i do say so myself, they will change you. 245 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,658 Yeah, from an awake person to a sleeping one. 246 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:01,140 (gasps) Perfect. 247 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,631 All i was lacking was the appropriate piece of arm candy to accompany me 248 00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:05,144 and there she is. 249 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,145 Who's she? 250 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,147 it's a neighbor of mine in the building 251 00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:09,148 whose acquaintance i have recently made. 252 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,137 Oh, right. Daphne told me 253 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,641 you pulled that old mail trick out of moth balls. 254 00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:15,154 Caroline. 255 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,156 Frasier, hello. 256 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,157 Hi. Good to see you. 257 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,148 Cappuccino, to go. 258 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,649 Thank you so much for those flowers. 259 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:23,651 Oh, gosh, it was the least i could do 260 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,164 after that stumblebum of a mailman 261 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,666 made you do his job for him. 262 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,135 Oh, i'd send him a complaintit. letter if i'd think he'd get 263 00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,659 (laughing) 264 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,138 That's delightful. 265 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,139 Uh, listen, uh... 266 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,640 i hope this isn't too bold, 267 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,144 but you see, i've been nominat for a broadcast award, 268 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,645 twice actually, and i was... well, 269 00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:43,149 there's a, there's a black -tgala on Saturday night. 270 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,639 i was hoping you could accompany me. 271 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,641 Why, thank you. i'd love to. 272 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,644 Fantastic. i'll pick you up around 7:30. 273 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:54,660 Well, i worked my magic. 274 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,162 That magnificent creature 275 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,164 will be accompanying me on Saturday night. 276 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,655 Frasier, the awards are Saturday morning. 277 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:04,336 What? Of course they're not. 278 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:05,838 Yes, they are. 279 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:08,306 Who would plan an awards ceremony on a Saturday morning? 280 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,299 Kenny was in charge this year. He booked the room too late. 281 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:13,713 See you this weekend. 282 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,704 Oh... Yeah, bye-bye. Uh... right. 283 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,016 Oh, oh, don't forget-- 284 00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:19,719 i'll pick you up, 7:30 Saturday morning. 285 00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,016 Bye-bye. 286 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,726 Saturday morning? 287 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,027 Yes, Yes. Did i...? 288 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,723 i did mention that, didn't i 289 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,733 Oh, gosh. it-it seems the SeaBees are to be 290 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,035 a cheery breakfast event this year. 291 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:37,737 but the good news is, actually, 292 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,038 i'll be able to get you home by noon. 293 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,740 Bye-bye. 294 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,041 Yeah, i don't think that's going to work for me. 295 00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,810 i have Pilates on Saturdays. 296 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:50,750 Oh, gosh, i wish you'd said something sooner. 297 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,047 i'm sorry. Bye-bye. 298 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:53,741 Yeah. 299 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,755 Oh, you can't blame her, Frasier. 300 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:58,691 Who wants to get into hair and makeup at 8:00 in the morning? 301 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,993 Well, somebody better. i'm being profiled. 302 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,995 it's gonna looke like i can't even scare up a date 303 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,986 You scared that one pretty good. 304 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,443 Cindy, where are you? 305 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,445 listen, this thing's about to start. 306 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,947 Well, i'm sorry you broke your heel, 307 00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,950 but can't you just put o n a different pair of shoes? 308 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:28,454 Oh, your actual heel. Ouch. 309 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:32,958 Well, uh... feel better. 310 00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:33,947 (sighs) 311 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:37,396 Roz, are you sure this dress didn't fit you? 312 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,899 Because i'm just swimming in it. 313 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,389 Two Bloody Marys, please. 314 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:42,902 And there's a 20 in it for you 315 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:43,903 if one of them's poisoned. 316 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,771 i don't even care which one. 317 00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:46,772 There's a face i'm happy to see. 318 00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,074 Frasier. 319 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,775 Not you, Roz. Denise, listen. 320 00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:51,777 Could you do me a small favor? 321 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,768 , You see, my date didn't show up 322 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,781 and there's a reporter here today 323 00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,783 doing a story on me. 324 00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:58,943 Could you pretend to be my date? 325 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:03,481 Well, sure. First, the valet hits on me, and now this. 326 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:04,753 Hi, guys. 327 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,226 Some spread. i got pigs in a blanket 328 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,761 lying on an omelet pillow. 329 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,864 And check it out-- it snowed cheese. 330 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:15,234 Oh, Roz, larry Gamba couldn't make it. 331 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,169 So, if he wins, can you accept for him? 332 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:18,771 Sure, Kenny. Nothing takes the sting 333 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,272 out of not being nominated 334 00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:22,274 like accepting an award for my former intern. 335 00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:25,277 Now, Roz, don't frown. 336 00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:28,075 Those lines don't go away. 337 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:29,849 Oh, hey there! Randy! Over here! 338 00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:30,850 This is the reporter. 339 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,852 Here he is-- the Doc himself. 340 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,154 This is Roz Doyle, his ace producer. 341 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,156 And this is my dad, Martin Crane. 342 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:39,158 Dad, could you move over one? 343 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,160 Thank you, Kenny. Here we are. 344 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,162 And i'd like you to meet my date, 345 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:45,865 the lovely and talented Denise Dawson. 346 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,867 Oh, honey, stop it. 347 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:48,856 it's a pleasure to meet you. 348 00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:50,870 Very nice. 349 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,861 So, i'm so glad you could join us 350 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,440 on our gala morning. 351 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,442 is this thing always so early? 352 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,444 No. But, then, the SeaBees has always been 353 00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,945 the wayward maverick of award shows. 354 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,448 in fact, i plan to touch on that 355 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,450 in my opening remarks, 356 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,452 while hewing to my original theme 357 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,555 of communication as the engine of social progress. 358 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,056 Sounds great. 359 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:13,547 Could i get a big cup of coffee, please? 360 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,631 What's Niles doing here? i gave him Ronee's ticket. 361 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,901 She said she hated to miss it, but she didn't want to come. 362 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,301 Hello, i'm sorry i'm late. 363 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,305 i had to distribute some sound bites. 364 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,973 That's quite all right,Dr. Crane. 365 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,475 i'm very excited to meet you. 366 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,476 Randall Schoonover of the Seattle Times. 367 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,545 He's doing Oh. Hello. 368 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,047 a profile of me: "A Day in the life of Dr. Frasier Crane. " 369 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:37,016 But if there's anything you'd like to tell my readers... 370 00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,108 Oh, uh... thank you. 371 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,950 i'm just here to support my brother. 372 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:41,854 "Supports his brother. " 373 00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:43,355 (music begins playing) 374 00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:44,857 Oh! Well, i guess it's time 375 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,348 for me to give my opening remarks. 376 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,862 You just, uh... 377 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:53,354 sit tight, and i'll be back in 20 minutes. 378 00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:57,870 You want to give me a cue 379 00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,360 so i know when to play you offstage? 380 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,874 Ah! You will feel the pace quicken 381 00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,709 as i build to my climax: 382 00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:06,212 a grim verbal picture of the world without broadcasting. 383 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,614 Just tell me the last words. 384 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,673 i'll say, "Thank you. " 385 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,121 Good morning. 386 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:19,124 i'm Dr. Frasier Crane, and it is my great honor 387 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:21,627 to stand before you, my fellow luminaries, 388 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:24,619 and welcome you to the Seattle Broadcasting Awards. 389 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,866 i hope to do justice 390 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,960 to the dignity of this most august occasion. 391 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,377 i've been asked to inform everyone 392 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,175 that we are running low on sausage... 393 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,317 so if you would please limit yourselves 394 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:49,219 to one link or patty. 395 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,890 Thank you. 396 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,491 (band plays) 397 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:53,958 But i'm not finished. 398 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:55,484 Thanks, Frasier. 399 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,327 Oh... oh, thank you. 400 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,365 Now... 401 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,390 who wants to hand out some hardware? 402 00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,334 Angela DiStefano... 403 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,672 Keith Meebly... 404 00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:12,411 and Chet Hardy, 405 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,402 the legendary host of "it's Your Dime. " 406 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,007 So many greats this year. 407 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:21,020 This is for you, my dear. 408 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,021 (phone rings) 409 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,012 Hello. 410 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:27,026 Oh, hi, Craig. 411 00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,324 Honey, i've got to take this. 412 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,327 Oh. Okay. Hurry back, love. 413 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:35,534 So, Randall, where were we? 414 00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,036 Your brother was just telling me 415 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:39,538 how Maris is coping with jail. 416 00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:42,441 So is it true that Maris tried to break out? 417 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,109 Oh, no, no, no. 418 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,445 Her eyebrow pencil simply rolled out of her cell, 419 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,113 and she went to get it. 420 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,410 it's really the jail's fault 421 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,412 for making those bars so far apart. 422 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:56,088 This is really my brother's day though. 423 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,181 And now the nominees for Best informational Special. 424 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,125 Doc, this is you. 425 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,993 Riley Austin for Underground Skateboarder. 426 00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:08,400 Harper Norton for inside the Statehouse, 427 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,002 and Dr. Frasier Crane 428 00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,371 for The Young Person's Guide to Depression. 429 00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:14,236 And the winner is... 430 00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:18,437 Riley Austin. 431 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:27,315 i'm just going to track down some Sweet'N low. 432 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,989 Well, Niles, you should have powdered your nose 433 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,980 if you planned to spend so much time in my spotlight. 434 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,087 i was just making conversation. 435 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,190 Well, stop it. 436 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,428 Knock it off, you two. 437 00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,130 if you can't share this reporter, 438 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,119 i'm going to ask him to leave. 439 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:42,101 Roz, get ready. This is larry's category. 440 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,370 i can't believe that this happened. 441 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,371 No, it-it's all right. 442 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:46,739 i-i'm still up for Best Host. 443 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,209 Craig... He's leaving me. 444 00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,543 What? 445 00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:54,213 He met someone else. 446 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:56,238 i can't believe this is happening to me. 447 00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,474 And the winner is larry Gamba for KACl. 448 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,521 KENNY: Roz, get up there. 449 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,523 This is so terrible. 450 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,058 i know, i know. 451 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,193 How would you know what it's like 452 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,695 to lose a husband, Roz? 453 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,196 You never even had one. 454 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,532 Accepting the award is Roz Doyle. 455 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,329 (sobbing) 456 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,104 Um, thanks, Plum. 457 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,402 Um... larry couldn't be here today, 458 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,208 but if he were here, 459 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,778 he would say, um... 460 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,109 Yes! 461 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,582 Thank you, God! 462 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:33,419 Yes! This is the best day 463 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:34,420 of my entire life! 464 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,088 i-i've just been waiting for this 465 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,424 since i was a little girl! 466 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,425 Yes! (music playing) 467 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,094 You have no idea how much this means to me! 468 00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:43,391 Yes! 469 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,396 Thank you. Thank you so much. 470 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:51,432 i hate men. 471 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,140 Now, now, Denise... 472 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,131 Shut up. You're all the same. 473 00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:58,132 No, listen, Denise, i know... 474 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:01,238 Get your hands off me! Stop it! 475 00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,514 There's no need for you to write that down. 476 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,320 And now the nominees for Best Radio Call-in Host. 477 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,189 Better get ready, Doc-- this one has your name on it. 478 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,624 Well, it better, because this whole show has been a nightmare, 479 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,293 not that it actually could be a nightmare, 480 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,494 because it's mid-morning. 481 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:19,298 And the SeaBee goes to... 482 00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:22,668 the late Chet Hardy, for "it's Your Dime. " 483 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,169 (music plays) 484 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,158 MARTiN: Sorry, son. 485 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,406 You can't beat a dead guy. 486 00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:30,466 Dead. That's the best kind of guy. 487 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:31,743 i think maybe i have enough. 488 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,313 Uh, no, pl-pl-please don't go. 489 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:36,648 Uh, listen, the show'll be over very soon. 490 00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:38,650 They actually have a Bat Mitzvah booked for noon, 491 00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:40,652 so maybe we can finish up in the lobby. 492 00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:42,321 Okay, i'll get my coat . Thank you. 493 00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,323 i hope you can join us, Niles. 494 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,312 Oh, uh... 495 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:48,961 Don't you dare. 496 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,131 You have been monopolizing that man's time all morning. 497 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,367 You should be thanking me for distractinghim from this circus. 498 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:58,165 You should talk-- You've been the ringmaster of your own media circus 499 00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,172 for the last week. And it's just killing you, isn't it? 500 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:03,164 if you think i am jealous of your tawdry notoriety, 501 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,170 then you don't know who i am. 502 00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,146 Just like most of the people in this city. 503 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,135 You go too far! 504 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,343 (woman screams) 505 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:14,686 Doc, that's Jerry Edwards. 506 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:16,381 He's supposed to close the show. 507 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:17,677 is he all right? 508 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,691 Oh, no, 509 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,326 you knocked his glass eye out. 510 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,328 You're going to have to close the show. 511 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,317 What? Well, 512 00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,331 you took him out... and you'll be the only guy 513 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,700 in history to open and close the SeaBees. 514 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,292 Really? 515 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,839 Nobody's ever done it before? 516 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,704 But i don't have anything prepared. 517 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,442 Don't worry, it's all on the TelePrompTer. 518 00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:40,741 Now get up there and sing. it's to the tune of Moon River. 519 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:45,284 Ooh, think i just kicked something. 520 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,878 ("Moon River" playing) 521 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:56,361 The SeaBees now are at an end 522 00:19:56,361 --> 00:20:02,267 We hope you've made a friend or two 523 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,603 And the SeaBees 524 00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:07,406 Have great freebies 525 00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,397 Just pick up your bag 526 00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,739 At the door to your right 527 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,612 Found it! 528 00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:14,613 That's an olive. 529 00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:18,276 The SeaBees 530 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:21,286 We hope your day was great 531 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:25,657 And yes, we validate-- right there 532 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:33,432 See Rico, Eduardo or Jen 533 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,968 They'll bring it round the bend 534 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,604 A Hyundai or a Benz 535 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:51,608 The SeaBees are through.