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00:00:01,483 --> 00:00:03,483
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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Oh, that's Val.
You know,
4
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it's her first time
to the mansion
and she's my best
friend,
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so I just want
her
to drop dead.
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How thoughtful.
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Allow me. You pose.
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Okay.
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I'm dropping dead.
10
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:28,300
Mission accomplished.
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May I take
your coat?
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Do I get a stub?
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00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,366
No, and you don't have
to tip him, either.
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Oy, she's got
no class.
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Come on, Val,
move your ass.
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Oy, this place
is like the Taj
Mahal.
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00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:45,383
Only with more bathrooms.
18
00:00:45,416 --> 00:00:47,100
You never have to wait.
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00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:49,330
How come I'm still stuck
in Flushing,
20
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and you're living like Jackie O?
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Jackie O.'s two doors down.
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Jackie O.'s your neighbor?
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Uh-huh,
and you know,
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she's very concerned
about John-John.
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You heard he quit
the D.A. job, huh?
26
00:01:01,316 --> 00:01:02,383
Really?
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Yeah, and now he ran off
to California
28
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with that blond fish.
29
00:01:07,266 --> 00:01:08,350
Oh, God.
30
00:01:08,383 --> 00:01:10,283
Oh, go have kids.
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Honey, it's all
in how you raise them.
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With mine,
I've got no complaints.
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You've been their nanny
for two weeks.
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And I've worked wonders
with them.
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00:01:18,383 --> 00:01:20,416
Shut up, Brighton!
You shut up!
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00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:23,150
You're giving me
a nervous breakdown.
37
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,316
You see?
38
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,400
Before me,
they never communicated.
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00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,250
You know,
you're going to get pimples too,
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00:01:28,283 --> 00:01:29,383
someday,
if you ever grow up.
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00:01:29,416 --> 00:01:31,116
Oh, that's a pimple?
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00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:32,433
I thought it was
a small planet.
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Leave your sister alone.
I can't.
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The gravitational force
is sucking me in.
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[AS SCOTTY FROMSTAR TREK]
I'm giving it all she's got,
Captain.
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I cannot break away.
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You're so
pathetic,
Brighton.
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We both hate you.
49
00:01:45,316 --> 00:01:48,100
Good, then my work here
is done.
50
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:50,660
Brighton, what's your problem?
51
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,250
I guess I'm just
bad to the bone.
52
00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:53,316
Oh, honey,
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00:01:53,350 --> 00:01:56,266
you have no idea
what bad is.
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00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,250
Now, the boys Val and I
went to school with,
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they were bad, huh?
Oh, the worst.
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Oh, yeah, and now
they're all taken.
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Do you remember Lenny?
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00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:06,433
Sure. Lenny Brown,
baddest man in the whole damn--
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00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:08,316
Oh, no, that was Leroy...
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00:02:10,283 --> 00:02:12,366
But Lenny was bad.
And tough.
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00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,433
The kid had a smoker's cough
in the fourth grade.
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00:02:15,466 --> 00:02:17,500
Really?
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00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:19,416
He could blow smoke rings
out of his nose,
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either nostril.
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Remember when
he would light a
match
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off his zipper?
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00:02:24,383 --> 00:02:26,383
Honey, I'm still dreaming
about that one.
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00:02:27,416 --> 00:02:29,500
So he was cool, huh?
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00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:30,316
Oh, he was a god.
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00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,200
The James Dean
of Flushing.
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00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:34,000
I wonder what
ever happened to him?
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00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:36,183
I hear he's a big shot
at R.J. Reynolds.
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I should've nabbed him
right out of reform school.
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♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
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♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
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♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
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♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
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♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
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♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
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♪♪ She was there to sell
makeup ♪♪
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♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
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00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,330
♪♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪♪
85
00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:08,000
♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
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00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:10,266
♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
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♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
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♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
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♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
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00:03:17,466 --> 00:03:19,316
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
♪♪ She's the lady in red
♪♪
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♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
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♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪♪♪
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If this facial doesn't work,
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I think
I'm going to kill myself.
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Maggie, would you relax?
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It's just a little zit.
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00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:39,400
Yeah, but--
Shut up, Brighton.
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I dread puberty.
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I have combination skin.
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Here's where having me
for a nanny comes in handy.
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You kids know
that I'm a graduate
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of the Ultissima
Beauty Institute,
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00:03:51,283 --> 00:03:53,316
four times Dean's list?
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00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,450
And yet, she's
so accessible.
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What's that?
108
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,116
Orange rinds.
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00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:02,366
You know, at Elizabeth Arden,
they'll charge you $200
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00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,160
and call it aromatherapy.
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Trust me.
You'll be gorgeous.
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I see an improvement
already.
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What's this?
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Some stupid thing
at my stupid
school.
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Oh, a carnival!
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Oh, me and Val
used to throw these
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00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,166
for Jerry's kids.
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00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,316
Who's Jerry?
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00:04:20,350 --> 00:04:21,466
Jerry Lewis.
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He used to be hysterical.
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00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:25,233
Now he's hysterical
in France.
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Yeah, right.
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00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:29,450
Like we're going to go
to some dumb carnival.
124
00:04:29,483 --> 00:04:31,433
Why? It says right here,
"Fun for the whole family."
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00:04:31,466 --> 00:04:33,466
Wouldn't we actually
need
to be a family first?
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00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,160
Dad's too busy.
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00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,366
He doesn't have
time
to spend with us.
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Maybe Daddy's seeing
other children.
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Let's not be paranoid.
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I'm not paranoid.
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Who said I was?
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Help, Niles.
We need drinks,
and keep them coming.
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I take it, sir,
the composer meetings
aren't going well.
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00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:58,400
Why isn't there
any new talent in this town?
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00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,660
The man in my office
is positively ancient.
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He's not composing,
he's decomposing.
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I've got something
that'll cheer you up.
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00:05:06,366 --> 00:05:08,416
There's a carnival at
Brighton's
school this Saturday.
139
00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,183
Oh, "food,
rides,
games."
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Sounds splendid.
141
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,300
By all means,
take the
children.
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00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,150
Have a wonderful time.
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00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:17,183
Well, I kind of thought
that the whole family would go.
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00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,416
That would include
the father.
145
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
146
00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:21,233
I'm seeing composers
all weekend.
147
00:05:21,266 --> 00:05:23,466
Oh, well,
that's understandable.
148
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,216
Why do I feel
a "but" coming
on?
149
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,416
No buts,
150
00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:31,660
however, a carnival
would be a good way
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00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:33,283
for you to spend some time
with your kids,
152
00:05:33,316 --> 00:05:36,266
and time is so fleeting
at this age.
153
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,450
While I appreciate
the skill and
subtlety
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00:05:40,483 --> 00:05:42,830
of your guilt mongering,
155
00:05:42,116 --> 00:05:43,483
I am opening a
musical
in eight weeks.
156
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,116
So?
I have no music.
157
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,300
Oh.
158
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:48,333
Otherwise, I'd love to go.
"I'd love to go."
159
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:50,366
Brighton,
don't be so
smart,
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00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,200
Tracy, dear,
take smaller
bites,
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00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:55,500
and Maggie, do try to be
a bit more outgoing.
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00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:57,830
Well, carry on.
163
00:05:57,116 --> 00:05:59,416
Well, he's got my vote
for father of the year.
164
00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:01,830
Now, now,
165
00:06:01,116 --> 00:06:03,233
he would if he could,
but he can't.
166
00:06:03,266 --> 00:06:06,830
I mean, the man has to
make a living, don't he?
167
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:09,200
Well, how else can we afford
the lifestyle
168
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:11,133
to which I've become accustomed?
169
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,300
So I flunked facials.
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00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,283
We'll color it in
and call it a mole.
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00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,250
There. You look just like
Cindy Crawford.
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00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,433
I look like
John-Boy Walton.
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00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,300
America loved him.
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00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:35,100
Hey, Mags.
175
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,333
Wow, you look really beautiful.
176
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:39,350
And?
177
00:06:39,383 --> 00:06:42,133
And nothing.
You look really good.
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00:06:42,483 --> 00:06:44,316
Shut up, Brighton.
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00:06:46,266 --> 00:06:48,133
Why are you
being so nice
to your sister?
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00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:49,283
Who'd you kill?
181
00:06:49,316 --> 00:06:51,283
Why does everyone
assume the worst of me?
182
00:06:51,316 --> 00:06:53,300
It saves time.
183
00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:57,330
You know,
we did handwriting analysis
184
00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:58,100
in school today.
185
00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:00,660
I found out I'm very vulnerable.
186
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,483
Oh, isn't that fascinating?
187
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,000
Gee, I don't suppose
you'd want to analyze
188
00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:06,450
my handwriting?
189
00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:08,300
Well, sure.
190
00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:09,450
I might happen
to have a piece
191
00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:12,100
of old, unimportant
scrap paper somewhere.
192
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:13,283
Let's see.
193
00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:14,466
Ah!
194
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,330
Why don't you sign
your name right
here?
195
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:18,216
Okay.
196
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,330
Sucker!
197
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,830
What just happened here?
198
00:07:23,116 --> 00:07:26,433
Honey, I am so far ahead of you,
we're in different time zones.
199
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,160
Ooh, a note from
the headmaster.
200
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,416
You're kidding?
201
00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:35,200
Brighton
Milhouse
Sheffield!
202
00:07:35,233 --> 00:07:37,500
You were caught smoking?
203
00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:38,250
I was holding it
for a friend.
204
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,366
Oh, please, Brighton.
205
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,450
Smoking?
206
00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:43,166
That's disgusting.
207
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,333
It takes the idiots
that start that filthy habit
208
00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:47,116
years to quit.
209
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:49,166
I still haven't knocked off
all the weight.
210
00:07:49,466 --> 00:07:51,150
Where are you going?
211
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:53,316
Where do you think?
To tell your father.
212
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,330
You heard.
The man's busy.
213
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:57,216
Not too busy
to hear this.
214
00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,483
But he'll ship me off
to military school.
215
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,660
Can our country
really afford that?
216
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,450
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
217
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,233
Brighton, smoking.
218
00:08:06,266 --> 00:08:09,316
Where would you ever even get
an idea like that?
219
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:11,266
From you...
220
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:14,166
Come to think of it.
221
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,283
Me?
222
00:08:18,316 --> 00:08:20,660
Bad, bad Lenny Brown?
223
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,350
What?
224
00:08:21,383 --> 00:08:22,450
Oh.
225
00:08:22,483 --> 00:08:24,400
Oy.
226
00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:26,416
So maybe we should
just keep this
227
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:28,350
our little secret.
228
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:29,450
Wait a minute.
229
00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,483
Are you trying
to blackmail
me?
230
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,133
Let's just say
if I'm going down,
231
00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:35,433
you're going down with me.
232
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,150
Who are you,
Edward G. Robinson?
233
00:08:39,183 --> 00:08:41,500
You think I'm
going
to be intimidated
234
00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:43,333
by somebody that can walk
under a coffee table?
235
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,350
He's going to fire me.
I'd fire me.
236
00:08:48,383 --> 00:08:50,660
Just when I figured out
237
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,500
the bidet
is not a water fountain.
238
00:08:54,216 --> 00:08:55,466
Yech!
What am I doing?
239
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,116
I quit.
240
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,160
I've got to learn to
deal with my problems
241
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,433
without a crutch.
242
00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:02,250
What's to eat?
243
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,183
What was I thinking,
244
00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:09,150
telling a story like that
to a 10-year-old kid?
245
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:10,433
On the other hand,
246
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,333
if I told him to jump
off the Empire State Building--
247
00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:15,660
Hello.
That was my mother's voice
248
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:16,383
that just crossed
the Queensborough Bridge
249
00:09:16,416 --> 00:09:18,250
and flew out my mouth.
250
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:23,250
But with such dulcet tones.
251
00:09:23,283 --> 00:09:27,500
Oh, boy,
this is so typical of kids.
252
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,266
You try and you try,
and what do you get?
253
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,133
A slap in the face.
254
00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:33,333
Oy! My mother again.
255
00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:36,150
Niles, call
an exorcist.
256
00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:37,466
The previous nannies signed
257
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,216
all of Master Brighton's
discipline reports themselves.
258
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,200
You're kidding?
The nanny can do that?
259
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,500
Of course.
260
00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:46,316
In fact, Nanny Six retired
with carpal tunnel syndrome.
261
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,250
You know, Brighton wanted me
to sign that note,
262
00:09:50,283 --> 00:09:51,416
but at the time,
263
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,350
he was just looking
to save his butt.
264
00:09:53,383 --> 00:09:55,283
Of course, now that I'm looking
to save mine,
265
00:09:55,316 --> 00:09:56,316
it's not such a bad idea.
266
00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:58,000
No.
267
00:09:58,330 --> 00:10:00,166
I've got to tell Mr. Sheffield
what I did.
268
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,500
If I don't,
the evil eye'll get me.
269
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:04,383
I'll be hit by a bus for sure.
270
00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,250
The evil eye?
271
00:10:06,283 --> 00:10:07,383
Your mother again?
272
00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:09,166
No. Grandma Yetta.
273
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,266
You know, Miss Fine,
274
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,500
it's always a pleasure
spending time
275
00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:14,133
with you and your family.
276
00:10:15,466 --> 00:10:17,350
The kind of music
that I hear for this
show
277
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,216
is kind of a, you
know,
Bacharach-David,
278
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,116
kind of a
Promises,
Promises
279
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:23,160
♪♪ Ya da da
Ya da da da ♪♪
280
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,166
♪♪ Ya da da
Ya da da da da
♪♪
281
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,416
Bounce, bounce.
Lots of bounce.
I'm not sure.
282
00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:30,383
You're right.
Dated! Awful!
Out!
283
00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:32,183
Knock, knock.
284
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,433
Yes, Miss Fine?
What is it?
285
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,150
And quickly, please.
286
00:10:35,183 --> 00:10:37,200
We have eight more
composers to see
today...
287
00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:39,283
and you're
right up
there.
288
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,233
Well?
289
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,660
Um, this isn't
the right time.
290
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,333
I don't want
to annoy you.
291
00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:47,660
Too late. Go on.
292
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,216
Okay.
It's about Brighton.
293
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,300
Yes.
294
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:50,350
Well, remember
the other day
295
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,383
Val and I were talking
in the kitchen?
296
00:10:52,416 --> 00:10:54,000
Or was it the living room?
297
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:55,250
Anyway, it was somewhere
in the house--
298
00:10:55,283 --> 00:10:58,100
and it's
such a nice house.
299
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,400
You know, that's
a lovely painting.
300
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:01,433
Who are those people?
301
00:11:01,466 --> 00:11:03,100
Miss Fine.
302
00:11:03,133 --> 00:11:04,233
It's just that brings
the color out
303
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:05,316
in the couch
so nice.
304
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,450
Yeah, well,
305
00:11:06,483 --> 00:11:08,433
they say Rembrandt goes
with everything.
306
00:11:09,283 --> 00:11:11,183
Now what about
Brighton.
Is he injured?
307
00:11:11,216 --> 00:11:12,250
No.
308
00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:14,000
Well, is there
property damage?
309
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:16,160
No.
Is he missing?
310
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,200
No. He's right upstairs.
311
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:19,000
Well, then, what
are you doing
here?
312
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:20,316
Isn't this something you
can handle on your own?
313
00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:21,433
Honestly, Maxwell,
314
00:11:21,466 --> 00:11:23,233
what is the point
of having a nanny
315
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:25,400
if she can't take care of
these things on her own?
316
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,830
Isn't that what I just said?
317
00:11:27,116 --> 00:11:29,830
Yes, but I
wanted
to say it too.
318
00:11:30,116 --> 00:11:31,216
Look, Miss Fine,
319
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,160
whatever it is,
just take care of
it.
320
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:34,450
I'm giving you carte
blanche,
all right?
321
00:11:34,483 --> 00:11:36,400
All right.
322
00:11:39,383 --> 00:11:41,383
Oh, well, Niles,
323
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:43,400
that was easier
than
I thought it would
be.
324
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,300
You didn't tell him,
did you?
325
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,333
No.
326
00:11:47,366 --> 00:11:50,500
What about Grandma Yetta's
evil eye?
327
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:53,233
Oh, that's just
an oldboba-mayse.
328
00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:54,366
Bubba--whatsa?
329
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,660
Aboba-mayse.
330
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,433
It's like
an old wives'
tale.
331
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,116
Honestly,
Niles,
it's the '90s.
332
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:01,200
For God's sakes,
333
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,300
who believes in
the evil eye
anyway?
334
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,333
Oy...
335
00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:18,466
You're up early.
336
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,433
I couldn't sleep.
Mm-hmm.
337
00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:22,266
I had indigestion.
338
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,266
It has nothing to do
with a guilty
conscience,
339
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,383
if that's what
you're
implying.
340
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:27,333
Crêêpes?
Back off, Niles.
341
00:12:27,366 --> 00:12:29,166
I said I would
punish the kid.
342
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,466
What else do you want?
343
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,483
Dare I suggest syrup?
344
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,216
Oh, what's
with the third degree?
345
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:39,000
I tried to tell him.
The man doesn't listen.
346
00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:41,350
Everything I say goes in one ear
and out the other.
347
00:12:41,383 --> 00:12:43,000
Good morning, Miss Fine.
348
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,433
I've been thinking
about what you said.
349
00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:46,830
What?
What did I say?
350
00:12:46,116 --> 00:12:48,100
About spending more time
with the children.
351
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,300
There, see,
I've already started.
352
00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:53,383
Children,
we are going to the carnival.
353
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:54,433
All of us?
354
00:12:54,466 --> 00:12:56,200
Mm-hmm. The whole family.
355
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,283
We're going to go on the rides,
we're going to eat cotton candy.
356
00:12:58,316 --> 00:13:01,166
It'll be
like being a child again.
357
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,660
And it'll give me a chance
358
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,183
to talk
to Brighton's headmaster,
359
00:13:05,216 --> 00:13:06,266
see what he's been up to.
360
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,333
Oops.
361
00:13:07,366 --> 00:13:10,830
These things can get so sticky.
362
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,466
You know, I kind of soured
on that whole carnival thing.
363
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,500
It's so cold and windy.
364
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:19,183
It's in the gymnasium.
365
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,350
It's hot and stuffy.
366
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,500
Miss Fine,
367
00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,330
I've just rearranged
my entire schedule,
368
00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:25,466
and now you're telling
me
you don't want to go?
369
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,216
Well, I'm not God.
I don't make the weather.
370
00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:31,150
But you insisted.
371
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:33,200
I wasn't feeling 100%
that day.
372
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:34,450
I think I was ovulating.
373
00:13:35,216 --> 00:13:36,416
Your eggs, sir.
374
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:44,133
Well, you may stay at home,
but we are going.
375
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:45,316
Do something.
376
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:47,300
Okay, I'll do
what I should've done
377
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,400
in the first place.
378
00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:50,000
Hear, hear.
379
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,116
Here.
380
00:13:54,316 --> 00:13:55,416
Uh, Mr. Sheffield,
381
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:58,500
I think there's something
you should know.
382
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:00,483
Brighton.
383
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,300
We don't care
that you're on parole.
384
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:04,330
Everyone deserves
a second chance.
385
00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:10,133
Fine. I'll tell him.
386
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,200
Um, Mr. Sheffield,
387
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:13,300
when we go to the carnival,
388
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:16,300
the headmaster
may mention something
389
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,416
about Brighton smoking,
390
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,116
but he's quit and he's sorry,
391
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,366
and there's nothing for you
to worry about.
392
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,200
Niles, these crêêpes are divine.
393
00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:24,283
And so light.
394
00:14:24,316 --> 00:14:25,366
My mother makes a blintz
395
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,233
that could double
for a mattress.
396
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:29,433
Girls, you may be excused.
397
00:14:29,466 --> 00:14:31,450
Not you, Miss Fine.
398
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,150
Smoking, Brighton?
399
00:14:37,183 --> 00:14:38,283
I can't believe this.
400
00:14:38,316 --> 00:14:40,216
What on Earth
possessed you to do this?
401
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:44,166
Are you through here?
402
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,116
It's beginning
to look that way.
403
00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:48,333
Well, I'm waiting,
young man.
404
00:14:48,366 --> 00:14:50,330
What have you got to say
for yourself?
405
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,500
I didn't inhale.
406
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:00,450
That is the most
pathetically lame excuse
407
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,116
I've ever heard.
408
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:04,483
Go to your room.
409
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,450
Not you, Miss Fine.
410
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,266
Mr. Sheffield,
411
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,116
I think there's something
you should know.
412
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:12,300
Well, I'll say.
413
00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:14,166
Why wasn't I
told
about this?
414
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,000
Well, I tried
to tell you.
415
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:17,300
You told me
to take care of it.
416
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,166
I didn't know
what the problem
was.
417
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,466
Because
you wouldn't listen.
418
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000
Because you didn't tell me
it was anything like this.
419
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,416
Oh, well, it's pointless
to continue this discussion.
420
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:27,216
You had chocolate
cake yesterday.
421
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:29,160
What's that bloody well
got to do with anything?
422
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,150
Low blood sugar.
423
00:15:30,183 --> 00:15:31,416
You're
completely
irrational.
424
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:33,216
I'm irrational? Me?
Yes.
425
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,660
You're the one
twisting everything around.
426
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,266
Oh, so now I'm twisting?
427
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,160
You are the most
exasperating,
428
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,233
infuriating--
429
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,200
I think I just
had
a small stroke.
430
00:15:44,483 --> 00:15:46,160
Does that mean
431
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,830
we're not going
to the carnival?
432
00:15:48,116 --> 00:15:49,350
Miss Fine...
433
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,483
Well, it's very easy
for you to find fault.
434
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,830
You're off all day
435
00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:54,416
with your glamorous
theater people.
436
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:56,333
I'm stuck at home
working like a dog,
437
00:15:56,366 --> 00:15:58,000
raising the kids.
438
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,333
You're the nanny. It's your job.
439
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:02,000
Well, you're the father.
440
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,350
It's your job, too...
441
00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:05,450
Mr. Sheffield... Sir.
442
00:16:05,483 --> 00:16:07,333
Just go to your room.
443
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:11,160
Yes, you.
444
00:16:13,266 --> 00:16:15,416
Can you believe
he sent me to my room?
445
00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:18,350
He is so adorable sometimes.
446
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,250
♪♪ I'm in love ♪♪
447
00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:28,330
♪♪ I'm in love ♪♪
448
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:30,400
♪♪ I'm in love ♪♪
449
00:16:30,433 --> 00:16:32,160
No, no, wrong.
450
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,116
Totally wrong.
451
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:34,450
Make a note.
Fire the casting director.
452
00:16:34,483 --> 00:16:37,466
Maxwell, you're being
an absolute beast
today.
453
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,830
I love it.
454
00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:41,283
It's just that I know
455
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:43,133
exactly what
I'm looking for.
456
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:46,660
I need a Broadway star
with huge stage presence
457
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:48,266
who's instantly recognizable
to the entire country.
458
00:16:55,466 --> 00:16:59,000
♪♪ Hello-- ♪♪
459
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:00,316
Next!
460
00:17:08,166 --> 00:17:09,466
He's tough.
461
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,200
You're telling me.
462
00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:13,660
Break a leg, honey...
463
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,266
His.
464
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,250
I love her.
465
00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:19,400
Your song, please?
466
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:21,333
Oh, I get to sing too?
467
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:24,333
All right, um...
"People" in E flat.
468
00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:25,433
Hit it.
469
00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:27,166
Miss Fine!
470
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,300
Well, I can dream, can't I?
471
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:31,200
Take a break.
472
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's take a break.
473
00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:37,000
Miss Fine, we were in
the middle of
something.
474
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,830
Yes, I know.
475
00:17:38,116 --> 00:17:39,233
That's why I'm here.
476
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,000
You know, you shouldn't
leave the house
477
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:42,166
with things unresolved.
478
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,660
That's why men die young.
479
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,166
That's not why.
480
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,160
It's because
they want to.
481
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,466
The wife?
482
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,366
The nanny.
483
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,660
Look, we both know
484
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,200
that you
walked
out on me
485
00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:56,160
because you were
losing the
argument.
486
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:57,266
I wasn't losing anything.
487
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,100
Trust me, when you induce
a stroke on your opponent,
488
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,200
it's a sure win.
489
00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,100
I think you're winning again.
490
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:05,830
Well, it wasn't
a fair fight.
491
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:06,416
You didn't have
all the facts.
492
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,330
I don't think
I can take any
more.
493
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:12,166
Brighton got the idea to smoke
from a story
494
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,116
that he might've, maybe,
sort of heard from me.
495
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:18,400
From you?
Kind of.
496
00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:19,466
Well, what did
you tell him?
497
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000
Well, he said
that he was bad,
498
00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:24,233
and so I told him about a kid
that was worse.
499
00:18:24,266 --> 00:18:26,830
Who knew he'd take
it
as a challenge?
500
00:18:26,116 --> 00:18:27,416
That's my boy.
501
00:18:27,450 --> 00:18:30,660
Always striving
to reach new depths.
502
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,330
I'm the worse nanny
in the world.
503
00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:36,500
All right,
Rebecca de Mornay, then me.
504
00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:43,330
Oh, I could just
cut my tongue out,
505
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,660
so if you want to fire me,
do it now.
506
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:48,660
No, I'm not going to fire you,
507
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,160
although that offer
to cut out your tongue
508
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,283
might have some merit.
509
00:18:51,316 --> 00:18:53,400
If you told Brighton
to jump off London Bridge...
510
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,330
God, I'm beginning to sound
just like--
511
00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:56,150
I know.
512
00:18:56,183 --> 00:18:59,100
Don't you hate
when that happens?
513
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:01,100
I still can't believe
that son of yours
514
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:02,183
didn't turn me in.
515
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:04,150
Yeah.
Why do you suppose that is?
516
00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:05,266
Who knows?
517
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:07,830
He's probably got
some hideous torture
518
00:19:07,116 --> 00:19:08,416
planned for me later.
519
00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:11,300
No, I think perhaps...
520
00:19:13,216 --> 00:19:15,116
I mean, could it be?
521
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:16,150
What?
522
00:19:16,183 --> 00:19:17,400
He likes you?
523
00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:21,160
Well, stranger
things
have happened.
524
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,150
No, you're
the first nanny
525
00:19:23,183 --> 00:19:26,000
Brighton's made any kind
of connection with.
526
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:27,416
His mother was the only one
that could handle him.
527
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:31,160
They had a special kind
of relationship.
528
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,500
He feared her.
529
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,383
Fear. That's the key.
530
00:19:37,416 --> 00:19:39,333
Now we have to
figure out a
way
531
00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,116
to scare him bad enough
532
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:43,330
that he never smokes
again.
533
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,283
I sent him to his room.
534
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,160
Oh, please,
535
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,200
with a wide-screen TV
and a fully stocked mini-fridge?
536
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:50,250
Punish me.
537
00:19:50,283 --> 00:19:52,300
So, what do you suggest?
538
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:55,416
Something much more cruel
and unusual.
539
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:57,466
We are are going to
have to consult
540
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,216
the high priestess
of punishment.
541
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,500
Hello, Ma?
542
00:20:11,116 --> 00:20:13,483
Grandma Yetta...
543
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,266
Yeah?
544
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,166
It's Franny.
545
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,283
Who?
546
00:20:22,316 --> 00:20:24,200
Franny,
your granddaughter.
547
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:27,300
Oh, Franny, hi.
548
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,166
It's nice to meet you.
549
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,166
That's the one
good
thing about
senility.
550
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,266
You're always
meeting new people.
551
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:37,216
How you doing, angel?
552
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,150
[COUGHING]
553
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:44,350
Thank God
I've still got my health.
554
00:20:44,383 --> 00:20:46,216
Maybe you two
could go out
555
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,416
and have a smoke later.
556
00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:50,330
Morty...
557
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:52,416
Morty,
you never looked so good.
558
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,160
Did you get hair plugs?
559
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,160
Oh, no, Grandma,
that's not Daddy.
560
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,266
So who the hell are you?
561
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:05,500
Maxwell Sheffield.
562
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,166
We brought you some babka.
563
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,150
Cake? Put it away.
564
00:21:10,183 --> 00:21:11,366
Save it for my room.
565
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,183
If they see babka,
they'll all want.
566
00:21:14,216 --> 00:21:18,400
Uh, Grandma,
I want you to meet somebody.
567
00:21:18,433 --> 00:21:22,500
Oh, I haven't seen you
since you were this big.
568
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:23,283
No, Yetta,
569
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:25,166
you've never
met him
before.
570
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,266
Oh.
571
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:29,330
[COUGHS]
572
00:21:31,283 --> 00:21:33,400
Oy, Yetta,
you sound like
you're making
espresso
573
00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:35,116
over there.
574
00:21:36,316 --> 00:21:38,660
All right, all right.
I get the point.
575
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:41,166
Oh, no, you
don't,
bubele.
576
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,200
We're just
getting
started.
577
00:21:43,233 --> 00:21:46,283
Why don't you go
visit with Yetta?
578
00:21:46,316 --> 00:21:47,400
Over there?
579
00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:50,483
Yeah, where the air
is nice and fresh.
580
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,330
Come here.
581
00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:55,216
Let me have a look
at that face.
582
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,266
Brighton was
caught smoking.
583
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,250
Smoking? Feh!
584
00:21:59,283 --> 00:22:00,416
You smoke.
585
00:22:00,450 --> 00:22:02,100
Me it doesn't affect.
586
00:22:02,133 --> 00:22:03,183
[COUGHS]
587
00:22:03,216 --> 00:22:05,500
I'm like a horse.
588
00:22:05,830 --> 00:22:06,316
But you,
589
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:08,383
you know what could happen?
590
00:22:08,416 --> 00:22:12,483
We'll go meet Ethel,
phlegm in a hairnet.
591
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,216
Oh, please, not Ethel.
592
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,116
Not
Ethel!
I swear.
593
00:22:17,150 --> 00:22:19,266
I'll never touch
another cigarette again.
594
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:20,333
Oh, God...
595
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,216
So what do you say
596
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:23,300
we go grab
a cup of coffee
597
00:22:23,333 --> 00:22:24,383
and break open
the babka?
598
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,500
Babka?
599
00:22:26,830 --> 00:22:27,416
ALL: Babka?
600
00:22:29,433 --> 00:22:32,000
Give them
the babka!