1 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:13,113 And one of those cinnamon buns please, extra frosting. 2 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:15,104 Oh, here they are. Hey. 3 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,117 Hi, you guys. 4 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,108 We were so excited when you guys asked us out. 5 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,122 You're like the A-list couple in Lamaze class. 6 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,123 Well, that's good to hear. 7 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,125 We were afraid we were in the C-Section. 8 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,683 (chuckling) 9 00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,195 We bring our own food everywhere. 10 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:32,187 Sandy doesn't put anything unhealthy in her body. 11 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,490 No refined sugar, white flour, or gluten. 12 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,136 I'm sure you're the same. 13 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,433 Oh, of course. 14 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:39,139 Cinnamon bun. 15 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,436 No, thank you. I'm pregnant. 16 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:43,709 - But you... - I said no. 17 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:47,213 Sweetie, this is your best yam loaf yet. 18 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,516 He's a saint. He cooks my food, 19 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,217 rubs cocoa butter on my belly... 20 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,519 I just wish I could 21 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,214 go through the birth for her. 22 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,525 Hey, what are you guys doing with your placenta? 23 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,527 Ours will nourish the roots 24 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,222 of a special tree we plant in our yard. 25 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,533 Well, we live in an apartment. 26 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,535 Although that ficusin the study 27 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,236 is looking a tad droopy. 28 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,238 By the way, 29 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,227 if you need a doula... 30 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,542 Cindy, I'm sure they already have one. 31 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,543 Everybody has a doula. 32 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:19,245 BRAD: Ours is a treasure. 33 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:22,248 She'll be there through the whole delivery, you know, 34 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,546 focusing our energies, giving us emotional support. 35 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,253 I don't know how people do it without one. 36 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,555 She's really helped Brad. 37 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:31,257 He's having a really tough sympathy pregnancy. 38 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,559 Oh, boy. 39 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,560 Honey? 40 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,561 I'm just... 41 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,263 I'm feeling a little sick again I'm sorry. 42 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,252 I just need some air. 43 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,268 We're so in sync. 44 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,270 He feels everything I'm feeling. 45 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,272 Nausea, weight gain, food cravings. 46 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:48,274 You know, in psychological terms, 47 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,434 that's called Couvade Syndrome. 48 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,835 We just call it love. 49 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:58,618 I don't like them. 50 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,688 They're getting so much more out of this than we are. 51 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,178 We don't even have a placenta plan. 52 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,693 No, wait-- let's not panic. 53 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,194 All we need is expert help. 54 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,196 We'll hire one of those doula people. 55 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,698 I'll get the number from Brad. 56 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,700 Sorry. Sorry. 57 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:17,192 Oh, this pregnancy is taking it 58 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,272 out of me. 59 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:22,842 My breasts are so tender today. 60 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:24,344 You know what? 61 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,778 I'm starting to feel a bit nauseous. 62 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,720 (rattling) 63 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:46,721 Oh. 64 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:47,722 WOMAN: Hi. 65 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,724 Welcome to Charlotte's Web: 66 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,738 A Matchmaking Service. Come in. 67 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,239 I'm sorry... Isn't this...? 68 00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:54,741 Oh, I see what happened. 69 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:55,730 I must have been so engrossed in my paper 70 00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:57,243 I went right past my floor. 71 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,745 Of course. 72 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,235 It can be a little embarrassing to admit 73 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,248 you need help in the romance department. 74 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,416 Please, come in. 75 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,485 No, this was a mistake. 76 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:06,486 I understand. 77 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:09,182 Come in. 78 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,491 Trust me, you are comically incorrect. 79 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,186 I do not need a matchmaker. 80 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,894 So you're married? 81 00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:15,895 No. 82 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:16,896 Dating someone? 83 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,398 I date plenty. 84 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,900 In fact, I often need the proverbial stick 85 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,390 one uses to beat women off with. 86 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,392 I... 87 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,398 I believe my point is made. 88 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:30,777 Why don't you just take my card? 89 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,778 I don't need your card. 90 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,779 In case you change your mind. 91 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:33,768 I won't change my mind. 92 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:34,769 For a friend. I have no friends. 93 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,341 ... who are in need of your services. 94 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,477 You see, I am a bit of a local celebrity, 95 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,978 so I have no trouble getting dates. 96 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:44,357 Really? Yes. 97 00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:45,625 What's your name? 98 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,327 Dr. Frasier Crane. 99 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,695 Oh. 100 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,596 Sorry, doesn't ring any bells. 101 00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:54,467 Frasier Crane? 102 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,468 Why, yes it is. 103 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:57,971 Well, my God, what are you doing here? 104 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,473 Well, actually, I have an office one floor down. 105 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,976 Really? I'm on 1 8. 106 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,478 Oh, well why don't I ride up with you, 107 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,479 I could use the exercise. 108 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,470 Bye, bye. 109 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:10,850 It's so funny seeing you here. 110 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,853 It's funny for you , delightful for me. 111 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,355 It's always nice to meet a fan, 112 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,344 especially one so attractive. 113 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,348 You don't remember me? 114 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,862 Yes, of course I remember you. 115 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,365 It's you. 116 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,366 Hey, you. 117 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,869 I can't believe you don't remember. 118 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,371 We dated. 119 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:32,872 Three times. 120 00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:33,873 Jennifer. 121 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,875 Ellie. Ellie! 122 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:36,864 Oh, well, here's your floor. 123 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,378 Nice catching up with you. 124 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,369 Oh, brushing me off. That sounds familiar. 125 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,917 Oh, not that I'm surprised you forgot me. 126 00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,920 You spent every day talking about yourself, 127 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,390 and then, after we slept together... 128 00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:50,981 I'm so sorry. Sorry. 129 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,492 But you could've called me! 130 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,982 Sorry! Again, so sorry. 131 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,611 FRASIER: And so it seems 132 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:15,014 I have dated every woman in Seattle. 133 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,505 The well is dry. 134 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:20,019 The cupboard is bare. 135 00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:23,420 There are no more fish in the sea. 136 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,327 Meanwhile, my dad is engaged. 137 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,329 My brother is expecting his first child. 138 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,331 While I am left to spin aimlessly 139 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,561 on the dating hamster wheel. 140 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,772 You like your metaphors, don't you? 141 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:42,408 Well, don't worry, Frasier. 142 00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,977 Somewhere in Seattle there's a woman you haven't pissed off 143 00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,379 and I'm going to find her. 144 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,870 am. You seem awfully sure of yourself.I 145 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,504 I've successfully matched 146 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:51,951 hundreds of couples, 147 00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,953 so... 148 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:58,958 What kind of woman are you looking for? 149 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,828 And don't just say smart, sexyand sophisticated. 150 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,429 Why, don't you have any of those? 151 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:05,431 All right. 152 00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,500 Well, it's hard to say... 153 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,503 what I want. 154 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:13,639 It's been so long since I've really fallen for someone. 155 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,109 You know that feeling you get 156 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,974 after a first date, when you can't even sleep, 157 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,079 you just lie there in bed awake, 158 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:23,516 thinking about her? 159 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:26,386 That's what I want. 160 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,786 You're going to make me work for my money, aren't you? 161 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,754 Uh, by the way, 162 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,692 I do require a payment up-front. 163 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:34,093 Oh, of course. 164 00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,027 My fee is $1 0, 000. 165 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,434 That's awfully steep. 166 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,436 And those ten years of bad dates, 167 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,171 how much did they run you? 168 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,002 I'll write you a check. 169 00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,544 So I gave her the money 170 00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:52,845 and I filled out the questionnaire. 171 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,540 Mm. 172 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,549 You fudged a little bit on your answers, right? 173 00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:57,846 No, of course not. Why would I? 174 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,720 Because nobody's honest on those things. 175 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,455 There's a code people use. 176 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,491 Like "mature" means old. 177 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:08,561 "Athletic" means flat-chested. 178 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,062 And, uh, oh... 179 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:13,065 "not model thin" means circus fat. 180 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,567 Well, gosh. 181 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,570 She's already sent me out on a date this evening. 182 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,505 But I assure you, I am more interested 183 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,598 in personality than looks. 184 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:22,909 Did you see a photo at least? 185 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:23,898 Of course I saw a photo. 186 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,601 She's got a personality you can bounce a quarter off of. 187 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,049 So where you taking her? 188 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:30,981 Claret-- I intend to take 189 00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:32,485 all subsequent dates there as well. 190 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,487 That way I can compare them objectively, you see. 191 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:35,977 As the woman will be the only variable. 192 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:37,490 It's basic science. 193 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:38,591 Yeah. 194 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,183 That's been your dating problem-- 195 00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:41,557 not enough science. 196 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:44,497 Hey, you two. 197 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:46,988 Here, have a seat. There you are. 198 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,002 We can only chat for a moment. We're meeting our doula. 199 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,003 Oh, yes. 200 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:51,992 Your doula. 201 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,706 Anybody need anything? 202 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:54,774 I'm getting more coffee. 203 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:56,075 DAPHNE: No, thanks. 204 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,176 We brought fennel tea 205 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,679 and some healthy snacks to nibble on. 206 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,181 Oh, huh. Peanut butter and carrots. 207 00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:04,183 Looks like somebody has some pregnancy cravings. 208 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:05,172 Yes, I just can't help myself. 209 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,623 Oh, dear, Niles. Couvade Syndrome? 210 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,682 We just call it love. 211 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,695 Yes, well... I have a date. 212 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:18,698 I've signed up with a matchmaking service. 213 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:19,699 Wait, Frasier, a matchmaker? 214 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,701 I'm surprised you' d use a professional 215 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,168 for something as personal as your love life. 216 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,171 Well, I could say the same thing 217 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,672 about you and your doula. 218 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,174 Well, our professional comes highly recommended. 219 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,176 So does my professional. 220 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,677 Well, our professional is at the top of her field. 221 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,666 As is mine. 222 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,669 Well, our professional charges $200 an hour. 223 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,170 Mine charges $ 1 0, 000. 224 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,688 She sounds fantastic. 225 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,690 Congratulations, Frasier. 226 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,679 Thank you, Niles. Wish me luck! 227 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,682 Good luck. Wow. 228 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,684 Daphne and Niles? 229 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,198 Oh, you must be Harvest. 230 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,700 So nice to meet you. 231 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,190 Oh, this is our friend Roz. 232 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,703 Hi. 233 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,206 A resume detailing my 1 5 years of experience, 234 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,708 plus a syllabus for further reading. 235 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,279 Well, I am doula impressed. 236 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,847 HARVEST: Now, on page five, 237 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,543 you'll find details about my support staff. 238 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,552 There's a masseuse, a shaman, of course, 239 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,853 and a drummer. 240 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,844 He used to tour with the Doobie Brothers. 241 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,558 Very talented. 242 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,560 My, sounds expensive. 243 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,551 I can't wait to tell Frasier. 244 00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:23,863 And of course, I insist on 245 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,231 a drug-free birthing environment. 246 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,100 Whoa. Back up. No drugs? 247 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,590 Oh, I want Daphne to be awake 248 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:31,604 and connected to the moment. 249 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,873 A natural childbirth needn't be painful. 250 00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:37,206 It needn't be, but it be. 251 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,201 How painful? 252 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,214 Would you have a tooth pulled without Novocain? 253 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,716 No. 254 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:47,208 Well, a tooth is this big. 255 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:48,721 Oh, I'm sorry. 256 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,723 I thought you wanted to be emotionally present 257 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:52,625 for the birth of your baby, 258 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,024 but I see that you just want 259 00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:55,716 somebody to dope you up, 260 00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:58,030 strap you down and yank it out. 261 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,019 Oh, no, no. Wait. Don't go. 262 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:00,666 Yes, our friend 263 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,767 was just leaving. 264 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:02,735 All right. 265 00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:04,303 You're right. I'm sorry. 266 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,305 This is a private matter. 267 00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:08,296 You need to do what's right for you. 268 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,199 Ow! 269 00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:10,698 Times a million. 270 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:20,843 FRASIER: Here we are. 271 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,254 WOMAN: Thank you. 272 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:23,623 There's something wonderful 273 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,124 about first dates, isn't there? 274 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,626 Oh, thank you very much. 275 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:30,129 That tingle of anticipation as two perfect strangers 276 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,121 march toward endless vistas of possibility. 277 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,634 Well put, Frasier. 278 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,135 Oh, well thank you. 279 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,637 And what do you do? 280 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,639 I'm a science teacher. 281 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,628 Ah, serendipity. 282 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,675 I'm a science man myself. 283 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:44,973 I suppose that's why Charlotte got the two of us together. 284 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:46,667 Well then, what's your field? 285 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,681 Well, my field is biology, 286 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,683 but my specialty is creationism. 287 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,685 Oh, well, I find that... 288 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,320 Excuse me? 289 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,821 You know, they're only in first grade, 290 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,323 so they don't understand everything, 291 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,191 but Brother William, he's our leader, 292 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:01,819 he likes us to get them 293 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,163 started young before they get their minds warped 294 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,665 by all that fossil nonsense. 295 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,656 Well, you know, I-I realize that Darwin 296 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,658 has his detractors, but to call it nonsense seems a bit 297 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,672 cavalier, don't you think? 298 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,162 Oh, dear. You're one of those. 299 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,677 You think we're descended from apes? 300 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,178 Well, not recently, no. 301 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,180 Do I look like an ape to you? 302 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,683 Do I have hairy palms and a big hairy back? 303 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,685 Would you like a drink? 304 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,687 Oh, yeah. Bring it on. 305 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,190 But I got to warn you-- I'm a horny drunk. 306 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,192 Last Spring, in Cabo, 307 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,695 I wake up one morning under a beach umbrella, 308 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,686 stark naked, tequila bottle in one hand, 309 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,188 and some guy's tightie-whities on my head. 310 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,334 (chuckling) 311 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,403 Whoa, don't I know you from Cabo? 312 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:45,392 (laughs) 313 00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,395 Remind you of anything? 314 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:48,896 You wish, right? 315 00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,913 That's, uh, very amusing. 316 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:56,404 So what do you do for a living? 317 00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,406 Well, right now I'm back in school. 318 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,920 You see, I've loved animal s my whole life 319 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,422 so I figured, why not really go for it, you know? 320 00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:04,924 So I'm going to become 321 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,927 a taxidermist. 322 00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,929 Is something wrong? 323 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,430 No. 324 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,421 I was just, uh, admiring your ensemble. 325 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,924 Thanks. I made it myself. 326 00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:17,970 You know, 327 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,772 I have a lot of this fabric left. 328 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,741 I could make you a shirt with a matching hat. 329 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,042 Don't go to any trouble. 330 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:25,044 Would you like some wine? 331 00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,747 Nah, the cops took my fake I.D. 332 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,750 and my dad'll kill me if I get busted again. 333 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,742 So what are you, like, 50? 334 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,247 Something like that. 335 00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:46,398 Well, I'm off. 336 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,900 No, you can't. 337 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,835 Our doula's coming specifically to meet you and your father. 338 00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,837 She insists on knowing all the members 339 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,236 of the baby's energy circle. 340 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,408 Oh, what kind of a kook is she anyway? 341 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,144 Harvest is not a kook. 342 00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,513 She's assisted at the birth 343 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,515 of more than 600 babies 344 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,817 and two giant pandas. 345 00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,185 She better get here quickly. 346 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,186 I do have a date. 347 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,888 Another one? 348 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:10,456 You're doing fairly well by this matchmaker. 349 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,526 Oh, hardly. A monkey throwing darts at the Seattle phone book 350 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,528 would find me a better mate. 351 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:19,521 Hell, a dart-throwing monkey wouldbea better mate. 352 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:20,924 Why don't you fire her? 353 00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:22,935 Don't think I haven't considered it. 354 00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:24,926 If tonight's a bust, I'm goito demand my money back. 355 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:38,017 Niles... 356 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,919 have you gained weight? 357 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,011 Yes, but, you know, 358 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,015 you always put on a lot with your first baby. 359 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:45,891 The hardest part 360 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,459 is the mood swings. 361 00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:48,961 Jeez, Niles, 362 00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,963 don't you think you're taking this 363 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,965 sympathetic pregnancy thing too far? 364 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:56,969 I'm simply giving in to the primal cycle of life. 365 00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:59,338 I have no control over it. 366 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,241 In that case, get off my Chanel couch before your water breaks. 367 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,943 Oh, hello. 368 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,244 I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. 369 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:07,246 Harvest Finkleman. Delighted. 370 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:09,949 Oh. Well, I'm sorry I can't stay. 371 00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,885 Niles and Daphne you know, of course, and this is my dad, 372 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,887 Martin Crane. Ms. Finkleman-Delighted. 373 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,555 Nice to meet you, Martin. 374 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,357 Likewise. 375 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,359 So are you planning to participate 376 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,094 in your grandchild's birth? 377 00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,896 Oh, no. I'm kind of old school. 378 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,398 Clean the kid up, slap a bow on her head, 379 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,889 then call me in. 380 00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,393 Oh! Guess who had their baby. 381 00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:31,904 Brad and Cindy? 382 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,895 Oh, I'm so happy for them! 383 00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:38,978 He gets very emotional lately. 384 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,546 It was a beautiful experience. 385 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,948 I made a tape, if you'd like to see it. 386 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,109 I would like to not see it. 387 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:49,054 No, no! This would be good for us-- play it. 388 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,043 It was an 1 8-hour labor. 389 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,558 This should be about two hours into it. 390 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,059 I'm so excited. 391 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,161 Daphne, I can't wait until this is us. 392 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:59,130 (Cindy screaming on tape) 393 00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,100 Oh, look at Cindy glow. 394 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,268 CINDY: Mother of God! 395 00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,236 Just kill me! 396 00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,108 (Cindy screaming on tape) 397 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:11,975 She seems like she's in a little pain. 398 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,583 That's a boat load of fear. 399 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:23,022 CINDY: Stop that drum before I put your head through it! 400 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:26,091 She laughed at that afterwards. 401 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,060 I've seen enough. 402 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,561 Wait, wait. 403 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:32,064 You'll see how Cindy pushes through the pain. 404 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,432 I'm not pushing through anything. 405 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,335 I'm having my baby the way God intended-- 406 00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:39,031 in a hospital, numb from the waist down. 407 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,074 Now take your incense 408 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,065 and your woo-woo stick and get out. 409 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,478 And you, stop acting pregnant. 410 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,412 You're a man, for God sakes. 411 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,028 Charlotte, where's my date? 412 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:06,031 I am so sorry. She just called. She had to cancel. 413 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,032 That does it. 414 00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:08,021 No. We'll find another evening. 415 00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:09,335 No, Charlotte, we will not. 416 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,030 You have sent me on enough 417 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,038 miserable dates, thank you. 418 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:17,031 Before you fix me up with a doll-collecting war criminal 419 00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,335 or a hashish-smoking burger flipper, I want out. 420 00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,348 And I want my money back. 421 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,976 Frasier, this... 422 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,284 this is a process. 423 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,648 I have only sent you out on five dates. 424 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,526 Do you cure your patients in five sessions? 425 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,195 Well, no, but... 426 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,355 This client roster 427 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,698 is filled with fascinating women. 428 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:42,468 I just signed a new one this morning-- 429 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:45,537 botany professor, avid bicycle rider, very striking. 430 00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:46,538 But you know what? 431 00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,529 If you're going to be so impatient, 432 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,542 then we should just end this now. 433 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,177 I'll write you a check. 434 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,166 Well, wait. No, no, no. 435 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,581 I'm sure you'? I do much better on your own. 436 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:59,618 With $ 1 0, 000, you can download a lot of love. 437 00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:02,154 Well, let's not be too hasty. 438 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:07,182 That striking, biking botanist sounded like me. 439 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,123 - I don't know. - Please? 440 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,158 Don't beg. It's a turnoff. 441 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:13,832 All right. 442 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,701 Why don't I get us some drinks, 443 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,703 and then we can talk about our next move? 444 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,694 Great. 445 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:39,358 He's a big radio star. 446 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,360 Smart, really sweet. 447 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,055 So think about it. 448 00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:44,351 Here's my card. 449 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,065 You lied to me. 450 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,054 You have five clients. 451 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,368 There is no roster of eligible women! 452 00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,070 You looked in my client log? 453 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:55,074 t. Yes. I've seen your log, and I've dated every toad on i 454 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,842 Is this the guy? 455 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:57,831 No, no, no. Different guy. Call me. 456 00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:03,515 I think the police might be interested 457 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:04,504 in this little scam of yours. 458 00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:06,718 It is not a scam. 459 00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:09,788 I... I just didn't have time to put the other pictures in. 460 00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,791 And I will not work one second with someone who threatens me. 461 00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:14,226 I'll mail you a check. 462 00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,228 I'll save you the price of a stamp. 463 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,730 I'll see you at your office tomorrow. 464 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,221 Fine. I'd say come alone, but that's a given. 465 00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:27,127 Oh! 466 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:32,845 Oh, God! What a crappy, crappy day! 467 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,280 Charlotte, are you okay? 468 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,849 I can't give you a check. 469 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,852 I've already.. .. I've already spent the money 470 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,687 on rent and food and... 471 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,489 ...and these shoes. 472 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:46,481 These stupid, stupid shoes! 473 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,485 Come on, now. It's okay. 474 00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:53,187 . No, it's not. Nothing's okay 475 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,200 I lied to you. 476 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,503 I just started this business. 477 00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,505 But I'm really good at what I do. 478 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:03,208 I used to run the biggest matchmaking business in Chicago 479 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:06,211 before I lost it to my rotten ex-husband in the divorce. 480 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:09,214 Divorce? But you're wearing a wedding ring. 481 00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:12,206 It's camouflage. 482 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:17,222 It inspires confidence. 483 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:19,224 I mean, nobody wants a matchmaker 484 00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,527 whose life's a mess. 485 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,222 Like me! 486 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,465 I'm divorced. 487 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:29,168 My business is a joke. 488 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,470 I'm-I'm up t o my ass in debt. 489 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,972 I had to move in with my mother. 490 00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:37,543 I am 35 years old, and I am living with my mother. 491 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,534 How pathetic is that? 492 00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:45,551 Well, I... I've seen worse. 493 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,553 You mentioned something earlier 494 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,248 about having a drink. 495 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:51,290 Oh, believe me, I will. 496 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:54,560 If my mother hasn't finished the bottle. 497 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,827 I meant here. 498 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:58,330 No, I really can't. I've got to get home. 499 00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,332 I have paperwork. I have calls to make. 500 00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,333 It's my treat. 501 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,322 Double Scotch. 502 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:10,330 So then I spent five soul-sucking years in advertising 503 00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:12,742 dreaming up slogans for Crunchios. 504 00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,581 "Crunchios are a munchy with your lunchy or your brunchy" 505 00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:16,715 That was you? 506 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,283 Yeah. 507 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,774 I felt better about myself when I was pushing cigarettes. 508 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,651 Then, one day, I fixed up my boss 509 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,357 with my friend, and they ended up getting married. 510 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:28,292 And thus a career was born. 511 00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:31,463 What better way to make a living than by helping people be happy? 512 00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:34,499 So does your old boss toast you every year 513 00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:37,236 when he celebrates his anniversary? 514 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:42,341 . Actually, he's a she now, and my friend's kind of bitter 515 00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:44,002 But I got 516 00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,912 the hang of it after that. 517 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:51,008 Well, until I lost the business and came here 518 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:54,853 and moved in with my crazy-ass mother. 519 00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:56,320 For what it's worth, 520 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,391 it will get easier living with her. 521 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,959 Is that your professional opinion? 522 00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,462 Actually, it's a personal one. 523 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,364 My dad lives with me. 524 00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,431 No. 525 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,899 Mm. 1 1 years. 526 00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:09,334 Yeah. Yikes. 527 00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,437 It does take a while to adjust to each other 528 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,373 before you're perfectly in sync. 529 00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:15,307 How long did that take? 530 00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:17,643 I'll let you know. 531 00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,845 Truth be told, 532 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,381 I'm going to miss him when he moves out. 533 00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:25,417 I was missing my mother when I was in Chicago. 534 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,817 Now I just wish she was missing. 535 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:32,391 I didn't realize it was so late. 536 00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,693 Frank's waiting for me at home. 537 00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:36,395 Frank? 538 00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:38,397 My boyfriend. 539 00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,631 Oh. Serious? 540 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,429 Yes, but he has a fun-loving side, too. 541 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,703 No, I meant the relationship. 542 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:47,072 Do you lie awake nights thinking about him? 543 00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:50,041 A little. 544 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:53,412 It's still new, but I have my fingers crossed. 545 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,447 Well, good luck with it. 546 00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:56,748 Thank you. 547 00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:57,737 And, if you'll let me, 548 00:21:58,450 --> 00:21:59,751 I'm going to find someone fantastic 549 00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:01,753 for you, too, Frasier, because you deserve it. 550 00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:05,457 And because you have my $ 1 0, 000. 551 00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:07,755 Are you going to mention that every time you see me? 552 00:22:27,879 --> 00:22:31,781 Damn.