1 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,992 Calm down, dear. Listen. 2 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:16,155 Take a left, then the second right, then a left again. 3 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,597 - OK. Goodbye, sweetheart. - Is Maris lost again? 4 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,956 She wandered into the kitchen by mistake. 5 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,112 I had to talk her back to the living room. 6 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,556 Any chance of getting a table? 7 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,031 No. They got their check five minutes ago, 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,157 but they've been sitting there ever since. 9 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,995 - I shoot them dirty looks, all in vain. - Show me the look. 10 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,033 They're there for a while. 11 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,191 - Shall we order? - Why not? 12 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,113 - What are your coffees today? - Zimbabwe and Kenya. 13 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,433 - Ooh, I'll have a Zimbabwe latte. - I'll have a Kenya cappuccino. 14 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,432 So what's new? 15 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,558 The gardener finally won the battle of the wills. 16 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:03,476 He got Maris to dig up her camellias so he could put in that Zen garden. 17 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,677 - How did it turn out? - It's beautiful. 18 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,797 The perfect place for meditation. 19 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,874 Yesterday I found Maris sitting in the lotus position. 20 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,032 Good for her. It's bringing out her spiritual side. 21 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,635 She was reading Danielle Steele 22 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,794 and making a nail appointment on her phone. 23 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,078 Do you realise that it's a year since I moved from Boston? 24 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:29,757 Really? A year? It seems like yesterday Dad moved in with you. 25 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,629 People can have opposite impressions of the same event. 26 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,509 Look at them. Sitting there like they own that table. 27 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,877 - Let's both give them the look. - It's worth a try. 28 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,312 - It worked! - Niles, I'll never doubt you again! 29 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,791 Try the look on that table. I'm going to the men's room. 30 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,717 - Maddening! - What? 31 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:06,716 The moisturiser dispenser in the gents. The cream is too oily, so I re-washed. 32 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,679 And then the hand dryer breaks down. 33 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,753 How do you get through the day? 34 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:16,117 - Here you go, Zimbabwe and Kenya. - Thank you. 35 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,476 - Did I say decaf? - No. 36 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,995 Oh, I'm sorry. If I drink the regular stuff, 37 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,676 it'll keep me tossing and turning through my brother's conversation. 38 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,116 'No problem.' 'Thank you.' 39 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,920 Nobody's leaving. Let's take a table outside. 40 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,515 Why not? I'm feeling al fresco. 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,116 Oh, how does Mrs Fresco feel about that? 42 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,830 Must be a riot on camping trips. 43 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,353 - Would you like a...? - No. 44 00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:00,437 Now that chapter two of your life is in full swing, can I ask you something? 45 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,274 - Sure. - Are you happy? 46 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,553 - Did you hear the question? - Yes, I'm thinking. 47 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,394 - It's a complex question. - No, it's not. 48 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,756 - It is. - Either you're happy or not. 49 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:17,754 - Are you? - No, but we're not talking about me. 50 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:23,233 Let's not gloss over that. You have just told me you're not happy. Why? 51 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,995 I was watching PBS the other night- a documentary 52 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,470 on the Great Depression. Vintage Steinbeck. 53 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,109 Poor people escaping the Dust Bowl, 54 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:39,549 their meagre possessions on rickety, old trucks heading to their "salvation". 55 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:44,112 You see this scruffy little boy being handed a new pair of shoes. 56 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:48,672 Frasier, if you could have seen the look on that boy's face. 57 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,595 It was a look of pure and utter happiness. 58 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,269 I have never experienced that kind of happiness in my life. 59 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,320 Not even when I bought these $400 Bruno Maglis. 60 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,597 - Do you like them? - Very nice. 61 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,559 - What about the tassels? - I'm not a tassel guy. 62 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,280 Neither am I. Nevertheless, there they are. 63 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,354 I have no reason to be unhappy. I have my health. 64 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,716 I have a wonderful home, a beautiful wife. 65 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,599 - Did your eyebrow just move? - No. 66 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,677 I have my practice. 67 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,719 But I've lost the ideals that led me to psychiatry in the first place. 68 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:33,351 Who am I talking to? Psychiatry's answer to the drive-through window. 69 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,674 Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just in it for the money. 70 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:43,549 Oh, I wouldn't say that's true. If it were... Oh. 71 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,314 - What were you going to say? - I'd rather not. 72 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,474 There's no need to. I know what you've wanted to ask me for years: 73 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,954 Did I marry Maris for the money? 74 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,750 I resent that! I did not marry Maris for the money. 75 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:03,153 - It was just a delightful bonus. - So you really do love her? 76 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,790 Of course I love her! But it's a different kind of love. 77 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,110 You mean, it's not human? 78 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,997 No. I mean, it doesn't burn with the passion of a Tristan and Isolde. 79 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,279 It's more comfortable, more familiar. Maris and I are old friends. 80 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,556 We can spend an afternoon together, 81 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:27,271 me at my jigsaw puzzle, she at her Autoharp, 82 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:31,115 not a word spoken between us, and be perfectly content. 83 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,990 I'm told it was a lot like that near the end in the Hitler household. 84 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,794 Let's shift the subject back to where it belongs. 85 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,271 I asked you whether you were happy. Just answer. 86 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,319 - Well... - Hey, guys. 87 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,869 - Hi, Roz. - What are you doing here? 88 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,111 I always wanted to fly a jet, 89 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:56,353 and today they're offering a special on jet-flying lessons. 90 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,152 I came here to get coffee. 91 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,676 Thanks for stopping by. I'd have been mad if you didn't. 92 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,911 I'm also meeting someone here. 93 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,832 Oh, let me guess. A man? 94 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,752 - Yes. - Yes. 95 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:15,471 The new guy from the news department caught me checking him out. 96 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:19,759 - He was bent over the water fountain. - Love at first sight. 97 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,231 He said, "Let's get some coffee and get acquainted." 98 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,439 I've got a strange feeling that this guy might be the one. 99 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:33,357 You say that about every guy you meet. Let's just see if this one calls back. 100 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,036 Yeah, I guess. You know, I don't think he's here yet. 101 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,953 - I'll go snag a table. - Good luck. 102 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,590 - Bye, Roz. - Yeah. 103 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,355 - I don't think she likes me. - It isn't a question of liking or not liking. 104 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,354 - She despises you. - Really? 105 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,990 I warrant such strong emotions? I barely acknowledge her existence. 106 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,720 You may be on to something there, Sherlock. 107 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,556 She is comely in a back-alley sort of way. 108 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,677 She's very attractive. 109 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,356 - Did you ever think about you two...? - Roz and me? Oh, no. 110 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,750 Oh, come on! Never fantasised 111 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,309 about stealing away to a motel with her? 112 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,917 I'm a man with normal urges, and she has a silk blouse 113 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,152 that opens a bit when she leans over the cart rack, but... 114 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,995 Oh, mixing work with romance... Is it ever worth it? 115 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,233 Don't ask me. You're the one that looked down her blouse. 116 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,631 - Decaf Zimbabwe latte. - Is that non-fat milk? 117 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,791 - No. - I hate to be a bother. 118 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,554 It's just that I'm watching my fat intake. 119 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,632 Is that rain? 120 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,395 - No, God is crying. - Can't I ask a simple question? 121 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,949 Do you ask any other kind? 122 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,678 Hey, how the hell did she get a table? 123 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,956 Oh, Frasier, Frasier! There! 124 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,117 Oh! 125 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,749 - Frasier! - Oh, Niles, Niles! 126 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,070 Oh, good block! 127 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,436 Sorry! 128 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,557 Good work there. 129 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,075 I just wanted it a little more than he did. 130 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,030 Oh, boy, it's really coming down. 131 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,272 What? 132 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,556 Something happened the other morning. 133 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,594 I asked Dad to pass me a bran muffin. You know what he said? 134 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,276 - He said, "What's the magic word?" - You're kidding! 135 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,637 He didn't find it amusing when I said "rest home". 136 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,719 Oh, oh, oh! Look, look! That must be Roz's coffee companion. 137 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,394 Wow, he's really handsome, isn't he? 138 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,870 "Wow"? Did you say "wow"? 139 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,997 Good Lord, I did. 140 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:03,710 I don't think I've ever said "wow" describing another man before. 141 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,871 Does that mean something? 142 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,156 It means you're a gay man. 143 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,877 Your life with Maris is a charade. Come out of the closet. 144 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,431 You want to tell Dad or shall I? 145 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:22,073 This was stupid! This whole idea was stupid! Admit it. 146 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,516 No! You needed exercise. 147 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,718 It was stupid to come out without your bumbershoot. 148 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,190 It's an umbrella! Speak English! 149 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,317 Sorry, no dogs allowed. 150 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,393 - What? - Oh, I'm sorry. 151 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,392 It's OK. 152 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:44,269 - Oh, Niles? - Hello, Dad. 153 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,638 - What are you two doing here? - I felt we needed some exercise. 154 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,270 I had to pick up some beans anyway, so we walked. 155 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,875 Well, one of us was dragged by his collar. 156 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,318 I told you I didn't want to come. Look at me, I'll die of pneumonia. 157 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,199 You'll outlive us. The cranky ones always do. 158 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,718 Let's get you something hot to drink. You want a cappuccino or...? 159 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,396 - Can I help you? - Coffee, black, nothing fancy in it. 160 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,915 We have two special coffees today... 161 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,310 I'll surprise you. 162 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,270 Oh, joy. There's nothing like the smell of a wet dog 163 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,397 to work up the appetite for supper. 164 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,474 - We're soaked to the skin! - You're in a fine mood today! 165 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,314 - You left a mess in the kitchen. - I had toast! 166 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,313 Yeah, and you buttered it on the counter. 167 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,871 I know because you left crumbs and toast sweat there! 168 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,680 - Toast sweat? - Yes, yes. 169 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:45,118 When you put hot toast on any surface, it leaves drops of dew. 170 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,238 Haven't you heard Dad's lecture on the evils of toast sweat? 171 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,233 It's the scourge of our times! 172 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,512 One coffee, black. 173 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,035 And a decaf, non-fat Zimbabwe latte. 174 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,635 Oh, dear, is that cinnamon on that foam? 175 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,838 As long as we're picking each other's scabs here, 176 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,879 I found Eddie's chew toy in my sweater cubby. 177 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,317 Hair all over my favourite pullover! He sleeps in there! 178 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,154 Because you keep sweaters in a "cubby". 179 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:22,109 Oh! Well, my bedroom is off-limits to this flea bag. 180 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,874 - He's not a flea bag! - How about those Mariners? 181 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,350 Shut up, Niles! 182 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,478 If my hip's good enough to get me here, 183 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,598 maybe it's time I found a place of my own! 184 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,718 - Where will you go? - Don't worry. I'll find a place. 185 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,350 I've got a little money saved up. I never wanted to move in with you. 186 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,990 "I don't want to be a burden to anybody!" 187 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,357 That's Frasier's smartass way of telling me he's heard this. 188 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:51,639 You won't have to hear it again. Tell Daphne to catch up with us. 189 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:56,078 We go through this melodrama every week! Sit down! 190 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,232 - No. How much for the coffee? - $1.50. 191 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,836 For coffee? What kind of world are we living in? 192 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,111 You were in that bathroom forever. 193 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,831 I tried that damn hand cream. I'm so oily, I couldn't grip the doorknob. 194 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:22,317 When some guy came in, I said, "Am I glad to see you!" 195 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,711 I can't even begin to describe the look he gave me. 196 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,237 There it is. 197 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,913 So, I'm told you and your dad are at it again. 198 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,037 What's new? 199 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,194 Lately, he's had a face as long as a wet weekend. 200 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,318 Yesterday, when I insisted he do his stretching exercises, 201 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,632 he told me to stick me feet behind me head and spin like a top. 202 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,031 The best thing to do is to ignore him when he's like that. 203 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,318 Isn't that right, Niles? Niles? 204 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,276 I'm sorry. For some reason, I'm feeling a little dizzy. 205 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,275 - I'll go after him. - Oh, here. 206 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,113 - Take my bumbershoot. - That's nice. 207 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,749 At least someone appreciates my mother tongue. 208 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,877 I've always had an ear for your tongue. 209 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,792 Oh, Niles! 210 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,991 What did I say? 211 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,876 - Want another coffee? - Not until I've had my first one, thanks. 212 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,311 Why is it always so difficult between me and Dad? 213 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,630 Look at it from Dad's point of view. 214 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,156 As a policeman, he had authority. That's been taken away. 215 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:48,996 Criticising the world, he controls his shrinking sphere of influence. 216 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,118 I do empathise with him. It's just... 217 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,592 I can't help wishing to kick that cane out from under him sometimes 218 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,320 and that he would land on Eddie. 219 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,909 - It's hard. I know you're trying. - I am. 220 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,515 Sometimes, I see the fruits of my labour. 221 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,753 The other night, Dad was watching TV. I'd fallen asleep on the couch. 222 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,912 Suddenly I stirred. I felt something on my head. 223 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,469 Dad was standing there, stroking my hair. 224 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,392 Dad? 225 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,112 Did he say anything? 226 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:26,399 Yeah, he said, "Don't you think it's time for a haircut? You look like Bozo." 227 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,759 I know he was covering. What do you think? 228 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,436 - Wouldn't hurt to get a trim. - No... 229 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,309 - Do you think he was covering? - Of course. You know Dad. 230 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,792 Tough as nails on the outside, but on the inside, one giant spike. 231 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,440 - Grime. - Excuse me. What about mine'? 232 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,479 We have a team of specialists working on it. 233 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,519 Let's change the subject from Dad and talk about something else. 234 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:04,151 - Yes, about something light and frothy. - I agree. 235 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,436 Are you in love with Daphne? 236 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,837 That's a little frothier than I had in mind. 237 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:19,070 That is preposterous! I refuse to dignify that question with an answer. 238 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,157 I don't know. There, I said it! Are you happy? 239 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,836 Why did you have to hire Venus herself? 240 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,995 Why not a beefy, Eastern-European scrubwoman who reeked of ammonia? 241 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,595 I asked, but it was an Olympic year. The agency was fresh out. 242 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,438 Frasier, I can't get her out of my mind. 243 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:55,037 Daphne stirs a passion in me I've never known before. 244 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,319 - You're not considering leaving Maris? - No. 245 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,915 I suppose the situation you're in is 246 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,074 that you'd like to stay with Maris but have an affair with Daphne. 247 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,073 - Yes. Can I do that? - No, you can't. 248 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:17,596 I thought that I couldn't, but you got my hopes up there for a minute. 249 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,310 Oh, it's easy for you. You're free, you're happy. 250 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,994 You haven't answered that question yet. 251 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,994 - I haven't? - No, you haven't. Are you happy? 252 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,472 Well, I guess the best way I could think of saying it is... 253 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,156 - This sucks. - What's the matter? 254 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,438 You're having coffee with a man and think he might 255 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:44,589 lead you to something like, oh, I don't know, a life? 256 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:49,960 Suddenly, the trapdoor opens and you're right back in Roz's world. 257 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,634 - How did it go so wrong so quickly? - Simple. 258 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,916 He just wanted to convert me. 259 00:16:55,080 --> 00:17:00,598 I have nothing against religious people. I'm ecumenical. 260 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,229 I embrace men of all faiths. 261 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,919 If only it stopped there. 262 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,555 He pretended it was a date. Isn't there a commandment against that? 263 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,793 No, they didn't go into dating until the New Testament. 264 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,554 Roz, I'm sorry. Why don't you join us? 265 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,396 No, thank you. There's a cute new handyman in my building. 266 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:31,111 I'll just go home, slip into a negligee and rip out my faucet. 267 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,673 You think she's kidding, don't you? 268 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,080 I think about Roz's life, and it makes me wonder about my own. 269 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,239 I haven't been exactly burning up the social scene lately. 270 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,472 - You'll find somebody. - But what if I don't? 271 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,758 What if I end up old and alone? 272 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:57,915 I might have to buy a funny little dog and move in with Frederick. 273 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,515 I don't have to worry about that for a while. 274 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,399 No. Frederick should worry about that. 275 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,998 You might try answering my original question: Are you happy? 276 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,356 I guess I'd have to say... 277 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,909 - Hello, boys. - Oh, for Pete's sake. 278 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:19,119 - Dad, what are you doing back here? - I don't know, I... 279 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:24,832 I've been acting like a jerk lately, and taking it out on you and Daphne. 280 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,560 All that stuff I said earlier, forget about it. 281 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,350 - I already have. - Come on, Eddie. 282 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:36,515 Dad, listen, has something been bothering you the last few days? 283 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,876 - No, no. - Come on. 284 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,077 - Nothing. - Is something bothering you? 285 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,675 - Just tell us. - Just say it. 286 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,717 OK. 287 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,679 Last Sunday was my birthday. 288 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:57,471 Of course it was. Frasier and I planned a big surprise party, 289 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,439 but on your birthday it wouldn't have been a surprise. 290 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,831 Thus we waited a week. So, surprise! 291 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,035 Oh, if you could see the look on your face. 292 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:14,034 Just give it up, Niles. Dad, I'm sorry. 293 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,555 - Oh, no. - Come and have a seat. 294 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,678 You know, I don't know why I let it bother me. 295 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:24,516 All those years on the force, I missed enough of your birthdays. 296 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:30,676 You know what? We can still celebrate. We'll take you out to dinner tonight. 297 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,071 - You don't need to do that. - Absolutely. You name the place. 298 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,992 OK. 299 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,916 - How about Hoppy's Old Heidelberg? - Oh, great! Great! 300 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,720 They were voted best bratwurst in town. 301 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,837 Ach du lieber! 302 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,239 I've been on Third Street looking for you. 303 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,439 I was on Fourth Street. Eddie had smelled everything on Third. 304 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,673 - How did you know I was here? - One of me psychic flashes. 305 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,231 Bang! There you were walking into Café Nervosa. 306 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,597 You were apologising for the way you've treated me this week. 307 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,832 I'm sorry about that. Just forget about it, all right? 308 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,789 And something about a raise... 309 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,959 - You're winging it now. - Am I that transparent? 310 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,475 No, I'm psychic. 311 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:24,396 The boys are taking us out to Hoppy's Old Heidelberg for dinner. 312 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,949 Oh, great. German food! 313 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:32,240 We whip the Jerries twice this century, and they still have the last laugh. 314 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,152 Dad, sorry, I can't give you a ride. 315 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,435 - I'll give him a lift. - Ah. 316 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,836 I've enjoyed getting together with you for coffee. 317 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,198 - What do you talk about all the time? - Sports, chicks, monster truck rallies. 318 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,715 OK, don't tell me. 319 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:56,519 Zimbabwe, decaf, non-fat milk, no cinnamon in sight. Now... 320 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,398 Are you happy'? 321 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,590 You know, in the greater scheme of things, yes, I'd say I am. 322 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:21,273 ♪ Baby, I hear the blues a-calling ♪ ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 323 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,869 ♪ Quite stylish ♪ 324 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:29,718 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ ♪ Well, maybe... but I got you pegged! ♪ 325 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,595 ♪ But I don't know what to do with those ♪ ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 326 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,870 ♪ They're calling again ♪ 327 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,759 See you next year! We love you!